Bonus Bang: Adam Scott, Tim Baltz, Dan Adhoot (Nutz 4 Snutz)

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "Bonus Bang: Adam Scott, Tim Baltz, Dan Adhoot (Nutz 4 Snutz)"

Release Date: February 20, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Adam Scott, Tim Baltz (as Randy Snuts), Thibaut LeBeau

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Overview

In this bonus episode of "Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast," host Scott Aukerman brings together a dynamic mix of guests, including actor Adam Scott and Tim Baltz reprising his beloved character Randy Snuts—the quirky individual responsible for refilling urinals with ice at Scott's favorite restaurant, Dodomio's. The episode, titled "Nutz 4 Snutz," delves into a blend of improvisational comedy, absurdist humor, and off-the-wall conversations that epitomize the show's long-standing tradition of comedic revelry.

Sections

1. Introduction to "Nutz 4 Snutz" Series (00:00 - 03:00)

Scott Aukerman kicks off the episode by introducing the new bonus series, "Nutz for Snutz," dedicated to Randy Snuts. He provides background on Tim Baltz's tenure with Comedy Bang Bang, highlighting his recurring role and contributions both on the podcast and in related media. Scott humorously emphasizes the stylization of the series name, clarifying its numerical designation to avoid confusion.

• Notable Quote:
  • Scott Aukerman (00:00): "This is the first ever appearance of Randy Snuts where he breaks down his beef with the film The Lake House. It's a great episode and now part of Comedy Bang Bang history."

2. Banter and Catchphrases (03:08 - 07:00)

The conversation begins with Adam Scott questioning the origin of Scott's catchphrase, leading to a humorous exchange about pronunciation and the creative process behind developing memorable lines. This segment sets the tone for the episode, showcasing the chemistry between the host and his guest.

• Notable Quote:
  • Adam Scott (03:08): "Yeah. Who came up with that one?"

3. Absurd Bathroom Humor (07:00 - 12:00)

Scott and Adam dive into a playful discussion about bodily functions, focusing on farting and the peculiar concept of "the however hole." Tim Baltz, as Randy Snuts, adds to the hilarity with exaggerated explanations about why ice is placed in urinals, intertwining mock-seriousness with comedic flair.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Scott Aukerman (06:21): "What a wonderful, wonderful time we're having here today already."
  • Adam Scott (07:40): "And that the sound again is... a fart."

4. Randy Snuts' Dramatic Entrance (35:00 - 48:00)

Randy Snuts makes an unexpected appearance, disrupting the ongoing banter with his signature ice bucket. He launches into a bizarre grievance about the movie The Lake House, claiming it was directly inspired by his life and expressing a desire to sue those responsible. This segment heightens the episode's comedic absurdity, blending fictional narratives with real-life references.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Randy Snuts (35:34): "So, not only do you fill the urinals with ice, you enjoy watching them melt with urine."
  • Adam Scott (43:12): "How much do they charge for this? Just for seasoning and cooking your beef? A little more than $300-400?"

5. Introduction of Thibaut LeBeau and Further Chaos (60:18 - 81:26)

Thibaut LeBeau joins the conversation as another guest, presenting himself as the "undisputed king of Euro Trash." The interaction spirals into nonsensical dialogues about luxury, yachts with wings, and personal anecdotes laden with humor and absurdity. Randy Snuts continues to interject with increasingly outlandish claims, adding layers to the episode's chaotic charm.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Thibaut LeBeau (73:35): "I have lupus."
  • Randy Snuts (80:46): "I want you to cremate me. And I want you to pour Kevin Harris's urine and ice on top of my ashes."

6. Final Mayhem and Closing Conversations (81:19 - 88:00)

The episode culminates in a frenzy of humorous confrontations and surreal exchanges. Randy and Thibaut disrupt the flow with more outlandish statements, while Scott and Adam attempt to regain composure amidst the pandemonium. The segment is peppered with slapstick humor, mock-seriousness, and the show's signature irreverent style.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Randy Snuts (80:46): "I want you to cremate me. And I want you to pour Kevin Harris's urine and ice on top of my ashes."
  • Scott Aukerman (84:38): "It's a dream come true."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Adam Scott (03:34): "No judgments. No judgments."
• Scott Aukerman (06:21): "What a wonderful, wonderful time we're having here today already."
• Randy Snuts (35:34): "So, not only do you fill the urinals with ice, you enjoy watching them melt with urine."
• Adam Scott (43:12): "How much do they charge for this? Just for seasoning and cooking your beef? A little more than $300-400?"
• Thibaut LeBeau (73:35): "I have lupus."
• Randy Snuts (80:46): "I want you to cremate me. And I want you to pour Kevin Harris's urine and ice on top of my ashes."
• Scott Aukerman (84:38): "It's a dream come true."

Conclusion

This episode exemplifies Comedy Bang Bang's unique blend of celebrity interactions and recurring character antics, delivering a rich tapestry of humor that ranges from the absurdly silly to the darkly comedic. The interplay between Scott Aukerman, Adam Scott, Tim Baltz, and Thibaut LeBeau creates an engaging and unpredictable listening experience, making "Nutz 4 Snutz" a memorable addition to the podcast's extensive archive.

Listeners tuning in for the first time will find themselves immersed in the show's hallmark humor, characterized by quick-witted dialogue, surreal scenarios, and a relentless pursuit of comedic excellence. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the Comedy Bang Bang universe, this episode offers a delightful journey through laughter and levity.

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Feel free to explore more episodes and dive into the eccentric world of Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast at cbbworld.com.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here back with another bonus bang. As a reminder, Bonus bangs are re releases of some of the great Comedy Bang Bang episodes from the archives which are now over [e-mail] you can hear everything back there but we re release these every Thursday. And we're kicking off a new bonus bang series today. This is the first episode episode the first week that we're doing this new series. This series is called Nuts for Snuts. Nuts for Snuts with a number four. Very important for those of you keeping track that is it is the number four not a not an f nor is it f o u r but it is the number four stylized thusly. This is a series dedicated to Randy Snuts, which is a character on Comedy Bang Bang. He refills the ice in the urinals at my favorite restaurant, Domio's and he's played by Tim Baltz. Now, Tim Baltz, he's been a CBB regular for a number of years. First met him when he was a cast member of our show Bajillion dollar Properties. And he's a favorite of ours. He has his own CBB world series called hey Randy. And when Tim isn't on Comedy Bang Bang, he's on the righteous gemstones on HBO which returns for season four on March 9th. That's when he's not on Comedy Bang Bang. He goes back and forth between these two things. He doesn't sleep. He just does these two things. This week we're re releasing episode 403 entitled this Ain't now. This is then. This was originally released almost exactly nine years ago on February 22, 2016. It features Adam Scott, Tim Balt as Randy Snuts, and Tebow played by Dana Dut, who was also from Bajillion dollar Properties. This is the first ever appearance of Randy Snuts where he breaks down his beef with the film the Lake House. It's a great episode and now part of Comedy Bang Bang history. Now, if you enjoy this episode and you want more like it, you can find all of the CBB archives, including every episode we've ever recorded. All the live episodes over there@cbb world.com we're going to be back next week with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. That's Monday. Until then, please enjoy the dulcet tones of Randy Snuts on this bonus bang. From boy to boots. Getting them on that is. This is you talking U2 to me. The comprehensive and encyclopedic compendium of all things U2. This is good rock and roll music. Welcome to comedy Bang Bang. Oh, interesting catchphrase submission.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Who came up with that one?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a Scott. Hmm. A Scott came up with that. Thank you so much for that submission.

[Adam Scott]

Meaning one of many Scots.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of many Scots.

[Adam Scott]

So we don't know which one.

[Scott Aukerman]

It could be anyone at this point. Wow. Well, thank you so much for that catchphrase submission. Really harkens back to a bygone age, doesn't it?

[Adam Scott]

Oh, the halcyon days.

[Scott Aukerman]

You pronounce it halcyon. Halcyon, I say halcyon.

[Adam Scott]

Well, you're wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Adam Scott]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much do you want to bet? Do you want to bet your entire fortune?

[Adam Scott]

My inflection when I said, well, you're wrong means it was the beginning of a sentence. First of all, thank you for interrupting me. Secondly, no judgments. No judgments.

[Scott Aukerman]

No judgments.

[Adam Scott]

You're wrong, but no judgments about that. We can keep going.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about juries? What about executioners? Any of those?

[Adam Scott]

Judge, jury, executioner. The three stations.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basically, the three stages of death.

[Adam Scott]

Three stages of death.

[Scott Aukerman]

Judge, jury, executioner. I thought denial was in there at some point.

[Adam Scott]

No, no. Denial is within the subset. Okay, yeah, that's under judge executioner has six stages.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Adam Scott]

In and of itself, that's 3B. 3B is denial.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Scott]

Which is not a river in Egypt as far as I'm concerned.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy. Boy, what a wonderful, wonderful time we're having here today already.

[Adam Scott]

Way to kick it off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, boy. Especially the new year. It was a little late to kick off the new year, but I'm glad we finally did it.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's February, so really a little late on our parts. Are you burping?

[Adam Scott]

I was burping, but I did it. I kind of moved away from the mic to not burp into the microphone.

[Scott Aukerman]

We ought to have a cough button.

[Adam Scott]

It's true. And why do you have these microphones down at our butts?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's very strange, butt level.

[Adam Scott]

Just to catch any sound coming out of any butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are secondary mics. We have the ones by your mouth, of course, and then we have secondary mics by your butt.

[Adam Scott]

Well, I'm glad. Just so you know, this microphone near my butt, completely unnecessary. There won't be any sounds really coming out of my butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever farted before?

[Adam Scott]

Farting? What is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let me explain. Usually there are. The lower intestine builds up gaseous substances which.

[Adam Scott]

Can I write this down?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, please write this down. Gaseous substances, they collect in your Butthole.

[Adam Scott]

Butthole.

[Scott Aukerman]

They sort of.

[Adam Scott]

Is that two T's?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's just one T. One T. Butt.

[Adam Scott]

But hole.

[Scott Aukerman]

B U T, H, Hole.

[Adam Scott]

Like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

But hole.

[Adam Scott]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. However hole. You can also call it a however hole.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, however hole. However hole, gaseous meets up in the however hole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the however hole. And at a certain point that it is a hole, it is an escape route for these gases.

[Adam Scott]

Right, Escape route.

[Scott Aukerman]

The sphincter releases and release of the sphincter. Yeah, within your however hole.

[Adam Scott]

However hole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And then the. The passage of these gases through the however hole. Because it is a tight, constrictive hole, passage of gas creates a sound much akin to a.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, that's P. P. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

P, H, B, F, L, T, H, B, F, L, B, H, H. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, I have it right here.

[Scott Aukerman]

And humans first heard that back in the caveman age.

[Adam Scott]

Okay? Caveman.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that was the first word that the caveman thought of.

[Adam Scott]

And cavemen, they all had however holes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They all had however holes. Actually, the cavemen, you know, evolution. We all were fish. They got up and walked.

[Adam Scott]

Fish. Yeah, fish buttholes.

[Scott Aukerman]

When however holes were invented, that's when the man finally was at the last stage of evolution and became cavemen. So the last stage, they were cave boys before.

[Adam Scott]

Last stage of evolution, as we all know. Charles Darwin, Survival of the fittest. And the butthole is the last. The final sort of the however hole. Yes, the however hole was the final sort of nail on the coffin. Like, guys, we are the best. We perfected it. Check out this however hole that I have. Right, okay, so you're saying that the sound comes out of the however hole. And that is called a. I'm sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is a fart.

