Bonus Bang: The Pool Duel-Over: Part Duel (Jason Mantzoukas, Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Comedy Bang Bang – "Bonus Bang: The Pool Duel-Over: Part Duel"

Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Jason Mantzoukas, Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins
Date: January 15, 2026
Original Air: March 27, 2022 (Ep. 750)
Theme: Scott revisits a backyard-era episode featuring a wild, character-packed saga that climaxes with an absurd water polo "duel" for the hand of Lady Amelia, British royal gossip, Shanana mythology, and densely packed improv comedy.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a re-release from Comedy Bang Bang's archive, celebrating the show’s 750th episode ("The Pool Duel-Over: Part Duel") as part of the "Half a Hundo" milestone series. Recorded outdoors during the "backyard era," the episode assembles guest favorites Jason Mantzoukas, Andy Daly, and Paul F. Tompkins, each portraying multiple outlandish characters. The central story: a comically high-stakes water polo showdown between royal watcher Byron Denniston and water polo instructor The Grizz, with a supporting cast weighing in on British monarchy, death conspiracies, fictional band membership, and more.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Welcome, Backyard Antics, and Character Chaos

Time: [01:00]–[07:00]

• Scott explains the "backyard era" (COVID safety), the premise of revisiting classic episodes, and intros Jason Mantzoukas as guest/co-host.
• Jason and Scott riff on the oddities of Scott’s backyard: funhouse mirrors, balloons, perpetual children’s party vibe.
• Early callbacks to recurring bits—confused characters wandering in (e.g., Shimmy), off-mic improvisations—set the tone for the episode’s chaotic, playful spirit.

Notable Quotes:

• “The aesthetic of a children’s birthday party is what we’ve been going for... with no children.” – Aukerman [06:41]

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2. Pandemic Banter, Musicals, and Britishisms

Time: [07:10]–[13:00]

• Jason reveals he enjoyed Spielberg’s "West Side Story" (but dislikes musical numbers):
  • “I did find myself being like, well, stop singing and just keep telling me the story.” – Mantzoukas [11:34]
• Riffing on airplane movie edits, the fate of the “Dark Universe,” and British vs. American TV adaptations.
• Launches into cultural touchstones, always with absurd “British” equivalents—mocking the UK/US sitcom cycle:
  • “Friends was based on Coupling. Of course, Coupling was based on Friends.” – Byron Denniston/Andy Daly [22:11]

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3. Enter: Byron Denniston, Royal Watcher

Time: [19:00]–[27:00]

• Andy Daly as Byron Denniston, an obsessive British “royal watcher,” now living near Harry and Meghan in California, drops in.
• Deadpan explanations of his “job”:
  • “It couldn’t be easier to understand... I watch the royals.” – Denniston [19:02]
• Discusses Queen Elizabeth’s health and the alleged "spaceship" renovation at Buckingham Palace for royal escape.

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4. Surreal Royal Gossip: Explosive Thrones & Platinum Jubilee

Time: [27:05]–[34:00]

• Byron drops a conspiratorial (and hilarious) plotline:
  • The Queen will press a button during her Platinum Jubilee, blowing up her own throne live on TV à la Michael Bay:
    • “There will be an extraordinary explosion... It’s her plan.” – Denniston [29:34, 30:31]
    • “She says, this is my final gift to you, and in closing, fuck you Diana...” – Denniston [33:14]
• The group riffs on royal line-of-succession, building thrones (“like Ikea”), and the possibility of random subjects, including podcast hosts, seizing the throne if they assemble one fast enough.

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5. The Pool Duel Challenge is Issued

Time: [36:38]–[41:00]

• Backstory: Byron lost Lady Amelia’s hand to her fiancé “The Grizz” in a sword duel but now seeks a rematch in The Grizz’s own field: water polo.
• Incredulous that Byron’s plan is to beat a water polo instructor at his own game, despite never having played:
  • “Why challenge him at what he does best?” – Scott [38:41]
  • “I never imagined myself... marrying into royalty, sure. But becoming King by building a throne...?” – Denniston [36:09]

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6. The Grizz Arrives, Tensions Escalate

Time: [41:09]–[46:00]

• Paul F. Tompkins as “The Grizz” (loud, brash, endlessly confident water polo instructor) bursts in.
• Byron and The Grizz trash-talk, airing their grievances—a long-standing feud.
• The Grizz’s wild, layered backstory is revealed: water polo prodigy, pool-birth upbringing, and massive pride in “pool babies” as British cultural icons.

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7. Conspiracy, Absurdity, and Royal Intrigue

Time: [55:40]–[62:20]

• “The Grizz” spins tall tales: Princess Diana’s “death” faked with a mop; child doctors and lawyers in the UK.
• References to “Sha Na Na” band mythology, reflections on which living musicians could serve in a Hall-of-Fame-worthy version, and the “prophecy” if the band’s status changes—a running CBB in-joke.
• A string of surprise guest character appearances (Hot Dog, Brock Lovett, Al Peterson, JW Stillwater) join for increasingly ridiculous asides.

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8. The Water Polo Duel: Training, Chaos, and Outcome

Time: [64:38]–[100:45]

• Byron receives a five-minute, near-fatal water polo lesson.
• The match commences (“first goal wins, battle to the drown”). Both competitors are colossally unfit for the task.
• Farcical play-by-play: Byron wins the coin toss (“the face of the Queen”), gets tangled in the net, Grizz drowns, then Byron, then both simultaneously.
• Grizz momentarily revives, rambling about “Australian heaven.” The comic tension resolves with everyone, technically, dead.

Notable Moments:

• “He kept having to do the compressions on your chest. You were saying ‘Annie are you okay?’ the entire time.” – Scott [65:41]
• “Here in the States, you need a workforce of children like we have in the UK.” – The Grizz [57:41]
• “Both drown… this is awful. What has happened here today is awful.” – Scott [100:45]

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9. Plugs and Recap

Time: [93:12]–[97:07]

• Classic CBB “Plugs” segment with a chaotic new “oh, no, plugs!” jingle.
• Mantzoukas plugs “How Did This Get Made?” and LA Largo live shows; Tompkins, his live events and (in absentia) Andy Daly’s “Bananas for Bonanza” podcast.
• Scott mentions new CBBWorld content and offers a tongue-in-cheek farewell to the newly “deceased” guests.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On UK/US TV:
  “Every show on NBC Thursdays was adapted from the British—30 Rock, wasn’t that 30 Stone?” — Scott Aukerman [21:55]

• On the Queen’s supposed explosive finale:
  “There will be an extraordinary explosion—and that is of the entire palace? No, of the throne itself.” — Denniston [29:41]

• On duel prep:
  “My plan is to challenge him to a game of water polo... and I have never played at all.” — Byron Denniston [38:45]

• On conspiracy and death in the CBB universe:
  “Diana didn’t die. That was a mop, dear boy. Cut and colored to look like Lady Diana.” — The Grizz [56:48]

• During plugs:
  “Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no... it’s time for plugs.” — Scott/Grizz/Byron/Jason et al. [93:12ff]

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Important Timestamps

• [11:34] - Jason admits enjoying "West Side Story" despite music aversion.
• [19:02] - Byron Denniston explains "royal watcher."
• [29:34] - The Queen’s plan for throne-explosion revealed.
• [38:45] - Byron issues pool duel challenge.
• [41:09] - The Grizz enters, dueling trash-talk.
• [65:41] - Grizz rescues Byron repeatedly during pool lesson.
• [99:25] - Water polo “duel” results: both drown, chaos ensues.
• [93:12] - Chaotic “Plugs” segment.

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Tone & Style

• The show’s tone is anarchic, irreverent, full of running gags and meta-humor.
• Hosts and guests weave between character work, real pop culture references, and complete absurdity, with the "British" royal watcher bit and the “Grizz” as particular comic standouts.

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Conclusion

A perfect showcase for Comedy Bang Bang’s long-form improv mayhem, episode 750 is loaded with in-jokes for longtime fans, while offering newcomers a surreal but welcoming entry point. It lampoons British monarchy, skews podcast conventions (celebrity “duels,” TV tropes, conspiracy buffoonery), and leans hard into its open-door, character-collage format. The final “pool duel” is a microcosm of the show’s approach—high-stakes, low-sense, all hilarious.

For listeners new and old: if you like improv chaos, dense layers of joke-callbacks, and the sound of adults cheerfully drowning in their own absurdity, this is CBB at its best.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Oh, could this vintage store be any cuter?

[Byron Denniston]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the best part, they accept Discover. Except Discover in a little place like this? I don't think so, Jennifer.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah. Huh?

[Byron Denniston]

Discover's accepted where I like to shop.

[E]

Come on, baby, get with the times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. So we shouldn't get the parachute pants. These are making a comeback, I think.

[Byron Denniston]

Discover is accepted at 99% of places.

[Caller/Guest]

That take credit cards nationwide, based on.

[Byron Denniston]

The February 2025 Nielsen report.

[E]

Well, the holidays have come and go.

[Byron Denniston]

Once again, but if you've forgotten to.

[E]

Get that special someone in your life a gift. Well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless.

[Byron Denniston]

So here's the idea.

[E]

You get it now, you call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time.

[Announcer]

50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 month or $180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy see terms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. And we're in the middle of a fantastic series right now in anticipation of our upcoming 950th episode coming so soon. This week's bonus Bang is the next installment in a little series that we're calling Half a Hundo where we are revisiting landmark episodes where we roll the odometer on another 50 episod. Now, this episode is called the Pool Duel Over Part Duel. You'll find out why during the episode. It was originally released March 27, 2022 as episode 750. I believe we're still recording outside just out of an abundance of caution due to Covid's demise. But so that I believe that's happening in this episode. If you hear any bird chirps. So who do we have? We have Jason Manzoukas. He joins me at the top of the show. And our guests are royal watcher Byron Denniston. We also have various other people, all played by Andy Daly. And then we have water polo instructor the Grizz, played by Paul F. Tompkins, amongst other surprises that are in here. So enjoy this episode. An all time classic. Now if you did enjoy it and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen and the Neighborhood Listen, become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the archives. We have every live show we've ever done ad free new episodes, More original shows than you could shake anything at. Now we're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Wishes were fishes. I could finally open up my Aladdin themed sushi chain A whole new sea world. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Ooh. Dead silence. Well, thank you anyway. To catch Fraser Crane, I have notes. AKA Saber toothache. Welcome to Comedy Banger. Hey, wait, is that Shimmy Shimmy's back. Hey, Jimmy. What are you still doing here? Did you not leave? I got lost. I got lost. Lost in the backyard or lost trying to get out of the backyard? Both. Oh, no, Jimmy. Oh, wait, there it is. Oh, geez.

[E]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder what he saw. The exit.

[E]

How long has he been.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, I heard him. The exit. Okay. He's been here for three weeks, I think since Gourley's band was here. He was part of Matt Gorley's band.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh. Well, welcome to the show. Episode 750. Is all of this gibberish to you? If this is the episode you've ever heard, I'm sure it is, but welcome nonetheless.

[E]

Most episodes. Most people's first episodes are gibberish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Most episodes. Most people's last episodes are gibberish. Probably.

[E]

Probably, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mean lack of death. Whoops. Whoops. Like he.

[E]

How did he find his way back in here again?

[Scott Aukerman]

Or. Or he was mistaken when he saw whatever it was he saw. I thought you were different people. I'm sorry. Oh, wait. So I went around in a circle again. What did you think you saw? And what did you actually exit? But I think it's just a mirror. Okay, so you think you look, to.

[E]

Be fair, Scott's backyard is filled with mirrors. Just filled with mirrors.

[Scott Aukerman]

I started attacking this guy, but it was me.

[E]

That would explain all the broken glass.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the ground and bruises and scratches. Oh, wait. Oh, he's gone again.

[E]

He's gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Welcome to the show. My name is Scott Aukerman, and we have a great show coming up. A little later, we have. A foreigner will be here. Okay, so that'll be interesting.

[E]

Real brave of you. It's a real brave move on your part.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, these days we need to welcome people from all other shores to.

[E]

Our all other stars and stripes.

[Scott Aukerman]

All people of all stars and stripes.

[E]

Of all stars and.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. But before we get to him, I want to introduce our. Our A Block guests.

[E]

A Block.

[Scott Aukerman]

A Block. And he's been on the show many, many times, by the way. This is the backyard era. It is continuing, and I'm surprised to get him in the backyard. He hasn't been in my backyard for many moons.

[E]

Many moons.

[Scott Aukerman]

But he's here now.

[E]

Look at us do in the backyard here. What a delight.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't introduced you.

[E]

I don't care.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jason Manzukis.

[E]

Here we are. Look at this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we are. Here we are.

[E]

Right into the yard.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[E]

What a delight.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Welcome to it. What do you think of it?

[E]

Gorgeous. Yeah, gorgeous. All the mirrors, you said? Yeah, all the mirrors. Absolutely stunning. They're all reflecting the sun back on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Us, and they're all funhouse mirrors. So it's like giving you a lot of different body types to choose from.

