Moral of the Story

Summary

Coffee Convos Podcast – "Moral of the Story"

Date: April 24, 2025
Hosts: Kail Lowry (Teen Mom) & Lindsie Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best)
Episode Theme:
In this lively Q&A episode, Kail and Lindsie tackle a wide range of lighthearted and deeply personal topics. From nostalgic childhood memories and hilarious kid moments to challenges in co-parenting, relationships after divorce, and setting healthy boundaries, the duo offers their unfiltered thoughts, signature banter, and relatable insights. The episode’s spirit centers on self-awareness, authenticity, and drawing lessons from life’s experiences—the “moral of the story.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fictional Friends & Childhood Nostalgia

Timestamps: [01:55]–[05:43]

• Fictional Characters as Friends:
  • Lindsie would love to be friends with Meghan Markle’s character in Suits, Olivia Benson, and characters from Abby Jimenez novels.
  • Kail yearns for the simplicity and happiness of childhood, picking Junie B. Jones and Clifford the Big Red Dog—sparking a trip down memory lane.
• Cartoon Nostalgia:
  • Both reminisce about classics like Hey Arnold, Rocket Power, and Rugrats.
  • Lindsie: “Hey Arnold and Rocket Power used to be the fucking jam.” [03:30]
  • They wish more beloved childhood cartoons would be rebooted, not just random shows nobody asked for.
• Anime & Cartoon Compatibility in Dating:
  • Discussion of whether not sharing cartoon tastes means incompatibility, particularly with the divide over anime and Pokémon.

2. Funny Kid Moments & School Drop-off Realities

Timestamps: [06:24]–[09:33]

• Outrageous Things Kids Say:
  • Kail mentions, “What’s that hairy thing jiggle when you laugh?”—a kid’s hilariously unfiltered observation. [06:34]
  • Lindsie shares how her son calls her out for looking “crazy” at morning drop-off.
• Mom Appearance & Self-Care:
  • Both discuss the contrast between drop-off and pick-up looks, and how appearance ties into comfort in relationships and potential signs of depression.
  • Kail reflects: “I never want to go back to that place... there was some level of depression all along during those years.” [07:32]
  • Lindsie brings up the question: Does getting too comfortable and letting yourself go signal a relationship’s decline? “Is that the start of the death sentence?” [09:08]

3. Spicy Q&A: Sex, Relationships, and Preferences

Timestamps: [09:40]–[12:27]

• Where Would You Have Sex If You Could Get Away with It?
  • The beach, cabana, or a room with ocean views top both hosts’ lists.
  • Lindsie: “Remember that time we had cabana sex?” [10:40]
• Bedroom vs. Spontaneity:
  • Both agree that some adventurous locales are fun occasionally, but comfort and focus matter most in long-term relationships.
• Couch Sex Debate:
  • Kail: “You don’t get so wet that it’s just like a flood?”
  • Lindsie clarifies (humorously): “If I’m on top, it would just float on top of him… I’m not like laying on my back on the couch. Like I’m the one.” [12:13–12:19]

4. Parenting Dreams & Freaky Friday Fantasies

Timestamps: [12:27]–[17:20]

• Kids’ Future Careers:
  • Kail envisions: interpreter for Isaac, barber/shop owner for Lincoln, sports management for another son, unsure for her youngest.
  • Lindsie sees Jackson as a future sports broadcaster, journalist, or currently, working at Chick-fil-A or McDonald’s.
• Freaky Friday Swap:
  • Lindsie would switch with her nanny or ex-husband Will to gain insights for her own life.
  • Kail would pick someone powerful, “because when we switch back, they’re gonna collab with me because I put the bug in their ear.” [15:21]

5. “Reality Show Survival”—Swapping Roles

Timestamps: [17:20]–[18:07]

• Kail and Lindsie debate who would survive longer if they swapped the reality TV shows they originated from.
• Kail: “As a Chrisley I would never survive—Todd would’ve taken me out of the will before I turned 13.” [15:57]
• They reflect on the pressure and exposure of unscripted vs. scripted reality.

6. Real Talk: Dating After Divorce, Co-Parenting, and Boundaries

Timestamps: [19:42]–[35:40]

• Navigating Blended Families & New Relationships:
  • Lindsie shares her post-divorce dating experiences: patterns with partners who have complicated ex-wife dynamics, co-parenting challenges, and recognizing non-negotiables for her peace and her son’s stability.
  • “Grass is not always greener on the other side…at your age, whoever you end up with is going to have children, and along with that, an ex-wife or girlfriend that is a part of that child’s life.” [20:04]
• Recognizing Patterns & Drawing Lines:
  • Lindsie self-reflects: “Only sign up for things that you’re willing to sign up for… Know your breaking point and walk away at the point that you make yourself aware things will not change.” [26:52]
  • Kail agrees: “That’s why I have never really been open to dating men with children… I’ve been in tumultuous co-parenting situations. Why would I want someone else to bring that in?” [26:15]
  • Both discuss prioritizing their own peace and their children’s well-being over external chaos from others’ unresolved co-parenting drama.
• Self-Awareness and Personal Growth:
  • Lindsie talks about therapy, pattern recognition (like “relationship jumping”), and the hard choices of loving people versus protecting her own peace.
  • “One of the hardest things that you will ever do in your lifetime is leave someone that you’re still in love with.” [34:25]

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7. Listener Questions: In-Laws, Substitutes, and More

Timestamps: [35:42]–[40:20]

• In-Law Dynamics:
  • How to handle in-laws who don’t dislike you but aren’t openly welcoming.
  • Kail: “Don’t tell your family things you don’t want them to hold a grudge about…everybody else is not moving on because they are not connected to that person in the way that you are.” [37:53]
• Hitting on the Sub:
  • Advice to a mom asking about approaching her child’s substitute teacher.
  • Both: Do NOT send notes via your child; find them on social media or use the class app instead.

