
Co-host Jason Mantzoukas triumphantly returns from Broadway for his first [sic] CBB appearance of 2026, just in time to greet the Calvins Triplets—Bever Hopox, Chico Hands and Bisby St. Hancock! Get a glimpse into the mind of entrepreneurs, as they introduce new taffy flavors, promote Bever’s new joke book and workshop concepts for a commercial. Plus surprise guests!
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Scott Aukerman
Nirvana the Band the Show the Movie is being hailed as a miracle and absolutely what all our tax dollars should be for. Nirvana the Band to show the movie is 98% certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, this could have insane ramifications.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, my God.
Scott Aukerman
Critics are raving that it's a laugh riot future classic that'll leave you in disbelief that they didn't get arrested.
Jason Manzoukas
I have a feeling that right off
Bever Hopeox
the bat they're gonna ask for an encore.
Scott Aukerman
Watch it on Digital now. America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.
T-Mobile Announcer
Best mobile network based on analysis by Google of speed test intelligence data 2H2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, yeah. Oh, Louie.
Jason Manzoukas
Louie Armstrong showed up to wow.
Scott Aukerman
Stopping by the studio.
Jason Manzoukas
Wonderful duet between Reggie and Louie Armstrong.
Scott Aukerman
Super quick Louie cameo.
Jason Manzoukas
This is a super group. He took off his catchphrase by we all expect.
Scott Aukerman
And once he says it, he never comes back.
Jason Manzoukas
Speaking of catchphrases, let me get through this. Take my pants now I'm naked down there. Whoa. Living on a prayer.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, just get to the.
Jason Manzoukas
Welcome to Comedy Bank.
Scott Aukerman
You got to do your catchphrase.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. Oh, no.
Bever Hopeox
That's it.
Scott Aukerman
Wait, what?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, and I want to thank you to Darren Ro Marinara for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Not going to stick. Maybe if I sang it. Take my pen pants now.
Scott Aukerman
What do you think the melody is?
Jason Manzoukas
Take my pants now. What is the melody to living on a prayer?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, it's living on a prayer. Oh, I didn't even make that connection.
Jason Manzoukas
Take my pants.
Bever Hopeox
Louie.
Jason Manzoukas
You know modern music. And when I say modern, I mean 40 years old.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Thanks, Lou Satchmo. What an exciting side.
Jason Manzoukas
He jumped on an eagle and flew away.
Scott Aukerman
And he did.
Jason Manzoukas
That was the eagle.
Scott Aukerman
He's. He's saying the classic Louis Armstrong. Oh, yeah. But he's smashing in and out Kool Aid man style.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, he's smash. He's having sex with Kool Aid.
Scott Aukerman
Do you think, like, Kool Aid man is just ripping off Louis Armstrong?
Jason Manzoukas
I think he might be. I mean, they're similarly built.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Yep. Same catchphrase. Their whole thing is breaking through walls.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Got a big shelf.
Scott Aukerman
Big badonka dog. Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
That's what Lou Armstrong is known for.
Scott Aukerman
When you didn't get the response you wanted, you said, big shelf. As if I wasn't clocking that you were talking about.
Jason Manzoukas
Sometimes you are talking so much. You're.
Chico Hands
You're talking.
Jason Manzoukas
You're not clocking.
Scott Aukerman
I'm. Oh, I am listening.
Jason Manzoukas
You're a talker, not a clocker.
Scott Aukerman
I can talk and clock at the same time.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, let's welcome you to the show. By the way, this is Comedy Bang Bang, the world's most ground beefing podcast. My name is Scott.
Scott Aukerman
Is that what it is now?
Bever Hopeox
Yep.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, by the way, I love it.
Jason Manzoukas
It's a ground beefing podcast. No other podcast is as ground beefing as Comedy Bang Bang.
Scott Aukerman
It's so true. Because I feel like this podcast has beefed down the barriers that have. That have withheld so much comedy gold keepers.
Bever Hopeox
Exactly.
Jason Manzoukas
The gate bers.
Scott Aukerman
Wait a minute. We can't just.
Jason Manzoukas
We can't do another substitution.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, we can't. We. It has to just be break.
Jason Manzoukas
By the way, Comedy Bang Bang. We won't quit. Unlike other podcast hosts who just decide to hang it up after 16, 17 years.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, it's just as if they want to unlock the gates and walk
Jason Manzoukas
away and just walk out. No, I'm not going to quit. I may get fired. I may decide not to do it anymore, but I'm never going to quit.
Scott Aukerman
Yes. I love that about you. I love that about you. Even in the face of inarguable statistics and metrics that are telling you evidence that would. People don't otherwise. People don't like it anymore.
Jason Manzoukas
Speaking of not liking it, we're going straight to the ready. Co host. My name is Scott Aukerman. I don't know if I said that, but my co host today, you know him as the JM of all JMs. Better than Jersey Mike's. Better than. What other JMs do we have?
Scott Aukerman
Jack McBrayer.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, hard pass guy.
Scott Aukerman
What a turkey.
Jason Manzoukas
What a turd.
Scott Aukerman
And he has no idea we're even talking about this. Yeah, he hates podcasts and thinks they're dumb.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Won't even appear on one.
Scott Aukerman
Doesn't even understand how you get one.
Jason Manzoukas
I ask him every single day.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I see him all the time. And I'm like, how come you won't be on the podcast? And he's like, what is that?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Has no idea. He's just a country bum.
Scott Aukerman
He said, what channel on the radio do I get it on?
Jason Manzoukas
You know him as on television. Television. Honestly, it's been A minute since you had, like a major, major role on something. So it is trying to figure out exactly what it is. I know you're on Thunderpants or whatever.
Scott Aukerman
I'm on Thunderpants. You know, I'm. I'm on Thunder Pants.
Bever Hopeox
What is that guy?
Jason Manzoukas
Where the guys are hurling lightning bolts at everybody.
Bever Hopeox
Thunderp Jackson.
Scott Aukerman
I think Louie might be in for the show now. The third appearance is. You have established a pattern and now you are baked in.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, no,
Jason Manzoukas
Louie, you can leave. You can leave if you want. Oh, his catchphrase again.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, of course. Percy Jackson.
Jason Manzoukas
Percy Jackson. And. Or the Olympians.
Scott Aukerman
And they have. They do have Thunderpants.
Jason Manzoukas
And you also were in a little television show by the name of Taskmaster. Series 19, Season 19.
Scott Aukerman
Appearing now on YouTube for free the entire episode.
Jason Manzoukas
You can watch them all. He's a great friend of the show. He's been on this show since the very beginning. Please welcome back Jason man.
Bever Hopeox
Zooka.
Jason Manzoukas
Hey, what's going on?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, how you doing, pal?
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so first questions first. Yeah, okay. And I'm. I'm. I'm really.
Jason Manzoukas
Let's do the first question first and the second.
Scott Aukerman
I've been wanting to ask you this question since I answered held. I'm clocking. I'm clocking everything you're saying. Don't you worry. I. I believe in concurrent talking.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
That's how we talk when we're talking to each other.
Jason Manzoukas
Robert Altman back in the 70s.
Scott Aukerman
Listen, we're all miked, so why can't we just talk all the time? Especially if Bob Balaban's here.
Jason Manzoukas
Honestly, Frank Capper is one of the first people to. To introduce this back in the 30s. He, of course, when in doing movies, you had to wait until the other one was done talking and he was
Scott Aukerman
like, what do you. What do you think? I'm gonna wait until Mr. Smith gets to Washington for everybody to start talking the whole.
Bever Hopeox
True.
Scott Aukerman
Everybody talks the whole dang time.
Jason Manzoukas
Exactly.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so here's the deal.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
There's a gigantic.
Jason Manzoukas
Hitting his microphone with his gesticulation.
Scott Aukerman
There's a gigantic pile of comics by the door. Are you getting rid of comics?
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, I am. Do you want any of them?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Is that.
Scott Aukerman
I might. I don't know. Okay, so here's my question. What is your plan for these comics? Do you.
Jason Manzoukas
I sell them. I. I have a little ebay shop with. With two P's and an E at the end.
Scott Aukerman
O. So I think so It's a little classy. I think you're supposed to put that on Etsy. Not ebay. That' but okay, so you will sell them on ebay.
Jason Manzoukas
I will sell them on ebay. But you're welcome. People know it's one thing. No.
Scott Aukerman
So okay, okay. So you're not getting like a Scott Aan personal.
Jason Manzoukas
No, no, no. I'm not signing all of these things.
Scott Aukerman
Absolute Authority Deluxe edition Sandman going out the door. Okay.
Jason Manzoukas
Sandman stuff going out the door. Unfortunately.
Scott Aukerman
Now, now, super quick Q. And we don't have to get too deep into it.
Chico Hands
Why
Jason Manzoukas
putting aside the discourse.
Scott Aukerman
I'm kidding. Okay, got it. So CU Listen, people don't want to hear us talk about comics, but people
Jason Manzoukas
don't want to hear that. That's the thing is like, I know it's very tempting, you and I to talk about comics here, but people don't want to hear that on a podcast. They want to hear about show business.
Scott Aukerman
Here's what I will say. Here's the one thing I'm going to say that made me think of this entire thing, which is assuming you are going to sell them. Great, Wonderful. If there's stuff that is too broken or too not broken, but too damaged
Jason Manzoukas
or worn or weathered.
Scott Aukerman
Children's hospitals love getting comics donated. I I so that was my whole
Jason Manzoukas
thing, my single issues. I actually donate to all of them great floppy floppies. Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital, though.
Scott Aukerman
Hey, where do I drop these flops for these hospitals?
Jason Manzoukas
Now, Jason, you haven't been on the show in a few months. Since 20, I believe I was going
Scott Aukerman
to say, I believe this is my first appearance in the new year.
Jason Manzoukas
It is in the new year. The listeners may be interested to know that my wife and I, Kulavi Lysack, we took a trip to New York City to go see our little JM on Broadway.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, boy.
Jason Manzoukas
They say the neon lights are bright there, but I had no idea I
Scott Aukerman
was on that Great White Way.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right.
Scott Aukerman
Broadway.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
You guys came out to see the show that I was in called All Out.
Jason Manzoukas
You were in a Broadway show for four weeks?
Scott Aukerman
Yes, by my A brief, a sprint of a run.
Jason Manzoukas
And that's not to say that it was canceled after four weeks.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, no.
Jason Manzoukas
That was low attendance or performance.
Scott Aukerman
That it's a show that went on for six months, but each month the cast is replaced by a new cast.
Jason Manzoukas
Totally changed. And how was your experience? Did you get a taste for the fee? I noticed during the theme song that Reggie was singing along with Louie Anderson. You were singing along? You once said that you, you hated musicals and you would never sing and now you're singing along with the theme song. Are you headed back to Broadway?
Scott Aukerman
Here's what I'm gonna say. I can't talk about it, but, you know, they're talking about bringing Phantom back, and a lot of people think that I could really deliver that.
Jason Manzoukas
I heard that they're bringing sound and music back, and I think you would make a great Nazi. Who.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, now this interesting. Now this is interesting. And because I feel like that's going to be the big thing for the new Sound of Music is very realistic. Nazis getting shot in the face.
Jason Manzoukas
But I. I was happy to see you there. It was a big. What a blessing. You there. And then I also went down the street, and I saw you in another show, which is the live Taskmaster shows.
Scott Aukerman
What? I did the Broadway show that I did, and then I left, and I ran three blocks away.
Jason Manzoukas
And did you run the entire.
Scott Aukerman
Well, the night you saw it? I did run, because I wasn't sure where I was wise.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. And then I. I think that you waited an hour to come.
Scott Aukerman
I did not wait an hour, but I did wait at least 35 minutes. And so. But. But. And yeah. And then did the Taskmaster live show, which was a blast.
Jason Manzoukas
That was a lot of fun. I. We. We cool up. And I went to that, too. It was thrilled to see it happening
Scott Aukerman
two nights in a row. And it couldn't have been more fun to watch people do Taskmaster.
Bever Hopeox
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
Live on stage.
Jason Manzoukas
They had a selection of people from the audience who won their way on stage, as well as a few comedians. Seth Meyers was there and John Oliver on the night that I was there, and they. Everyone competed in Taskmaster. I was very, very fun. A very fun show.
Scott Aukerman
It was a blast. And there was, like, such a.
Bever Hopeox
It.
Scott Aukerman
I feel like there's something wonderful about Taskmaster. When I went there to do it, the audiences are so rabid and so obsessed with the show, but are nonetheless still British, so polite, and so. How absolutely berserk American audiences were going. I very much enjoyed watching it unnerved Greg and Alex. How rapturous did they.
Jason Manzoukas
Do they sort of look to each other and say, like, why aren't we just doing it here?
Scott Aukerman
I think that. Well, I do think they really were like, holy. This is. It's not just. Of course they know it's popular, has
Jason Manzoukas
popularity, but sure, they're seeing the data, the numbers. They're out there with their reading glasses on, getting the printouts.
Scott Aukerman
They've got a jeweler's loop on the. On the YouTube numbers. But. But I don't think they get anything close to this kind of like.
Bever Hopeox
Like.
Scott Aukerman
Like chaos, verbal approbation, craziness. There's clips online, and you can see it. People are going nuts. And I think they were really taken aback. In a good way.
