She's Back, Back in the MCU (Tatiana Maslany, Dave Theune, Stephanie Burchinow)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast

Episode: "She's Back, Back in the MCU"
Guests: Tatiana Maslany, Dave Theune (as Robbie Delmuda), Stephanie Burchinow (as Egg Bite/Eggy/Yoksie/Whitey)
Release Date: May 11, 2026
Host: Scott Aukerman

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Episode Overview

This lively and eccentric episode of Comedy Bang Bang welcomes Emmy-winning actress Tatiana Maslany back to the show, commemorating her tenth appearance ("Ten Timers Club") and discussing her new Apple TV series "Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed" (premiering May 20). The show is joined by recurring character Robbie Delmuda, an 11-year-old attorney/private investigator, and an existential character called Egg Bite. The episode zips through improv, meta-Hollywood sketches, MCU satire, and absurdist tangents with Comedy Bang Bang’s classic surreal wit.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Comedy Bang Bang Live Show Announcement

• [03:00] Scott announces the final date on the 2026 “Ground Beefing” tour, happening September 19 at LA’s Orpheum Theater with Paul F. Tompkins and “hey Randy.”
  • Tatiana: “I don’t like that it’s the final one.”
    Scott: “Oh, you want more?”
• Ticket pre-sale code: "beefing."
• Playful exchange about ticket pricing, performer discounts, and show logistics.

2. Tatiana Maslany’s Return and “Ten Timers Club”

• [04:55] Tatiana reveals her Emmy is “in a box somewhere” and jokes about her possessions being boxed away.
• Reminisces about her first appearance 11 years ago, being nervous, and listening to CBB while filming Orphan Black.
• [07:03] Official induction into the Ten Timers Club.

3. New Series: Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed

• [06:43]–[11:30] Introduction to “Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed.”
  • Premieres May 20 on Apple TV.
  • Described as a “propulsive thriller with dark comedic elements” about a recent divorcee in chaos, trying to get custody of her child.
  • Tatiana: “She gets involved with a Camboy... she witnesses a camboy maybe being attacked, maybe dying. This is like a Rear Window for the next generation.”
  • Cast includes Jake Johnson, Jesse Hodges, Kiara Goldberg, Charlie Hall, Dolly de Leon, and Murray Bartlett.
• [15:07] Release schedule: Two episodes drop at launch, then one per week.

4. MCU/She-Hulk/Meta-Marvel Satire

• [13:13]–[22:44] Scott and Tatiana craft a hilariously convoluted She-Hulk/Marvel multiverse saga:
  • Tatiana jokingly says she “went back groveling” to Marvel after a fictional lawsuit, settling with a “giant novelty check.”
  • Satirical plot: She’s cast as “the maid” in “Doom Wars: The Secret Quest,” a merged Marvel event film combining multiple storylines with split screens (“run them both at the same time with a split screen!” [18:09]).
  • Tatiana (as the maid): “I walk in, I’m walking into rooms and, Oh, I’m so sorry. And then I dust my way out.” [18:47]
  • The maid is mistreated by the Avengers, reflecting the “review bomb” backlash of She-Hulk.
  • The film features Santa Claus, presents flying to “level the playing field between naughty and nice.”
  • The “maid” picks up Thor’s hammer and reveals she’s She-Hulk “but she’s small now, she’s not imposing... her hair’s regular, no muscles, wearing t-shirt and jeans... with a push up bra and little cutoff daisy dukes—so you can see the bottom of the butt.” [21:02–22:08]
  • Post-credits scene: She-Hulk’s ambiguous pregnancy test reveal.
    Scott: “God, I wonder who’s the father?”

5. The Price of Streaming and Tatiana’s Career

• [31:10] Satirical riff on streaming service costs:
  Scott: “How much is an Apple TV subscription these days?”
  Tatiana: “Four grand a year. That might cover most of the shows, minus tax and tip.”
• Discusses new film “Green Bank” and American folklore (Paul Bunyan pinball machine anecdote).

