Bever's Yuk-Em-Ups with The Calvins Triplets (Jason Mantzoukas, Taran Killam, Paul Brittain, Ryan Gaul)

Summary

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Comedy Bang Bang: Bever’s Yuk-Em-Ups with The Calvins Triplets

Main Theme

This riotous, character-heavy installment of Comedy Bang Bang, hosted by Scott Aukerman, features a chaotic reunion with the Calvins Triplets (Jason Mantzoukas, Taran Killam, Paul Brittain, and Ryan Gaul) for an episode that gleefully blurs the lines between improv, sketch, and surreal podcasting. The episode bounces among catchphrase riffs, parody commercials, immersive ranch visits, horse fighting, wild new taffy flavors, and a meta-musical-within-a-podcast. Standout elements include a new joke book (“Bever’s Yuk-Em-Ups”), inventive taffy (and liqueur!) pitches, and an in-universe kidnapping that leads to a ramshackle immersive theater experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

Rapid-Fire Banter and Running Gags

• Opening Catchphrases and Bit Riffs
  • Jason Mantzoukas introduces a new catchphrase (“Take my pants now, I’m naked down there – whoa, living on a prayer”) with Scott’s bemused skepticism ([02:04]).
  • A cameo from “Louis Armstrong” and recurring jokes about catchphrases and the Kool Aid Man vs. Satchmo ([01:35–02:35]).
• Meta Podcasting & TV References
  • Jokes about the aging podcast and comparisons to podcast hosts who 'unlock the gates and quit' ([03:47]).
  • Recurring jokes about television appearances (Thunderpants, Taskmaster) and musical theater stints ([05:58], [09:19]).

Comics, Charity, and Floppy Floppies

• Aukerman and Mantzoukas discuss old comics by the door. Jason reveals he eBays or donates the “floppy” comics to children’s hospitals ([07:02–08:38]).
• A running joke emerges of “where do I drop these flops for these hospitals?” ([08:31]).

New York Stories and Live Shows

• Jason relays visiting New York with his wife to see Scott on Broadway and a live Taskmaster show. They reminisce about the rabid (but polite) Taskmaster audience and Lisa Gilroy’s aggressive banter ([08:52–13:09]).
• Mantzoukas teases, “I’m gonna be on series 21,” hinting at future Taskmaster involvement ([12:24]).

The Calvins Triplets Return

• Introduction of Bever Hopeox, Chico Hands & Bisbee St. Hancock—proprietors of Calvin’s Family Bee, Honey, Taffy Farm, and Horse-Fighting Ranch ([15:21]).
• Their “ranch” is up the 405—directions hilariously wander into absurdity ([18:01–19:40]).
• Taffy business lore: They introduce new taffy flavors with wild acronyms, such as Backwards Apple (“core first”), Sea Water (“C–Water”), BlackBerry (a lengthy acronym and essentially “Backwards Apple” again). Claimed flavor count: over 14,000 ([20:22–23:13]).

Joke Book Launch: “Bever’s Yuk-Em-Ups”

• Bever unveils a joke book “written” by AI, “not proofread.” The book’s title is an absurdist acronym ([23:51–24:40]).
• Joke samples, e.g.:
  • “What do you call a day without the sun? Single parent.” – Bisbee ([31:11]).
• Horses are said to dislike the jokes—“the horses…there was a bit of an uprising.” ([31:32–32:00]).

Horse Fighting and Ranch Economics

• Discussion of horse-fighting, taffy for dogs, running the ranch, and making McDonald’s-like real estate plays: “If you own the land on which you are leasing out to these fighting horses, it’s just a beautiful, constant stream of money.” – Bever ([26:19]).
• Their land is one long, one-foot-wide strip across the US, connecting California and Tampa ([27:10–27:22]).

Commercial Parodies and Improv Scenes

• The Triplets attempt to record a commercial and are encouraged to play with tone and celebrity impressions. Notable is Bisbee’s wild Cary Grant/Brad Pitt library heist sequence ([44:55–46:08]).
• Parody commercials are performed in various dramatic and throwaway styles, inviting the audience to remix or add music ([41:00–43:39]).

Immersive Experience: The Audience is Kidnapped!

• Chico suggests they kidnap Jason and Scott and take them to the ranch for an “immersive experience” ([48:13]).
• The show “transports” to the ranch via staged abduction – including bags over heads, car noise, and taffy taste tests ([50:35–51:39]).
• At the immersive ranch, horse fights happen, increasingly surreal things occur (horses carry guns, horses microwave each other), and audience members are revealed to be kidnapped podcasters and celebrities ([52:10–68:12]).
• A show-within-a-show unfolds, with Brian Cox, Barack Obama, Springsteen, Louis Armstrong, and other celebrity impressions.

Meta-Musical, Escalating Absurdity

• The in-universe show consists of crowd work, horse impressions, and reprises of the Cary Grant library scene, quickly devolving into increasingly wild bits ([61:09–65:05]).
• The “second act” is a musical number parodying Family Ties, snakes eating their tails (Ouroboros), and ends in group singalongs ([80:20–84:27]).
• The group reflects on how expectations were smartly lowered by the deadly first act, making the second act feel like a masterpiece ([84:13]).

Final Gags and Plugs

• “Plugs” segment includes mentions of Taskmaster 19, “How Did This Get Made?”, taffy liqueurs, and a plug for the Gillette Mach 3 razor – allegedly soon to be a horse-fighting sponsorship ([93:08–95:24]).
• Bever advocates for Adult Swim’s 'Primal' and the anime 'Freerin: Beyond Journey’s End', and the Calvin’s world domination plan is extended to Jason and Scott ([97:03–98:48]).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Take my pants now, I’m naked down there – whoa, living on a prayer.” – Jason Mantzoukas ([02:04])
• “Comedy Bang Bang, the world's most ground beefing podcast... No other podcast is as ground beefing as Comedy Bang Bang.” – Jason Mantzoukas ([03:25])
• “If you own the land on which you are leasing out to these fighting horses... it’s a beautiful, constant stream of money.” – Bever Hopeox ([26:19])
• “What do you call a day without the sun? Single parent.” – Bisbee St. Hancock ([31:11])
• “We have over 14,000 [taffy flavors].” – Bisbee ([22:21])
• “Animals... just in general, we found that out the hard way...[horses] don’t want to live in a world of levity when they know their lives are about to come to an abrupt end...” – Scott Aukerman ([31:37])
• “My left foot, left foot down. That was the original title of My Left Foot.” – Bever Hopeox ([18:22])
• “So, Bisbee, do you think you could do the second act now?” – Jason Mantzoukas
  “Oh, it’s a group number.” – Bisbee ([77:05])
• “This is like Gilbert and Sullivan…Topsy Turvy!” – Scott Aukerman ([81:49])
• “Horse beards.” – Bisbee and group, discussing why razors might matter at a horse fighting ranch ([95:45])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Catchphrase Riffing and Louis Armstrong Bit: [01:31–03:15]
• Comics and Donation Banter: [07:02–08:38]
• Broadway and Taskmaster Experiences: [08:52–13:09]
• Calvin’s Triplets Return & Taffy Flavors: [15:21–23:13]
• Joke Book Announcement & Joke Samples: [23:51–31:11]
• Horse Fighting Ranch Economics: [25:11–27:22]
• First “Live” Commercials & Celebrity Impressions: [41:00–46:08]
• Audience Kidnapping & Immersive Ranch: [48:13–68:04]
• Musical Second Act / Family Ties Parody: [80:39–84:27]
• Plugs & Closing Bits: [92:01–100:30]

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Tone & Style

The episode is pure Comedy Bang Bang: fast, free-associative, self-referential, and gleefully anarchic. The language and style are dense with improv non sequiturs, running gags, and surreal asides, veering from affectionate showbiz in-jokes to meta-commentary on podcasting, musicals, and immersive theater. The characters never break; each (especially the Calvins) brings a committed, strange, and specific comedic voice.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a wild, relentless showcase of Comedy Bang Bang’s signature longform character improv and meta-podcast surrealism. You don’t need deep lore knowledge—just a tolerance for horses, puns, acronyms, and fourth-wall vaporization. It’s a great display of Jason Mantzoukas’s comic rapport with Aukerman and the absurd genius of the Calvins Triplets crew.

Famous bits to catch:

• The recurring “Cary Grant with a gun at the library” improv ([44:55–46:08], [65:01–65:12], [86:22–91:13])
• The Family Ties–style musical number ([80:39–84:27])
• The immersive “kidnapping” sequence and ranch “horse fighting” show-within-a-show ([48:13–84:20])
• Wild taffy flavors and acronyms ([20:27–23:13])

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In Summary

Comedy Bang Bang’s “Bever’s Yuk-Em-Ups with The Calvins Triplets” is a laugh-dense, extremely silly episode packed with running gags, surreal character work, and chaotic musical and sketch show parodies. It's both a parody and celebration of showbiz tropes and podcast excess, featuring inventive audio improvisation and a kaleidoscopic, unpredictable structure that will reward listeners who like their comedy off the rails.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

Nirvana the Band the Show the Movie is being hailed as a miracle and absolutely what all our tax dollars should be for. Nirvana the Band to show the movie is 98% certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, this could have insane ramifications.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Critics are raving that it's a laugh riot future classic that'll leave you in disbelief that they didn't get arrested.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I have a feeling that right off

[Bever Hopeox]

the bat they're gonna ask for an encore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Watch it on Digital now. America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

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[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, yeah. Oh, Louie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Louie Armstrong showed up to wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stopping by the studio.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wonderful duet between Reggie and Louie Armstrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

Super quick Louie cameo.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is a super group. He took off his catchphrase by we all expect.

[Scott Aukerman]

And once he says it, he never comes back.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Speaking of catchphrases, let me get through this. Take my pants now I'm naked down there. Whoa. Living on a prayer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, just get to the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Welcome to Comedy Bank.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got to do your catchphrase.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. Oh, no.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, what?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, and I want to thank you to Darren Ro Marinara for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Not going to stick. Maybe if I sang it. Take my pen pants now.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think the melody is?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Take my pants now. What is the melody to living on a prayer?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's living on a prayer. Oh, I didn't even make that connection.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Take my pants.

[Bever Hopeox]

Louie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know modern music. And when I say modern, I mean 40 years old.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thanks, Lou Satchmo. What an exciting side.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He jumped on an eagle and flew away.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he did.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was the eagle.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's. He's saying the classic Louis Armstrong. Oh, yeah. But he's smashing in and out Kool Aid man style.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, he's smash. He's having sex with Kool Aid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think, like, Kool Aid man is just ripping off Louis Armstrong?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think he might be. I mean, they're similarly built.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yep. Same catchphrase. Their whole thing is breaking through walls.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Got a big shelf.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big badonka dog. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's what Lou Armstrong is known for.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you didn't get the response you wanted, you said, big shelf. As if I wasn't clocking that you were talking about.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sometimes you are talking so much. You're.

[Chico Hands]

You're talking.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're not clocking.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm. Oh, I am listening.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're a talker, not a clocker.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can talk and clock at the same time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, let's welcome you to the show. By the way, this is Comedy Bang Bang, the world's most ground beefing podcast. My name is Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what it is now?

[Bever Hopeox]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, by the way, I love it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's a ground beefing podcast. No other podcast is as ground beefing as Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so true. Because I feel like this podcast has beefed down the barriers that have. That have withheld so much comedy gold keepers.

[Bever Hopeox]

Exactly.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The gate bers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. We can't just.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We can't do another substitution.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we can't. We. It has to just be break.

[Jason Manzoukas]

By the way, Comedy Bang Bang. We won't quit. Unlike other podcast hosts who just decide to hang it up after 16, 17 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's just as if they want to unlock the gates and walk

[Jason Manzoukas]

away and just walk out. No, I'm not going to quit. I may get fired. I may decide not to do it anymore, but I'm never going to quit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I love that about you. I love that about you. Even in the face of inarguable statistics and metrics that are telling you evidence that would. People don't otherwise. People don't like it anymore.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Speaking of not liking it, we're going straight to the ready. Co host. My name is Scott Aukerman. I don't know if I said that, but my co host today, you know him as the JM of all JMs. Better than Jersey Mike's. Better than. What other JMs do we have?