[E]

A lot of, like, inflatable clown stuff going on. It's very. You have. I don't know if you've talked about this in other episodes. Your house has, like, a circus kind of fun house theme.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the aesthetic of a children's birthday party is what we've been trying for. Yes. For a childless.

[E]

And there are always balloons up front. It's really creepy.

[Scott Aukerman]

And bouncy house. We live in the bouncy.

[E]

You live in the bouncy house and you say that. The big houses for the big kids.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jay, welcome back to the show. You haven't been on in months. Yeah, months and months.

[E]

This is my first appearance in the new year, I believe. Is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

It is. Yeah. We haven't. You haven't been on since.

[E]

I guess it's only March.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're good since October or something. But what have you been up to? I mean, obviously just hiding in my.

[E]

House from the Omicron wave.

[Scott Aukerman]

But now, has Omicron waved at you yet and called you over?

[E]

No, it has not.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. You know, I'd like to give myself to you.

[E]

I. I found it. Shout from outside my windows at times.

[Scott Aukerman]

But no, like the little boy in A Christmas Carol.

[E]

Yeah, like, come on out and play.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come on. I would say we talk about the little boy in Christmas Carol more than we talk about Tiny Tim, Fred, any of the other here. We talk about that little boy.

[E]

Your number one as big as me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we talk about him all the time on this show. Love that kid.

[E]

Love that kid. I want to see where is he now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I want to. In the carol.

[E]

Verse his in the carol, which includes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The movie Carol of course. Where is that kid? Like, I want to see the. The sequel where he grows up and he becomes a miser.

[E]

I would love. You know what? That's the. The carol verse has been like completely. We've talked about the Dark Universe. We've talked about all these expanding universes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God, the Dark Universe. I can't wait till they get back to that.

[E]

We got to get back to the Dark Universe.

[Scott Aukerman]

We gotta go back.

[E]

We gotta go back.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like lost the aborted Dark Universe.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Oh, now, you know. You can't even. You can't even not have the Dark Universe in Texas anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. You're not allowed to show.

[E]

You're not allowed. You're not allowed to develop any more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Russell Crowe is not even allowed in Texas anywhere.

[E]

Nope.

[Scott Aukerman]

AKA Dr. Jekyll.

[The Grizz]

Wasn'T he?

[E]

He was.

[The Grizz]

I think he.

[E]

I think that's what he was.

[Scott Aukerman]

On a plane. They cut out the entire plane crash. That's like.

[E]

Is that right?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a quaint custom that they. I believe they still do on movies where they will cut out any plane crash because they don't want people freaking out when they're watching a movie on a plane and going like, that can happen.

[E]

I think there should be. I think there should be an option to just watch plane crash movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just Fight Club. Yeah.

[E]

The one, the one with. The one with Jeff Bridges and Rosie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fearless.

[E]

Yes, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Saw that in Milwaukee. Rosie, Wisconsin.

[E]

Bubbles, her son was. Wasn't a child's name Bubbles. Bubbles was on my lap and her child died in the plane crash. Wasn't that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't recall that particular line. Bubbles was on my lap. Something like, I've had some Bubbles. Bubbles on my lap.

[E]

Though I don't explain it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had sex with Michael Jackson's monkey.

[E]

Wow. You could have just had it sit on your lap.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was like, hey, why not go all the way with this?

[E]

You. I mean, not a lot of our listeners know you spent a lot of time at Neverland.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I did. Well, I was a young wee child who was fascinated with a very good singer. That's.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's how you would describe Michael Jackson, is it? Not a very good singer.

[E]

A very good singer.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of the great, famous good singer. Michael Jackson.

[E]

Will you go see the Michael Jackson musical?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, No, I will not. I can still listen to his records because they bring back memories of a certain time in my life, but I will not go see any new material.

[E]

Got it. Yeah, I get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although he's dead. So who cares who gets his money? Sure.

[E]

Absolutely. You know, we're doing. For. How did this get made? We're doing Diana the musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[E]

Which I am very excited about.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't even know what it is.

[E]

It's a musical about Princess Diana.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[E]

And it is like all. It's her life, including, I think, the car crash. I think it's crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they put in the song Dirty Diana in it just to be like.

[E]

Song Dirty Diana is in the musical?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that's. And you hate musicals. Although you were talking to me recently off mic.

[E]

Off mic.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you said. And this was astounding to me, do.

[E]

Not reveal anything I tell you off mic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, shit. I'm afraid I'm going to have to, because I hate to sell you out, but damn it, you said this. You did not ask for it to be off the record when you.

[E]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

So unfortunately, I can reveal it.

[E]

I need to start saying off the record.

[Scott Aukerman]

You liked a musical recently.

[E]

I thought that west side Story was good. I thought. I didn't like. I'll be honest. I didn't like the songs. I didn't. I said I didn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You turned it off during.

[E]

But I was like. It was a beautifully shot movie. It was like a. It was like. I like, listen, Spielberg is making incredible moves constantly, and it's gorgeous to watch. I did find myself, myself, as I do with all musicals, being like, well, stop singing and just keep. Just keep telling me the story. I'm enjoying.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just have a conversation.

[E]

I don't understand why you're all jumping around and dancing and singing now. You were in the middle of something really good.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, wait, but what about the. What about the songs where they are intended to be dancing like they go to an actual dance?

[E]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fine by you.

[E]

Diegetic dancing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great.

[E]

Dancing in the streets that people are meant to think is not dancing.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about the video Dancing in the Streets with Mick Jagger? David Bowie. Yep.

[E]

Love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You love it.

[E]

They're dancing in Chicago. They're dancing down in New Orleans. Or New Orleans.

[Scott Aukerman]

You ever see that? I forget what it was on. It felt like it was maybe that one of those Broadway is Back specials or something. But Jimmy Fallon sang Dancing in the Streets.

[E]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you haven't seen it.

[E]

I haven't seen it and I don't want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's.

[E]

Now he's saying it, I'm assuming, doing impressions. Both of them. Oh, both of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing both. He was at the records playing, and then he was doing the Mick Jagger moves. During. It was very weird. But he never said, like, he just. I don't. That's just the way he learned the song, I think. Wow. Interesting. Is it not?

[E]

That's fascinating.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting psychology of a man like that.

[E]

We'll link to it in the show notes just so everybody can watch it. We do a lot of that. We do a lot of Lincoln in the show notes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You ever see that movie? Lincoln's name? Who's that?

[The Grizz]

Hi, it's me, Thin Lizzy. And guess what? I didn't sing Smoking in the Boys Room. I sang the Boys are Back at the Go.

[E]

Okay, Take care, Thin Lizzy. What I liked about that was that Thin Lizzy took his mic all the way around to his mouth to do that. And in the lead up.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta say, he's too thin. These guys I watched. He's £85 at this point.

[E]

Oh, very thin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Perilously.

[E]

I will say Thin Lizzy has gotten too thin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Too thin. Like.

[E]

Like this is now anorexic. Lizzy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's. Let's make him carb libsy. Libsy.

[E]

I loved, but I did. I watched inspiration happen. The mic get all the way turned around.

[Scott Aukerman]

This mic is turning around. This MIC is going 180.

[E]

This has to happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the backyard era.

[The Grizz]

Hey, I forgot to tell you guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hey, Vin. Lizz.

[The Grizz]

I'm now called Body Positive Lizzie. I like my body.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm fine with it. We don't. We think you need to eat.

[E]

You gotta eat something.

[The Grizz]

You're body shaving me.

[E]

No worries.

[Byron Denniston]

It's not good.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does your doctor say?

[The Grizz]

It's a fine line between body shaming and concern. I'm body positivity. That's all you need to know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what you tell your physician?

[The Grizz]

Yes. I also say the boys are back in town. When I walk in the office.

[Guest/Other]

And.

[The Grizz]

Then I go have a cigarette in the men's room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. Oh, my goodness.

[E]

Good stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good stuff.

[E]

The backyard era. The BYD people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's the thing is, is I. I don't have a perimeter secured around my backyard, so people are just wandering in and out.

[E]

People can just wander in. You just. And you have an open door policy, you know, much like the studios.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing. Well, ever since I started doing them back here, we leave all of our doors open. Yep. We had no alarms on.

[E]

So smart. So smart. The place looks like a fun house carnival ride.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the thieves can tell from Instagram when I'm out of the house.

[E]

You have a barker outside saying house Is empty. They're in the backyard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just a constant stream of children as well. Like celebrating all of their birthday parties. It's like a McDonald's Playland. Playland or Funland or whatever. Yeah. What do they call those?

[E]

I don't know. That's a good question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did they, did they copyright that term? Funland or Playland or whatever it is?

[E]

Probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would be like them, wouldn't it?

[Byron Denniston]

But you know what? McDonald's.

[E]

Oh, yeah. What? A crochet.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's weird that he didn't invent Crocs. Instead he invented McDonald's.

[E]

Yeah, well, I mean, he did. Really? The McDonald's?

[Scott Aukerman]

The guy named McDonald. You know what? He invented the farm. Yeah.

[E]

He bought it.

[Scott Aukerman]

He certainly did. He's dead now. He's dead. E, I E I O. I think I said that like Carson or something. Oh my gosh.

[E]

Well, Carson's getting really good now, especially as the generations are not knowing the reference.

[Scott Aukerman]

What he sounds like you're basically doing.

[E]

All of your, all of your impressions are of, are from the 80s.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're based on death too. Like when a person dies. I can do it.

[E]

That's when you start.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I can do the shittiest impression. And the further they get away from life, the better my impression.

[E]

That's when you start working on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[The Grizz]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, today you, today when I walked in, I. You said, I'm starting to work on my, on my William Hurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here I go. God, how do I feel? Like someone does a William Hurt. But I, I'm trying to remember. What would it be like?

[Caller/Guest]

Like.

[E]

Oh, it would be just, just a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boring, like very flat, very high.

[E]

See? It'll get better.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you felt my body seen it.

[E]

At the very beginning? Because he's just passed and we'll see you working.

[Scott Aukerman]

My state is altered in, in five years.

[E]

In five years you won't even need the references.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll know exactly what we're talking about.

[E]

You'll just be able to live in the hurt that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course, we're talking about a person who passed away two weeks ago and.

[E]

Oh, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rest in peace to him and to everyone who's ever.

[E]

Okay, all right, Pete.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone who's wish it didn't have to happen. But this, this earth of ours would be very crowded if it didn't.

[E]

We'd have to crowded already.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have to hang out with cavemen all day.

[E]

Have you been doing plane breaks?

[Scott Aukerman]

Occasionally, yeah. When we first started the backyard era, we did some plane breaks. Yeah.

[E]

Oh, cuz I, I, you know what I miss A plane break from the old studio days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, if I had that song at the. At my fingertips, I would maybe do it. Don't worry about it, Jay. We have to get to our first guest.

[E]

I would love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

To. It's wonderful to have you as a co host, especially on episode 750. Can you believe it's been going that long?

[E]

What is it, 12 years?

[Scott Aukerman]

We're almost at our 13th anniversary in a month.

[E]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[E]

Old.

[Scott Aukerman]

Old as as hell. Look at our references, Carson.

[E]

Look at this.

[Scott Aukerman]

A Christmas Carol, Thin Lizzy. We haven't.

[The Grizz]

Positive Lizzy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry.

[E]

We haven't had. We haven't had a modern reference in the entirety of this episode so far from the 21st century.

[Scott Aukerman]

What can we talk about?

[E]

Yeah, exactly. Look at you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're struggling, Rosalia.

[E]

I mean, I talked about. We talked about west side story.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, like nothing 50s.

[E]

Nothing is new.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. I apologize to the listener, but hopefully you're enjoying yourself. But we have to get to our.

[E]

Yeah, we were going to talk about comics for this whole time, but let's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one wants to hear that. Especially on cbb.world.com. yeah, no one wants to hear that show.

[E]

Let's just go straight to this first guest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's go straight to the guest. He is. He's been on the show several times. He is the aforementioned foreigner. And I believe he refers to himself as a royal watcher. And we'll talk to him about what that means. I believe we've covered it before on the show, but please welcome.

[Byron Denniston]

It couldn't be easier to understand. It really is right there in the name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Royal watcher.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I watch the royals. Yes. And if you need an infusion of Moderna into your show, you'll come to the right man because we will be talking about the royals, the Windsors.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got the Pfizer, actually, so I'm good.

[Byron Denniston]

My goodness. No, although, you know. Well, it's funny you should say that because, you know, Queen Elizabeth has recently had a bit of a row.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I want to talk about that. Let me introduce you. Your name is Byron Dennist.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes. Thank you.

[Guest/Other]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Wonderful to be here. Hello, gentlemen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello.

[E]

It's so great to see you, Byron.

[Byron Denniston]

Lovely to do. Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's flown across. No, no, actually, the pond.

[Caller/Guest]

No, no.

[Byron Denniston]

I've lately. I have recently relocated the grounds of Prince Harry and Meghan's home.

[E]

Really? Where do they live now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Vancouver?

[Byron Denniston]

No, up in Santa Barbara.

[E]

They live like in Montecito or something like that.