Jason Manzoukas
It was great. And then you came out and surprised everyone. No one knew you were going to be there, and it was a really fun night. Then I went backstage and Alex actually knew who I was.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
And. Which led me to believe that I'm gonna be on series 21.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, I don't know if you're allowed to say, but do you want to talk about your experiences at the house?
Jason Manzoukas
I was confused the entire time.
Scott Aukerman
What am I doing here? I'm not even on the show.
Jason Manzoukas
I was just trying to break in. It was. It was a blast. It was a great trip. It was fun.
Scott Aukerman
The second night, I will say the second night I did it. Lisa Gilroy.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
Was one of the comedian guests and was as relentlessly going after Alex as she does you on this show, and there was nothing more delightful.
Jason Manzoukas
I don't know that she's ever been a guest on this show, but I've heard of her.
Scott Aukerman
You know what I mean?
Jason Manzoukas
And I need to. I need to educate myself.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, you should. You should get to know Gilroy.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, it was great. And. But we're. We're happy to have you back here.
Scott Aukerman
Los Angeles, 92 degrees today here in sunny LA. March, early March, 92.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. But you're back now. Anything on the horizon? You. We talked about. You haven't had, like, a big, major role in a while. What's going.
Scott Aukerman
You know, I don't. I don't.
Chico Hands
I don't know.
Scott Aukerman
You know what? I'm really. You said this comes out Monday. No, I got nothing.
Jason Manzoukas
You got nothing?
Bever Hopeox
Really?
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, so something's being announced after Monday.
Scott Aukerman
We'll see. Okay, we'll see.
Jason Manzoukas
All right. This is good to know.
Scott Aukerman
We'll see.
Jason Manzoukas
Be on the hunt. Enter into your Google searches. You know what?
Scott Aukerman
I'm trying to work more this year. I had my back operated on last year, so I'm back in action by you.
Jason Manzoukas
You're like the Looney Tunes.
Scott Aukerman
I was like, my back hurts. And you were like, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos about back surgery. Let me do it.
Jason Manzoukas
Let me do it. And it's ironic that you're back in action when it was your back preventing
Scott Aukerman
you from being out of action. Yeah, my back is back.
Jason Manzoukas
Crazy how life works these days.
Scott Aukerman
How crazy is it? That life works that way. Right.
Jason Manzoukas
35 crazy.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. It's the. The data.
Scott Aukerman
The stats that. Oh, whoa. Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
Statistics.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
For the layperson.
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
Jason Manzoukas
But we're glad to have you back and back here on Comedy Bang Bang. And I would love to have you on the show several times this year, but we need to get to our next guest.
Scott Aukerman
But you would like you.
Jason Manzoukas
I would like to.
Scott Aukerman
But you would love to have me on several times this year.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, wait, no. You have been on this year already.
Scott Aukerman
I have.
Jason Manzoukas
You were on episode 950.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay, I forgot. You're right.
Jason Manzoukas
Anyway, good to have you back.
Scott Aukerman
Thrilled to be here. Ignore everything we've said. Let's get the guests in here.
Jason Manzoukas
I will say in between nine, 50 in this one. We did do that trip to New York, so there you go.
Scott Aukerman
That's what it was. Okay, That's.
Bisbee St. Hancock
All right.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, let's get to our next guests. Jason, I'm not sure if you know these guys. They are some entrepreneurs. We have entrepreneurs back on Comedy Bang Bang.
Scott Aukerman
Thank God. You know, we're back in that era where people are picking themselves up by their bootstraps and doing it themselves.
Jason Manzoukas
Finally, some sort of combination of the tariffs in the Strait of Hormuz.
Bever Hopeox
Hormuz.
Jason Manzoukas
People are saying it's. It's time to get back into business.
Scott Aukerman
Yep. Yes, people are saying that.
Jason Manzoukas
They're saying, like, let's. Let's dust off our hands and pull our bootstraps up and get back into business. These three gentlemen are no exception. They have a business out here called the Calvin's Family Bee, Honey Taffy Farm and Horse Fighting Ranch. Please welcome back to the show Bever Hopeox, Chico Hands, and Bisbee St. Hancock, AKA the Calvin's Triplets.
Bever Hopeox
All right.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, now.
Bever Hopeox
No, no.
Scott Aukerman
Who's that?
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's me. Bisbee St. Hancock.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, Bisbee. Saying, are you usually the first one to talk?
Scott Aukerman
And do you always talk so quietly as if. As if you're not sure you if it's right?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, I'll be honest. I am the beta of the group, so I do.
Jason Manzoukas
You're. You're worse than the beta. You're the. What's after Beta? The like.
Bever Hopeox
I don't know.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's as low as I've gone.
Bever Hopeox
Cicada. There it is, Scott.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Bever Hopeox
And jth, great to be back here in the studio.
Jason Manzoukas
Bever, welcome back to the show. And then we also have. Chico is over here.
Chico Hands
That's me. How we doing, fellas? Scotland, great to see you.
Jason Manzoukas
Wonderful to See you, Chico.
Chico Hands
As well as you, Mr. Manzuka. Hello, Broadway.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, we. We met, I think last year maybe.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, okay, you guys, you do know each other then, I think it was two years ago, I believe.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, two years ago for sure. We were, we were reminiscing about, I believe, a trial that we'd all attend.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh. Oh, yeah, that's ringing.
Bever Hopeox
Some sort century trial.
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
Which one? This one.
Bever Hopeox
This century. Very realistic. Because of the last 25, 26 years. The OJ one was huge.
Chico Hands
Gun. Cow. Last century.
Bever Hopeox
Yep.
Jason Manzoukas
Welcome back to the show, guys.
Bever Hopeox
John Proctor.
Scott Aukerman
Sure. Okay.
Bever Hopeox
That was a crazy.
Scott Aukerman
That was crazy.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Like, what are some underrated trials? You know, I mean, we get all the, all the big ones, but like, we always talk about the trial of the century. But what are those? Underrated? Below the radar, mom and Occidental.
Bever Hopeox
I did that for a trial period.
Scott Aukerman
I like that.
Bever Hopeox
Underwhelming.
Jason Manzoukas
Do you have any.
Bever Hopeox
I wasn't gonna wait the three to six months.
Scott Aukerman
Yep.
Bever Hopeox
Little dry mouth.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Suicidal thoughts.
Bever Hopeox
Nuremberg.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
I think NBERG was a side effect of minoxidil.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, welcome back to the show, guys. It's wonderful to see you. You, you've been on so many years. I believe you, you, you must have been on for the p. This is our 17th year almost, and you've been on for 14 of them or so. You, you're wonderful guests. And of course you run the Calvin's family Bee honey taffy farm and horse fight. That again. That's off of some freeways, I think.
Chico Hands
Well, it's up north a bit. So coming from LA, you'd want to get on the 405.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Chico Hands
And just shoot right on up north.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Shoot up.
Jason Manzoukas
Shoot on up north.
Bever Hopeox
You know, left foot down 405 from
Jason Manzoukas
LA just goes maybe a couple of miles.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Chico Hands
Well, then you got, you got a
Bever Hopeox
left foot down, lead foot, left foot down.
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
Which. My left foot is my lead foot. And it makes breaking very different.
Jason Manzoukas
That was the original title of My
Bever Hopeox
Left Foot, I believe. Side effects of minoxid. My be led. Left foot.
Jason Manzoukas
So you go up the 405 and. And you're there.
Bever Hopeox
No, it's in Valencia.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, we've never have.
Bever Hopeox
We never said that.
Jason Manzoukas
We never said that.
Bever Hopeox
It's right there. Cross across the freeway from cattle.
Chico Hands
We're trying to open up an annex in Valencia for, for the population right here in la. But, but to get to the ranch, you're going to have to take the 405, get off on the 406.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, exit the Ram. But don't do anything nasty, man business, Right?
Jason Manzoukas
Right off.
Bever Hopeox
I saw your hand go for your belt loop and I got nervous.
Chico Hands
Every time I say get off, he makes a big deal. Like I was talking about sex stuff.
Jason Manzoukas
21 positions in a one night stand.
Scott Aukerman
He's just always. This is a Prince quote there.
Jason Manzoukas
What you want to eat, Victoria? Ribs. I don't serve ribs. Well, it's. You'll find it. Once you hit the 405, keep going up to the 406, then the 407, then successive numbers.
Chico Hands
Yeah. The 408 to 409. 409 is more or less the formula. Yeah, just a great formula.
Bever Hopeox
And Janet, don't lose those directions.
Chico Hands
Circular highway. Get right on off. And we're right off on Calvin's Triplet Ranch Way Boulevard.
Jason Manzoukas
You got the street named after you guys. Finally. Oh, you spray paint painted. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was talking, not clocking.
Scott Aukerman
It's all right. Don't worry about it. Keep moving.
Bever Hopeox
Now you.
Jason Manzoukas
Of course, during October. That was taffy season.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
And you. You watched all of the Walking Dead, Is that right? Including all.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Every Halloween, we watch all of the
Jason Manzoukas
Walking Dead, including all the spin offs.
Bever Hopeox
Right.
Jason Manzoukas
With Carol and Bob and Fear the Walking Head.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And we read the comics to each other.
Bever Hopeox
We read us the comics.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
Wow.
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
We came up with a couple of new taffy flavors, too, Scott.
Jason Manzoukas
I'd love to hear these.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Backwards apple.
Jason Manzoukas
What does that mean? Backwards apple. Meaning it tastes like the core first and then.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Nailed it.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
Wow. Cool.
Jason Manzoukas
And then once you get in the middle there, there's the. The apple flavor that we all love.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Seed to skin, we call it.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay.
Bever Hopeox
Easy there. Exit. The bathroom exit. Okay, that.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right. Sea water. Sea.
Scott Aukerman
Sea water.
Jason Manzoukas
Now is that sea stands for something.
Scott Aukerman
Is that different than salt water?
Bisbee St. Hancock
No, it is. It's a C. Dash Water.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, okay. What does the C stand for? Don't mind me.
Chico Hands
Never.
Bisbee St. Hancock
They wouldn't let us put it on the.
Bever Hopeox
For my belt loops again. No, no. Different town.
Chico Hands
Sky.
Bever Hopeox
Different. Oh.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh. Is that another.
Bever Hopeox
So this is.
Jason Manzoukas
That's an acronym.
Bever Hopeox
It is.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, okay. What does that stand for?
Bever Hopeox
Bless you. Untethered. Nether Collectible. Oh, wow.
Jason Manzoukas
This sounds delicious.
Bever Hopeox
It actually did black magic.
Jason Manzoukas
Wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And.
Bever Hopeox
But you know what?
Bisbee St. Hancock
The third one is my favorite.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
BlackBerry.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh, wow.
Jason Manzoukas
That's. That's a pretty standard flavor.
Bever Hopeox
Actually.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's an acronym.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, okay.
Jason Manzoukas
What does BlackBerry say?
Bever Hopeox
Be.
Jason Manzoukas
You've been elected.
Bever Hopeox
It stands for BlackBerry licorice. Apple, parenthesis backwards, Celeste, your king time. But everybody really, really yummy time. Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, This. I mean, this sounds great.
Scott Aukerman
That does sound very.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's basically backwards apple again.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
A little different flavors, but it's really yummy.
Scott Aukerman
How many flavors total do you have?
Bisbee St. Hancock
What is that? We counted them. We counted them. This fall, I think we have over
Chico Hands
14,000.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Just over 14,000.
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
Last year alone.
Scott Aukerman
When you're introducing new flavors, are you retiring? Flavors are there now some that are no longer.
Jason Manzoukas
Are you putting them in the Disney
Scott Aukerman
vault or the Calvin's Vault or raising their jerseys to the ceiling?
Bisbee St. Hancock
We did retire a couple. We retired stick.
Jason Manzoukas
Stick. That's right. I think we talked about that last time. Right?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Stick didn't sell. Yeah, I loved it.
Chico Hands
It's good. But it's pretty much the same as branch. And that's what I was saying in our.
Jason Manzoukas
Branch is one of your top sellers.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I disagree. Branch had leave. Stick didn't have leaves.
Bever Hopeox
Branch is still bach attached.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Bever Hopeox
Stick done fall down.
Bisbee St. Hancock
There it is.
Scott Aukerman
Thought at all about doing taffy for dogs. Oh, Taffy for dogs. I feel like Branch and stick would be.
Bever Hopeox
We thought about it, but ended up being a little rough.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, hey, Bever.
Jason Manzoukas
Now, Be, you were telling me you have a joke book coming out.
Bever Hopeox
That's right. This man be, AKA Calvin Smith's Calvins parenthetical, AKA Bever Ho Pox Alpha Be in. In the English tongue. I was doing the old English. I'm a big Tolkien. Great.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
That works.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You had. You had AI right. Most of that book.
Bever Hopeox
I. And I did not proofread it. Nope. And it's just called Beva's Yucca Mupps.
Jason Manzoukas
Bever's Yucca Muffs.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Wow.
Bever Hopeox
Which is an acronym. Okay, take it away.
Chico Hands
Oh, Bevis Yucca Mucks. Give me a piece of paper for no reason. Bevis Yucca Mupps is book. Everybody. Everybody is really apostrophe susceptible.