6. Robbie Delmuda’s Ongoing Legal Sagas

• [34:39] Robbie, an 11-year-old “attorney at law,” returns with his latest legal sagas and side hustles:
  • Defending himself in family lawsuits, representing himself against his father’s company “Granite Investments.”
  • Juggling fifth grade, night court, and a bribery case.
  • Launching a side gig as a private investigator (“like Encyclopedia Brown”).
  • His personal life: On-again, off-again relationship with “Deanna Bermuda," possibly a cryptid or mythic being (levitating, doesn’t appear in photos, sharp teeth).

7. Pop Culture, Absurdism, and Side-Riffs

• Discussions on Pearl Jam’s 90s history, obscure pinball stories, and Tatiana’s allergies (“if we wrote a cat into Orphan Black, we had to kill it. Cast the cat and kill the cat. Kill the Cat is a very famous screenplay book.” [42:32])
• Hollywood “gossip”: A new Rocky movie, but the rumors are trivial and quickly mocked.

8. Arrival of Egg Bite (Eggy/Yoksie/Whitey)

• [61:08] A sentient Starbucks egg bite, delivered via an AI robot, enters.
  • The egg bite (voiced by Stephanie Burchinow) represents multiple existential egg personalities: Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey.
  • Has memories of being frozen, Michelle Obama’s welcome video, and the entirety of human knowledge (except Oppenheimer).
  • Multiple bits about wanting to have sex with Frankie Muniz (“I’d love to have sex with Frankie Muniz.” [68:56])
  • Jokey debate about the logistics of being eaten, stuffed, or used by Frankie Muniz.
  • “Say ‘Donkey’” game to maintain Scottish accent.

9. Plugs and Tying It All Together

• [79:09] Traditional plug section:
  • Tatiana officially plugs “Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed” (May 20, Apple TV) and her return-to-the-MCU “Secret Doom Avengers Wars: Colon Friends.”
  • Robbie (Dave Theune) promotes “St. Dennis Medical” on NBC/Peacock/Netflix and live LA improv. Running joke: the “Saint Penis” sign prank is yet to be seen.
  • Egg Bite (Stephanie Burchinow) promotes improv shows (Shag) and performer’s Instagrams.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Scott [04:11]: “She’s an Emmy award winning actor, has one of the big golden statues. Where do you keep that thing?”
  Tatiana: “It’s shoved away, in a box. A golden box.”
• Tatiana [11:14]: “It’s a propulsive thriller with dark comedic elements… following a woman who is a recent divorcee. She’s a little bit of a mess.”
• Scott [13:31]: “Speaking of nice people, who are the other nice people in this show with you?”
  Tatiana: “We got the Dalai Lama… Joe Rogan. Lin Manuel Miranda. The first five that I said were correct.”
• Tatiana [18:47] (on her role in the new Marvel movie): “I’m in a little maid’s outfit. And I’m just going, ‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ I dust my way out.”
• Tatiana [21:28]: “She peels back her face with the hammer… it’s She Hulk underneath. But she’s small now and she’s not imposing. Her hair’s regular... no muscles.”
• Tatiana [22:44]: “I’m back in the MCU. And the last scene… you hear a timer go off for two minutes… a pregnancy test. Maybe, maybe not [pregnant]. The lines are showing up slowly and we cut.”
• Tatiana [31:10]: “If you want to just throw… four grand. Four grand a year.”
• Tatiana [42:32]: “If we did have a cat in [Orphan Black], we had to kill it, because I couldn’t be around it. Cast the cat and kill it.”
• Egg Bite [65:23]: “I got downloaded all of human information, all of human consciousness, and then I got put in a cocoa [delivery robot].”
• Egg Bite [68:56]: “I’d love to have sex with Frankie Muniz.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00] — Ground Beefing Tour announcement and tickets
• [06:43] — Tatiana’s new series “Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed” discussion
• [13:13]–[22:44] — Marvel/She-Hulk/MCU meta-satire & Tatiana’s fictional Marvel return
• [31:10] — Streaming prices/parody
• [34:39] — Robbie Delmuda’s introduction & legal storylines
• [61:08] — Arrival of Egg Bite and the existential food delivery conversation
• [79:09] — Plugs Section

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Tone and Style

The episode blends fast-paced banter, fourth-wall-breaking, surreal improvisation, and in-jokes about Hollywood, podcasting, and fan culture. Tatiana Maslany joins the fun—roller-coaster riffing, self-deprecating, and mocking both her career and pop culture expectations. Robbie Delmuda and Egg Bite characters anchor the more surreal, comedic flights.

