Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: Be My Guest, Literally!"

Podcast Summary & Detailed Breakdown

Podcast: Comedy Bang Bang
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests/Characters: Michael Abelson, Paul F. Tompkins (as Werner Herzog/Santa Claus), Andy Daly (as Jean Claude Pepit), Lauren Lapkus (as Ho Ho the Elf)
Date: Originally aired March 9, 2015; re-released December 4, 2025

Overview

This “Bonus Bang” episode—part of the “Yo Yo, It’s Santa and Ho Ho” series—features a one-of-a-kind guest: Michael Abelson, the only fan ever to appear via an Indiegogo donation to Kulap Vilaysack’s “Origin Story” documentary. Abelson handpicked a cast of CBB favorites for a Goldberg-ian holiday mashup, joining in-studio legends Paul F. Tompkins (as Werner Herzog and Santa Claus), Andy Daly (as French actor Jean Claude Pepit), and Lauren Lapkus (as the infamous, genderless Ho Ho the Elf).

What follows is a surreal, densely packed, and riotously silly conversation involving satire, games, mockery of guest bios, faux European cinema, deeply warped Christmas mythos, and a series of unruly improv set pieces. Buckle up—CBB at its most unfiltered.

Key Discussion Points & Episode Flow

1. Intro & Set-up (03:46–06:00)

Scott Aukerman lays out the episode premise: Michael Abelson “paid for” his spot, picked his favorite CBB “murderers’ row” of guests.
Immediate banter between Scott and Werner Herzog (Paul F. Tompkins) on internet anonymity kicks off the show’s antic, rapid-fire tone.

Notable Quote:

“I play for keeps. Sometimes for crepes, occasionally for canapes, but mostly for keeps.” — Scott Aukerman (03:46)

2. Werner Herzog’s Imaginary Comedy Career (06:00–13:19)

"Werner" describes his new (fake) Comedy Central show: Kroll Show, Still.
Werner unveils his “celebrity impressions”—from Jimmy Cagney to Honey Boo Boo to a genderless being from the future (with computer noises).

Notable Sequence:

“Bleep, bloop, blarp, bloop.” — Werner Herzog, as “the celebrity from the future” (11:30)

3. Michael Abelson as Actual Guest (15:11–24:59)

Michael Abelson is introduced: actual English-born, Harvard-educated New York corporate litigator, now in the Comedy Bang Bang circle of trust.
Explains his Indiegogo donation; insists he’s “not good with money.”
Scott and Werner needle him about the morality of defending “faceless conglomerates,” and Abelson ironically claims, “I provide a voice to the voiceless.”
Abelson reminisces about family U.S. road trips, lists states, continues being a very good sport.

Memorable Exchanges:

“Any white guy you meet may be a birthday boy.” — Scott Aukerman (16:33)

“Oh, I provide a voice to the voiceless. I don't see anyone else stepping up to defend the investment banks.” — Michael Abelson (21:09)

4. Arrival of Ho Ho the Elf (28:25–35:45)

Enter Ho Ho the Elf (Lapkus) in high, chaotic fashion.
Digs deep into the Naughty List mythology: Ho Ho gifts bad kids “knives, shivs, and guns”—coal was too soft.
Bizarre tangents about stoning with coal and demonic Christmas origins.

Notable Dialogue:

“Bad little boys and bad little girls get knives and shivs and guns… and machetes, but those are still considered gifts.” — Ho Ho the Elf (30:06)

“Maybe what the mom ate. I haven't figured it out yet.” — Ho Ho, theorizing on what determines “bad” at birth (33:32)

5. Santa Claus Joins the Fray (36:02–40:07)

Santa Claus (Paul F. Tompkins) enters via “Skype.” Banters with Ho Ho, takes shots at Scott’s interviewing skills, expresses mixed feelings about Mrs. Claus’ attractiveness, is asked if Michael can ever get off the Naughty List (spoiler: nope).
Santa and Ho Ho riff on failed Indiegogo documentaries, personal histories, and Christmas origin stories.

Notable Quotes:

“Oh, that filthy show.” — Santa, on Comedy Bang Bang (36:28)

“One time I got stuck between her tits.” — Ho Ho, about Mrs. Claus (37:26)

6. Return to Michael Abelson’s Backstory & “Elf Rules” (40:07–46:27)

Banter explores Michael’s “naughty” credentials, suggestions of a wild, empty lifestyle as a wealthy corporate lawyer.
Ho Ho details the “bad since birth” theory, with Werner Herzog drawing theological links: “So when people pop out of the close-ups of the woman’s vagina with all the disgusting blood and everything… then the child is just naturally bad and will never change?” (33:15)

7. Sophisticated European Cinema—Meet Jean Claude Pepit (51:58–59:06)

Jean Claude Pepit (Daly) enters: a fictional, self-aggrandizing megastar of “all the times” in French cinema.
Droll conversation about celebrity, lineage, and Jean Claude’s big new project: a film entitled “Geico,” in which he plays a French waiter serving escargot to someone’s pet snail.