[Scott Aukerman]

Jack McBrayer.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, hard pass guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a turkey.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What a turd.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he has no idea we're even talking about this. Yeah, he hates podcasts and thinks they're dumb.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Won't even appear on one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doesn't even understand how you get one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I ask him every single day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see him all the time. And I'm like, how come you won't be on the podcast? And he's like, what is that?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Has no idea. He's just a country bum.

[Scott Aukerman]

He said, what channel on the radio do I get it on?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know him as on television. Television. Honestly, it's been A minute since you had, like a major, major role on something. So it is trying to figure out exactly what it is. I know you're on Thunderpants or whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm on Thunderpants. You know, I'm. I'm on Thunder Pants.

[Bever Hopeox]

What is that guy?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Where the guys are hurling lightning bolts at everybody.

[Bever Hopeox]

Thunderp Jackson.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Louie might be in for the show now. The third appearance is. You have established a pattern and now you are baked in.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, no,

[Jason Manzoukas]

Louie, you can leave. You can leave if you want. Oh, his catchphrase again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course. Percy Jackson.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Percy Jackson. And. Or the Olympians.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they have. They do have Thunderpants.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And you also were in a little television show by the name of Taskmaster. Series 19, Season 19.

[Scott Aukerman]

Appearing now on YouTube for free the entire episode.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You can watch them all. He's a great friend of the show. He's been on this show since the very beginning. Please welcome back Jason man.

[Bever Hopeox]

Zooka.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hey, what's going on?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, how you doing, pal?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so first questions first. Yeah, okay. And I'm. I'm. I'm really.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let's do the first question first and the second.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been wanting to ask you this question since I answered held. I'm clocking. I'm clocking everything you're saying. Don't you worry. I. I believe in concurrent talking.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's how we talk when we're talking to each other.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Robert Altman back in the 70s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen, we're all miked, so why can't we just talk all the time? Especially if Bob Balaban's here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Honestly, Frank Capper is one of the first people to. To introduce this back in the 30s. He, of course, when in doing movies, you had to wait until the other one was done talking and he was

[Scott Aukerman]

like, what do you. What do you think? I'm gonna wait until Mr. Smith gets to Washington for everybody to start talking the whole.

[Bever Hopeox]

True.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everybody talks the whole dang time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so here's the deal.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a gigantic.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hitting his microphone with his gesticulation.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a gigantic pile of comics by the door. Are you getting rid of comics?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, I am. Do you want any of them?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I might. I don't know. Okay, so here's my question. What is your plan for these comics? Do you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I sell them. I. I have a little ebay shop with. With two P's and an E at the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

O. So I think so It's a little classy. I think you're supposed to put that on Etsy. Not ebay. That' but okay, so you will sell them on ebay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will sell them on ebay. But you're welcome. People know it's one thing. No.

[Scott Aukerman]

So okay, okay. So you're not getting like a Scott Aan personal.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, no. I'm not signing all of these things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Absolute Authority Deluxe edition Sandman going out the door. Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sandman stuff going out the door. Unfortunately.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, now, super quick Q. And we don't have to get too deep into it.

[Chico Hands]

Why

[Jason Manzoukas]

putting aside the discourse.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm kidding. Okay, got it. So CU Listen, people don't want to hear us talk about comics, but people

[Jason Manzoukas]

don't want to hear that. That's the thing is like, I know it's very tempting, you and I to talk about comics here, but people don't want to hear that on a podcast. They want to hear about show business.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's what I will say. Here's the one thing I'm going to say that made me think of this entire thing, which is assuming you are going to sell them. Great, Wonderful. If there's stuff that is too broken or too not broken, but too damaged

[Jason Manzoukas]

or worn or weathered.

[Scott Aukerman]

Children's hospitals love getting comics donated. I I so that was my whole

[Jason Manzoukas]

thing, my single issues. I actually donate to all of them great floppy floppies. Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, where do I drop these flops for these hospitals?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now, Jason, you haven't been on the show in a few months. Since 20, I believe I was going

[Scott Aukerman]

to say, I believe this is my first appearance in the new year.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It is in the new year. The listeners may be interested to know that my wife and I, Kulavi Lysack, we took a trip to New York City to go see our little JM on Broadway.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They say the neon lights are bright there, but I had no idea I

[Scott Aukerman]

was on that Great White Way.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Broadway.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys came out to see the show that I was in called All Out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You were in a Broadway show for four weeks?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, by my A brief, a sprint of a run.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And that's not to say that it was canceled after four weeks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was low attendance or performance.

[Scott Aukerman]

That it's a show that went on for six months, but each month the cast is replaced by a new cast.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Totally changed. And how was your experience? Did you get a taste for the fee? I noticed during the theme song that Reggie was singing along with Louie Anderson. You were singing along? You once said that you, you hated musicals and you would never sing and now you're singing along with the theme song. Are you headed back to Broadway?

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's what I'm gonna say. I can't talk about it, but, you know, they're talking about bringing Phantom back, and a lot of people think that I could really deliver that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I heard that they're bringing sound and music back, and I think you would make a great Nazi. Who.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now this interesting. Now this is interesting. And because I feel like that's going to be the big thing for the new Sound of Music is very realistic. Nazis getting shot in the face.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I. I was happy to see you there. It was a big. What a blessing. You there. And then I also went down the street, and I saw you in another show, which is the live Taskmaster shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? I did the Broadway show that I did, and then I left, and I ran three blocks away.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And did you run the entire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, the night you saw it? I did run, because I wasn't sure where I was wise.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. And then I. I think that you waited an hour to come.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did not wait an hour, but I did wait at least 35 minutes. And so. But. But. And yeah. And then did the Taskmaster live show, which was a blast.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was a lot of fun. I. We. We cool up. And I went to that, too. It was thrilled to see it happening

[Scott Aukerman]

two nights in a row. And it couldn't have been more fun to watch people do Taskmaster.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Live on stage.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They had a selection of people from the audience who won their way on stage, as well as a few comedians. Seth Meyers was there and John Oliver on the night that I was there, and they. Everyone competed in Taskmaster. I was very, very fun. A very fun show.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a blast. And there was, like, such a.

[Bever Hopeox]

It.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like there's something wonderful about Taskmaster. When I went there to do it, the audiences are so rabid and so obsessed with the show, but are nonetheless still British, so polite, and so. How absolutely berserk American audiences were going. I very much enjoyed watching it unnerved Greg and Alex. How rapturous did they.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do they sort of look to each other and say, like, why aren't we just doing it here?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that. Well, I do think they really were like, holy. This is. It's not just. Of course they know it's popular, has

[Jason Manzoukas]

popularity, but sure, they're seeing the data, the numbers. They're out there with their reading glasses on, getting the printouts.

[Scott Aukerman]

They've got a jeweler's loop on the. On the YouTube numbers. But. But I don't think they get anything close to this kind of like.

[Bever Hopeox]

Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like chaos, verbal approbation, craziness. There's clips online, and you can see it. People are going nuts. And I think they were really taken aback. In a good way.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It was great. And then you came out and surprised everyone. No one knew you were going to be there, and it was a really fun night. Then I went backstage and Alex actually knew who I was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And. Which led me to believe that I'm gonna be on series 21.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I don't know if you're allowed to say, but do you want to talk about your experiences at the house?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was confused the entire time.

[Scott Aukerman]

What am I doing here? I'm not even on the show.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was just trying to break in. It was. It was a blast. It was a great trip. It was fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

The second night, I will say the second night I did it. Lisa Gilroy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was one of the comedian guests and was as relentlessly going after Alex as she does you on this show, and there was nothing more delightful.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know that she's ever been a guest on this show, but I've heard of her.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Jason Manzoukas]

And I need to. I need to educate myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you should. You should get to know Gilroy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, it was great. And. But we're. We're happy to have you back here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Los Angeles, 92 degrees today here in sunny LA. March, early March, 92.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. But you're back now. Anything on the horizon? You. We talked about. You haven't had, like, a big, major role in a while. What's going.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I don't. I don't.

[Chico Hands]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? I'm really. You said this comes out Monday. No, I got nothing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You got nothing?

[Bever Hopeox]

Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, so something's being announced after Monday.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll see. Okay, we'll see.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right. This is good to know.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll see.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Be on the hunt. Enter into your Google searches. You know what?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm trying to work more this year. I had my back operated on last year, so I'm back in action by you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're like the Looney Tunes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was like, my back hurts. And you were like, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos about back surgery. Let me do it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let me do it. And it's ironic that you're back in action when it was your back preventing

[Scott Aukerman]

you from being out of action. Yeah, my back is back.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Crazy how life works these days.

[Scott Aukerman]

How crazy is it? That life works that way. Right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

35 crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. It's the. The data.

[Scott Aukerman]

The stats that. Oh, whoa. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Statistics.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

For the layperson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But we're glad to have you back and back here on Comedy Bang Bang. And I would love to have you on the show several times this year, but we need to get to our next guest.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you would like you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would like to.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you would love to have me on several times this year.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wait, no. You have been on this year already.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You were on episode 950.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, I forgot. You're right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Anyway, good to have you back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thrilled to be here. Ignore everything we've said. Let's get the guests in here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will say in between nine, 50 in this one. We did do that trip to New York, so there you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what it was. Okay, That's.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, let's get to our next guests. Jason, I'm not sure if you know these guys. They are some entrepreneurs. We have entrepreneurs back on Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank God. You know, we're back in that era where people are picking themselves up by their bootstraps and doing it themselves.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Finally, some sort of combination of the tariffs in the Strait of Hormuz.

[Bever Hopeox]

Hormuz.

[Jason Manzoukas]

People are saying it's. It's time to get back into business.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. Yes, people are saying that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They're saying, like, let's. Let's dust off our hands and pull our bootstraps up and get back into business. These three gentlemen are no exception. They have a business out here called the Calvin's Family Bee, Honey Taffy Farm and Horse Fighting Ranch. Please welcome back to the show Bever Hopeox, Chico Hands, and Bisbee St. Hancock, AKA the Calvin's Triplets.

[Bever Hopeox]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now.

[Bever Hopeox]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's that?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's me. Bisbee St. Hancock.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, Bisbee. Saying, are you usually the first one to talk?

[Scott Aukerman]

And do you always talk so quietly as if. As if you're not sure you if it's right?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, I'll be honest. I am the beta of the group, so I do.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're. You're worse than the beta. You're the. What's after Beta? The like.

[Bever Hopeox]

I don't know.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's as low as I've gone.

[Bever Hopeox]

Cicada. There it is, Scott.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Bever Hopeox]

And jth, great to be back here in the studio.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bever, welcome back to the show. And then we also have. Chico is over here.

[Chico Hands]

That's me. How we doing, fellas? Scotland, great to see you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wonderful to See you, Chico.

[Chico Hands]

As well as you, Mr. Manzuka. Hello, Broadway.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, we. We met, I think last year maybe.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, okay, you guys, you do know each other then, I think it was two years ago, I believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, two years ago for sure. We were, we were reminiscing about, I believe, a trial that we'd all attend.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh. Oh, yeah, that's ringing.

[Bever Hopeox]

Some sort century trial.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Which one? This one.

[Bever Hopeox]

This century. Very realistic. Because of the last 25, 26 years. The OJ one was huge.

[Chico Hands]

Gun. Cow. Last century.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yep.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Welcome back to the show, guys.

[Bever Hopeox]

John Proctor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

That was a crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was crazy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, what are some underrated trials? You know, I mean, we get all the, all the big ones, but like, we always talk about the trial of the century. But what are those? Underrated? Below the radar, mom and Occidental.

[Bever Hopeox]

I did that for a trial period.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like that.