[Byron Denniston]

Montecito, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beautiful country. There.

[Byron Denniston]

Very near to Oprah, as a matter of fact. She has a habit of stopping by unannounced because they did say, please come by anytime. And she's really taken it quite seriously.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's just taking advantage of them.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I don't know that she thinks of it that way, but I'll be quite honest with you. After she leaves half the time, they say, you know, again, really, what are we supposed to say? You know, she keeps dropping.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can only imagine if you don't, like, buy any groceries, just how tempting that would be.

[Byron Denniston]

What do you mean? I don't know how tempting would be to not buy groceries.

[Scott Aukerman]

To not buy groceries and just go over to your neighbor's house all the time.

[E]

Oh, you mean like to. For a cup of sugar?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you know like how Kramer used to just, like, come right into the kitchen every time he would come into house.

[E]

Sure, yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know what. Did you have Seinfeld or did you have a different show there?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no, no, We.

[E]

We.

[Byron Denniston]

You know, Seinfeld was based on a British series.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it was. Really. Ran four episodes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, we only did four.

[E]

Four.

[Byron Denniston]

Seinfeld. One.

[Scott Aukerman]

One cycle or. No, one series.

[Byron Denniston]

One.

[E]

One.

[Byron Denniston]

No, two series and a Christmas special.

[Scott Aukerman]

So two. The series were two episodes each.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, each series was two episodes. And then the Christmas special was only 10 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was it called?

[Byron Denniston]

It was called Car. Car, after Jimmy Carr.

[Guest/Other]

Car.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what were they like, who was Kramer? Who was Elaine? Who was George? And I'm sure they were not Jewish, like.

[Byron Denniston]

They were certainly not.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

They're British. Yes. More British than Jewish. Yes. Well, what do you mean?

[E]

Who.

[Byron Denniston]

Who were they? They. They were sort of the people in. In Car's life.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they're all just based on his path.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, exactly. Yes. Yes. He had a whimsical neighbor and all that, you know, and. Yes, and. And this fellow Seinfeld just sort of adapted it for American television. That.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, like, it's like the Office. Yeah.

[E]

So many American shows are just. Yeah, all those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything that was ever on NBC on Thursday nights was adapted from the British. Right. 30 rock. Wasn't that 30 stone?

[Byron Denniston]

30 stone. Y.

[E]

And it was about someone.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes. It's a different show, but. Yeah, that's absolutely right. Of course, Friends was based on Coupling.

[E]

Yeah, of course.

[Byron Denniston]

Of course Coupling was based on Friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The cycle continues on and on. Hopefully they'll keep going back and forth where suddenly, like, then Friends will be based on Coupling. America's Coupling. Never mind.

[Byron Denniston]

Right.

[E]

I think Veronica's closet was based on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Veronica's flat or something like that.

[E]

Yeah, something Amelia's wc.

[Byron Denniston]

The water closet. Yeah.

[E]

In the UK it was a water closet, right? Yeah. Because in the UK you guys keep all your water in closets.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, we try to, yes.

[E]

I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, why have water in the living room?

[Byron Denniston]

No, exactly. That's the idea. I don't. You'll keep your wet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you guys not have wet bars there?

[Byron Denniston]

Wet bars? I don't know the phrase. I'm not familiar with the phrase.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a sink that is near the main living space in order so you don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen to make yourself a drink.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no, not at all. No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

We want to keep water away from all that.

[Byron Denniston]

Right. We have little bells that we ring for someone to come and take care of all that.

[E]

What about wet bars? You know, like. Like. You know, like a bar like.

[Scott Aukerman]

You go. By the way, Wet day is coming up. I gotta remind myself.

[E]

What are you guys doing? I was gonna ask, what are you guys doing for Wet Day?

[Byron Denniston]

Is this something. A bank holiday here?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're celebrating the first one.

[E]

It's one of the new holidays that is taking off. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta get wet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess. You gotta get wet. I don't know how we're celebrating, but we are. It's coming up in, like, GGW. Got 12 days or something.

[E]

Is it really 12 days?

[Announcer]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

It' the whole day wet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so, yeah. You'd hate it in England.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, well, you know, it's very soggy there. Anyway. Every day is Wet day. Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful.

[Byron Denniston]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. But, you know, today is a bank holiday. It's Commonwealth day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you know that we're taping this a little bit earlier? It's a Commonwealth day.

[Byron Denniston]

Monday the 14th. The Commonwealth Day.

[The Grizz]

Oh.

[E]

So I'm surprised you're here. Are you? Can I ask you, Byron, just because you said you've been here a while, are you allowed back in the uk?

[Byron Denniston]

Back in the uk? Not at the moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's at the moment.

[Byron Denniston]

I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that could change.

[Byron Denniston]

Let me put it this way. I would have to come in in a sort of creative way. Perhaps by boat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What's the easiest way to access England? Is it by land, by sea, by air?

[Byron Denniston]

One would prefer, I think, to fly straight into Heathrow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think the way that they're not guarding would be to, like, walk across the bottom of the ocean.

[Byron Denniston]

They're definitely not guarding.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then go up, go up on the beach.

[Byron Denniston]

They're not guarding that.

[E]

That would be very smart. Have you thought about that walking across the sea, Floo?

[Byron Denniston]

I have not thought about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe a self contained underwater breathing apparatus.

[Byron Denniston]

That I have thought of. But what I do instead is I sort of. I. I take a. I go. I fly to Iceland and then I take a boat to one of the. The lesser Scottish islands, and then I. I sort of tramp about until I get to London and I. I do that a few times a year.

[E]

Is this the first Commonwealth Day you've missed?

[Byron Denniston]

Uh, yes, but I thought it was okay, because also missing this Commonwealth day is the Queen herself.

[E]

Oh, wow, that's right. You mentioned the Queen because of her recent Covid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, that's what she.

[Byron Denniston]

That'. Oh, my sources tell me that he's.

[E]

Speaking of the obvious.

[The Grizz]

What?

[Byron Denniston]

That is not.

[The Grizz]

No, no, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Covid barely made a dent.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is what she said.

[E]

That is what she said.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that in the British office?

[E]

That was the British office.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is what she said.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I think in Britain it was. That is what one says.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Byron Denniston]

That is what one says.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is very hard. That is what one says.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, precisely. Yes, that is what one says.

[Scott Aukerman]

But she did not have Covid because this.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, she had Covid. But Covid, I mean, it' Royal blood. You know what I mean? It's. There's a divinity to the blood in. In a royal. So it has. It stands no chance whatsoever. Of course, she beat it back effortlessly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Byron Denniston]

But. And then.

[E]

But then she saw her age. I was surprised.

[Scott Aukerman]

How old is she? She's like 98, I believe that's right.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I believe that's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Geez.

[E]

But she.

[Byron Denniston]

She made short work of COVID She's.

[Scott Aukerman]

A year shy of Betty White. Who do you think lasts longer, Betty White or the Queen?

[E]

Oh, Betty White has passed.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, but she only got to 99 is what I'm saying.

[E]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

You thought you were breaking it to me.

[E]

Oh.

[Byron Denniston]

The Queen will live to 99, but not long after. So I think, Betty, I mean, if you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you know this? Oh, I.

[Byron Denniston]

Because I'm privy to the plans.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the inner machinations.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, there are some very elaborate plans to celebrate the Queen's Platinum jubilee in June.

[E]

Is there a royal. You're a royal watcher. Is there, like, a royal oracle? Is there somebody who, you know, prophesies about the royal. You know, everybody in the ro. Royal family?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, there's any number of sort of psychics Whatever functioning in England and focusing on the royals.

[E]

But I guess, but nobody that is inside of their world, Nobody that is part of the.

[Byron Denniston]

I'll say this, no one is closer to the royals than me.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[Guest/Other]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, physically.

[E]

You mean physically?

[Byron Denniston]

Physically.

[Scott Aukerman]

Physically you are the eyeballs behind the paintings.

[Byron Denniston]

I, I am very often, particularly at Windsor Castle, the eyeballs behind the paintings. And as you may know, Buckingham palace is undergoing a 10 year renovation. It's been easier to get in and out of town, put on a hard hat and in you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

It seems really weird. The Queen is about to die and they're like, hey, let's start a renovation that you're not gonna live to see.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, yes, it does seem strange until you understand what exactly they're renovating.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, why? What is going on there?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, as you know, we've talked in the past about how all of the royals of Europe needed to go to the city hall in Alfenanden Rhine in the Netherlands.

[Scott Aukerman]

I sort of remember this. What was this about?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, that's. It's a spaceship really. In addition to being a functioning city hall, it of a space worthy vehicle. And, and I suppose the royals of Britain have decided that they rather not travel to the Netherlands for that. And so while they are saying that the renovation of Buckingham palace is all about the heat and the electricity and whatnot, it's really. They're putting in a spaceship.

[E]

They're. They're retrofitting it for, for, for the day that they. Interstellar travel.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're doing their own spaceship. And are they making everyone come to them or they're just gonna be, they're.

[Byron Denniston]

Just doing their own, doing their own thing forward. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Britain first.

[Byron Denniston]

Britain first, Exactly.

[E]

I mean they're Brexiting. They're Brexiting this royal agreement that the, it's the, it's the Danish, right, the. That have the spaceship. Well, oh no, it's the Netherlands you said. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Which may be the Danish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who knows what to call those?

[Byron Denniston]

Who knows what's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

The Danes. The melancholy Danes.

[E]

Oh, how interesting. Okay, so do you think that Prince Charles is furious that his mother has lived this long? I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got it. I mean he's home. He's not a young man himself.

[E]

He's been told since birth he's going to be king.

[Scott Aukerman]

Especially eating all the British food, the pudding and all that kind of stuff.

[E]

Oh, the pudding. All that pudding. All that pudding.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, all that pudding. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

He's been more than patient, but he's ready. He's ready.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he's ready.

[Byron Denniston]

And it will happen on June 5th is the day that he will.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is June 5th?

[Byron Denniston]

That is the final day of the Platinum Jubilee celebration for the Queen.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is the Platinum Jubilee celebrating?

[Byron Denniston]

It marks 70 years on the throne, the longest end.

[E]

And then she will sit. Stand down or sit down.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, no. She has.

[Scott Aukerman]

She will.

[Byron Denniston]

She will give an address from her throne, at the end of which she will press a button and there will be an extraordinary explosion.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that is of the entire palace or. No, of the throne itself.

[Byron Denniston]

The throne itself? Yes, the throne itself.

[Scott Aukerman]

So Charles will never even ascend the throne? No, no, no.

[Byron Denniston]

He will become the king.

[Scott Aukerman]

He'll become the king, but he'll still.

[E]

He'll build his own throne.

[Scott Aukerman]

He'll have to build his own throne. He will need his own throne, his own explosive throne.

[E]

Is that part of the transition? Is that part of the transition of power? Is that each new king or queen their own throne?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, is it like ikea?

[Byron Denniston]

Is it like ikea?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you. Do you have ikea?

[Byron Denniston]

What do you mean by that?

[Guest/Other]

Where.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where? You have to assemble your own.

[E]

You have to make it yourself.

[Byron Denniston]

I don't know that Charles will be making his own throne, but he will need a new throne, that's for certain. But yes, this is how the Queen chooses to go out. And I think it's beautiful.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's.

[Byron Denniston]

And nobody knows it yet. Only I have seen the schematics for I love you.

[E]

She's doing it on her own terms.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you, you've heard the conversations. She's cool with this? She's.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, it's her plan. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

She wants to do it.

[Byron Denniston]

She's insisting there have been multiple high level meetings trying to talk her out of it because it will be televised and a lot of people think it might be disturbing. The Queen says, this is how I'd like to go out.

[E]

I heard she's having Michael Bay shoot it. Yes, Michael Bay, like nine cameras.

[Byron Denniston]

Cameras all over the place. And Ba Bay is the only one who will be in the room.

[E]

I heard she said she wanted that signature. Bayhem.

[Byron Denniston]

That is what. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do they call him in England? Michael Pond or.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm not. I'm not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have to change your name when you go to England?

[Byron Denniston]

Not that I'm aware.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So people can keep their names when they. I think so.

[Byron Denniston]

I think so, yes. That's only fair.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, well, this is incredible. And she didn't have Covid or she.

[Byron Denniston]

She had.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did you say that?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, because she's been Using it as an excuse to do things she doesn't want to do anyway. And so today for instance, the Commonwealth Day, she's frolicking about Windsor Castle with her husband's Jim Broadbent and Jim Belushi and any number of other gyms.

[E]

The jbs.

[Guest/Other]

Yes.

[E]

AKA the jbs. Jbs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Any number of backup for James Brown.

[E]

James Brown died. They've had nothing to do. Fred Wesley, the jb.

[Byron Denniston]

The JB Horns are there playing.

[E]

Macy O. Parker.

[Byron Denniston]

Always. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Our references are still 50 years old.

[E]

Very old.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, that's what she's doing. And she's, you know, she is just loving the life of a freewheeling.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Why does she want to go out? Just say she. Why doesn't she just say she has long Covid and she can do whatever she wants?