8. Prom Talk & Parenting Teens

Timestamps: [40:28]–[44:43]

• Isaac (Kail’s son) is going to junior prom as a freshman, sparking a discussion about prom norms and financial sanity.
• Both express that prom should be for seniors only; Lindsie recalls, “The amount of money people spend on prom is crazy.” [42:12]
• For boys, the process is simpler (tux over dress/hair/makeup dramas), and Kail plans to buy, not rent, the tux for practical reasons.

9. Foul Play: Gross and Mortifying Moments

Timestamps: [44:46]–[48:36]

• Listener stories about bathroom mishaps:
  • Walking in on a teacher mid-wipe at school (“Why was she examining the toilet paper?” [45:39])
  • Getting violently sick in a hospital waiting room, with unfortunately vivid detail.
• Kail and Lindsie giggle over the horror and commiserate about IBS, neurovirus, and the special misery of “both ends” sickness.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Morning School Drop-off:
  • Lindsie: “I look like I am the most well put together at pickup time. I look like an absolute train wreck at drop off.” [07:14]
• On Setting Boundaries in Dating:
  • Lindsie: “If I’m not bringing those things to the table, I don’t want to accept someone else who is bringing those things.” [26:40]
  • Kail: “It’s never about the kids. It’s about the parents.” [29:55]
• On In-Laws and Family Drama:
  • Kail: “Don’t tell your family things you don’t want them to hold a grudge about…You might move on, but they’re not moving on.” [37:53]
• Couch Sex Debate:
  • Kail: “You don’t get so wet that it’s just like a flood?” [12:13]
  • Lindsie: “I’m a rider. Ride or die, right on the couch.” [12:19–12:21]
• On Leaving Relationships:
  • Lindsie: “One of the hardest things that you will ever do in your lifetime is leave someone that you’re still in love with.” [34:25]

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Structure & Flow

• Trademark banter and supportive candor between Lindsie and Kail.
• Questions covering everything from fun hypotheticals to deep dives into relationship health.
• Raw discussions around boundaries, co-parenting, and self-growth—balanced by humor and nostalgia.
• Advice for listeners based on the hosts’ own lived experience.
• Ends with “foul play” stories and light-hearted confessions.

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For New Listeners

This episode is rich in both laughs and genuine self-reflection. Expect lively, unfiltered talk between two reality-star moms who aren’t afraid to get real about parenting, relationships, love, boundaries, and the messy but rewarding process of figuring out life’s “moral of the story.”

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

I hate gift giving and receiving.

[D]

Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you.

[C]

This is Coffee Convos with KL Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels. Kale.

[D]

That does not interest me whatsoever.

[C]

I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore.

[D]

There's a fakery bakery around here.

[C]

Here's Kaylin Lindsay, Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Convo's podcast where we talk.

[D]

All we do is talk.

[C]

Yeah. So our bonus episode from this past week, we were running through Q and A and we still have some left to do and I was having a great deal of fun, so we're going to jump right in. I would love to know if you could have any fictional character as a friend, who would it be and why?

[D]

Any fictional character from like a movie or a show or a book. Like, yeah, I would be friends with. Wow. I don't know. There's just too many books that I've read that I'm like, wow, I really love that person. Also from a show. I would be friends with Megan Markle, who is in Suits. I would be friends with Olivia Benson, and I would also be friends with any of the Abby Jimenez characters in any of her books.

[C]

See, I'm thinking, like, things from my childhood where I was probably, like, the happiest in my life, like Junie B. Jones and Clifford.

[D]

Oh, okay. So we're going real. Real fictional. Got it. Like, I love that.

[C]

Clifford, the big red dog.

[D]

Okay, Clifford. Did you see, like, the. What is it called? Like, the life. The. More, like, lifelike. Yeah, my kid. I took my kids to see that when it came out. Characters from, like, shows that I've watched. Oh, my gosh. Anybody from Rocket Power? Hey, Arnold.

[C]

You know what? Someone. Wait, listen. Hey, Arnold and Rocket Power used to be the fucking jam.

[D]

Oh, my God. Rocket Power. Hey, Arnold. My two favorite. I would say, hey, Arnold. First, also, the Rugrats were big for me. And then I also would have been friends with Mary Kate and Ashley from Two of a Kind. Like, during that era of Mary Kate and Ashley. Also, look what Heather Loh Meyer sent me.

[C]

What is that? Oh, we'll solve any crime by dinnertime. Yes, in fact, we will. Were we Helga Pataki?

[D]

I was not Helga Pataki, but I do. Well, Helga Pataki. If I could read her character now as an adult, I would say that she's very cold and guarded and probably sort of like a bully because of her internal things that she's struggling with her home life. But she truly was at the core of her being a lover girl. And I. I feel like I can identify with that.

[C]

I could definitely identify with that. I felt like she was, like, a little bit shy in her, like, real personality, but it came across as, like, mean and a bully because she didn't know how to outwardly express her feelings.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

So I very much relate to Helga Pataki. I. I loved. Hey, Arnold. Hey, move it, football head. Hey, Arnold.

[D]

I wish they would reboot. They're spending so much time and efforts and money rebooting shows that we didn't ask for. And I wish they would rebo boot cartoons that we grew up on, because we need to bring cartoons back for the kids 1000%.

