Cold Case Files
Episode: I Survived – "It Was My Own Husband That Was Doing The Worst Possible Thing To Me"
Date: January 31, 2026
Host: Marisa Pinson / A&E
Runtime: ~38 minutes (excluding ads, intros, outros)
Main Theme
This harrowing episode of Cold Case Files focuses on two remarkable women, Crystal and Joanna, who survived unimaginable abuse at the hands of men they once loved and trusted. Through detailed, first-person testimonies, the episode explores themes of domestic violence, trauma, survival, the complexities of leaving abusive relationships, and the ongoing quest for justice and healing.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Crystal's Story: Surviving Marital Rape and Violence
Background and Early Relationship (02:04–04:05)
- Crystal met Shawn at age 20; they married after college and initially had a happy, loving partnership.
- "He was really good looking, he was very smart, really funny. And we got married when I was 23 after I graduated from college and we had a really, really happy life in those early days." — Crystal (02:15)
First Signs of Abuse (02:41–03:50)
- Abuse began with a backhand slap during an argument, breaking Crystal’s resolve that she wouldn’t tolerate violence in a relationship.
- Legal action: Shawn sentenced to a 52-week anger management course; Crystal reconciles, still hopeful he’d changed.
Escalating Control and Isolation (04:05–06:06)
- After the birth of their first child, Shawn became a stay-at-home dad, but his behavior changed; he grew withdrawn, manipulative, and controlling.
- The death of Shawn’s father compounded his emotional distance, leading to depression and even less engagement with their children and Crystal.
Threats and Daily Fear (06:06–07:13)
- Shawn escalated his control with verbal threats: "If you ever do that again, I'm gonna kill you... I was living under the threat of death." — Crystal (06:38)
- Crystal internalized her fears, writing at church: "I'm afraid that my husband's gonna kill me and my kids will have no mother."
Physical & Sexual Assaults (07:22–16:35)
- Shawn choked and humiliated Crystal in front of their children, further isolating her and deepening her terror.
- Crystal began secretly documenting the abuse, hiding a recorder in her drawer.
The Assault Caught on Tape (09:27–12:11)
- During a forced sexual encounter, Crystal recorded as she repeatedly said "no" and begged for him to stop.
- "My life was being shattered at that moment and it was my own husband that was doing, like, the worst possible thing to me that could ever be done." — Crystal (10:38)
- After the assault, Shawn hit and choked her again, threatening: "When I kill you and I dump your body, I'll make sure to carve that on your forehead. 'I'm confused.'" — Crystal recounting Shawn's words (12:05)
Struggle to Escape (13:20–18:23)
- Despite gathering evidence, Crystal feared law enforcement wouldn’t sufficiently protect her.
- After another brutal rape and choking, Crystal realized she had to escape to survive.
- Ingeniously disengaged home alarm chimes, crept out at night, and called 911 from outside, hiding in case Shawn noticed.
Rescue and the Legal Aftermath (18:54–22:24)
- Police arrested Shawn.
- Despite clear evidence and his conviction, Crystal was court-ordered to pay $1,000/month spousal support to her rapist while he was incarcerated. "I'm making me pay $1,000 a month to my own rapist. It's sick." — Crystal (19:23)
- Legislative efforts: Crystal worked to introduce a bill preventing spousal support for those convicted of violent sexual felonies against spouses—a measure sadly not retroactive for her.
Trial and Conviction (20:09–20:44)
- Shawn found guilty only of forced oral copulation; jury was deadlocked on other charges due to lack of visible resistance—highlighting challenges in prosecuting marital rape, even with evidence.
Lifelong Impact (20:52–22:24)
- Shawn sentenced to six years, required to register as a sex offender.
- Crystal remains vigilant post-release, living in fear but also seeking to help others navigate the justice system and survive similar ordeals.
“I survived because I always kept my kids in mind. I did everything with the end goal of our survival… of just thinking about what it would take to make sure that we were alive at the end of the day.” — Crystal (21:30)
2. Joanna's Story: Teen Dating Violence Escalates to Attempted Murder
Early Trauma and Bond With Her Brother (22:31–23:08)
- Both parents died by age 13; Joanna became protector and surrogate parent to her younger brother.
- "When my parents passed away, I took the big sister role." — Joanna (22:35)
Relationship With Juan: From Friendship to Abuse (23:08–25:35)
- Juan, a long-time friend and high school sweetheart, grew increasingly jealous, controlling, and verbally abusive before becoming physically violent.
- Joanna describes being manipulated, isolated from friends, and subject to increasing aggression.