[Byron Denniston]

I believe she may do something quite like that until.

[E]

Until she blows her thro. Up on the throne.

[Byron Denniston]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you say? June 2nd is when?

[Byron Denniston]

June 5th.

[Scott Aukerman]

June 5th. Okay, so you'll have to come back after this.

[Byron Denniston]

I'll be. I will come right back and we'll discuss the explosion in fine detail.

[Scott Aukerman]

What. Is there any fear that she's going to press the button? It'll blow up and she won't die. That she'll just be like half of her face is melted off and this is all she'll be staggering. Staggering around like a half burnt up zombie or anything like that or.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, that would be terrible.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would be terrible. That's why I bring it up.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I fear it now that you've said it. But. But I think the Queen, she's good. She's seen to every specific herself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. She knows what will kill herself.

[E]

She. I am curious, is she making sure to in the aftermath make sure that the. The people will know that she planned this herself because it could be perceived of as.

[Scott Aukerman]

As an assassination.

[E]

Oh, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

So will she have parting words?

[E]

Will it be revealed?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes, I think so. Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like doing a double bird to the cameras.

[E]

Bye bye.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I've only seen a rough draft of this.

[E]

Thank you. Next.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've seen a ro.

[Byron Denniston]

I've only seen a rough draft of the address and it does say something like here's my final gift to you. And in closing, fuck you Diana. And then she presses this button.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's gonna see Diana in hell. Yes, that's it.

[Byron Denniston]

See you in hell.

[E]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. Yes.

[E]

But I got it really just does show like how much of an impact Diana had on her. You know that her Dying words are about Diana.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes. She despises. She despises to this very day. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this, I mean, so then Charles is going to build his own throne. Is there a, a sort of a period where no one is king because he hasn't built the throne yet?

[Byron Denniston]

No, I think, I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I don't know. Could someone with, could someone with a throne that's already pre built, like, step in and go, no, I'm king, I.

[E]

Have a throne, I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, perhaps then I should not have mentioned this because up to now this has been a complete secret and so no one would have known to get started on a throne.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, anybody, I mean, it takes.

[E]

Anybody from Game of Thrones could go get the prop.

[Scott Aukerman]

It takes about. But it takes about three months to build a throne. So I think at this point, if you got started.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could get in there on June 6th and be like, well, if you're.

[Byron Denniston]

Hearing this, please don't build a throne.

[E]

I'm saying.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about.

[E]

Scott and I are saying is you could build.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do it.

[Byron Denniston]

I could build it and become the King of England.

[E]

I mean, you'd have to watch yourself, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[The Grizz]

My goodness, my.

[Byron Denniston]

What do you mean I'd have to. Why I have to watch myself? Oh, because I'm a royal watcher watching myself. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You wouldn't have to watch your P's and Q's?

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, surely not. That's an interesting idea. What would I do as king? Oh, my God.

[E]

With all that power and access to a spaceship soon. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'd behead people. You would be able to marry whomever you wanted.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I would. Yes. I like your idea. Well, listen, I don't know if it'll work, but why not? I'll get started on a throne.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get started on a throne. We're on a throne.

[E]

So as simple as simply as a hobby it would be. Wouldn't that be great? Also you should YouTube. YouTube it. Oh, you should do YouTube. Like, like, you know, Byron D. Hey, guys. So today, today we're working on the base. You know, if you've, if you've been watching the series so far we've gotten two arms done and we're gonna keep working on this base.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could do a little side like scepter spin off, you know, subscribe button. If you like this, just smash that like button.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes. Recommend to all your friends and all that.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, this would be great. And, and so when you come back on June 6th, I'm presuming you'll be king at this point. Wow.

[E]

Can you imagine having a royal on the show?

[Byron Denniston]

Not just a royal, the King of.

[E]

All King of England. Can you imagine?

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be so good.

[E]

I bet that would be the biggest episode you would ever have.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

June 6th is literally a Monday. So I hope you'll be back on then.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I shall be back on that very day.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you'll be King of England.

[Byron Denniston]

Holy shit. I can't believe it's really this simple.

[E]

Don't second guess this.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just.

[Byron Denniston]

It's all out of the blue. I never imagined myself. I mean, I imagined myself marrying into royalty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, of course.

[E]

Well, you were at one point engaged, if I'm not mistaken, right?

[The Grizz]

Nearly.

[E]

Emilia. Princess Amelia.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, she's not a princess, but I had my sights set on Lady Amelia, lady niece of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of.

[Byron Denniston]

Of Diana. And, well, there was a duel between me and. And her intended filament.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was her intended's name? It was like.

[E]

Oh, we looked it up. It was the Grizz.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Griswold. Is that. Was he one of the Gris.

[Byron Denniston]

Name is Miller. I don't know, but he goes by.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's known as the Grizz.

[Byron Denniston]

Greg Miller or something. And his friends call him the Grizz. But. And he and I had a, A, A duel with swords and swords. And I did lose. But you know what? All this time later, they're still not married, so. You know what I mean, There is something's going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting, I think, you know, especially if you're king.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who could resist marrying a king?

[E]

I mean, get that information out there.

[Byron Denniston]

But I have a thought to challenge him. To challenge him to another duel and get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you do a redo of a redoul?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I survived it. Barely, but I did. I think I can. And my thought this time. This is a bit wild, you know, this is my.

[Scott Aukerman]

If they reboot the Batman all the time, you could do another duel, right?

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely.

[E]

A duel over.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, the duel over. The duel over. Hot deux. You may not know the Grizz is a for a living.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, look at those birds up there.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have birds like that up up in Mary old England? Or I bet they're all sad and rained on all the times that they're just like sopping wet.

[E]

And just like sopping wet birds. That means something else in England.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right.

[Byron Denniston]

Sopping wet birds.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is what one says.

[Byron Denniston]

That is what one says. That was two crows chasing a falcon, I believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why chase A falcon?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, because the falcon wants their babies, and in England, the falcon just gets what he wants. I think the Ravens yield to the falcon.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was super bowl last year, I.

[Byron Denniston]

Believe the Ravens yielded to the falcon.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so.

[Byron Denniston]

I think you may be right. Well, was I. Oh, yes. I'm the Grizz. Do you know what he does for a living?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no clue. What does a guy named the Grizz do for a living?

[Byron Denniston]

He's a water polo instructor.

[E]

No. What I'm afraid sounds even a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not even a player.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, he knows the game inside and out, and my. My plan is to challenge him to a one on one game of water polo.

[Caller/Guest]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why challenge him at what he does best.

[Byron Denniston]

Precisely, to. To all the more humiliate him.

[E]

Are you. Have you played water polo at all?

[Byron Denniston]

Never in my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Byron.

[E]

No, no, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Can you imagine if I were to.

[E]

Best him at the thing that the odds are stacked against you, like, staggeringly.

[Byron Denniston]

It's a wonderful underdog story. I mean, I don't know that I have the time now that I'm. This was my plan to train up and get myself ready and take on the mission.

[E]

Here's what I say. I say build the throne, become king. Then you will have dominion over the Grizz, over Lady Amelia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would he be one of your subjects?

[E]

Could you put him to death?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I don't see why not.

[E]

I mean, why not? You could just take care of this.

[Byron Denniston]

Without the duel to the executioner.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would maybe challenge him to the duel first, see how it works out. And then if it doesn't work out, your first act as king is to put the Grizz to death.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, if it does work out, too. If it does or it doesn't, I think you know what I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want the Grizz sniffing around.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Buckingham Palace.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, gentlemen, this is. This is a wonderful.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a great plan. Do you want to put it out there to the Grizz that. That you're ready to duel?

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely. Listen to me, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's all the way in England, right? So certainly. So hopefully this podcast will reach his ears.

[Byron Denniston]

The Grizz you bested me at. I give it to you. You did. But this time you're going down. Down into the deep end of the water polo pool. I will defeat you in your area of expertise. I hereby challenge you, sir, to a game of water polo for the hand of Lady Amelia Spencer.

[E]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Well, now.

[E]

Now I'm curious, Byron. You still want to marry Lady Amelia because Prior, you were just trying to do that to get on the spaceship in the Netherlands. But now, are you doing it for love?

[Byron Denniston]

I've fallen for it.

[E]

Wow. That is a great love story. Thank you.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. Yes, it is, isn't it? To simply target a woman whom you've.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never spoken to, who never spoken to.

[E]

Just for the benefit of getting off planet.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[E]

And then to fall for her, that's like a real rom com. That's a Nancy Myers right there.

[Byron Denniston]

I agree. And it'll be a wonderful thing to be telling our grandchildren someday.

[E]

It's a beautiful story.

[Byron Denniston]

I have no interest in her whatsoever, except as a ticket off Earth. And then I fell in love.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Byron, I have a little bit of a surprise for you.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, when I said that the Grizz is all the way over there across the pond, I was fibbing a little bit because I happen to know the Grizz's whereabouts. Ah, the Grizz.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, dear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is actually, actually right here in this very backyard of mine.

[Byron Denniston]

I feel that this is not quite.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fair and I wanted to surprise you.

[E]

With him, but is that the Grizz is musically here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please welcome the Grizz.

[The Grizz]

Well, well, well.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I feel I've been. I've been rather shabbily treated here.

[Scott Aukerman]

In what way? Well, you lied to me.

[Byron Denniston]

You lied to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

How did I lie to you other than by admission?

[Byron Denniston]

Told me he was across the pond. This is a very unpleasant. This is a man who stabbed me in the abdomen with a saw.

[The Grizz]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I Willy G. I meant the pond in my backyard, AKA my swimming pool.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. And he was on.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was across there.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I suppose.

[The Grizz]

Do my ears deceive me or did someone challenge me to a game of water polo?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, yes, but not today.

[The Grizz]

Me, a water polo in structure of 31 years of age.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I suppose you're in very good shape.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Guys, guys, we have to take a break, unfortunately. So I know this is a very dramatic moment to take a break after.

[The Grizz]

Speaking of breaks, I'm going to break you in half. Byron Denniston.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, no, you won't.

[Scott Aukerman]

When we come back, we'll have more Byron Denniston. We'll have more the Grizz. Probably a water polo duel.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Right here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right here in the pool.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm not ready.

[Scott Aukerman]

I knew this pool. Of course in handy how?

[E]

Like, when's the last time you had a good pool?

[Scott Aukerman]

Pool? Pool, dude, never. I don't think back here. So. This is incredible. We have more. Jason Mandukas. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just beginning or ready to grow your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website, Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, courses, exclusive tutorials, premium workshops. So much stuff. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Bang Bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain this season Everyone.

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[Byron Denniston]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang we're back. Jason Manzoukas is here from how did this get made? Are you up to 750 episodes of that close?

[E]

We do a lot fewer episodes than you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've blown you out of the water.

[E]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is what one says. And also welcome to Byron Denniston over here.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, here I am.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Who's sweating and perspiring like Prince Andrew cannot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shaking like a leaf.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is that? Before we get to the graves what's been going on with Prince Andrew?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, my God, it's terrible. Well, you know Prince Andrew, you're familiar with this, that he was accused by a woman of. Of having sex with her when she was only 17 and. And assaulting and all this.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Beatles sang about it.

[E]

And he was just like a Jeffrey Epstein.

[Byron Denniston]

Friend of Jeffrey Epstein's. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like his. His wingman.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, a bit. Yes, you may say.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. And so what? Part of the evidence against him was that another third party said, oh, I saw them together at a nightclub and he was drenching sweat and they were dancing and having a good time, and Prince Andrew came forward forcefully and he said, no, that can't have been me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not.

[E]

A bold interview. A bold interview?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. He said, I am not. I'm physically not capable of perspiring. Threw down the gauntlet.

[E]

That is, he said he had a medical condition that. That made him unable to sweat as a result, at which point they produced many pictures of him sweating.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this. You're being entirely unfair. It was a result of the PTSD of having flown a fighter jet during.

[E]

Ever since then.

[Byron Denniston]

Ever since then, he was unable to perspire.

[Scott Aukerman]

A terrible conflict.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, but of course, he's terribly embarrassed of this condition. And so when out in public on a hot day, or when exercising or something like that, he will have his valet spritz him down with water to make it appear that he's sweating. And so those are the photos that you see.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see. That makes sense.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, it makes perfect sense.

[The Grizz]

Look at little Byron Denniston acting like he knows anything about the Royal family.

[Byron Denniston]

I know everything about the royal family. My God.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, Griffin, is that. To be fair, he. He does know a lot about the royal family.

[The Grizz]

He thinks he does.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and then you know more.

[The Grizz]

I'm inside. It aren't idea.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I'm inside. I'm literally inside the walls.

[The Grizz]

Lady Amelia's going to be my bottle, isn't she?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, isn't it interesting? You've been engaged for almost two years now, haven't you? And. And yet no movement toward a wedding date. What's going on there?

[The Grizz]

I does as I please, Byron. I.

[Byron Denniston]

Are you sure the lady isn't having second thoughts? Cold feet and whatnot?

[The Grizz]

She's having third thoughts. I like to engage him again.

[E]

What?