[C]

Okay. Do you think that it. The saying is true if you didn't watch the same cartoons, then you shouldn't be together?

[D]

Well, I never watched anime, and a lot of the men that I've dated were big with anime.

[C]

But isn't that a fetish?

[D]

It can be.

[C]

Like, what even is anime?

[D]

It's like, Yu Gi.

[C]

Oh, people.

[D]

No, I think it's more like Like I think of anime and I think of like Yu Gi. Oh. Or like Pokemon.

[C]

Okay, okay. I mean. Oh wait. You know, a show that I was really, really invested in. Inspector Gadget.

[D]

I don't know if I ever saw that.

[C]

Oh my gosh. They were solving all these crimes and stuff. I've crime junkie since before it was cool to be a crime junkie.

[D]

100 I used to get high at my 13 year old self would be smoking weed and going to watch CSI in my bed.

[C]

Wait, 13 year old Kale with smoking weed? Yeah, ma'. Am.

[D]

Getting higher than a kite. Eating pizza rolls and ice cream.

[C]

Okay, great topic to discuss. Are we pizza rolls or are we bagel bites?

[D]

Both, but more so. More so. Tostitos pizza rolls. But. But I will up some bagel bites and my kids love both too.

[C]

It just depends on the mood, right? Like do I want something that is like inside or do I want something that's like outside?

[D]

Outside. I. I tend to burn my mouth on both so it could go either way.

[C]

Okay, next question. What's the most wild things that your kids have said to you? I can think of one that your kid said to you.

[D]

Which one?

[C]

The one that said what's that hairy thing moving?

[D]

What is that hairy thing? Jiggle when you laugh.

[C]

Okay, I will tell you. Jackson doesn't like really say that many out of pocket things to me other than last week. He was like, mom, you look crazy when you take me to school.

[D]

You. We have to somehow figure out what is the balance between like this. I think that so many moms and sometimes we don't get ready right. But like when we're dropping them off in the morning is a completely different person than who we are when we pick them up.

[C]

10, 20%. Like I look like I am the most well put together at pickup time. I look like an absolute train wreck at drop off.

[D]

Mm mm.

[C]

Where do you bridge the gap? You know.

[D]

Sometimes I'll throw a hat on these days. I. It's crazy that you brought this up because I noticed that I don't know if I said this like within the last week or so, but I. A lot of teen mom clips will resurface on my tick tock. And I look back at some eras of my life and I'm talking like years of like two years or three years where I looked crazy all the time. I put no efforts into how I looked my hair, my makeup at all. Like it was in a bun all the time. And I maybe wore makeup or maybe didn't and I think back to that and I'm like, I never want to go back to that place. And I think that there was some level of depression all along during those years, but I never want to go back there. And so I do my best. Even if I don't have my hair and makeup done, at least have it semi put together, like slick down or put a hat on or something where I'm not looking completely diabolical. But I. I try to at least look a little bit put together.

[C]

See, I kind of miss those days of life. I can remember back when I was a stay at home mom and I felt like I really thrived in the high bun situation. Like, I always did my skincare, always brush my teeth, always had on clean clothes, was always showered. But I think that that was just such a comfortable part of my life. And I think I was so comfortable in my relationship that it didn't matter. But then that brings me to another topic. When you get to a point of comfortability in your relationship and you stop putting yourself together, do you think that that is the start of the death sentence?

[D]

Yes, that's the start of the death sentence.

[C]

I mean, I think that there's times where you can just be having like a relaxing Saturday and you're not putting yourself together and you might be doing like house chores or whatever. I think that is perfectly fine. But at the point that you stop putting yourself together to be presentable for yourself and someone else, that is the sign that you are phasing out of that.

[D]

Yeah, I just am, like, trying to be more intentional.

[C]

Next question. If you could have sex anywhere and get away with it, where would it be?

[D]

If we could have sex anywhere.

[C]

Yeah. And you can get away with it, where would you do it?

[D]

I know this is kind of cliche and boring, but I would like to have sex on a beach.

[C]

I was just about to say that. Sex.

[D]

I'm not a romantic type, but I feel like with the right circumstances and it being like hot and heavy passion, I would like to have sex, like in. Or like, if there's. I don't know if you guys have ever been to Puerto Rico, but there is one of the Ritz Carlton in Puerto Rico has, like. And even when I was in Turks, the room, like, went out onto like an area close to the beach. Like, even if it was like on the patio facing the beach. Like, I think I would like that too.

[C]

I'm thinking, like cabana sex.

[D]

Ooh. Ooh. That would be fun. That would be so much fun. Like, just like Hot and heavy. Just. Yeah, I love that.

[C]

I feel like that would be such a thrill and something that I think you would carry with you for the rest of your life. Like, remember that time we had cabana sex?

[D]

100, you know, love that. You'll never forget it.

[C]

Okay, but are we the type of people that prefer on a regular basis to have sex in your bedroom, like in your super cozy, comfortable space, or we like a spice it up on the kitchen counter?

[D]

I think the kitchen counter is okay. Like here and there, like maybe like in the beginning of a relationship or like literally on a whim. But I do think that, like, as time goes on, it's just not as pleasurable. Like I can't focus to get off on a kitchen counter.

[C]

I think that that goes to the adhd. Honestly.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Because if I'm in my bed, there's way more chances that that's going to happen than doing it in a laundry room or on the kitchen counter or on the couch. I still can't get over. Remember when you said that you liked couch sex?

