Podcast Summary: Coaching for Leaders – Episode 765

Title: How to See What’s Holding You Back, with Marty Dubin
Host: Dave Stachowiak
Guest: Marty Dubin, Clinical Psychologist, Entrepreneur, Business Coach, Author of How to See What's Holding You Back as a Leader
Release Date: January 12, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dave Stachowiak sits down with Dr. Marty Dubin to explore the invisible barriers often impeding leaders' growth, with a particular focus on identity blind spots—how our self-concept can get misaligned with our evolving roles. The conversation draws on Marty's experiences as a CEO-turned-coach and clinical psychologist, as well as insights from his book. Together, they unpack actionable strategies for recognizing, addressing, and shifting both personal and organizational blind spots.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Universal Barrier: Ourselves

• Opening insight: Most leaders, when asked what's blocking their progress, admit “myself” is the main obstacle. (00:00)
• Theme: Growth requires identifying and confronting these internal blind spots, not just learning new skills.

2. The Role of Identity in Leadership Performance

• Marty’s personal story: He recounts co-founding a healthcare company and how his self-concept as a psychologist–rather than as a CEO–led to significant business missteps. (02:20–04:45)

  "All the time that I was running the company, my identity was still as a psychologist ... If I had that lens on, I would have been much more conscientious about the bidding process ... because I had not really focused that much on that, I was interested in the mental health and psychological aspects ... that identity, in a sense, kind of eroded what we were doing." — Marty Dubin (03:00)

• Misalignment Example: Often, people’s career progress (e.g., engineer → manager) is hindered by their attachment to previous identities.

3. Identity Blind Spots and Transitioning Roles

• Identity vs. Role: Many promoted leaders fail because they don’t realign identity with new responsibilities. (06:45)

  "Our identities serve to focus our attention ... if you’re not in that role shift, if you’re not now saying, 'I’m a manager,' you’re going to be doing those management things, but not with your full self." — Marty Dubin (07:00)

• Psychological transition: Moving to a new role is as much a psychological process (requiring letting go, even grieving) as it is skills acquisition. (08:05)

4. Seeing Identity in Ourselves and Others

• How to listen for identity: Pay attention to how people introduce themselves and the ‘first and last things’ they say in conversation. (10:31)
• Case Study: “The Invisible Glue” — A leader whose self-concept as the indispensable but invisible number two prevented her from being considered for promotion. (11:32–12:48)

  "She called herself the invisible glue in the company ... Now, do we have the answer of why you weren’t even thought of for the job?" — Marty Dubin (12:09)

5. Changing Identity Without “Selling Out”

• Reframing the narrative: Changing professional identity doesn’t mean abandoning your core self; rather, it’s evolving your “personal brand.” (13:54–16:09)
• Example: A leader with a “speak truth to power” identity successfully pivots to senior management by reframing herself as a trusted “truth-speaker,” not a rebel. (16:09)

6. Seven Common Identity Patterns (and Others)

• Frequent blind spots: Examples include the Rebel, the Imposter, the Rule Follower, the Independent Thinker, the Peacemaker, Feeling Unworthy, and Entitlement. (18:47)
• Diagnosing through strengths: Start by acknowledging what’s been working, then compare those strengths/identities to the requirements of a new role. (19:32)

7. Practical Tools for Spotting Your Blind Spots

• Calendar audit: Review the past three months of activity to objectively see where energy and time are being invested. Does that align with your current or target role? (21:17–21:57)

  "It's really eye-opening ... there's usually these, 'aha' experiences of, oh my God, why am I doing so much of that?" — Marty Dubin (21:57)

• Identity as a filter: What we value and notice is shaped by our self-concept, often unconsciously.

8. Small, Consistent Actions Over Drastic “Transformation”

• Behavior first: Embodying the new identity, even before it feels natural, can be the most effective lever for change. (30:12–32:22)

  "Sometimes the quickest way is just to create a behavior change. ... your behavior is you’re acting that way, all of a sudden your feelings start to change ... and your identity, how you think about yourself, catches up." — Marty Dubin (30:35)

• Beware the myth of “transformation”: Sustainable change is about small, consistent shifts, not dramatic overhauls. (27:20–29:45)

  "Who really wants to be transformed? ... These really are small changes ... that can have huge impacts." — Marty Dubin (27:20)

9. Proactive Identity Shifts

• Preparation for new roles: Consider and “try on” new identities before you move into a new role by acting as if you already hold it. (25:23–26:58)

Notable Quotes

• "Identity acts as a filter to filter in what we do and filter out what we don’t do." — Marty Dubin (22:00)
• "This is not about changing who you are. This is really about becoming more aware of who you are and making small behavior changes that can have huge impacts." — Marty Dubin (28:10)
• "If you feel that discomfort, that strangeness, that weirdness ... that’s actually a good indicator … you are shifting the way you think about yourself and your identity." — Dave Stachowiak (32:22)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – Introduction; why self is the biggest barrier
• 02:20 – 04:45 – Marty’s story: Identity as psychologist vs. CEO and business consequences
• 06:44 – 08:05 – Identity misalignment for newly promoted leaders; psychological adjustment
• 10:31 – 12:48 – First and last things people say reveal identity; case study: “The Invisible Glue”
• 13:54 – 16:09 – Changing identity without “selling out”; reframing the story
• 16:09 – 18:03 – Example: The “truth-teller” identity shift in senior leadership
• 18:47 – 21:17 – Seven common identity blind spots; strength audit approach
• 21:17 – 23:48 – Audit your calendar/time; practical strategies for self-awareness
• 25:23 – 26:58 – Proactively shifting identity for future roles; “act as if”
• 27:20 – 29:45 – Small, consistent actions vs. “transformation” myth
• 30:12 – 32:22 – Embody the new identity; why behavior change leads to identity change

Memorable Moments

• The “Invisible Glue” anecdote, which powerfully illustrates how self-perception—“I’m the invisible glue”—directly shapes organizational outcomes and opportunities. (11:32–12:48)
• The practical suggestion of auditing your recent calendar for misalignments between your self-image, where you spend time, and what your organizational role (or next role) requires. (21:17–23:48)
• Reframing “transformation” in leadership development as the cumulative effect of small, consistent behavior shifts, not radical overhauls. (27:20–29:45)

Actionable Takeaways

• Audit your time to assess misalignments between your current activities and required leadership responsibilities.
• Listen to your own narrative—the first and last things you say about yourself can reveal hidden identity filters.
• Experiment with small shifts: Begin “acting as if” you are already in the new role you aspire to, and notice the ripple effects.
• Don't fear identity evolution: Shifting your professional identity is not “selling out”; it’s about growing and matching your strengths to new contexts.

Resources Mentioned

• Book: How to See What's Holding You Back as a Leader by Marty Dubin
• Related episodes:
  • Episode 756: Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves (Margaret Andrews)
  • Episode 758: How to See What Others Miss (Kirsten Ferguson)
  • Episode 762: Show Up Better Faster (Claude Silver)

If you’re at a crossroads in your career or finding that what made you successful isn’t moving you forward anymore, this episode offers wise, immediately actionable counsel for seeing—and shifting—what’s holding you back.