[The Grizz]

First I'd like to engage him, then I engaged her, then I like to engage him again, then I said, but, dear, we're already engaged. Then she forgets and says, I Like to engage him. And again, she remembers the first, forgets the second.

[Byron Denniston]

Are you quite sure? I think after all this time, she must be thinking maybe it's not such a great idea. How did you engage, by the way, the first time? I'm sure it was just.

[E]

Yeah, well, you know what? I don't know. Grizz, have we ever found out your love story with Lady Amelia? What is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

How did you guys meet?

[E]

How did you meet?

[Byron Denniston]

How did you meet?

[Scott Aukerman]

How does a guy named Grizz meet Lady Amelia?

[The Grizz]

Thank you for asking. Yes, Lady Amelia and I met at the discotheque.

[E]

Oh, another very modern reference.

[The Grizz]

Ibiza.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, a disco chicken.

[Byron Denniston]

Ibiza.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, and how. How long ago is this? You've been engaged? Two years. How long have you been dating?

[The Grizz]

We've been. We've known each other for a long time.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[The Grizz]

We were best friends, weren't we?

[E]

Oh, wow. Like a When Harry Met Sally kind of scenario. Friends, first, school, children.

[The Grizz]

No, we don't have Jewish people in England.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a couple.

[The Grizz]

Do you mean like When Bertram met. Met Beatrice?

[E]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the movie.

[E]

That. That. When Harry Met Sally.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where did she have that fake orgasm? It couldn't have been a Katz's Deli.

[The Grizz]

It was an Aaron's.

[Byron Denniston]

And she.

[The Grizz]

And when she. When she finished faking the orgasm, an old. An old lady at the counter turned around and said, I say, that does look ripping.

[Caller/Guest]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

I should like to be served the same thing that she was served.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So you were friends and then just one night, love bloomed.

[The Grizz]

One night love bloomed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[The Grizz]

We was looking at each other across the pool. I was instructing her to play water polo at the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

How is she as a player?

[The Grizz]

She's all right. Not bad.

[E]

Not bad, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did she want to play water polo?

[The Grizz]

I think to get closer to me, to see me with me shirt off.

[E]

Yeah, I get it. You're very, like. You know, you're. You're young. You have, like, an incredible body. A swimmer's body, I'm assuming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you're very wide.

[The Grizz]

Yeah, very wide.

[E]

Yeah. Delts, lats, the whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got those cum gutters.

[E]

Those CGs. You got those UK CGs.

[The Grizz]

We call them sewer semen. Sewers in the UK.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. The dress.

[Byron Denniston]

Rain right into the Thames.

[E]

I heard in Australia they go the opposite way.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes.

[The Grizz]

It goes up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Goes up.

[The Grizz]

So you know my mate, the Zerg.

[Scott Aukerman]

We gotta get the Zerg on the show.

[The Grizz]

We gotta get the Australian Grizz.

[E]

The Australian version of the Grizz. That guy is A lot.

[The Grizz]

You know that every. That everyone in Australia is a mirror version of everyone here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Yeah. So, wait, there's a me there?

[E]

No, no, no. Everyone in the uk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, in the uk, right? No.

[The Grizz]

Oh, here, in hemisphere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[E]

It's hemisphere. It's. It's. It's mirror images of the whole hemisphere.

[The Grizz]

Exactly.

[E]

Wow.

[The Grizz]

Terrifying. Don't ever go.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, were you guys just like in the pool and. And, And. And you kissed or. Well, like, where was your first physical? When did you get physical with Lady Amelia, if you don't mind me asking?

[The Grizz]

Not until the night of the engagement.

[E]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? How sweet.

[The Grizz]

We remain chased until that moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Byron Denniston]

But that's not. You're supposed to remain chased until. Until your wedding day, which, of course may never come.

[The Grizz]

Spoken like a true non. Royal crown.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you're not a royal yet, to be fair.

[Byron Denniston]

Right?

[The Grizz]

I'm closer than he is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Are you, though? I'm building a throne.

[The Grizz]

I've built several thrones over my lifetime.

[Scott Aukerman]

Over your lifetime?

[The Grizz]

My first throne I built.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was five years old, even before Lady Amelia. You were just building thrones?

[The Grizz]

That's right. I was just building thrones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. What do you do with.

[The Grizz]

Mostly I give them to friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's.

[Guest/Other]

Yeah.

[E]

What a nice gift. What a nice. Non obtuse.

[Scott Aukerman]

I built you a throne.

[E]

I built you a throne.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, if there are all these, would you say no?

[E]

Oh, no. I would happily take a throne if someone delivered it to my house.

[The Grizz]

Exactly.

[Byron Denniston]

So then, is it really more of a race at this point? I. I'm to build a throne, and then he's already got one. And then on. On the day of the Jubilee, whoever gets it to the throne room first is the king.

[The Grizz]

Don't you see? What if you're not a peer of the realm? It don't matter, do it?

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you mean by that?

[The Grizz]

You're just a nobody. You're one of the rebel, one of the peasants.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

But I'll have built a throne and gotten it to the throne room first. And I will be king. Don't you see?

[The Grizz]

Well, if you get into the throne room first. But there's no chance of that happening because you're going to drown during our water polo dune.

[E]

Byron, you. Look, Byron. I'm just curious because I don't know if we've ever gotten to this. How old are you?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes. 58 years old.

[E]

58 years old.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's oldest.

[E]

And the grizz is 31. Did you say earlier?

[The Grizz]

31.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why take him on in water polo.

[E]

Why lay down his particular gauntlet?

[Byron Denniston]

The whole idea was to have a few months practice at water polo so that I could humiliate him. But now here we are.

[Scott Aukerman]

A few months?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[The Grizz]

Would you Adam it Few months?

[Byron Denniston]

I was going to work on it every single day for about three months.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many minutes a day?

[Byron Denniston]

How many minutes?

[Scott Aukerman]

Up to 60 every second. That wouldn't have come, had it.

[Byron Denniston]

Of course it would. I'm a, you know, I'm a natural athlete. I really am. Anything I try to take up I do rather well.

[E]

Sure as all the British are certainly.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes. Bad mitten, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I. I think your only hope here is to do some sort of like airbud situation where you substitute a dog for you or something.

[The Grizz]

Oh, sorry, that's your answer? There's something in the rule books that says a dog cannot play war polo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, damn.

[Byron Denniston]

That's too bad.

[The Grizz]

I was born in a swimming pool.

[Byron Denniston]

No, that happens.

[The Grizz]

What do you mean, what happened?

[Scott Aukerman]

Your mom just was swimming.

[The Grizz]

It was on purpose.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[E]

Like a water birth at home.

[The Grizz]

It was a water birth at home. And I was raised in a swimming pool for the first five years of me life.

[E]

Now that's even more interesting how. How like your home was a swimming pool.

[The Grizz]

My home was a swimming pool. Wow. They would bring me my tea in the pool on one of those little inflatable trays and then push it over to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would it be me? Made from pool water?

[Byron Denniston]

No.

[The Grizz]

You can't drink pool.

[E]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

Filthy. You've got a. You've got a baby in there living in the pool at all times.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were a filthy pool baby.

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely disgusting.

[The Grizz]

You have no idea.

[Caller/Guest]

In.

[Byron Denniston]

In.

[The Grizz]

In Britain to be a pool baby is a great status symbol.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Yeah, I guess. I mean, is that true, Byron?

[Byron Denniston]

Not that I've heard it sounds absolutely.

[The Grizz]

Well, you wouldn't hear it, would you?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, if it's. I know all about it. If it's a good thing. If it's a good thing. I know it.

[The Grizz]

What Byron was. What you don't understand is that we feed you, you people a certain amount of facts that are not true.

[Byron Denniston]

That used to be true before Byron Denison became a Royal Watcher. And I know absolutely everything. Everything about the royals and what they get up to.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's some of the disinformation though that has been seeded out to the public before?

[The Grizz]

Well, that. That Diana died.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not true. What? This is going to change the end of that musical Jay that you're watching.

[The Grizz]

Nonsense.

[Byron Denniston]

I was in the tunnel in Paris that very night. I was in the tunnel. I saw.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did they make a switch?

[The Grizz]

What did you see?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, what did. Yeah, you were there. What did you see?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I saw the crash.

[Scott Aukerman]

I saw.

[Byron Denniston]

I saw death occur.

[Scott Aukerman]

You called, right? Oh, you were the photographer who was chasing her, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Crap.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not supposed to say that.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, no, no, no. Let's. I wasn't in power.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll edit it out. But. So you. You think you saw a fiery crash? What actually happened?

[The Grizz]

Did by any chance you see a woman with Diana's haircut who had a very slender neck and head?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, yes, of course.

[The Grizz]

That was a mop, dear boy.

[Byron Denniston]

What are you talking about?

[The Grizz]

We cut and colored a mop head. Look like lady Diana.

[Byron Denniston]

No, Mrs. Spencer, what are you talking about? Was it really dirty, though?

[The Grizz]

Oh, yeah.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was. He was.

[E]

You're saying we the Grizz as if you were part of the doing of this. But my understanding would be you would be maybe four or five at the time.

[The Grizz]

I just gotten out of the pool. I wanted to build my own throne. Mom said. No, no, no.

[Caller/Guest]

First.

[The Grizz]

First put this mop in the car.

[E]

First, you help us with this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So they're enlisting children in this endeavor.

[The Grizz]

Children? You don't understand. You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You.

[The Grizz]

Here in the States, you need a workforce of children like we have in the uk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's true.

[The Grizz]

Every job that adults do, children also do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well.

[Byron Denniston]

I agree with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[The Grizz]

Child doctors, child lawyers. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[The Grizz]

Child pickpockets, even.

[Byron Denniston]

Even. Yes. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is like something out of the fast franchise, isn't it? I mean, where there.

[E]

There is some sort of switcheroo.

[Scott Aukerman]

A switcheroo? You think someone's dead, but then they show up five movies later.

[Byron Denniston]

Did Jodie think that the mop was Diana or was he dating a mop? Did he think he was transporting a mop across Paris?

[The Grizz]

If you. If you were paying attention, you probably noticed right before. Before the crash, he did a big double take.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I heard something about that. Like, it was almost a triple take.

[The Grizz]

It was like the switch was so expert and so quick. Really, he didn't know until the last moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[The Grizz]

Is this unpleasant?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this tough for you to hear, Byron?

[The Grizz]

This feels unpleasant to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Byron Denniston]

Where has she been all this time? No, no, I can't. Listen. I just. I don't accept it. I don't believe it's true. I think the Gree is being. Is having us on. I think it's absurd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you having a laugh?

[E]

Are you taking the piss?

[The Grizz]

I'm taking the piss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that right?

[The Grizz]

I'm taking the piss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so this is not true.

[The Grizz]

There is everyone who is reported dead actually is dead.

[Byron Denniston]

That's a conspiracy.

[The Grizz]

I can clear up. Nobody still alive who's ever died.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're all still dead in England and anywhere else.

[The Grizz]

Everywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tupac, Elvis. They're all.

[The Grizz]

You can't figure out dead.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, with the exception of Olivia Newton John's husband.

[Caller/Guest]

He.

[Byron Denniston]

He.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he's.

[Byron Denniston]

He was the guy successfully.

[E]

He nailed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but that was Australia. Who is he here?

[E]

Here.

[The Grizz]

Who is it?

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah. Maybe he is the Andy Kaufman of the United States.

[The Grizz]

It gets very confusing whenever there's a country award show and Keith Urban and Nicole Hitman show up in America. Because then down. Down under there's like the. The Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman of America.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[E]

I think it's Tim McGraw.

[Guest/Other]

That's right.

[E]

Or no, probably not. Because Faith Hill is.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Brad Paisley in the. The Woman from the Father of the Bride franchise.

[E]

Yes. Kimberly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kimberly Guilfoyle.

[Byron Denniston]

Williams.

[Scott Aukerman]

Williams. What if Brad Paisley and Kimberly Guilfoyle. So they just have to swap, really. So they're.

[The Grizz]

They have no choice. They're transported.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[The Grizz]

They find themselves was in Sydney right in front of the Opera House.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like Romeo and Juliet. I was gonna say Philip Baker Hall. He was in the movie Sydney.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mean Heartache Heart 8, aka Sydney. Oh, yeah. Y.

[E]

A movie from. Not this century.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nope. Sorry. If you're looking for something from the 2000s, you're out of luck.

[Byron Denniston]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, Byron, we got to set up.

[E]

I already set up a net across the board.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many nets do we need? Just the one.

[The Grizz]

Is that just the one we'll do?

[Byron Denniston]

Listen, I don't know if this is awkward or a strange thing to say, but. But, but the. Grizz, would you mind teaching me how to play water? One lesson.

[The Grizz]

One more.

[Scott Aukerman]

One lesson before we. That would be sporting, wouldn't it?

[The Grizz]

It would be a bit sporting. It would be a sporting thing to do.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I agree.

[The Grizz]

Very well. Borrowed.

[Byron Denniston]

All right.

[The Grizz]

Shall teach you one water polo lesson.