[Bever Hopeox]

Underwhelming.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you have any.

[Bever Hopeox]

I wasn't gonna wait the three to six months.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Bever Hopeox]

Little dry mouth.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Suicidal thoughts.

[Bever Hopeox]

Nuremberg.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

I think NBERG was a side effect of minoxidil.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, welcome back to the show, guys. It's wonderful to see you. You, you've been on so many years. I believe you, you, you must have been on for the p. This is our 17th year almost, and you've been on for 14 of them or so. You, you're wonderful guests. And of course you run the Calvin's family Bee honey taffy farm and horse fight. That again. That's off of some freeways, I think.

[Chico Hands]

Well, it's up north a bit. So coming from LA, you'd want to get on the 405.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Chico Hands]

And just shoot right on up north.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Shoot up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Shoot on up north.

[Bever Hopeox]

You know, left foot down 405 from

[Jason Manzoukas]

LA just goes maybe a couple of miles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Chico Hands]

Well, then you got, you got a

[Bever Hopeox]

left foot down, lead foot, left foot down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

Which. My left foot is my lead foot. And it makes breaking very different.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was the original title of My

[Bever Hopeox]

Left Foot, I believe. Side effects of minoxid. My be led. Left foot.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So you go up the 405 and. And you're there.

[Bever Hopeox]

No, it's in Valencia.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, we've never have.

[Bever Hopeox]

We never said that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We never said that.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's right there. Cross across the freeway from cattle.

[Chico Hands]

We're trying to open up an annex in Valencia for, for the population right here in la. But, but to get to the ranch, you're going to have to take the 405, get off on the 406.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, exit the Ram. But don't do anything nasty, man business, Right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right off.

[Bever Hopeox]

I saw your hand go for your belt loop and I got nervous.

[Chico Hands]

Every time I say get off, he makes a big deal. Like I was talking about sex stuff.

[Jason Manzoukas]

21 positions in a one night stand.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's just always. This is a Prince quote there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What you want to eat, Victoria? Ribs. I don't serve ribs. Well, it's. You'll find it. Once you hit the 405, keep going up to the 406, then the 407, then successive numbers.

[Chico Hands]

Yeah. The 408 to 409. 409 is more or less the formula. Yeah, just a great formula.

[Bever Hopeox]

And Janet, don't lose those directions.

[Chico Hands]

Circular highway. Get right on off. And we're right off on Calvin's Triplet Ranch Way Boulevard.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You got the street named after you guys. Finally. Oh, you spray paint painted. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was talking, not clocking.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's all right. Don't worry about it. Keep moving.

[Bever Hopeox]

Now you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of course, during October. That was taffy season.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And you. You watched all of the Walking Dead, Is that right? Including all.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Every Halloween, we watch all of the

[Jason Manzoukas]

Walking Dead, including all the spin offs.

[Bever Hopeox]

Right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

With Carol and Bob and Fear the Walking Head.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And we read the comics to each other.

[Bever Hopeox]

We read us the comics.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We came up with a couple of new taffy flavors, too, Scott.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'd love to hear these.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Backwards apple.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What does that mean? Backwards apple. Meaning it tastes like the core first and then.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Nailed it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Cool.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then once you get in the middle there, there's the. The apple flavor that we all love.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Seed to skin, we call it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

Easy there. Exit. The bathroom exit. Okay, that.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right. Sea water. Sea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sea water.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now is that sea stands for something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that different than salt water?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

No, it is. It's a C. Dash Water.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, okay. What does the C stand for? Don't mind me.

[Chico Hands]

Never.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

They wouldn't let us put it on the.

[Bever Hopeox]

For my belt loops again. No, no. Different town.

[Chico Hands]

Sky.

[Bever Hopeox]

Different. Oh.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh. Is that another.

[Bever Hopeox]

So this is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's an acronym.

[Bever Hopeox]

It is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, okay. What does that stand for?

[Bever Hopeox]

Bless you. Untethered. Nether Collectible. Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This sounds delicious.

[Bever Hopeox]

It actually did black magic.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And.

[Bever Hopeox]

But you know what?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

The third one is my favorite.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

BlackBerry.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's. That's a pretty standard flavor.

[Bever Hopeox]

Actually.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's an acronym.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What does BlackBerry say?

[Bever Hopeox]

Be.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You've been elected.

[Bever Hopeox]

It stands for BlackBerry licorice. Apple, parenthesis backwards, Celeste, your king time. But everybody really, really yummy time. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, This. I mean, this sounds great.

[Scott Aukerman]

That does sound very.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's basically backwards apple again.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

A little different flavors, but it's really yummy.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many flavors total do you have?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What is that? We counted them. We counted them. This fall, I think we have over

[Chico Hands]

14,000.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Just over 14,000.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

Last year alone.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you're introducing new flavors, are you retiring? Flavors are there now some that are no longer.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you putting them in the Disney

[Scott Aukerman]

vault or the Calvin's Vault or raising their jerseys to the ceiling?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We did retire a couple. We retired stick.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Stick. That's right. I think we talked about that last time. Right?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Stick didn't sell. Yeah, I loved it.

[Chico Hands]

It's good. But it's pretty much the same as branch. And that's what I was saying in our.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Branch is one of your top sellers.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I disagree. Branch had leave. Stick didn't have leaves.

[Bever Hopeox]

Branch is still bach attached.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Bever Hopeox]

Stick done fall down.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

There it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thought at all about doing taffy for dogs. Oh, Taffy for dogs. I feel like Branch and stick would be.

[Bever Hopeox]

We thought about it, but ended up being a little rough.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hey, Bever.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now, Be, you were telling me you have a joke book coming out.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right. This man be, AKA Calvin Smith's Calvins parenthetical, AKA Bever Ho Pox Alpha Be in. In the English tongue. I was doing the old English. I'm a big Tolkien. Great.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That works.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You had. You had AI right. Most of that book.

[Bever Hopeox]

I. And I did not proofread it. Nope. And it's just called Beva's Yucca Mupps.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bever's Yucca Muffs.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Wow.

[Bever Hopeox]

Which is an acronym. Okay, take it away.

[Chico Hands]

Oh, Bevis Yucca Mucks. Give me a piece of paper for no reason. Bevis Yucca Mupps is book. Everybody. Everybody is really apostrophe susceptible.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know, Even the Oz in there.

[Bever Hopeox]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Bever Hopeox]

Come on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

With a K. Uhhuh.

[Bever Hopeox]

Uh huh.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Oh, yeah. I. I somehow guessed it.

[Chico Hands]

My story.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think we forgot the U and the P in there.

[Bever Hopeox]

Maybe you take care of your bathroom business on your own.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm reaching for my bell. Wow. Well, this is big news. Big news. But. So you're retiring some flavors. New flavors. A new joke book. You guys are just. You have your fingers in so many pies. What a big year. Yeah, Big year.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Have to reach out. You gotta. You gotta diversify in this economy. Make sure we're still Bringing in some food and for. We're very hungry all the time. As we've told you. The horses eat. God. They go through thousands of pounds of. Of food every day. We have to make sure we're making money.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. The. The horses. Of course. On your course. They, they as.

[Bever Hopeox]

That is, unless. As discussed.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. As discussed on previous episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the name of that horse. Of course.

[Bever Hopeox]

Of course.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Horse fighting bouts every single day of the year that people can come out and see where horses beat each other to death.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Death.

[Bever Hopeox]

Greatest sport in the world.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much. This is a good question. How much more.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I love that you're judging and rating your question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's a great. Guys, here's a great question and I'm sure you're not used to hearing great questions. How much is the. Your income predicated on the horse fighting? And, and because are you the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you the house money for these? That's what I'm wondering, you know, are you. Does the house always win when it comes to these, these, these bouts that

[Scott Aukerman]

you're doing or are you just hosting the event and it's a flat fee for hosting the event?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Little of both.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right. And yeah, we, we. We borrowed from the McDonald's sort of business infrastructure.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah.

[Bever Hopeox]

You know, literally.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You borrowed a bunch of money from them.

[Bever Hopeox]

We borrowed from them. And Michael Keaton was like, if you own the land on which you are leasing out to these fighting horses.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Bever Hopeox]

Their teams. It's just a beautiful like constant stream of money.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Sorry, sorry.

[Bever Hopeox]

More of like a. A cyclical like hand feeds mouth foot fists.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oroboros, if you will.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. So you own your ranch.

[Bever Hopeox]

New flavors or a borough staffing.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We do own the ranch. Well, they own the ranch. They let me stay there. I have my place in Tampa still.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh yeah. That's the satellite ranch that you used to own before you were adopted.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right, Scott.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And we found out that you were a brother.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right. Gent got.

[Bever Hopeox]

He's not heavy.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'm in their brother.

[Chico Hands]

And we do.

[Scott Aukerman]

For.

[Chico Hands]

For anyone who's forgotten, we. It is technically one ranch because we have a one foot wide strip of

[Jason Manzoukas]

land all the way across the United States.

[Chico Hands]

Directly across the United States with the one up in Northern California.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Right to the bay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow. And so you have this going on obviously. And, but, but 20, 26, you know, if I know the Calvin's triplets, there's always something new that you're working on. You know the, the horse fighting has been well covered. The taffy has been well covered. But what's going on in the world of the triplets now?

[Bever Hopeox]

Joke book wasn't enough already?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean it sounds like you've only read.

[Bever Hopeox]

I've been maybe too confident. It's the first time where I'm checking myself and I appreciate that. I thought for sure this was going to be biggest money maker enterprise of in triplets history. The joke books now we know stands for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. But. But we're living in a world Bevers where you're the only name on the book. I can't help but notice that neither I know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Were you guys both a little upset that you're not part of the book?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Silent co authors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Silent co ops. Is that.

[Bever Hopeox]

What is that his words?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, we knew he was the personality of the group.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's he was gonna sell it.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's the face of the Calvin's.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right. I hate to admit it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So what. What percentage of the book did you guys write?

[Chico Hands]

Well it's not so much about sitting down and writing. It's just everybody's always joking and a goofing around coming up with a bon mot.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Or is a big part of this book just describing these guys like during the day and just like goofing around.

[Bever Hopeox]

We would borrow. We'd. Yes. And each other. We didn't spy each other. And then as silent riders, I'd go write it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And so make them write down a transcription of what they just said.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right. And they're going to remember better they said it. Right.

[Chico Hands]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if they're. If even if you're not around, they're trained to write down every funny thing that happens to them.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That is correct.

[Bever Hopeox]

That is. I'm a bit of a. A tinkerer, a flinkerer, a rip rinking historian about Lincoln.

[Chico Hands]

Her old stinking her.

[Bever Hopeox]

And okay, only when you cook.

[Chico Hands]

But writing it down.

[Bever Hopeox]

I have my own little he he shed in the back of the. Of the fighting wrench there. And I like to. I like to weld, I like to solder. And I invented these little ankle bracelets that I attached to my dear beloved brothers that will give them a little zap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

If they're chuckling, if they're doing a

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

yuck them up of their own and

[Jason Manzoukas]

they know to write it down.

[Chico Hands]

Write it right down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So basically you guys are writing what you're doing all day. This is almost like a book. It's almost like a book about just like you guys lives basically.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're publishing their diaries?

[Jason Manzoukas]

In a lot of ways, yeah. What was the heartbreaking work of staggering genius? What do you call that kind of book?

[Scott Aukerman]

A memoir.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Memoir.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, this is the French. This is funny though. This is very funny. It's full of. It's packed full of jokes. It's. You know when you pour a cup of coffee and you're like God damn it, put it. It's too close to the brim.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so cool that there's a book that has jokes in it because for me, whenever need a joke, I just, I just ask AI twit. I just ask Gro. I just say Grock. Tell me a great funny joke, you know, that I can use at a party to really impress people.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So I mean Bisby, I see you have the book right there. Do you read one of the pages?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You got it. Pick a page. Pick or pick a subject.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Cuz it's 69 if you know what I'm saying. You want subject or page?

