Podcast: Coaching Real Leaders
Host: Muriel Wilkins (Harvard Business Review)
Episode: Introducing: Ask Muriel Anything
Date: March 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This special episode introduces a new, interactive format called "Ask Muriel Anything." For the first time, host and executive coach Muriel Wilkins is joined by her longtime producer, Mary Dew, to answer real leadership questions submitted by listeners and community members. The episode offers practical coaching guidance on common yet challenging professional dilemmas, touching on topics such as sponsorship, co-founder dynamics, bouncing back from mistakes, and understanding team perceptions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Building Relationships with Sponsors

(03:11 – 08:11)

• What is a Sponsor?
  Muriel stresses the importance of clearly distinguishing between mentors and sponsors. "A sponsor is somebody who will advocate for you both in terms of opportunity and visibility for the purposes of advancement. Right. So it's very specific." (03:59)
• Choosing the Right Sponsor:
  • Look for those with real influence and the "juice" to move your career forward, not just someone senior you like socially.
  • “If they're not the person who has juice in the organization, meaning they don’t have influence over your advancement… they’re probably not the Right Sponsor.” (05:06)
• How to Become 'Sponsorable':
  • Deliver results and make your work visible and relevant to potential sponsors.
  • “Not everybody is sponsorable. Unfortunately, it’s not equal opportunity. I always say everyone deserves a mentor… But getting a sponsor… you have to earn the sponsorship.” (05:35)
• Making an Explicit Ask:
  • Move from mentorship to sponsorship by explicitly requesting advocacy.
  • “I really appreciate the guidance you’ve given me. It would be really helpful if you would consider being a voice for me when I’m not in the room…” (06:37)
• Proactive Approach:
  • Don’t wait for opportunities—plant the seeds for sponsorship from the very start at a new organization.

2. Addressing Co-founder Relationship Strain

(08:11 – 13:16)

• Issue:
  A co-founder feels excluded from key meetings and worries about being boxed out.
• Start with Curiosity, Not Assumptions:
  • Muriel highlights the risk of letting unconfirmed narratives take over: "The minute we start kind of running our own story or narrative around why we're not in the meeting… it starts kind of fogging us." (09:17)
• Approaching the Conversation:
  • Frame observations factually and discuss impacts without blame.
  • Sample framing: “In the past, this is the way that we used to do things… Here’s what I’m observing now… I’m just curious, what is the difference between before and now?” (10:27)
• Directness with Empathy:
  • Refrain from assuming motives and let your counterpart explain; creating space for their perspective increases the chances of a problem-solving conversation.

3. Bouncing Back from a Major Mistake

(17:25 – 26:25)

• Issue:
  A leader made a costly, public error and fears loss of credibility for themselves and their team.
• Muriel’s “Three A’s” Framework:
  1. Acknowledge – Own the mistake specifically and confidently.
     "Acknowledge what happened. You know, own it...with confidence. That's the part around coming back from it." (19:09)
  2. Apologize – Address the impact, especially on the team, not just the action.
     “What really causes a lot of strife is not necessarily the action you took. It's the impact of the action that you took.” (20:19)
  3. Action – Outline what will be done differently to prevent recurrence.
     “Here's what I'm gonna do differently next time so that this doesn't happen again.” (22:34)
• Be Explicit and Intentional:
  • The greater the impact, the more deliberate the communication should be (potentially in a team meeting).
• Addressing with the Team & the Boss:
  • With the team, focus on repair and transparency.
  • With the boss, consider what concerns them most: “You’ve got to own it as well, you know, and you can’t own it from the place of like, I’m so worried about what’s going to happen to me… You want to talk about it from the… impact on the company, on the organization. How do we course correct.” (24:10)
• Memorable quote: “Leading through the mistake, rather than letting the mistake lead you.” (23:41)

4. Understanding How You're Perceived as a Leader

(26:25 – 32:47)

• Issue:
  A leader senses their team is holding back, but is unsure how to get candid feedback on their own leadership and team perceptions.
• Start with Data, Not Vibes:
  • Muriel suggests checking if the issue is team-wide or limited to certain individuals.
  • "If it's specific individuals, then I would seek out...a few other people...and raise it with them." (27:35)
• Frame it as a Check-in, Not a Confrontation:
  • Be specific about observed behaviors that prompted the concern.
  • “The feeling is your interpretation of the actions. We don’t know if that’s what’s actually happening or not.”
• When Engaging Directly:
  • State the importance of open communication and describe the changes you’ve observed.
  • Ask for their perspective in a curious, non-judgmental way: “When I ask for your feedback or I ask for your input, I'm not getting it as readily as I used to, and I just want to understand what might be behind that.” (30:30)
• Let Them Lead the Response:
  • Avoid being defensive or pressing for reassurance.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sponsors:
  • “You have to earn the sponsorship. How do you do that? Typically, you have to do it by getting results.” – Muriel (05:36)
• On Co-founders:
  • “Nobody likes to be told why they do what they do… Let them own that and you can ask the questions to try to pull that out to really understand what their frame of reference is.” – Muriel (12:13)
• On Leadership Mistakes:
  • “People will remember what happens...where people are most impacted is the response to what happened.” – Muriel (25:05)
  • “Leading through the mistake, rather than letting the mistake lead you.” (23:41)
• On Feedback:
  • “What you don't want to do is like, particularly in this situation, push so much because you're like, I know something's there, I know something's there. You know, tell me I'm a good leader. Exactly. Because I think that'll be counterproductive.” – Muriel (31:45)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 03:11 – How to find and engage sponsors, and the mentor/sponsor distinction
• 08:11 – Managing co-founder relationship changes and approaching uncomfortable conversations
• 17:25 – Bouncing back from big mistakes as a leader: the “Three A’s”
• 26:25 – Surfacing how you’re perceived as a leader and nurturing open feedback

Episode Tone

Conversational, empathetic, and practical—Muriel and Mary provide clear, actionable guidance while maintaining warmth and candor, often infusing the discussion with good humor and encouragement.

Summary

In this "Ask Muriel Anything" launch episode, Muriel Wilkins and producer Mary Dew field real-world leadership queries with thoughtful, practical coaching wisdom. Key takeaways include distinguishing sponsorship from mentorship, approaching strained partnerships with curiosity and honesty, the “Three A’s” for recovering from mistakes, and concrete steps to uncover how your leadership is perceived. The advice is actionable for any leader eager to move past feeling stuck and into the next phase of growth.