Notable Exchange:

“In France, I am the greatest film star of all of the times.” — Jean Claude Pepit (52:14)

8. A Play Within the Show: Nosferatu Auditions (61:11–68:23)

Werner and Jean Claude reenact their audition for Herzog's Nosferatu, complete with poor script formatting, confusing character names, and a popcorn delivery subplot.
Ho Ho and Michael take supporting roles, with constant meta-commentary and farcical breakdowns.

Highlight:

“Smash Cut 2… That’s a weird choice.” — Scott reading stage directions (64:20)

9. “The Tears of the Moon”—Another Improv Movie Pitch (69:00–74:15)

Jean Claude describes his second big film: as a pilot who tries to cheer up the moon, whose tears create the Earth’s oceans.
Werner Herzog delivers an emotional performance as the moon.
The conversation mutates into musings about periods, tides, and emotional distance.

Memorable Moment:

“I cry because the Earth… people look up at me and they become so sad because they pine for lost lovers… or they think I’m some big blob of cheese.” — Werner Herzog as the moon (72:09)

10. Ancestry & Santa Returns (75:15–79:22)

Ho Ho and Michael joke about being genetically related (“I’m three inches high”—Michael), which leads to a call to Santa Claus for genealogical clarification.
Santa, roped in, continues sarcastic rapport with the gang, especially Jean Claude Pepit.

Notable:

“There's only one alternate universe where there is no such thing as Santa Claus.” — Santa Claus (101:16)

11. Game Segments & Improvised Mayhem

Name French Actors Game (82:50–87:12)

The group plays a nonsense “Name French Actors” game, resulting in a farcical mix of real, fictional, and wordplay answers (“French kissing,” “French Stewart,” “Wee Man”).

Would You Rather (87:46–110:28)

Would you rather: “Be the best surgeon ever but bees rule the world?” or “Live in the biggest treehouse as an immortal but never leave?”
The cast hilariously derails the segment with dozens of questions about bee monarchies, queen bees wearing wigs, and Santa’s roommate situation.
Game winner: Michael Abelson (“It pays to be honest.” — Werner Herzog, 107:45)

12. Climactic “Santa Fight” & Wrap-Up (111:12–126:10)

Spirals into a fake brawl: Santa physically assaults Scott after a challenge, with Abelson offering legal counsel as Santa smacks him with dollar bills and ho ho piles on.
Werner calmly narrates: “I am recording all of this.” (113:43)
Resolution: Scott apologizes; Werner claims “litigation” as justification for not helping.

13. Plugs Segment (115:05–124:39)

Jean Claude plugs “Nothing is Good” (drama), “The Person’s Nose” (comedy), and “Geico” (meta insurance movie).
Ho Ho plugs Lapkus’s actual podcast “With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus” and Lauren’s Twitter.
Werner plugs the concept of cement and Paul F. Tompkins’ real/fake shows.
Michael Abelson gives a heartfelt shout-out to Earwolf engineers (“If you feel wronged, sue someone!” 124:21).

Additional Notable Quotes & Moments

“French Stewart—in everything French Saunders.” — Michael Abelson (85:43)
“You can kind of see your nose through your nose.” — Scott Aukerman (116:14)
“The coal stoning… about someone who is stoned to death with coal.” — Jean Claude Pepit (117:43)
“I've never established that you can't talk during the end theme. Come on.” — Scott Aukerman (110:41)

Tone & Style

Relentlessly fast-paced, absurd, digressive, and meta. The group constantly breaks the fourth wall, undercuts their own bits, and blends character improv with direct lampooning of entertainment and cultural tropes. Every participant leans into extreme character quirks (Werner’s existential gloom, Ho Ho’s gleeful depravity, Jean Claude’s pompousness), while the “straight man” Michael Abelson keeps up gamely—often himself the butt of the joke.

Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

Werner’s Future Celebrity Impression (“Bleep, bloop, blarp, bloop”) — 11:30
Ho Ho’s Christmas gift for bad kids: “Knives, shivs and guns” — 30:06
Mrs. Claus/Mrs. Claus's “private areas”: — 37:26
Jean Claude auditions for Nosferatu, together with Werner, live on air — 63:12–68:23
Would You Rather—cast derails game with questions about bee monarchies, Santa’s rent, and peanut butter — 94:02–106:10
Santa and Scott’s fake fight: “I’ll kick your fucking ass with it.” “Make sure you got your nightcap on…” — 111:41–113:12
Michael Abelson’s winning plug: “Just continue suing each other.” — 124:16

Episode Structure

[03:46–15:11] — Opening, Scott and Werner/Paul, intro to Michael Abelson
[15:11–28:25] — Michael’s bio, corporate litigator and Indiegogo details, American roadtrip stories
[28:25–36:00] — Ho Ho arrival, Christmas mythology, Santa called in
[36:00–51:58] — Naughty list theology, Michael's Americanization, Harvard banter
[51:58–61:11] — Jean Claude Pepit arrives, French acting, “Geico” movie
[61:11–74:15] — Nosferatu audition, “Tears of the Moon” film outline
[75:15–87:12] — Ancestry gags, “Name French Actors”
[87:12–110:28] — “Would You Rather”, more Santa/Ho Ho mayhem
[110:28–115:05] — Santa fight, aftermath
[115:05–124:39] — Plugs, closing thanks
[124:39–end] — Credits, Christmas outtro

For First-Time Listeners

This episode straddles classic Comedy Bang Bang chaos: part improv jam session, part meta-satire of showbiz conventions, part festival of holiday weirdness. The fan guest, Michael Abelson, gets the full “CBB” treatment—good-natured ribbing one moment, swept along in farcical world-building the next. If you love Paul F. Tompkins’ sprawling voices, Lauren Lapkus’s anarchic energy, and Andy Daly’s deadpan absurdism, it’s a treat.

It’s not for the continuity-literal or the serious-minded—jokes snowball, characters contradict, and reality is a springboard for the absurd. But even if you’ve never heard the show before, this is crowd-pleasing, high-velocity holiday comedy at its spunkiest and strangest.

SUMMARY:
A fan makes his CBB debut and immediately regrets it—after two hours of existential riffs, genderless elves, lethal Christmas presents, bee despots, and Santa himself cursing out the host.

End of Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: Be My Guest, Literally!"

Podcast Summary & Detailed Breakdown

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Episode Flow

1. Intro & Set-up (03:46–06:00)

Scott Aukerman lays out the episode premise: Michael Abelson “paid for” his spot, picked his favorite CBB “murderers’ row” of guests.
Immediate banter between Scott and Werner Herzog (Paul F. Tompkins) on internet anonymity kicks off the show’s antic, rapid-fire tone.

Notable Quote:

“I play for keeps. Sometimes for crepes, occasionally for canapes, but mostly for keeps.” — Scott Aukerman (03:46)

2. Werner Herzog’s Imaginary Comedy Career (06:00–13:19)

"Werner" describes his new (fake) Comedy Central show: Kroll Show, Still.
Werner unveils his “celebrity impressions”—from Jimmy Cagney to Honey Boo Boo to a genderless being from the future (with computer noises).

Notable Sequence:

“Bleep, bloop, blarp, bloop.” — Werner Herzog, as “the celebrity from the future” (11:30)

3. Michael Abelson as Actual Guest (15:11–24:59)

Michael Abelson is introduced: actual English-born, Harvard-educated New York corporate litigator, now in the Comedy Bang Bang circle of trust.
Explains his Indiegogo donation; insists he’s “not good with money.”
Scott and Werner needle him about the morality of defending “faceless conglomerates,” and Abelson ironically claims, “I provide a voice to the voiceless.”
Abelson reminisces about family U.S. road trips, lists states, continues being a very good sport.

Memorable Exchanges:

“Any white guy you meet may be a birthday boy.” — Scott Aukerman (16:33)

“Oh, I provide a voice to the voiceless. I don't see anyone else stepping up to defend the investment banks.” — Michael Abelson (21:09)

4. Arrival of Ho Ho the Elf (28:25–35:45)

Enter Ho Ho the Elf (Lapkus) in high, chaotic fashion.
Digs deep into the Naughty List mythology: Ho Ho gifts bad kids “knives, shivs, and guns”—coal was too soft.
Bizarre tangents about stoning with coal and demonic Christmas origins.

Notable Dialogue:

“Bad little boys and bad little girls get knives and shivs and guns… and machetes, but those are still considered gifts.” — Ho Ho the Elf (30:06)

“Maybe what the mom ate. I haven't figured it out yet.” — Ho Ho, theorizing on what determines “bad” at birth (33:32)

5. Santa Claus Joins the Fray (36:02–40:07)

Santa Claus (Paul F. Tompkins) enters via “Skype.” Banters with Ho Ho, takes shots at Scott’s interviewing skills, expresses mixed feelings about Mrs. Claus’ attractiveness, is asked if Michael can ever get off the Naughty List (spoiler: nope).
Santa and Ho Ho riff on failed Indiegogo documentaries, personal histories, and Christmas origin stories.