[Chico Hands]

Where he goes again, Slap his hand away.

[Bever Hopeox]

Scotland. Bad Scotland.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're going to have to get one of those electric electrical ankle bracelets from Scott.

[Bever Hopeox]

Belt loop. Zap. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Does it come a little thicker than an ankle, if you know what I mean?

[Bever Hopeox]

Hell, that's what she said.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, what do you call, what do you call a day without the sun?

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Single parent.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's actually more of a joke than I thought it was going to be.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It was actually more a joke than I thought it was going.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? If that's the level of joke that's

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

in, that's the best.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's do more. Let's do more.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Worried that it's not going to live up to that.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I will say this. Guess who does like these jokes?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, who?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who's that?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

The horses.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, horses.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Horses are not funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Animals just in general, we found that

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

out the hard way. Serious. They, they. There was a bit of an uprising.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh well, I can imagine half of them realize that the very next day they're going to be led to their deaths in a horse fight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, they are fighting for their lives.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They don't want to hear humor.

[Scott Aukerman]

They don't want to live in a world of levity when they know that their lives are about to come to an abrupt end at the hands of. Of or at the hooves.

[Bever Hopeox]

In theory, I would agree with both of you. It's a deadly serious matter when your life is on the line. And yeah, I am. I'd be remiss to not look back at perhaps the greatest fisticuffs fight of all time. Mr. Muhammad Ali.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, you would be remiss not to mention him.

[Bever Hopeox]

He's funny.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Funny man.

[Bever Hopeox]

He's always cracking wild.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I watch that movie Ali and Yeah.

[Bever Hopeox]

I mean that movie slaps. Yeah. And Will.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And Will Smith, you know, is already funny. So to add. Is that the book, by the way?

[Bever Hopeox]

Not too late.

[Jason Manzoukas]

A little epilogue.

[Bever Hopeox]

I got it.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I got it. I'm right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But so I mean you. You disagree. You think the horses would.

[Bever Hopeox]

In theory. I. I thought that at least we'd have one or two great ones. Just with how many horses coming in, how many birds, how many training mon. As we have to have force and horses. And then you know, the burials, the incinerations in the freezers. Beating up freezer horse meat that's left

[Jason Manzoukas]

over from the day before from the dead horses.

[Chico Hands]

Th them back out in the giant microwave. Etc.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. You guys do have that giant microwave.

[Scott Aukerman]

Giant microwave.

[Bever Hopeox]

One of my other tinker.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're an inventor.

[Bever Hopeox]

I'm an adventure. So sue me.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But you make. You make things giant that already exist.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah. It's easier to see that way. How's it going, Scarlet?

[Scott Aukerman]

And mostly it's just for horse stuff.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's a lot of horse technology. Yes. Yeah, of course.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of course. This is a horse microwave.

[Bever Hopeox]

Of course. Of course.

[Chico Hands]

I would say a couple things here. We talk more. We mentioned the microwave before, but Scott's always so surprised by when we talk about that stuff. That's because he's never taken us up on that invitation to come visit the ranch.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. I. I've never been by. I really want to go at some point.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to. We should go together.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Make a day trip of it or.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'd love to go up. I'd to love. Love to. I'd love to see the. Get some taffy. I'd love to. And tell me. The one thing I feel like we almost never touch on is the honey. You know that sweet treat known as honey.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. Because it is Calvin's family bee honey, taffy farm and horse fighting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Which. And I. And I love knowing that it's honey from bees.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Is this a family of bees?

[Bever Hopeox]

It's a byproduct. It's. It's a. It's a beehive. If you may recall. The bees are mostly there to stick the hooves of the fighting horses so they swell up to boxing glove size.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's what the beast is there for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. I do remember that Sort of just as aftermath a byproduct.

[Chico Hands]

And then we just make the taffy from that. So it's all, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's an Oroboros, if you will.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's just, it's just a plain Oroboro.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's. Honestly, we've described it like that many times. That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, I, I want to hear how you train the beast to do this, but we need. We're coming up on the break here. Oh, my God. Do you mind telling that on air?

[Bever Hopeox]

Maybe after a break?

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, Bever, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Jason Manzoukas, more Bever Hopebox, more Chico hands, more Bisby St. Hancock and the Calvin Striplets.

[Scott Aukerman]

And one last appearance from Louis Armstrong.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. Just one more. And it can't be now because we want to save him in case something happens.

[Bever Hopeox]

We'll be right back,

[Scott Aukerman]

Kool Aid man.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, we're gonna be right back with

[Jason Manzoukas]

more comedy backpack after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just beginning or ready to grow your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website site. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, premium workshops, so much stuff. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You know what they say, cold days, goal days. You know how they say that all the time, right? No. But cold days are here and you have big goals during these cold days. So they're almost like goal day, cold days, gold days. It makes perfect sense. Anyway, during these cold days and gold days, you probably don't have any time to cook, right? Well, factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs. So I guess the the process is there's a Bunch of dietitians. I wonder how many dietitians they have on staff. Probably hundreds. They're all in their cubes. You can't make dietitians stay in cubicles. Right? They must all have like, like corner. Corner offices, right? A lot of corners in this building. I'm imagining with hundreds of dietitians, they design the meals, then they pass it off to the chefs who then go like, well what am I supposed to do? And then they craft them. I don't know what the process is, but it works. Factor has a variety of meals that fit your goals and schedule, whether that's healthier eating, calorie management or more protein. And every meal meal is made with quality functional ingredients including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients and healthy fats. Now I got a bunch of factor stuff I've had. Look, honestly, I've had factor for years now. It's great stuff that tastes good. They were a sponsor and they gave me some free stuff and honestly I've been on the. What's the opposite of being on the payroll? I've been paying them, if you can imagine. I've been paying Factor. Factor. It's great stuff. Head over to factor meals.com Bang Bang 50 off. I know that's a mouthful. I'll repeat it. Factor meals.com Bang Bang 50 off. Use the code Bang Bang 50 off which I just said to get 50% off. That's how it makes sense. And free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with factor new subscribers only varies by planning plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

Comedy Bang bang. We're back. Jason Manzukas is here of course. Taskmaster series 19 and you excited for series 20. That's probably coming out.

[Scott Aukerman]

20 has already come out. 20.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sorry, no. 21. 21.

[Bever Hopeox]

This comes out on Monday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, the Kamal is going to be on and it's. I'm very excited, I think. And Arman Armando Iannucci who created. Yes, it's a great cast. I've already seen a little bit of it, and it's very funny.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, Mr. Scottley.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

How come you've never let us put one of our commercials on your TV show here?

[Scott Aukerman]

I.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's not a TV show, it's a podcast. He says begrudgingly. And I would love to have a commercial. You've never sent me any commercial. Do you guys want to record right now?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Didn't we send him a bunch of.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, I don't think so.

[Bever Hopeox]

I thought I told Chico to mail it over.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Chico.

[Chico Hands]

I didn't have the mailing address, so I sent it via fax. And Scott, have you been receiving your faxes?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I did not receive any facts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think it's.

[Chico Hands]

Oh, no, no. A facsimile.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Different thing. But I haven't received one of those either.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's also. It's hard to send a. Like, I'm an audio recording. Yes. A message that contains an audio recording.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And video.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. Oh, and video.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, now that's interest as well.

[Jason Manzoukas]

3D. You could send the ones and zeros over. And if I decoded that correctly, they would. They would.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, like, do you guys have. Is there. Do you have a jingle that goes. Do you have.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let's hear a commercial. Let's just lay one down.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You like honey?

[Bever Hopeox]

Do you like horse fighting?

[Chico Hands]

Do you like taffy?

[Bever Hopeox]

Well, yeah. We got a place for you. That's right. Come on down to Kevin stripless horse riding Daffy Bee. Honey. Have a good old flip flop, snippy snippet, snappy good old time with a family of eight O's straight out of LA on the 405 north, turn and get off.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

No family on the 406, but not

[Bever Hopeox]

that type of get off. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday all day long.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Watch the greatest horse writing in all of California and Tampa.

[Chico Hands]

But stay home if you don't like seeing dead horses. Bye.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bye.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

50% off on stick flavored taffy, this octo.

[Bever Hopeox]

I'm like, oh, yeah, there he was. He came in for that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Adding a little star.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah, that was a good friend of ours.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now we know who.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah, that is cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, the only way that I think that could be better is if we replicate it exactly. No, I was gonna just say I feel like all the. The somebody in the audience can put that to music and you can.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think that would be great. The one thing I do want to see, say, is, Bisby, you seem to be doing, like, putting a little. Yeah. Stank on it. I would love to see one where you just threw it away.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, I can do that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You didn't sound like yourself.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, I took a commercial acting class and they told me to pick a character and lean into it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, really? Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I did like an old timey sort of.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who taught the class? Was it one of these guys?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Leslie Khan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Leslie Khan. Okay. The.

[Bever Hopeox]

The constitute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. Yes.

[Bever Hopeox]

Gotta find the thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right. Find the turn, find the reversal.

[Bever Hopeox]

And also, let's just break it down for a little bit and check in with everybody, see how we're doing for about 75% of the class.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, let's. Let's light 50 candles.

[Bever Hopeox]

This is not. Love you, Leslie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Not ringing any bells for me. Never taking an acting class.

[Bever Hopeox]

Be honey, taffy farm and horse. Hot and rare. Bring the whole family. For families of eight or less.

[Chico Hands]

Hope you like taffy and honey and

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

bees and horse fighting. The best horse fighting in all of California and Tampa.

[Chico Hands]

Head on straight on up to 405, get off of the 406, onto the 407th, 408, 409. Just goes round and round in a circle.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It ends up that way, though. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, 50 off on stick candy. All this October.

[Chico Hands]

Stay home if you don't like dead horses.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, yeah. I mean, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's getting better. And I will say that had. I'm gonna say at least 85, same material. Yeah, well, I was impressive. No, no, that is.

[Chico Hands]

That is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Those are high.

[Bever Hopeox]

We made some edits on the fly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, now, different, different, different members said we recap cast, we recast, which I like. I like that you all weren't on. On the same line.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We'll do it one more time.

[Bever Hopeox]

We're not afraid to pass the ball.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And pisby. Do you want to.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You want me to throw it away

[Jason Manzoukas]

now I felt like it.

[Bever Hopeox]

John Stockton.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now I felt like it was too little.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Okay, I'll go back to the constitute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now it's medium, over rehearsed and over rot. I remember, like, this is your business. This is what you do every day.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I honestly would love to hear it if. If you maybe were to impersonate like a famous celebrity or something like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Sure.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like, yeah, yeah. Or maybe all of you could just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you do any impressions?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, he does.

[Bever Hopeox]

Ton Bisbee's always. Well, I'm sure all.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All of these are in the joke book, right?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'm known for my impression. If you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah. Give me anybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, anybody.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Cary Grant.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Carrie Grant in a subject to talk about. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Getting. Taking the library book out from the library.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Okay, there's Carrie G.R. grant taken a library book out of the library. And would you play the librarian?

[Bever Hopeox]

Beva, it would be my honor.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're down on one knee.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, this is romantic.

[Bever Hopeox]

Chivalry is not bad when it comes to impromptu impressions.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love this library.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'd like to take this hottie Boys book out for the day.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, my God. Carrie Grant. I'm your biggest fan.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, not today, miss Mrs.

[Bever Hopeox]

He's got here holding a gun on. Hey, get down.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Get on the floor.

[Bever Hopeox]

Laying down. Hey, please. I have a family. You dirty little slut. Pull up your skirt. Please, Mr. Grant, please don't. What the fuck are you doing over there? Cary Grant. Brad Pitt. You're goddamn right it's Brad Pitt. Put the gun away. I'll put it away.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Brad Pitt spoiled my plan again.

[Bever Hopeox]

Put the skirt down, give me the Grant. And thank you, Mr.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Pit, but I'm taking the Hardy Boys book all the way home. And I'll read it, too.

