Coaching for Leaders Episode 742: The Problem Leaders Have With Authenticity

Host: Dave Stachowiak
Guest: Sabina Nawaz
Release Date: July 28, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 742 of "Coaching for Leaders," host Dave Stachowiak delves into the nuanced concept of authenticity in leadership with executive coach Sabina Nawaz. The episode explores how leaders often misunderstand and misuse authenticity, leading to ineffective leadership practices.

Dave Stachowiak [00:00]: "Every leader I know intends to be authentic. Unfortunately, we sometimes use authenticity as an excuse not to do the critical work of calibrating our actions."

The Pitfall of Singular Authenticity

Sabina Nawaz introduces the idea that authenticity is neither singular nor static. Leaders often believe they must display a single, unchanging version of themselves across all roles and contexts, which can be limiting and counterproductive.

Sabina Nawaz [06:43]: "Authenticity is neither singular nor static. Think about this, Dave. Do you show up exactly the same way when you're hosting podcasts as when you're working with clients, as when you're showing up with your partner or family at home or when you're out with your friends?"

Dave Stachowiak [06:45]: "Nope."

This conversation underscores that embracing multiple, context-dependent facets of oneself can lead to more effective and genuine leadership.

The Impact of "Yeah, But"

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the detrimental use of phrases like "yeah, but" in leadership communication. Sabina highlights how such phrases can stifle open dialogue and block generative conversations essential for team growth.

Sabina Nawaz [02:45]: "A 'yeah, but' really blocks generative conversation. Generative conversation, meaning conversations that build on each other."

Sabina Nawaz [04:43]: "A 'yeah, but' ensures that you keep the gates of truth forever closed."

Using "yeah, but" can prevent leaders from truly engaging with their team's ideas and feedback, thereby hindering organizational progress.

Understanding Authenticity vs. Integrity

Sabina clarifies the distinction between authenticity and integrity, emphasizing that true authenticity should align with one's core values and not serve as a shield against necessary behavioral adjustments.

Sabina Nawaz [10:03]: "Underneath a lot of that authenticity are your values, integrity being one of them. So are you in integrity with your values?"

She illustrates how conflicting values can arise and the importance of prioritizing them based on context and intention.

Sabina Nawaz [12:23]: "My goal is to save my child's life, I'm going to prioritize certain values over others."

Case Study: CEO Janet

A compelling example provided by Sabina involves "Janet," a successful CEO whose reliance on "no" and impatience has inadvertently created a toxic work environment. Despite her achievements, Janet's communication style leads to decreased productivity and employee morale.

Sabina Nawaz [13:40]: "Once she started looking at really seeing the impact of her actions, she started recognizing... how much time the team was wasting."

This case study exemplifies how authentic behavior, when not aligned with the team's needs and organizational goals, can be counterproductive.

Strategies for Authentic Leadership

1. Replace "Yeah, But" with "Yes, And"

Inspired by improvisational techniques, Sabina suggests adopting a "yes, and" approach to foster more collaborative and open conversations.

Sabina Nawaz [05:12]: "One way to counteract 'yeah, but' is to have a sentence that says 'yes, and.'"

2. Embrace Plural Authenticity

Acknowledging that leaders naturally exhibit different facets of themselves in various roles allows for flexibility and more genuine interactions.

Sabina Nawaz [07:02]: "We are shaped by the roles we occupy and by the external context that we find ourselves in, and we respond to those."

3. Small Steps and Experimentation

Sabina emphasizes the importance of taking incremental steps towards behavioral change rather than attempting drastic overhauls.

Sabina Nawaz [23:40]: "Really, really tiny steps. This is not about changing overnight."

4. Identify Integrity Denominators

Leaders are encouraged to recognize their non-negotiable values—what Sabina calls "integrity denominators"—to ensure their actions consistently reflect their core beliefs.

Dave Stachowiak [27:22]: "Identify the underlying values that inform those behaviors in the roles that you play."

Personal Growth and Change

Sabina shares a personal anecdote about running her first marathon, illustrating her own journey of redefining her identity and embracing change.

Sabina Nawaz [31:44]: "Three years later, here I am having run my first marathon and I've changed my mind about my own identity. I can now think of myself as an athlete."

This story underscores the transformative power of small, consistent efforts in personal and professional development.

Conclusion and Recommendations

Dave and Sabina conclude by reiterating the importance of viewing authenticity as a dynamic and multifaceted concept. They encourage leaders to embrace change, experiment with new behaviors, and align their actions with their core values to lead more effectively.

Dave Stachowiak [33:24]: "This was an incredibly interesting conversation. I appreciate your archaeologist mindset to dig into and discover the nuances behind this very loaded term. Authenticity."

Additionally, Dave recommends related podcast episodes for further exploration:

• Episode 507: How to Change Your Behavior with BJ Fogg
• Episode 617: How to Start a Big Leadership Role with Carol Kaufman
• Episode 696: The Habits that Hold Leaders Back with Marshall Goldsmith

He also highlights the benefits of activating a FREE membership at coachingforleaders.com for access to a comprehensive library of leadership resources.

Key Takeaways

• Authenticity is Multi-Dimensional: Leaders should embrace different facets of themselves appropriate to various roles and contexts.

• "Yeah, But" Blocks Communication: Replacing it with "Yes, and" can foster more productive and open conversations.

• Align Actions with Core Values: Integrity involves consistently aligning actions with core beliefs, even when values conflict.

• Small, Consistent Steps Lead to Change: Incremental behavioral adjustments are more sustainable and effective than drastic changes.

• Self-Awareness is Crucial: Understanding the impact of one's actions on others is essential for genuine and effective leadership.

By unpacking the complexities of authenticity and offering practical strategies, this episode equips leaders with the tools needed to present their most genuine selves while effectively leading their teams.