[Adam Scott]

Fart. Okay, a fart. A fart.

[Scott Aukerman]

A fart.

[Adam Scott]

And that the sound again is. I'm sorry. Okay, so. And that's pH, B, F, T. And that can just keep going in perpetuity.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Ph, B, FT, PHB, FT. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Like, I may as well just write etc. Etc.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sure, sure. Or just a tiny little four, you know, to the upper right of it, you know, to the fourth power, etc. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

So it's A, et cetera, et cetera, in perpetuity.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Until the end of time, as far as I'm concerned.

[Adam Scott]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, you've never done this.

[Adam Scott]

No, I haven't. And, you know, do you have a however hole? I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I tear you a new one?

[Adam Scott]

You may as well. I need a new one, really? Because the old one closed. Up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What happened here? Is it sort of like a. You know, a piercing?

[Adam Scott]

Here's what my mom used to say. I'm so full of shit, my eyes are brown.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your mom sounds like a bitch.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Terrible, terrible, terrible bitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

No wonder that you're so fucked up. She raised you just to be a terrible human being.

[Adam Scott]

Terrible. A liar. A double dealer.

[Scott Aukerman]

A dd.

[Adam Scott]

The old dd. And hey, it's a living.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. Boy, actors are liars, which I. You know what I mean?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Or, you know what's really interesting?

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell me one thing that's really interesting. I've known you for so long. I've been waiting. Right.

[Adam Scott]

And now's the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Scott]

Here's something that's actually interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, here we go.

[Adam Scott]

Is that you say they're liars. That's fine. I totally get that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Scott]

But from where I sit, Scott, on this side of the table, I think actors are actually truth tellers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. That's a new way of looking at it.

[Adam Scott]

Maybe. The last truth tellers, the last bastion of truth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, let's take one of your famous roles here, and we'll use it as an example. Hot Tub Time Machine two.

[Adam Scott]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was your character's name? Really putting you on the spot here.

[Adam Scott]

I was gonna say Josh, but now I'm gonna say it was actually Adam.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was Adam. It was Adam. So you are a truth teller.

[Adam Scott]

I'm a truth teller. And listen, this is what happened when I was on the set of HTTM 2. They would say Adam. And of course, I turned my head. Cause that's my civilian name. But it was also my character's name. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you've told me this about your roles. Okay, sure. Everything that you say in a movie is actually true.

[Adam Scott]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So when you say your name is a different name, you've changed your name to that name for the.

[Adam Scott]

I go to the dmv. I legally change my name every time I'm playing a role.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And so every single thing you've said in any of your movies is true. Is that. Is that correct or.

[Adam Scott]

That's absolutely right. I rearrange my life so that everything I say in any role is the truth. And then when the. The moment they call, that's a wrap, I go back and I change everything back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So, you know, I've known in some movies, you've had four children.

[Adam Scott]

Four. Four kids, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So you've gone out there and had sex with women to create sired women. And one time you had to legally adopt one because there was just no more time.

[Adam Scott]

Exactly. And the child and I became one almost. We were so bonded. And I loved this kid with all of my heart, and he loved me. Became a part of our family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. And then. That's a wrap.

[Adam Scott]

That's a wrap. I got rid of him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. See ya. Wouldn't wanna be you.

[Adam Scott]

I put him into a. What do they call those, Uber places?

[Scott Aukerman]

Uber.

[Adam Scott]

I put him in an Uber. Sent him down to Uber headquarters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Which is also now, as we all know, an adoption agency and put him back up for adoption.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boy, Uber Kids. That's one of their best apps.

[Adam Scott]

It's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they're making millions on these kids. Millions of dollars. They finally figured out a way to do it.

[Adam Scott]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic. Well, you know, we've been talking to Adam Scott, by the way. I wanted to introduce you.

[Adam Scott]

Hey. Hey, everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, everybody. Do you want to say hello to anyone or.

[Adam Scott]

Sure. I would like to say hello to my friends. I'd like to say hello to my family. I'd like to say hello to my fans. But most of all, Scott, I would like to say hello to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much, Scott. You're very, very welcome. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Well, welcome back to the program. It's been.

[Adam Scott]

It's been a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

It has not. No, no, no, no, no. It's been a couple months.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, since we did a U2 episode. But it's been so long since you've been on this show proper.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, yeah, probably a couple years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. A couple. Well, no, no, I'm sorry.

[Adam Scott]

A year.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's been one. Yeah, exactly. One year, actually. Well, we don't need to talk about that.

[Adam Scott]

Is it exactly one year?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, a couple days here. No. A couple days here and there. A couple days off. But thank you so much for returning.

[Adam Scott]

Yes, thanks for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what's been going on with you? I mean, you told some truth about Krampus A couple of months ago, I.

[Adam Scott]

Rearranged my life so I could actually fight a Christmas demon for a couple of months. And now I'm just in Los Angeles.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a douchey beard, I have a douchey beard. What's going on with that?

[Adam Scott]

It's for a roll, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

A roll. And we're not talking a dinner roll.

[Adam Scott]

Now listen, I'm not putting on a fake beard. You don't see me sitting in the makeup chair for six months.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever put on a fake beard?

[Adam Scott]

I've put on Fake beards before. Who hasn't?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you putting on fake beards? If everything you say, why are you.

[Adam Scott]

Asking me so many questions about my fucking beard, bro?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, bro. I'm interested in beards, you know, I know you are. You know that I have a side interest in beards, and I have a side podcast about beards, and you have.

[Adam Scott]

Your beard, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is an episode of Beardy Does It Shave it cream.

[Adam Scott]

Be nice and clean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shave every day, and you'll always look keen. Hey, welcome to Beardy Does It. We're here with one of our favorite guests. He's grown a douchey beard. He's had it for a couple of months now. A couple of months. Please welcome Adam Scott.

[Adam Scott]

Thank you. Thanks a lot. Yeah, you know, I have a beard.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's been our episode of Beardy Does It. All right.

[Adam Scott]

Shaving cream. Be nice and clean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shave every day, and you'll always look keen. Great app.

[Adam Scott]

That was a terrific app. You know, the show is always good.

[Scott Aukerman]

The beardy Beardy does it is always a.

[Adam Scott]

Always, always terrific. But that one, that had something special. Yeah, it was better.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, better than.

[Adam Scott]

I think it was. My. The thing I liked about it, Scott, if I'm being completely honest. And just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please.

[Adam Scott]

Just speaking, like, total candor, no filter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mm.

[Adam Scott]

I liked it when you were talking about the beards, but I also liked it when you intro'd. Like, you could set a time, set a place. You know what I mean? Like, here we are. This is who we are. We don't care. We're here for the beards.

[Scott Aukerman]

I loved it.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is, like, great sex, what we're doing right now.

[Adam Scott]

It really is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever had great sex?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, it's like. You know what it's like, Scott? It's. It's like. It's like just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just fucking. Just you and me fucking.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, just fucking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever thought about fucking each other?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I think about. Well, that's what I. Whenever we're doing a podcast together, I just think, like, ooh, just fuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just go home and I tell my wife, I'm like, I just fucked.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I just fucked.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was so fucking good.

[Adam Scott]

I go home and I sit my kids down and I go, I just fucked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are your kids standing up? What? Why are your kids standing? Why do you have to sit them down? Let them sit down around the house?

[Adam Scott]

Oh, because they both. I. When they're in the house, they're only allowed to. Their only transportation that they're allowed is wheelchairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, well, you have a. You have a. You live in an abandoned hospital.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. And the ceilings are incredibly low, so no one, even a child, can stand up. So we all have to jump into.

[Scott Aukerman]

A hop in a W chair.

[Adam Scott]

An old fashioned wheelchair for that we got from the set of the Nick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Scott]

We use those.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's haunted too. You were telling me, right? Yeah, the hospital's haunted.

[Adam Scott]

It's filled with ghosts.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I've talked about this on the show before. Hospitals would be the most haunted places in the world.

[Adam Scott]

Well, yeah, there's a lot of death that exists.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of death there. And so you would imagine that ghosts would hang out there exclusively.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Or even go there to get treated for diseases.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, ghost diseases.

[Adam Scott]

Ghost aids, common colds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The ghost common cold. Why haven't we, you know, cured that?

[Adam Scott]

The ghost common cold is even more contagious than a regular cold.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. If a ghost sneezes on you, by the way, oh, my God, you're sick for. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

All that ghost snot that you get on your face.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And if a ghost comes in your face too, that's just like. You would be surprised. Because I do. I'm a side shaman.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the side. You would be. And I can see. I have perception that other people can't see. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm so tired of talking about this.

[Adam Scott]

You are kind of just. Can I say tuned in?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. To other frequencies.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. People say medium this, medium that, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like I'm an extra large.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. At this point. Medium is such a diminutive word.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly, exactly. But you would be surprised when I walk around the city, and I love to walk around the city, just looking at the architecture, looking up, looking down, it's like, hey, oh, look at that. What is that? Is that a Roman column? Is that Ionic?

[Adam Scott]

Whenever we're out on the streets, just walking around, just having our long talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

That we have, because a lot of people don't know, anytime we do a podcast, we preface it with a four hour walk. We walk everywhere just to figure it out.

[Adam Scott]

And I'm always like, hey, Scott, Scott. Down here, down here. Why are you looking up?

[Scott Aukerman]

My eyes are down here.

[Adam Scott]

I'm here. Why are you looking down at this? And you're like, I love taking in the street art. This whole thing is like a big piece of art to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I love is a good Banksy. You know what I mean?

[Adam Scott]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever seen a good Banksy?

[Adam Scott]

Have I ever seen a bad Banksy? How about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's great. Anyway, what I was gonna say is you would be surprised when you walk around the city just how much ghost cum is on people's faces.

[Adam Scott]

Oh yeah. So you can see the cum, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I can see the. It's like ectoplasm, you know, Perhaps you remember that movie G. Oh, Ghostbusters. Yes, with Slimer, AKA Onion Head.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. You know, it's funny that his name is Onion. People don't really know that. But you know that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, of course I know that. I am an aficionado of Ghostbusters.

[Adam Scott]

Now you've always said that. Ghostbusters starring Onionhead and Ernie Hudson. Now did you know that there's also Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, what's his now, Harold Ramos?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not ringing a bell.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, see Onionhead and Ernie Hudson aren't.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a two hander as far as I'm concerned. Well, I mean they're one green and one human colored.

[Adam Scott]

Now they're both definitely in the movie. You're you flesh colored, I should say of saying something incredibly racist.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I was gonna say flesh colored.

[Adam Scott]

But they're not the star. I wouldn't call it a two hander at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would. Well, a four hander, obviously they have two hands, you know that it's a little. They should call movies like you know, Rush Hour, Rush Hour two, Rush Hour three, hopefully a Rush Hour four and then I'll finally pay attention to it.

[Adam Scott]

There is a rush.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all know that if there's four in a series, we can finally pay attention to it. There is a Rush Hour four.

[Adam Scott]

I thought there was.

[Scott Aukerman]

There is.

[Adam Scott]

Is there not?

[Scott Aukerman]

There is a Rush Hour four. We gotta get it. No, I don't believe so.

[Adam Scott]

But what you're saying, the stupid thing you're about to say is that they should all be called forehanders.

[Scott Aukerman]

They should be called forehanders.