[Chico Hands]

Not if you don't got a library card.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You.

[Bever Hopeox]

Damn it, Pit. You're never going to let me win. Well, look who's here at the library. Jackson. Jack. No. Okay. It's me, Louis Armstrong.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, this is his speaking voice. I've never heard it before.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, yeah.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Incredible scene.

[Bever Hopeox]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's a good commercial right there.

[Scott Aukerman]

For the library. That's for Libby, the library app.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And that's my least best.

[Scott Aukerman]

That.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's your least.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's your least best. And that's the best way to say that.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yep. It's the fastest, most efficient way to say my words.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's my least best impression.

[Chico Hands]

Stick was our least best flavor.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Chico.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. That was like. I felt transported.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I really did to.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was immersive. Do you guys ever think about doing. Adding an element to what you're already doing, which is kind of immersive, theatrical, kind of almost like a.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Once the families of eight or less,

[Scott Aukerman]

we have Halloween horror nights or that kind of thing where.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you enter the. When you enter the ranch. When you enter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's every outdoor theater.

[Bever Hopeox]

Calvin's Family Bee Honey Taffy Farm and horse fighting Ranch impressions. Recession for when times are hard on the dollar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Something like that. Escape room could be a component of it where people have to move through. They maybe have to fight a horse

[Jason Manzoukas]

or people lock you up and you have to escape.

[Bever Hopeox]

We have no.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh, a reverse escape.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Reverse escape room. Wouldn't that be cool?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's Pretty cool.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Never.

[Chico Hands]

Never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, why don't we go over here?

[Chico Hands]

You know how Jason just said the word transport? And then he started said some stuff about stuff we could do at the ranch. And then we're talking about how Scotland's never been to the ranch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Chico Hands]

What if we kidnapped these two right now? We took them up to the ranch.

[Bever Hopeox]

Well, I mean, Bisbee still has that real gun he used as a prop during the Cary Grand.

[Chico Hands]

You still got that?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I always carry my real gun. God.

[Chico Hands]

We could bring them up to the immersive experience up at the ranch. The one we've been working on but ain't told nobody about.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

The one that is our version of the Hoop Dee Doo review.

[Bever Hopeox]

The one that all of us know exactly what it is and are excited to show it off in equal measure

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

with our opening song that we've never performed live, but we've practiced in secret

[Chico Hands]

for years with the one that we've got the perfect captive audience for because they're tied to up by us.

[Bever Hopeox]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hey, guys. Hey. What's going on? Oh, Jason and I are back to do the show. We just took a little sidebar over there to discuss kind of what we wanted to ask you. But before we ask you these questions,

[Bever Hopeox]

you promenaded around the parlor.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We did. But we want to turn our backs to you, if you don't mind, just to confer one last time.

[Chico Hands]

That's a great idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now listen, it's only because we would only turn our backs on you because we trust you implicitly.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We know you would never do anything to us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Puts us in an incredibly vulnerable position.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yes, exactly. Cool.

[Chico Hands]

Here, with a loud loop, drag them. Wrap them up in the tree by their feet.

[Bever Hopeox]

You're coming with us. And you're gonna like it. Hold on. Bisbee's having a seizure. Don't let Fallers tell us what's wrong with him.

[Chico Hands]

Out of it.

[Bever Hopeox]

Come on.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Sorry. Violence.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Violence does that to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Question. Has time passed?

[Bever Hopeox]

No, about 30 seconds.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Stop talking.

[Chico Hands]

Put the bag back over your head. Do I got to hit him with a log?

[Bever Hopeox]

Why is she going Ow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why is the bag over my head? Is it cuz I'm ugly or so

[Chico Hands]

you don't know where you're going?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. Hit him with the log. God damn. All right, so where are we going?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Get in the back of the Volvo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Fine. You could have just asked us. Us?

[Bever Hopeox]

I got the mics. Hold on. Let me pl these into the battery here. All my tinkering is coming useful Right now, all. There we go. Now we can move mobily and freely without ever losing quality and sound.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's going to sound good, but we will also hear the. The ambient sound of us driving through Los Angeles. Oh, wow. A trolley there.

[Bever Hopeox]

A trolley.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess a trolley just went by. And the Doppler effects.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right. The one neighborhood of Los Angeles Goodyear T Didn't get to. Right.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Here we are, the exit off the 405.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yep. We've been driving.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is really quick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Time has now passed.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's a Volvo, you know, she rips.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

There we are. Okay, get them out, but attach their mics to them.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Where we go?

[Scott Aukerman]

Where are you taking us?

[Bever Hopeox]

Can you take the 405 to the 406?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Here, chew on this. See if you can guess the flavor.

[Bever Hopeox]

Try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got stick Limb.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, they got it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, you got limb. Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

Y.

[Chico Hands]

We got a lot left over. Didn't melt in the rain.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So this is. Do you mind if we take our bags off?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You can take them off now and gaze upon the stage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. Beautiful.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, this is a hole. Wait, what did you just say?

[Scott Aukerman]

I said it's beautiful.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's beautiful compared to being in the studio.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, to insult the. Our kidnappers.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Welcome to the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do I already have Stockholm syndrome? I said this all was beautiful. What the is wrong with me?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, what did. What did Bisbee say?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What's your name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Huh?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What's your name? Huh?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. I don't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, my God. That is the biggest horse I've ever.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh. Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a. There's a fight in progress happening right now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess they said the fights never cease.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I thought the horses killed. Oh, no, that was a horse carrying a gun. Okay, now it's in the horse microwave.

[Bever Hopeox]

It just.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was like. It was like Brundle Fly. It was like in the fly when he turns the baboon inside out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now Bisbee's eating horse. That horse in the microwave pit's here.

[Bever Hopeox]

The microwave is for thawing out frozen horses. We're sorry about that, Bradley.

[Chico Hands]

Come on, get it together.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, he works.

[Bever Hopeox]

You're right. Works here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, he's part of the pit crew.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, this makes sense.

[Chico Hands]

Put that in the book.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, Wy is here as well.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's me. No Wy.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is a flawless impression.

[Bever Hopeox]

Hey, give me.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Give me four look, Q tips and a napkin, stat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, with his tom bin backpack. Come on, Noah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wy. So, wait, what did you Say earlier you said, welcome to the show.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you. You guys have the A show or something?

[Bever Hopeox]

I'm Brian Cox.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Brian Cox is in this show. Amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I am such a fan.

[Bever Hopeox]

I appreciate it. So first, sit and watch this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Say for us, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I love the way he threw it away.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, it's so good. So he's just doing the intro.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. So how many shows a day are

[Jason Manzoukas]

you guys gonna do?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's rolling. It never stops.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It just never stops. Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

So, Brian, people can come in and out. Why am I explaining this to you?

[Bever Hopeox]

It's dirty rounds. It's a little bit like row, row, row. Bonus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

But as a stage show at a family amusement. Animal fighting. Sweet treat farm. Right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess since we're here, we may as well enjoy the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is exciting. I like that we're out of the studio and we're experiencing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stuff that normally we only talk about, which sucks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Exactly. Yeah. Just hearing people's stories about things now we're actually. What was that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, there. There's the new fight.

[Jason Manzoukas]

New fight going.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is brutal. Oh.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is like horse mma. Wow.

[Chico Hands]

And a loser. Get the gun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I have to say, I always thought the horses were killing each other. Well, it doesn't have an employee shooting them.

[Bever Hopeox]

Hey, and who's shooting the horses? Hey, hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

They already killed one another.

[Chico Hands]

You don't gotta shoot them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Bever Hopeox]

Put them in the freezer, not the microwave. Sorry about that, Bradley. Microwave is for thawing.

[Scott Aukerman]

He just exploded another horse in the microwave.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, you super troopers better write more speeding tickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. It's Brian Cox from Super Troopers.

[Bever Hopeox]

I guess from everything I've done. Holy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I had no idea. Brian

[Scott Aukerman]

from Manhunter?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Bever Hopeox]

Whoa, here I come.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's got a huge role.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he's Al. He's also just doing absolutely brilliant free association. It's like he's doing a pattern game. And we're going to have to do a herald after this using only the stuff he's brought up.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What flavor is this one?

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is. This is Robert.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right, Gary.

[Chico Hands]

How did they get guessed them both? I don't know.

[Bever Hopeox]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Very specific. I don't know. It just kind of came out of my mouth.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, and if you could at the end, just scan this QR code or call that number at the end of what?

[Scott Aukerman]

At the end of what you guys

[Bever Hopeox]

haven't done when you decide Brian Cox

[Jason Manzoukas]

is the only person who's doing this show.

[Bever Hopeox]

I want my union break.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

There'll be a series of questions.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, look, feedback. Speaking of breaks, before the show starts, do you mind if we take a break? Is that okay?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Before it starts?

[Bever Hopeox]

You're the clock man. That's why I unplugged all the mics and your laptop to continue recording.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right.

[Bever Hopeox]

And keep track of the time period.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Do you want to hear our commercial one last time?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's go to break on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let's go to break on the commercial. Go ahead.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Do you like honey?

[Bever Hopeox]

Do you like horse fighting of the rarest and most masculine of forms?

[Chico Hands]

And do you like taffy? No kids with braces, please.

[Bever Hopeox]

The best horse fighting in all of California and Tampa. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. And if you're coming out of LA,

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

go north on the 405 till you get to the 406. Don't get off that way.

[Chico Hands]

Don't come if you don't like dead horses.

[Bever Hopeox]

Bye. Bye.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Month of October, 50% off all stick flavored T. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And we'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang after this. Refresh your space and make your home work better for you with Wayfair. From furniture and decor to organization solutions and outdoor essentials, Wayfair makes it easy to find pieces that fit your style and your needs. And you know what? Spring, which is right around the corner. Spring is the perfect time for a reason. And Wayfair has everything from outdoor furniture and patio decor to lighter bedding that's not so hot. And that immediately makes your home feel brighter. Plus, you can get a head start on spring cleaning with closet systems, storage solutions and garage organization. I could use some of that. All from Wayfair. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget, along with fast shipping and easy assembly options. I got a bunch of stuff from Wayfair, by the way. Is it Wayfair or Wayfair? They don't explain that on the website, but I got a bunch of stuff from there. And now that I read this garage solutions thing, I didn't even go to the garage solutions segment. I have some things that need to be solved in my garage, so I'm sure they have a bunch of great stuff there. And you can find furniture, decor and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Scott Aukerman]

America's best network just got bigger switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price gap guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

Best mobile network based on analysis by Oogle of speed test intelligence data 2H2025 bigger network the combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.

[Chico Hands]

There's nothing like your first Mac.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Here's what people online are sharing. Rhain says everything is just so smooth and fast.

[Chico Hands]

I still can't get over syncing stuff between my phone and this is just chef's kiss. Rincredible488 says Apple Silicon basically cures low battery trauma. That's how they felt with their first Mac.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How will you introducing the all new MacBook Neo, an amazing Mac at a surprising price.

[Chico Hands]

Find out more on apple.com Mac

[Jason Manzoukas]

comedy bang bang. We're back. Jason Manzoukas and I have been taken captive by the Calvins. Triplets.

[Scott Aukerman]

We are are currently exposed.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Naked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, we were taken to the ranch. We've watched, I'm gonna say half dozen horses. More. More horses.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So many horses have died in the

[Scott Aukerman]

last period of this podcast than in all of Luck season one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And meanwhile there are. It's like a sports bar with all of the television sets everywhere showing episodes of Walking Dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I wasn't prepared for? I wasn't prepared for how many horses would be here watching the fight.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah, the horses are the main spectators.

[Chico Hands]

Don't shoot.

[Bever Hopeox]

Don't shoot. Damn.

[Chico Hands]

What did I say?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess I expected more human beings watching everything but this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh no, they just put a horse.

[Bever Hopeox]

Come on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, I think the show's starting. Jason. We go this show. Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Welcome from all over the country. And where are you from, young sir?

[Scott Aukerman]

I've got to say, I don't think having Bisbee host was a good idea.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Where are you from, young sir?

[Scott Aukerman]

Where are you the most beta? Anyway, I'm from la, Los Angeles.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh, interesting. Hey, he's just down to Hollywood.

[Bever Hopeox]

He went. Went down to Hollywood.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

So what do you do for a living?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Abandoned that song immediately. So this.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What do we do for a job?

[Jason Manzoukas]

This introduces the show and then you

[Scott Aukerman]

do crowd work like Matt Rife style crowd work. What is this?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I wish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And what do you have for a job?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a podcaster.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Podcaster. Speak into the microphone. Speak into the microphone. In the microphone. I'm raising my hand over in the corner, sir.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, this sucks.

[Bever Hopeox]

Sit back down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Save Mr. Fox.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's a work in progress. We'll do a talk back after.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, okay, okay. I just.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's. Everybody do your best impression time. Horse impression, that is. Here's Cinnamon. Here's Wally. Brian Cox. Ladies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ladies and gentlemen. Wait a minute.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Wait a minute.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a question.

[Bever Hopeox]

How is the winter of audition?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. Actually, this is lovely.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is glassing it up a little.

[Chico Hands]

And that's the intermission. Feel free to make your way to the concession stands. Fill up on Taffy.

[Bever Hopeox]

Fill up on the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The bulk of the. Of the first act seemed to consist of maybe a minute and a half. Is it a lopsided show?

[Scott Aukerman]

A bunch of. It was hors impressions for horses I've never met.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay. Now that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know Fighting has gone back,

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what Cinnamon sounds like. Oh, man, the horses are. Oh, God. I wasn't prepared for how much the bees.

[Chico Hands]

Do not pick up that gun. Do not pick up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The horse is dead. It's dead.

[Chico Hands]

Put the gun down. It's already dead.

[Bever Hopeox]

Don't do it.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Don't do it.

[Chico Hands]

Shoot it into the ground if you gotta shoot. Shoot it into the ground if you gotta shoot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, hands off your belt.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Blowing into the or.

[Chico Hands]

Just put it down. You don't have to do it. What are you doing? Why down into the ground. Don't do it. The horse is dead.

[Bever Hopeox]

Don't blow on the gun.

[Chico Hands]

Don't blow on the gun. Don't do it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's tilting towards the ground, but it's

[Bever Hopeox]

pointed at the horse.

[Chico Hands]

Stupid to do this. Don't pull the trigger. Come on, come on.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

This is the part of the show where the audience decides what's going to happen. We didn't decide.

[Bever Hopeox]

We didn't decide.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God. At least it's not. At least they didn't put it in the. Oh, no.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, it's going in the microwave.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bever Hopeox]

Freezer.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Mr. Pit, you got to stop this.

[Bever Hopeox]

Shut up. Burn up. Hello, this is King George the Third.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Bever Hopeox]

Please silence your cell phones and welcome to my show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Whoa.

[Jason Manzoukas]

O. Act two, starting with Ryan Cox doing his own one man show, I guess. Is that what. Is that what he's saying?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'd like to take out this book.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, my goodness, Mr. Grant, I'm your

[Scott Aukerman]

biggest back in the library.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, hey.

[Bever Hopeox]

Do you think I can get your autographs?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'll give you my autograph in the

[Bever Hopeox]

shape of a Gunshot. You've got a garden.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is a real gun.

[Bever Hopeox]

Pull up your skirt, you little slut. Please, Mr. Grant, not like this.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Implying he wants it.

[Chico Hands]

I used to be your biggest fan, but not anymore. You're a violent, awful, hateful man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Ellen Green in the flesh from Little Shop of Horrors. And me and him.

[Bever Hopeox]

Every time.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Ellen Green. Every time. You ruin it.

[Chico Hands]

Put away the gun and pull out your library card or you're not welcome.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You want me to pull out my library card or you want me to pull out my library card?

[Bever Hopeox]

Are those the only two options?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Maybe. Maybe also pull out your library card.

[Bever Hopeox]

Please silence yourself.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sorry.

[Bever Hopeox]

Sorry. Have him removed.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Please take me back to the studio.

[Bever Hopeox]

Excuse me, sir, can you come with us?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh, no, guys, you don't have to take him.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have to take him away. We're part of the show. Yeah, we were with the guys.

[Chico Hands]

Yeah, no, we understand if anybody makes

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

a noise back here.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, we were. Sorry. We came with the guys. Your tickets. No, we don't have tickets.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Kidnapped us. Does this.

[Scott Aukerman]

We were doing a podcast serve as a ticket.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Tickets. We have to have you leave.

[Chico Hands]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, no. You see, we would love to leave.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't have to come back to

[Chico Hands]

the show, but you have to watch a video.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What?

[Chico Hands]

That will tell you how to properly

[Jason Manzoukas]

behave when you're at. Let's see the video.

[Chico Hands]

We'll take you into the room.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Great.

[Bever Hopeox]

Hello, I'm Christoph Waltz, and welcome to how to Be a Good Theater Attendee.

[Jason Manzoukas]

These guys have a lot of.

[Scott Aukerman]

They have.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And I'm Carrie Grant.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Cary Grant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Archie Leach himself.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

A lot of people go to a comedy show and think that it's okay to be loud.

[Bever Hopeox]

That couldn't be farther from the truth. Here to show us how to be a good audience member, it's me, Nev Campbell.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Nev Campbell from the franchise Party of what, five?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Look at her face.

[Bever Hopeox]

To be a good audience member. What?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sounds just like her.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What yeah.

[Chico Hands]

Have to do is sit quietly.

[Bever Hopeox]

Now, many of you are wondering what the word quietly means. It harkens back to ancient Greece.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Whoa.

[Bever Hopeox]

When the first theater attendees would sit not only without making any noise, but would also cross their knees, hold in any bodily functions from there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We hope that watching this video will help.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's already at the end.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And behave yourself.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, well, we watched the video. Do you think.

[Chico Hands]

You guys think you understand? You think you can.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Be quiet and cross our knees.

[Bever Hopeox]

Every kidnapping gets one warning this was yours.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so how many people that are here are here as spectators because they were kidnapped and brought here? Oh, okay. Because I can't help but also notice that there are a lot of other people with microphones.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go on podcast podcasts, abduct them and bring them up here.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's because Mr. Hopex is a tinkerer of sorts.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is everyone here a kidnap podcaster? Like, I see the host of Cereal over there and I see Bruce Springsteen over there and. And Obama. Hey, how come you're not taking him out?

[Bever Hopeox]

What's going f be stinging their hooves. Wait a minute.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Calvin's triple shit.

[Bever Hopeox]

The boss cast like Muhammad Ali. They kind of funny, but don't laugh at joke books.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Calvin stripless. Did you just go on a bunch of podcasts this week and kidnap all of the hosts?

[Chico Hands]

Maybe. Who's to say we did or didn't?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Lock the gate.

[Bever Hopeox]

He's back.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Damn it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Marin. Mar.

[Bever Hopeox]

No, that was m Marin. Oh, okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, they're very similar. Okay, we'll be quiet.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Quiet.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we wanna, we do wanna watch the rest of the show. Let us be clear. We don't want to be disruptive, but we were brought here against our will.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

And do I do fear that I am, you know, susceptible to Stockholm syndrome and may never leave here, but I

[Jason Manzoukas]

also don't want to be just kicked out of, I don't know, our way back? We don't have a way at home.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we have to figure that out. I know it feels like an escape room scenario.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Reverse escape room caps.

[Chico Hands]

Yeah, we left them there. They're going to have to find their own way out.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's right. We're back in Scott's house.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Look at this place.

[Bever Hopeox]

This way. It's crazy stack. What's all the stack of floppies here? Let's leaf through floppies for hospice. He he intend to give every one of these single issues of Neil Gaiman's Work of art.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bunch of maybe not those.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

No.

[Bever Hopeox]

Sorry.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I Sorry, Bever I. This is Scott.au I

[Bever Hopeox]

under the table.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I I, I I I ran back all the way home.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you got all the way back?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I got all the way back.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know if you were on a ring cam kind of situation.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was. That's what I intended. But it appears that I'm back.

[Scott Aukerman]

It does appear that you're back. And I guess so am I.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, you I carry piggyback style.

[Scott Aukerman]

We hitchhiked after a while and we made it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And we're Finally. Finally back. And, guys, I. We really don't appreciate you taking advantage of our good graces here to kidnap us along with all of these other podcasters.

[Bever Hopeox]

We're sorry. You know what?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? I can't stay mad at them. You know, they give us those big puppy horse eyes, and I just get

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

all like, oh, wow, can we have a kiss?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you talking to each other or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, everybody.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah, a little smooch.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Five way smooch.

[Chico Hands]

Everybody all in.

[Bever Hopeox]

Why don't you thumb them belt loops and lean in for a little pucker?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, why not?

[Bever Hopeox]

All right.

[Chico Hands]

Wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Now, don't that just make everything better?

[Jason Manzoukas]

It tastes like. Like autumn leaves.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's it.

[Bever Hopeox]

Scott, I have to say, haven't had you at our home makes me grateful and appreciative for how many times you have had us over to your domicile.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's. It's my pleasure. But I have to say, you kidnapped us. You took us out to see the show that you were hyping up, and at intermission, you guys left and came back to my house. We never got to see the second act of the show. It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I will say that. And just as a way to kind of hype up the show for people who might be listening is it starts strong.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It starts very strong. Cox comes out.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had no idea, Brad.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And everyone's like, whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

A list stars are there now. And we were only there for the first half and saw, I'm gonna say, at least five to seven horse deaths.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But within the space of 90 seconds. During which Bisby did crowd work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Which wasn't even.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was bad. It was Matt Rice. It was bad. Like, just bad crowd work on some jokes. Work on some actual jokes. Maybe from the joke book.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, if you don't have jokes, you do crowd working.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right. So what.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is. And you're saying you're relocating, Getting to Austin.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, the mothership.

[Scott Aukerman]

The mothership calls.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'm gonna try out. I'll try out, and if I get it, I'll get it. If I don't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do they have auditions there?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

An hour and a half from Tampa. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And are you guys still at the horse ranch doing that show, Kill Horsey?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's cool.

[Bever Hopeox]

Great.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Like that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So what. What does happen in the second act? My interest is piqued. I would love. I mean, you know, I'm not saying necessarily I want to be kidnapped again to. To see the second act.

[Bever Hopeox]

But, well, Chico is the director of the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, cool.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's true.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is that why you're wearing those. These jodhpurs and riding crop?

[Chico Hands]

Well, it's a horse ranch.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, that's.

[Chico Hands]

We're always wearing Josh.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, all three of you are. Yeah, I just noticed that.

[Bever Hopeox]

What.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's your vision?

[Chico Hands]

Well, as we said, up top, it's an immersive experience.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You didn't say that, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe I.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You said that when we were conferring.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe that was our pun.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You know how, like, the first half. First half of Barbarian is like one movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Uhhuh.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And then the second half, it just goes ape crazy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

When. When Conan gets the sword, right?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right. What did you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

Conan the Barbarian.

[Bever Hopeox]

If I had legs, I'd kick you

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

when he finally gets that sword.

[Scott Aukerman]

James Earl Jones.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah. Well, our. Our show's kind of like that.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We really take the power back in the. In the second half.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, from whom?

[Bever Hopeox]

From.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

From everybody who's taken it from us over the years.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the second half is kind of

[Jason Manzoukas]

like a revenge, like a rising of the phoenix from the ashes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a John Wick.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right. Which. Like a rising of the phoenix which we hope to rise this year. Back to our glory days.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were your glory days? Days? When.

[Jason Manzoukas]

When did you steal that from Bruce Springsteen? When he was kidnapped there.

[Scott Aukerman]

When he was up there doing the Boss.

[Bever Hopeox]

I remember Bism came into the house and

[Scott Aukerman]

I think this is a flashback.