[D]

Yeah, I do like couch. Couch and bed. But a counter, probably not.

[C]

And I asked you, is there like anything like on the couch when you get up from having couch sex?

[D]

No. No, never.

[C]

A lot of people responded to that and was like, yeah, I'm with Lindsay. I would have to put down like a towel or something. Like, you don't get so wet that it's just like a flood.

[D]

But if I'm on top, it would just float on top of him.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Like I'm not like laying on my back on the couch. Like I'm the one.

[C]

Okay, you're a rider?

[D]

Yeah. Ryder. Ride or die, right on the couch.

[C]

Okay. If you could choose each of your kids future professions, what would they be?

[D]

If I could choose. Okay. And I'm not big on something like this, but because I just want my kids to be like, I want whatever they do, I want them to be happy. But if I could choose for them, I know that Isaac wants to be interpreter. I think that a government or some sort of law position with interpreting would be big because there's job security in that. Some sort of like maybe embassy or government position as an interpreter. Lincoln, I think he could own a really fucking cool barber shop and be a really cool barber. I also could see him doing some sort of sports management with like an NFL team or like a trainer, like in sports. Sports management. Lux, I could see also probably sort of following in the same footsteps there. Creed, I'm not sure yet. I I don't have anything in mind for him yet because he's. I think he's still trying to figure out what his strengths are. He's so smart that I just. I'll be curious to see what he does do. Same for Rio and the younger ones. Like, I'm just not creeds only four, so I feel like I'm not sure. But for the older three, that's what I would. I would say.

[C]

Okay. I would say some type of like sports broadcaster for Jackson.

[D]

Yeah, I could see that.

[C]

He can talk about sports for hours on end and never get tired of the conversation.

[D]

Like ESPN type of journalist or like host, anchor or something like that. I could totally see that.

[C]

And he is such a professional talker at his age that I think he would just slide right into that so easily. Currently he either wants to work at Chick fil A or McDonald's.

[D]

Oh, I love that. Okay. Love that. Well, if he picks Chick Fil A.

[C]

They are guaranteed off on Sundays and he hates that. Chick Fil A is closed on Sundays.

[D]

My kids also hate that. That's. I love it. I'm not a big Chick Fil a person, so that's fine with me.

[C]

Okay, next question. If you both had a Freaky Friday moment, what would each of you do?

[D]

Freaky Friday moment where you're like, you switched places basically, and you're in some somebody else's life.

[C]

Isn't that what it. Is that what the movie's about?

[D]

Yeah, she like switches places with her mom.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

So she's like living her mom's life and then her mom is living her life. I don't want to ever be in a teenage boys or like a. A boy child's life. So that would never be me. I think I would switch probably with like, I would switch with someone really powerful because then when we switch back, they're gonna collab with me because I put the bug in their ear. So I'm thinking about what is going to be best for when we switch back.

[C]

See, I. I would probably switch with one of these two people. My nanny or Will.

[D]

Why Will?

[C]

Because I feel like I would just know so much to be able to navigate so much when I came back. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, I could see that.

[C]

And so I just think that it would help certain situations.

[D]

Well, I think we both have the same mentality about who we're switching with.

[C]

Then if you had to swap the reality shows you both started on, who would survive the longest? What does that even mean, survive as.

[D]

A Chrisley I would never survive as a Todd would have taken me out of the will and cut me off before I even turned 13.

[C]

1000%. I don't know that I would be built for a show like you were on.

[D]

I mean, look at Bristol Palin. I think non politically speaking. Okay, so I'm not speaking from a political standpoint when I say this. I'm think I'm speaking from a place of your families and. And. And the standards that Yalls families have and the way that you guys were built and not slandering the name and not, you know, Bristol Palin had one season and was like, I'm not doing this. This is not how I want to be showed. This is not how I want to be portrayed. And I feel like you would have the same sor.

[C]

I agree with that. And I think that when you are on a docu series, is that what y' all were considering? The filming is just so different and there's not a lot of opportunities to hide things because I feel like Yalls production did do a really great job of getting all of the true parts of the story out, even if they were ugly. And I would argue that Chris Leno's best was more of a scripted docu series. And so there's a lot more room there for not everything to be out there.

[D]

I just think too like shows like what I was on, you have to be. And I don't mean this in a negative way, but I had nothing to lose, and I was so desperate that I didn't. I needed to do whatever it was going to take to make it and to be able to provide for myself and my son and then sons. So for me, it me going on as long as I did and putting all the things out there for as long as I did and as often as I did and how in depth it went was a lot of it was started not always, not towards the end, but started out of pure desperation. And I think you guys had an opportunity that was presented to you or that your dad went and sought out whatever that looked like. And so we started on very different feet.

[C]

And also, I wasn't a teen parent, so I don't know what that feels like. Like, I was allowed to be a child for as long as I was a child, and then I became a parent. So I don't know what those struggles would look like because I never experienced it. Okay, next question. Pull out your phones and read your last text message.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

I said, do you want to come with us?

[C]

That's what you said, do you want.

[D]

To come with us?

[C]

Okay. My last text message, it was a conversation with Will, and he said, what's Jackson's croc size? And I said, he's been wearing a four.

[D]

Oh. So neither one of ours is fun.

[C]

It's not spicy.

[D]

No, the text before that.

[C]

The text before that was an uncircumcised dick pic.

[D]

Mine was, are you against the Ritz Carlton? To which the response was, what the is Ritz Carlton?

[C]

Who doesn't know who. What the Ritz is? Everybody knows.

[D]

For our summer trip to.