[Adam Scott]

There's two people, each person has two hands. But Scott, what if one of the people lost their hand in an accident? What if one of the people is fucking Luke Skywalker?

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa man, you're fucking blowing my mind. Well Adam, it's a great privilege to be allowed to be in a room. Someone is showing me a picture that Sundays rush hour four, but I can't. It could be photoshopped. I don't know what that means. Show me a Wikipedia entry that says Rush Hour four and then a cast list and maybe I'll believe it.

[Adam Scott]

I thought there were four of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

When was the fourth one?

[Adam Scott]

I don't know, I haven't seen any of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Holy shit, there is a four. Okay, we got. Okay, we gotta read some trivia on this.

[Adam Scott]

When did 4 come out?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, it didn't. 4 supposedly came out in 2012. The plot is unknown at this time. It says this doesn't exist.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, so it's not real?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's okay. Trivia. Brett Ratner stated he would not return for this movie as director Jackie Chan has admitted he was not interested in reprising his role as Lee. This doesn't sound like a real thing. Take that fucking picture away from me. Adam, what are you most proud of in your life? I guess, taking your family out of it. I love my family.

[Adam Scott]

Forget about that. I'm not proud of any of that anyway. I feel like, for me, the thing I'm most proud of in my life being a person who lives in California.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. One of the 48.

[Adam Scott]

One of the 48 landlocked states. Because as we all know, California actually is landlocked. Certainly the ocean is complete bullshit.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'd be interesting if it were not landlocked. Like if we just put kind of a tributary or a river around the border.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Or like, so it's like an island. If the border of. Like, if Los Angeles, let's say Santa Monica, was up against a body of water. Oh, man, I would love that. People could enjoy the water in any way they want.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Scott]

Be it sand hopping, river gliding. What's another cloud castling? Cloud castling, of course. Portion fending.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Scott]

Any of these things that people like.

[Scott Aukerman]

To do, they love to do these. And these are the most.

[Adam Scott]

The most popular.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, why bother talking about the least popular?

[Adam Scott]

I know when you have portion pending.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, of course.

[Adam Scott]

So that's what I'm most proud of is being a person who really cares about their California heritage and really fights for the rights of all California.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think about that flag? You know, the California flag? Yeah. Fill you with pride.

[Adam Scott]

Every time I look at the California flag, and you'll see if you show me the California flag right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I happen to have one right here, actually, so here we go. It's fluttering and flapping in the wind. This is a very windy studio.

[Adam Scott]

I'm looking at it, and it usually takes me a couple minutes. But every time I see a California flag, I burst into tears.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, I get scared of that bear on it.

[Adam Scott]

The bear is incredibly scary. That's what people never talk about is how scary.

[Scott Aukerman]

How scary the bear is. It's so frightening.

[Adam Scott]

That's part of Why? I burst into tears because I'm frightened.

[Scott Aukerman]

Frightened of the bear. I think it's coming right at me, usually. Me too. It's a lot like that movie with the train coming right at you. That scared everyone in the theater. That's how I feel when I look.

[Adam Scott]

At the California Forest or the Leonardo DiCaprio movie where the bear jumps out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of the screen and mauls everyone in the audience.

[Adam Scott]

In the theater? Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone talks about, oh, our theater's too dangerous. Do we need metal detectors? Let's start worrying about the bears.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, let's get Leonardo DiCaprio to stop bringing bears into his movies, into every movie theater in America.

[Scott Aukerman]

And while we're at it, let's go backwards to the Bad News Bears. Those guys were pretty scary, too.

[Adam Scott]

I'm glad I wasn't of age to see that movie in the movie theater, because those bears, they meant business.

[Scott Aukerman]

They. I mean, the way they bumbled and.

[Adam Scott]

Fumbled, but ultimately, yeah, they took home the big prize. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

They did in the sequel, of course.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. They didn't win in the first one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't believe they won in the first one. They just had fun and they told off one of the dads.

[Adam Scott]

Had fun?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, had fun.

[Adam Scott]

You know. Have you seen the trailer for that movie on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, every day. Every day of my life.

[Adam Scott]

They say the N word in the trailer for that movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a different time.

[Adam Scott]

Rated pg.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was pg. And at the time, because I was a kid, I really wanted to see it. And because it was pg, that's what PG used to mean, was. This has stuff that is not suitable for kids.

[Adam Scott]

Right. It meant R, basically. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's what an R would be. Now if you watch that movie, they're looking at Playboys smoking. Smoking. They say the N word constantly.

[Adam Scott]

They say the N word many times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Multiple times more than I'm comfortable saying.

[Adam Scott]

And it's kids saying the N word.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. It's like a Quentin Tarantino movie, basically. Speaking of Tarantin, you hoping that he resuscitates your career?

[Adam Scott]

Are you? Are you. Is that what you call him now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Tarantino?

[Adam Scott]

Tarantino, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're hoping he does, like, a John Travolta thing with you or he picks up an actor who's gone fallow, who's.

[Adam Scott]

Who's all washed up. That would be great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And just sort of recontextualizes him for a new generation.

[Adam Scott]

He sort of reintroduces him to a.

[Scott Aukerman]

New generation by introducing Adam Scott.

[Adam Scott]

And everyone has to try and, like, see if they remember that actor. Yeah. Yeah, I think I could really use that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think you could. You've had a string of, you know. You know.

[Adam Scott]

No, I don't. What do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you strung them out, you know.

[Adam Scott]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you have? You have. You went to the dance recently, right?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I'm gonna go again this year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You took a trip. This is, of course, February. So you just.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, yeah, I just got back from the dance. Yeah, it was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

You enjoy the dances here?

[Adam Scott]

It was great. It was cold, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, I got El Nino's back.

[Adam Scott]

El Nino. El Nino hit. Hit Park City hard this year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Scott]

So there was so much snow that all of the people from Hollywood, they couldn't even see their egos.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? Usually the snow in Sundance is the cocaine that all the actors and actresses, all the producers.

[Adam Scott]

Weirdos.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Do.

[Scott Aukerman]

But this year it was a literal, you know, precipitation forming into ice particles falling from the sky.

[Adam Scott]

Well, it's like rain, but it's extremely cold. Hard rain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hard, sharp, spiky rain.

[Adam Scott]

And we're not talking about the Morgan Freeman, Christian Slater movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, of course not. Which one's that?

[Adam Scott]

Hard Rain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hard rain, okay.

[Adam Scott]

Is that what.

[Scott Aukerman]

For some reason, I was thinking Broken Arrow, but that's a Travolt.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, that's Travolt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Right after Tarantin kind of resuscitated his career.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kristen Slater, what a career.

[Adam Scott]

Hey, just won a Golden Globe last month.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, totally won a gg. You gonna win one of those?

[Adam Scott]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. You don't think so?

[Adam Scott]

I don't really see that you got.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anything in the pipeline that is award worthy or of note at all.

[Adam Scott]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about this movie you went to the dance with? I've seen it. It's a great, great film.

[Adam Scott]

Well, I'm not in that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. But you produced it. You might want a GG for that.

[Adam Scott]

It's true, but I doubt it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not proud of this one?

[Adam Scott]

No, I very much am.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a great film. People should check it out. It's called Star wars episode. Which one?

[Adam Scott]

12. We jumped ahead.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, good.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, the first one was four.

[Adam Scott]

The first one was four. So we thought, well, why don't we just jump ahead and start telling a story that takes place on Earth with regular people? In fact, we shot a movie because.

[Scott Aukerman]

The other Star wars were a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Yeah. We're saying, what about 12 just jumps ahead to Earth in 2016?

[Adam Scott]

A little slightly in the future. Pretty close to home is what we say in the opening crawl. And it's just about humans kind of living their lives on Earth in 2016.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. I mean, it qualifies because it's in the same timeline as a Star Wars.

[Adam Scott]

And there's a character in the movie whose middle name is Luke, which is the same. First name is Luke Skywalker. Who's Luke Skywalker? Who's he? Who?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's he?

[Adam Scott]

Who's he?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is he? You like those lightsabers?

[Adam Scott]

Oh, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was weird in your film because it's. I mean, it's a cancer drama starring Molly Shannon.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

When she took out that lightsaber and was just like, well, here's the thing. I'm gonna cut the cancer out of me.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Here's the thing is that when we decided to turn it into a Star wars movie, it was after it had been shot, post production.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was like when they do a 3D, you know, after the fact.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. And the. The writer, director, great, brilliant guy named Chris Kelly was. I said, hey, listen, did you see Star Wars? And he was like, yeah, of course. I love Star Wars.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I said, here's the thing. Do another bump.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have an idea for.

[Adam Scott]

Here's some more cocaine. Now listen. And then I just turned it into a Star wars movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he said, now listen. And then you shut the door on.

[Adam Scott]

Him and turned his beautiful, haunting, very funny, dramatic film about a son and his mother. I turned it into a Star wars movie. And it works.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so much better. It sounds like a crazy idea, but it works.

[Adam Scott]

No, it works very, very well. And I think. I have not spoken to Chris about it, but I would only assume that he's incredibly proud of what I did to his movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're being sued by the Star wars franchise.

[Adam Scott]

Is he correct. By Lucasfilm? By Disney. Which is not a big deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. It's like, hey, Mickey Mouse is suing me.

[Adam Scott]

Who cares? I mean. Oh, I'm suing you. Yeah. What is Goofy gonna represent him in court?

[Scott Aukerman]

Judge, jury, and executioner.

[Adam Scott]

It's really. I'm just not taking it seriously.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, of course. Who would at this point?

[Adam Scott]

Right. And I'm also being sued by the filmmaker. By Chris.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, wait, you're assuming that he's proud, though?

[Adam Scott]

I think he's very proud of it. I just think that he's kind of listening to the powers that be. Oh, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all do that in our lives. It's like, listen to your heart first.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Listen to the kind of. The artist inside of you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen to your fart first.

[Adam Scott]

You have to listen to your farts. So we'll see how it goes. But I'm really happy to be a part of the Star wars family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Star wars universe. Now you're part of it. You're like Mace Windu or something.

[Adam Scott]

The best character in the history of Star Wars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, of course. Well, congratulations. And you're an unofficial Jedi. I know you're still waiting to get your Jedi belt.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I mean, I sent away for it. I saved up 6,000 proofs of purchases.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what did you purchase?

[Adam Scott]

Action figures.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. 6,000 action figures.

[Adam Scott]

But the thing is, they weren't Star wars action figures.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, sure.

[Adam Scott]

They were all the. Remember the Avatar toy line?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, love. Of course I do.

[Adam Scott]

6,000. The Sigourney Weaver character.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Just 6,000 of those.

[Adam Scott]

Just 6,000 of those. And sent those to any of the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Na'vi involved in this.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, there were beautiful Na'vi creatures. So you could get Sigourney Weaver just as a human or her as a Na'vi, of course. And So I got 6,000 of. Of each. Sent all of those little cardboard cutout proofs of purchases.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. For the listener. He's miming. Scissors. Scissors are very helpful to me.

[Adam Scott]

I'm sorry. I cut them out of. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm doing the sound effect now, so. Yeah, it really comes to life here.

[Adam Scott]

And I sent it. I just wrote on the envelope Star Wars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Scott]

Gave it to the mailman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Scott]

And so I'm awaiting my Star wars belt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Okay. Well, you're gonna get it someday, my friend.

[Adam Scott]

I know I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Before we go to a break, gotta ask you, you two, anything happening? People wanna know, anything happening with U2. They did their HBO special. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

What do you think of that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I still haven't seen it.