[Byron Denniston]

And after one lesson, I will defeat you in a duel of water polo for the hand of Lady Amelia Spencer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds good. Well, tell you what. Do you want to do the lesson while we take a break or do you want to do it on mic?

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[The Grizz]

During a break.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we'll do it during the break. Okay, so let's take. Let's take a break. You can take a five minute water polo lesson.

[Byron Denniston]

That's fine. Just to learn the root of this.

[The Grizz]

Three minutes more than I need.

[Byron Denniston]

All right.

[The Grizz]

Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. So we're.

[Byron Denniston]

It'll take me that long to get into my bathing costume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You're wearing a one piece. Like. Like an old 20s.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[The Grizz]

Okay. Of course, I'm wearing a very European Speedo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's a Bora.

[The Grizz]

It's extremely European.

[E]

It leaves nothing to the imagination.

[The Grizz]

You're welcome.

[Byron Denniston]

Whereas I allow your imagination to roam free. What could be under this?

[E]

There's lumps that. I'm not sure why. There are lumps there.

[The Grizz]

There's lumps. There's lumps, there's lumps.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do they call that band in England?

[E]

The Queen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. What do they call Queen?

[The Grizz]

The Majesty.

[Byron Denniston]

Okay, I tricked you.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more Jason Manzoukas. More Byron Dennison. More the Grizz. We'll be right back with more company Baby Hamsis.

[Guest/Other]

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[E]

More.

[Guest/Other]

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[Caller/Guest]

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[Announcer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang. Bang. We are back. Jason Mandukas is over there by the pool.

[E]

Pool?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's refereeing. Oh, yeah, we have. We're completing the lesson over here. Byron Dennison is in the pool along with the Grizz. Now, Byron, I'm noticing that you. It doesn't appear you really know how to swim.

[Byron Denniston]

I. I thought I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you think that you knew?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I thought I knew all of the swimming.

[Scott Aukerman]

You thought you knew how to swim, but what did you actually know how to do?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, I can walk in a pool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, no, it's.

[The Grizz]

Doesn't even know how to float.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I'm learning.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're just sinking like a stone. Okay. So that. Thus endeth the lesson. Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for the lesson.

[Byron Denniston]

I think I'll be all right. I think.

[E]

I think the Grizz had to rescue you multiple times during the lesson.

[Byron Denniston]

He didn't have to.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had to administer cpr.

[E]

You swallowed quite a bit of pool water.

[Byron Denniston]

He chose to behave as though he were rescuing me. I. I really didn't need it.

[The Grizz]

You chose to behave as if you had been rescued. Well, choices, choices, choices.

[Scott Aukerman]

He kept. He kept having to do the compressions on your chest. You were saying, annie, are you okay? The entire time.

[The Grizz]

And we don't do the mouth to mouth anymore, but I did it anyway.

[Scott Aukerman]

The final indignity.

[The Grizz]

As close as you'll get to touching Lady Amelia's lips.

[E]

The transitive property of kissing.

[Byron Denniston]

An outrage. I did not need mouth to mouth resuscitation. Not at all. I. Yes, I did get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you feel like you know how to play water pillow now? Because I. I. As you got into your bathing costume.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You took off your robe. You. You admitted that you had no idea what the rules were.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, that's correct. Well, I. I hadn't taken any of those lessons. I intended to, but Actually we did. We covered quite a bit in those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So you tread water and.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, I have to get it into the goal over there, over the net and then. And. And there'll be some treading water. Yes. Which I think I can do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So we'll have this at the end of the show. We'll do this after plugs, I guess.

[Byron Denniston]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

That'll be very exciting.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes, I think so. And I do believe you're probably right that one of us. Us will drown.

[The Grizz]

One of us will.

[E]

You know, that's gonna. That is a. That is a way to like really definitively say, like who is gonna marry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this a battle to the drown?

[Byron Denniston]

Let's do that. How about it?

[The Grizz]

I haven't played water polo to the death in quite some time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it. Were those like intramural matches that you.

[E]

Used to play back in your days at K University?

[The Grizz]

One at a time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, the university.

[The Grizz]

Isaac, were you in the ancient days? Of course. It was played to the death.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, when they first started the How. It must be an old, old sport.

[The Grizz]

It's 10,000 years old.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. What did they use as the ball back then?

[The Grizz]

A rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just a rock.

[The Grizz]

Any sport now that's played used to be played with a rock.

[Byron Denniston]

And where was it played? It must have been before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Swimming pool. Loch Ness.

[The Grizz]

Atlantis.

[Byron Denniston]

Lost city of.

[The Grizz]

At least Atlantis, the little city of Atlantis. Not lost to those in the know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been to Atlantis?

[The Grizz]

Can't say. Can't say.

[E]

Is Atlantis a city, A lost city? Because it is now a city of. Of royals. It's. It's. It's like only royals and where. Where royals.

[Byron Denniston]

If that were the case, I would know it.

[The Grizz]

Not everything hidden is lost.

[E]

Oh, interesting.

[The Grizz]

I'll leave it at that.

[E]

Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean if you can wink's as.

[The Grizz]

Good as a nod to oblige, man.

[E]

True.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you can't escape the earth via spaceship, I guess going underneath the levels.

[E]

Of the water like Remender's book. Low.

[Scott Aukerman]

Low. Yeah. I mean that would be one way to.

[The Grizz]

So many things in the ocean that human beings have yet to see.

[E]

We know more about outer space than we know about the deep, the deepest depths of the ocean.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had a marine biologist on the show last week and she didn't come with very many facts.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh really?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have to admit about.

[The Grizz]

She took a. About to see through fish with the. With the little light. Light bulb.

[E]

Oh, that's some crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Came up at some point.

[E]

You see Blue Planet 2, it's next.

[The Grizz]

Level they're my favorite.

[Scott Aukerman]

We mainly talked about finding Dory and well, that her friend Ly.

[Byron Denniston]

All of the knowledge of the sea is in that film.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And also in the under the Sea song that Sebastian the crab sings. Oh, it's hotter under the water. Etc. I have to ask because we. This came up today. There. There's some Rock and Roll hall of.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That came up today. And you have a tangential relationship to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. The spaceship is due to take off because of it. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

The issue is that there's this fellow. I won't say his name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is. We cannot say his name.

[Byron Denniston]

Cannot take.

[E]

We mustn't say his name.

[Announcer]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

And he has some scheme. No, not quite.

[E]

Not he who Shall Not Be Named.

[Byron Denniston]

No. He has a scheme to have some band I also won't mention inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. And if. If that happens, it will be sort of the apocalypse. Really.

[Scott Aukerman]

Apocalypse will come about and that. And that's why people are trying to escape the Earth via spaceship.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, that's exactly right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So. So this is sort of a countdown to that. Now, Shannon was not on the short list this year. Yes. And Dolly Parton was right. But she just took herself out of consideration. Which means there's an opening.

[Byron Denniston]

There's an opening on the nominee list.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[E]

Do you think she's stepped aside on purpose for Shannon?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think she wants it to happen.

[Byron Denniston]

To make room for Shaun on all. I don't know.

[E]

Do you think she's trying to bring about like some sort of Ragnarok kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that maybe Dollywood is a spaceship.

[E]

Oh, interesting. Like that is America's going to take off as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's America's Buckingham Palace.

[The Grizz]

How did you find out?

[Byron Denniston]

Wow.

[The Grizz]

Really?

[Byron Denniston]

So America. America's royalty will all convene at Dollywood and take off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's America's royalty? Who do we got?

[Byron Denniston]

Who do we have?

[Scott Aukerman]

The aforementioned Kimberly Guilfoyle.

[Byron Denniston]

Kimberly. Yes, of course.

[The Grizz]

Meghan Markle.

[E]

I guess Meghan and Harry because they're here. A lot of people say that the Kennedys are the equivalent of American royalty.

[Scott Aukerman]

So my assumption, Cheryl Hines's husband's husband.

[The Grizz]

The V.J. kennedy.

[E]

Maria. Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Scott Aukerman]

All the greats will be there.

[E]

Wow.

[The Grizz]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

What a poultry collection.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. But some good genes in there for breeding.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, Harry and raise it quite a bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people are going to want to breed with Dolly, if you know what I mean.

[E]

What do you mean? She's Quite old. I suspect she's gone through menopause.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe. Maybe. But yeah, I mean, I think Shauna and Akin could get in there. Is that the plan? Do you know anything about this or.

[Byron Denniston]

You know, I. I occasionally get emails from this fellow whose name.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is his email address? Oh, boy.

[Byron Denniston]

It's just what you would expect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, it's his [e-mail].

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes, yes, I'm afraid so.

[Scott Aukerman]

[e-mail].

[Byron Denniston]

And it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet he has a hot mail. Yeah, I almost said it. Hotmail account where he has a hot.

[Guest/Other]

Whatever.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I think it's a prodigy, in fact. But he's, he's. He has a different plan.

[The Grizz]

What's up at Hotmail?

[Byron Denniston]

He's got a different plan at Hotmail.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[E]

Hotmail.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. He was about to. He was gonna try to be a member of Sha.

[E]

Well, I think what we realized at the end of the last episode was because all the members of Shanana had become Tina Turner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[E]

Nobody was sh. So he was going to be wanted to. He could become.

[The Grizz]

Are you talking about Hot Dog? Please, please.

[Byron Denniston]

Because it's one thing to say the name, but if that whole sentence was said, it really would conjure him.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's up, Hot Dog?

[E]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, guys. What's going on?

[E]

We didn't mean to do this.

[Byron Denniston]

You didn't.

[The Grizz]

It almost seemed as though you did. The most enthusiastic entrance I've ever seen.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I'm excited.

[Scott Aukerman]

This.

[Byron Denniston]

This is the best time of my life.

[The Grizz]

I've been hoping for a chance to.

[Byron Denniston]

Come and update you guys on what's going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to my backya hard Hot Dog.

[Byron Denniston]

It's really nice to be here.

[E]

Great to see you again, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

You brought your skis. Of course I did.

[E]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

Because I knew you had a pool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, you'll be excited to hear it's not. There's going to be some pool action at the end. Maybe you can get in on it.

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe you could guard the well.

[E]

I bet. I bet Hot Dog would be a better water polo player than Byron Dennist in. I bet. Because he spent so much time in the water. He's a real water dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Check the rule book. Is there anything in the rule book about a hot dog playing?

[The Grizz]

Hello, Hot Dog.

[E]

Hi. Hey, Hot Dog. This is the Grizz. Have you guys. Have you guys met?

[Byron Denniston]

We met.

[The Grizz]

Yeah, yeah, we've met. As a fellow sports enthusiast, of course we've met. Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Right, right.

[The Grizz]

There's a big convention every year of every. Everything you can do in the water. Everybody gets together.

[Scott Aukerman]

So anything to do with water?

[The Grizz]

Anything that you could do in water?

[Scott Aukerman]

In water? Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

It is a huge convention.

[The Grizz]

Or on water.

[E]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Navies from around the world.

[The Grizz]

It's sailors, treasure hunters.

[Byron Denniston]

It's ice cream fisherman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brock Lovett would be there as well.

[The Grizz]

Oh, do you know him?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know Brock Lovett.

[The Grizz]

Oh, yeah, he's there every year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is he here? Hey. Hey.

[The Grizz]

Somebody say my name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brock. Love it.

[The Grizz]

Hey, Scott. Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, it's me, Brock, treasure hunter.

[E]

Brock, of course. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[E]

It's really great to meet you, bro.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys have met? I don't know that we have.

[The Grizz]

We haven't met before.

[E]

Of course I know who you are, but, you know, I'm fan.

[The Grizz]

I love wet treasure.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Byron Dennist.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, hello. How are you? You're a treasure hunter.

[The Grizz]

Specifically wet treasure.

[Scott Aukerman]

He doesn't. Yeah, he doesn't with anything that's, like, buried.

[E]

So you're like the opposite of Indiana Jones. You know, he does everything like, you know, deserts, but he's not real. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not like Brock Lovick.

[E]

Not like Brock, but Indiana Jones.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a good question. Would Indiana Jones chase a treasure if it were underwater?

[E]

Like, would Indiana Jones go to Atlantis?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I bet he would.

[The Grizz]

That'll be in the new.

[Byron Denniston]

Maybe a video game, right?

[E]

Oh, maybe.

[The Grizz]

I think there was a video game where Indiana Jones. You know, I mean, sometimes you need something to do while you're going to. Is this what I sound like, by the way?

[E]

I mean, it's pretty close.

[The Grizz]

I haven't been me in a while.

[E]

It's pretty close.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little bit of a sore throat.

[Byron Denniston]

I feel that way every time, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every time. This is Hot Dog, by the way.

[Byron Denniston]

What's going on?

[The Grizz]

We know each other. Of course. We know each other, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

So all of you guys get together at the convention?

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely. I've. I've skied over this guy hundreds of times.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's been searching for treasure. You've skied over him?

[The Grizz]

One of my favorite things to do is look up at the guys that are doing stuff on the water, right? And like, do they know I'm in the water? I don't know if I sound like me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's been nice seeing you, Brock.