[C]

Are we going on a summer trip?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Which, by the way, I'm so excited to see you in New York.

[D]

I'm so excited.

[C]

Short lived, but I'm still excited.

[D]

I'm still excited. So we're gonna make it. We're gonna. We're gonna make the best of it.

[C]

Remember the last time we were in New York City together and we got tattoos?

[D]

Oh, yeah. I love that. Yeah. You know what? We're gonna do something different every time we go to New York. I think we don't have to get tattoos every time, but I think that we should do something.

[C]

Well, Will told me at the rate that I'm getting tattoos, that I'm gonna have a full sleeve next year.

[D]

You're gonna look just like me and everyone's gonna be pissed.

[C]

Yes. They'll be very upset. Okay. So I talked to Kristen at length this morning about some stuff that I have been navigating through. And I said, I just need to talk to Kale. And I also feel like I need to be honest because a lot of things that I have gone through post divorce is so relatable to the people that would be listening to this. My nanny told me before I ever even filed for divorce Wednesday. Heed my warning. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Chances are, at your age, whoever you end up with is going to be somebody that has children. And along with that, they're likely going to have an ex wife or an ex girlfriend that is a part of that child's life. And these are going to be things that you have to navigate. Right.

[D]

All truth.

[C]

So as I'm laying in my bed last night, could not sleep, I started writing myself a letter. And in that letter, I went through each situation that I have been in post divorce to try to find, like, the common trends of those situations and why they have not been able to work.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

The first one, which was Suburban Dad, I wrote, I dated someone who cheated on his ex wife. Ultimately Ended up cheating on me. But they had a pretty normal co parenting relationship. Like, she was a good mom, he was there for his kids. The kid situation wasn't an issue.

[D]

Okay, Okay.

[C]

I could coexist with his ex wife. Actually, his ex wife and one of her family members were who alerted me of the cheating.

[D]

So they say you lose them how you get them, whether it you knew about it or not.

[C]

So I was like, okay, well, the kids weren't the issue in that situation. The ex wife wasn't the issue in that situation. The cheating and the lying and the deceiving was ultimately what ended that relationship.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

The next one was, Trent dated someone whose ex wife came from generational wealth. He was a teacher, feared his ex wife and her family despite poor. Despite her poor life decisions and lack of ability to make ends meet for her kids. She was a pain in the ass with everything she could be. But respect can be given because she did leave that situation and did not expect anything from him.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

So regardless of the wrenches that she threw into our situation, she didn't expect anything financial from him.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

And people can say, oh, well, it's because she came from generational wealth. Well, that could be true, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she had full access to that generational wealth. Right, right, right. I couldn't stay in that situation knowing that. And I know this is not everybody's situation, but me divorcing Will, regardless of our small little spats that we've had along the way, they're so short lived, I don't even count them because they are so short lived. And we always make the decision not based off of his opinion or my opinion, but what is the common ground? The common ground that we have is Jackson at this point.

[D]

I mean, that's what you and I were just discussing about me and Javi, is that regardless of the little spats, and I will say agree with you in that grand scheme of things, every single time you and Will have argued about whatever it may be in the grand scheme of things, they're little.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And I would say the same about me and Javi.

[C]

Like, when you look back on them, they felt maybe big at the time that you were going through it. But when you look at this situation as a whole, the arguments didn't mean a hill of beans or didn't move a needle either way. Right. So when I look at my situation, I feel like I have an obligation to myself, to Jackson and to Will, for me not to sign up for something that's going to cause any type of further chaos in our collective lives. So ultimately that relationship ended. I'm currently seeing somebody that wants his child. 50 50. I have watched the obstacles be thrown up over the last couple of weeks. There have been situations that I have been privy to that deals with another co parenting relationship that I have never and hopefully can say will never navigate some of those same waters. So as a 35 year old with a 12 year old, I'm having a very difficult time allowing that situation in to my life because I feel like I have worked very hard to be in a home, which is my place of peace. I have worked very hard with Will to establish a friendship outside of a marriage. I have worked very hard collectively with Will to give Jackson the best, most productive life.

[D]

So to allow someone else's co parenting situation to seep into your relationship for whatever limited time you're able to spend with that person would be problematic. I could imagine.

[C]

It's very problematic. And it's very hard to know that, okay, I have love for this person, I have love for this person's child, but I also have to look at my situation and say, this is my life too. And if I'm not bringing those things to the table, I don't want to accept someone else who are who is bringing those things to the table. Because likely patterns of behavior over extended periods of time. If that is a consistent pattern, chances are that's going to stay a consistent pattern. It's not going to change.

[D]

Yeah, I completely hear what you're saying and I would agree that's part of the reason why I have never really been open to dating men with children. Because I know how tumultuous it can be. And I've been in tumultuous co parenting situations or I've been in situations where we're, you know, maybe even sleeping together. So why would I want someone else to bring that into it?

[C]

And I think that's where it gets so sticky. Because you can have love for someone or be in love with someone and not want something for your life.

[D]

Mm. Both can be true.

[C]

I agree. I literally sent that in a text message. I said both things can be true. So I wrote myself. Moral of the story is only sign up for things that you're willing to sign up for. Know your breaking point and walk away at the point that you make yourself aware that things will not change. I have an easy co parenting relationship despite our stupid small disagreements. But we always come together when making cohesive decisions for our minor child. Never do we ever when it comes to him, let pride or ego trump the betterment of him. If that's something. If nothing that I can hang my hat on.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And so I just look at myself and I'm like, okay, at if I never have another child at 35 years old, my child's 12. In six years, he will be out of school. He will be considered a grown adult. Do I believe 18 years old is a grown adult?