[Adam Scott]

You haven't?

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, there was some talk initially on HBO side, not the band side.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

About us going out there and doing something in Paris. I'm kinda glad we didn't go.

[Adam Scott]

I think I might be, too, actually. I feel like it may have been a rough trip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it might have been. But looking forward to. They did announce their new record maybe coming out this year. Do you want to do an EP if it comes out?

[Adam Scott]

Oh, yeah, for sure. We would have to, don't you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like we would have to. Even though we. People are constantly saying, come on, do another episode. Come on, do it. We ended on such a high talking to the band.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. I mean, how could we really? I mean, the only other thing I guess we could do is sort of go back and play some of the bits from the interview that we didn't include, which was just all that kind of chatter before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. We never talked about it. They came in and the Edge sat down and started playing Stuck in a moment. Stuck in a Moment. And we got some of that on tape. And then we talked about other stuff.

[Adam Scott]

I can't remember, but is it worth an episode?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's probably the most worth it thing that we've ever talked about. Well, I'll tell you what. If I have your verbal promise, then we'll do another episode if they come out with another album. How's that sound?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, that sounds great.

[Scott Aukerman]

You two, if you're listening. What am I saying? Of course they're listening. Bonobos Thej.

[Adam Scott]

Play 2000.

[Scott Aukerman]

2000 pounds, you know. Of course, Larry Mullins in your son. You're listening, obviously. So, you know, get to stepping on putting out that new record. Get to stepping. Sure. That's the proper way to talk to them.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we'll do an episode. We'll do an app to promote it for you.

[Adam Scott]

Sounds great.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, sounds good. Let's go to a break. When we come back, we'll have more Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back here with Scott and Scott and Scott together again.

[Adam Scott]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

One thing, I didn't remember doing these shows. It's been a minute since you and I have done these shows.

[Adam Scott]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

And is the constant, every break you going to the restroom?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. I wasn't aware of this, of how annoying that. But when.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's not annoying. I just. It's something that I forgot about because most people, human being with, you know, big boy sized bladders. Yeah. They don't have to do it every day.

[Adam Scott]

Well, when am I supposed to do my cocaine?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's what's happening.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Remember the old Earwolf studios when we first started you talking YouTube to me with those gross toilets?

[Adam Scott]

Oh, man, those bathrooms. Bathrooms were very brutal.

[Scott Aukerman]

They were brutal.

[Adam Scott]

I believe we talked about it on the air.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we did, we did. But we have nice ones here now.

[Adam Scott]

Beautiful restrooms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beautiful restrooms. So that's fantastic.

[Adam Scott]

And I would eat lunch out of those toilets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they're great. I mean, and so. Yeah, they're beautiful. I really love them.

[Adam Scott]

Gorgeous.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gorgeous. I would, you know, I would.

[Adam Scott]

I would.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would eat a pie off the surface of these toilets.

[Adam Scott]

I would eat.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what kind of pie I'm talking about, right?

[Adam Scott]

Oh, yeah. Pussy, bro.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hair pie, bro.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I love these toilets and the things that sit on them.

[Adam Scott]

Me, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

But.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Dude. Hey, What? Yeah, man.

[Adam Scott]

Huh?

[Randy Snuts]

What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. Oh, who's. Sorry, who. Who are you, sir?

[Randy Snuts]

Come on, dude. You don't recognize me? I'm the guy who fills your. The urinal at your favorite restaurant with ice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Randy Snuts]

What's going on? I heard you guys talking about toilets, so I came in here with my ice bucket.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, you have a huge ice bucket here.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. You guys want to piss in it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam just went.

[Adam Scott]

I'm all good.

[Randy Snuts]

Aw, too bad, dude. If I had known you were going, I would have put some ice on that urinal and you could have pissed in it, and it would have been nice to watch the ice melt and feel powerful.

[Adam Scott]

So not only do you fill the urinals with ice, you enjoy watching them melt with urine.

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, I'm not going to watch unless you ask me to watch you, like, melt some of that ice, you know, but I think it's a universal thing that people are like, you know, we lose so much control in our lives that it's nice to know, like, my piss is always going to be hot and capable of melting ice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, who are you and why did you come in here?

[Randy Snuts]

You don't recognize me? I work at your favorite restaurant.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's my favorite restaurant? According to you, Didomio's. Didomio. Yeah, of course. That's my favorite restaurant.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Well, my name's Randy Snotz. I've been working at Dodomio's for a.

[Scott Aukerman]

You work at Dodomios?

[Adam Scott]

What is your last name?

[Randy Snuts]

Snuts.

[Adam Scott]

Snots?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. S N U, T, S. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Okay. I was just checking what your last name was.

[Randy Snuts]

It's Irish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, you're one of the Irish people.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

I have a question, because I'm actually happy you're here, because I've always wondered, why ice in the urinals?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's a great question. I've never really understood it. Because is it supposed to keep the pee cold? That's the only theory I have.

[Adam Scott]

Right. Like, why would you need your pee to be colder than it was when it left you? I mean, it's gonna drop in temperature no matter what. Why ice?

[Scott Aukerman]

Plus, it's just going right down that pipe, I hope.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or, you know, because when you. When you have ice there, it's like, you know how when you pour just a nice fifth of scotch on some ice. Oh, gosh.

[Adam Scott]

I just Love the sound of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just love the. You know, sometimes I won't even drink it because I have a drinking problem and I really should be quitting. I just love the sound of it. I love the taste of it. I can't help but taste it.

[Adam Scott]

And I don't even.

[Scott Aukerman]

And drink the whole thing.

[Adam Scott]

I don't even drink. But I have a vast collection of scotches and a vast collection of different ice making machines.

[Scott Aukerman]

And sometimes I don't even pour it on ice. Sometimes I just pour it down the sink.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Just like a nice 15 year old. You just. Right down the sink. Sometimes I just pour it down the toilet. Oh my gosh. It's so nice. Just. It's so great to have such an appreciation for fine things, especially a clean.

[Adam Scott]

Toilet like the ones you have here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. But to my point, what I was going to say is anytime you pour scotch on ice, you're left with scotch molecules on top of the ice instead of it just going down the toilet. The pee molecules are now coagulating on top of the ice. What is the purpose of this, sir?

[Randy Snuts]

That's just like the good stuff, you know, that's like what happens after.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the good stuff.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, that's the good stuff, baby. You know, like, I mean, look, I'm not gonna speculate on why it feels good to like pee on ice. Although like I said my piece on this, you know, like, it makes feel powerful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you have said, you have said a bit.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Why does it make us feel powerful? Because we have the power to melt the ice.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, like, you know, a lot of religions believe in like predestination and, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Like, you're like, the fate of your life is already predetermined.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, sometimes I think that humans have choice.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, so do I. And I think the best choice to make is to like enact change in the world. But it's actually pretty difficult. What can leave you feeling like, you know, out of control, Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So we feel out of control in our lives and this is one thing that we can. That sort of like settles us down and makes us feel good. Like, hey, at least I can melt ice with my penis.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Scott]

So that's why there is ice in urinals, is to make people feel more in control of their lives and their destiny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Werner Herzog would say that it's sort of man above nature and sort of asserting man's dominance over nature. Is that correct?

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, that's pretty interesting. Yeah. I would definitely say that Werner Herzog has pissed on ice before and let it melt and gotten his jollies off of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I gotta ask him about that.

[Adam Scott]

Do you think that's where Werner Herzog gets all of his ideas?

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, I'm not gonna speculate on that, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

You won't. Okay, good. Good. I was gonna say, Adam, that's a little rude to ask him to speculate on that.

[Adam Scott]

Well, I wasn't asking him to speculate. I was just asking him if it's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. You were asking for facts.

[Adam Scott]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Please don't speculate. Tell us the facts.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, yeah, that's absolutely true.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, good.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm just not gonn.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, no, please don't do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please, dude. God, when you even say it, it just gives me the heebie jeebies.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm glad you guys brought up Werner Herzog.

[Adam Scott]

Cause, well, Scott brought it up. I had nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

We didn't do that in tandem.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, right. All right, well, I'm glad that Scott brought it up. And then, Adam, that you, like, you know, you piggybacked off of it.

[Adam Scott]

I wouldn't call it piggybacking. I wasn't following Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would call it a sidecar more than pig. You know, like when Robin would sit in Batman's sidecar and just go, go faster, Batman.

[Adam Scott]

No, it was a completely independent. I would have asked it whether you brought up Werner Herzog or not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so we're riding two motorcycles.

[Adam Scott]

Two motorcycles separately, going the exact same speed down the exact same fairway on a golf course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Motorcycles on a golf course. Great.

[Randy Snuts]

I love this kind of industry talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Randy Snuts]

It really gets me going. But the reason I was excited about it was I had a beef to bring up with you guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

So, like, I'm pretty sure that when I go to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can barely pronounce it. I love the restaurant, though.

[Randy Snuts]

It's Didomio's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Didomio's.

[Adam Scott]

When I go to Didomio's, it's your favorite restaurant, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I mean, you know, it's so hard to pronounce. You got two apostrophes in there. It's like talking Tang.

[Randy Snuts]

Dadolmeo's. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But when I go there, I order the beef, and sometimes someone brings me the beef there. So if you're bringing me a beef that you wanted to bring up. So that's very akin to my experience at Dodomio's.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, I know. Well, Didomio's is one of the only BYO beef places in the city where you bring your own beef and they'll cook it for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I love that about that.

[Adam Scott]

So you bring raw beef to the. To the restaurant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's not raw. You're gonna sear it at home.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, of course I'm sad, But you're.

[Randy Snuts]

Not gonna bring fully cooked beef to a restaurant and be like, please do something with this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

What do we do with this seared beef?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. It's got a nice sear on it. You wanted just some nice, you know, some browning, some nice char.

[Adam Scott]

And then what did they do with it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Then they do all the rest, bro.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, man. They add the accoutrement. They add, like, all the condiments and stuff.

[Adam Scott]

So they season your beef?

[Scott Aukerman]

When you put it that way.

[Adam Scott]

You perv.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Why is that perverted? I don't understand.

[Randy Snuts]

This guy's got a boner under the table.

[Adam Scott]

No, I. Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have the mic down there. I can hear it. There it is.

[Randy Snuts]

There it is. He just had to move the mic from his butt to his crotch.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, so fine. I have a boner when I talk about seared beef and seasoning your beef. Wait, so how much do they charge for this? Just for seasoning and cooking your beef? A little more than.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not a lot. It's like, you know, 300, $400? That's not that much.

[Adam Scott]

That's incredibly expensive.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not that much. I mean, when you're in the top 1% of the top 1%, it's not that much.

[Adam Scott]

But you're not. Scott, what do you mean you're not in the top 1% of the top 1%?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I am.

[Adam Scott]

I think you're not. Do you have billions of dollars?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, then you are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course I do.

[Randy Snuts]

Three or four hundred dollars is not a lot of money for someone to cook your beef.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I mean, I guess for the top 1% of the 1%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. At 1 point, someone came up. I had millions of dollars, and someone said, you know what's cooler than millions of dollars? Billion. And I went, oh, okay, I'll have those. And then. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

And you just had them?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That was all it took.

[Adam Scott]

Just someone saying that, and then you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a leprechaun, and I caught him and I forced him to give me his gold. Anyway, it's a long fucking. God. Adam, we're talking to Randy snuts over here. Sorry. You're asking me about my leprechaun history?

[Adam Scott]

It's Randy. Snots.