Jason Manzoukas
You know, Even the Oz in there.
Bever Hopeox
Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Wow.
Bever Hopeox
Come on.
Jason Manzoukas
With a K. Uhhuh.
Bever Hopeox
Uh huh.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Oh, yeah. I. I somehow guessed it.
Chico Hands
My story.
Jason Manzoukas
I think we forgot the U and the P in there.
Bever Hopeox
Maybe you take care of your bathroom business on your own.
Jason Manzoukas
I'm reaching for my bell. Wow. Well, this is big news. Big news. But. So you're retiring some flavors. New flavors. A new joke book. You guys are just. You have your fingers in so many pies. What a big year. Yeah, Big year.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Have to reach out. You gotta. You gotta diversify in this economy. Make sure we're still Bringing in some food and for. We're very hungry all the time. As we've told you. The horses eat. God. They go through thousands of pounds of. Of food every day. We have to make sure we're making money.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. The. The horses. Of course. On your course. They, they as.
Bever Hopeox
That is, unless. As discussed.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. As discussed on previous episodes.
Scott Aukerman
And the name of that horse. Of course.
Bever Hopeox
Of course.
Jason Manzoukas
Horse fighting bouts every single day of the year that people can come out and see where horses beat each other to death.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Death.
Bever Hopeox
Greatest sport in the world.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Scott Aukerman
How much. This is a good question. How much more.
Jason Manzoukas
I love that you're judging and rating your question.
Scott Aukerman
Here's a great. Guys, here's a great question and I'm sure you're not used to hearing great questions. How much is the. Your income predicated on the horse fighting? And, and because are you the.
Jason Manzoukas
Are you the house money for these? That's what I'm wondering, you know, are you. Does the house always win when it comes to these, these, these bouts that
Scott Aukerman
you're doing or are you just hosting the event and it's a flat fee for hosting the event?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Little of both.
Bever Hopeox
That's right. And yeah, we, we. We borrowed from the McDonald's sort of business infrastructure.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah.
Bever Hopeox
You know, literally.
Jason Manzoukas
You borrowed a bunch of money from them.
Bever Hopeox
We borrowed from them. And Michael Keaton was like, if you own the land on which you are leasing out to these fighting horses.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Bever Hopeox
Their teams. It's just a beautiful like constant stream of money.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Sorry, sorry.
Bever Hopeox
More of like a. A cyclical like hand feeds mouth foot fists.
Scott Aukerman
Oroboros, if you will.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. So you own your ranch.
Bever Hopeox
New flavors or a borough staffing.
Bisbee St. Hancock
We do own the ranch. Well, they own the ranch. They let me stay there. I have my place in Tampa still.
Bever Hopeox
That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh yeah. That's the satellite ranch that you used to own before you were adopted.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right, Scott.
Jason Manzoukas
And we found out that you were a brother.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right. Gent got.
Bever Hopeox
He's not heavy.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'm in their brother.
Chico Hands
And we do.
Scott Aukerman
For.
Chico Hands
For anyone who's forgotten, we. It is technically one ranch because we have a one foot wide strip of
Jason Manzoukas
land all the way across the United States.
Chico Hands
Directly across the United States with the one up in Northern California.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Right to the bay.
Jason Manzoukas
Wow. And so you have this going on obviously. And, but, but 20, 26, you know, if I know the Calvin's triplets, there's always something new that you're working on. You know the, the horse fighting has been well covered. The taffy has been well covered. But what's going on in the world of the triplets now?
Bever Hopeox
Joke book wasn't enough already?
Jason Manzoukas
I mean it sounds like you've only read.
Bever Hopeox
I've been maybe too confident. It's the first time where I'm checking myself and I appreciate that. I thought for sure this was going to be biggest money maker enterprise of in triplets history. The joke books now we know stands for.
Scott Aukerman
Yep. But. But we're living in a world Bevers where you're the only name on the book. I can't help but notice that neither I know.
Jason Manzoukas
Were you guys both a little upset that you're not part of the book?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Silent co authors.
Scott Aukerman
Silent co ops. Is that.
Bever Hopeox
What is that his words?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, we knew he was the personality of the group.
Scott Aukerman
He is.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's he was gonna sell it.
Scott Aukerman
He's the face of the Calvin's.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right. I hate to admit it.
Jason Manzoukas
So what. What percentage of the book did you guys write?
Chico Hands
Well it's not so much about sitting down and writing. It's just everybody's always joking and a goofing around coming up with a bon mot.
Jason Manzoukas
Or is a big part of this book just describing these guys like during the day and just like goofing around.
Bever Hopeox
We would borrow. We'd. Yes. And each other. We didn't spy each other. And then as silent riders, I'd go write it.
Scott Aukerman
Oh wow.
Jason Manzoukas
And so make them write down a transcription of what they just said.
Bever Hopeox
That's right. And they're going to remember better they said it. Right.
Chico Hands
Right.
Scott Aukerman
So if they're. If even if you're not around, they're trained to write down every funny thing that happens to them.
Jason Manzoukas
That is correct.
Bever Hopeox
That is. I'm a bit of a. A tinkerer, a flinkerer, a rip rinking historian about Lincoln.
Chico Hands
Her old stinking her.
Bever Hopeox
And okay, only when you cook.
Chico Hands
But writing it down.
Bever Hopeox
I have my own little he he shed in the back of the. Of the fighting wrench there. And I like to. I like to weld, I like to solder. And I invented these little ankle bracelets that I attached to my dear beloved brothers that will give them a little zap.
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
If they're chuckling, if they're doing a
Bisbee St. Hancock
yuck them up of their own and
Jason Manzoukas
they know to write it down.
Chico Hands
Write it right down.
Jason Manzoukas
So basically you guys are writing what you're doing all day. This is almost like a book. It's almost like a book about just like you guys lives basically.
Scott Aukerman
You're publishing their diaries?
Jason Manzoukas
In a lot of ways, yeah. What was the heartbreaking work of staggering genius? What do you call that kind of book?
Scott Aukerman
A memoir.
Jason Manzoukas
Memoir.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, this is the French. This is funny though. This is very funny. It's full of. It's packed full of jokes. It's. You know when you pour a cup of coffee and you're like God damn it, put it. It's too close to the brim.
Scott Aukerman
It's so cool that there's a book that has jokes in it because for me, whenever need a joke, I just, I just ask AI twit. I just ask Gro. I just say Grock. Tell me a great funny joke, you know, that I can use at a party to really impress people.
Jason Manzoukas
So I mean Bisby, I see you have the book right there. Do you read one of the pages?
Bisbee St. Hancock
You got it. Pick a page. Pick or pick a subject.
Jason Manzoukas
Cuz it's 69 if you know what I'm saying. You want subject or page?
Chico Hands
Where he goes again, Slap his hand away.
Bever Hopeox
Scotland. Bad Scotland.
Scott Aukerman
You're going to have to get one of those electric electrical ankle bracelets from Scott.
Bever Hopeox
Belt loop. Zap. Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
Does it come a little thicker than an ankle, if you know what I mean?
Bever Hopeox
Hell, that's what she said.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, what do you call, what do you call a day without the sun?
Scott Aukerman
What?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Single parent.
Jason Manzoukas
That's actually more of a joke than I thought it was going to be.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It was actually more a joke than I thought it was going.
Scott Aukerman
You know what? If that's the level of joke that's
Bisbee St. Hancock
in, that's the best.
Scott Aukerman
Let's do more. Let's do more.
Jason Manzoukas
Worried that it's not going to live up to that.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I will say this. Guess who does like these jokes?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, who?
Jason Manzoukas
Who's that?
Bisbee St. Hancock
The horses.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, horses.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Horses are not funny.
Scott Aukerman
Animals just in general, we found that
Bisbee St. Hancock
out the hard way. Serious. They, they. There was a bit of an uprising.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh well, I can imagine half of them realize that the very next day they're going to be led to their deaths in a horse fight.
Scott Aukerman
Well, they are fighting for their lives.
Jason Manzoukas
They don't want to hear humor.
Scott Aukerman
They don't want to live in a world of levity when they know that their lives are about to come to an abrupt end at the hands of. Of or at the hooves.
Bever Hopeox
In theory, I would agree with both of you. It's a deadly serious matter when your life is on the line. And yeah, I am. I'd be remiss to not look back at perhaps the greatest fisticuffs fight of all time. Mr. Muhammad Ali.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, you would be remiss not to mention him.
Bever Hopeox
He's funny.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Funny man.
Bever Hopeox
He's always cracking wild.
Jason Manzoukas
I watch that movie Ali and Yeah.
Bever Hopeox
I mean that movie slaps. Yeah. And Will.
Jason Manzoukas
And Will Smith, you know, is already funny. So to add. Is that the book, by the way?
Bever Hopeox
Not too late.
Jason Manzoukas
A little epilogue.
Bever Hopeox
I got it.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I got it. I'm right.
Jason Manzoukas
But so I mean you. You disagree. You think the horses would.
Bever Hopeox
In theory. I. I thought that at least we'd have one or two great ones. Just with how many horses coming in, how many birds, how many training mon. As we have to have force and horses. And then you know, the burials, the incinerations in the freezers. Beating up freezer horse meat that's left
Jason Manzoukas
over from the day before from the dead horses.
Chico Hands
Th them back out in the giant microwave. Etc.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. You guys do have that giant microwave.
Scott Aukerman
Giant microwave.
Bever Hopeox
One of my other tinker.
Jason Manzoukas
You're an inventor.
Bever Hopeox
I'm an adventure. So sue me.
Jason Manzoukas
But you make. You make things giant that already exist.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah. It's easier to see that way. How's it going, Scarlet?
Scott Aukerman
And mostly it's just for horse stuff.
Bever Hopeox
It's a lot of horse technology. Yes. Yeah, of course.
Jason Manzoukas
Of course. This is a horse microwave.
Bever Hopeox
Of course. Of course.
Chico Hands
I would say a couple things here. We talk more. We mentioned the microwave before, but Scott's always so surprised by when we talk about that stuff. That's because he's never taken us up on that invitation to come visit the ranch.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. I. I've never been by. I really want to go at some point.
Scott Aukerman
I would love to. We should go together.
Jason Manzoukas
Make a day trip of it or.
Scott Aukerman
I'd love to go up. I'd to love. Love to. I'd love to see the. Get some taffy. I'd love to. And tell me. The one thing I feel like we almost never touch on is the honey. You know that sweet treat known as honey.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. Because it is Calvin's family bee honey, taffy farm and horse fighting.
Scott Aukerman
Right. Which. And I. And I love knowing that it's honey from bees.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Is this a family of bees?
Bever Hopeox
It's a byproduct. It's. It's a. It's a beehive. If you may recall. The bees are mostly there to stick the hooves of the fighting horses so they swell up to boxing glove size.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right.
Bever Hopeox
That's what the beast is there for.
Scott Aukerman
Of course. I do remember that Sort of just as aftermath a byproduct.
Chico Hands
And then we just make the taffy from that. So it's all, it's.
Scott Aukerman
It's an Oroboros, if you will.
Bever Hopeox
It's just, it's just a plain Oroboro.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's. Honestly, we've described it like that many times. That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, I, I want to hear how you train the beast to do this, but we need. We're coming up on the break here. Oh, my God. Do you mind telling that on air?
Bever Hopeox
Maybe after a break?
Jason Manzoukas
All right, Bever, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Jason Manzoukas, more Bever Hopebox, more Chico hands, more Bisby St. Hancock and the Calvin Striplets.
Scott Aukerman
And one last appearance from Louis Armstrong.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. Just one more. And it can't be now because we want to save him in case something happens.
Bever Hopeox
We'll be right back,
Scott Aukerman
Kool Aid man.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, we're gonna be right back with
Jason Manzoukas
more comedy backpack after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just beginning or ready to grow your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website site. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, premium workshops, so much stuff. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You know what they say, cold days, goal days. You know how they say that all the time, right? No. But cold days are here and you have big goals during these cold days. So they're almost like goal day, cold days, gold days. It makes perfect sense. Anyway, during these cold days and gold days, you probably don't have any time to cook, right? Well, factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs. So I guess the the process is there's a Bunch of dietitians. I wonder how many dietitians they have on staff. Probably hundreds. They're all in their cubes. You can't make dietitians stay in cubicles. Right? They must all have like, like corner. Corner offices, right? A lot of corners in this building. I'm imagining with hundreds of dietitians, they design the meals, then they pass it off to the chefs who then go like, well what am I supposed to do? And then they craft them. I don't know what the process is, but it works. Factor has a variety of meals that fit your goals and schedule, whether that's healthier eating, calorie management or more protein. And every meal meal is made with quality functional ingredients including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients and healthy fats. Now I got a bunch of factor stuff I've had. Look, honestly, I've had factor for years now. It's great stuff that tastes good. They were a sponsor and they gave me some free stuff and honestly I've been on the. What's the opposite of being on the payroll? I've been paying them, if you can imagine. I've been paying Factor. Factor. It's great stuff. Head over to factor meals.com Bang Bang 50 off. I know that's a mouthful. I'll repeat it. Factor meals.com Bang Bang 50 off. Use the code Bang Bang 50 off which I just said to get 50% off. That's how it makes sense. And free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with factor new subscribers only varies by planning plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.
