Podcast Summary: Coaching for Leaders with Dave Stachowiak

Episode Title: The Five Things That Get in Leaders’ Ways
Release Date: March 17, 2026

Episode Overview

In this solo episode of Coaching for Leaders, host Dave Stachowiak focuses on the crucial obstacles that commonly hinder leaders from continuing their growth. Drawing from years of coaching and community insights, Dave distills his framework into five specific barriers, each illustrated with real examples and actionable advice. He also highlights how the Coaching for Leaders Academy addresses these challenges and creates structures for leaders to thrive at key inflection points in their careers.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Not Asking for Help

[02:40 – 10:30]

• Personal Story: Dave recounts a formative failure early in his management career, where he mishandled a low-performing employee because he was reluctant to ask for help.

  "The reason I didn’t [ask for help], the honest reason, is I didn’t want anyone to know that I didn’t have stuff figured out… The irony is if I had asked for help, I think they would have actually respected me more." (Dave, 08:10)

• Why Leaders Don’t Ask for Help:
  • Fear of appearing incompetent (even if unfounded).
  • The “not safe” feeling, whether real or imagined.
• Advice:
  • Find a “safe person” outside your immediate organizational or industry context with whom you can be candid.
  • Leaders thrive by normalizing help-seeking behaviors, a practice built into the Academy.

2. Assuming Knowledge Drives Behavior

[10:30 – 16:38]

• The Knowledge vs. Action Gap:
  • Leaders often believe that acquiring more information results in changed actions. Dave uses learning to drive as an example: knowing the rules isn't equal to being able to drive.
  • "Sometimes the greatest enemy of behavior change is the illusion of it." (Dave, 14:15)
• Smart, ambitious leaders often have the knowledge already but lack in putting it into real-world practice.
• Advice:
  • Pause the knowledge-acquisition cycle; commit time to implement what you already know.
  • "Being the most knowledgeable person in the room is quickly not going to be enough... what will be competitive is being able to handle complex situations with people." (Dave, 16:30)
• Academy Approach: Emphasizes behavioral practice over traditional curriculum.

3. Setting the Tactical Bar Too High

[16:40 – 23:00]

• The High Achiever Trap:
  • Ambitious leaders aim high both in vision (good) and daily tactics (problematic).
  • When setting a goal (e.g., appreciating employees), trying to do it perfectly for everyone every day often leads to disappointment and quitting.
  • "When we don’t do it perfectly right out of the bat, we criticize ourselves for the things that we didn’t do..." (Dave, 21:30)
• Advice:
  • Set high standards for outcomes but keep initial tactical steps small ("Five minutes, one action, once a day, by design.")
  • "Consistency over intensity builds sustainable movement." (Dave, 23:00)

4. Feeling Worse Before Feeling Better

[23:00 – 28:40]

• Discomfort Is Progress:
  • Dave shares a story of a participant whose effort to gain a “seat at the table” initially uncovered many problems, making things feel more stressful.
  • "Something that feels worse is sometimes the best indicator that you're on the right track." (Dave, 26:10)
• Advice:
  • Expect discomfort during growth; forecast what friction you’ll likely face.
  • Seek objective outsiders to help distinguish between healthy tension and genuine problems.
• Academy Practice: Members anticipate positive and negative outcomes when committing to growth areas.

5. Not Noticing Improvement

[28:42 – 34:23]

• The Objectivity Problem:
  • Leaders are usually "the last to notice" their own improvement or areas needing work.
  • Dave compares to how children’s growth is clearer to those who see them infrequently.
  • "Nothing is more motivating than to go back and see how far you’ve already come on something." (Dave, 32:55)
• Advice:
  • Write down your starting point and vision for success.
  • Set a system to check progress regularly (e.g., every 60 days).
• Academy Structure: Leaders formally record and review their progress systematically for objectivity.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On asking for help:

  "We all know that we should ask for help, but we often don’t because it doesn’t feel safe." (Dave, 09:12)

• On the illusion of knowledge:

  "Knowledge is an essential starting point, but it’s just insufficient on its own." (Dave, 15:50)

• On sustainable change:

  "The way you make sustainable behavior change is by starting small on tactics, clearing the bar a few times, building momentum..." (Dave, 22:12)

• On progress feeling worse:

  "Feeling worse is sometimes the best indicator you’re on the right track." (Dave, 26:10)

• On reviewing your own growth:

  "We're almost always the last to notice when things are working or when they’re not." (Dave, 33:15)

Recap: The Five Things That Get in Leaders’ Ways

[34:30]

1. Not asking for help
   • Solution: Find safe, external sources for support.
2. Assuming knowledge drives behavior
   • Solution: Prioritize action and implementation over accumulating information.
3. Setting the tactical bar too high
   • Solution: Keep tactical steps small, focus on consistency.
4. Feeling worse before feeling better
   • Solution: Anticipate discomfort as a sign of progress; prepare for friction.
5. Not noticing improvement
   • Solution: Track your baseline and progress objectively, review regularly.

Final Insights and Call to Action

[36:00]

• Dave reinforces the value of stepping outside organizational silos for support and peer learning.
• He underscores the unique benefits of structured peer coaching for working through career inflection points.
• For leaders at a crossroads, Dave suggests considering the Academy as a platform for overcoming these five barriers and thriving in leadership.

Useful Timestamps

• Introduction to the five things: [02:10]
• Story: Not asking for help: [03:45]
• Knowledge vs. Behavior: [11:00]
• Setting tactical bar: [17:00]
• Feeling worse (progress story): [23:10]
• Tracking improvement: [29:00]
• Recap of the Five: [34:30]
• Closing insights: [36:00]

Tone & Style Highlight

Dave speaks with candor, humility, and warmth—acknowledging his own missteps as well as gently challenging leaders to rethink their approach to growth. The overall tone is supportive, practical, and grounded in real-world leadership challenges and triumphs.

For more resources and to apply for the Coaching for Leaders Academy, go to coachingforleaders.com/academy.