[Scott Aukerman]

Snuts.

[Randy Snuts]

Snuts. Yeah. S N U T, S. When you.

[Adam Scott]

Say it, I can hear snuts. But when you say it, I hear. I can't tell if it's not from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Santa Cruz or California, bro.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, dude, I'm, like, third generation American and my family's from Dublin.

[Adam Scott]

Snuts.

[Randy Snuts]

It's a classic Irish name.

[Adam Scott]

Snot.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you have a bone to pick, so to speak with me.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. So I'm pretty sure that the movie the Lake House was directly inspired from events of my life, and I want to sue somebody for it, but I don't know where to begin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good thing that you came to me about this.

[Adam Scott]

Why? Is that a beef with Scott or I.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, it's not a beef with you guys. It's just a beef I have.

[Scott Aukerman]

He wanted to bring up.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, I need help. Someone's gotta help, like, you know, figure this out for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, let's talk about the plot of the Lake house.

[Adam Scott]

Now, this is Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Absolutely. Making magic together once again.

[Scott Aukerman]

They live in a house in separate time periods, correct?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah. He lives there in 2004, you know, and she lives there in 2006.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so not that far apart.

[Adam Scott]

Two years apart.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Yeah. But then they're writing letters to each other. Cause, like, one's an owner, you know, and the other's an owner.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then is one renting or is one. And they're both owners.

[Randy Snuts]

They're both owners. And then they figure out that that's this very important.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they talk about that in the film? Do they both say, I'm an owner?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, they're.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of their first lines.

[Adam Scott]

Do they put the deed? Because there's a magic mailbox, right?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're like, you know, trying to mail each other. Trying to mail, like, the previous owner and the other owner, like, problems about the house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why didn't they just call it the Magic Mailbox?

[Adam Scott]

I don't know. Because if it was, I'd go see that film. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, that sounds great.

[Adam Scott]

I mean, I saw the Lake House, but I would see it twice if it was called the Magic Mailbox.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Just to see that come up on the screen, of course. Oh, my gosh.

[Randy Snuts]

I saw the Lake house a bunch of times on airplanes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Where were you flying from? And to where?

[Randy Snuts]

I was flying from Seattle to Spokane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then back. Back and forth. Or do you just stay there for a while?

[Randy Snuts]

I had to do it three times to complete the film.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Scott]

Wait, You. You. Oh, to complete. Because it was a short flight.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. It's not a long flight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. So just there and then back and then there again, and then what'd you do at that point?

[Randy Snuts]

That point. Then I rented a car and drove back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Adam Scott]

But since they wouldn't show a movie on a flight that's only like 45 minutes, does that mean that you brought your own portable device and just watched sections of the movie on the short flight?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, and then I repowered my laptop once I got to the Spokane airport.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. That takes about 14 hours or so. Get it at full charge and then.

[Randy Snuts]

Get on standby and then turn my computer on once I get on the flight. Once they say it's okay to turn it on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sure, sure. Okay. All right, back in, like, federal aviation regulation.

[Adam Scott]

So it ends up you have, like, 22 minutes of screen time, if you're going by FAA regulations.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great. So it took you three flights. And they have a magic mailbox. Can I ask you some? And so that's the plot of the lake house. They have a magic mailbox. They. They mail back and forth, and then they fall in love, and then they go meet each other in 2000, 2006, I guess they go meet each other.

[Randy Snuts]

They figure out that. So Keanu Reeves is sneaky about it, and he goes and he meets her.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a little sneak.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, he's always sneaky in his movies. Did you see John Reynolds or John Wick?

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe that's what you're talking about. That's not a good pull. Reynolds to Wick.

[Adam Scott]

Well, whichever Wick ever. He was really sneaky in that movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's so sneaky, he should wear sneakers in all of his films.

[Adam Scott]

Sometimes he does sky.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right, I'm sorry. Look, Adam, I want to apologize to you.

[Adam Scott]

I accept your apology, and I thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I appreciate you accepting my apology. It takes a big man to do that.

[Adam Scott]

Thank you.

[Randy Snuts]

I have reason to believe that John Wick was also based on my life. Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, let's talk about your life, because this is interesting to me. So that's the plot of the lake house. Did you own a lake house?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. So I grew up with a lake house, and we used to go there for summers and stuff and whatnot. So I had a mailbox, and I used to correspond with people, and, you know, they'd say, this ain't now. This is before. And, you know, I didn't believe it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you Just received what, a postcard or a letter?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, get a postcard that was dated, you know, two weeks before the day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well that's, you know, look, a lot of the mail is dated at dates that are previous to when you actually receive them. It takes a little bit of a time to actually deliver the mail.

[Randy Snuts]

See, this sounds a lot like the Lake House two.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Lake House two.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, the Lake House two.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, is that in development? Is this like a Rush Hour 4 situation?

[Randy Snuts]

It came out already.

[Adam Scott]

It did. Are Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in it?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, they are. They both play mail men that get a lake house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Sounds like a real forehander.

[Adam Scott]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

My gosh. Well, that. So you would receive mail and it would have a postmark from a date previous to the day that you received it. And then you thought that when you saw the lake house, you thought it was based on.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, dude, that's based on me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Now I think he's got a case here.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I think that. Do you have an attorney yet or.

[Randy Snuts]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would like to pass the bar and represent you.

[Adam Scott]

You should. You know, the bar is super easy.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's super easy.

[Adam Scott]

I'll just do it in California.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll do it today.

[Adam Scott]

Okay. So by the end of the day, looks like you have representation.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, dude, I would love that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

That'd be killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great. Well, you know, let's get into a judge, jury and executioner situation with this thing.

[Adam Scott]

If I could just ask real quick again, on the postcard in the message column where people write like, hey, how's it going? I'm in Paris, just thinking of you. This is not the postcard. I'm not asserting this is a postcard you received. I'm just.

[Scott Aukerman]

The court stipulates this is not the postcard.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, I'm pretty good already.

[Randy Snuts]

Not bad.

[Adam Scott]

In that section of the postcard, people would write to you, this isn't now.

[Scott Aukerman]

This ain't now. This is then. Is that what.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, this ain't now. This is then.

[Adam Scott]

And did this happen before the lake house was released?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that's the. I bet that's the kicker of it.

[Randy Snuts]

Is, that's the crazy thing is that it started happening after I saw the lake house.

[Scott Aukerman]

But they were writing it before.

[Randy Snuts]

Uh huh. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, well.

[Randy Snuts]

Cause I heard the lake house came out in 2006, but was actually written in 2010.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Scott]

And they sent. They put. Maybe they put the script into a magic mailbox.

[Scott Aukerman]

Into a magic mailbox? Yeah. And they knew, they watched it, they just typed out everything that happened in the movie, including Sandra Bullock does this. Keanu Reeves does this. Keanu Reeves sneaks around, does this. And then they put it in the magic mailbox, they mail it back to themselves and then they. Oh my gosh.

[Randy Snuts]

And the sneakiest part is that they renamed it the Lake house. And in 2010 it was called the Magic Mailbox.

[Adam Scott]

Wow.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amazing.

[Adam Scott]

And how does all of this add up to you having a case against them?

[Scott Aukerman]

Two plus two in this case equals four, Adam.

[Adam Scott]

Well, listen, I'm not a lawyer and I like.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I will be. Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

By the end of the day. But I think habeas corpus. Adam, are you saying that as like lawyer lender?

[Scott Aukerman]

Ipso facto.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, that means nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. Yeah. To a non lawyer. Such as yourself.

[Adam Scott]

Such as yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Correct. Esquire. Ever heard of it?

[Adam Scott]

Don't get all high and mighty with me just because you're going to be a lawyer. That's like me saying I'm gonna be a CIA special Agent by the end of the month.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're what now?

[Adam Scott]

I'm going to be a CIA special Agent by the end of the month.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on. Okay, Randy, hold on one second. I got to talk to Adam.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm going to back away from the mic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh my God. You're going to do. You're going to be in the CIA.

[Adam Scott]

Did I stutter?

[Scott Aukerman]

Say it again. Let me see if you do.

[Adam Scott]

I'm going to be a CIA.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what it was. Yeah, you just did stutter. That's why I didn't mention end of the month.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on?

[Adam Scott]

Did I stutter?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, you did. That's why I didn't understand you.

[Adam Scott]

Sorry, I've just been stuttering lately when I'm talking about my CIA training.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's cause you're nervous. You gotta get over this, bro.

[Adam Scott]

Yes, it's terrifying. You know what they do to train you to be a CIA Special Agent analyst?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Adam Scott]

They bring you up into an airplane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh my God, this sounds horrible already. I mean, you know Randy over here, he's done it three times recently, but not me.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Have you been up in an airplane, Randy? Oh, you watched the lake house in an airplane. So you know what I'm talking about.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, I've been driving ever since. Cause I got so mad about that.

[Adam Scott]

Oh my gosh. It's incredibly, incredibly infuriating. But also scary.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, absolutely. You're not close to the ground at all. You're way up there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, man was never meant to Play God.

[Adam Scott]

Like, when you're up in an airplane, it's completely different from being in a car.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a car with wings. And that's something that I don't even want to think about in my America.

[Adam Scott]

Well, if you had a car and it had wings on it, you'd be like, saying to yourself, like, why does this thing have wings?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's like, flap, flap, flap. Go fly away, car.

[Adam Scott]

What, am I gonna go shit on someone's head?

[Scott Aukerman]

Seriously. What am I gonna go drive and land on a statue or something? It's like. It doesn't make any sense, right?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, but you should shit on somebody's head, man, and send a message.

[Adam Scott]

I would love to shit on someone's head. That's what it really comes down to.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. In planes. You can't put ice in the toilets in planes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That ice is really melting, by the way, I have to say. Oh, yeah, You've been here.

[Adam Scott]

There's a lot of precipitation coming out the sides of that container.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, I pissed in it right before I came in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Why are you carrying a bucket that you pissed in of ice?

[Randy Snuts]

I don't know. It's like a calling card, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's true. Yeah. It kind of announces what you do and who you are.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Remember Home Alone? They were the wet bandits.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

You know, and me, I carry around a bucket full of ice that I pissed in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone once told me, never do a reference unless you can make a second reference. So I would love to hear a second reference to Home Alone.

[Randy Snuts]

To Home Alone. Okay. Yeah, sure. All right. You know, Kevin, you know, that's pretty basic.

[Adam Scott]

I thought that was great.

[Randy Snuts]

Thank you.

[Adam Scott]

All right, now, who said that about the references?

[Scott Aukerman]

This guy. This guy who came in. This guy, Don Darling, who did the show about a month ago, anyway, but.

[Randy Snuts]

Sounds like a pretty cool dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

He does.

[Randy Snuts]

That guy sounds like a kick ass dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but that's all you got, is Kevin.

[Randy Snuts]

No, I got a ton more. Okay, like, dude, quit grilling me. Like, I want to see Adam shit on your head now, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's true.

[Randy Snuts]

You're gonna keep sassing me like that. I want to see Hot load sitting on the top of your head. I want to put a hat on it, too. And I want you to pull it off and scratch your head and put your hand in his shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess maybe like, if it were a stovepipe, it would, you know, like, well, he's.

[Randy Snuts]

He's not gonna balance this shit long. Like lengthwise. Lengthwise on your Head.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a game of Jenga or something. It's just, like, stacked up there.

[Randy Snuts]

Just one Jenga thing standing up long wise. No, I got a ton of. Dude, I got a ton of Home Alone references. I saw that thing in June in theaters.

