Taking Care Of The Mental Load One Girly At A Time!

Summary

Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry & Lindsie Chrisley

Episode Summary: "Taking Care Of The Mental Load One Girly At A Time!"

Release Date: January 23, 2025
Hosts: Kail Lowry & Lindsie Chrisley

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and lively episode, Kail and Lindsie dive deep into the challenges of parenting, the emotional and practical “mental load” mothers carry, and share raw experiences in motherhood, co-parenting, grief, and household management. With their trademark candor and wit, they discuss the invisible labor moms perform, ways to seek balance, and coping with both humorous and difficult family moments. The episode also features recommendations, advice on listener-submitted dilemmas, and a particularly memorable “foul play” story.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grief, Divorce, and Custody Over a Family Pet

• [00:50 – 07:58]
  • Lindsie shares her emotional morning: Trying to locate her divorce decree amidst sad news—her dog Della (now primarily her son Jackson’s dog post-divorce) was diagnosed with blood cancer with only six months to live.
  • The complexities of including pet custody in divorce decrees are discussed, including clauses about shared costs, food, illness, and care.
  • Debate about handling Della’s passing: Burial vs. cremation, and whether 12-year-old Jackson should have input.
    • Lindsie: “I personally feel like she should be cremated. How do you feel about a child at 12 years old making that decision?” [05:20]
    • Kail: “For me, if it was Isaac, I would trust his judgment… I do think it’s fair to take into consideration what he wants.” [05:25–06:33]
  • Cremation vs. Burial: Kail shares a painful story of losing her dog’s paw print keepsake due to a mishap while filming, underscoring importance of memory items.

2. Family Burial Customs, Death, and Legacy

• [07:58 – 13:14]
  • Both share personal family burial traditions, the logistics/locations of family plots and mausoleums, and views on cremation.
    • Kail: “Honestly, print some pics out, burn my body and call it a day.” [12:10]
  • Interesting tangent on “crypts” and how cemeteries manage space—contributing their mix of humor and morbid curiosity.

3. Social Media & Cross-Cultural Curiosity

• [13:59 – 18:39]
  • The pair riff on TikTok, China’s “Red Note” app, and how they get hooked on parenting/kids’ meal videos.
  • Kail admits: “I love watching people make their kids’ dinner plates…” [15:06]
  • Kail plans: “I’m going to China. It’s gonna be a whole series: Kail Goes to China.” [15:23]
  • They express fascination with how involved and skilled children in other cultures can be in cooking.

4. Discussions on Social Media Exploitation & Child Safety

• [18:39 – 22:57]
  • Breaking news about an Australian influencer allegedly harming her own child for social media clout.
    • Kail: “That comes down to, to me…there is a line that you can’t cross as a parent.” [19:44]
    • Lindsie: “It’s absolutely sick.” [20:36]
  • They link the case to similar US stories (“Scamanda,” staged child abduction in a Michael’s parking lot), expressing horror at using kids for internet sympathy or profit.

5. TV, Film, and Book Recommendations

• [22:03 – 24:24]
  • Lindsie: Watching and recommending White Lotus, Stranger, Missing You—reveals many are based on books.
  • Kail encourages listeners to go for the books, especially before film/TV adaptations.
    • Kail: “When I tell you guys, you have to read the books first. They’re so good.” [23:37]
  • Lighthearted chat about their own and their children’s learning goals (e.g., Kail’s son learning Mandarin from Red Note).

6. Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy & Child Harm

• [26:07 – 26:28]
  • Discussion turns to true crime themes from shows, with parallels to real-life cases like Gypsy Rose Blanchard.
    • Kail: “Munchausen by proxy is a real thing… I think feels uncommon because it doesn’t get reported as often.” [26:07]

7. What Is ‘Parental Mental Load’? Economic Value & Household Labor

• [27:06 – 40:14]
  • New study notes US parents’ “mental load” is worth $3.8 trillion, equating to an average of 32 hours/week—$60K extra per parent per year if monetized.
    • Lindsie: “A new study… reveals if US Parents were compensated for the mental load… $3.8 trillion in economic value.” [34:11]
    • Kail: “It’s not the actual tasks… It’s all the mental stuff. What needs to be washed…who eats what.” [28:04]
  • Kail notes the importance of an “equal partner” who truly shares the mental and practical workload.
    • Kail: “I have an equal partner that helps me with those things… It’s the mental load we’re sharing and the actual tasks themselves.” [28:40]
  • Both weigh in on how decision fatigue and invisible labor socialize mostly onto women, especially in two-parent households.

8. Valentine’s Day School Gifts: Practicality & Sensitivity

• [37:30 – 39:40]
  • Kail and Lindsie swap creative Valentine’s gift ideas for their kids’ classes—prioritizing non-candy options (like sports stress balls, glow stars, slime, applesauce pouches) for inclusivity and practicality.
    • Lindsie: “I felt I hate to do candy… One mom messaged me about dye allergies or diabetic children.” [37:53]
    • Kail: “That’s a really good point, actually.” [38:29]

9. Household Tips & Mom Hacks

• [40:14–45:16]
  • Swapping tips for cleaning kids’ shoes, backpacks, and clothing sanitation (e.g., Lysol sanitizer additive).
  • Kail laments how messy boys can be; both are “blanket girlies,” discussing the endless plush and bedding messes.
  • Kail: “I noticed when I wash [backpacks], they last a lot longer.” [41:37]
  • Advice for maximizing hand-me-down value and cleaning tips—magic erasers, Dawn dish soap, OxiClean, etc.

10. Listener Submissions: Solo Teen Travel & Emotional Parenting Moments

• [45:27–54:21]
  • Question 1: Mom worried about allowing her 18-year-old daughter a solo trip.
    • Both advise caution due to dangers, suggesting possible alternatives (“solo” with close-by supervision, or with a friend/buddy system).
    • Refer to cases like Natalee Holloway and Brittany Drexel to underline safety concerns.
  • Question 2: Parent upset after 3.5-year-old daughter said she only loves dad.
    • Hosts share deep empathy, linking such moments to co-parenting stress, possible “Disney dad” syndrome, and personal triggers from their own histories.
    • Kail recommends play therapy: “Maybe she doesn’t even know what the word hate means…” [53:40]