[D]

No.

[C]

That's another conversation. Yeah, but I'm 35 now, in my 40s. I will have a grown child. I can't imagine taking on someone else's stuff and navigating those waters for the rest of my child's childhood.

[D]

I. And I fully understand that. I wholeheartedly understand and tend to agree with you. And people can say what they want about it. And some people will probably argue that, oh, well, you have to decide what life that you would live with them. Do you want your life without them? Is it worth going through all of that to have your life with them? For me, the answer will always be no.

[C]

So that's where I was going with the next part of what I wanted to talk to you about, that you said you would never date a man with kids. And I think that that is one thing. If nothing that you've stuck by that you have done.

[D]

I have stuck by that. Like, I change a lot of decisions. Like I change my underwear, which is sometimes multiple times a day. But that one thing has always remained true.

[C]

I have only dated people post divorce that have children. But the common factor in the situations is that I have now been able to look at what I want my life to look like and what my life does currently look like. And that doesn't involve problems for people that I didn't sign up for.

[D]

And it has nothing to do with the kids. Right. Like, I think a lot of times people miss. Just twist up my words or what I'm trying to say because I don't always articulate what I'm. What I'm trying to say. It's never about the kids. Not because I don't want to be involved in someone else's kids lives. Right. Like, it's about the parents. And I don't. That's why it doesn't offend me in any way, shape or form. If someone's like, I would never bother with Kale. She's got too many kids, too many, too many baby daddies. Okay. That doesn't offend me in any way, shape, or form because I understand.

[C]

I can agree with that and so now I'm kind of at the same place as you are. If this situation doesn't work out, then I am drawing a line in the sand now to say I can actually only see you person I'm dating around my co parenting schedule. We're gonna run a 2, 2, 5.

[D]

We're gonna run a 2, 2,. I'll see you when I don't have my kids. I'll see you. You know. Yeah, no, and I fully get that. And I, I hate that it has to be that way. And you know, it's just one of those things because I, I've asked people in my life, you know, when you have a parent that you know, gets divorced and then they, you know, maybe remarry or get into a relationship later on in life, that's not their stepdad or their stepmom, that's mom's husband or dad's wife. Those are not my step siblings. Those are, that's my mom's husband's kids. You know what I mean? It changes the dynamic a lot. But for preservation of my, you know, my kids childhood and also being traumatized, I think I've done enough of that. So I think moving forward, like aligned with you there.

[C]

I also find it to be very interesting as I'm literally dumping stuff on my phone from my brain that's not stopping all night. Will has only dated women who have not had children and that has not been successful either.

[D]

Interesting.

[C]

So like he went one way and I went the opposite way and we both have had very different issues, but none have worked out.

[D]

Interesting. Wait, that is so interesting. So the women that he has dated that don't have children, I would imagine they probably want children and they have not worked out because Will doesn't want any more children.

[C]

Correct.

[D]

It's interesting because if we're all relatively the same age within five years of each other, the women that don't have kids, but the men that do, I.

[C]

Mean I feel like the people that he is, he has dated specifically have been very career focused people and I respect that. You know, I'm not settling down and doing this until I am ready to do it. And I co sign that all day long, have great deal of respect for them.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

The men that I have been with have all been in past marriage situations that were long term, what I would consider long term marriages close to decades.

[D]

Interesting.

[C]

Interesting. I've never been with someone that was like not previously married or never even thought about. Like when I tell you, never even been a thought to Date somebody without a child ever. Like, person would not even be on my radar. But now, you know, I think if this situation doesn't work, I'm gonna take the summer and travel with Jackson.

[D]

I love that. I love that so much, I think.

[C]

And I've had to have conversations in therapy. I think relationship jumping can become a part of our personality. Right. Because you feel the need or want to be with somebody because you want your person, you want your partner, you want your friend. And I think that can become a toxic pattern. I don't want to participate in that. Yeah, like, let me sit on this for a little bit. These situations didn't work. I need to self identify further on. Maybe what I brought to the table that made it not work. And truly, is it a part of my personality where I'm just like, I don't want to deal with anybody shit.

[D]

That's kind of where I am, you know, I don't. Because, you know, I do think that some people, it's hard to face the music and recognize, like, what we bring to the issues at the table, what we contribute. And like, if you sit on it for a while, you know, you. You can really reflect in a real way. And so that makes sense to me.

[C]

So I just think it's going to be a therapeutic summer that's going to be great. But it's so hard to love someone and make that choice.

[D]

One of the hardest things that you will ever do in your lifetime is leave someone that you're still in love with. Or Becky told me today, she said one of the hardest things you can do is stay in a relationship where there have been things that you should have walked away from, but you chose to work it out. That's also one of the harder things that you'll do. So deciding which one you can live with yourself, choosing.

[C]

Well, and I think that as much as I. I mean, I'm now publicly admitting it, as much as I don't want it to be the case, I think I'm very solid in my decision to say, okay, I didn't sign up for anybody's ex spouse. My ex spouse doesn't bring that to the table.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Like, you don't understand. You don't have to deal with that. And that's not something that I personally signed up for. I personally signed up for Will and whatever he brings, but he's not bringing any.

[D]

Not to your relationship. Anything that you deal with is, you know, you keep it between you two. And sometimes the podcast, but that doesn't. That shouldn't affect your relationship because you're not bringing it into the, you're not allowing it to seep into the relationship where those lines can get you easily blurred. Right. Like you're not bringing that to the table.