[Adam Scott]

Wait, this past June?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, this past June.

[Scott Aukerman]

You went to a theater to see this? Was this on your own portable device?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was the real movie playing?

[Randy Snuts]

The real movie that was playing?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Let's see. In June, it was. Oh. Oh, I know this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you know this.

[Adam Scott]

The overnight.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, it was the overnight.

[Scott Aukerman]

That film there that Adam was so upset about. Tell me you love me showing a fake penis that he decided to show his real penises.

[Randy Snuts]

That's when I pulled out my own device and started watching Home Alone again. Oh, I'm not dealing with this fake penis. I need real.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that was his real peen.

[Adam Scott]

That was a real dick. And in Home Alone.

[Randy Snuts]

Jesus Christ, that was a nice dick.

[Adam Scott]

In Home Alone, there's a bunch of real dicks as well, right? Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, absolutely. When Daniel Stern pulls out. When Daniel Stern first is alone in.

[Scott Aukerman]

The van, he's like, these guys are Home alone. I'm finally alone in this van.

[Randy Snuts]

Time to crank.

[Adam Scott]

Crank. Crank, Crank, crank, crank. Cr.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cr.

[Randy Snuts]

Crank. The way that he jerks off sounds like a car motor turning over.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

It's so weird that people never talk about that scene.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a strange scene, but it's a holiday classic.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

No, I mean, and then the mom yells, kevin. And he blows his load all over the inside of the windshield. They don't have wipers for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, and he has ghost come all over his face. Well, I know that.

[Randy Snuts]

You know that. I never saw that until you can.

[Adam Scott]

See it in movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

In movies. Oh, yeah. It's mainly in movies.

[Adam Scott]

And who had the most ghost cum on their face in Home Alone?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, in Home Alone. Oh, okay. Well, Kevin, obviously.

[Randy Snuts]

That's why she yells at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was Michael Jackson's cum from after he died. He went back in time and did it in Home Alone.

[Adam Scott]

So if there's real cum on someone's face when they die, it turns into ghost Cummings.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Yeah. See, it all makes sense. It's like a magic mailbox of cum.

[Adam Scott]

Sure, sure.

[Randy Snuts]

And that guy salting the streets, he blows his load a ton in that movie and he's like, Kevin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Anyway, all great references.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Scott]

You mean the old man with the. With the thing? The guy that ends up being kind of the hero of the film.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Remember when he's like, fuller, go easy on the Pepsi, and then he blows his load.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep, all good. References. Well, I think you have a case.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, right. So the lake house is based off my movie. Anybody?

[Scott Aukerman]

Your movie? Wait, you made a movie about this?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, well, the movie of my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sure, but you made a movie?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, I made. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Scott]

So you made, like, a biopic of yourself?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, I made it off my MyTouch. My T. Mobile. MyTouch phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, great. How'd it come out?

[Randy Snuts]

Pretty terrible. It's really grainy.

[Scott Aukerman]

How long is it?

[Randy Snuts]

A minute and a half.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I want to see this thing.

[Adam Scott]

That's a quick biography.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you play it for us?

[Randy Snuts]

Sure. I just got to log into my MySpace account.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, no problem. We have nothing but time.

[Randy Snuts]

It's down. My MySpace account only has some of my recorded cover songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, that's too bad. Well, when we come back from break, I want you to play this thing.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, well, while we're on break, if anybody wants to help fill this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no problem. Yeah, I definitely do. And now we know Adam will.

[Adam Scott]

I can really smell it. And right now, your pee mixing with that ice is really creating a bit of an odor.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah. I made myself a spinach turmeric smoothie before I came here.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back here. And Adam has some biz, a little. Little biz he's taking care of on the old smartphone.

[Adam Scott]

You know, the thing about having a smartphone these days, Scott, is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I know.

[Adam Scott]

It's like carrying around an office with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

An office right in your pocket.

[Adam Scott]

You can always be working. The drawback, the average work time, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, when do you clock out?

[Adam Scott]

Stretches into nine, 10pm But a smartphone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is almost like a little tiny cubicle that you can put around yourself and just get down to biz. You know what I mean?

[Randy Snuts]

I'm carrying around my office right now, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's really starting to smell. Yeah, it's really bad.

[Adam Scott]

Why didn't you just run to the restroom? Why did you have to pee into the bucket?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's right here, you know? I mean, the restroom is, you know, three buildings away because we don't like people going to the restroom around here.

[Randy Snuts]

Do. Domio's is, like, two miles away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I thought about that. I did. It was really tempting. Plus, I have, you know, a nice T bone here.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, that'd be great. We'd have to sear it first Though, on the hood of my car, it runs hot.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on with your car? It's overheating a lot.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah, it's a real bad seat.

[Scott Aukerman]

What kind of car do you have?

[Randy Snuts]

I got 89 Camaro.

[Scott Aukerman]

89. Wow. That's a great year for Camaros.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Pretty old car at this point. No wonder it's running hot.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, it's running real hot. I've never put oil into it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, it needs some.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think a real simple solution for that. Just put some oil in that bad boy.

[Adam Scott]

Did you ever throw any water into the old radiator?

[Randy Snuts]

Sometimes I throw ice on the top and I piss on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, see, that's just as good.

[Adam Scott]

No, not at all. It's actually, if you don't put water in the radiator and, like Scott said, oil into the engine, your car is not going to work.

[Randy Snuts]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, we got car talk over here. You know what I mean?

[Adam Scott]

That's just basic common sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, car talk. You want to take some calls?

[Adam Scott]

Sure. I mean, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's take some calls. Here we go. Is this car talk?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, this is car talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, I got a car, and I want to talk about it.

[Adam Scott]

Uh, sure. What's your question? I don't have a question. I just want to talk about my car. Okay. What kind of car you got?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a 2020 Prius.

[Adam Scott]

A 2020 Prius.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a magic mailbox situation. Someone mailed it to me.

[Adam Scott]

Okay. Listen, what you're gonna want Baba Bowie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ha, Fuck you.

[Adam Scott]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, that guy was rude.

[Adam Scott]

Being a radio host is tough.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's tough these days with the Baba Booie situation going on.

[Adam Scott]

It's rampant. Baba Booie everywhere.

[Randy Snuts]

Can't believe how long he talked before he dropped the baba buoy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he really lulled us into a false sense of security and Baba Booie. Yeah. Wait, did you come on this show just to say baba Booie?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man.

[Adam Scott]

This whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

This whole thing was just Randy Snuts. You just wanted to say baba booie? Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

This isn't even my piss.

[Adam Scott]

What? What? Whose pee is it?

[Randy Snuts]

Some guy right outside. I was like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you walking so fast? And the guy's. Yeah, that's a good start.

[Scott Aukerman]

No more details needed.

[Randy Snuts]

All right. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Well, we have to get to our next guest. Says here is a. He's a podcast guest. Oh, that's an interesting. Interesting.

[Adam Scott]

Like a professional podcast or just a.

[Scott Aukerman]

I Guess what it means is he's a guest on this podcast that's interesting.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Okay, I'm going to be filming my podcast, FRD Sequel Italy. Alexia, your microphone is available. I'm Tibo Lebo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I was about to announce you. Thibaut Labo. Please.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Thibaut Labo. I'm the undisputed king of your trash. Luxury clubs, yachts, Mykonos. We do it all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy.

[Adam Scott]

Sorry, what? What's his name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Thibaut LeBeau.

[Adam Scott]

Thibaut LeBeau. Is that your real name?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Thibault LeBeau? Yes, of course it's my real name. Adam Scott. Is that your real name?

[Adam Scott]

Well, yeah. I mean, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never asked you that before. Is that your real name?

[Adam Scott]

Of course it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never changed your name for the biz?

[Adam Scott]

I almost did at one point, but I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, what did you almost change it?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

What did you go to change to? Adams?

[Adam Scott]

I almost changed it to Adam Cordero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you really?

[Adam Scott]

You did?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why, you fucking piece of shit.

[Adam Scott]

I was like 18 years old and I thought it sounded cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam Scott is classic. You have what every man desires, two first names.

[Adam Scott]

Thank you very much.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't know. Kind of prefer Adam Cardero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, of course. You're like Thibaut.

[Adam Scott]

Confirmation that I made the right choice.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Adam Cordero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello, Thibaut. Welcome to the show. I'm Scott. This is Scott. And of course, Randy Snuts. Who? I don't even know if you work for Dodomeos.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, dude, I absolutely do. Well, I mean, I deliver ice, and then I put them in the urinals, and then I gtfo.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Wait, Dadomia, the place. You need to cook your own food.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Yeah. Didomio is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, do you cook more than beef there? Can you cook anything there?

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, it's byo. Whatever.

[Adam Scott]

Like, do you have to sear everything before you bring it in or.

[Randy Snuts]

Absolutely, dude.

[Adam Scott]

Like, even broccoli, if I wanted broccoli.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't just come in there with raw broccoli.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, so you sear the broccoli. This sounds like a giant pain in the ass, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so. I mean, if you have a nice chef's kitchen at home.

[Adam Scott]

Well, okay, what if you don't?

[Randy Snuts]

Then, like, don't go to Dodomio's. It's that simple.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't spend the 300 bucks at Didomio's. Then just stay in your own shitty house.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, okay.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I'll go to Katsuya. I go to Katsuya. Any boutique hotel. They're the best restaurants.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

You guys stay in boutique hotel?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you know, I don't know. We actually do.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Adam Cordero would have stayed in a boutique hotel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he probably would.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Adam Scott probably stay in Best Western.

[Adam Scott]

No, no, I've stayed.

[Scott Aukerman]

True. I like this guy now.

[Adam Scott]

No, I've stayed in nice hotels.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh, yeah? What hotel you stay in? The Double Three, Double the fun. Go fuck yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like this guy. I like you.

[Adam Scott]

I didn't even like you. Anything just sitting here.

[Scott Aukerman]

This guy sucks.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Let me guess. You put sunscreen on.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't put sunscreen on.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh, man. I let the sun put the screening on me.

[Adam Scott]

You will get skin cancer.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Ah, well, I don't want to talk about this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't? Wait, do you already have skin cancer?

[Adam Scott]

Totally brought it up.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I have cancer in my family. I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you could put some sunscreen on then.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

My boy can't put sunscreen on. Lymph.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have lymphoma.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't have lymphoma, but lymphoma and my family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Scott]

That's so sad. I'm sorry.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

It's okay, though. We go to clubs tonight. We go to 1Oak. I don't even wait in line. We are going to get the sparklers. We are going to have the best time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Hey, Thibault, tell me about your life. What is. I mean, you're. You say you're the undisputed king of.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

What is this now? The undisputed king of Euro Trash. Follow me, Thibaut Labor. Undisputed king of Eurotrash.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that's too long for tobacco.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't have any room to write messages. But I follow back and my life is at.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you part of Team Follow Back?

[Adam Scott]

What?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

That's the only team to be a part of, you know, to follow back.

[Adam Scott]

So you just follow people? You don't tweet messages?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't have enough room. I have one letter.

[Scott Aukerman]

After you do the undisputed king of your.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Drag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You only have one character left.

[Adam Scott]

Maybe you could come up with an abbreviation or something so you can tweet.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh, I'm getting name advice from Adam Caldell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Put a lid on it, Cordero. Okay.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

All right, Mr. Caldello. What should that change my name to?

