Coaching for Leaders

Episode: Stop What’s Holding You Back, with Anna Bellini

Host: Dave Stachowiak
Guest: Anna Bellini, R&D Director, Medical Devices, Denmark
Air Date: August 27, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the importance of identifying and stopping self-limiting habits in leadership, featuring a candid conversation with Anna Bellini, a coaching academy graduate. Anna shares her personal journey of feeling "stuck" in her career, the critical feedback she received about her emotional responses, and how the Coaching for Leaders Academy empowered her to recognize and address her blind spots. The discussion highlights the value of peer feedback, self-awareness, and building psychological safety in leadership communities.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Anna’s Background and Motivation for Change

• [00:59] Anna introduces herself as an R&D Director in a Danish medical device company, originally from Italy, living in Sweden, professional life layered in multicultural contexts.
• [02:01] She discovered the podcast on her manager’s recommendation—her manager and colleagues were already academy alumni.
• Anna sought new tools to transition from a strong individual contributor to a recognized, trustful leader:

  "I felt stuck in my position at work. I was recognized by upper manager as an individual contributor, but not really as a leader... I needed to do something different." (Anna, 02:57)

Identifying What Was Holding Her Back

• [04:06] Anna shares that repeated feedback suggested her emotional reactions in stressful moments were undermining colleagues’ trust.
• She describes efforts to “control” emotions directly, which didn’t resolve the problem:

  “I usually let my emotion take over... instead of being me deciding, it was, I let my emotion decide for me.” (Anna, 04:06)

• Difficulties in managing this response persisted despite personal awareness and attempts at various strategies.

Breakthrough via Peer Coaching and New Approaches

• [05:51] The Academy’s real-time, peer-driven problem solving enabled Anna to gain new, actionable insight.
• Key suggestion from peers:

  “Instead of trying to control your emotion, why don't you try to understand what triggers the emotion?” (Anna, 06:25)

• The group also recommended resources like Thinking, Fast and Slow and related podcasts for self-knowledge.
• Anna began to notice her blind spots—things that seemed “obvious” in hindsight but were invisible without external feedback and trust:

  "When we get so close to something... we miss [blind spots], but then... people who trust us... it helps to surface the things we sometimes miss." (Dave, 08:03)

Practical Steps Anna Took

• [09:25] Anna details the concrete methods she used, starting with awareness of physiological signs ("my breath getting faster, my heart is pumping") as emotional triggers arose.
• Pausing to breathe was her first intervention.
• She replaced automatic, emotion-driven responses with conscious, cognitive processing—a move from what the group termed “system one” to “system two” thinking.

  "Now I need to control with my brain... being aware and processing with the brain instead of with emotional system." (Anna, 09:25)

Leadership Impact & Outcomes

• [10:17] Tangible improvements followed:
  • She was promoted, ending the period of feeling “stuck.”
  • Greater contentment with herself and her work
  • Improved collaboration and trust with colleagues

  "I have a much better collaboration with my colleagues and my peers... people see me as a trustful person that can rely on." (Anna, 10:17)

• Dave notes the change is often in perception:

  "When you address [what's in the way], then all of a sudden people see what was always there." (Dave, 10:58)

Why the Academy Was Different

• [12:43] Anna contrasts the Academy’s long-term, trust-building process with traditional short-term trainings.
• Regular check-ins and ongoing partnerships created authentic relationships, fostering the psychological safety needed for honest feedback:

  "People didn't know me and I didn't know them very well... What was different in the academy is that we had this process... we started building trust among each other." (Anna, 12:43)

• This trust enabled deeper openness and receptivity to feedback.

Change in Perspective on Diversity and Teamwork

• [14:53] Anna realized the power of diversity within groups; peers’ different styles and strengths “[became] our strength to see things from a different perspective.”
• She now values leveraging others’ strengths as essential for team effectiveness:

  "This diversity, I think, was also the strength of the group..." (Anna, 14:53)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "I was recognized as an individual contributor, but not as a leader." – Anna, 02:57
• "Instead of trying to control your emotion, why don't you try to understand what triggers the emotion?" – Anna, 06:25
• "When we get so close to something... we miss [blind spots], but then... people who trust us... it helps to surface the things we sometimes miss." – Dave, 08:03
• "I have a much better collaboration with my colleagues and my peers... people see me as a trustful person that can rely on." – Anna, 10:17
• "What was different in the academy is that we had this process... we started building trust among each other." – Anna, 12:43
• "This diversity, I think, was also the strength of the group..." – Anna, 14:53
• "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." – Dave, 16:23

Key Timestamps

• 00:59 – Anna introduces her multicultural background and current role
• 02:57 – Discussing feeling stuck and why she joined the Academy
• 04:06 – Realization about how emotions were undermining her leadership
• 06:25 – Key advice from peers about finding emotional triggers
• 09:25 – Anna explains practical steps to interrupt emotional reactions
• 10:17 – Anna describes positive leadership and career outcomes
• 12:43 – Contrasting the Academy’s approach with standard leadership training
• 14:53 – Insight on leveraging diversity in teams

Tone & Style

Dave and Anna keep the conversation warm, honest, and practical—combining personal stories with actionable lessons. Their exchange underscores the value of vulnerability, peer-supported growth, and practical wisdom for leaders seeking to move from “stuck” to successful.

Takeaway

Identifying and “stopping” self-limiting habits requires self-awareness, feedback, and a supportive trust-based community. Anna’s story exemplifies how conscious engagement with triggers, plus the right peer support structure, can create visible career and leadership transformation.