[Chico Hands]

Hey, he's stroking.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, it's just a stroking.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not.

[Bever Hopeox]

Put a stick candy in his mouth.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What. What were you saying?

[Bever Hopeox]

You remember what he walked in and he said? I. I was thinking back to the glory days.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I was thinking back to the glory

[Bever Hopeox]

days when I looked in the wink of a young girl's eye. Okay, Glory days.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Glory days.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sounding very familiar.

[Chico Hands]

They'll pass you by.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Sure. That's right. Glory days.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's the one part that you seem to remember.

[Bever Hopeox]

And then he had his first seizure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's when they started. Oh, really?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah. I haven't. Every time we perform the second half fight, I have had a little bit of a seizure.

[Bever Hopeox]

We can't understand it because everybody. Every other cast members, solid on their feet all the dance. Brian Cox is fine. Bradley Pit is fine. The dancers. Nev Campbell, the flashing strobe lights. Don't you know that might be it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Epilepsy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bever Hopeox]

The dancers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, not. No, not the. Did you say flashing dancers? That I would like to see. Yeah, my belt loops are the flashing.

[Bever Hopeox]

Please hold.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kidnap me back. I didn't see any flashing dancers, but

[Jason Manzoukas]

if you said flashing lights. Bisbee, I think you might be an epileptic.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You might suffer from the affliction known as epilepsy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Any kind of strobe light or anything like that. Do you have any problems like that?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I don't think so.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let me flash this flashlight in your eyes rapidly. Oh, no. He's having another seizure. Yeah. Okay. Yes.

[Bever Hopeox]

Don't, Don't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Don't have this seizure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, that feels better. That worked. That worked.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you think you're cured?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I mean, I. Try it again.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Let's see.

[Bever Hopeox]

We could ask Robert Smith. He's in the second act of our show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Robert Smith from the Cure? Yes, it's me, Robert Smith.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And am I cured?

[Chico Hands]

You're cured. Officially.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, I guess that is.

[Chico Hands]

Wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I wasn't expecting that here today.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's incredible. Robert Smith. I'm such a huge fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, massive fan.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bye. Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, bye.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We're stealing Louis Armstrong's catchphrase.

[Scott Aukerman]

How cool.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

He looked great.

[Scott Aukerman]

He looked great. His hair is. It's still an unkempt mop.

[Bever Hopeox]

Upon him to the heavens.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love it. Yeah, I love it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So, Bisbee, do you think you could do the second act now?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh, it's a group number.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Well, I mean, Jason and I, even though we don't want to be kidnapped

[Scott Aukerman]

again, we will help in any.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We will. We are here.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Starts out a bit.

[Bever Hopeox]

A little bit. Seem that love is imitating art, which is imitating the art of the last. Where we kidnapped you in the middle.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

That's right.

[Bever Hopeox]

In the first place.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess so.

[Chico Hands]

Can we hit him with the logs again?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I really wish you.

[Bever Hopeox]

Ow. Ow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I.

[Chico Hands]

Here we go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Get out on the road. Could we just do it in the studio?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

The 405 getting off on the 406.

[Bever Hopeox]

Here we are.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Sit down.

[Bever Hopeox]

You know how long this is going to take? Probably a Noah Wy. Put it in the book. Put it down.

[Chico Hands]

Write it down, God damn it.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'm writing it down.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Chico Hands]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Can we take our. Our hoods off?

[Chico Hands]

Take them off.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Take them off. And get ready for the best thing you've ever seen in your life.

[Chico Hands]

And here it is. It's starting up the second act of the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Chico Hands]

Hi, everyone. I'm Scott Aerman, and I'm here with my good friend, Mr. Jason Man Zukas.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is weird.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is so weird. That's exact. That's me.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

This is Jason Manzuka.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And that sounds exactly like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds like my very identifiable voice.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Been on Broadway way. Who cares? It's not a big deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

He brags like me too.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did we act on this show and we don't remember it?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's very good. It's very compelling.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Hey, I like I can listen and talk at the same time. That's the way people do it.

[Chico Hands]

Don't talk over me.

[Bever Hopeox]

Don't talk over me.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Get out of here.

[Chico Hands]

I'm not gonna.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Who's our guest today?

[Chico Hands]

We have a very special guest lined up and he's sitting right over there. He needs no introduction because he's gonna introduce himself.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's PA Tompkins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, how come he didn't introduce himself?

[Bever Hopeox]

This is. Bye. Oh, he left. He left.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That was either Paul or the Joker. I can't.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And now's the time in the show where we have to say goodbye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Can I just say that I feel like I haven't gotten my money's worth in any of this.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And then.

[Chico Hands]

Oh, wait. Wait a minute, Jason. Hold on a second. Someone from the audience is interrupting. Is that. Is that one of the Calvin's triplets out there?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Wait a minute.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wah.

[Bever Hopeox]

I'm one of the wee Calvins. Bree Dalvins. Conflvins, Balvins and Malvins over here. Well, ha.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm here too. Too.

[Chico Hands]

It's me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Another Calvins.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then I'm also here. The B. Sean Connery.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Money, Penny, get me my James Bond style gun, if you don't mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that's not how you sound. You sound it. You can't. It's not what I'm talking about.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'm the other one now.

[Bever Hopeox]

And sometimes the only way to get through to the woman is with the back of your hand. You're the dog now. So by way the up. The last one. Hey, that's the Chicago way down. This is the beginning.

[Chico Hands]

Put it down.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's from the event. Brad Pitt is the marvel one. Hey, we've got horses of courses, of courses, of courses. If you want to see some horses, they're going to fight and they're going to sing and then you're going to hear a ring ding ding.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Go down to the shore and buy like little taffy. Get a little wacky. Do a little thing. You're gonna try to sing but you only say laffy Taffy comes out your mouth.

[Chico Hands]

Boro boro, soro boro. Snake eating his tail.

[Bever Hopeox]

Snake eating his tail.

[Chico Hands]

It's a new flavor of taffy. And it's a way of imagining the show.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And Cinnamon sleeps in the middle of the night. Cinnamon comes off too nice and tight.

[Bever Hopeox]

She's a Todd coma. That's all. Cinnamon a top. Come on. She's gonna win. Hey.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Saying goodbye is always hard. Saying goodbye is not my favorite card. I pull from the deck during the magic trick. Hey, what's the matter with you? You coughing? You sick?

[Bever Hopeox]

I am a sickly little lady. I need a floppy, floppy thingy.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Good.

[Bever Hopeox]

Scott. Give me a single issue of Batman's Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like Gilbert and Sullivan.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Topsy turvy.

[Bever Hopeox]

I am a little tinkerer. I go into my old and then I like to take it and I'll do a little welded button. Then I'll take it and I put it to the other one. And then I can record sound anywhere. And it is really fun.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

So grab your suitcase, grab your taffy Grab your pamphlet grab your laugh he won't be as happy in the morning he won't be as happy when he's

[Bever Hopeox]

scorning He's a towel for losers Put it in a win. Got in on the Brian. Oh, my God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And now Obama's getting in on this. Just on instruments.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just. Picked up a guitar that slide guitars.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is incredible.

[Bever Hopeox]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

And I bet we'll be together for a million years and we'll be together for a million more so, so gentle

[Bever Hopeox]

with you Take my hand Then I finally understand. That the honey is the sweetest parts of the ranch the honey is the sweetest part of the ranch but don't

[Chico Hands]

forget about the taffy Taffy bink Bink and the bees.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, yeah. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. The second half of the show was incredible.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I had low expectation. Jason is standing up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Standing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm not going to go that far because my standing ankles are chained together and I'm. I re. Was receiving.

[Bever Hopeox]

Lowering your belt loops.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I had low expectations. I did, too. Surpassed the low expectations.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was incredible was it was so smart to set the expectations low by having the first half be mostly horse deaths.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. And bad crowd work. Crowd work, horse deaths and horse implosions in the microwave. The second half had none of that.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's still going.

[Jason Manzoukas]

His horse deaths are still continuing. I guess they took a break from the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this the encore winner?

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They're not going to pick up.

[Chico Hands]

Don't do it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Don't do it.

[Bever Hopeox]

Come on, man.

[Chico Hands]

Don't.

[Bever Hopeox]

Put it down.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Do it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Put it down. He's assembling the rifle.

[Bever Hopeox]

Grab the gun him out of his. Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's got a. He's got a scope on a shotgun.

[Bever Hopeox]

It's a straight in the. Oh, my God. Damn it.

[Chico Hands]

You know it's wrong. You know you're doing it wrong.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Back in the microwave.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, not the microwave. Oh, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If only they said it for slightly less time.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Brian Cox, everybody.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Everyone's taking their bows.

[Bever Hopeox]

We've had laughs, we've had tears.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We are drinking.

[Bever Hopeox]

A lot of fears. But we're still just laughing.

[Chico Hands]

We're still.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

If you enjoyed what you saw on stage. We have classes all week long.

[Bever Hopeox]

We have dances, we had lights till we realized that was the source of the seizures. We just got dancing.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You can do it too.

[Bever Hopeox]

You bought the family. You brought the treats. We brought that seasoning. We brought this heat. Now we're gon say goodbye.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Christmas is right around the corner. So gift cards.

[Bever Hopeox]

No matter what you do and no matter what you go through, when life kicks you like a shoe, you gotta laugh.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I forgot you guys say you gotta laugh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Just.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is great.

[Scott Aukerman]

A tour de force performance.

[Bever Hopeox]

Well, I suppose it's time to take you lovely boys back home.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Bever Hopeox]

I would appreciate it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I, I, you know that when I said it wasn't worth the my money, you know, at the beginning of this, I, I, I mean, you guys is really brought.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is now, we started this show talking about my time on Broadway. This show should be Broadway.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a, this was a masterpiece, you know, and that is even if you don't have access to Brian Cox.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sure. Even if it's recast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Even if you recast.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I bet they would do it.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah, sure. You just gotta get, get through the hoops of Ju Jamison's rental fees. Am I, am I right? Am I right? Jude Jameson, one of the biggest owners of Broadway.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of course, of course he knows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course I know that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, of course. Of course.

[Bever Hopeox]

Lamb of the Sho. And we both know you don't want to be dealing with the sho.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'd rather be dealing with them Nerlanders.

[Bever Hopeox]

No, no, no. Take your hands away from your belt loop. Sorry.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sorry. That's. That's a family name.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay, got it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Got it. Well, so are you gonna take us back?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Back in the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Everybody back in the.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, no.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did you not fill up your tank, chico?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I told you to get gas.

[Chico Hands]

What is that? Prices are too high because of all

[Jason Manzoukas]

the stuff going on. And Hormu, more horses are fighting Each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Bever Hopeox]

That horse took out a sword and a katana. Oh, my gosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. This is. Is this a sort of horse? Kumate.

[Chico Hands]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. The crowd is going crazy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All the other horses are. Oh, the. The shotgun guy is crying.

[Bever Hopeox]

Can't do it. Oh, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, no one wants you to.

[Bever Hopeox]

Can't we just put them in the freezer?

[Chico Hands]

That's what I said. Freezer. Put it in the freezer. It's already dead.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Bever.

[Bever Hopeox]

Bradley. Uppity.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Do it.

[Bever Hopeox]

16th man alive. And push me around. Tell me what to do.

[Chico Hands]

Don't point that gun at me, all right?

[Bever Hopeox]

Wasn't me that got drunk on a private plane with my kids.

[Chico Hands]

Quit muttering. Huh?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, he opened the freezer.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

God, there's blood everywhere in the freezer

[Chico Hands]

now is what drives me to drink on a plane.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Freezer's contaminated.

[Bever Hopeox]

We got the car.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Work.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. All right. Well, we're traveling back to the studio now.

[Chico Hands]

And we're back.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, guys.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Oh.

[Bever Hopeox]

So. Yeah, well, Bella's Y UPS joke book.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm more interested in the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's available at. Only at Barnes. It's only at Barnes and Noble.