Scott Aukerman
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Jason Manzoukas
Comedy Bang bang. We're back. Jason Manzukas is here of course. Taskmaster series 19 and you excited for series 20. That's probably coming out.
Scott Aukerman
20 has already come out. 20.
Jason Manzoukas
Sorry, no. 21. 21.
Bever Hopeox
This comes out on Monday.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, the Kamal is going to be on and it's. I'm very excited, I think. And Arman Armando Iannucci who created. Yes, it's a great cast. I've already seen a little bit of it, and it's very funny.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, Mr. Scottley.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Bisbee St. Hancock
How come you've never let us put one of our commercials on your TV show here?
Scott Aukerman
I.
Jason Manzoukas
It's not a TV show, it's a podcast. He says begrudgingly. And I would love to have a commercial. You've never sent me any commercial. Do you guys want to record right now?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Didn't we send him a bunch of.
Jason Manzoukas
No, I don't think so.
Bever Hopeox
I thought I told Chico to mail it over.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Chico.
Chico Hands
I didn't have the mailing address, so I sent it via fax. And Scott, have you been receiving your faxes?
Jason Manzoukas
I did not receive any facts.
Scott Aukerman
Well, I think it's.
Chico Hands
Oh, no, no. A facsimile.
Jason Manzoukas
Different thing. But I haven't received one of those either.
Scott Aukerman
Well, it's also. It's hard to send a. Like, I'm an audio recording. Yes. A message that contains an audio recording.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And video.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right.
Scott Aukerman
And. Oh, and video.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, now that's interest as well.
Jason Manzoukas
3D. You could send the ones and zeros over. And if I decoded that correctly, they would. They would.
Scott Aukerman
But, like, do you guys have. Is there. Do you have a jingle that goes. Do you have.
Jason Manzoukas
Let's hear a commercial. Let's just lay one down.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You like honey?
Bever Hopeox
Do you like horse fighting?
Chico Hands
Do you like taffy?
Bever Hopeox
Well, yeah. We got a place for you. That's right. Come on down to Kevin stripless horse riding Daffy Bee. Honey. Have a good old flip flop, snippy snippet, snappy good old time with a family of eight O's straight out of LA on the 405 north, turn and get off.
Bisbee St. Hancock
No family on the 406, but not
Bever Hopeox
that type of get off. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday all day long.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Watch the greatest horse writing in all of California and Tampa.
Chico Hands
But stay home if you don't like seeing dead horses. Bye.
Jason Manzoukas
Bye.
Bisbee St. Hancock
50% off on stick flavored taffy, this octo.
Bever Hopeox
I'm like, oh, yeah, there he was. He came in for that.
Jason Manzoukas
Adding a little star.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah, that was a good friend of ours.
Jason Manzoukas
Now we know who.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah, that is cool.
Scott Aukerman
Now, the only way that I think that could be better is if we replicate it exactly. No, I was gonna just say I feel like all the. The somebody in the audience can put that to music and you can.
Jason Manzoukas
I think that would be great. The one thing I do want to see, say, is, Bisby, you seem to be doing, like, putting a little. Yeah. Stank on it. I would love to see one where you just threw it away.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, I can do that.
Jason Manzoukas
You didn't sound like yourself.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, I took a commercial acting class and they told me to pick a character and lean into it.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, really? Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I did like an old timey sort of.
Jason Manzoukas
Who taught the class? Was it one of these guys?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Leslie Khan.
Scott Aukerman
Leslie Khan. Okay. The.
Bever Hopeox
The constitute.
Scott Aukerman
Of course. Yes.
Bever Hopeox
Gotta find the thought.
Scott Aukerman
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right. Find the turn, find the reversal.
Bever Hopeox
And also, let's just break it down for a little bit and check in with everybody, see how we're doing for about 75% of the class.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, let's. Let's light 50 candles.
Bever Hopeox
This is not. Love you, Leslie.
Jason Manzoukas
Not ringing any bells for me. Never taking an acting class.
Bever Hopeox
Be honey, taffy farm and horse. Hot and rare. Bring the whole family. For families of eight or less.
Chico Hands
Hope you like taffy and honey and
Bisbee St. Hancock
bees and horse fighting. The best horse fighting in all of California and Tampa.
Chico Hands
Head on straight on up to 405, get off of the 406, onto the 407th, 408, 409. Just goes round and round in a circle.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It ends up that way, though. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, 50 off on stick candy. All this October.
Chico Hands
Stay home if you don't like dead horses.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, yeah. I mean, wow.
Scott Aukerman
It's getting better. And I will say that had. I'm gonna say at least 85, same material. Yeah, well, I was impressive. No, no, that is.
Chico Hands
That is.
Jason Manzoukas
Those are high.
Bever Hopeox
We made some edits on the fly.
Scott Aukerman
Now, now, different, different, different members said we recap cast, we recast, which I like. I like that you all weren't on. On the same line.
Bisbee St. Hancock
We'll do it one more time.
Bever Hopeox
We're not afraid to pass the ball.
Jason Manzoukas
And pisby. Do you want to.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You want me to throw it away
Jason Manzoukas
now I felt like it.
Bever Hopeox
John Stockton.
Jason Manzoukas
Now I felt like it was too little.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Okay, I'll go back to the constitute.
Scott Aukerman
Now it's medium, over rehearsed and over rot. I remember, like, this is your business. This is what you do every day.
Jason Manzoukas
I honestly would love to hear it if. If you maybe were to impersonate like a famous celebrity or something like that.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Sure.
Jason Manzoukas
Like, yeah, yeah. Or maybe all of you could just.
Scott Aukerman
Do you do any impressions?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, he does.
Bever Hopeox
Ton Bisbee's always. Well, I'm sure all.
Jason Manzoukas
All of these are in the joke book, right?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'm known for my impression. If you.
Scott Aukerman
You are?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah. Give me anybody.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, anybody.
Jason Manzoukas
Cary Grant.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Carrie Grant in a subject to talk about. Okay.
Scott Aukerman
Getting. Taking the library book out from the library.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Okay, there's Carrie G.R. grant taken a library book out of the library. And would you play the librarian?
Bever Hopeox
Beva, it would be my honor.
Jason Manzoukas
You're down on one knee.
Scott Aukerman
Wow, this is romantic.
Bever Hopeox
Chivalry is not bad when it comes to impromptu impressions.
Scott Aukerman
I love this library.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'd like to take this hottie Boys book out for the day.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, my God. Carrie Grant. I'm your biggest fan.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, not today, miss Mrs.
Bever Hopeox
He's got here holding a gun on. Hey, get down.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Get on the floor.
Bever Hopeox
Laying down. Hey, please. I have a family. You dirty little slut. Pull up your skirt. Please, Mr. Grant, please don't. What the fuck are you doing over there? Cary Grant. Brad Pitt. You're goddamn right it's Brad Pitt. Put the gun away. I'll put it away.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Brad Pitt spoiled my plan again.
Bever Hopeox
Put the skirt down, give me the Grant. And thank you, Mr.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Pit, but I'm taking the Hardy Boys book all the way home. And I'll read it, too.
Chico Hands
Not if you don't got a library card.
Jason Manzoukas
You.
Bever Hopeox
Damn it, Pit. You're never going to let me win. Well, look who's here at the library. Jackson. Jack. No. Okay. It's me, Louis Armstrong.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, this is his speaking voice. I've never heard it before.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, yeah.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh, no.
Jason Manzoukas
Incredible scene.
Bever Hopeox
Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
That's a good commercial right there.
Scott Aukerman
For the library. That's for Libby, the library app.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And that's my least best.
Scott Aukerman
That.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, wow.
Jason Manzoukas
That's your least.
Scott Aukerman
That's your least best. And that's the best way to say that.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yep. It's the fastest, most efficient way to say my words.
Scott Aukerman
That's my least best impression.
Chico Hands
Stick was our least best flavor.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, that's right.
Bever Hopeox
That's right.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Chico.
Scott Aukerman
Wow. That was like. I felt transported.
Jason Manzoukas
I really did to.
Scott Aukerman
That was immersive. Do you guys ever think about doing. Adding an element to what you're already doing, which is kind of immersive, theatrical, kind of almost like a.
Jason Manzoukas
Once the families of eight or less,
Scott Aukerman
we have Halloween horror nights or that kind of thing where.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's interesting.
Scott Aukerman
When you enter the. When you enter the ranch. When you enter.
Jason Manzoukas
It's every outdoor theater.
Bever Hopeox
Calvin's Family Bee Honey Taffy Farm and horse fighting Ranch impressions. Recession for when times are hard on the dollar.
Scott Aukerman
Something like that. Escape room could be a component of it where people have to move through. They maybe have to fight a horse
Jason Manzoukas
or people lock you up and you have to escape.
Bever Hopeox
We have no.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh, a reverse escape.
Jason Manzoukas
Reverse escape room. Wouldn't that be cool?
Scott Aukerman
That's Pretty cool.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Never.
Chico Hands
Never.
Scott Aukerman
Hey, why don't we go over here?
Chico Hands
You know how Jason just said the word transport? And then he started said some stuff about stuff we could do at the ranch. And then we're talking about how Scotland's never been to the ranch.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Chico Hands
What if we kidnapped these two right now? We took them up to the ranch.
Bever Hopeox
Well, I mean, Bisbee still has that real gun he used as a prop during the Cary Grand.
Chico Hands
You still got that?
Jason Manzoukas
Good.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I always carry my real gun. God.
Chico Hands
We could bring them up to the immersive experience up at the ranch. The one we've been working on but ain't told nobody about.
Bisbee St. Hancock
The one that is our version of the Hoop Dee Doo review.
Bever Hopeox
The one that all of us know exactly what it is and are excited to show it off in equal measure
Bisbee St. Hancock
with our opening song that we've never performed live, but we've practiced in secret
Chico Hands
for years with the one that we've got the perfect captive audience for because they're tied to up by us.
Bever Hopeox
All right.
Jason Manzoukas
Hey, guys. Hey. What's going on? Oh, Jason and I are back to do the show. We just took a little sidebar over there to discuss kind of what we wanted to ask you. But before we ask you these questions,
Bever Hopeox
you promenaded around the parlor.
Jason Manzoukas
We did. But we want to turn our backs to you, if you don't mind, just to confer one last time.
Chico Hands
That's a great idea.
Scott Aukerman
Now listen, it's only because we would only turn our backs on you because we trust you implicitly.
Bever Hopeox
Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
We know you would never do anything to us.
Scott Aukerman
Puts us in an incredibly vulnerable position.
Bever Hopeox
Yes, exactly. Cool.
Chico Hands
Here, with a loud loop, drag them. Wrap them up in the tree by their feet.
Bever Hopeox
You're coming with us. And you're gonna like it. Hold on. Bisbee's having a seizure. Don't let Fallers tell us what's wrong with him.
Chico Hands
Out of it.
Bever Hopeox
Come on.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Sorry. Violence.
Scott Aukerman
Wait.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Violence does that to me.
Scott Aukerman
Question. Has time passed?
Bever Hopeox
No, about 30 seconds.
Jason Manzoukas
Stop talking.
Chico Hands
Put the bag back over your head. Do I got to hit him with a log?
Bever Hopeox
Why is she going Ow.
Jason Manzoukas
Why is the bag over my head? Is it cuz I'm ugly or so
Chico Hands
you don't know where you're going?
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, okay, that makes sense. Hit him with the log. God damn. All right, so where are we going?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Get in the back of the Volvo.
Scott Aukerman
Okay. Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Fine. You could have just asked us. Us?
Bever Hopeox
I got the mics. Hold on. Let me pl these into the battery here. All my tinkering is coming useful Right now, all. There we go. Now we can move mobily and freely without ever losing quality and sound.
Scott Aukerman
So it's going to sound good, but we will also hear the. The ambient sound of us driving through Los Angeles. Oh, wow. A trolley there.
Bever Hopeox
A trolley.
Jason Manzoukas
I guess a trolley just went by. And the Doppler effects.
Bever Hopeox
That's right. The one neighborhood of Los Angeles Goodyear T Didn't get to. Right.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Here we are, the exit off the 405.
Bever Hopeox
Yep. We've been driving.
Jason Manzoukas
This is really quick.
Scott Aukerman
Time has now passed.
Bever Hopeox
It's a Volvo, you know, she rips.
Bisbee St. Hancock
There we are. Okay, get them out, but attach their mics to them.
Jason Manzoukas
Where we go?
Scott Aukerman
Where are you taking us?
Bever Hopeox
Can you take the 405 to the 406?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Here, chew on this. See if you can guess the flavor.
Bever Hopeox
Try.
Scott Aukerman
Got stick Limb.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, they got it.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, you got limb. Okay.
Bever Hopeox
Y.
Chico Hands
We got a lot left over. Didn't melt in the rain.
Jason Manzoukas
So this is. Do you mind if we take our bags off?
Bisbee St. Hancock
You can take them off now and gaze upon the stage.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow. Beautiful.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, this is a hole. Wait, what did you just say?
Scott Aukerman
I said it's beautiful.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, it's.
Jason Manzoukas
No, guys.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, it's beautiful compared to being in the studio.