[The Grizz]

I sound like somebody.

[E]

Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Hey, Brock, one last question. When you're finishing playing a video game.

[Byron Denniston]

Game over, man.

[E]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

See you later, Brock.

[E]

Take care.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say hi to Shibby on your way out.

[Caller/Guest]

Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Chimney's still here. So Grizz and Hot Dog. You guys know each other now? Hot dog. We. Something came up.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we wanted to. To alert you to it, but. Dolly Parton, do you know the famous big titted country star?

[E]

Have some respect. Have some respect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aunt to Miley Cyrus, I think Godmother or God. Yeah, whatever.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, is that right?

[E]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

I didn't know that. That's cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know her?

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, I know Dolly Parton.

[The Grizz]

Not personally.

[Scott Aukerman]

She. You know, she was up for the Rock and Roll hall of Fame this year. We haven't checked in since the nominations were announced.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't care about those nominations.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't?

[Byron Denniston]

None of that matters to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hot dog.

[Byron Denniston]

I have a whole different angle, you guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[E]

We came up with it last.

[Byron Denniston]

Last time we were here. It seemed like a long shot, but I. I have pulled it off as far as I can. This is what we realized because all of the members of Shanana changed their name from Sha Na Na to Tina Turner. At that point, nobody was using the name Shaanana.

[E]

Correct.

[Byron Denniston]

And we realized that if I recruited into the new band Sha Na Na, a bunch of people who were already in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, then Sha Na Na would have been in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[E]

Fame.

[The Grizz]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So who do you have?

[Byron Denniston]

Okay, well, now.

[E]

But we. What we figured out, though, was you. Your dream. Your dream is to be a member of Shana. So it's a real. You have to make a Sophie's Choice here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, exactly.

[E]

You can either be in Shanana and have your dream come true that way, or Shaanana can be in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, but without you as a member.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, at this point, there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's the.

[Byron Denniston]

Here's the deal. I am in Shanana right now. I am in.

[Scott Aukerman]

So that's huge. That's why Shanana has not ascended yet is because you're a member.

[Byron Denniston]

It's me.

[The Grizz]

Well done.

[Byron Denniston]

You and a bunch of Rock and roll. Hulk. Well, I'll tell you, I started out, I went out. I went out to Paul McCartney on bass, Phil Collins on drums, Keith Richards.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Jimmy Can't Play Drugs Anymore.

[Byron Denniston]

Dueling well. Yeah, I know now, but that's okay.

[E]

Is mostly an acapella band.

[Scott Aukerman]

Capella.

[Byron Denniston]

But all I got turned down by all those guys. Oh, no. They all said no for one reason or another.

[The Grizz]

What was Bruce Springsteen going to do?

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Caller/Guest]

What?

[The Grizz]

What was Bruce Springsteen going through?

[Scott Aukerman]

He was going to share a mic.

[Byron Denniston]

He was going to sing.

[The Grizz]

Yeah, he was going to sing.

[Byron Denniston]

He was Going to share a mic with somebody. Well, now I got Mike Pinder, keyboardist of the Moody Blues, 81 years old. Okay. I got Tommy Hunt, singer with the flamingos. 89. Lenny Davidson, guitar for the Dave Clark Five.

[The Grizz]

He's the baby.

[Guest/Other]

80.

[E]

The kid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, kid. Come on in.

[E]

Over here. It's those three and me.

[The Grizz]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

They're all in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[Scott Aukerman]

How does it feel you're a member of Shanana? It is incredible.

[Byron Denniston]

It's wonderful. It's the fulfillment of a dream.

[E]

What song are you guys playing live?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you touring?

[Byron Denniston]

We have not done a gig yet. Shananna's next gig is coming up October 30th. It's the Mal Shop Memories Cruise from Hollows Eve. Well, it goes all the way from October 30 to November 6. The mall shop Memories Cruise. They're playing it in this.

[E]

Can you imagine being on that cruise?

[The Grizz]

Hot dog.

[E]

I have.

[The Grizz]

I have to ask you a question.

[Byron Denniston]

Okay. All right.

[The Grizz]

I don't want to dash your oaks. Have you checked to make sure all of these men are still alive in the last hour? You did mention Jimmy Page a little bit ago. Is he dead?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. No, he's.

[E]

No, Jim Page is alive.

[The Grizz]

Joan Bonham.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes. Yes, you're right. Well, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

I mean, that was a big part of it to like. Because there's all these people I wanted to reach out to that are dead. So a lot of it was like, is this person alive? And all these people are. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Congratulations.

[E]

I can't believe you got the guy from the Flamingos.

[Byron Denniston]

I know, man, but here's the.

[E]

I can't believe that Dave Clark 5 is in the Rock and roll.

[The Grizz]

You bet.

[Byron Denniston]

But here's the thing.

[The Grizz]

What's your favorite Dave Clark Five song?

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll go around and we're the Dave Clark Five.

[E]

What is the Dave Clark Five? Like the song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Their best album is their best of.

[Byron Denniston]

I agree. I agree. Well, there's five of them, but not anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Though.

[E]

I like. I'm partial to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Dave.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, that's the best one, right?

[The Grizz]

I like it's Mr. Clark to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

So.

[Byron Denniston]

But here's. This is the. This is what's amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell us.

[Byron Denniston]

I think if I officially withdrew from the band today, the prophecy would come true.

[Guest/Other]

If you.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you were to just vocally on mic, say, I resign from Shaanana.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[E]

The earth angels would come out of the sky and everybody would get a job.

[Scott Aukerman]

The spaceships would take off. I mean, obviously the American one and the. The one in the Netherlands.

[The Grizz]

Sorry, Hot Dog. What do you do in Shana?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Before every song. Yeah.

[The Grizz]

And whenever it feels right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And do the other guys know Shanan, or are you forced to sing Flamingo songs? The Dave Clark Five songs?

[E]

Are you guys doing Nights in White Satin? Like, what's going on?

[The Grizz]

It's tricky.

[Byron Denniston]

They don't have email. And so just talking to them is like relaying messages through their adult children. And so a lot of things are not quite known. But we have until October for our first gig. I think it's going to come together, but I don't know if they know.

[E]

So you are, at this point, more committed to following through as a member of Sha Nana than you are about bringing about the prophecy at this moment. But here, enjoy it, because you wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Until you can do the prophecy at any time.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, but here's the thing. What if this version of Sha Na Na got into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what we talk about.

[E]

Hot dog.

[Byron Denniston]

It's not gonna, like, legitimately get in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's not gonna happen.

[Byron Denniston]

Why do you say it's not gonna happen? These guys have already gotten in.

[E]

Yeah, but with bands that had, like, really. That had real chart success.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, Jay, at this point, I mean.

[E]

Moody Blues, Knights in White sand, the Flamingos. The Flamingos song, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, hey. Where they're Flamingos. But super. This is a super group. Almost at this point. That's exactly what it is. Like, they. They cut the line almost in the.

[The Grizz]

Rock and Roll Cream in the hall of Fame.

[Byron Denniston]

Cream is.

[E]

I believe they are.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

The Cream deserve to be in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hall of Fame, Probably.

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely. No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think so?

[E]

Only because. Yes, only because they were.

[Byron Denniston]

They were already Rock hall members. Maybe. Probably one of them was.

[E]

I don't think. I mean, Clapton for sure, but I don't think Ginger Baker or Jack Bruce were. Should Clapton step down because he's anti Vax? Him and Van Mor.

[The Grizz]

This bs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want this BS no more.

[Byron Denniston]

He might be available for the new sh.

[E]

You might be able to get clapped in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right now. Robert Cray is no longer speaking to him.

[E]

If you take a very hard anti vax stance in the new Sha now, you might be able to get Clampton and Van Van Morrison.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, my God. I'd be willing. And you guys, have you gotten the vaccine? Have I gotten the vaccine?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hell, no, man.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm out there on the water. On the water.

[E]

Sea in the past said there's nothing that salt water can't cure.

[Byron Denniston]

That's exactly right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nothing. Byron, what do you think about all this?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, it's alarming, really, to think that all this man would need to do is say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just purely say, I resign from Shah.

[Byron Denniston]

And then suddenly the world is but him and not me.

[Scott Aukerman]

But he won't do it.

[Byron Denniston]

He will.

[E]

It's so interesting that he, in so many ways, controls your destiny.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, true. Well, all of us, really.

[The Grizz]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

That's how our destinies. Yes. And if he were only to do that, the world would end and it would be too late. You know, but you get on the ship.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's what I'm saying. Okay, He. Hot Dog, don't listen to this for. Go try out the pool. Try out your skis, if you don't mind.

[Byron Denniston]

Okay, here's what I'm saying. I'm listening to Grizz.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not sure if you should be, but I'll let you. My plan is a secret plan, but maybe you can listen. I don't know. All right, you're dueling this.

[E]

Am I supposed to be listening?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, Jay, you're good.

[E]

Okay. Okay, good.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're dueling Grizz to the drown.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here in a second.

[Byron Denniston]

To the drown. To the drown.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've established there's nothing in the rule book that says a Hot Dog can't.

[E]

Be a D to the D. We call that a D to the D.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the D, obviously.

[E]

A duel to the drown.

[Byron Denniston]

A D to the D. Yes. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

If Hot Dog's out of the way.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then our fates are no longer tied to him.

[E]

Wait, how would Hot Dog be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, if he pounds in this duel.

[E]

How would Hot Dog do?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I could nominate him as my proxy.

[E]

Oh, I get it now.

[The Grizz]

As your second.

[Byron Denniston]

I could make him. Yes. I make him my dueling proxy, which really is probably for the best because.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have, at this point, a fair.

[Byron Denniston]

Amount of water in my lungs.

[The Grizz]

Now, this changes everything, potentially, because Hot Dog has to know how to swim in order to be a water skier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And he could probably use it. Those skis in the game. There's nothing in the rulebook against that.

[E]

Still, let me ask you this, and this is like a pretty important question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[E]

Do we know. Can Hot Dog die?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Have we done anything about that?

[The Grizz]

That's a good question to bring up about anyone better safe than.

[E]

So I feel like we have thought him dead before, but that has not been true. Or am I wrong?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that someone who changed his heart or the.

[Byron Denniston]

No, that is yes, it's really been a matter of locating his h. Wasn't he shot?

[E]

Wasn't he shot with a hot dog?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't remember gun.

[E]

I don't remember any of the mythology.

[The Grizz]

We had to check the replace somewhere else.

[Byron Denniston]

That's exactly what happened. Gentlemen.

[E]

Will God. Yep.

[Byron Denniston]

Hi there. I've been lurking behind that palm tree.

[E]

I thought I heard a clip clop of a horse approaching.

[Byron Denniston]

I rode up my horse and the two of us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's hard to get up this hill.

[Byron Denniston]

Very slender horse.

[Scott Aukerman]

You needed a pack mule as well to get up here. Everyone who was on the ship show in the backyard needs to take a horse the last mile of the hill.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, but anyways, I just popped in to confirm that. Yep, I shot a hot dog with a hot dog bullet out of a bun gun.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just popped in to confirm that?

[Byron Denniston]

That's all.

[E]

And this is just a quick pop.

[Byron Denniston]

Just quick pop.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was quick confirm quick pop.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, I was trying to shoot him in the heart, but he had moved his heart and that's all. But he can die. As soon as you locate the heart, he can die.

[E]

Okay. Thank you so much. Salty.

[Byron Denniston]

But I have no idea where that heart is.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he's. I mean, he must move it every hour just to be safe.

[Byron Denniston]

Who knows?

[E]

It might be just always on the move. Yeah, it might just be always moving.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like Lenny Kravitz, a future Rock and Roll hall of Famer. Always on the run.

[Byron Denniston]

But it won't. It won't matter if you drown him. I like your plan.

[The Grizz]

Did someone say always on the move?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who?

[E]

Lenny Kravitz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alimony Tony?

[The Grizz]

No.

[E]

Who? Lenny Kravitz, maybe?

[The Grizz]

No, not Lenny Kravitz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is this?

[The Grizz]

Who do you think it is?

[E]

Oh, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

La Peterson.

[Byron Denniston]

That's right.

[The Grizz]

The smooth.

[Scott Aukerman]

The smooth criminal. Whoa, whoa.

[E]

So many guest stars today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. The Smooth Criminal.

[The Grizz]

Now, I can confirm that Hot Dog has never died, but perhaps has faked his own death once or twice.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've helped him fake his own death, Owl?

[The Grizz]

Yes, but he always chooses the same identity, Hot Dog.

[Byron Denniston]

It's very confusing.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how long does his fake death last? Usually an afternoon.

[Byron Denniston]

What a fucking idiot. When I faked my death, I had the smarts to change my name to Walton Dilcox.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. I remember.

[Byron Denniston]

This is a idiot.

[The Grizz]

He never changed his name to Dot Hog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hot Dog. Dot Hog.

[Byron Denniston]

Hogging up all them dots.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. So you've worked with Hot Dog in the past? Hey, Hot Dog, come back here. You can stop practicing. Hey, look who it is.

