Coaching Real Leaders: "Do I Really Want to Be CEO?"

Host: Muriel Wilkins (Harvard Business Review)
Date: December 1, 2025
Guest (Pseudonym): Chloe

Episode Overview

This episode explores a deeply personal and pivotal leadership challenge: deciding whether to embrace or step back from a CEO role. Muriel Wilkins coaches Chloe, a successful leader who unexpectedly became a business owner and is now grappling with questions about fit, capability, responsibility, and desire to lead at the highest level. Together, they delve into core motivations, fears, and practical strategies for shaping one's professional experience at the C-suite level.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chloe's Career Journey and Current Crossroads

• Background: Chloe has held leadership roles across sectors and geographies. Her most recent move, becoming company owner, was unplanned—motivated by a desire to save the business from closure and to protect employees and clients.
• Current Challenge: Now stabilized, Chloe questions whether the CEO path aligns with her aspirations and strengths. Is she doing this because she wants to, or simply because she can?

"I don't necessarily want to own a company, be the president, be the CEO... I worked in public sector and I was a fabulous cog in the wheel."
—Chloe (01:34)

2. Want vs. Can: Untangling Motivation and Imposter Feelings

• Desire vs. Ability: Muriel encourages Chloe to distinguish between wanting the role and believing she can fulfill it.
• Internal Obstacles: Chloe recognizes avoidance—posing lack of "want" as a cover for fears of inadequacy.

"The want to do it is probably my escape mechanism. I can tell myself, well, I don't really want that. And that way I don't have to figure out, can I do it..."
—Chloe (04:24)

• Responsibility and Ethical Weight: Chloe expresses anxiety over weighty obligations as CEO, feeling she carries others’ livelihoods.

3. Testing the "Want": If You Could, Would You?

• Reframing the Question: Muriel asks Chloe, if ability was guaranteed, would she want the C-suite role?
  • Chloe answers with clarity and even excitement.

"I firmly believe that a business can be run as a win-win scenario... If I really believe that I could step up and do this, well, in my mind I can see an organization that people want to work for and clients want to hire. That excites me."
—Chloe (06:14)

4. Breaking Down Perceived Obstacles

• Self-Induced Barriers: Chloe identifies procrastination and self-sabotage as recurring struggles, particularly around time management and self-discipline.
• Resourcefulness & Curiosity: Her ability to admit "I don't know" and learn or seek help is a key asset—but not yet fully directed inward.

"I have this skill set and I have this problem and I kept going at them like this and now we've just somehow managed to say, at least take your existing skill set and apply it to your existing problem and see what happens. What a novel concept."
—Chloe (28:23)

[Important Segment: Skill Application] — 13:04 to 14:37

• Chloe realizes she has not applied her signature curiosity and problem-solving to addressing her own growth areas as a leader.

5. Reimagining the CEO Role

• Personalizing Success: Muriel urges Chloe to consider what success would look like for a CEO in her position—independent of "perfection"—and to look for "non-scale victories" (small but meaningful wins on the path to growth).

"The victories don’t only need to come when you’ve hit the final success criteria... sometimes it might just be, I made it through the day with only looking at five dog videos instead of ten."
—Coach (27:16)

• Self-Coaching: Chloe is prompted to act as her own Chief Administrative Officer, designing the role and her day-to-day experience intentionally.

[Important Segment: Defining Success & Self-Leadership] — 23:33 to 25:20

6. Responsibility: Motivation or Burden?

• Dual Nature: Responsibility got Chloe into the role—it was her sense of duty when no one else stepped forward. Now, that same sense sometimes feels overwhelming.
• Reframing Responsibility: Muriel highlights it as a "two-sided coin," suggesting that Chloe can hold both the motivational and the burdensome aspects in tandem.

"My question is, what if it's not either-or? What if you did this role, holding onto this deeply held value that you have, accepting that leading in a responsible way is holding the whole coin—meaning it is both motivational and at times, heavy."
—Coach (33:34)

7. Learning to Figure It Out

• The Figuring Out Mindset: Rather than deeming herself fully equipped, Chloe resonates with the idea of being someone who “can figure it out,” matching her risk-aware but not risk-averse nature.
• Testing and Iteration: The episode closes with Chloe committing to experiment—“testing out” new ways of applying her strengths to her gaps before making a final decision about the CEO path.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Chloe naming self-doubt:
  "I am so opposed to the concept of imposter syndrome... But I also realize there's this real feeling that each of us carries that maybe I'm not good enough." (04:24)

• Clarity on motivation:
  "If you assume that you could do it, all the capabilities of being able to do this role... would you want to do it?"
  "Yeah." (05:31–05:53)

• Curiosity as a tool for leading:
  "I've just never thought of turning it inward a little bit and being curious about some of my own professional practices and processes..." (22:15)

• Responsibility reframed:
  "On the one hand, you are at times experiencing responsibility as a motivation to move forward... and on the other hand... responsibility is weighing you down..." (33:02)

• "Non-scale victories":
  "One of the things that I love in my little fitness circle is when people say, they say, oh, I have an NSV to share. And it’s called a non scale victory... And sometimes it might just be, I made it through the day with only looking at five dog videos instead of ten." (27:16)

• Chloe’s closing insight:
  "I find it very interesting that I could have such a huge blind spot internally about what's going on. And yet just having a conversation with you and having you ask some pretty pointed questions has helped me realize... there's a feasible solution." (38:36)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:34 | Chloe articulates her hesitation about the CEO role | | 04:24 | Differentiating between “want” and “can”; Imposter thoughts | | 05:31-06:14 | If you could, would you want to be CEO? | | 13:04-14:37 | Strengths: Curiosity and resourcefulness | | 23:33-25:20 | CEO as Chief Administrative Officer to self; Structure | | 27:16 | “Non-scale victories” concept | | 33:02-34:12 | Reframing “responsibility” as both burden and motivator | | 38:36 | Chloe’s realization and closing insights |

Summary—Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Distinguish between desire and perceived competence. Fears about not being “enough” in leadership often mask a deeper uncertainty about motivation.
• Apply your signature skills inward—not just to business problems, but to self-development. Strengths like curiosity and resourcefulness can unlock growth areas.
• Redefine responsibility. Valuing responsibility can propel us to act, but unchecked, it can also weigh us down. Holding both sides of the coin is more sustainable.
• Set personalized metrics for success. Celebrate small wins—“non-scale victories”—along the journey, not just end goals.
• Lead with a “figure it out” mindset. Leadership at the top doesn’t mean you have all the answers—it means you trust yourself to find them.
• Intentional role design. Take ownership of your own experience at the C level; use structure, support, and introspection to craft the job into a fit for both you and the business.

Tone & Language:
The conversation is candid, thoughtful, and often playful. Muriel uses open, nonjudgmental questions to help Chloe delve below the surface. Chloe is self-deprecating and honest, using humor and relatable metaphors (like dog rescue videos) to express her struggles.

This episode provides listeners with a front-row seat to real, vulnerable leadership coaching. Whether you’re contemplating a major career leap or wondering if the top job is really for you, Chloe and Muriel’s exchange is a masterclass in reflective decision-making, self-compassion, and practical leadership growth.