[C]

I agree.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

We have two listener topics that I want to be able to get to.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

It says talk about in laws. How do you guys handle in laws that don't necessarily hate you but don't really like you? Literally from no fault of my own. And it has been confirmed that basically because I took her little boy and won't say yes to everything she wants when it comes to me and my fiance, her son and our kids.

[D]

Okay. Food for thought because it's happened to me is husband slash spouse slash boyfriend, whatever. Having side conversations with his mother, complaining about the spouse because that can play a role. And maybe it's just venting or maybe it's just one thing here and there that he's like expressing to her that will change the entire way your mother in law looks at you.

[C]

I agree. And I think and you and I can speak to this not because we've dealt with being in laws, but I think as moms of boys that another woman coming into their life despite whatever age they are, is somewhat of a shock on the heart. You know it's going to happen. You can predict it happening.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But it doesn't change the feeling of knowing, like, hey, I once for a very long time was the apple of his eye. I was the first girl that any will or his brothers had ever brought home. So I dealt with a brunt of all the firsts. And what I love about the situation is I don't love that I was the girl who dealt with the brunt of it. But his mother grew so much in the future relationships that she wasn't presenting what I dealt with early on. Right. So they didn't have to experience it.

[D]

Yeah. Which is a blessing and a curse. But you know, that does sort of, it can set the tone for the dynamic of the relationship.

[C]

I also agree that boys tend to vent to their mothers because for most that has always been a safe place. But my nanny gave me some great advice in life. Don't tell your family members things that you don't want them to hold a grudge about because you might forgive and forget it. And then you move on and you expect everybody else to move on. Everybody else is not moving on because they are not connected to that person that you were telling them about in the way that you are.

[D]

And even though they say it doesn't bother them, or the son thinks it doesn't bother their mom. It very much does. And it will shift the way they look at their spouse. I promise you, I've gone through it. It doesn't matter if, you know, you feel, you know, he feels like it's not going to affect or, or impact long term. 1,000% it will. 1,000%.

[C]

They hold on to that like a little Easter egg.

[D]

Not the Easter egg.

[C]

Okay, next person says, let's see if I can get some group input here. Is there an appropriate way for me to hit on my daughter's second grade substitute teacher? First of all, I thought this person was asking, can they like, hit their child? And I'm like, no, you cannot. The advice I've gotten so far is send my daughter to school with a note for him, but I don't know about that.

[D]

I'm not recommending that.

[C]

I would say, how often does this guy a sub?

[D]

Yeah, maybe it's a long term sub. Maybe I would just say something to the teacher, message the teacher on the app and say, is that guy single? You know what I mean? Like, just have them put in a.

[C]

Good word for you, find his name and find him on social media.

[D]

Yeah. 100.

[C]

You know, I feel like sending a note through a possible school backpack is very risky behavior.

[D]

Yeah. You don't know where it's gonna end up. And the last thing you need is for it to get into the wrong hands. So my suggestion would be no.

[C]

And does that, like, change the dynamic if the guy's not interested and now he has like this paper copy of this note that was sent by your daughter.

[D]

Yeah, I'm not with you.

[C]

I'm, I'm not with it either. I'm like, find him on Insta. Ma'.

[D]

Am. Ask the gym teacher to put in a good word.

[C]

The gym teacher to put in a good word. Well, what do you have coming up for the rest of the week?

[D]

Rest of the week, we're going tuck shopping. Isaac was asked to prom by a junior. So my little freshie is going to junior prom, and so we're gonna go tuck shopping. And then that's. That's the biggest, most exciting thing that's happening this week.

[C]

Can we talk about junior senior prom just for a second? Because I want to know the parents that are listening to this that have kids that are that age. Are you letting your freshman go to junior senior prom if they've been asked? Because I was not allowed. My parents had the rule that, that, that was reserved for Juniors and seniors. And a freshman should not be going.

[D]

That's one way to look at it. That didn't really cross my mind because Isaac was in the play. A lot of the juniors and seniors were in the play. So he's already sort of interconnected with them from that. He's also in debate club. So the day of prom, he has a debate competition and prom in the same day. And so I don't know. I just. Isaac's on high honor roll. I just didn't really cross my mind to even think about whether he could go or not. I just said yes. But to your point, I don't. And unpopular opinion. I don't think there should be a junior prom at all. I think that prom should be reserved for seniors only. That is part of the call. The. It's part of the high school experience. And for me, I think that prom should only be for seniors. I went to Joe's senior prom when I was in high school. I was. I was a junior, and he was a senior, and I went to. And he went to a different high school than me. I never went to my own prom. So that was the only experience I had. I also think that prom is wildly overrated.

[C]

The amount of money that people spend on prom is crazy. Like, the intricate dresses, the professional hair, the professional makeup, the professional photographers, the dinners that they're allowing their kids to go to. And I say this because my parents allowed it. Right. So I can speak from experience of doing this that some people are spending thousands of dollars. And it used to be a thing to get, like, a Hummer limousine.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, remember that time?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm just like. I don't know. I want Jackson to be able to have things and experiences, but I also want him to be realistic about life. And I think spending thousands of dollars to do a prom situation. I would rather see him invite a friend on a trip.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, we're not spending thousands. We are not spending thousands. He's not getting a limo. He's not getting the thousands of dollars in stuff. It's like we made two appointments for Friday to go shopping for tuxes at two different places. Hope to find one. And then we'll figure out, like, a car situation or, like, what the group of friends is doing, but we're not spending thousands. Not happening.

[C]

But as a boy, Mom, I feel like it is a lot easier than girls.