[Byron Denniston]

What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Take off your hoodie.

[The Grizz]

It's Carlo for city.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry. Carlifer's hoodie.

[The Grizz]

Hello, Hot Dog. Hey.

[E]

Yeah, I know.

[The Grizz]

Al Peterson. Hey.

[E]

Hey, man.

[Byron Denniston]

Hey, I got to fake my own death.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[The Grizz]

I don't want to take your money again.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, no. Yeah, I got to, because I got into a real fight with the water skiing hall of fame down there.

[E]

Poke.

[Byron Denniston]

Florida.

[The Grizz]

Let me ask you.

[Byron Denniston]

Those guys are coming for me if you die.

[E]

Hot dog. Florida.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, who said Florida? Oh, it sounds safe. We're safe. We're safe. Come on in. It's jw.

[The Grizz]

Hey, yeah.

[E]

Hey, JW Vigilante crime buster.

[Scott Aukerman]

JW Stillwater.

[E]

That's right.

[The Grizz]

I'm a vigilante crime buster. That's what I call myself. And I just got off my fanboat.

[E]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to the back.

[E]

I don't wanna, like. I don't want to, like, set two people against each other, but there is also a smooth criminal here. Jws.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guest/Other]

What?

[The Grizz]

You know I hate crime.

[E]

I know. That's why I bring it up to you.

[The Grizz]

That's my cue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say bye to Shimmy on your way out.

[E]

I was gonna say, if you faked your own death, you would be out of Shaanana.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, here's a question. And this is maybe a question for J.W. stillwater, because he knows the law.

[The Grizz]

I got time for two more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, good. I only have one. If Hot Dog Hot Dog go splash in the pool again.

[E]

No problem.

[Byron Denniston]

Bye, Dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

If Hot Dog dies in this duel to the drown, then every member of Sha Na Na will be in the rock and roll correct of fame.

[E]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then everyone will ascend.

[E]

Then the rapture or whatever will happen.

[Caller/Guest]

This is a question for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think so. Is that legal?

[The Grizz]

I don't have the first idea what y' all talking about. You just saying words.

[E]

Hot Dog dude.

[The Grizz]

To the drown. Sh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, sh. Is something you should know about.

[The Grizz]

I mean, I guess, like the band.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. John Bowser. Bman.

[The Grizz]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although no longer I know.

[The Grizz]

I mostly know him from Hollywood Squad.

[Scott Aukerman]

But. But, Jay, what do you think? I mean, maybe we shouldn't be substituting Hot Dog in here. Because if he dies, then suddenly our world is over.

[E]

Well, and also, like. And not for nothing, I do feel as though this is a duel between Byron Denniston and the Grizz. And it is for the hand of Lady Amelia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Grizz.

[E]

You know what I mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Wait a minute. What just happened? Am I back in the pool.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're back in the pool. You're back in the duel, at least.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, dear.

[The Grizz]

Back in the pool. Back in the duel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hot dog. Come on back. Come on back. Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, how's that go? Yeah. By the way, you parked your fan boat in my pool. It's a fan boat. I know, but couldn't you park on the street or something? I mean, it's a fan boat. And how did you get into the pool, by the way? From the. From the beach.

[The Grizz]

Oh, I did a big jump.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like an evil knee.

[The Grizz]

I cranked a fan up.

[Byron Denniston]

Hey, this is. Gives me an idea. What if I was the first guy ever to water ski behind a fanboat? I mean, it's dangerous.

[E]

I mean, it would blow you as the skier so hard, and you might.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get your head chopped off.

[Byron Denniston]

I know, I know.

[The Grizz]

If you stop short, I would recommend goggles.

[Byron Denniston]

Goggles.

[Scott Aukerman]

That'll do it.

[The Grizz]

I mean, it ain't going to hurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's do it. Let's do it. Wait, so you guys are leaving? All right, Bye, y'.

[Byron Denniston]

All.

[E]

Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Byron Denniston]

Is it. Is it just me? No, I'm here, too.

[E]

Oh, Dalton's still.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm still here, but I'm getting on my horse. I'm leaving. I think I did everything I came to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Gosh. All right, well, Grizz and. Or, I'm sorry. The Grizz. I beg your pardon?

[The Grizz]

You can call me Grizz.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can? No.

[The Grizz]

Thank you so much. I am the Grizz. But you can call me Grizz.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Griz. Well, Grizz and Byron Denniston.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you guys just about ready? I mean, Grizz has been oiling himself up our entire seablock here. I mean, is it. Does that come in handy when you're playing water pole?

[The Grizz]

I'm nice and buoyant.

[E]

Now.

[Byron Denniston]

May I borrow a bit of your oil?

[The Grizz]

Should have brought your own.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a byoo situation.

[Byron Denniston]

Listen, let's face it. The chips are rather stacked against me. I haven't got oil. I have several lumps that can't be identified.

[The Grizz]

Also, nobody beats the Grizz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Phrase. We forgot about it. There is that.

[Byron Denniston]

Nobody beats the Grizz.

[E]

And I'm sorry, Speckler is in a T shirt, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, there should be one.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm not a very strong swimmer. I'm half drowned.

[The Grizz]

Who you? Martin Short on Saturday Night Live.

[Byron Denniston]

Classic. Hey, wait a minute. Could I. Could I wear a floaty one?

[The Grizz]

Floaty?

[Byron Denniston]

Just one on one arm?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

All right. I'll take it.

[The Grizz]

Why don't you put it around your scrawny little neck?

[Byron Denniston]

It's not a bad idea at all. Keep my head above water.

[The Grizz]

You ever seen those videos of, like, a baby? And they put the baby in the pool with some sort of floating just around its neck so the baby's just, like a little head floating on the surface?

[Byron Denniston]

I've never seen that, but I'm about to do it.

[E]

Here we are. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

That's not bad at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not trying to back out of this, are you, Byron?

[Byron Denniston]

Not at all. I'm just letting the world know what's at stake.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're trying to lower everyone's expectations so when you die, people will go like, well, he didn't have a chance.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I'm just really. I'm trying to psych myself up and.

[Scott Aukerman]

To mean, you're going to be dead in five minutes or so. I mean, you know, I mean. All right, well, guys, if it takes.

[The Grizz]

That long, I'll be embarrassed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we got to do this after. After our final feature, though, on the show, if that's all right with you. We just have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. We are running out of time, guys. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. We only have time for one final thing.

[The Grizz]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. We're running out of time. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

[E]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, we're out of time.

[The Grizz]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, no. I mean, it is time for everyone's favorite feature on the show. Oh, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[E]

Oh, oh, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. It's time for a little something called oh, no. Oh, plugs.

[The Grizz]

Oh, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. By the way, that was Chris Finke with oh, no. Plugs. We haven't heard you guys say oh, no at this point. Can we get a no no from each of you, by the way?

[The Grizz]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[E]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, good. That'll come in handy for future plugs. What do we want to plug, Jay? Obviously. How did this get made?

[E]

How did this get made? And we're doing a couple. If you're in the Los Angeles area, we're doing live shows at Largo starting up again. So come on out and see a live show. Why not? It's been so long.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's been so long. We gotta see you. It's been a while. Yeah, definitely. Grizz, what do you have to plug? I mean.

[The Grizz]

Paulefftompkins.com live.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[The Grizz]

Finito.

[Scott Aukerman]

Finito for the plugs. All right. And you know what?

[E]

I will plug also, just, just because he left. Dalton Wilcox has a wonderful podcast called Bonanas for Bonanza.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, Great. Great show.

[E]

It's a great show. It's fantastic.

[Byron Denniston]

Hilarious.

[E]

Not confusing, where they go through the entire episode. All of the episodes of the TV show Bonanza.

[Byron Denniston]

So that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

And there's like 435 of them.

[E]

Something like that. Yeah, it's fantastic. It's, you know, it's not as good as the Deadwood Boys, but it's very strong.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deadwood Boys is great.

[The Grizz]

Love Deadwood Boys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Byron. I mean, I don't even know what you would do.

[Guest/Other]

Have to.

[E]

To plug.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're going to be dead soon, but.

[E]

You'Re going to be Byron De.

[Byron Denniston]

Should I Survive? I do have a podcast called the Royal Roundup and we do that from time to time. And Should I Survive? It's broadcast live from the grounds of Harry and Meghan's home.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[Byron Denniston]

But that's really all.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, this, this may be the last you ever hear from Byron Dennison.

[The Grizz]

It will be.

[E]

Wait, did I steal your plug? If you have another plug, you can. Who? What do you mean? I, I, I didn't, I didn't want to jump on the, the Bananas plug.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no, no, no.

[E]

Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

I've never heard of that.

[E]

Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

But I, I do have my own podcast.

[E]

Okay, great.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And people can find [e-mail].

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes, that's right. Yes, I believe so.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, and that, that would be my plug as well. Head over there to CBB World or comedybangbangworld.com and people can get, you can get the full archives of this show as well as all of our live episodes.

[E]

Oh, and I'll recommend the Bob Duka episodes that have come out on CBB Presents that are hilarious.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are great. We also just put out a Randy Snuts show.

[E]

So funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

We did. We've been doing it on Scott Astin Scene. We saw Legally Blonde recently and we saw Sophie's Choice with Andy Richter and also Harry and the Hendersons.

[Byron Denniston]

Have you seen Spencer?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I have not seen Spencer. Would you like to see Spencer with me at some point?

[Byron Denniston]

That would be fin.

[Scott Aukerman]

I loved his stores with the T shirts and.

[Byron Denniston]

Ah, a common confusion.

[The Grizz]

What I like about Spencer is we all know the story of Lady Diana. Let's take the story out of it, right? Let's just see her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like she's in a zoo or something.

[The Grizz]

Here she Goes. There she goes. Oh, Timothy Spall showed up. All right.

[Byron Denniston]

Changing clothes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[The Grizz]

Being sad.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, yeah, go over to cbbworld.com and if you sign up for a full year, you get two months free. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Byron Denniston]

Take one hand, put it up. Take the other, put it down. You're gonna make a box.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's time to start to close it.

[Byron Denniston]

What is this?

[E]

So it's just Ben. It's not even you. Not you.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's Dr. Sweet chat as well.

[E]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that was. That was Charles Barkley.

[E]

A classic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Charles was. Maybe that's Charles's last name. Maybe that. Who knows? Yeah. Charles Barkley with closing up the plug bag. Crazy. Thank you so much to Charles Barkley. And, guys, I want to thank you. Jay, so great to see you. Thanks for coming to the backyard. Awesome to have you. You on comics. Next time the 50s will. Well, I don't know that anyone wants to hear that. We'll do that in our personal life. Grizz, so great to have you.

[The Grizz]

A pleasure.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got to come back without this guy over here. I mean, it will be without this guy.

[The Grizz]

A pleasure indeed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, definitely. And, Byron, it's been so nice knowing you, and it's been such a pleasure to have you on the show low these many years.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes. I. I intend to go to my watery grave as a.

[E]

As.

[Byron Denniston]

As a very British man in a British. I'm going to be British about it.

[E]

Okay, good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you'll. You'll have a stiff upper lip. You' resigned to your fate. And you guys are. Go ahead and get into the pool, if you don't mind. You're complaining about the cold. It's going to be hotter in death. All right, so let's see. I guess I'll do a little play by play here. Now we. We all know first goal wins. First goal wins. And we're going to flip a. What do you call this coin here? What is this?

[The Grizz]

A pound note.

[Scott Aukerman]

A pound note? Yeah, we're going to flip a pound note to see who gets the ball first.

[The Grizz]

Byron's got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Byron. Yeah.

[E]

Call.

[Scott Aukerman]

Call it in the air.

[Byron Denniston]

All right. It's the face of the queen.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is the queen. You get the ball first.

[Byron Denniston]

Ah, wonderful. All right, Very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here I go then. Do your worst water polo. Oh, my God. The Grizz is. The Grizz is drowning somehow. Grizz. How did that happen?

[Byron Denniston]

What happened? Oh, dear God. He got tangled up in the net.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, wait. Put the ball in there.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Byron, you can do this. You can do this.

[Byron Denniston]

Just a moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm making my way over there. Byron, hurry. Don't drown yourself.

[The Grizz]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Byron's tangled up in the net. Byron is angle up in the nets. Oh, no. God. They both drowned. They both drown. Jay, Chris is coming back to life.

[Caller/Guest]

How.

[The Grizz]

How did I get there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. These.

[The Grizz]

I was in Australian heaven.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[The Grizz]

Why am I. Oh, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. What's this?

[E]

The anti Griz.

[The Grizz]

No, it's Richard Harrow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Richard Harrow from. From Boardwalk Empire.

[The Grizz]

Clanking chains.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. From Australian heaven has come. Oh, my God. They're both dead. Oh, dead.

[E]

Oh, this is awful. This is awful. What has happened here today has been awful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Jay, we should do.

[E]

I don't think I can stay and swim. You said stay and swim. Afterwards.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stick around. We'll cart these guys off. It'll be all right. All right, we'll see you next time, Biggs.

[Caller/Guest]

Bye.

[E]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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