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Summary Takeaways

• Tatiana Maslany is back on CBB for the 10th time, playfully discussing her career, the mystique of acting, and her new Apple TV project.
• Marvel satire: She imagines herself returning to the MCU as a humble maid in a bizarre, satirical meta-blockbuster with Santa Claus, split-screen storytelling, postmodern shout-outs, and a call-back to She-Hulk fan controversy.
• Robbie Delmuda brings comedic courtroom chaos as a precocious child-litigator, riffing on legal absurdity and supernatural relationships.
• Egg Bite is an existential, multi-personality breakfast food that desires celebrity encounters and delivers surprisingly reflective, absurd humor.
• The entire episode is an exercise in comedic improvisation—with running jokes, inside Hollywood jabs, and ceaseless character interplay returning Comedy Bang Bang to its anarchic, playful roots.

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For the Listener

If you missed the episode, you got:

• A Tatiana Maslany deep-dive on her work, “Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed," and a fictional return to Marvel.
• Absurdist skits about streaming costs, Marvel legal drama, and cryptid girlfriends.
• The introduction of a sentient Egg Bite debating how it wants to die and which hole it prefers to enter.
• Classic Comedy Bang Bang: dazzling, self-aware, pop-culture-soaked mayhem.

Don’t miss “Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed” on Apple TV, May 20, and keep an eye peeled for Tatiana in a new Marvel parody near you (with or without Santa).

Transcript

[Robbie Delmuda]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Robbie Delmuda]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Try them all now at McDonald's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Refreshers contain caffeine. Brace yourself, I'm divorcing Godzilla. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Juicy Jesse the juice man Jesse, for that catchphrase submission. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We're in our 18th year, celebrated our 17th anniversary and in our 18th season, as they say. Or if you break up a year in four seasons. We're in our 64th season, perhaps. But welcome to Comedy Bang Bang nonetheless, regardless of how you celebrate your seasons. My name is Scott Aukerman and we have an exceptional show. We have. A little later on the show, we have an attorney at law. And in our first segment soon we will have an actor, someone in the entertainment industry. An actor, someone who studies lines and recites them for a living. We'll have all of that.

[Tatiana Maslany]

What a beautiful way to put it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not on the show yet.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, okay. Bye. Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got a big. I got a big announcement. We're announcing our final show of our. And you can chime in, of course, and offer your opinion.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Go, go ahead, give me the. Give me the details.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give you the deets. Okay, good or bad? I want to know your opinion on what you think about this, on your

[Tatiana Maslany]

delivery and on the details.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. All right, so we're announcing our final tour date of the comedy Bang Bang 2026 ground beefing tour. What is that? The delivery information.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I don't like that it's the final one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you want more?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I want more.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's one of those great criticisms that you get in. Like, you know, when you get on a job application, you want more in an interview.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Question mark?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, just one of those, like turning a criticism into a positive, you know.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like I. I work too hard.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it is our final tour date. It is going on sale this week, September 19th in Los Angeles at the Orpheum Theater with hey Randy. Opening the show. That is going to be a big show and it's going to wrap up our tour for not only this year but for the foreseeable future. So that's going to be the last one. So it goes on sale this week, goes on sale Friday in fact and the pre sale is this Wednesday at 10am Local in LA. And the code is beefing. So it's Paul F. Tompkins myself and you know how we do la, we got a lot of people out here so we want to see all of you. That goes on sale this Friday or Wednesday with the code beefing. Okay, what do you think of that?

[Tatiana Maslany]

You get a discount on that beef.