Notable Quotes:

“Oh, that filthy show.” — Santa, on Comedy Bang Bang (36:28)

“One time I got stuck between her tits.” — Ho Ho, about Mrs. Claus (37:26)

6. Return to Michael Abelson’s Backstory & “Elf Rules” (40:07–46:27)

Banter explores Michael’s “naughty” credentials, suggestions of a wild, empty lifestyle as a wealthy corporate lawyer.
Ho Ho details the “bad since birth” theory, with Werner Herzog drawing theological links: “So when people pop out of the close-ups of the woman’s vagina with all the disgusting blood and everything… then the child is just naturally bad and will never change?” (33:15)

7. Sophisticated European Cinema—Meet Jean Claude Pepit (51:58–59:06)

Jean Claude Pepit (Daly) enters: a fictional, self-aggrandizing megastar of “all the times” in French cinema.
Droll conversation about celebrity, lineage, and Jean Claude’s big new project: a film entitled “Geico,” in which he plays a French waiter serving escargot to someone’s pet snail.

Notable Exchange:

“In France, I am the greatest film star of all of the times.” — Jean Claude Pepit (52:14)

8. A Play Within the Show: Nosferatu Auditions (61:11–68:23)

Werner and Jean Claude reenact their audition for Herzog's Nosferatu, complete with poor script formatting, confusing character names, and a popcorn delivery subplot.
Ho Ho and Michael take supporting roles, with constant meta-commentary and farcical breakdowns.

Highlight:

“Smash Cut 2… That’s a weird choice.” — Scott reading stage directions (64:20)

9. “The Tears of the Moon”—Another Improv Movie Pitch (69:00–74:15)

Jean Claude describes his second big film: as a pilot who tries to cheer up the moon, whose tears create the Earth’s oceans.
Werner Herzog delivers an emotional performance as the moon.
The conversation mutates into musings about periods, tides, and emotional distance.

Memorable Moment:

“I cry because the Earth… people look up at me and they become so sad because they pine for lost lovers… or they think I’m some big blob of cheese.” — Werner Herzog as the moon (72:09)

10. Ancestry & Santa Returns (75:15–79:22)

Ho Ho and Michael joke about being genetically related (“I’m three inches high”—Michael), which leads to a call to Santa Claus for genealogical clarification.
Santa, roped in, continues sarcastic rapport with the gang, especially Jean Claude Pepit.

Notable:

“There's only one alternate universe where there is no such thing as Santa Claus.” — Santa Claus (101:16)

11. Game Segments & Improvised Mayhem

Name French Actors Game (82:50–87:12)

The group plays a nonsense “Name French Actors” game, resulting in a farcical mix of real, fictional, and wordplay answers (“French kissing,” “French Stewart,” “Wee Man”).

Would You Rather (87:46–110:28)

Would you rather: “Be the best surgeon ever but bees rule the world?” or “Live in the biggest treehouse as an immortal but never leave?”
The cast hilariously derails the segment with dozens of questions about bee monarchies, queen bees wearing wigs, and Santa’s roommate situation.
Game winner: Michael Abelson (“It pays to be honest.” — Werner Herzog, 107:45)

12. Climactic “Santa Fight” & Wrap-Up (111:12–126:10)

Spirals into a fake brawl: Santa physically assaults Scott after a challenge, with Abelson offering legal counsel as Santa smacks him with dollar bills and ho ho piles on.
Werner calmly narrates: “I am recording all of this.” (113:43)
Resolution: Scott apologizes; Werner claims “litigation” as justification for not helping.

13. Plugs Segment (115:05–124:39)

Jean Claude plugs “Nothing is Good” (drama), “The Person’s Nose” (comedy), and “Geico” (meta insurance movie).
Ho Ho plugs Lapkus’s actual podcast “With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus” and Lauren’s Twitter.
Werner plugs the concept of cement and Paul F. Tompkins’ real/fake shows.
Michael Abelson gives a heartfelt shout-out to Earwolf engineers (“If you feel wronged, sue someone!” 124:21).