Jason Manzoukas
I mean, to insult the. Our kidnappers.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Welcome to the show.
Scott Aukerman
Do I already have Stockholm syndrome? I said this all was beautiful. What the is wrong with me?
Jason Manzoukas
Wait, what did. What did Bisbee say?
Bisbee St. Hancock
What's your name?
Scott Aukerman
Huh?
Bisbee St. Hancock
What's your name? Huh?
Scott Aukerman
I don't. I don't.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, my God. That is the biggest horse I've ever.
Bever Hopeox
Oh. Oh, wow.
Scott Aukerman
There's a. There's a fight in progress happening right now.
Jason Manzoukas
I guess they said the fights never cease.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, God.
Jason Manzoukas
I thought the horses killed. Oh, no, that was a horse carrying a gun. Okay, now it's in the horse microwave.
Bever Hopeox
It just.
Scott Aukerman
It was like. It was like Brundle Fly. It was like in the fly when he turns the baboon inside out.
Jason Manzoukas
Now Bisbee's eating horse. That horse in the microwave pit's here.
Bever Hopeox
The microwave is for thawing out frozen horses. We're sorry about that, Bradley.
Chico Hands
Come on, get it together.
Jason Manzoukas
Wait, he works.
Bever Hopeox
You're right. Works here.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, he's part of the pit crew.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, this makes sense.
Chico Hands
Put that in the book.
Jason Manzoukas
No, no, Wy is here as well.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's me. No Wy.
Scott Aukerman
That is a flawless impression.
Bever Hopeox
Hey, give me.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Give me four look, Q tips and a napkin, stat.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, with his tom bin backpack. Come on, Noah.
Jason Manzoukas
Wy. So, wait, what did you Say earlier you said, welcome to the show.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
Are you. You guys have the A show or something?
Bever Hopeox
I'm Brian Cox.
Jason Manzoukas
Brian Cox is in this show. Amazing.
Scott Aukerman
I. I am such a fan.
Bever Hopeox
I appreciate it. So first, sit and watch this.
Jason Manzoukas
Say for us, please.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I love the way he threw it away.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, it's so good. So he's just doing the intro.
Scott Aukerman
It's. So how many shows a day are
Jason Manzoukas
you guys gonna do?
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's rolling. It never stops.
Jason Manzoukas
It just never stops. Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
So, Brian, people can come in and out. Why am I explaining this to you?
Bever Hopeox
It's dirty rounds. It's a little bit like row, row, row. Bonus.
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
But as a stage show at a family amusement. Animal fighting. Sweet treat farm. Right?
Jason Manzoukas
I guess since we're here, we may as well enjoy the show.
Scott Aukerman
This is exciting. I like that we're out of the studio and we're experiencing.
Jason Manzoukas
I know.
Scott Aukerman
Stuff that normally we only talk about, which sucks.
Jason Manzoukas
Exactly. Yeah. Just hearing people's stories about things now we're actually. What was that?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, there. There's the new fight.
Jason Manzoukas
New fight going.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, my God.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, my God.
Jason Manzoukas
This is brutal. Oh.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, my God.
Jason Manzoukas
This is like horse mma. Wow.
Chico Hands
And a loser. Get the gun.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Jason Manzoukas
I have to say, I always thought the horses were killing each other. Well, it doesn't have an employee shooting them.
Bever Hopeox
Hey, and who's shooting the horses? Hey, hey.
Scott Aukerman
They already killed one another.
Chico Hands
You don't gotta shoot them.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, my God.
Bever Hopeox
Put them in the freezer, not the microwave. Sorry about that, Bradley. Microwave is for thawing.
Scott Aukerman
He just exploded another horse in the microwave.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, you super troopers better write more speeding tickets.
Scott Aukerman
Wait a minute. It's Brian Cox from Super Troopers.
Bever Hopeox
I guess from everything I've done. Holy.
Jason Manzoukas
I had no idea. Brian
Scott Aukerman
from Manhunter?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Bever Hopeox
Whoa, here I come.
Jason Manzoukas
He's got a huge role.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, he's Al. He's also just doing absolutely brilliant free association. It's like he's doing a pattern game. And we're going to have to do a herald after this using only the stuff he's brought up.
Bisbee St. Hancock
What flavor is this one?
Jason Manzoukas
This is. This is Robert.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right, Gary.
Chico Hands
How did they get guessed them both? I don't know.
Bever Hopeox
Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
Very specific. I don't know. It just kind of came out of my mouth.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, and if you could at the end, just scan this QR code or call that number at the end of what?
Scott Aukerman
At the end of what you guys
Bever Hopeox
haven't done when you decide Brian Cox
Jason Manzoukas
is the only person who's doing this show.
Bever Hopeox
I want my union break.
Bisbee St. Hancock
There'll be a series of questions.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, look, feedback. Speaking of breaks, before the show starts, do you mind if we take a break? Is that okay?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Before it starts?
Bever Hopeox
You're the clock man. That's why I unplugged all the mics and your laptop to continue recording.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right.
Bever Hopeox
And keep track of the time period.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Do you want to hear our commercial one last time?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Let's go to break on.
Jason Manzoukas
Let's go to break on the commercial. Go ahead.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Do you like honey?
Bever Hopeox
Do you like horse fighting of the rarest and most masculine of forms?
Chico Hands
And do you like taffy? No kids with braces, please.
Bever Hopeox
The best horse fighting in all of California and Tampa. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. And if you're coming out of LA,
Bisbee St. Hancock
go north on the 405 till you get to the 406. Don't get off that way.
Chico Hands
Don't come if you don't like dead horses.
Bever Hopeox
Bye. Bye.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Month of October, 50% off all stick flavored T. Wow.
Jason Manzoukas
And we'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang after this. Refresh your space and make your home work better for you with Wayfair. From furniture and decor to organization solutions and outdoor essentials, Wayfair makes it easy to find pieces that fit your style and your needs. And you know what? Spring, which is right around the corner. Spring is the perfect time for a reason. And Wayfair has everything from outdoor furniture and patio decor to lighter bedding that's not so hot. And that immediately makes your home feel brighter. Plus, you can get a head start on spring cleaning with closet systems, storage solutions and garage organization. I could use some of that. All from Wayfair. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget, along with fast shipping and easy assembly options. I got a bunch of stuff from Wayfair, by the way. Is it Wayfair or Wayfair? They don't explain that on the website, but I got a bunch of stuff from there. And now that I read this garage solutions thing, I didn't even go to the garage solutions segment. I have some things that need to be solved in my garage, so I'm sure they have a bunch of great stuff there. And you can find furniture, decor and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.
Scott Aukerman
America's best network just got bigger switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price gap guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.
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Chico Hands
There's nothing like your first Mac.
Jason Manzoukas
Here's what people online are sharing. Rhain says everything is just so smooth and fast.
Chico Hands
I still can't get over syncing stuff between my phone and this is just chef's kiss. Rincredible488 says Apple Silicon basically cures low battery trauma. That's how they felt with their first Mac.
Jason Manzoukas
How will you introducing the all new MacBook Neo, an amazing Mac at a surprising price.
Chico Hands
Find out more on apple.com Mac
Jason Manzoukas
comedy bang bang. We're back. Jason Manzoukas and I have been taken captive by the Calvins. Triplets.
Scott Aukerman
We are are currently exposed.
Jason Manzoukas
Naked.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, we were taken to the ranch. We've watched, I'm gonna say half dozen horses. More. More horses.
Jason Manzoukas
So many horses have died in the
Scott Aukerman
last period of this podcast than in all of Luck season one.
Jason Manzoukas
And meanwhile there are. It's like a sports bar with all of the television sets everywhere showing episodes of Walking Dead.
Scott Aukerman
You know what I wasn't prepared for? I wasn't prepared for how many horses would be here watching the fight.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, yeah, the horses are the main spectators.
Chico Hands
Don't shoot.
Bever Hopeox
Don't shoot. Damn.
Chico Hands
What did I say?
Jason Manzoukas
I guess I expected more human beings watching everything but this.
Scott Aukerman
Oh no, they just put a horse.
Bever Hopeox
Come on.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, I think the show's starting. Jason. We go this show. Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Welcome from all over the country. And where are you from, young sir?
Scott Aukerman
I've got to say, I don't think having Bisbee host was a good idea.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Where are you from, young sir?
Scott Aukerman
Where are you the most beta? Anyway, I'm from la, Los Angeles.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh, interesting. Hey, he's just down to Hollywood.
Bever Hopeox
He went. Went down to Hollywood.
Bisbee St. Hancock
So what do you do for a living?
Jason Manzoukas
Abandoned that song immediately. So this.
Bisbee St. Hancock
What do we do for a job?
Jason Manzoukas
This introduces the show and then you
Scott Aukerman
do crowd work like Matt Rife style crowd work. What is this?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I wish.
Scott Aukerman
Listen.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And what do you have for a job?
Scott Aukerman
I'm a podcaster.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Podcaster. Speak into the microphone. Speak into the microphone. In the microphone. I'm raising my hand over in the corner, sir.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, this sucks.
Bever Hopeox
Sit back down.
Jason Manzoukas
Save Mr. Fox.
Bever Hopeox
It's a work in progress. We'll do a talk back after.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, okay, okay. I just.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's. Everybody do your best impression time. Horse impression, that is. Here's Cinnamon. Here's Wally. Brian Cox. Ladies.
Scott Aukerman
Ladies and gentlemen. Wait a minute.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Wait a minute.
Scott Aukerman
I have a question.
Bever Hopeox
How is the winter of audition?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow. Actually, this is lovely.
Jason Manzoukas
This is glassing it up a little.
Chico Hands
And that's the intermission. Feel free to make your way to the concession stands. Fill up on Taffy.
Bever Hopeox
Fill up on the.
Jason Manzoukas
The bulk of the. Of the first act seemed to consist of maybe a minute and a half. Is it a lopsided show?
Scott Aukerman
A bunch of. It was hors impressions for horses I've never met.
Bever Hopeox
Okay. Now that.
Jason Manzoukas
I don't know Fighting has gone back,
Scott Aukerman
I don't know what Cinnamon sounds like. Oh, man, the horses are. Oh, God. I wasn't prepared for how much the bees.
Chico Hands
Do not pick up that gun. Do not pick up.
Jason Manzoukas
The horse is dead. It's dead.
Chico Hands
Put the gun down. It's already dead.
Bever Hopeox
Don't do it.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Don't do it.
Chico Hands
Shoot it into the ground if you gotta shoot. Shoot it into the ground if you gotta shoot.
Scott Aukerman
Scott, hands off your belt.
Jason Manzoukas
Blowing into the or.
Chico Hands
Just put it down. You don't have to do it. What are you doing? Why down into the ground. Don't do it. The horse is dead.
Bever Hopeox
Don't blow on the gun.
Chico Hands
Don't blow on the gun. Don't do it.
Jason Manzoukas
He's tilting towards the ground, but it's
Bever Hopeox
pointed at the horse.
Chico Hands
Stupid to do this. Don't pull the trigger. Come on, come on.
Bisbee St. Hancock
This is the part of the show where the audience decides what's going to happen. We didn't decide.
Bever Hopeox
We didn't decide.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, God. At least it's not. At least they didn't put it in the. Oh, no.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, it's going in the microwave.
Scott Aukerman
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Bever Hopeox
Freezer.
Jason Manzoukas
Mr. Pit, you got to stop this.
Bever Hopeox
Shut up. Burn up. Hello, this is King George the Third.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow.
Bever Hopeox
Please silence your cell phones and welcome to my show.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, Whoa.
Jason Manzoukas
O. Act two, starting with Ryan Cox doing his own one man show, I guess. Is that what. Is that what he's saying?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'd like to take out this book.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, my goodness, Mr. Grant, I'm your
Scott Aukerman
biggest back in the library.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, hey.
Bever Hopeox
Do you think I can get your autographs?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'll give you my autograph in the
Bever Hopeox
shape of a Gunshot. You've got a garden.
Scott Aukerman
It is a real gun.
Bever Hopeox
Pull up your skirt, you little slut. Please, Mr. Grant, not like this.
Jason Manzoukas
Implying he wants it.
Chico Hands
I used to be your biggest fan, but not anymore. You're a violent, awful, hateful man.
Jason Manzoukas
Ellen Green in the flesh from Little Shop of Horrors. And me and him.
Bever Hopeox
Every time.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Ellen Green. Every time. You ruin it.
Chico Hands
Put away the gun and pull out your library card or you're not welcome.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You want me to pull out my library card or you want me to pull out my library card?
Bever Hopeox
Are those the only two options?
Jason Manzoukas
Maybe. Maybe also pull out your library card.
Bever Hopeox
Please silence yourself.
Jason Manzoukas
Sorry.
Bever Hopeox
Sorry. Have him removed.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Please take me back to the studio.
Bever Hopeox
Excuse me, sir, can you come with us?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh, no, guys, you don't have to take him.
Scott Aukerman
You don't have to take him away. We're part of the show. Yeah, we were with the guys.
Chico Hands
Yeah, no, we understand if anybody makes
Bisbee St. Hancock
a noise back here.
Scott Aukerman
No, no, we were. Sorry. We came with the guys. Your tickets. No, we don't have tickets.