[Scott Aukerman]

In what way?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Like does that get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do I get a discount on the.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. Do you get a discount on your own tickets? How many can I have? No, how, how, how. What's the pricing?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know the tiers of pricing. I'm sure that there it's. It's dependent upon how close you want to sit. Who's getting the cut, everyone involved who's

[Tatiana Maslany]

on the show, even guests.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Can I guess?

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to be on the show? Okay. Yeah, sure. We'll work out your rate, don't worry. You free on September 19th?

[Tatiana Maslany]

No. No I'm not.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you know?

[Tatiana Maslany]

How do I know?

[Scott Aukerman]

As James L. Brooks once asked America via Paul Rudd.

[Tatiana Maslany]

He did?

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you know?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yes, James L. Brooks asked through via Paul Rudd.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you know?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Was he dead?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Who?

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul Rudd.

[Tatiana Maslany]

James.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Was Paula reddened?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think James L. Brooks is yet either. Unless in between this taping.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oops. Rest in peace. Maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are I possible? Who knows? All right, so we need to get to our first guest I mentioned. We have an actor on the show and she is an Emmy award winning actor, has one of the big golden statues. Where do you keep that thing?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I think it's in a box in my house. In a box.

[Scott Aukerman]

But a lot of your stuff is in boxes. Not just that. What if that was the only thing that was in a box?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

That was it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. In a golden box.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No, it's. It's shoved away.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's shoved away.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Do you have yours about?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You have your little.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like action figures

[Tatiana Maslany]

bookmarking the shelf.

[Scott Aukerman]

But she is an Emmy award winning actor from the show Orphan Black which was on BBC America amongst others channels I would imagine.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I think it moved to A channel that exists. I think it moved to Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is it on Netflix now?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, it was on Netflix, like, recently.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you can watch the show about people wanting to have cyber tales.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. People wanting to cyber each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

People wanting cyber noses and all that.

[Tatiana Maslany]

There is a tail that I. Forget about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Something has a tail. Right.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Very graphic, moving tale.

[Scott Aukerman]

I watched a whole bunch of them when I was enlisted by you to moderate a panel.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Did I ask you to do that?

[Scott Aukerman]

You did ask me to do that. Yes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Thanks for doing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And I watched a whole season in San Diego or. Where was it at? South by Southwest.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, but you watched the whole season then in Austin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, like the. The day before the panel.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trying to cram it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No wonder your eyes were so red when I saw you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And so now I don't recall any of the details, but people had cyber tales. But you also can see her in such films as Cyber Tales, Cyber Tales, Cyber ducktales, the Monkey, which she finally got. The poster.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yes. I haven't put it up yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's got a big coffee stain

[Tatiana Maslany]

on it, and it is kind of crumpled at this point. It's seen a lot of life.

[Scott Aukerman]

And she has a new television series premiering May 20 on Apple TV called Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. Please welcome back one of our best and best friends on the show, and I'm gonna look her up to see exactly what Timers Club she's in.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, I was trying to think of that this morning.

[Scott Aukerman]

If it was, why didn't you, like, just go online and figure it out?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Cause I'm trying to use my goddamn brain for once in my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

She is entering the 10 timers club is today 10. Today's 10 on Comedy Bang Bang.

[Tatiana Maslany]

What do I get? What's my thing?

[Scott Aukerman]

Her 11th year on comedy Bang Bang. Please welcome back to the show Tatiana Maslany.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello.

[Tatiana Maslany]

How are you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm doing good. Doing good. Thank you so much for returning.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm so happy to be here. I can't believe it's been 10.

[Scott Aukerman]

10 times now. There were. There was a series of years where you were filming up in Toronto.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That you could not be on the show. But now that you're more around your. You've been on quite a few times.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I could not be. Also because I think I was too nervous to be on the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Tatiana Maslany]

The first time I did this show, I like, because I only ever listen. I listened to you guys so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

We talked about this when you were first on 11 years or so ago. You. You used to bike to set and listening to.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'd bike to set. Or, like, if we were doing a night shoot, Christian and I would listen to you guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Christian Brun, of course.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Christian Brun. So I think when we first came here, it was like, we're. We. We didn't know to speak.