Breaking Up and Escalation (25:40–27:05)
- Joanna finally ends the two-year relationship.
- Juan refuses to accept the breakup, employs stalking and escalating intimidation.
The Attack: Rape and Life-Threatening Assault (27:05–29:34)
- Juan climbs through her window, threatens her with two knives, forces her into another chance, and then rapes her.
- "I know it was [rape] because I didn’t want any part of it… After everything was over, I remember I just felt lost… and how disgusted I felt at that moment of actually knowing him." — Joanna (30:00)
Reporting and Immediate Aftermath (29:34–32:45)
- Joanna confides in supportive friends, who urge her to contact police. Juan is arrested but only put on house arrest.
- Juan continues to stalk and terrorize Joanna despite restrictions. She lives in constant fear, sleeping with a knife under her pillow.
Attempted Murder and Survival (32:49–35:18)
- Juan ambushes her outside her home, shoots her in the face with a shotgun, and flees.
- "At that moment, my body just froze... After that, Juan had already shot me in the face." — Joanna (34:00)
- Joanna’s grandmother discovers her, and despite catastrophic injuries ("half of my lower face was gone"), Joanna survives multiple reconstructive surgeries.
Justice and Advocacy (36:17–36:57)
- Juan pleads guilty to attempted aggravated murder, rape, and related charges; sentenced to 27 years, no parole.
- Joanna ultimately forgives him at sentencing: “I forgive him, I pray for him every single day. But whatever he had coming to him, he deserved it.” — Joanna (36:28)
- Now an educator on teen dating violence, she urges others:
“Don't let it get to being physical… The question we should ask is, why is he being that way?... People tend to judge the victim when we should be pointing the finger at the perpetrator.” — Joanna (36:57)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Crystal: "My life was being shattered at that moment and it was my own husband that was doing the worst possible thing to me that could ever be done." (10:38)
- Crystal: “When I kill you and I dump your body, I'll make sure to carve that on your forehead. 'I'm confused.'” (12:11)
- Crystal: "I survived because I always kept my kids in mind. I did everything with the end goal of our survival… of just thinking about what it would take to make sure that we were alive at the end of the day." (21:30)
- Joanna: “He wasn't only my boyfriend, he was also my best friend.” (23:25)
- Joanna: “I know it was [rape] because I didn’t want any part of it… and how disgusted I felt at that moment of actually knowing him…” (30:00)
- Joanna: “People tend to judge the victim when we should be pointing the finger at the perpetrator.” (36:57)
- Joanna: “I survived because of my family, especially my baby brother... I survived because I wanted other young women... to know that they deserve better...” (37:40)
Important Timestamps & Segments
| MM:SS | Segment | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 00:51 | Content warning and episode setup | | 02:04 | Crystal recounts marriage’s early happiness | | 02:41 | Onset of abuse, legal action, attempted reconciliation | | 04:54 | Shawn's father dies, family detachment | | 06:06 | Escalation to threats of lethal violence | | 07:22 | Assault at church event | | 09:27 | Crystal records rape and abuse | | 13:48 | Shawn chokes, rapes, and terrorizes Crystal again | | 17:44 | Crystal’s escape and 911 call | | 18:54 | Police arrest, legal drama over spousal support | | 20:09 | Criminal trial, challenges in prosecuting spousal rape | | 20:44 | Sentencing, legislative advocacy | | 22:31 | Joanna’s background, losing both parents | | 23:08 | Early relationship with Juan, controlling behaviors | | 25:40 | Breakup, Juan’s stalking escalates | | 27:05 | Home invasion, knife threat, rape | | 30:00 | Joanna reports rape, police involvement | | 32:49 | Attempted murder—Juan shoots Joanna | | 35:18 | Joanna’s survival story, recovery | | 36:17 | Juan’s arrest, sentencing, Joanna forgives | | 36:57 | Joanna’s advocacy message for young women |
Tone and Language
Both Crystal and Joanna articulate their trauma and survival with raw honesty, emotional clarity, and an urgent desire to educate and empower others. The narrators maintain a sober, respectful tone, emphasizing the reality and prevalence of intimate partner violence and the failures—and hopes—of the justice system.
Conclusion
This episode of Cold Case Files serves as a sobering look at the realities of domestic and dating violence, the long journey to justice for survivors, and the resilience needed to endure both the crimes and their aftermath. Both narratives reinforce the importance of listening to survivors, advocating for systemic change, and remembering that survival is as much about courage and community as it is about escape.
If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, please reach out for help.