[Bever Hopeox]

One. Bonds and Noble. Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Barn and Noble.

[Bever Hopeox]

Bon. One and Noble.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. Well, guys, I. I hate that you had to hit us in the back of the head with logs so many times just for us to watch that I would have went willingly, but.

[Bever Hopeox]

We don't know right from wrong.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I understand.

[Bever Hopeox]

We're responsible for the most amount of hor deaths in history,

[Jason Manzoukas]

but, guys, we are unfortunately running out of time here on the show. In fact, we only have time for one final feature on the show, and

[Bever Hopeox]

that is three of our shows. Oh, there's an Act 3.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's quick.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, let's see it.

[Bever Hopeox]

Welcome to the library, Mr. Grant.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'd like to take out this Hardy

[Bever Hopeox]

Boys boy with a gun in your hand.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Pull down your skirt, you little slut.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, no, not like this. Don't look at my butt.

[Chico Hands]

Hey, hold it right there, man.

[Bever Hopeox]

Bill Nye the Science Guy.

[Chico Hands]

That's right. It's Bill Nye the Science Guy every time. You're ruining the gun down.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'll put the gun down this time, but.

[Bever Hopeox]

Hey, you little slut. I'll be back.

[Chico Hands]

And it's not cool to call a little girl a slut. You hear me? You dig? Yeah, I hear you, Bill Nye.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Okay. Hey, Science Guy.

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, well, remember. Remember everything that we were saying about it being a masterpiece?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

We wanted to leave it on a high note.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No you had it on a high note.

[Bever Hopeox]

You can always edit.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's hard. Yeah, it's hard because the first act and the third act rule of threes does dictate that we did have to go back to the library and do that scene again.

[Bever Hopeox]

But.

[Scott Aukerman]

But diminishing the tur.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Gilding the lily.

[Bever Hopeox]

Just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Bever Hopeox]

Get your hand off whose belt. Stop gilding your lily.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Well, guys, we are running out of time on the show. We only have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

[Scott Aukerman]

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. Give me a beef, give me a beef Beef me off a piece of

[Jason Manzoukas]

that plug back, Scott. Give me a beat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give me me a beef Beef me off a piece of that plug back, Scott.

[Bever Hopeox]

Ground beefing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Ground beefing episode. All right, that was Give me a Beef by Sean Fogel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Loved it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

By the way, that. That did remind me that some of your song in Act 2 sounded a little like the. I believe the Family Ties theme was.

[Bever Hopeox]

I'm not so Too.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I almost. I thought maybe lawyers were gonna come in and shut everything down.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Yeah, we had to change it halfway through.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. But, guys, what are we plugging here? Jason Manzukas, what do you want to plug? Oh, well, you obviously can't announce something big on the horizon.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but I'll. I'll mention, like you said, Taskmaster season or series 19. Available now on YouTube. The how did this get made? Podcast. And then shows that I love but have nothing to do with are Dark Wins season four on AMC and Shorzy season five on Hulu. Two incredible shows that need more people watching them. So I'm shouting them out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Because you want to watch them more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I want to watch them.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're only. You're but one man, and I am

[Scott Aukerman]

but one man with multiple logins.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, that's right. And let's see. Chico Hands. What do you want to plug?

[Chico Hands]

Well, I did want to make a brief mention of our new line of top shelf taffy liqueurs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All celebrities are doing, like, a. A beverage of something.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, but is this beverage. So it's liqueur that tastes like taffy, not the reverse?

[Chico Hands]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, great.

[Chico Hands]

But also, I was making the pun that it's a bever like beverage.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, got it. A beverage.

[Bever Hopeox]

And is that first night.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is that pun on the label? So it's like bever hyphen ed.

[Chico Hands]

It's written right on down there. Of course.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Chico Hands]

These are the only taffy based liqueurs known in the entire northern hemisphere or the southern hemisphere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, you've got both. You've got all hemispheres covered.

[Chico Hands]

We're covered as far as hemispheres and

[Jason Manzoukas]

it's a four quadrant above and below the prime meridian.

[Chico Hands]

That's right. We'll make sure to send you a few bottles gratis. Okay, try them out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would love that if it would cure a headache. I mean, you hit me with the log. Really?

[Bever Hopeox]

Really?

[Chico Hands]

Yeah, it's good for that for sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's all the, all the flavors of the liqueur are from your taffies.

[Chico Hands]

That's right, yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So what, what, what are we talking? Like, what's it taste like? You know how, you know certain liqueurs taste like licorice or what does yours taste like?

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah, we got one of those.

[Chico Hands]

We got one that tastes like branch. We got one that tastes like shirts.

[Jason Manzoukas]

When you said branch, do you mean Branchelina?

[Bever Hopeox]

Oh boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

We should, yeah, we should have wrapped up earlier.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Branches Ranch, Jelena.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh no,

[Jason Manzoukas]

because he works there obviously.

[Scott Aukerman]

At Jelena the restaurant?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, he works at Jelina.

[Chico Hands]

And we're working on Black Alo and

[Jason Manzoukas]

Robert D. No, that was Kate Manini.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it was Kate Manini.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. And Bisby Saint. Yeah, Hancock.

[Bever Hopeox]

What do you want my name?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yep.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'd like to plug the Gillette Mock 3 Razor. The closest shave you can find on the market. Gillette. Are there, man can get, are there

[Jason Manzoukas]

off market razors that, that can shave you closer like, you know.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So just this is the best you can get on the market?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Can get.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

From Gillette, the Mach 3 Gillette razor.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, sure.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

You're gonna pay more? More?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much more?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

At least 60% more.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why are, why, why are you so invested in this, this race?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Well, I don't want to. It comes out Monday, but we may have a sponsorship at the, the farm.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

I'm not saying anything, but what, what,

[Scott Aukerman]

what use do you have for razors?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you outfitting the horses with these razors in their hooves?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

What do horses have on their face? What gets in the way of fighting at times? Am I right or am I wrong?

[Bever Hopeox]

Beards.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Beards.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, horse beards.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you, you need the horse's chins to be more exposed.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

Do the math.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you do it for me.

[Bever Hopeox]

Let's do it together. Okay. You do the numerator. You do the denominator.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this is that num.

[Chico Hands]

I'll write it down on the chalkboard.

[Bever Hopeox]

You do the abacus.

[Chico Hands]

I'll get the ab.

[Bever Hopeox]

Sorry. Sorry. As before, I say take the chalk out.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

It's a money back guarantee too. Gillette Mach 3.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

We'll give you your money back

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

whether you like it or you don't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, great. I mean, yeah, I'll definitely try it out.

[Bever Hopeox]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then Bisby.

[Bever Hopeox]

No, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bever.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bever. Hox.

[Bever Hopeox]

Me and my brother's been playing a lot of Taco cat goat cheese pizza. So check that out. Watching a lot of. I. I have been watching. Apparently they make cartoons for adults now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I had no idea.

[Bever Hopeox]

And there was a channel particularly. Adult Swim is doing some of the finest work that I have seen. Gendy Tartakovsky's Prime.

[Scott Aukerman]

Primal.

[Bever Hopeox]

Primal. That's right. That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible. Like a beautiful storytelling. A masterpiece of visual storytelling. And I'm not kidding.

[Bever Hopeox]

I'm. I'm right there with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I suggest another one?

[Bever Hopeox]

I'll allow it.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's called Freerin Beyond Journey's End. And it is incredible.

[Bever Hopeox]

That's a. It's animated.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not. It's free.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Rin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fre. Rin.

[Bever Hopeox]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

F R E R I E N. I think. And it is on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's not Free Reign, is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's on Prime. I think it's on Crunchyroll. It's like an anime. It's incredible.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Bever Hopeox]

Loving. Loving promo. Loving. Haha. You clowns.

[Scott Aukerman]

So funny.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You guys should just hang out together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Animated.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You might be an honorary Calvin's Quad.

[Bever Hopeox]

You might be the quad.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The quad.

[Bever Hopeox]

The missing quad of a full quadrant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bever Hopeox]

The cure marketing ploy. I was going to handle the north and Chico was doing the south and Bisby was going to go west. Bisby goes west. Favorite independent film.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And you can handle the east.

[Bever Hopeox]

I'd love to do that and cover in the east. Oh, I'd love to cover the easy. Yeah. Oh, wait. That's the witch of the West. You're the witch of the east. Oh, you're Nessa Rose. So that's not a good quadrant. That's a bad quadrant. Stumble on NBC and Peacock Bing. Season one on Peacock and high potential on abc. Those are worthwhile endeavors if you got nothing else to do.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wonderful. And I Want to plug cbb world.com. we have the entire archive of Comedy Bang bang all over 950 episodes of comedy Bang Bang all ad free.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if you want to watch or rather listen to the entire Calvin's Triplets Saga.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Saga from the beginning, it's all [e-mail] Also, we have every live episode we've ever done. We have other shows. Like we have the Neighborhood Listen. And we have hey, Randy.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Gino Lombardo College Town.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We're in the middle of the crisis on Infinite Bang Bangs.

[Scott Aukerman]

So funny. It's great. I. I love the Gino show. I think is incredibly fun.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. This book, Saved or Change? I can't remember which one it is. And so much stuff going on over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. There's one more thing you have to do. You know what it is?

[Bever Hopeox]

1, 2, 3.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to close the bag, baby.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Step on in. I want to close it tight.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know the way to win. I want to close that bag.

[Bever Hopeox]

I want to make it right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So just where in the world am I?

[Chico Hands]

Me.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, that was cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cool cat at the end there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, I like that cool cat in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the best part.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Well, guys, I want to thank you so much for coming by. Jason, always good to see you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful. Thank you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wonderful to have you on your second appearance this year.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a delight.

[Jason Manzoukas]

May it be many, many more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, the second of many.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Second of many. I hope. I hope that is true. And the Calvin striplets, Bever, Chico and Bisby. So wonderful to have you back. I know. President Accounted for.

[Chico Hands]

Happy to be here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I. I know we only see you every couple of. I look forward to our meetings and just catching up with you. And may. May time never age you and may you never travel down that road.

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

May the tears of God drip off the nose.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is this Act 4?

[Bisbee St. Hancock]

May the tears of God drip off the nose of a fine, fine horse onto your forehead and. Cool. The sun's beaded path to spring.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Cary Grant.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Incredible. Yeah. Cary Grant. Grant had some wise benedictions for the Act 4 of this musical.

[Bever Hopeox]

Yes. Somebody called for Wise Benedict.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wise Benedict is here too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a second. After the plugs, a new character is being introduced.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's cooking up eggs. Oh, my gosh. Wise Benedict is making breakfast for us all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cooking up eggs Benedict.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Mixing a holiday in them. Yes.

[Bever Hopeox]

Mostly the egg yogurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

As someone who is catastrophically allergic to

[Jason Manzoukas]

eggs, you gotta get the fuck outta here. This is a nightmare for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got to go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, well, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye.

[Bever Hopeox]

Hi, I'm Maria, salon owner.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know the jingle.

[Bever Hopeox]

Now discover the facts about Ozempic, a GLP1. There's only one FDA approved Ozempic.

[Chico Hands]

Made by Novo Nordisk.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Learn about the real thing. Talk to your healthcare professional today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Call 1833 ozempic or visit ozempic.com to

[Jason Manzoukas]

view the medication guide and to learn more about ozempic. Semaglutide injection 0.5 milligram, 1 milligram and 2 milligrams.

[Chico Hands]

Oh joy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Another day, another buzz delayed.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Look on the bright side, you can finally catch up on podcasts. You don't mind running late.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

What's your deal?

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's my deal? I say Saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month, kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.

[Bever Hopeox]

Only $25. I'm going to Metro when we hop

[Chico Hands]

off get that more for your money

[Scott Aukerman]

feeling only a Metro by T Mobile.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just bring your number $30 first month and $25 after with autopay price guarantee. Exceptions apply. See Sign for details.

[Chico Hands]

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