Podcast Summary: Coaching for Leaders, Episode 766

Title: Using AI to Make Networking Easier
Host: Dave Stachowiak
Guest: Dr. Ruth Gotian
Date: January 19, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode explores how leaders and professionals can leverage AI tools to enhance networking without sacrificing the authenticity and human effort required to build real relationships. Dr. Ruth Gotian—renowned expert in mentoring, high performance, and relationship building—returns to share practical strategies for making networking easier, more intentional, and more effective through the thoughtful use of artificial intelligence.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The New Challenges of Networking Post-Pandemic

• Shrinking Networks: According to McKinsey, most people’s networks have “shrunk or stalled” since the COVID-19 pandemic ([02:00]).
• Virtual Trust-Building: There’s a misconception that trust can’t be built virtually, but Ruth asserts trust can flourish online if given time and repeated, small, authentic gestures ([02:58]).

  “Trust can be formed, but the challenge is that it’s formed over time. It’s these little things that you do over time that help breed and infuse trust.” — Ruth Gotian ([02:58])

2. The Importance of Intentionality

• No Longer Accidental: Building relationships now requires deliberate action instead of merely bumping into colleagues at the office or events ([03:52]).

• Making it Enjoyable: Ruth offers creative ways to foster connections, e.g., sending a photo of a friend’s book at bookstores or airports, or sharing something thoughtful without an agenda ([04:23]).

  “There’s no ask, there’s no transaction. It’s just, ‘Oh, you were top of mind. I thought of you. I’m sending it to you.’” — Ruth Gotian ([05:07])

3. Lowering the Barrier to Participation: The 99-1 Rule

• Online Engagement: 90% of online community members are lurkers, 9% occasionally interact, and less than 1% create content ([06:14]).

  • On LinkedIn, only 0.3% post regularly. Engaging consistently—even in small ways—puts you ahead of most users ([08:47]).

  “If you do it enough, people start to associate you around certain ideas and they begin to know you. And after they know you, they begin to like you. And after they like you, they begin to trust you.” — Ruth Gotian ([07:36])

• Actionable Advice:

  • Don’t feel you need your own content—commenting thoughtfully, sharing, and curating are powerful.
  • Summarize what you learned from a podcast episode each week and post it, becoming a “curator of information” ([09:53]).

4. Practical Application: Using AI to Enhance, Not Replace, Networking

• AI for Administrative Legwork: AI can process speaker lists, programs, attendee directories before events, saving hours of research ([13:25]).

  • AI can identify what you have in common with attendees—especially non-work connections.

• AI and Personal Values: Let AI do the data crunching, but actual outreach and relationship building should stay human.

  “AI is there to enhance, it is not there to replace.” — Ruth Gotian ([13:25])

• Strategic Use:

  • When planning event networking, use AI to curate who you might want to connect with, based on your goals ([15:15]).

5. Case Study: Ruth’s Signature Networking Dinners

• Curating Connections: Ruth organizes small dinners during travel and conferences, bringing together acquaintances from different fields to foster new partnerships and relationships ([16:27]).
  • Every attendee gets a brief one-sentence intro and LinkedIn link, shared ahead of time for everyone to “safely stalk” and prepare ([20:46]).
• Pre-Event AI Use: AI can be used to find overlaps and interesting intros, though caution is needed as bios may “hallucinate” facts ([20:46]).

6. Post-Event Follow-up: The 24/7/30 Model

• Personalized, Timely Communication:

  • 24 Hours: Quick, genuine follow-up (“Loved our conversation about x…”)
  • 7 Days: Provide a resource or useful link related to your discussion.
  • 30 Days: Check-in, reference previous topics, nurture the connection ([25:01]).

• AI as a Relationship Assistant:

  • Use AI to suggest topics, find relevant content, and organize your thoughts, but always personalize the messages ([24:14]).
  • Keep communication in your own voice—AI can help brainstorm and polish but should not replace authenticity ([26:28]).

7. Leveraging AI for Crafting Your Online Presence

• Optimizing LinkedIn Profiles:
  • Use AI to draft and polish your summary and work experience, request multiple versions, and tailor messaging for job searches ([31:15]).
  • Add specific language about AI skills or experience, as recruiters are actively searching for these terms ([31:15]).
  • List not just job titles but descriptions of your roles and achievements; detail feeds the algorithm ([31:15]).
  • Insider tip: Connect with leadership at target companies to improve chances of being seen by recruiters ([31:15]).

8. Shifting Mindsets About AI and Networking

• Evolving Perspective: Ruth used to believe AI would replace jobs but now sees it as an exponential advantage for those who leverage it smartly. It won’t replace authentic human connection, but will elevate those who integrate it effectively ([34:53]).

  “Those who know how to leverage [AI] are going to stand out exponentially… those things will make you stand out and jump to the front of the line.” — Ruth Gotian ([35:05])

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “People can relate to your struggles more than they can relate to your wins, because the wins are few and far in between, but the struggles, everyone has them.” — Ruth Gotian ([07:41])
• “Once is something that happens once, twice is a pattern. By three times, you’re the go-to person.” — Ruth Gotian ([12:16])
• “I believe we need to invest in those relationships without ever asking for anything.” — Ruth Gotian ([16:27])
• “When all this starts to enter and starts getting submitted into AI, AI will start putting it out and you could say in Ruth Gotian’s voice and tone and style... But it doesn’t have enough nuance yet. Those details only you can provide.” — Ruth Gotian ([29:00])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:00 – Networks shrinking and the myth of virtual trust-building
• 04:23 – Making intentional connection fun and values-aligned
• 06:14 – The 99-1 rule: engagement on LinkedIn and other platforms
• 09:53 – How consistent small actions can make you memorable
• 13:25 – Using AI for pre-event networking research
• 16:27 – The logistics and benefits of networking dinners
• 20:46 – How to use/prepare attendee bios and avoid AI “hallucinations”
• 24:14 – Using AI for post-event follow-up and relationship nurturing
• 25:01 – The 24/7/30 follow-up model
• 26:28 – Keeping communication authentic even with AI assistance
• 31:15 – Optimizing your LinkedIn profile with AI's help
• 34:53 – Dr. Gotian’s updated perspective on the intersection of AI and networking

Episode Takeaways

• AI is best used as an assistant for the repetitive or data-gathering work—not a stand-in for real human engagement.
• Building trust and relationships requires consistent, small actions; authenticity is more powerful than polished perfection.
• Consistent content curation or engagement—even at a small scale—makes you memorable to others in your network.
• In-person or virtual gatherings are opportunities to intentionally connect people from different spheres.
• Follow-up is crucial, and AI can help manage and personalize it, but it must remain in your voice.
• Optimize your digital presence—especially LinkedIn—using AI drafts, but tailor, vary, and own your narrative.
• Go from being a “lurker” to an engager online. Small, consistent engagement pays off disproportionately.

Further Listening (Mentioned by Dave)

• Episode 279: "How to Grow Your Professional Network" with Tom Henschel
• Episode 591: "How to Build a Network While Still Doing Everything Else" with Ruth Gotian
• Episode 757: "The Key Elements of a Powerful Personal Brand" with Goldie Chan

This summary captures the essential advice and strategies from Dr. Ruth Gotian and Dave Stachowiak on building meaningful relationships using AI as a tool for network administration, research, and follow-up, while always prioritizing genuine, consistent human interaction as the heart of success.