Additional Notable Quotes & Moments

“French Stewart—in everything French Saunders.” — Michael Abelson (85:43)
“You can kind of see your nose through your nose.” — Scott Aukerman (116:14)
“The coal stoning… about someone who is stoned to death with coal.” — Jean Claude Pepit (117:43)
“I've never established that you can't talk during the end theme. Come on.” — Scott Aukerman (110:41)

Tone & Style

Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

Werner’s Future Celebrity Impression (“Bleep, bloop, blarp, bloop”) — 11:30
Ho Ho’s Christmas gift for bad kids: “Knives, shivs and guns” — 30:06
Mrs. Claus/Mrs. Claus's “private areas”: — 37:26
Jean Claude auditions for Nosferatu, together with Werner, live on air — 63:12–68:23
Would You Rather—cast derails game with questions about bee monarchies, Santa’s rent, and peanut butter — 94:02–106:10
Santa and Scott’s fake fight: “I’ll kick your fucking ass with it.” “Make sure you got your nightcap on…” — 111:41–113:12
Michael Abelson’s winning plug: “Just continue suing each other.” — 124:16

Episode Structure

[03:46–15:11] — Opening, Scott and Werner/Paul, intro to Michael Abelson
[15:11–28:25] — Michael’s bio, corporate litigator and Indiegogo details, American roadtrip stories
[28:25–36:00] — Ho Ho arrival, Christmas mythology, Santa called in
[36:00–51:58] — Naughty list theology, Michael's Americanization, Harvard banter
[51:58–61:11] — Jean Claude Pepit arrives, French acting, “Geico” movie
[61:11–74:15] — Nosferatu audition, “Tears of the Moon” film outline
[75:15–87:12] — Ancestry gags, “Name French Actors”
[87:12–110:28] — “Would You Rather”, more Santa/Ho Ho mayhem
[110:28–115:05] — Santa fight, aftermath
[115:05–124:39] — Plugs, closing thanks
[124:39–end] — Credits, Christmas outtro

For First-Time Listeners

End of Summary

Bonus Bang: Be My Guest, Literally! (Michael Ableson, Paul F. Tompkins, Andy Daly, Lauren Lapkus)

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Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: Be My Guest, Literally!"

Podcast Summary & Detailed Breakdown

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Episode Flow

1. Intro & Set-up (03:46–06:00)

Notable Quote:

2. Werner Herzog’s Imaginary Comedy Career (06:00–13:19)

Notable Sequence:

3. Michael Abelson as Actual Guest (15:11–24:59)

Memorable Exchanges:

4. Arrival of Ho Ho the Elf (28:25–35:45)

Notable Dialogue:

5. Santa Claus Joins the Fray (36:02–40:07)

Notable Quotes:

6. Return to Michael Abelson’s Backstory & “Elf Rules” (40:07–46:27)

7. Sophisticated European Cinema—Meet Jean Claude Pepit (51:58–59:06)

Notable Exchange:

8. A Play Within the Show: Nosferatu Auditions (61:11–68:23)

Highlight:

9. “The Tears of the Moon”—Another Improv Movie Pitch (69:00–74:15)

Memorable Moment:

10. Ancestry & Santa Returns (75:15–79:22)

Notable:

11. Game Segments & Improvised Mayhem

Name French Actors Game (82:50–87:12)

Would You Rather (87:46–110:28)

12. Climactic “Santa Fight” & Wrap-Up (111:12–126:10)

13. Plugs Segment (115:05–124:39)

Additional Notable Quotes & Moments

Tone & Style

Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

Episode Structure

For First-Time Listeners

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: Be My Guest, Literally!"

Podcast Summary & Detailed Breakdown

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Episode Flow

1. Intro & Set-up (03:46–06:00)

Notable Quote:

2. Werner Herzog’s Imaginary Comedy Career (06:00–13:19)

Notable Sequence:

3. Michael Abelson as Actual Guest (15:11–24:59)

Memorable Exchanges:

4. Arrival of Ho Ho the Elf (28:25–35:45)

Notable Dialogue:

5. Santa Claus Joins the Fray (36:02–40:07)

Notable Quotes:

6. Return to Michael Abelson’s Backstory & “Elf Rules” (40:07–46:27)

7. Sophisticated European Cinema—Meet Jean Claude Pepit (51:58–59:06)

Notable Exchange:

8. A Play Within the Show: Nosferatu Auditions (61:11–68:23)

Highlight:

9. “The Tears of the Moon”—Another Improv Movie Pitch (69:00–74:15)

Memorable Moment:

10. Ancestry & Santa Returns (75:15–79:22)

Notable:

11. Game Segments & Improvised Mayhem

Name French Actors Game (82:50–87:12)

Would You Rather (87:46–110:28)

12. Climactic “Santa Fight” & Wrap-Up (111:12–126:10)

13. Plugs Segment (115:05–124:39)

Additional Notable Quotes & Moments

Tone & Style

Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

Episode Structure

For First-Time Listeners