[Adam Scott]

I was thought maybe someone like you would like to tweet out, you know, messages of some sort to your. To your followers. But if you don't, that's fine.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

They know. They know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he knows what he's doing. He's the undisputed king.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

That's why I started a podcast. To have a place to talk about luxury, to talk about boutique hotel, to talk about the art, to talk about.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a podcast? Is that what you're saying?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I'm starting a podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're starting one. Oh, okay. I would love to bid on this. I'd love to, first of all, represent you, Randy. A little later.

[Randy Snuts]

Thanks, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you even have a case? Or did you? Or was that all a lie? Just to say Ba ba booie.

[Randy Snuts]

Busted. Ba ba booie.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'm not gonna be alone.

[Adam Scott]

So your life wasn't the lake house?

[Randy Snuts]

No, but I mean, in the sense that, like, everybody's life is kind of like the lake house if they use the post office, you know, It's a good point.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Anyway, you're not here to say baba Booie, are you?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't even know why this is Baba boy. Okay, okay. I'm here to tell you that I am going to start a podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'd love to bid on it. I'd love to be part of my network here.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't need you to bid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I'm Thibaut Le Bo. I have enough money to buy. I bid on your podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have. Wait, are you part of the top 1% of the top 1% as well?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't even show you. All my money is. They don't even know it's hidden offshore.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is your podcast? What is the title of it?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

It's called at TiVo Le Beau, the Undisputed King of Eurotra.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, okay.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

It is going to be a great podcast about living life of luxury, of going to club, of dating, you know, mothers and princess.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you date a lot of supermodels even, or just models?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Super El dupel Model.

[Scott Aukerman]

Super dup. That's a category that I have never even heard of.

[Adam Scott]

I've heard of supermodels.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Let's list them off.

[Adam Scott]

Sure. Cindy Crawford.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, classic that mole.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, sure. She's beautiful.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I piss on her, you piss on her.

[Adam Scott]

Piss on her.

[Randy Snuts]

Whoa, dude, don't do that. Piss on a bucket of ice. Friggin creep.

[Adam Scott]

I've noticed that your answer to most questions is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, what is that about? Are you scoffing at us?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

No, but it's just a psh. You know, it's. Sometimes you say something, I listen, and it comes out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Sometimes out of my, you know, however hole, I have a little bit of A sure. Is it similar to that or.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

No. You guys don't even know. You live on a different plane of the reality.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean your life seems incredible. Clubs, clubs. You ever been to Hakkasan?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Hakkasan is the best.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see billboards for it everywhere.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Hakasan is the best.

[Adam Scott]

What is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it somewhere in Las Vegas?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh, it's the best club in Vegas. Tiesto was just there.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like Steve Aoki billboard.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Steve is a friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Steve is a friend. That does not surprise me.

[Adam Scott]

So since we live in a completely different, different reality and there's no way we will ever touch. Yeah, whatever it is. You're listening to your reality. What are you doing here?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Okay, listen. You know how you guys are waiting in the line for the club all the time?

[Adam Scott]

That's one of my constantly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every week it takes up so much time. It's like nine hours waiting in line for this club.

[Adam Scott]

It's always worth it though. Once you get in, of course I'm.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

The guy who pulls up in the Diablo and just get up door like this and get out.

[Adam Scott]

You get to go into the club ahead of the line.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you ever close that door to the Diablo or do you. Does the door remain open? Because that's kind of like a car.

[Adam Scott]

Don't even know you. Don't even know. You just walk in the club.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those Diablo doors that go up, that's kind of like a car with wings in a way, you know, which is.

[Adam Scott]

Completely unnecessary because it's not going to fly.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not going to fly away.

[Adam Scott]

Why do you have a car with wings, Tebow?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Well, you know, I have a plane with wings. I have a car with wing. I have a yacht between.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your yacht has wings.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

The door to open the yacht, it goes up like me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? The door to open the yacht. Wow, that's amazing.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Have you ever been on a yacht, Mr. Alkerman?

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me think. Can I check my calendar?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Have you ever been on a yacht, Mr. Cordero?

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't checked my. This guy just moves on to Scott over here. Yeah, I'm opening up my ical.

[Adam Scott]

I think I have been on a yacht actually. Sure. Maybe not one as luxurious as what you've been on.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

How many feet was this yacht, Mr. Cordero?

[Adam Scott]

And man. Mr. Scott, I don't man. I have no idea how many feet it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

The minute you got on it you didn't like pace out the feet.

[Adam Scott]

What do you do you ask the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Person stern to not stem. What's the opposite Of Stern bow.

[Adam Scott]

It's a bow baba buoy. Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you've only been doing this?

[Adam Scott]

This is all so I can say baba buoy? All of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the long con.

[Adam Scott]

Yep. Oh, my God. What's it been, like, six years since I first appeared?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Scott]

Wow. Baba bui ba buoy. Howard Stur's penis bubble baba buoy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fucking got me, I gotta admit. Wow.

[Randy Snuts]

Dropping the baba buoy. Hammer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this is a terrible day for me.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

This baba bui. What is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a thing. Howard Stern. Do you know Howard Stern? It's probably not the kind of thing you'd be interested. It's not like, you know Tiesto, or.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Is it like, Paul Van Dyke?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, it's not like that. He's a dj, but he's not like, you know, Calvin Harris or anything like that.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

You know Calvin?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I know. Well, I mean, I don't know him personally.

[Adam Scott]

Are you friends with Calvin Harris?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

He's a friend. You know, on. On all my friends are birthday, I tweet out the first initial of their.

[Adam Scott]

Name because you only have one. So.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

June 28th.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, so. And he sees that. No pun intended. He sees.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he knows it's about him.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you like this?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like this.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

This is good.

[Adam Scott]

I feel like that's the first. The first thing you've kind of clicked into with Scott or I is when he made that joke about C. Well.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we were making fun of you earlier. I like that.

[Adam Scott]

That's true. That's true. You did very much click into that.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

And let me tell you, on your birthday, I'm also going to put a C for Cordero.

[Adam Scott]

Cordero actually starts with a Q, just so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait. Oh, this gets worse and fucking worse.

[Adam Scott]

My mother's maiden name is Corduraro, so I was shortening it to sound more cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So it was like a Nick Cage situation where you want.

[Adam Scott]

You were Nick Cage?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know Nic Cage? No.

[Adam Scott]

Who's that?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's.

[Adam Scott]

Oh. Because his last name was Coppola.

[Scott Aukerman]

Coppola.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But he was cheap.

[Adam Scott]

I wasn't trying to hide an incredibly famous name in the film industry. I was just trying to shorten a long name.

[Randy Snuts]

So how would you have spelled Cordero, then?

[Adam Scott]

Q, U, P, F, T, Q, U, A, R, D, E, R, O. Cordero.

[Randy Snuts]

I didn't hear. I didn't hear any of that. Someone was dropping some lethal butt.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, yeah, sorry, Tebow, there is a microphone down at your butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should know that every c. Yeah, Thibaut. You know, over at Dodomeo's, we grill up our own T bones. And your name is Thibaut. Care to comment?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Mm. You know, I get this a lot. I bet I get this a lot. Cause, you know, in America, you say tibon, people think, ah, tibon.

[Scott Aukerman]

And today, well, we are a meat and potatoes country. Tell me about, you know, what do you eat when you go to the restaurants? And, like, what kind of food do you have?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

A lot of sashimi.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of sashimi. Do you have mercury poisoning?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

A lot of. I. Well, I. I'd rather not discuss.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. You don't want to discuss.

[Adam Scott]

So you have mercury, poison and lymphoma.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Okay, again, this is not about me.

[Adam Scott]

Are you dying? Oh, my God, Scott, he's breaking down.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wasn't prepared.

[Adam Scott]

I, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You shouldn't ask a question if you're not prepared for the answer. And I. Oh, my God. Are you all right?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Adam Scott]

Why do you think he's come over here?

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me pat you on the back.

[Adam Scott]

Melsy.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Melzy. Melsy.

[Adam Scott]

Is that why you have I.V. with you?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

That is a great beat, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it like 160bpm or something? Yeah. Why do I notice you brought it in an IV bag?

[Adam Scott]

And you have.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yes, and I don't have any hair. This was not a choice.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're wearing a hospital gown. I didn't want to bring it up. I just thought these were, like, cool clothes or something like that.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Thibaut is falling on some very tough times.

[Adam Scott]

So sorry.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

And you know, it is all coming at the same time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry this is hitting you right now.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I just. I have Kleinfelter syndrome.

[Adam Scott]

What?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I have lupus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that sounds terrible. I don't even know what that is. Oh, lupus. Lupus. That's interesting how they pronounce it. Lupus.

[Adam Scott]

It sounds beautiful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Sounds like a dessert. Dessert?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, a little hair pie. Dessert.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

It doesn't lepoose.

[Randy Snuts]

Hell yeah, dude. Don't be afraid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Real high fiving me.

[Randy Snuts]

Sorry, dude. Real men. Real men. Do it, man. Real men. Get down there.

[Adam Scott]

Get down where?

[Randy Snuts]

You know, dude, lapoose.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stop high vibing, Adam, now, could you.

[Adam Scott]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Dude, you loved it.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I.

[Scott Aukerman]

We were trying. We're trying to listen to this guy's.

[Randy Snuts]

Diseases, and we're sorry, dude. Yeah, I got off track.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, stop talking about lapoose. Anyway, what else do you have?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Baba booie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shut up. God, dad, it's not the place. He's telling us he's dying.

[Adam Scott]

Sorry.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

God, no, forget it, Forget it.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, tell us about the rest of your day.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

No, he's going to just say baba boo.

[Adam Scott]

And he's going, I got it in. I'm sorry.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Mesothelioma.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Do you have ghost common cold?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I have ghost calm. I do not have ghost code.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't want to say you have the most out of anyone in this room.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Is that so?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it is bad.

[Adam Scott]

You've probably been wanting to say something this whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I have. He looks like Rorschach from the Watchmen. It's incredible. And I can make other references to that, by the way. Neither.

[Adam Scott]

One more. One more Watchmen reference right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you got the times, they are changing. That's that shitty song that he plays.

[Adam Scott]

That was in the movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that was in the movie, right? You got the dead dog anyway.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Tay Sachs disease.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tay Sachs disease.

[Adam Scott]

Wow, this is incred.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that's. That is rare. Dude, stop high fiving him about Tay Sachs disease.

[Randy Snuts]

He said sex, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's true. I'll give you one.

[Randy Snuts]

Hell yeah, Scott. Adam?

[Adam Scott]

Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. We're talking laus. We're talking Tay Sachs. We're slamming it.

[Adam Scott]

How about taste sacks?

[Scott Aukerman]

How about just taste sex?

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, taste the sex.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, get my reed wet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. He's really. He's crying right now.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

So, anyway, I'm going to be dead probably in five to 10 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you recording a podcast or are you recording your last will and testament?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Well, that is why I came here, because my lawyer couldn't fit me in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Scott]

Sounds like you have a lot of valuable possessions you would need to.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, if you need a new lawyer, it sounds like you don't have much time on this earth, but I'd love to represent you tonight.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Are you a lawyer?

[Scott Aukerman]

I will be tonight.