11. Foul Play Story: A NSFW Toy Mishap and ER Visit

• [55:52–58:42]
  • Hilarious submission: Listener unexpectedly has a sex toy stuck and must drive herself to the ER—narrates ordeal with honesty and humor.
    • Kail: “The way that I would call 911 to put me on a stretcher…” [56:56]
    • Lindsie: “Possibly wearing a dress would have been, like, a better option than pants.” [59:09]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I feel very attacked by you.”
  — Kail, early in the episode, on the playful dynamic with Lindsie [00:12]
• “You are so blessed in the fact that you do have an equal partner.”
  — Lindsie on the rarity of true partnership in household labor [29:16]
• “You never fudgeing know what the fuck is going on.”
  — Kail, on the everyday unpredictability and exhaustion of parenting [30:48]
• “Having a partner that does not understand or want to be an equal partner… that’s worse.”
  — Lindsie, on the burden of sharing space but not responsibility [31:57]
• “The mental load of parenting… If US Parents were compensated… $3.8 trillion in economic value.”
  — Lindsie, quoting the Forbes article [34:11]
• “In this mom life, truly taking care of the mental load. One girly at a time.”
  — Kail, landing on the episode’s key theme [44:25]
• “You can clean oil off a duck’s back, then it can clean everything in your house.”
  — Lindsie, on the wonders of Dawn dish soap [44:51]
• Listener Foul Play Memorable Line:
  “As I sit here waiting for the doctor to come in and stick that speculum into my vagina to make sure I have no parts from the toy lodged inside me…” [55:52]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:50 – 07:58: Divorce, pet custody, and handling a family pet’s end of life
• 13:59 – 18:39: Chinese TikTok, Red Note app, and cultural parenting differences
• 18:39 – 22:57: Influencer exploitation scandal and parallels to US incidents
• 27:06 – 40:14: Parental mental load, what it’s worth, and experiences of invisible labor
• 37:30 – 39:40: Practical Valentine’s Day ideas for inclusive classroom gifting
• 45:27 – 54:21: Listener questions: solo teen travel & feeling rejected by a child
• 55:52 – 58:42: “Foul play” story: sex toy mishap and ER visit

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Tone & Language

The episode combines humor, empathy, and real talk, providing an honest, relatable perspective on motherhood’s daily grind and emotional complexity. The hosts openly share their vulnerabilities and hard-earned wisdom, punctuating serious topics with laughter and candid banter.

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Conclusion

Kail and Lindsie offer a well-rounded, unfiltered conversation on the mental load mothers bear, the intricacies of parenting amid divorce, how to creatively approach family routines, and the necessity of support—among both partners and mom friends. With both hard truths and levity, the hosts validate listeners’ struggles, provide actionable ideas, and spotlight the importance of not carrying the load alone—one girly at a time.

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For More:

• Instagram: @coffeeconvospodcast
• Facebook Group: Coffee Convos Community

Listen to full episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

[A]

I hate gift giving and receiving.

[B]

Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you.

[A]

This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels.

[B]

Kale, that does not interest me whatsoever.

[A]

I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore.

[B]

There's a fakery bakery around here.

[A]

Here's Kale and Lindsay. Good morning and welcome to Coffee Combos Divorces.

[B]

Coffee Combos. Divor is crazy. Kristen goes, you actually. You actually have a divorce file? I said yes.

[A]

Yes, ma'. Am. Mine. Mine is labeled with all the things. So this.

[B]

I just got a letter. I just got a letter.

[A]

Wait, is that from Dora?

[B]

Yeah. No. Blues clues.

[A]

Oh, blues clues. Yeah, that's right. Good morning, everyone. It has been quite an eventful morning for me and this house as I was trying to locate my divorce decree. Not my parenting plan. A little bit unexpected, unfortunately. I called Will after my dentist appointment this morning, and he delivered the bad news that his parents had taken Della to the vet yesterday and that she has blood cancer and there's a tumor in her mouth that they cannot operate on. She could be sent to Auburn University to do radiation. However, they said that they would not advise doing that because her body probably could not withstand that type of treatment and gave her six months to live. It's very sad. I feel like it was one of the last things that we had of our unity together. And she comes here when Will travels. I was expecting to have her next week. However, Will's dad's going to be keeping her because we don't know what's going to happen. And that would be probably way too overwhelming for me to have three dogs in Jackson here by myself.

[B]

I mean, also for Della as well. Right. Like, I mean, knowing where she's at, because I think dogs do a good job trying to cover up their pain and discomfort a lot of the time. And so it might be overwhelming for her to kind of keep switching locations.

[A]

Well, so I had tried to pry and ask Will some questions on what the vet told his dad because I did have all of stuff about her put in the divorce decree since it was a dog that we shared. And in the decree it says, della, the Havanese dog, shall remain the sole and exclusive property of Jackson. Jackson shall be permitted to take Della with him to each respective parent home. Each parent shall be responsible for purchasing Della's food and treats while with that respective parent to maintain consistency Neither party shall change Della's food without first discussing the same with the other parent. All parties will notify each other if Della becomes ill or suffers accident while in their respective care. The party shall equally divide the cost of Della's routine grooming, veterinary care, but not limited to shots, yearly check checkups, heartworm prevention, flea and tick prevention, worming and dental cleaning. If she requires additional veterinary care outside the scope of routine, each party shall be responsible for up to $500 per calendar year. It also discusses in the event of illness that the part if the parties are unable to agree, then we have to take her to a vet for them to determine medically what the best calls of action would be.

[B]

I don't think that you've ever talked about Della being a part of your divorce decree. I don't think that you've ever mentioned that. And I think that that is. Well, one. I just want to say kudos to both of you for you and Will for coming up with the. The plan that is Della is Jackson's, right? Like it's not your. Della is not yours. Della is not Will's. And I think that that was really thoughtful of you guys to even take it that far. Right. And I also think because some dogs do really well with going wherever the parent like the their owner goes, right? Like some dogs. And we know that that's not the case for everybody. But being as though Della has gone back and forth between Yalls houses, I think that's really incredible. You guys both did a really great job. But I'm so sorry to hear of her prognosis.

[A]

Well, so not that it's an argument because I don't think it would be appropriate to be in a contentious conversation right now at this moment. He's trying to process what he just heard. I'm trying to process it. Jackson's trying to process it. It's not like something's going to happen to her tomorrow. However, unfortunately, I am going to have to remind him that it is Jackson's dog. And we have to go with what his wishes are because Will said upon her death that he would bury her. And I personally feel like she should be cremated. How do you feel about a child at 12 years old making that decision?

[B]

I think when Bear died, Bear was my first dog and also all of my kids first dog. And I mean, you guys remember this episode from Teen Mom. I want to say that, I mean Lux was born, Isaac was 8, so he was under 12. And I gave him the full rundown and let them choose. You Know, did they want to be there? Did they, you know, how they, how they felt. I personally think that at 12 years old, I mean, you know Jackson better than I do, but if you feel like he's in a place where he can make that decision, then I think that that's fair for you to at least take into consideration what he wants and then ultimately decide if that, you know, as his parent, is that in the best interest of, you know, the circumstances. And for me, if it was Isaac, I would trust his judgment. So, you know, when Isaac's cats pass away, that's going to be up to him. So, yeah, I think definitely taking. And ultimately if he's like, yeah, let's bury him, and you're like, here's. Here are some of the reasons why we should maybe cremate. I think you ultimately have the final say, but I do think that it's fair to take into consideration what he wants.

[A]

Well, nanny's dog Miley just passed away not too long ago, and we did the cremation and everything for her. And there are so many options with cremation, with, like, memory stuff. Yeah, like, you can do the paw print and like ornaments and like, things like that. And so ultimately, if I went to Jackson and Will and they both made the decision that they were going to bury her, I think the only thing that I would say is I hope that you're burying her in a place that you will always have.