[Scott Aukerman]

I understand being starstruck. We really were about TV or movie stars. But podcasters.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Podcasters is the big one, because you live with them in your ears. You're, like, in your private home and you're like, so social dynamics.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been in your bedroom practically.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. And physically, I've been in my bathroom practically. You make my bed every morning, which is such a sweet.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we talked about the first time we met, how you came to a live show in San Diego during Comic Con and you assumed the entire crowd would be dressed in costume, and you came as one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You and Christian both came and then realized you were the only people who were in costume.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Well, we were trying to hide.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're also trying to hide because you're on a Comic Con specific type show.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Right? Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one recognized you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No one knew it was off site. No one cared.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Tatiana Maslany]

We drew more attention to ourselves. You guys mocked us from the stage, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then cut to 11. I'm sorry, smash cut to.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

11 years later, a Star wars wipe two. Diagonal wipe two. 11 years later, you're on a television show called Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. How does this make sense?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I don't know, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

What confluence of events in that 11 years led you to this moment?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I guess just acting, really. Learning all those lines.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How many did you have on the show?

[Tatiana Maslany]

There's. I had 43 episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

43 episodes of the show. That's a big order.

[Tatiana Maslany]

100 lines a day. 100 lines a day by the four sandwiches that you get at 10am for break.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Equals. I talked a lot in this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

You talked a lot? Are you the main character? Are you number one on the call sheet?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I play Maximum Pleasure, and she's Guaranteed, AKA Max. AKA yeah, Max. She's just a cool kid. She got a sideways baseball cap.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a little weird to have a show on Apple called Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed with, like, a rival streaming service, Max as the first three letters. It's like if on Max you were to watch something called, like, the Apple Dumpling Gang, you know, Isn't it strange? Like. But that's how show business works. Sometimes we're just like, these things happen. And no One can explain them.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No, they can't be explained. Even though HBO Max changed their name, like, a year ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just to Max.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Just to Max.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or is it. No. Is it?

[Tatiana Maslany]

No, it's HBO Max. They're like, that branding was not good. That branding took away our prestige.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed is from. By all accounts, it's a television show.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's coming out on May 20th.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And in the other research you've done about it, you've discovered that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have discovered it stars you. And other than that, I know 0% of the information about it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You watched the trailer?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You watched the other trailer?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that one I watched. I didn't watch either trailer.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Well, what you're gonna find is it's a propulsive thriller with dark comedic elements to it, following a woman who is a recent divorcee trying to get her life back together. She's trying to get custody of her kid, but she's a little bit of a mess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Why do you want to play a character like that? You know, like. Come on.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Because. So together in my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

This reminds me when my mother saw the movie Flight starring Denzel Washington, about the alcoholic pilot who, spoiler alert for the end, goes to prison and gets his life together and becomes religious and teaches other prisoners how to get their life together. And she said, oh, I hated that movie. I said, why? Because she's like, because he was just such an alcoholic. I said, at the end, he got his life together. And she goes, he couldn't have done that in the first five minutes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

She wants all movie conflicts to be resolved.

[Scott Aukerman]

Resolved.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Just want to watch people watch the film.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. But speaking of nice people, who are the other nice people that are in this show with you?

[Tatiana Maslany]

The other nice people in this show are. We got Jake Johnson. We got Jesse Hodges. We got Kiara Goldberg, and Charlie Hall. We got Dolly De Leon.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Mmm.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you were gonna say the Dalai Lama.

[Tatiana Maslany]

We've got the Dalai Lama.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've got Making his debut.

[Tatiana Maslany]

We've got Joe Rogan. We've got Lin Manuel Miranda.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two sides of the same coin.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. You know those two guys always competing for airtime. Yeah, those. The first five that I said were correct. Murray Bartlett.

[Scott Aukerman]

Murray Bartlett. We love Murray Bartlett, don't we, folks?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Do you know who Murray Bartlett is?

[Scott Aukerman]

From the White Lotus, of course. Yes. And from the Last of Us. Wonderful episode of the Last of Us with Nick Offerman.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy. Zombies. You ever gonna do one of those zombies? Are there zombies in this?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I did do a zombie Movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

What'd you do?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I did George Romero's Diary of the Dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

I never saw that one.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay, I gotta get on the list. I die quick. I was a zombie for one second. Like, I like, become. And I'm shocked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you get all the makeup?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I got a little bit of makeup.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then what?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I got by because my face is blown.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, blown away.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Shot twice. I don't know. I was. There was a lot of shooting. I was not doing well in that movie. I was religious in that movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good. Good for you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's why I died.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what? I mean, so you're a bit of a mess and you're trying to put your life back together in the show and then something happens, like a murder or something or what happens?

[Tatiana Maslany]

She witnessed. She. Okay, so she gets involved with a Camboy. I don't know how much of this I can say. She gets involved with a Camboy?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, you can say camboy because no one knows what you're talking about.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You don't know what a camboy is?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's a camboy.

[Tatiana Maslany]

How are you been on the Internet at all recently?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, tell me what. I apologize.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Is a sex worker who works via video chats. And will you. Can you pay them to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you like how I pretended not to know what a campboy was? By the way,

[Tatiana Maslany]

you had done some cambody in your life. That was really good. I believed it. I actually believed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so you witness a Camboy doing what?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Maybe being attacked, maybe dying.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like a rear window for the. For a next generation.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Did you read that on the Internet?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Good job.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's like. That was a big reference for some of the visual stuff that we did.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's Hitchcockian.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's more like hitch your cock. Ian.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ian. A Camboy in a Camboy. Okay, great. Well, this is fantastic. And how many episodes are we talking? One or two?

[Tatiana Maslany]

We got 10. We did one through 10. We started with one and we went. Let's just see where this goes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's improv the rest.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we just free balled it and

[Scott Aukerman]

so 10 episodes and they're one a week or what are we.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I think we do the 2. 2 to start and then one week after that. We really want to hook you guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love it. Now, moving on to new business. Big news in the Marvel universe. Yeah. You've. According to what I've read, you've patched everything up. Okay, you're back in.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes, you're back in. Tell Us how this happened. This has all just been rumored, but I wanted to confirm it with you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I went back groveling.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good. Hat in hand.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Hat in hand. I said, you know, when I won that lawsuit against you guys, here's the money.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gave the money back for the lawsuit because. Just to catch our listeners up, you sued Marvel because Marvel kicked you out of Deadpool.

[Tatiana Maslany]

They fired me from Deadpool even after I'd shot scenes. But they didn't like my politics.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Right.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Feminist politics.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they also didn't like your delivery.

[Tatiana Maslany]

They hated my delivery because you're always.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, one thing that I noticed on that she Hulk show is you were always looking in the camera and talking, and they. They. I guess the editors didn't notice and they just left it in.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so you were doing that on the movie, but when there's a movie, there's a little more scrutiny. And so they were like, hey, well,

[Tatiana Maslany]

because you blow it up higher, you can see where the eyeline actually is. Some people were like, it was too down the barrel. It was called. It's called buzzing the lens.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So people were saying, like, hey, could you knock off the talking to the audience stuff? And you refused to. I read.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I wouldn't. And then they even went in and they were like, could we. Do we have the budget just to move her eyes slightly to the right or left?

[Scott Aukerman]

And they didn't have the budget for that because they fired all the animators. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then also, Deadpool started copying your style and talking to the camera as well. And you were upset about that. So you sued Deadpool for all of that.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Sued Deadpool, the character. I sold sealed Ronald Reagan. I went back in time, I sued Ronald Reagan.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Right.