[Adam Scott]

I don't think he's gonna be here tonight, buddy.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't know. Prove to me that you're going to be a lawyer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Avis corpus, ipso facto.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

He's a lawyer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

God, you know what? He's not.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

This was fate, Scott. This is fate that I come here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Let me pre law you a little bit here. Like, I'm not a lawyer yet, but I think that once I pass the bar, I can just backdate it it or post date it, I think is the proper way to say that. Okay, so I'll do whatever you want to do. Who are your loved ones out there? Who do you love? Bo Diddley once asked that Famously.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who do you love?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Okay. You know, I already did. I mentioned Tiesto.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, you did mention Tiesto.

[Adam Scott]

All of these DJs.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yeah.

[Adam Scott]

Should we just list the DJs and you? We can just put them on your will.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Most of them I'm friends with. You know, just house music. Buddha Bar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's that?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Buddha Bar is a hotel in Paris. They have also a club and also they put out an album every year.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you want to leave some of your money to them?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yeah, I want to give. I want to give them.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much money do you have? What is the total sum of your estate?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Well, I only. Okay. I have euros only.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Well, I can transfer that or convert in my head. So how many euros do you have?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

€15,000.

[Adam Scott]

Okay, let's say we cash in your private jets and your expensive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the yachts and all that. Do you own any of those?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I had to sell them all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

To pay for my medical bill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. So you only have the total sum of your estate at this point is €15,000.

[Adam Scott]

So that's like $30,000. Is that $20,000 somewhere in there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

This is embarrassing. You know, I didn't want to talk about number on the air.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. I mean, you're the undisputed king of Euro trash.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I have an image to a bold.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you want to leave your $20,000 or so to these famous DJs?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yeah, mostly to t. Mostly.

[Adam Scott]

But they have so much money. Those guys make. They make tons of money.

[Scott Aukerman]

$2 million anytime they press play.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let alone stop or pause. I hate it when a DJ presses pause in the middle of his set. It's like, just play through. It's like a golf game when I'm too slow. Just play through.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Play through.

[Scott Aukerman]

Play through. Play through. That's why I'm shouting at Tiesto all the time. He gets really annoyed. He has a restraining order against me.

[Adam Scott]

Tiesto?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So I may not be able to serve him these papers.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Well, he has a restraining order other against me too.

[Scott Aukerman]

He does?

[Adam Scott]

But I thought you guys were friends.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

That was the whole reason I came. To get someone else who can go and serve. Adam Cordero.

[Adam Scott]

Ah, man. I have a Cordero.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I need you to. Adam Cordero. Cordero.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's Adam.

[Adam Scott]

It's not my name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Darrow.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Wait. It's pronounced Cordero, but it's spelled Quardero. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Q, U, A.

[Scott Aukerman]

What an interesting guy. I want to learn more about him. Oh, I'm gonna watch one of his movies.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

You would have been hired for Every diversity role in Hollywood. If you were Adam Cordero with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beard, you might still.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh la la.

[Adam Scott]

You know, I have a. You need this done tonight, Adam.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I need you to go to Hakasan in Vegas tonight.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, Jesus. You know, I have a bit. I have plans tonight.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

It's not even a briefcase full of money. It's just a coin pouch with a check in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he has plans. He was gonna sit his kids down.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Push him around those wheelchairs.

[Adam Scott]

I was gonna tell him about how I went Scott and I just like fucked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, listen, well, that can wait. That can wait. We gotta help this guy.

[Adam Scott]

I can do this one favor for you since you're gonna pass away in a matter of minutes. What is it? You want me.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, you've wet yourself.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the front of your hospital gown is.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I don't have a bladder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we have a bucket right here. You could have gone in.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Come on, dude. I'm waiting to fill this up.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I should have thought about this. Yeah, he literally, he has a T shirt on that says pee in my bucket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wait a minute. Is this the guy that you took the bucket from outside?

[Randy Snuts]

Oh my God. I didn't even recognize.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh my God. You're that guy.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, sorry. Jesus. I was running, I was wearing sunglasses and.

[Adam Scott]

Oh.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

And I was wearing my gown, but a lot of people wear the gown outside.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, dude, we're cool. I already got your piss in this bucket.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Randy.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

You want to do me a favor?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

All right, Randy.

[Randy Snuts]

Uh huh.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I want you to take this coin pouch with a check with €15,000 to Calvin Harris in Hakazan.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, so now I don't have to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're let off the hook. Okay. What about the bucket?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Do you want to go tell his children that he.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fuck yeah. Yeah, he's got a good excuse. If you were to tell that to a judge, a jury, or an executioner, he would let you off.

[Adam Scott]

Sure. Well, not the executioner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, maybe not. What about the bucket? Do you want him to take the bucket as well?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Take the bucket.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, thank God.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Dude takes the bucket.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm driving. I'm not flying. They won't let me check this.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Get Calvin Harris to pee in the bucket. And then I want you to cremate me. And then I want you to pour Kevin Harris's urine and ice on top of my ashes.

[Randy Snuts]

This is a dream come true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Randy Snuts]

I thought I was just coming for a podcast, but you thought you were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just going to say baba booie.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Adam Scott]

You have a full list of tasks I do.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you can do it, though. This is what I'll tell you if anyone can. I believe in you.

[Randy Snuts]

Thank you, guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Guy I just met.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, I appreciate it, all right. But Randy Snuts is someone that you can trust. And Tebow, I want to let you know from the bottom of my heart that no matter what happens on my adventure, to deliver this to Calvin Harris. Bye. Bye, Bowie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, motherfucker. God damn it.

[Randy Snuts]

Hell yeah, dudes.

[Adam Scott]

Hell yeah.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

It was my last wish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, now you're about to die, right? Oh, you look like you're fading.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Oh, man, I don't feel so good.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, no. Is this happening here in this?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's happening. Oh, my God. Is there anything we can do with you? Do you want me to hold your hand?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I just want to say one last thing before I go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, anything. Go ahead.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Robin.

[Adam Scott]

Robin.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

That's. Isn't that. That's another person from the Harrisdale.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Robin Quivers.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I thought that's what we are doing. Just name people from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you came on this just to say Robin Quivers.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

[Adam Scott]

What are we gonna do with this body, you guys?

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll just put it on Todd's body.

[Adam Scott]

We can also just put it on ice.

[Randy Snuts]

It's not just ice.

[Scott Aukerman]

My nephew Todd's over there. We'll just stack him up, okay? Yeah, don't worry about it.

[Adam Scott]

I didn't even notice there was another body in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he passed away a little while ago. Well, all right. I guess there's only one thing to do, and that's our final feature on the show. It's a little something called plugs.

[Adam Scott]

Now it's time for. Now it's time for. Now it's time for a little deco.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ooh, nice and short. I.

[Adam Scott]

Very nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I appreciate that. Did we cut it off at all? No, that was it. All right. I appreciate that. That's Joe Blankenship. Hey, Joe. That's called Time for plugs. Nice, short, sweet, to the point. I like it. Had a wonderful melody.

[Adam Scott]

I liked it very much.

[Scott Aukerman]

The most beautiful melody I've ever heard. I believe I burped right in the middle of that word. All right, guys, what are we plugging? Adam, what do you got? What's happening?

[Adam Scott]

Nothing right now. I guess I would plug just stuff that's out on, like, itunes and stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go watch the Overnight. It's a good film.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, Overnight. How much Sleeping with other people.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much. How much Is it to rent the overnight? Like, say it's three bucks.

[Adam Scott]

The overnight is now on Netflix, so you can just go watch it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just go watch it. How much do you get in the back end? Or did they give you all the money up front?

[Adam Scott]

Who? Netflix? Yeah, yeah. They just give you money and then.

[Scott Aukerman]

They just give you money? There's no backend on it?

[Adam Scott]

I don't think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you don't care if they watch it or not?

[Adam Scott]

No, other than it enriching their lives.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it's not enriching your pocketbook, so what do you care?

[Adam Scott]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much money did you make on that film? In euros?

[Adam Scott]

We made a couple thousand euros.

[Scott Aukerman]

Couple thou. Not bad. Not bad. So go watch the overnight. Go watch Krampus. It's probably rentable at this point.

[Adam Scott]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Krampus hot tub.

[Adam Scott]

Krampus is a really fun movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

HGTM2 is out there constantly. It's never going to go away. That's not disappearing a la ratatouille from your IMDb page.

[Adam Scott]

It's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, we talked about that before the show. I thought it was a callback, but it's a callback to a conversation. All right, Randy, what do you have to plug here?

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, other than coming to check me out and tip me at Dodomio's. A good friend of mine named Tim Baltz is gonna help.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a friend?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where'd you know him from?

[Randy Snuts]

Basically just his Twitter presence where he retweets, like, fun articles that his friends have tagged him in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds good.

[Randy Snuts]

Imbalt.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta follow this guy.

[Randy Snuts]

But he's coming out. He's gonna be in a show on ciso, which is NBC Digital's platform called bajillion dollar properties. So look for that. That's gonna be a great show with some great people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that sounds like a fun show.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, hey, I'm on that too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think you're on the first episode.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah, I'll plug that as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. You came by and did the episode of that? I have. I think I'm on that too.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah. Hey, guys.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Holy. You're not going to believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. You're alive.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

What? Well, for the plug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Wait, you're gonna die right after the plug.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Of course.

[Adam Scott]

Welcome back.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are we not gonna believe?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

I was going to plug a friend of mine who's also going to be on the CISO show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's this friend?

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Great guy. His name is Dana Dutt. Make sure. That on March 29th you tweet a letter D. D. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just a tiny D. What about a picture of a D? A dick Isello, like the eggplant emoji.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

There's room if there's room if you have the characters to afford. I don't. He does. His Twitter is at standupdan Stand up Dan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because he's a stand up as well. Stand up comedy funny improviser and actor funny guy.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Going to be on siso bajillion dollar property.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this is amazing.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Unbelievable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Four people.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Unbelief.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I will not. Oh, my God. He died again. And he's farting while he's. That's sometimes. Sometimes the body does that. It just, you know, uncontrollably farts.

[Adam Scott]

His farts are just dismissive gestures, just scoffing noises. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to plug. Yeah. Bajillion is coming out soon in March and comedy bang bang TV show, of course, coming out soon. We got Weird Al as our new band leader. We're filming that right now. And that's going to be fun. So let's close up the old plug bag. Go listen to some plugs. Going to listen to some plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. Gonna let my info out. Gonna get my j.

[Adam Scott]

Listen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Talk about it. Talk about my job. Plugs. Gonna listen to some plugs. All right, guys, this was a fun episode. I want to thank my guests. Of course Tebow's dead, which is too bad. But it's t bad.

[Adam Scott]

He died with a smile on his face.

[Scott Aukerman]

He did. And constantly farting. Listen to him. Jesus. Wow, Randy, thanks to you, I guess. I don't know why I'm thanking you. You were pranking me. I'm thanking for pranking.

[Randy Snuts]

I got some good information out there. Use your power, guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'm back. Oh, my God.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

Just fell the sinks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, thank you. Thank you so much.

[Thibaut LeBeau]

You're welcome.

[Adam Scott]

Oh, my God. This guy is breaking medical records.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's three times or twice he came back to life. Three times he died. And Adam, thank you so much.

[Adam Scott]

Thank you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great.

[Adam Scott]

It was a pleasure to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

And of course, we want to give a shout out to our good friend Harris. It's been a year at this point. It seems weird to give a shout out.

[Adam Scott]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But hey, he's listening. I think he might be listening. I'd like to imagine a heaven where his only entertainment is listening to this episode for eternity. And he's. You know, if anyone is out there putting ghost gum on people's faces, it's him.

[Adam Scott]

It's Harris Whittles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alright, thanks, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye.