Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry & Lindsie Chrisley

Episode Summary: "Taking Care Of The Mental Load One Girly At A Time!"

Release Date: January 23, 2025
Hosts: Kail Lowry & Lindsie Chrisley

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and lively episode, Kail and Lindsie dive deep into the challenges of parenting, the emotional and practical “mental load” mothers carry, and share raw experiences in motherhood, co-parenting, grief, and household management. With their trademark candor and wit, they discuss the invisible labor moms perform, ways to seek balance, and coping with both humorous and difficult family moments. The episode also features recommendations, advice on listener-submitted dilemmas, and a particularly memorable “foul play” story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grief, Divorce, and Custody Over a Family Pet

• [00:50 – 07:58]
  • Lindsie shares her emotional morning: Trying to locate her divorce decree amidst sad news—her dog Della (now primarily her son Jackson’s dog post-divorce) was diagnosed with blood cancer with only six months to live.
  • The complexities of including pet custody in divorce decrees are discussed, including clauses about shared costs, food, illness, and care.
  • Debate about handling Della’s passing: Burial vs. cremation, and whether 12-year-old Jackson should have input.
    • Lindsie: “I personally feel like she should be cremated. How do you feel about a child at 12 years old making that decision?” [05:20]
    • Kail: “For me, if it was Isaac, I would trust his judgment… I do think it’s fair to take into consideration what he wants.” [05:25–06:33]
  • Cremation vs. Burial: Kail shares a painful story of losing her dog’s paw print keepsake due to a mishap while filming, underscoring importance of memory items.

2. Family Burial Customs, Death, and Legacy

• [07:58 – 13:14]
  • Both share personal family burial traditions, the logistics/locations of family plots and mausoleums, and views on cremation.
    • Kail: “Honestly, print some pics out, burn my body and call it a day.” [12:10]
  • Interesting tangent on “crypts” and how cemeteries manage space—contributing their mix of humor and morbid curiosity.

3. Social Media & Cross-Cultural Curiosity

• [13:59 – 18:39]
  • The pair riff on TikTok, China’s “Red Note” app, and how they get hooked on parenting/kids’ meal videos.
  • Kail admits: “I love watching people make their kids’ dinner plates…” [15:06]
  • Kail plans: “I’m going to China. It’s gonna be a whole series: Kail Goes to China.” [15:23]
  • They express fascination with how involved and skilled children in other cultures can be in cooking.

4. Discussions on Social Media Exploitation & Child Safety

• [18:39 – 22:57]
  • Breaking news about an Australian influencer allegedly harming her own child for social media clout.
    • Kail: “That comes down to, to me…there is a line that you can’t cross as a parent.” [19:44]
    • Lindsie: “It’s absolutely sick.” [20:36]
  • They link the case to similar US stories (“Scamanda,” staged child abduction in a Michael’s parking lot), expressing horror at using kids for internet sympathy or profit.

5. TV, Film, and Book Recommendations

• [22:03 – 24:24]
  • Lindsie: Watching and recommending White Lotus, Stranger, Missing You—reveals many are based on books.
  • Kail encourages listeners to go for the books, especially before film/TV adaptations.
    • Kail: “When I tell you guys, you have to read the books first. They’re so good.” [23:37]
  • Lighthearted chat about their own and their children’s learning goals (e.g., Kail’s son learning Mandarin from Red Note).

6. Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy & Child Harm

• [26:07 – 26:28]
  • Discussion turns to true crime themes from shows, with parallels to real-life cases like Gypsy Rose Blanchard.
    • Kail: “Munchausen by proxy is a real thing… I think feels uncommon because it doesn’t get reported as often.” [26:07]

7. What Is ‘Parental Mental Load’? Economic Value & Household Labor

• [27:06 – 40:14]
  • New study notes US parents’ “mental load” is worth $3.8 trillion, equating to an average of 32 hours/week—$60K extra per parent per year if monetized.
    • Lindsie: “A new study… reveals if US Parents were compensated for the mental load… $3.8 trillion in economic value.” [34:11]
    • Kail: “It’s not the actual tasks… It’s all the mental stuff. What needs to be washed…who eats what.” [28:04]
  • Kail notes the importance of an “equal partner” who truly shares the mental and practical workload.
    • Kail: “I have an equal partner that helps me with those things… It’s the mental load we’re sharing and the actual tasks themselves.” [28:40]
  • Both weigh in on how decision fatigue and invisible labor socialize mostly onto women, especially in two-parent households.

8. Valentine’s Day School Gifts: Practicality & Sensitivity

• [37:30 – 39:40]
  • Kail and Lindsie swap creative Valentine’s gift ideas for their kids’ classes—prioritizing non-candy options (like sports stress balls, glow stars, slime, applesauce pouches) for inclusivity and practicality.
    • Lindsie: “I felt I hate to do candy… One mom messaged me about dye allergies or diabetic children.” [37:53]
    • Kail: “That’s a really good point, actually.” [38:29]

9. Household Tips & Mom Hacks

• [40:14–45:16]
  • Swapping tips for cleaning kids’ shoes, backpacks, and clothing sanitation (e.g., Lysol sanitizer additive).
  • Kail laments how messy boys can be; both are “blanket girlies,” discussing the endless plush and bedding messes.
  • Kail: “I noticed when I wash [backpacks], they last a lot longer.” [41:37]
  • Advice for maximizing hand-me-down value and cleaning tips—magic erasers, Dawn dish soap, OxiClean, etc.

10. Listener Submissions: Solo Teen Travel & Emotional Parenting Moments

• [45:27–54:21]
  • Question 1: Mom worried about allowing her 18-year-old daughter a solo trip.
    • Both advise caution due to dangers, suggesting possible alternatives (“solo” with close-by supervision, or with a friend/buddy system).
    • Refer to cases like Natalee Holloway and Brittany Drexel to underline safety concerns.
  • Question 2: Parent upset after 3.5-year-old daughter said she only loves dad.
    • Hosts share deep empathy, linking such moments to co-parenting stress, possible “Disney dad” syndrome, and personal triggers from their own histories.
    • Kail recommends play therapy: “Maybe she doesn’t even know what the word hate means…” [53:40]

11. Foul Play Story: A NSFW Toy Mishap and ER Visit

• [55:52–58:42]
  • Hilarious submission: Listener unexpectedly has a sex toy stuck and must drive herself to the ER—narrates ordeal with honesty and humor.
    • Kail: “The way that I would call 911 to put me on a stretcher…” [56:56]
    • Lindsie: “Possibly wearing a dress would have been, like, a better option than pants.” [59:09]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I feel very attacked by you.”
  — Kail, early in the episode, on the playful dynamic with Lindsie [00:12]
• “You are so blessed in the fact that you do have an equal partner.”
  — Lindsie on the rarity of true partnership in household labor [29:16]
• “You never fudgeing know what the fuck is going on.”
  — Kail, on the everyday unpredictability and exhaustion of parenting [30:48]
• “Having a partner that does not understand or want to be an equal partner… that’s worse.”
  — Lindsie, on the burden of sharing space but not responsibility [31:57]
• “The mental load of parenting… If US Parents were compensated… $3.8 trillion in economic value.”
  — Lindsie, quoting the Forbes article [34:11]
• “In this mom life, truly taking care of the mental load. One girly at a time.”
  — Kail, landing on the episode’s key theme [44:25]
• “You can clean oil off a duck’s back, then it can clean everything in your house.”
  — Lindsie, on the wonders of Dawn dish soap [44:51]
• Listener Foul Play Memorable Line:
  “As I sit here waiting for the doctor to come in and stick that speculum into my vagina to make sure I have no parts from the toy lodged inside me…” [55:52]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:50 – 07:58: Divorce, pet custody, and handling a family pet’s end of life
• 13:59 – 18:39: Chinese TikTok, Red Note app, and cultural parenting differences
• 18:39 – 22:57: Influencer exploitation scandal and parallels to US incidents
• 27:06 – 40:14: Parental mental load, what it’s worth, and experiences of invisible labor
• 37:30 – 39:40: Practical Valentine’s Day ideas for inclusive classroom gifting
• 45:27 – 54:21: Listener questions: solo teen travel & feeling rejected by a child
• 55:52 – 58:42: “Foul play” story: sex toy mishap and ER visit

Tone & Language

The episode combines humor, empathy, and real talk, providing an honest, relatable perspective on motherhood’s daily grind and emotional complexity. The hosts openly share their vulnerabilities and hard-earned wisdom, punctuating serious topics with laughter and candid banter.

Conclusion

Kail and Lindsie offer a well-rounded, unfiltered conversation on the mental load mothers bear, the intricacies of parenting amid divorce, how to creatively approach family routines, and the necessity of support—among both partners and mom friends. With both hard truths and levity, the hosts validate listeners’ struggles, provide actionable ideas, and spotlight the importance of not carrying the load alone—one girly at a time.

For More:

• Instagram: @coffeeconvospodcast
• Facebook Group: Coffee Convos Community

Listen to full episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.