Jason Manzoukas
Kidnapped us. Does this.
Scott Aukerman
We were doing a podcast serve as a ticket.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Tickets. We have to have you leave.
Chico Hands
No.
Jason Manzoukas
I mean, no. You see, we would love to leave.
Scott Aukerman
We don't have to come back to
Chico Hands
the show, but you have to watch a video.
Scott Aukerman
Wait a minute.
Bisbee St. Hancock
What?
Chico Hands
That will tell you how to properly
Jason Manzoukas
behave when you're at. Let's see the video.
Chico Hands
We'll take you into the room.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Great.
Bever Hopeox
Hello, I'm Christoph Waltz, and welcome to how to Be a Good Theater Attendee.
Jason Manzoukas
These guys have a lot of.
Scott Aukerman
They have.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And I'm Carrie Grant.
Jason Manzoukas
Cary Grant.
Scott Aukerman
Archie Leach himself.
Bisbee St. Hancock
A lot of people go to a comedy show and think that it's okay to be loud.
Bever Hopeox
That couldn't be farther from the truth. Here to show us how to be a good audience member, it's me, Nev Campbell.
Jason Manzoukas
Nev Campbell from the franchise Party of what, five?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Look at her face.
Bever Hopeox
To be a good audience member. What?
Jason Manzoukas
Sounds just like her.
Bisbee St. Hancock
What yeah.
Chico Hands
Have to do is sit quietly.
Bever Hopeox
Now, many of you are wondering what the word quietly means. It harkens back to ancient Greece.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, Whoa.
Bever Hopeox
When the first theater attendees would sit not only without making any noise, but would also cross their knees, hold in any bodily functions from there.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Bisbee St. Hancock
We hope that watching this video will help.
Jason Manzoukas
That's it.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, it's already at the end.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And behave yourself.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, well, we watched the video. Do you think.
Chico Hands
You guys think you understand? You think you can.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Be quiet and cross our knees.
Bever Hopeox
Every kidnapping gets one warning this was yours.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, wow.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so how many people that are here are here as spectators because they were kidnapped and brought here? Oh, okay. Because I can't help but also notice that there are a lot of other people with microphones.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Go on podcast podcasts, abduct them and bring them up here.
Bever Hopeox
That's because Mr. Hopex is a tinkerer of sorts.
Jason Manzoukas
Is everyone here a kidnap podcaster? Like, I see the host of Cereal over there and I see Bruce Springsteen over there and. And Obama. Hey, how come you're not taking him out?
Bever Hopeox
What's going f be stinging their hooves. Wait a minute.
Jason Manzoukas
Calvin's triple shit.
Bever Hopeox
The boss cast like Muhammad Ali. They kind of funny, but don't laugh at joke books.
Jason Manzoukas
Calvin stripless. Did you just go on a bunch of podcasts this week and kidnap all of the hosts?
Chico Hands
Maybe. Who's to say we did or didn't?
Jason Manzoukas
Lock the gate.
Bever Hopeox
He's back.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Damn it.
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Marin. Mar.
Bever Hopeox
No, that was m Marin. Oh, okay.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, they're very similar. Okay, we'll be quiet.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Quiet.
Jason Manzoukas
Just.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, we wanna, we do wanna watch the rest of the show. Let us be clear. We don't want to be disruptive, but we were brought here against our will.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. So.
Scott Aukerman
And do I do fear that I am, you know, susceptible to Stockholm syndrome and may never leave here, but I
Jason Manzoukas
also don't want to be just kicked out of, I don't know, our way back? We don't have a way at home.
Scott Aukerman
I think we have to figure that out. I know it feels like an escape room scenario.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Reverse escape room caps.
Chico Hands
Yeah, we left them there. They're going to have to find their own way out.
Bever Hopeox
That's right. We're back in Scott's house.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Look at this place.
Bever Hopeox
This way. It's crazy stack. What's all the stack of floppies here? Let's leaf through floppies for hospice. He he intend to give every one of these single issues of Neil Gaiman's Work of art.
Jason Manzoukas
Bunch of maybe not those.
Bisbee St. Hancock
No.
Bever Hopeox
Sorry.
Jason Manzoukas
I Sorry, Bever I. This is Scott.au I
Bever Hopeox
under the table.
Jason Manzoukas
I I, I I I ran back all the way home.
Scott Aukerman
Wait, you got all the way back?
Jason Manzoukas
I got all the way back.
Scott Aukerman
I didn't know if you were on a ring cam kind of situation.
Jason Manzoukas
I was. That's what I intended. But it appears that I'm back.
Scott Aukerman
It does appear that you're back. And I guess so am I.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, you I carry piggyback style.
Scott Aukerman
We hitchhiked after a while and we made it.
Jason Manzoukas
And we're Finally. Finally back. And, guys, I. We really don't appreciate you taking advantage of our good graces here to kidnap us along with all of these other podcasters.
Bever Hopeox
We're sorry. You know what?
Scott Aukerman
You know what? I can't stay mad at them. You know, they give us those big puppy horse eyes, and I just get
Bisbee St. Hancock
all like, oh, wow, can we have a kiss?
Scott Aukerman
Wait a minute.
Jason Manzoukas
Are you talking to each other or.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, everybody.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah, a little smooch.
Jason Manzoukas
Five way smooch.
Chico Hands
Everybody all in.
Bever Hopeox
Why don't you thumb them belt loops and lean in for a little pucker?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I guess.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, why not?
Bever Hopeox
All right.
Chico Hands
Wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Now, don't that just make everything better?
Jason Manzoukas
It tastes like. Like autumn leaves.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's it.
Bever Hopeox
Scott, I have to say, haven't had you at our home makes me grateful and appreciative for how many times you have had us over to your domicile.
Jason Manzoukas
It's. It's my pleasure. But I have to say, you kidnapped us. You took us out to see the show that you were hyping up, and at intermission, you guys left and came back to my house. We never got to see the second act of the show. It's.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, I will say that. And just as a way to kind of hype up the show for people who might be listening is it starts strong.
Jason Manzoukas
It starts very strong. Cox comes out.
Scott Aukerman
I had no idea, Brad.
Jason Manzoukas
And everyone's like, whoa.
Scott Aukerman
A list stars are there now. And we were only there for the first half and saw, I'm gonna say, at least five to seven horse deaths.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
But within the space of 90 seconds. During which Bisby did crowd work.
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
Which wasn't even.
Scott Aukerman
It was bad. It was Matt Rice. It was bad. Like, just bad crowd work on some jokes. Work on some actual jokes. Maybe from the joke book.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, if you don't have jokes, you do crowd working.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right. So what.
Scott Aukerman
What is. And you're saying you're relocating, Getting to Austin.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, the mothership.
Scott Aukerman
The mothership calls.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'm gonna try out. I'll try out, and if I get it, I'll get it. If I don't.
Jason Manzoukas
Do they have auditions there?
Bisbee St. Hancock
An hour and a half from Tampa. Right.
Scott Aukerman
And are you guys still at the horse ranch doing that show, Kill Horsey?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Great.
Scott Aukerman
That's cool.
Bever Hopeox
Great.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Like that.
Jason Manzoukas
So what. What does happen in the second act? My interest is piqued. I would love. I mean, you know, I'm not saying necessarily I want to be kidnapped again to. To see the second act.
Bever Hopeox
But, well, Chico is the director of the show.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, cool.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
It's true.
Jason Manzoukas
Is that why you're wearing those. These jodhpurs and riding crop?
Chico Hands
Well, it's a horse ranch.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, that's.
Chico Hands
We're always wearing Josh.
Jason Manzoukas
No, all three of you are. Yeah, I just noticed that.
Bever Hopeox
What.
Jason Manzoukas
What's your vision?
Chico Hands
Well, as we said, up top, it's an immersive experience.
Jason Manzoukas
You didn't say that, though.
Scott Aukerman
I believe I.
Jason Manzoukas
You said that when we were conferring.
Scott Aukerman
I believe that was our pun.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You know how, like, the first half. First half of Barbarian is like one movie.
Jason Manzoukas
Uhhuh.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And then the second half, it just goes ape crazy.
Jason Manzoukas
Sure.
Scott Aukerman
When. When Conan gets the sword, right?
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right. What did you think?
Scott Aukerman
Conan the Barbarian.
Bever Hopeox
If I had legs, I'd kick you
Bisbee St. Hancock
when he finally gets that sword.
Scott Aukerman
James Earl Jones.
Jason Manzoukas
Is that.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, of course.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah. Well, our. Our show's kind of like that.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
We really take the power back in the. In the second half.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, from whom?
Bever Hopeox
From.
Bisbee St. Hancock
From everybody who's taken it from us over the years.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh.
Scott Aukerman
So the second half is kind of
Jason Manzoukas
like a revenge, like a rising of the phoenix from the ashes.
Scott Aukerman
Like a John Wick.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right. Which. Like a rising of the phoenix which we hope to rise this year. Back to our glory days.
Scott Aukerman
What were your glory days? Days? When.
Jason Manzoukas
When did you steal that from Bruce Springsteen? When he was kidnapped there.
Scott Aukerman
When he was up there doing the Boss.
Bever Hopeox
I remember Bism came into the house and
Scott Aukerman
I think this is a flashback.
Chico Hands
Hey, he's stroking.
Jason Manzoukas
No, it's just a stroking.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
It's not.
Bever Hopeox
Put a stick candy in his mouth.
Jason Manzoukas
What. What were you saying?
Bever Hopeox
You remember what he walked in and he said? I. I was thinking back to the glory days.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I was thinking back to the glory
Bever Hopeox
days when I looked in the wink of a young girl's eye. Okay, Glory days.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Glory days.
Jason Manzoukas
Sounding very familiar.
Chico Hands
They'll pass you by.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Sure. That's right. Glory days.
Jason Manzoukas
It's the one part that you seem to remember.
Bever Hopeox
And then he had his first seizure.
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
Bever Hopeox
That's when they started. Oh, really?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah. I haven't. Every time we perform the second half fight, I have had a little bit of a seizure.
Bever Hopeox
We can't understand it because everybody. Every other cast members, solid on their feet all the dance. Brian Cox is fine. Bradley Pit is fine. The dancers. Nev Campbell, the flashing strobe lights. Don't you know that might be it?
Jason Manzoukas
Epilepsy.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Bever Hopeox
The dancers.
Jason Manzoukas
No, not. No, not the. Did you say flashing dancers? That I would like to see. Yeah, my belt loops are the flashing.
Bever Hopeox
Please hold.
Scott Aukerman
Kidnap me back. I didn't see any flashing dancers, but
Jason Manzoukas
if you said flashing lights. Bisbee, I think you might be an epileptic.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
You might suffer from the affliction known as epilepsy.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Any kind of strobe light or anything like that. Do you have any problems like that?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I don't think so.
Jason Manzoukas
Let me flash this flashlight in your eyes rapidly. Oh, no. He's having another seizure. Yeah. Okay. Yes.
Bever Hopeox
Don't, Don't.
Jason Manzoukas
Don't have this seizure.
Scott Aukerman
Don't.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, that feels better. That worked. That worked.
Jason Manzoukas
Do you think you're cured?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I mean, I. Try it again.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Let's see.
Bever Hopeox
We could ask Robert Smith. He's in the second act of our show.
Scott Aukerman
Robert Smith from the Cure? Yes, it's me, Robert Smith.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And am I cured?
Chico Hands
You're cured. Officially.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, I guess that is.
Chico Hands
Wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I wasn't expecting that here today.
Jason Manzoukas
That's incredible. Robert Smith. I'm such a huge fan.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, massive fan.
Jason Manzoukas
Bye. Bye.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, bye.
Jason Manzoukas
We're stealing Louis Armstrong's catchphrase.
Scott Aukerman
How cool.
Bisbee St. Hancock
He looked great.
Scott Aukerman
He looked great. His hair is. It's still an unkempt mop.
Bever Hopeox
Upon him to the heavens.
Scott Aukerman
I love it. Yeah, I love it.
Jason Manzoukas
So, Bisbee, do you think you could do the second act now?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh, it's a group number.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Well, I mean, Jason and I, even though we don't want to be kidnapped
Scott Aukerman
again, we will help in any.
Jason Manzoukas
We will. We are here.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Starts out a bit.
Bever Hopeox
A little bit. Seem that love is imitating art, which is imitating the art of the last. Where we kidnapped you in the middle.
Bisbee St. Hancock
That's right.
Bever Hopeox
In the first place.
Jason Manzoukas
I guess so.
Chico Hands
Can we hit him with the logs again?
Jason Manzoukas
I really wish you.
Bever Hopeox
Ow. Ow.
Jason Manzoukas
I.
Chico Hands
Here we go.
Jason Manzoukas
Get out on the road. Could we just do it in the studio?
Bisbee St. Hancock
The 405 getting off on the 406.
Bever Hopeox
Here we are.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Sit down.
Bever Hopeox
You know how long this is going to take? Probably a Noah Wy. Put it in the book. Put it down.
Chico Hands
Write it down, God damn it.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'm writing it down.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Chico Hands
All right.
Jason Manzoukas
Can we take our. Our hoods off?
Chico Hands
Take them off.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Take them off. And get ready for the best thing you've ever seen in your life.
Chico Hands
And here it is. It's starting up the second act of the show.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow. Okay.
Chico Hands
Hi, everyone. I'm Scott Aerman, and I'm here with my good friend, Mr. Jason Man Zukas.
Scott Aukerman
This is weird.
Jason Manzoukas
This is so weird. That's exact. That's me.
Bisbee St. Hancock
This is Jason Manzuka.
Jason Manzoukas
And that sounds exactly like.
Scott Aukerman
Sounds like my very identifiable voice.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Been on Broadway way. Who cares? It's not a big deal.
Scott Aukerman
He brags like me too.
Jason Manzoukas
Did we act on this show and we don't remember it?
Scott Aukerman
It's very good. It's very compelling.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Hey, I like I can listen and talk at the same time. That's the way people do it.
Chico Hands
Don't talk over me.
Bever Hopeox
Don't talk over me.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Get out of here.
Chico Hands
I'm not gonna.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Who's our guest today?
Chico Hands
We have a very special guest lined up and he's sitting right over there. He needs no introduction because he's gonna introduce himself.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's PA Tompkins.
Scott Aukerman
Wait, how come he didn't introduce himself?
Bever Hopeox
This is. Bye. Oh, he left. He left.
Jason Manzoukas
That was either Paul or the Joker. I can't.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And now's the time in the show where we have to say goodbye.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I see.
Jason Manzoukas
Can I just say that I feel like I haven't gotten my money's worth in any of this.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And then.
Chico Hands
Oh, wait. Wait a minute, Jason. Hold on a second. Someone from the audience is interrupting. Is that. Is that one of the Calvin's triplets out there?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Wait a minute.
Jason Manzoukas
Wah.
Bever Hopeox
I'm one of the wee Calvins. Bree Dalvins. Conflvins, Balvins and Malvins over here. Well, ha.
Scott Aukerman
I'm here too. Too.
Chico Hands
It's me.
Scott Aukerman
Another Calvins.
Jason Manzoukas
And then I'm also here. The B. Sean Connery.
Bever Hopeox
Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
Money, Penny, get me my James Bond style gun, if you don't mind.
Scott Aukerman
No, that's not how you sound. You sound it. You can't. It's not what I'm talking about.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'm the other one now.
Bever Hopeox
And sometimes the only way to get through to the woman is with the back of your hand. You're the dog now. So by way the up. The last one. Hey, that's the Chicago way down. This is the beginning.
Chico Hands
Put it down.
Bever Hopeox
That's from the event. Brad Pitt is the marvel one. Hey, we've got horses of courses, of courses, of courses. If you want to see some horses, they're going to fight and they're going to sing and then you're going to hear a ring ding ding.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Go down to the shore and buy like little taffy. Get a little wacky. Do a little thing. You're gonna try to sing but you only say laffy Taffy comes out your mouth.
Chico Hands
Boro boro, soro boro. Snake eating his tail.
Bever Hopeox
Snake eating his tail.
Chico Hands
It's a new flavor of taffy. And it's a way of imagining the show.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And Cinnamon sleeps in the middle of the night. Cinnamon comes off too nice and tight.
Bever Hopeox
She's a Todd coma. That's all. Cinnamon a top. Come on. She's gonna win. Hey.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Saying goodbye is always hard. Saying goodbye is not my favorite card. I pull from the deck during the magic trick. Hey, what's the matter with you? You coughing? You sick?
Bever Hopeox
I am a sickly little lady. I need a floppy, floppy thingy.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Good.
Bever Hopeox
Scott. Give me a single issue of Batman's Wow.
Scott Aukerman
This is like Gilbert and Sullivan.
Jason Manzoukas
This is incredible.
Scott Aukerman
Topsy turvy.
Bever Hopeox
I am a little tinkerer. I go into my old and then I like to take it and I'll do a little welded button. Then I'll take it and I put it to the other one. And then I can record sound anywhere. And it is really fun.
Bisbee St. Hancock
So grab your suitcase, grab your taffy Grab your pamphlet grab your laugh he won't be as happy in the morning he won't be as happy when he's
Bever Hopeox
scorning He's a towel for losers Put it in a win. Got in on the Brian. Oh, my God.
Jason Manzoukas
And now Obama's getting in on this. Just on instruments.
Scott Aukerman
Just. Picked up a guitar that slide guitars.
Jason Manzoukas
This is incredible.
Bever Hopeox
Wow.
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
And I bet we'll be together for a million years and we'll be together for a million more so, so gentle
Bever Hopeox
with you Take my hand Then I finally understand. That the honey is the sweetest parts of the ranch the honey is the sweetest part of the ranch but don't
Chico Hands
forget about the taffy Taffy bink Bink and the bees.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, yeah. Wow.
Scott Aukerman
Wow. The second half of the show was incredible.
Jason Manzoukas
I had low expectation. Jason is standing up.
Scott Aukerman
Standing.
Jason Manzoukas
I'm not going to go that far because my standing ankles are chained together and I'm. I re. Was receiving.
Bever Hopeox
Lowering your belt loops.
Jason Manzoukas
That's right.
Scott Aukerman
That was.
Jason Manzoukas
I had low expectations. I did, too. Surpassed the low expectations.
Scott Aukerman
What was incredible was it was so smart to set the expectations low by having the first half be mostly horse deaths.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
And. And bad crowd work. Crowd work, horse deaths and horse implosions in the microwave. The second half had none of that.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Scott Aukerman
It's still going.
Jason Manzoukas
His horse deaths are still continuing. I guess they took a break from the show.
Scott Aukerman
Is this the encore winner?
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Jason Manzoukas
They're not going to pick up.
Chico Hands
Don't do it.
Jason Manzoukas
Don't do it.
Bever Hopeox
Come on, man.
Chico Hands
Don't.
Bever Hopeox
Put it down.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Do it.
Jason Manzoukas
Put it down. He's assembling the rifle.
Bever Hopeox
Grab the gun him out of his. Come on.
Scott Aukerman
He's got a. He's got a scope on a shotgun.
Bever Hopeox
It's a straight in the. Oh, my God. Damn it.
Chico Hands
You know it's wrong. You know you're doing it wrong.
Jason Manzoukas
Back in the microwave.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, no, not the microwave. Oh, no.
Jason Manzoukas
If only they said it for slightly less time.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Brian Cox, everybody.
Jason Manzoukas
Everyone's taking their bows.
Bever Hopeox
We've had laughs, we've had tears.
Jason Manzoukas
We are drinking.
Bever Hopeox
A lot of fears. But we're still just laughing.
Chico Hands
We're still.
Bisbee St. Hancock
If you enjoyed what you saw on stage. We have classes all week long.
Bever Hopeox
We have dances, we had lights till we realized that was the source of the seizures. We just got dancing.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You can do it too.
Bever Hopeox
You bought the family. You brought the treats. We brought that seasoning. We brought this heat. Now we're gon say goodbye.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Christmas is right around the corner. So gift cards.
Bever Hopeox
No matter what you do and no matter what you go through, when life kicks you like a shoe, you gotta laugh.
Jason Manzoukas
I forgot you guys say you gotta laugh.
Scott Aukerman
Wow. Just.
Jason Manzoukas
This is great.
Scott Aukerman
A tour de force performance.
Bever Hopeox
Well, I suppose it's time to take you lovely boys back home.
Scott Aukerman
Thank you so much.
Bever Hopeox
I would appreciate it.
Jason Manzoukas
I, I, you know that when I said it wasn't worth the my money, you know, at the beginning of this, I, I, I mean, you guys is really brought.
Scott Aukerman
That is now, we started this show talking about my time on Broadway. This show should be Broadway.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
This is a, this was a masterpiece, you know, and that is even if you don't have access to Brian Cox.
Jason Manzoukas
Sure. Even if it's recast.
Scott Aukerman
Even if you recast.
Jason Manzoukas
But I bet they would do it.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah, sure. You just gotta get, get through the hoops of Ju Jamison's rental fees. Am I, am I right? Am I right? Jude Jameson, one of the biggest owners of Broadway.
Jason Manzoukas
Of course, of course he knows.
Scott Aukerman
Of course I know that.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, of course. Of course.
Bever Hopeox
Lamb of the Sho. And we both know you don't want to be dealing with the sho.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I'd rather be dealing with them Nerlanders.
Bever Hopeox
No, no, no. Take your hands away from your belt loop. Sorry.
Jason Manzoukas
Sorry. That's. That's a family name.
Bever Hopeox
Okay, got it.
Jason Manzoukas
Got it. Well, so are you gonna take us back?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Back in the.
Jason Manzoukas
Everybody back in the.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
All right.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, no.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, no.
Jason Manzoukas
Did you not fill up your tank, chico?
Bisbee St. Hancock
I told you to get gas.
Chico Hands
What is that? Prices are too high because of all
Jason Manzoukas
the stuff going on. And Hormu, more horses are fighting Each other.
Scott Aukerman
Whoa.
Bever Hopeox
That horse took out a sword and a katana. Oh, my gosh.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, my God. This is. Is this a sort of horse? Kumate.
Chico Hands
Oh, wow.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow. The crowd is going crazy.
Jason Manzoukas
All the other horses are. Oh, the. The shotgun guy is crying.
Bever Hopeox
Can't do it. Oh, no.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, no one wants you to.
Bever Hopeox
Can't we just put them in the freezer?
Chico Hands
That's what I said. Freezer. Put it in the freezer. It's already dead.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Bever.
Bever Hopeox
Bradley. Uppity.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Do it.
Bever Hopeox
16th man alive. And push me around. Tell me what to do.
Chico Hands
Don't point that gun at me, all right?
Bever Hopeox
Wasn't me that got drunk on a private plane with my kids.
Chico Hands
Quit muttering. Huh?
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, he opened the freezer.
Bisbee St. Hancock
No.
Jason Manzoukas
God, there's blood everywhere in the freezer
Chico Hands
now is what drives me to drink on a plane.
Jason Manzoukas
Freezer's contaminated.
Bever Hopeox
We got the car.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Work.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. All right. Well, we're traveling back to the studio now.
Chico Hands
And we're back.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, guys.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Oh.
Bever Hopeox
So. Yeah, well, Bella's Y UPS joke book.
Jason Manzoukas
I'm more interested in the show.
Scott Aukerman
And it's available at. Only at Barnes. It's only at Barnes and Noble.
Bever Hopeox
One. Bonds and Noble. Yes.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Barn and Noble.
Bever Hopeox
Bon. One and Noble.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay. Well, guys, I. I hate that you had to hit us in the back of the head with logs so many times just for us to watch that I would have went willingly, but.
Bever Hopeox
We don't know right from wrong.
Jason Manzoukas
I understand.
Bever Hopeox
We're responsible for the most amount of hor deaths in history,
Jason Manzoukas
but, guys, we are unfortunately running out of time here on the show. In fact, we only have time for one final feature on the show, and
Bever Hopeox
that is three of our shows. Oh, there's an Act 3.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's quick.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, let's see it.
Bever Hopeox
Welcome to the library, Mr. Grant.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'd like to take out this Hardy
Bever Hopeox
Boys boy with a gun in your hand.
Jason Manzoukas
What?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Pull down your skirt, you little slut.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, no, not like this. Don't look at my butt.
Chico Hands
Hey, hold it right there, man.
Bever Hopeox
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Chico Hands
That's right. It's Bill Nye the Science Guy every time. You're ruining the gun down.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'll put the gun down this time, but.
Bever Hopeox
Hey, you little slut. I'll be back.
Chico Hands
And it's not cool to call a little girl a slut. You hear me? You dig? Yeah, I hear you, Bill Nye.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Okay. Hey, Science Guy.
Bever Hopeox
Oh, yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, well, remember. Remember everything that we were saying about it being a masterpiece?
Bisbee St. Hancock
We wanted to leave it on a high note.
Jason Manzoukas
No you had it on a high note.
Bever Hopeox
You can always edit.
Scott Aukerman
It's hard. Yeah, it's hard because the first act and the third act rule of threes does dictate that we did have to go back to the library and do that scene again.
Bever Hopeox
But.
Scott Aukerman
But diminishing the tur.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Gilding the lily.
Bever Hopeox
Just.
Scott Aukerman
Just.
Jason Manzoukas
Wow.
Bever Hopeox
Get your hand off whose belt. Stop gilding your lily.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Well, guys, we are running out of time on the show. We only have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.
Scott Aukerman
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. Give me a beef, give me a beef Beef me off a piece of
Jason Manzoukas
that plug back, Scott. Give me a beat.
Scott Aukerman
Give me me a beef Beef me off a piece of that plug back, Scott.
Bever Hopeox
Ground beefing.
Jason Manzoukas
Ground beefing episode. All right, that was Give me a Beef by Sean Fogel.
Scott Aukerman
Loved it.
Jason Manzoukas
By the way, that. That did remind me that some of your song in Act 2 sounded a little like the. I believe the Family Ties theme was.
Bever Hopeox
I'm not so Too.
Jason Manzoukas
I almost. I thought maybe lawyers were gonna come in and shut everything down.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Yeah, we had to change it halfway through.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. But, guys, what are we plugging here? Jason Manzukas, what do you want to plug? Oh, well, you obviously can't announce something big on the horizon.
Scott Aukerman
No, but I'll. I'll mention, like you said, Taskmaster season or series 19. Available now on YouTube. The how did this get made? Podcast. And then shows that I love but have nothing to do with are Dark Wins season four on AMC and Shorzy season five on Hulu. Two incredible shows that need more people watching them. So I'm shouting them out.
Jason Manzoukas
Because you want to watch them more.
Scott Aukerman
Because I want to watch them.
Jason Manzoukas
You're only. You're but one man, and I am
Scott Aukerman
but one man with multiple logins.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, that's right. And let's see. Chico Hands. What do you want to plug?
Chico Hands
Well, I did want to make a brief mention of our new line of top shelf taffy liqueurs.
Scott Aukerman
Okay. All celebrities are doing, like, a. A beverage of something.
Jason Manzoukas
Wait, but is this beverage. So it's liqueur that tastes like taffy, not the reverse?
Chico Hands
That's right.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, great.
Chico Hands
But also, I was making the pun that it's a bever like beverage.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, got it. A beverage.
Bever Hopeox
And is that first night.
Jason Manzoukas
Is that pun on the label? So it's like bever hyphen ed.
Chico Hands
It's written right on down there. Of course.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Chico Hands
These are the only taffy based liqueurs known in the entire northern hemisphere or the southern hemisphere.
Scott Aukerman
Wow, you've got both. You've got all hemispheres covered.
Chico Hands
We're covered as far as hemispheres and
Jason Manzoukas
it's a four quadrant above and below the prime meridian.
Chico Hands
That's right. We'll make sure to send you a few bottles gratis. Okay, try them out.
Jason Manzoukas
I would love that if it would cure a headache. I mean, you hit me with the log. Really?
Bever Hopeox
Really?
Chico Hands
Yeah, it's good for that for sure.
Scott Aukerman
And it's all the, all the flavors of the liqueur are from your taffies.
Chico Hands
That's right, yes.
Jason Manzoukas
So what, what, what are we talking? Like, what's it taste like? You know how, you know certain liqueurs taste like licorice or what does yours taste like?
Bever Hopeox
Yeah, we got one of those.
Chico Hands
We got one that tastes like branch. We got one that tastes like shirts.
Jason Manzoukas
When you said branch, do you mean Branchelina?
Bever Hopeox
Oh boy.
Scott Aukerman
We should, yeah, we should have wrapped up earlier.
Jason Manzoukas
Branches Ranch, Jelena.
Scott Aukerman
Oh no,
Jason Manzoukas
because he works there obviously.
Scott Aukerman
At Jelena the restaurant?
Jason Manzoukas
Yes, he works at Jelina.
Chico Hands
And we're working on Black Alo and
Jason Manzoukas
Robert D. No, that was Kate Manini.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, it was Kate Manini.
Jason Manzoukas
Yes. And Bisby Saint. Yeah, Hancock.
Bever Hopeox
What do you want my name?
Jason Manzoukas
Yep.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'd like to plug the Gillette Mock 3 Razor. The closest shave you can find on the market. Gillette. Are there, man can get, are there
Jason Manzoukas
off market razors that, that can shave you closer like, you know.
Bisbee St. Hancock
No.
Jason Manzoukas
So just this is the best you can get on the market?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Can get.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Bisbee St. Hancock
From Gillette, the Mach 3 Gillette razor.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay, sure.
Bisbee St. Hancock
You're gonna pay more? More?
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
How much more?
Bisbee St. Hancock
At least 60% more.
Jason Manzoukas
Why are, why, why are you so invested in this, this race?
Bisbee St. Hancock
Well, I don't want to. It comes out Monday, but we may have a sponsorship at the, the farm.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh really?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow.
Bisbee St. Hancock
I'm not saying anything, but what, what,
Scott Aukerman
what use do you have for razors?
Jason Manzoukas
Are you outfitting the horses with these razors in their hooves?
Bisbee St. Hancock
What do horses have on their face? What gets in the way of fighting at times? Am I right or am I wrong?
Bever Hopeox
Beards.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Beards.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, horse beards.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so you, you need the horse's chins to be more exposed.
Bisbee St. Hancock
Do the math.
Scott Aukerman
Okay, you do it for me.
Bever Hopeox
Let's do it together. Okay. You do the numerator. You do the denominator.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, this is that num.
Chico Hands
I'll write it down on the chalkboard.
Bever Hopeox
You do the abacus.
Chico Hands
I'll get the ab.
Bever Hopeox
Sorry. Sorry. As before, I say take the chalk out.
Bisbee St. Hancock
It's a money back guarantee too. Gillette Mach 3.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
We'll give you your money back
Bisbee St. Hancock
whether you like it or you don't.
Jason Manzoukas
Well, great. I mean, yeah, I'll definitely try it out.
Bever Hopeox
All right.
Jason Manzoukas
And then Bisby.
Bever Hopeox
No, sorry.
Scott Aukerman
Bever.
Jason Manzoukas
Bever. Hox.
Bever Hopeox
Me and my brother's been playing a lot of Taco cat goat cheese pizza. So check that out. Watching a lot of. I. I have been watching. Apparently they make cartoons for adults now.
Jason Manzoukas
I had no idea.
Bever Hopeox
And there was a channel particularly. Adult Swim is doing some of the finest work that I have seen. Gendy Tartakovsky's Prime.
Scott Aukerman
Primal.
Bever Hopeox
Primal. That's right. That's right.
Scott Aukerman
Incredible. Like a beautiful storytelling. A masterpiece of visual storytelling. And I'm not kidding.
Bever Hopeox
I'm. I'm right there with you.
Scott Aukerman
Can I suggest another one?
Bever Hopeox
I'll allow it.
Scott Aukerman
It's called Freerin Beyond Journey's End. And it is incredible.
Bever Hopeox
That's a. It's animated.
Scott Aukerman
It's not. It's free.
Jason Manzoukas
Rin.
Scott Aukerman
Fre. Rin.
Bever Hopeox
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
F R E R I E N. I think. And it is on.
Jason Manzoukas
It's not Free Reign, is it?
Scott Aukerman
It's on Prime. I think it's on Crunchyroll. It's like an anime. It's incredible.
Bever Hopeox
Yeah.
Jason Manzoukas
Okay.
Bever Hopeox
Loving. Loving promo. Loving. Haha. You clowns.
Scott Aukerman
So funny.
Jason Manzoukas
You guys should just hang out together.
Scott Aukerman
Animated.
Jason Manzoukas
You might be an honorary Calvin's Quad.
Bever Hopeox
You might be the quad.
Jason Manzoukas
The quad.
Bever Hopeox
The missing quad of a full quadrant.
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
Bever Hopeox
The cure marketing ploy. I was going to handle the north and Chico was doing the south and Bisby was going to go west. Bisby goes west. Favorite independent film.
Jason Manzoukas
And you can handle the east.
Bever Hopeox
I'd love to do that and cover in the east. Oh, I'd love to cover the easy. Yeah. Oh, wait. That's the witch of the West. You're the witch of the east. Oh, you're Nessa Rose. So that's not a good quadrant. That's a bad quadrant. Stumble on NBC and Peacock Bing. Season one on Peacock and high potential on abc. Those are worthwhile endeavors if you got nothing else to do.
Jason Manzoukas
Wonderful. And I Want to plug cbb world.com. we have the entire archive of Comedy Bang bang all over 950 episodes of comedy Bang Bang all ad free.
Scott Aukerman
So if you want to watch or rather listen to the entire Calvin's Triplets Saga.
Jason Manzoukas
Saga from the beginning, it's all there@cbbworld.com Also, we have every live episode we've ever done. We have other shows. Like we have the Neighborhood Listen. And we have hey, Randy.
Scott Aukerman
The Gino Lombardo College Town.
Jason Manzoukas
We're in the middle of the crisis on Infinite Bang Bangs.
Scott Aukerman
So funny. It's great. I. I love the Gino show. I think is incredibly fun.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. This book, Saved or Change? I can't remember which one it is. And so much stuff going on over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. There's one more thing you have to do. You know what it is?
Bever Hopeox
1, 2, 3.
Scott Aukerman
I want to close the bag, baby.
Jason Manzoukas
Step on in. I want to close it tight.
Scott Aukerman
You know the way to win. I want to close that bag.
Bever Hopeox
I want to make it right.
Scott Aukerman
So just where in the world am I?
Chico Hands
Me.
Jason Manzoukas
Oh, that was cool.
Scott Aukerman
Cool cat at the end there.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, I like that cool cat in there.
Scott Aukerman
That was the best part.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah. Well, guys, I want to thank you so much for coming by. Jason, always good to see you.
Scott Aukerman
Wonderful. Thank you.
Jason Manzoukas
Wonderful to have you on your second appearance this year.
Scott Aukerman
What a delight.
Jason Manzoukas
May it be many, many more.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, the second of many.
Jason Manzoukas
Second of many. I hope. I hope that is true. And the Calvin striplets, Bever, Chico and Bisby. So wonderful to have you back. I know. President Accounted for.
Chico Hands
Happy to be here.
Jason Manzoukas
I. I know we only see you every couple of. I look forward to our meetings and just catching up with you. And may. May time never age you and may you never travel down that road.
Bisbee St. Hancock
May the tears of God drip off the nose.
Jason Manzoukas
Is this Act 4?
Bisbee St. Hancock
May the tears of God drip off the nose of a fine, fine horse onto your forehead and. Cool. The sun's beaded path to spring.
Scott Aukerman
Wow. Cary Grant.
Jason Manzoukas
Incredible. Yeah. Cary Grant. Grant had some wise benedictions for the Act 4 of this musical.
Bever Hopeox
Yes. Somebody called for Wise Benedict.
Jason Manzoukas
Wise Benedict is here too.
Scott Aukerman
Wait a second. After the plugs, a new character is being introduced.
Jason Manzoukas
He's cooking up eggs. Oh, my gosh. Wise Benedict is making breakfast for us all.
Scott Aukerman
Cooking up eggs Benedict.
Jason Manzoukas
Mixing a holiday in them. Yes.
Bever Hopeox
Mostly the egg yogurt.
Scott Aukerman
As someone who is catastrophically allergic to
Jason Manzoukas
eggs, you gotta get the fuck outta here. This is a nightmare for you.
Scott Aukerman
I got to go.
Jason Manzoukas
Yeah, well, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye.
Bever Hopeox
Hi, I'm Maria, salon owner.
Jason Manzoukas
You know the jingle.
Bever Hopeox
Now discover the facts about Ozempic, a GLP1. There's only one FDA approved Ozempic.
Chico Hands
Made by Novo Nordisk.
Jason Manzoukas
Learn about the real thing. Talk to your healthcare professional today.
Scott Aukerman
Call 1833 ozempic or visit ozempic.com to
Jason Manzoukas
view the medication guide and to learn more about ozempic. Semaglutide injection 0.5 milligram, 1 milligram and 2 milligrams.
Chico Hands
Oh joy.
Scott Aukerman
Another day, another buzz delayed.
Jason Manzoukas
Look on the bright side, you can finally catch up on podcasts. You don't mind running late.
T-Mobile Announcer
What's your deal?
Jason Manzoukas
What's my deal? I say Saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month, kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.
Bever Hopeox
Only $25. I'm going to Metro when we hop
Chico Hands
off get that more for your money
Scott Aukerman
feeling only a Metro by T Mobile.
Jason Manzoukas
Just bring your number $30 first month and $25 after with autopay price guarantee. Exceptions apply. See Sign for details.
Chico Hands
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This riotous, character-heavy installment of Comedy Bang Bang, hosted by Scott Aukerman, features a chaotic reunion with the Calvins Triplets (Jason Mantzoukas, Taran Killam, Paul Brittain, and Ryan Gaul) for an episode that gleefully blurs the lines between improv, sketch, and surreal podcasting. The episode bounces among catchphrase riffs, parody commercials, immersive ranch visits, horse fighting, wild new taffy flavors, and a meta-musical-within-a-podcast. Standout elements include a new joke book (“Bever’s Yuk-Em-Ups”), inventive taffy (and liqueur!) pitches, and an in-universe kidnapping that leads to a ramshackle immersive theater experience.
The episode is pure Comedy Bang Bang: fast, free-associative, self-referential, and gleefully anarchic. The language and style are dense with improv non sequiturs, running gags, and surreal asides, veering from affectionate showbiz in-jokes to meta-commentary on podcasting, musicals, and immersive theater. The characters never break; each (especially the Calvins) brings a committed, strange, and specific comedic voice.
This episode is a wild, relentless showcase of Comedy Bang Bang’s signature longform character improv and meta-podcast surrealism. You don’t need deep lore knowledge—just a tolerance for horses, puns, acronyms, and fourth-wall vaporization. It’s a great display of Jason Mantzoukas’s comic rapport with Aukerman and the absurd genius of the Calvins Triplets crew.
Famous bits to catch:
Comedy Bang Bang’s “Bever’s Yuk-Em-Ups with The Calvins Triplets” is a laugh-dense, extremely silly episode packed with running gags, surreal character work, and chaotic musical and sketch show parodies. It's both a parody and celebration of showbiz tropes and podcast excess, featuring inventive audio improvisation and a kaleidoscopic, unpredictable structure that will reward listeners who like their comedy off the rails.