[B]

That's my biggest thing. I mean, that's even with people too. Like, I can't. I don't know where I say I'm from Pennsylvania and also from Delaware. But, like, where in Pennsylvania and where in Delaware? And if I'm buried in Delaware and my kids don't end up in Delaware, should I actually be buried in Pennsylvania with the rest of my family? Like, my same thing with dogs and animals is like, if you're going to bury them in the backyard, I hope Will plans to stay there forever. Like, I just. And I think to your point, you can still do some of the paw print stuff with a burial because if they choose to put her to sleep at the vet, they might be able to do it quickly. But if she passes at home, you have very minimal time before the decomposing starts. So I think that that should be taken into consideration. You also might be able to do some of the stuff while she's still alive.

[A]

See, that's something that I need to look into and like, find a company or just call the local vet and see what companies, because sometimes they have specific companies that they work with for cremation and stuff like that. Maybe I could go through one of those companies to. To do that stuff. If that's their wishes, I'm perfectly okay with that. It's just a really hard thing. And then it made me start thinking about humans. And if you don't have a living will and something happens to you and it's left up to your children. Can you imagine seven of your children trying to make a decision on what was going to be done with you?

[B]

No. And we have open conversations about that. Like now, like, we joke about it, but I'm only half joking. They already don't agree. Like, my. I just drooled everywhere. Like, Isaac and Lincoln are so different that they already disagree. But going back to the dogs really quickly. When Bear died, we were still filming for Teen mom, and one of the camera crew from Teen mom actually broke his paw prints frame and was supposed to mtv. Not mtv, the brand. But like, the production company was supposed to do what they were gonna do to like, get it rectified and like, fix it. And I was really devastated. And that one of the people on the crew left the broken framed paw prints in the rental car and never did anything with it. Never got them back. They're gone forever. And I don't have bears paw prints anymore.

[A]

So you cremated him?

[B]

I have his ashes, but I wanted the pot. Like, I had the paw prints framed and those got ruined by someone on the crew. And then nothing was ever.

[A]

There's something like so special about the paw prints to me. Kind of like the stuff that your kids make when they're in, like, preschool, you know, like with their little hands. If stuff like that ever got destroyed. I think about people who have had house fires and stuff like that, and that kind of stuff gets destroyed. It's devastating.

[B]

Yeah. No. 100. And then to your point, just talking about, like, people and stuff, like, my kids disagreeing. That's why I put the stuff in my living will, because then they don't have a choice. And also cremate me because I don't want to be buried anywhere. I don't want to be buried in Delaware. I don't want to be buried in Pennsylvania.

[A]

I just. I used to be completely against cremation, like all together.

[B]

I remember.

[A]

And now I'm not, I think, because indifferent.

[B]

Where. So you were born where. What state were you born in?

[A]

In South Carolina.

[B]

You grew up between South Carolina, Georgia and Tennessee, right? While.

[A]

No, I grew up between South Carolina and Georgia.

[B]

Okay. And Then you also lived in Tennessee at some point.

[A]

Well, when we were filming for the show.

[B]

Okay, so maybe you have some feelings about that. I. Where would you be buried? Where would you be buried with your extended family? Do you feel like you'd be buried in Georgia? Is any of your family buried in Georgia? Like, what would that look like?

[A]

No. So my granddaddy actually passed away. My dad's dad passed away in ICU and at Atlanta Hospital. And the funeral home came and got him and took his body back to South Carolina and he's buried in a mausoleum there. My grandmother has. I forget what they call it. Kristen, what is it called? The. It's not like a plot. It's a.

[B]

Like the little slot that you go in in the mausoleum.

[A]

But it's like, called something like, specific. I can't remember what it's called.

[B]

I don't remember what it's called.

[A]

And then my mom's parents actually have their spaces in the mausoleum across from.

[B]

My dad's parents in South Carolina.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So they're not getting buried in Oklahoma?

[A]

No, my mom's parents are like, we're all from South Carolina. My mom just lived in Oklahoma because that's where her husband is from.

[B]

I also don't love the idea of like turning over graveyards and grave sites. Like 100. Like, honestly, print some pics out, burn my body and call it a day.

[A]

It's called like a. Not a ricket. That's what, like pork has. What is a plot in a. Kristen's.

[B]

Dad is in a mausoleum. Like a.

[A]

A crypt.

[B]

Crypt is crazy.

[A]

Yeah, but isn't that kind of like, sinister? Like that word, like.

[B]

Well, I just like, could someone that has access or like, is an employee of the cemetery, like, in theory, could they go in there and pull your body out?

[A]

I don't know. And then I had a question. After the last time you and I talked about graves and stuff and being buried in the ground. If they have 100 year turnover, what happens with a crypto?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I guess it would still be this 100 year thing because at that point they think that the extended relatives are no longer living either.

[A]

That's true. And I mean, once a building is full, then what?

[B]

I guess they maybe build another one. That's what I'm saying. Just. Just burn me up. Call it a day. If you guys did not listen to the Southern tea, Kristen and Lindsay cold called me on my way to McDonald's and Wawa asking about Pajama Gate. And it was Pajama Gate, round two. And I was like, honestly, capital murder. So go listen to that episode because I'm going to jail for capital murder.

[A]

I told Kristen, I was like, you know what? Based off of our Google searches today alone and the things that have come out of our mouth regarding what's the worst felony that you could possibly get? Because that's what we would have received, we're all going under.

[B]

Well, so China getting our data is, you know, they've already. They already have my Google searches. I'm sure China hasn't convicted me, so I think I'm fine.

[A]

China should be alarmed by me.

[B]

China loves us. China. I'm on Red Note. Have you been on Red Note?

[A]

No. I don't even know what that is.

[B]

It's the Chinese version of TikTok and truly it is. I love it there. It's TikTok is back. We know TikTok is back. The ban is down. I guess it's like extended for 90 days. I'm still posting on Red Note because I love it so much. But, like, there's four year olds in China cooking. Like, I looked at Creed, I said, do you want to cook like this? I mean, this little boy was doing a whole cooking tutorial, using tools, using utensils, all kinds of stuff. And Creed goes, no, that's too hard, sir. I think he's three and you're four. What do you mean it's too hard?

[A]

Yeah, but your child's an American.

[B]

No, but that's what I'm saying. And they're so friendly. They're like, now it's your turn to learn Mandarin Chinese. And I'm like, yes, it is. So I just get on there and I scroll and I love it. I will be staying on Red Note.

[A]

Can I tell you some of my favorite videos to watch on Tick Tock? And I don't even know why I watch them, but it's like you get sucked in.

[B]

What?

[A]

It's watching people make their kids dinner plates.

[B]

Oh, I love it. I love it so much.

[A]

Can we start doing those?

[B]

Yes. No, I love it, honestly. Catch me in China. I'm going there for my next year. Next year. I already have this year's birthday planned out. But next year you guys can catch me in China. Kale Goes to China. It's gonna be a whole series. I'm going to China. And they love when other people are interested in their culture. They very much are excited about it. From what I'm gathering from Redno and I, if Anyone from China would like to come on Bare Le this podcast. Please let me know. I would love that. I'll fly to China. They do talk about ADHD in China. ADHD in China is now. Like, they recognize it. They have resources for it. Like, this is a big thing in China. So I don't know. I feel like I'm learning a lot about the Chinese culture. I would be really interested to know. Like, I'm gonna send you this video of the little kid cooking. And I'm just so. Americans could never.

[A]

Okay. You and I are both going to start doing our dinner plates.

[B]

Okay. Deal.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Mine won't be healthy, but I'll do it.

[A]

We're saying it on here because for some reason I get sucked in and I want to know from these creators, like, what they're putting on their kids plates.

[B]

Okay. Can you just react to this in real time then?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna send you. Do you have Red Note?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. I. You might be able to open it through Safari. Like, I'm not going anywhere. Red Note.

[A]

I'm not here to stay.

[B]

No, I'm truly here to stay. I'm obsessed with this. That makes me sound like such a creep. But I just love them so much and I'm like, I don't know. I just love it. Okay, I'm sending this to your phone. I want you to. I want you to play it and I want you to react in real time. You don't have to watch the whole thing because it's like two minutes long, but just watch a clip of it. I love him so much. He's so cute. Like, I'm a Red Note stand. I don't care.

[A]

When you go to China, are you gonna go to McDonald's and see if the Big Mac tastes the same there?

[B]

Of course I am.

[A]

Because that would be.

[B]

I'm writing this down.

[A]

That would be of great interest to me.

[B]

China trip.

[A]

Go to McDonald's.

[B]

McDonald's. No, not me. Pudding.

[A]

Oh, my God. Why is this little boy so cute?

[B]

No, I'm obsessed.

[A]

Hold on. The length of your finger. He's measuring, right? And he's saying the amount of water that you put in needs to be.

[B]

He whips, he wisps up some eggs and pours and he makes, like, this, like, whole. It's sort of like an egg gelatin sort of deal with, like, boiling water. And he puts the gloves on. He has the gloves on so he can hold the hot water and he pours it in the eggs. He said whisky it up really fast. Accelerate. He's like, accelerate your whisping. And then he puts it over, he adds the soy sauce. He does the whole thing. And I'm like, I literally commented on this child's video and I was like, I'm gonna try this with my kids. Thank you so much.

[A]

First of all, I want him at my house.

[B]

No. Can he? Yes. Like I have to go visit him in China.

[A]

He can, he can teach me how to cook.

[B]

No, I'm obsessed. I just, I love Renault is so friendly and they were so welcoming to, to Americans and then they were like, we know Tick Tock is back, but like are you guys gonna stay on Red Note? Like it was like all these Chinese creators. I'm obsessed with them.

[A]

I love it. Okay, so I don't know if you saw this. Okay, we're gonna talk about another place outside of the United States. It says Australian influencer accused of torturing her one year old daughter in a scam to get followers donations.

[B]

Does this feel like Scamanda?

[A]

Yes. It says an Australian influencer has been charged with poisoning and torturing her one year old daughter in an effort to make her sick and then leverage her illness online for donations and social media followers.

[B]

I saw this actually now that it, it's starting to ring a bell and I think like their version of like a CPS situation ended up getting involved.

[A]

Yeah. So it says in a quote from authorities, we will do everything in our power to remove that child from harm's way and hold any offender accountable. That was from a detective. There is no excuse for harming a child, especially not one as a year old infant who is reliant on others for care and survival.

[B]

That's so upsetting. And I think that that comes down to, to me, this is my opinion, there is a line that you can't cross as a parent where you would do anything to make ends meet financially. Right. Like I'll sell my own body, but I'm not going to put my child in harm's way to make sure that I can make ends meet. At the point that you're trying to be an influencer because you have a mental illness and you want attention and views, you are no longer. I'm not looking at you as someone who's doing anything to make ends meet. Do you know what I mean? Like you are mentally ill.

[A]

This is like that one woman, do you remember how she said that somebody tried to like kidnap her child and came up with that whole scam? I think it was like in a Michael's parking lot or Something. Remember that? Yeah, it was all for followers.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

It's absolutely sick. It says that the alleged abuse began in early August 2024 and lasted until October 2024. And that was according to medical staff. It said the mother would post videos of her daughter online pocketing donations and gaining social media followers. The mother had raised roughly 60,000 in Australian dollars, or about 37,000 USD. She used GoFundMe to collect the donations. It is alleged the content produced exploited the child and was used to entice monetary donations and online followers.

[B]

I hope there's prison time that's going to be issued.

[A]

I feel like this is like a full blown investigation and I feel like we will see more. But I'm curious to know why they didn't release who the influencer was.

[B]

I. I thought they did at. For a brief time. They had her information up. This to me is like, you don't just lose that one child. You want lose all your children, in my opinion. And you should have mental evaluations, jail time. I mean, at the point that you are able to come up with this sort of scam and do this level of torturing, you are mentally stable enough to withstand jail, but also get like psychiatric help. I don't. I don't fuck with that at all.

[A]

I have been watching White Lotus. Have you watched it?

[B]

No. Is it a movie or what is it?

[A]

No, it's on Max and it's a series. It's so good. I think a new season's coming out.

[B]

What is it about though? Because if it's about hurting children, I can't.

[A]

It is like I can't even tell you what it's about because there is so much that is going on.

[B]

I just wrote it down that there's.

[A]

Like a million crimes going on in each episode that involves different people. From my understanding, I'm on season one, but from my understanding from other people who have watched it, season one cast is like one cast and then season two is a completely different cast. I don't know what's to come for season three. I say all of that to say it's. It's just a really, really great show. And I've also been watching Stranger and. Have you watched that?

[B]

No.

[A]

Or did you watch Missing you?

[B]

Remind me what missing you is. I feel like I watched Missing you.

[A]

I can't remember like all the details of hold on.

[B]

Because I think I. I think I want missing Netflix.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I watched Missing you.

[A]

Okay, so. Oh yeah, it was about the detective that her boyfriend was like a runaway or whatever because he ended up killing her dad accidentally. Those shows have me hooked. Did you know that those Missing you and Stranger are all based off of books?

[B]

What books?

[A]

I don't know, but like, you can do research, find out what books.

[B]

Because Stranger, I think I knew was on. There's a ton of stuff coming out there. Adaptations to. To books. And people sleep on them so much. But when I tell you guys, you have to read the books first. They're so good.

[A]

Okay, well, so like you are gonna.

[B]

Be shook at the housemaid movie that's coming out. You need to go read the book. I know you're not a reader, but like listen to the audio or something.

[A]

I already have my self help book from Mel Robbins that I'm gonna be reading.

[B]

Like, I heard it's good on audio. Any. Anybody that is like a Mel Robbins or anyone that does a memoir and they narrate their own book on audio I've heard is really good. I haven't done it yet, but I've heard it's really good. Okay, so Stranger and then missing you. I didn't know that was based on a book. And now I watched it first. Oh, I'm pissed that I did that.

[A]

Missing you and then White Lotus.

[B]

All right, let me tell Isaac because Isaac and I watched.

[A]

Oh, Isaac will absolutely love Stranger because there's big parts of the storyline that follow the teenage kids. And.

[B]

Isaac, whenever I said I was going to China. Yeah. And I said, would you want to go to China? And he goes, yeah. Wow, that'd be fun. I'll look into it. And I said, are you on Red Note? And he goes, yeah, learning Chinese a little. So the next thing y' all see him fluent in, it'll be like ASL and Mandarin Chinese. So he just said we that he didn't know that it was based on a book. So.

[A]

Yeah. So I think that there's other shows also that are a part of like those type of shows that are also based off of books. So I'll send you the name of those two I haven't watched. But in Stranger, I'm at the part where the teenage kids uncover rat poisoning. Like this girl that's kind of like a little bit more of a outcast. I don't think that she has really a ton of friends. She's supposedly sick and they see the mom taking the trash out and throwing the trash in the neighbor's garbage. Garbage, trash bin or whatever. So they get out of the car, go to the trash bin, empty it out, and there's a bunch of rat poisoning. And so I'm at that part and I'm like any person, all of that to be said, like any person that ever harms their child or does like that also is giving gypsy Rose Blanchard.

[B]

Yeah. 100. I mean, Munchausen by proxy is a real thing. And I think that a lot of people actually suffer by it, suffer from it, and nobody ever either reports it or the reports don't get taken seriously. I think that's a real thing. I think feels uncommon because it doesn't get reported as often. Or maybe they don't even realize. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. Like it's, it's crazy. Well, your son's teaching or texting you about learning what Chinese. Okay, well, my son's messaging me telling me that he wants a fountain drink.

[B]

Not a fountain drink, Mom.

[A]

I want to found. Mum. I want a fountain drink, Mum. Yeah, mom. Okay, so I saw this other article when I was searching on Forbes this morning, and it says, what is parental mental load? Managing a household is worth 3.8 trillion in economic value, a survey says.

[B]

So I follow this creator on TikTok. Her name is Paige and she talks about the mental load of parents and having an equal partner. And what that actually means is like, stop asking your partner, what do you want to do for dinner? What do you want to do for dinner? What do you want to do for dinner? Because it falls sort of almost into the category of like decision fatigue where you're constantly thinking about, right? Like, and this is something that I think about often with my co parent that swears that he needs to have xyz and I'm like, you are sleeping on the amount. The mental load that I go through with the with my children is like knowing specifically Lux and Creed, right? Like, we'll use them as an example. It's like, which one eats what, what for lunches? When I pack their lunches, knowing what it is that they eat because they're different. And then it's not the task of packing the lunch, right? It's the thought behind it. What do I need to order? What things to do does this child eat versus this child. Which one has this soccer practice and which one has this baseball practice. It's like, that is the mental load is like knowing the schedule, having everything planned out, knowing what to get from the grocery store. It's not the actual tasks themselves, right? Because packing the lunch is easy. And she talks about it all the time and how a lot of times the mental load is. It falls on the mom, right? And oftentimes the. The mom is the default parent. And so the dad doesn't get the big deal because the dad's like, oh, I'll pack the lunch. It's not that big of a deal. But it's not what goes in the. It's not packing the lunch itself. It's not doing the laundry itself. It's all of the mental stuff, what needs to be washed. Because I literally, I was so thankful that my kids did not have school yesterday because I was like, this is going to give me an extra day. Because Lux and Creed were still with Chris, the babies were napping. Elijah and I were able to tackle all the laundry upstairs, go through Luxon Creed's room, Lincoln's room, get everything done. And then I said to him, make sure that we set out what's needed for soccer and what's needed for basketball. And I have an equal partner that helps me with those things. So it's the mental load that we're sharing. And then also the actual task is tasks themselves. And I think that so many times nobody's talking about the mental part of it. It's not the doing, it's the thinking.

[A]

I feel like for you, you are so blessed in the fact that you do have an equal partner. Right. I think that if I had to guess, and I was a betting woman, I would bet that the majority of married or coupled people living in the same household that the majority of the mental load for those tasks are put on the woman.

[B]

No. 100%, 1,000%. And yesterday I went, I left the house at 5 o' clock to pick up the kids. And on my way out, Elijah looked at me and said, are you good with tacos tonight? Instead of asking me, what do you want to do for dinner? It's like, hey, are you okay with tacos? And I said, I was thinking the same thing. Thank you. And I left. You know what I mean? So, like, that's part of it. And I don't think that anyone understands people that don't have kids yet, too, that's something that they don't necessarily think about. That in and of itself, I think is the hard one of the harder parts of parenting. And especially as they get older and more things are taken on, more sports, more activities. You know, like I was thinking to myself, okay, Lux and Creed have basketball tonight. And then Lux has tutoring directly after the mental load of making sure that not only do I have everything put together, but that I also have his tutoring folder. Do I also, you know, Are we going to read before we go to basketball? Are we going to read at tutoring? Like, what does that look like? Are we going to save reading for when we get home? Like, things like that, that I think just. You never fudgeing, know what the fuck is going on.

[A]

I also feel like, back to you saying that he asked about tacos or how did he position it? He was.

[B]

He said, are you good with tacos tonight?

[A]

I think it's all about the positioning and the delivery of the question, too, right? It's like when he's giving you an option immediately up front, what do you think about tacos tonight? That comes across very differently than, hey, let me know what you want for dinner tonight. Because now you have to think.

[B]

And I don't want to think. And he doesn't either. When I know that he's. I mean, this morning he was up and out the door quicker than I was. So I know, like tonight I could say. Or if I set stuff out on the stove before I take the boys to basketball, he. The decision's already made. I know when he's out doing whatever, you know, whatever job he's got to do, he doesn't want to make that decision at the end of the night or, you know, at the end of the school day or whatever. He. That's the last thing that he wants to think about. And same for you is like, especially when you're a single mom, too, is like, you don't have someone to help. You don't have the option of an equal partner. So I don't know. I don't know necessarily what's worse, not having an equal partner or just not having someone there. The decision always falls on you.

[A]

You know what I actually think is worse? I think what is worse is having a partner that does not understand or want to be an equal partner.

[B]

I mean, I would probably agree with that only because of my experience, you know, being a single mom with Isaac, being a single mom with Lux. I knew that there was no other option when it was me with those, you know, those two babies. There was no other option. There was no help. There was no. So I didn't even think about the fact that, like, it was the mental load necessarily when you are sleeping in a bed or sleeping in a household with someone who is not an equal partner in any way, shape or form, or they're constantly putting the mental load on you without a care in the world. Paige talks about that on her TikTok and I'll post her if you guys haven't seen her before. She talks about how her and her husband were actually on the verge of divorce. And she. They sat down and had a conversation about the mental load and what actually was going into the decision making and making sure that everything was running smooth, smoothly. And so at the point that they had that conversation, he changed his ways and now she has an equal partner. And I think that that's so real. But I don't think that every man or every partner is ready for that conversation.

[A]

I also think in situations like that, as a single mom, back to what you said, I don't have another option, so it's just me. So I do have to make all of those decisions. And I know it won't be like that forever, but I could imagine it would be more difficult having a partner that is not equal in responsibilities to you and wanting to tackle the task together because resentment, like the amount of resentment that would be built by having to do all of those things on your own and having another body there. At least I don't have to worry about somebody else, right?

[B]

It's like you don't have to consider what someone else might want to eat. It's just you and Jackson and sometimes just you and, you know, I don't know about you, but when I was a single mom, I sometimes I didn't even think about my meals, right? Like, if my kids weren't home, I was just eating snacks or I wasn't eating it at all. So I just didn't think about it. But I mean, there's so much to be said about the mental load, and I think that it doesn't get talked about enough. So when I send you her profile, I think you'll get a lot from it.

[A]

So this article says the mental load of parenting, the unseen labor involved in managing a household with children, from planning to scheduling to overseeing daily activities with which is everything you were just saying, has long been recognized as. As significant time investment for parents. A new study has quantified this invisible work, revealing that if US Parents were compensated for the mental load, it would equate to a staggering 3.8 trillion in economic value. It says that there was a survey that asked 2,000 parents about the hours they spent on different mental load activities. The findings revealed the average parent invests about 32 hours a week in this unseen labor. If these parents were to be compensated for their efforts at the median hourly WAGRE in the US they would each earn an additional 60,000 annually.

[B]

I believe it. I believe it because when I tell you, I mean, I Never really thought about what I didn't think there was a name for, like, quote unquote, the mental load. Like, I didn't ever really know what that stress was. And I could imagine. Just hear me out. For the people who don't want children, they're thinking about stuff like this, right? Like, the people who are committed to not wanting children, they understand this. And I think that that is something like, I never thought about the mental load, right? Like, I never thought about making sure that I keep, you know, and I. It comes with experience too, like trial and errors, like making sure that I have extra clothes in my car for X, Y and Z. Now leaving. I make my kids leave their soccer cleats in my vehicle, so I'm not forgetting about them so I don't have to think about that one extra task. Packing snacks ahead of, ahead of time and making sure that they're already in my car so that when I don't think about it or I forgot they're already in my car. Things like that that we don't think about. I didn't even know there was a name for mental load. But truly, I mean, and it's invaluable. Like, you can't really put a price on it, and that's even low in my opinion.

[A]

But it's crazy because I also think preparation is mental load as well.

[B]

Oh, 100%.

[A]

Yes. Are you lightening your load for future? Yes. But you had to get to a place that the mental load was so big that you had to make sure cleat stayed in the car and like all the things. Right.

[B]

Well, and so what's crazy is that over the past couple months, I noticed that, like, for example, I have Valentine's Day candy in my car and it's been there for two weeks because I saw it at a two weeks ago and I was like, if I don't get this right now, I'll forget. So it's been in my car. I went on Etsy, ordered everybody's Valentine's Day entirely too far in advance. But I just knew that the mental load of a family of nine and then running businesses on the side, like, I. If I don't do it right now. And so just having that sort of be a weight is. I mean, not for nothing, but like, Elisha's not thinking about, like, the candy stuff and like the classroom. He's an equal partner everywhere. I just don't think he thought. He's probably not thinking right now about Valentine's Day because it's still next Month. You know what I mean?

[A]

But I think I also have my Valentine's for Jackson's class as well. I'm. I was telling Kristen I am prepared for mostly nothing else in life but a will make sure that she has her kids. Class Valentine's.

[B]

Wait. Can I tell you what I ordered for the Valentine's, actually? Because if anyone is looking, I'm big on practical. I do not. Most of the time, my kids do not save their Valentine's. They're going to pull the candy out. They don't care who it's from. I'm looking at practical. So I will tell you guys what I got for. And maybe it's not practical. I don't know. Practical to me, I guess.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what I got. I got. And I felt I hate to do candy because. And this is why, number one, I don't want my kid coming home with that much candy. Number two, he can't really eat most of the candy because of braces. So that's like a whole nother issue. Understand everybody's not in that same situation but a mom. When I posted Jackson's class Valentine's sent me a message and said, people don't think about other children who might be allergic to, like, dyes and stuff that are in the candy or diabetic children.

[B]

That's a really good point, actually. And actually, that makes me feel bad because I did candy for. I did these, like, candy kebabs for Lincoln's class. I didn't think about that.

[A]

That's super cool.

[B]

You know those little glow in the dark stars that you stick to your walls?

[A]

Yeah. When we were in, like, middle school.

[B]

Yeah. And it says, you light up the sky, and it's like a little pack of the stars. I did those for. Hold on. I did those ones for. It says. Which ones? I did from Creeds. For Creed's class. I did the little applesauce pouches that say, you are awesome sauce for Rios. And then I did sensory little slime cups that you can like for. For Lux.

[A]

See, I love those ideas because I feel like it's something different outside of just, like the mainstream. I did sports stress balls.

[B]

Oh, cute. And actually, my kids love stress balls. Isaac just was like, I have too many. And he gave some to Creed and was like, you need this.

[A]

Well, I thought it was something that the kids might could keep in their desk because they are allowed to have.

[B]

Stuff like that digit or something to calm them down. That's actually a really good idea.

[A]

Yeah. So that's what we did. But what were we talking about before?

[B]

No, the mental load.

[A]

I remember the mental load. So I think, also to your point, when you said Elijah isn't thinking about, like, class Valentine's, but it doesn't not make him an equal partner. I think a lot of times people get confused with what equal partner means. And to me, equal partner is, I might not be the best at X, Y, and Z, but my partner is. So they do those things, and I take care of the other things that they're not the best at.

[B]

Yeah. Or like, I got the Valentine's. He wasn't really thinking about those, but he was thinking about all the things that the kids needed. You know, wash their backpacks, make sure their sports bags are packed, like, stuff like that. So I don't mind taking on the Valentine's. I also don't even know if they're doing Valentine's at school, but I ordered just to be proactive, so whatever.

[A]

Can we just briefly, just like a second, talk about how often we wash our kids backpacks?

[B]

Well, I didn't really start doing it until you talked about it, but I noticed that. Let me just say this, and I. I should stay on top of it even more, is that when I wash them, they last a lot longer. Or I could reuse them and pass them down to the other kids. And so that's when you started talking about that. I was like, okay, I can do this. And so that. And winter coats. What? The more I wash them, the more they don't get, like, the stains that don't come out. And so I'm able to pass them down. But I have a question for you. I have a girlfriend who. She has twin daughters, and she cleaned these cleats like, soccer cleats. And I was like, oh, my God, they look literally brand new. Like, not the. You could tell they were scrubbed and cleaned brand new. They looked brand new. She told me what she used, and I was like, okay, because the cleats thing, I used to just donate them, but now that I have so many kids, I'm like, okay, no, we need to save them, pass them down kind of thing. She said that she heard to put cleats in the dishwasher. Does that work?

[A]

So I've never actually put cleats in a dishwasher, so I cannot confirm.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I am big on using a magic eraser on shoes.

[B]

Okay. She let me see what she said she used, but I was like, oh, I. I mean, I might just pay her a couple bucks to do them. Because I'm like, I don't know what's going on here, but these are.

[A]

But also if you have not bought the Lysol, sanitizing stuff, whatever, like grocery store, I think you can get it on Amazon to put in your kids school clothes. Like, I use sanitizer, I as an additive to my detergent and stuff on all of Jackson's stuff that comes home from school.

[B]

Okay. Is it a spray?

[A]

No, it's like a. It's very, very liquidy. It's more like water. Like. And I saw it actually on a tick tock, I think last year and it was talking about like cold and flu season and how that additive was basically like a disinfectant in the washing machine.

[B]

Can you send me that just so I can remember? We went through the boys rooms over the weekend to like just do all the things and I just can't get over it. Like boys are so messy.

[A]

Did you find a bunch of rappers to shit that didn't belong, like in rooms?

[B]

Specifically Lincoln's.

[A]

Specifically Jackson's.

[B]

And my kids are blanket kids. I'm also a blanket girly. I love blankets. I love throw blankets. I have one for every occasion. So I had to order blanket, like throw blanket racks for my kids rooms because they have so many. And I'm like, I just like, where do you guys. Do you think you're gonna sleep with all of them? Lincoln has been sleeping with like four throw blankets on his bed. And I'm like, how do you even sleep well with all of these?

[A]

Are Jackson and Lincoln like the same person?

[B]

They have to be. And then Lux and Jackson are the same because Lux sleeps with a hundred stuffed animals on his bed. And I'm like, what are we doing?

[A]

I've been doing a bunch of purging around here. And just a little brief follow up. You know how I was like talking so much about comforters the other day and I said nobody even makes them anymore. Like, I haven't seen it. Well, you ate your words did. Because I started thinking about the duvet and then I went on TikTok to find how to put on a duvet. Like the best way. If that's what I look like when I'm putting on a duvet cover, I don't need to be doing it because that's absolutely embarrassing. Appalling. So I went, bought comforters for all of my rooms from Target.

[B]

It's the best thing you could do. It's the best thing. And I think that you're going to be very happy with Your decision.

[A]

We're just out here helping each other.

[B]

In this mom life, truly taking care of the mental load. One girly at a time.

[A]

1000%.

[B]

Okay. My friend text me back, and she said, dawn, dish soap and a scrub brush in the sink. But she puts oxiclean the soles and scrub the inside to use hot microwaved water with some bleach and drop the shoelaces.

[A]

Okay, well, that knows how to clean, because that's some that my nanny would do.

[B]

Lindsay said, quote, that knows how to clean.

[A]

She's gonna be like, what, dish soap for everything. She's like, you can clean oil off of a duck's back, then it can clean everything in your house.

[B]

Also, if your dogs or your cats have fleas, put a collar of dawn dish soap when you're washing so they don't travel up to their eyes and stuff.

[A]

Are we just like coffee combos? Knows everything.

[B]

Ticks and trick. Ticks and tricks. Tips and tricks for everybody.

[A]

I cannot.

[B]

I. We have a listener submission that says, hello, kitties. My daughter turns 18 this year and is asking for a solo trip. I'm afraid of letting her go, but that's what she's asking for as a gift. Any suggestions? What would you do? Scared mama here.

[A]

Absolutely understand the franticness of your child going on a solo trip. I don't know that I would be okay with this. Just based off of where we are in this world. I don't even feel comfortable going on a solo trip myself. So I'm probably not the best person to ask. But eventually they have to go.

[B]

I think you could be going. Well, that's what I was about to say, because from my understanding, and do not quote me on this, I think Costa Rica is a pretty peaceful and safe place. Surely there are other countries and other places that they. I mean, she said a solo trip. That could be Florida. You know, we don't know. I think just doing your due diligence and looking for where to go also. Could it be an option, Just an idea here that it's solo in that you go and you stay in a different room, but you're in the vicinity and you're not maybe in her business as much, but you're also there for the sole fact that, you know, she is your daughter and you want to make sure that she's safe. Like maybe you get a different room or maybe you're at the hotel next door. I don't know. Just food for thought.

[A]

I just think when I hear stuff like this, immediately what pops into my mind. Natalee Holloway.

[B]

And also there was another situation where a woman, a young woman, a teenage girl or a young girl was in Myrtle beach and went missing. I don't know if you ever heard that case where, I mean, they never found her. And it was said that she potentially was thrown to the alligators. Like her body, her cover up was thrown to the alligators.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah. Hold on.

[A]

Again, this world is crazy. What would possess somebody to throw a body?

[B]

Brittany Drexel. On the night of April 25, 2009, 17 year old Brittany Drexel of Chile, New York, United States left United States left a hotel in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina where she had been staying with friends for spring break. She walked to another hotel a short distance away and from there texted her boyfriend saying that she was heading back to her hotel. But that was the last that she had been seen alive. And so they have never found her to my knowledge. Disappearance around 8pm investigation Timothy Taylor was allegations. I don't know who this was. I don't know the full story. You guys can look it up. Her name is Brittany Drexel, to my knowledge. Okay. This says that in early May 2022, Raymond Moody, a registered sex offender, turned himself in. He was the first person of interest. I don't know if what came of this, so look it up. But that's something that, you know, you never planned for, you know, like your child going missing. So I think just being there could be helpful.

[A]

Also, is it like a full blown solo trip? Because I also would feel more comfortable with like a best friend being an attendant. So it's like a buddy system situation. A girl traveling alone anywhere at 18, I feel like is just a risk.

[B]

I went to Mexico for my 14th birthday with the family that I was living with. Shout out to Ariel Boyle's family. Thank you, Maggie. I still love you. We were in a joint hotel room at Riviera Maya, the Mayan palace in Riviera Maya. And it was like a joint situation. We were young, we were 14. So 14 is very different than 18. But the door closed between like her parents and us. And we, we did whatever we wanted on that resort with no adult looking back. I think it was a different time. I also think that maybe we shouldn't have been doing like, I don't know that is an option. I mean, I feel like we felt like we were cool. We felt like we were, you know, sort of given the freedom that we wanted. We didn't really get into a whole lot of trouble except for one day and then, you know, I don't know. I feel like that could be the best of both worlds. It's like you're there for. Solely for the safety of your child.

[A]

I 1000% agree. I wanted to get your thoughts on this other listener that wrote in. She said, I just spiraled out of nowhere. I saw this on the Facebook group. She said, my daughter told me that she loves her dad and not me. And I lost it, got upset and started crying and asked her why she's so mean. Why would she say that? She's three and a half and could possibly not mean it. But I have bent over backwards for my girls. I try to have meaningful moments with them. I take time away from my phone. I have one on one. I try to make time. I try to make our time intimate and full of love. I did not have a good relationship with my mother, and I felt rejected a lot. Now I feel rejected by my daughter and I don't know how to deal with. I think that there's a lot going on here. I feel like possibly the abandonment issues that this person is dealing with from rejection from her mother. Now she's dealing with abandonment issues, possibly from feeling rejected from her daughter.

[B]

I also think that sometimes toddlers will say things like that. I don't know what the situation is here. Are you and your daughter's father together? Are you not together? Do you hold her accountable for things that she. She doesn't want to do or mistakes that she's, you know, made? What is the dynamic between you and her father? I think that's all going to play a part. And I think that kids absorb way more than you're. Than we give them credit for. All my kids are different. And so far, you know, not all my kids have told me they hate me or not. All my kids have had this shared, you know, this, but some of them have. And actually only one of the two of them, and a lot of it comes from, in my experience is the turmoil between mom and dad. So I think that could play a factor if you're not with your daughter's dad. But also I don't know why kids do what they do.

[A]

How did you deal with that when it happened to you?

[B]

I don't want to say I ignored it, but it was more of like, I'm sorry that you feel that way. I love you no matter what kind of. Kind of deal.

[A]

That's really big of you to do that. I think that it's devastating in the moment. If a child would ever tell their parent that it has never happened to me. So I really, I can't relate, but I can sympathize. I also think that a lot of times when you're dealing with a co parenting situation, which I'm kind of feeling like might be what's going on here, that we hear the term like Disney dads and then you have the moms that have the majority of custody. And I know that's not all cases, but moms who do have majority of custody and have to take care of all of the daily activities and routines, and then you have a dad that is very much a Disney dad. Do whatever you want. I think that it confuses a young child's mind.

[B]

I just want to know too, like, where this child has heard that. Where like in my experience specifically my child knows and has heard whether it was to them directly or not, things said about me. So they're absorbing that and then they come over and they're mad at something I did, and then that's how they, you know, the child reacts. So it could be that if that's not the case and this, this person is not dealing with a co parenting situation, I think that play therapy is a great option. Unfortunately for Delaware, there are not many resources for play therapy here. I know, know I got the idea from you, Lindsay, to look into play therapy. They're very few and far between. They're usually booked up and it's not sort of like the resources that you have. But depending on where this person lives, I think that could be a really great option too. Because from what I've read, and I don't know how true this is, but I've read something that said you have from 0 to 8 to mold your children into who they're going to be as adults. Like, obviously trauma and things like that later on is, will impact them. But like 0 to 8 is that like subconscious mind kind of deal where setting the tone before they even realize what's going on. Where like after eight years old, they sort of know more what's going on. They make conscious decisions. They're basing their decisions off of how they grew up. From zero to eight. Maybe try play therapy to kind of get them, get the, get your daughter to, you know, together. She doesn't know really what's going on or what she's saying, or maybe she doesn't even know what the word hate means.

[A]

Well, and a lot of times when you bring certain situations to a play therapist as the parent, to just notify the therapist of things that you've seen, seen at home, or encounters that you've had. There are ways that they can play with them through those types of situations or put the play at play for something like that, similar to come up in an organic way, and it helps them be able to talk through it. I actually had a conversation with Jackson last weekend. I said, do you ever, like, think about your play therapist? And he said, yeah, I think about her sometimes. Like, she was such a nice lady, and I loved that she was in my life, but I don't need it anymore. So big. And I said, did you enjoy going to play therapy? And he said, yeah, it was really fun. And I got to do my feelings while I was having fun.

[B]

And see, he knows, but he also. I mean, the idea for therapy as adult is like. The idea is for you to, like, not need it anymore. You learn the tools to not need it, or maybe for a short time you don't need it. Right. Like, same thing for Jackson is like, he needed it while he needed it, and then he didn't need it anymore. So, I mean, that's the goal. Oh, graduated. Yeah. I just wish that we had more resources like that, because we just don't.

[A]

But if anybody has any questions about play therapy and you want to message me or message into the Facebook group and start a thread, I would be happy to share our experience personally. And on that note, we have foul play.

[B]

Oh, this is. This is a long one. Okay, well, I don't know if this is a foul play, but as I'm sitting in the ER right now, my first thought was that I needed to share this with you ladies. So as I sit here waiting for the doctor to come in and stick that speculum into my vagina to make sure I have no parts from the toy lodged inside of me, I thought I'd start letting you girls in on what sent me to the ER So my husband and I are separated. I'm finally getting to a point where I'm meeting some D in my life, but I'm not going and taking the kitty out on a walk to to play. So I decided to buy myself a new toy.

[A]

We love that.

[B]

Now, this toy has a dick on one end and also a flappy thing attached on the inside of the dick that's supposed to hit your G spot, and on the other end, it curves and is a mouth with a tongue to hit the clip.

[A]

Wow, listen, that is like a super Soaker.

[B]

Not a super Soaker. Well, after some much needed o time, I went to pull the toy out of me, and it wouldn't Be. It wouldn't come out. It was stuck inside of me. I didn't know what to do. I slid out of my bed the best way I could, being that I had a mouth and a dildo hanging out of my vagina. I grabbed the flashlight in a mirror and squatted over the toilet lid. But I couldn't see what was going on because this red dildo was in my way. So I walked back to my room and slowly climbed back up onto my bed, laid on my back and pulled my legs back like I was having a baby so I could try to get my fingers in there and feel what was going on. As I began to feel around, my inner skin was wrapped around the inside of the toy where the flapper was. Don't ask me how it happened. So here I am on my bed, trying to gently pull this toy out of me, but my skin is literally stuck in it, and I'm scared to death. I have no one to call to come look at the situation and try to help me pull it out. So I immediately knew what I was gonna have to do. I slowly got myself dressed while holding this toy between my legs, put my shoes on, and so slowly and painfully slid into my car and drove myself to the ER. No, because the way that I would call 911 to put me on a stretcher. How do you even drive with this? Okay, she says, I'm slowly walking into the ER with this dildo hanging out of me and bulging out of my. The lady at the desk says, what's wrong with you tonight? And I asked her, well, have you ever seen this TV show? Sex sent me to the E.R. she immediately calls the nurse. And I'm crying at this point because I'm so mortified and realize the story that I'm about to tell these doctors and what they are about to say. See, as I laid down on this bed, but as I'm standing there talking to her, I feel the dildo falls out of me and into my pants. She takes me back to the room. We go into the bathroom. It did fall out and was just laying there in my pants. I looked over at her and start laughing and crying at the same time. So now here I sit, waiting to be examined to make sure everything is okay down there and that there are no foreign objects remaining inside of me. Update. Everything was fine. All objects had fallen out.

[A]

Okay, so in this situation, number one, I'm calling my husband that I'm separated.

[B]

From, immediately calling like, I don't care if you have a wife at this point. Like, or like a new girlfriend.

[A]

You need to come help. So now I had to do this. Now I'm laid up and I need help. That's number one. Number two, I feel like possibly wearing a dress would have been, like, a better option than pants.

[B]

Mortifying.

[A]

I feel like what happened was maybe, like, her vagina just, like, squeezed, like, real tight. And then once she got, like, a little bit more relaxed, it was just like, right, you know?

[B]

No, I agree. I agree with you.

[A]

You have that toy.

[B]

No, I don't have that toy. That toy is not in my.

[A]

My inventory, my repertoire, my.

[B]

My eclectic collection.

[A]

Okay, that's all we have time for today. Thank you for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app, follow and rate on Spotify, or listen wherever you get your podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

[B]

See ya. Pluto TV is the place for movie fans like me and TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone, and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier and rewatch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker, or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump Run Forest, Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows, all for free. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never.

[C]

Hey, moms, have you ever felt like there's more to motherhood than what we're told? Then you need to check out our podcast, Moms Ask why. Hosted by Chelsea Jules and Brittany Whitney, Moms Ask why dives deep into the tough questions surrounding motherhood. Our mission? To educate, inspire, and empower moms like you to take charge of your children's health with real talk, expert insight, and actionable advice. This is the podcast every mom needs in her playlist. Because sometimes the best way to be a great mom is to ask why. Follow Rate Interview Moms Ask why now on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.