Podcast Summary: Coaching for Leaders, Episode 762
Episode Title: Show Up Better, Faster, with Claude Silver
Host: Dave Stachowiak
Guest: Claude Silver, Chief Heart Officer at VaynerX
Date: December 8, 2025
Overview of the Episode
This episode dives into the powerful theme of “showing up”—not just physically at work, but emotionally and authentically. Host Dave Stachowiak and guest Claude Silver explore how leaders can break free from limiting self-talk and internal narratives that hold them back, so they can truly “show up” for themselves, their teams, and their organizations. Drawing from Claude’s personal journey, her new book, and practical frameworks, the conversation offers actionable strategies to identify, challenge, and evolve the self-imposed labels and lies that hinder personal and professional growth.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. The “Song in Your Head” Metaphor
[03:21]
- Analogy: Dave opens by likening recurring self-talk to having a song stuck in your head—sometimes playful, sometimes damaging.
- Claude’s Story: Claude recounts an Outward Bound experience where a literal song ("Head Like a Hole", Nine Inch Nails) paralleled her negative internal narrative.
"When she said to me, 'You better get another song in your head,' it was the first time I actually literally put two and two together, that those things are connected." – Claude Silver [04:02]
- Takeaway: What we “play” on repeat deeply influences our confidence, relationships, and leadership behavior.
2. Labels: Where They Come From and How They Limit Us
[05:36]
- Childhood Roots: Claude shares how childhood struggles with dyslexia led her to adopt a limiting self-label (“I am dumb”), which persisted until her mid-30s.
"That label came from some childhood experiences with dyslexia. Now it's a superpower. But...I concocted a story that I am dumb." – Claude Silver [06:10]
- Impact: Believing the label deprived her of opportunities and contributed to self-sabotage.
- Dave’s Example: Dave relates his own early narrative of “I am shy,” which he later reframed as introversion, transforming it into a superpower.
"It was a lie, and shifted it in a way that helped it to work better for me...I wouldn't be doing this show today if it hadn't been for me, like, really looking at that and shifting that." – Dave Stachowiak [11:14]
3. The Power of Self-Awareness & Therapy
[08:09]
- Therapeutic Breakthrough: Claude explains that therapy—specifically somatic therapy—helped her uncover the origins of her limiting beliefs and finally move past them.
- Importance of Support: Both emphasize the value of external support—therapist, coach, or supportive friend—to help reveal and work through self-limiting narratives.
"If you're doing this alone...get into some kind of still state or a state when you're really agitated. What are you telling yourself?...Capture that." – Claude Silver [21:07]
4. The LIE Framework: Label, Internal Evidence, Evolve
[15:35]
- Step 1: Label
- Identify and write down the labels or self-talk that hold you back (“I am dumb”, “I am shy”).
- Step 2: Internal Evidence
- Gather evidence for and against that label. Is it really true? What contradicts it?
"For me, let's take me, 'I am dumb'...let me see if I can find the evidence." – Claude Silver [16:05]
- Step 3: Evolve
- Replace the label with a new, affirming truth (“I am a different kind of learner”).
- Transform this into a mantra or even set it to a song—repeat it to reinforce the new narrative.
"You gotta put something back in there, or else...it's going to siphon that lie back." – Claude Silver [17:48]
"That's the evolve...I'm going to say it repetitively, repetitively...and it's going to work." – Claude Silver [20:04]
5. Challenges and Tips for Breaking the Pattern
[20:20], [21:07], [25:37]
- Sometimes the Old Narrative Feels Overwhelming: If most “evidence” seems to support the limiting label, share it with a trusted friend to get an outside perspective.
"I really firmly believe that this is not work—if you’re stuck—that you can do alone." – Claude Silver [21:07]
- Normalizing Negative Self-Talk:
"There’s nothing abnormal about this. We all have somewhat of an imposter syndrome, a limiting belief." – Claude Silver [27:44]
- The Role of Community & Connection: Claude points out the current epidemic of loneliness and isolation post-pandemic, emphasizing the importance of intentional belonging and kindness in organizations.
"We are wired to belong...we're supposed to be in community with one another." – Claude Silver [30:40]
6. Leadership Wisdom: Patience and Playing the Long Game
[31:38]
- Lesson from Gary Vaynerchuk: Claude says working with Gary Vaynerchuk changed her mind about patience—it’s essential to play the long game as a leader.
"What I understand now is that it's a long game, it's a marathon, not a sprint." – Claude Silver [31:38]
"I like the idea that patience is a long game now. It kind of, like, in a way let me off the hook.” – Claude Silver [32:30]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
Identifying the “song” in our heads:
"She probably expected something much different than what I gave her, which is, hilar, if I think back on it. But it was a real, very, very big wake up call for me." – Claude Silver [04:14]
-
On the power of self-labels:
"That negative voice that goes around and around and around, on repeat, on repeat, on repeat is so powerful.” – Claude Silver [07:38]
-
On moving past limiting beliefs:
"Once that came out, we were able to unpack the genesis of that. Where did that come from? I mean, I wasn't born like that.” – Claude Silver [08:55]
-
On belonging and leadership:
"We are wired to belong. All human beings are wired to belong. We're supposed to be in community with one another." – Claude Silver [30:40]
-
On patience in leadership:
"Playing the long game is something that he taught me...to actually be...intentional and to be patient, setting things up so that you have the payoff in time...not immediate." – Claude Silver [31:51]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:00–03:21 — Introducing the “song in your head” metaphor and its effects on mindset
- 05:36–08:09 — Origins and impact of self-labels (dyslexia, self-worth)
- 10:05–11:50 — Dave’s story: re-framing “I am shy” as introversion
- 13:40–15:35 — The value of presence, support, and writing down self-talk
- 15:35–20:04 — Walking through the LIE (Label, Internal Evidence, Evolve) framework
- 21:07–25:37 — What to do if the negative label seems true; importance of outside perspective
- 27:44–30:40 — Normalizing negative self-talk; the organizational and human need for connection
- 31:38–32:51 — Leadership lesson: patience and the long game
Overall Tone and Takeaways
The conversation balances warmth, honesty, and practical wisdom. Both speakers candidly share personal struggles and victories, encouraging listeners to recognize, name, and evolve the stories they tell themselves. The tone is empathetic, uplifting, and action-oriented—making a powerful case for self-awareness, deliberate self-talk, and the importance of leaning into community for honest feedback and support.
Related Resources Mentioned
- Claude Silver – "Be Yourself at Work: The Groundbreaking Power of Showing Up, Standing Out, and Leading from the Heart"
- Coaching for Leaders Episodes:
- #232: How to Tame your Inner Critic (Tara Mohr)
- #715: How to Stand up for Yourself (Sunita Sa)
- #756: What It Feels Like When You Don’t Belong (Muriel Wilkins)
By the episode’s end, listeners are left with both a practical framework and an inspiring invitation: Confront your limiting labels, lean into your truth, and help foster more authentic workplaces and communities. As Claude says, “We deserve to really feel like we can thrive, not just survive in this world, and that work has to be done by us.” [26:50]