[D]

Yeah. Because we're not doing the hair, the makeup, the dress, the shoes, the. You know, all of it for boys. I think it's very.

[C]

For Boys, it's like you're renting a tux, right?

[D]

Well, we're gonna buy ours.

[C]

Oh, you're buying it?

[D]

Yeah, because you just. Isaac could, if he wanted to, could pass it down to his brothers or he might be able to use it for like another time if we go to a wedding or something.

[C]

So, I mean, that makes sense to me. I remember back when I was in high school, I feel like all the guys rented tuxes from a place, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And all the girls were out getting hundreds of dollars of dresses. But those were being purchased, right?

[D]

Yeah. You don't rent them now. Now they have more rental options. But if you get it tailored or you go to a seamstress, you can't send that back. She better hope it fits you like a glove.

[C]

I'm just glad that I have a boy.

[D]

I have six of them. So that same, that same suit can get passed down to every last one of them.

[C]

It's going to rotate.

[D]

Imagine.

[C]

On that note, we have foul play.

[D]

Okay, Foul play. Every Friday I volunteer at my daughter's school, following my routine of leaving work and heading straight there. Part of this routine includes a quick stop at the staff bathroom. One particular Friday, as usual, I knocked on the bathroom door and hearing no response, I opened it. To my utter horror, I found a teacher midwipe, examining the toilet paper. Shocked and embarrassed, I stammered an apology, slammed the door shut and rushed to my daughter's class, my face burning. Minutes later, the teacher red face chafed after me and said I had to see who it was. She said breathlessly, it's my fault. I didn't lock the door. Okay? Now every time I see her in the hallways, I'm convinced my embarrassment is greater than hers. Despite her polite smiles, that single awkward incident turned my routine into a silent laugh track of cringe worthy moments. Why was she examining the toilet paper and, and said she had to see who it was?

[C]

I mean, I feel like, did she.

[D]

Mean to say I need to see what it was? Because why are you examining toilet paper?

[C]

Well, I mean, I feel like, you know, we don't know the age of this person, but could a possible like illness be a concern of why she would be looking at it? Like, is there any blood in my stool?

[D]

Like I don't even, like I would feel the exact same way and never look at that teacher the same.

[C]

Like, is it mucus lined? Is it, you know, like maybe you just need to know, do I have a healthy.

[D]

I'll tell you what wasn't healthy. When I my pants Last week, nothing.

[C]

About that was healthy. I just Hope that your IBS subsides at some point.

[D]

Yeah, hopefully before I turn 60.

[C]

Well, the good news is, since you want to pass away at 60 years old, it won't matter after that point period.

[D]

I'll let you know how prenuvo mri, full body scan goes. Okay.

[C]

Okay. Next. When I was a young newlywed, I got sick with a stomach bug. I threw up so much that my then husband got worried and took me to the clinic on base. So I was weak and dizzy from being sick over and over that I passed out as soon as we got into the building. I don't remember all of what happened, but he told me later, apparently I lost control of my bowels right there in the waiting room and started to hurl at the same time. Listen. And puking at the same time is the worst thing. Like, the worst thing in the world. I just actually did that. A few nurses came to help me get. Get me to the bathroom. I vaguely remember sitting on the toilet. Well, everything started coming out from both ends again. And I fainted again, falling off the toilet with my pants around my ankles. I kind of came to and they were trying to clean me up, and I remember a new nurse coming into the bathroom saying, Jesus Christ. Christ. It must have smelled really bad because they got me sort of dressed into the room. I could hear someone in the waiting room saying, my God, that's foul. I was so empty and dehydrated that I was going in and out of consciousness, but I'll never forget that. God, it was embarrassing, not to mention miserable. And I have never been that sick before or since. Thank God.

[D]

That's how I was feeling in Chattanooga when we went to. To podcast with Macy and Lindsay Nicholson. And it was just like, both ends, and you're just so tired, you're drained.

[C]

He'll. Like, when you get to the point of puking that it's like taking so much of your energy out. Like, it's coming up and your stomach's convulsing and you're.

[D]

No, literally, worst nightmare.

[C]

It is the worst thing in the world. One of my brothers told me the last time I had stomach bugs. He was like, lindsay, at the point that you have to have, like, you're sitting on the. And then you're puking into something else. You know that, like, you're about to see the Lord.

[D]

No, you. You are about to meet Jesus, because that is awful. Honestly. Who. Somebody was telling me a story about in the shower because there was it, like Literally was just liquid. Was it a foul play? It was either a foul play. Somebody wrote. I don't know. But I was like, I.

[C]

Someone you personally know.

[D]

Imagine I actually sent the link to the leggings that I wore.

[C]

Kristen said it was me.

[D]

Oh, was it? Well, your secret is half safe. Was with me. Because I wouldn't have known that it was you at all. I was down the drain. Yeah, been there. Been there.

[C]

So bad. It's just so terrible. Listen, the last time that I got the stomach bug was when I was in Mexico. Well, actually it was like neuro. Neurovirus, like whatever it's called. And the last time I puked, I remember praying to God, I said, please just like, do whatever you're gonna do to me.

[D]

Just make it all end. I don't care what you're gonna do. Just decide quickly.

[C]

Yeah, because I just couldn't do it anymore. When you're puking for like 12 hours and you're like, it's just not the vibes.

[D]

Literally, just end it all. Take us all out of our misery.

[C]

Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app, follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. Don't to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

[D]

See ya.

[E]

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[D]

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[E]

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[D]

Oh my God, I love it.

[E]

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