Podcast Summary: Coaching for Leaders – Episode 732: "How to Find What’s Missing" with Jeff Wetzler

Introduction

In Episode 732 of Coaching for Leaders, host Dr. Dave Stachowiak engages in a profound conversation with Jeff Wetzler, co-founder of Transcend and author of Tap into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life. Released on May 5, 2025, this episode delves into the often-overlooked aspects of leadership—particularly the unseen assumptions and hidden feedback that can significantly impact organizational effectiveness. Through personal anecdotes, practical insights, and strategic questioning techniques, Jeff provides listeners with the tools to uncover what’s missing in their leadership approach.

Jeff Wetzler’s Transformative Uber Experience

The episode kicks off with Jeff recounting a pivotal personal experience that reshaped his understanding of assumptions and human connections. Jeff narrates an encounter with an Uber driver adorned with a Blue Lives Matter symbol—an image that initially invoked fear and discomfort due to his associations with racial justice and police symbolism.

“I realized there’s more that we share in common than I realize. So it was definitely a humbling moment. It was a connecting moment. And it was a moment that truly changed me forever.” ([02:43])

This story serves as a powerful illustration of how initial assumptions can cloud judgment and hinder meaningful interactions. Jeff emphasizes the importance of pushing past these assumptions to discover the person behind the symbol, fostering empathy and understanding.

Identifying Hidden Feedback Cues

Dave and Jeff transition to discussing the concept of hidden feedback cues—subtle signals that leaders often overlook but can indicate deeper issues within teams or organizations. Jeff highlights two primary types of hidden cues:

1. Repeated Questions or Suggestions About Seemingly Minor Details:

   Jeff explains that when team members repeatedly bring up small issues, it’s often masking a more significant concern.

   “If you see yourself dismissing what might seem like this is just a trivial question that keeps coming up, that can be a cue to get curious.” ([10:10])

2. Increased Involvement in Tactical Decisions:

   An uptick in a team member’s involvement may indicate underlying reasons for the change, such as insecurity or lack of trust.

   “If they start to show up more, there must be some reason why they're feeling the need to do this.” ([13:18])

Conversely, unexpected decreases in engagement can signal deprioritization or disenchantment, urging leaders to explore the root causes.

“People are changing their pattern of behavior... get curious about.” ([14:24])

The Power of Curiosity in Leadership

Central to Jeff’s philosophy is the cultivation of curiosity as a leadership tool. By questioning what might be missing or how else a situation can be interpreted, leaders can unveil deeper insights and foster a culture of openness.

“What might I be missing?” ([17:46])

Jeff advocates for asking probing questions to oneself and others to unlock hidden information and understand diverse perspectives. This approach not only enhances empathy but also strengthens relationships within the organization.

“There’s something here for me to learn. What can I learn?” ([27:21])

Leveraging AI to Enhance Curiosity

Addressing the modern challenges of leadership, Jeff discusses the integration of Artificial Intelligence (AI) as a tool to bolster human curiosity. Instead of seeking direct answers from AI, Jeff suggests using it to generate insightful questions that prompt deeper reflection and exploration.

“If you just take whatever strongly held point of view you have... ask the question at the end, what might I be missing?” ([29:03])

This technique allows leaders to break free from cognitive biases and explore multiple angles of a situation, thereby expanding their cognitive framework and leading to more informed decision-making.

Introducing the ASK Project

Towards the end of the episode, Jeff unveils the ASK Project, a collaborative initiative aimed at embedding curiosity and effective questioning into the DNA of organizations. Partnering with Emily Irving, Jeff describes the project’s mission to go beyond theoretical knowledge by providing practical learning experiences, reinforcements, and feedback mechanisms to drive lasting behavioral change.

“Books are great at building knowledge... but you need to have powerful learning experiences and reinforcements and practice and feedback.” ([33:28])

Conclusion and Additional Resources

Dr. Dave Stachowiak wraps up the episode by highlighting related resources and encouraging listeners to explore further episodes that complement the themes discussed with Jeff. He also promotes the Coaching for Leaders membership, offering access to a vast library of episodes, weekly leadership guides, and exclusive content to support continuous leadership development.

“If this conversation was helpful to you, three related episodes I'd recommend...” ([34:25])

Key Takeaways:

• Challenge Assumptions: Leaders must recognize and question their preconceived notions to foster genuine connections and uncover hidden insights.
• Recognize Hidden Feedback Cues: Subtle behavioral changes in team members can indicate underlying issues that require attention.
• Cultivate Curiosity: Asking the right questions opens avenues for deeper understanding and strengthens leadership effectiveness.
• Utilize AI as a Tool: Leverage AI to generate meaningful questions that enhance human curiosity and decision-making processes.
• Engage with Continuous Learning: Initiatives like the ASK Project underscore the importance of integrating curiosity into organizational culture for sustained growth.

Notable Quotes:

• “What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know, it's what we know for sure that just ain't so.” – Mark Twain ([00:00])
• “What might I be missing?” ([17:46])
• “Curiosity is a team sport.” ([29:03])

Final Thoughts

Episode 732 of Coaching for Leaders offers a deep dive into the nuanced aspects of leadership that often go unnoticed. Jeff Wetzler’s insights on uncovering what’s missing through intentional curiosity and questioning provide invaluable strategies for leaders striving to enhance their effectiveness and foster a more empathetic and responsive organizational environment. Whether you’re navigating complex team dynamics or seeking to build stronger interpersonal connections, this episode equips you with the tools to lead with greater awareness and understanding.