[Tatiana Maslany]

For good. Setting things up so poorly for women.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trickle down. And then. And you won that lawsuit to the tune of. How much money did you end up winning on the lawsuit? Bloop. Whoa. That's a huge amount that we just had to bleep. Yeah, but it's confidential. You. You signed an NDA?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I did sign an NDA because when I went back, hat in hand, I said, here's the money. Thoof dumped it on the. Dumped it on the table. I dumped it out on the table. So it sort of spread.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's awesome. Was it one just giant, big novelty check?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, it was just one thin piece of paper that sort of rolled, but they were like, oh, my God, this is awesome. Now we can make more shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're back in. So you're back.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're doing the Secret wars or what is it called? Doomquest or whatever it is.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's called Doom Wars. Secret. The Secret Quest. Doom Wars, Colon. The Secret Quest.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's new information too, because they were making two different movies. Eventually Doom, Whatever, and then Secret wars, and they combine them into one.

[Tatiana Maslany]

They said, slap him into the same guy. Just cut between the two. So you shoot the two films separately and then you just cut between the scenes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just cut between the scenes. Oh, this is brilliant.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's actually gonna be quite beautiful. Okay, so because you sort of get that like. Oh, the Hitchcockian thing of like, you put this image next to this one and that suddenly, like, also just run

[Scott Aukerman]

them both at the same time with a split screen.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that way I get two movies for the price of one.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And you can just cover one eye if you're like, I don't want as much. Y. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is great. So. But you're not playing the same character. I read.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm not? No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you playing?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm playing the maid.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're playing the maid?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is like the HELP meets Spider Man.

[Tatiana Maslany]

HELP meets. Do more Secret Services or whatever. And yeah, I'm in a. I'm in a little maid's outfit. And I'm just going, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. I'm going, oh, I'm so sorry. I apologize all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you apologizing to?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Everybody. Anybody. I walk in, I walking into rooms and I oh, I'm so sorry. And then I dust my way out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're like dusting Iron Man's armor.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And I'm trying to, but I keep walking in when they're talking about important stuff that only men. So sorry. So sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

And does anyone get annoyed at you or.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Everyone's annoyed at me the whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And so they take. They're basically like everything they wanted to get out on me. Everything that they've collected from Reddit, they're using the lines that all of these guys wanted to say to she Hulk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so everything that they review bombed your show with.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tony Stark is saying it. Captain America. Black Panther is saying it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

The Black Panther, they bring back the ant. The Ant man and Wasp, both of them are going at me. Tiny and large format.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. From small. From a small.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you just have to sit there and take it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. But it's worth it for me just to be part of that universe again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, it was so rewarding to you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It was,

[Scott Aukerman]

It was just such an incredible experience to be part of that.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It did really good things for my self esteem and for my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, so that's great. So it's all patched up so people can look for that this Christmas.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's coming out on Christmas and they've

[Scott Aukerman]

combined the movies and that and they.

[Tatiana Maslany]

We're doing Santa mall tour.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, is Santa in this movie too?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Santa might or might not be. One of the secret war is like

[Scott Aukerman]

Iron man flying around in the sky and then suddenly you hear.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And they collide in mid midair.

[Robbie Delmuda]

No way.

[Tatiana Maslany]

All the presents fly everywhere and then all the children who usually don't get presents get presents. It's like a kind of equal opportunity thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So it just levels the playing field. It levels the playing field between naughty and nice.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so Dr. Doom is getting presents even though he's really naughty. And Thanos gets a present and they look at each other and a tear comes down their eye, I would imagine.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's what changes them into good guys.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then the Avengers, they don't. They don't get the presents, so they become bad guys.

[Tatiana Maslany]

They don't get the presents, so they turn evil. Naughty.

[Scott Aukerman]

No way.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And all their hair kind of swoops to the side.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Just sort of over one eye. Oh, Spider man style.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, cool. Spider Man 3 style.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Spider Man 3 style.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, when he turned. Yeah, when he's back, you know. Yeah, of course.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, you created that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he goes and does a dance sequence.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're all dancing. Okay. But they're like now evil.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then does your character, because this is rumored on the Internet and I don't know whether this is true or not. Your character, the maid, picks up Thor's hammer and turns into something.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. She peels back her face with the hammer.

[Scott Aukerman]

And she peels back her face with that hammer.

[Tatiana Maslany]

She goes like, I'm sorry to tell you, but peels back the face, we get really great. It's actually practical. It was practical effects.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And it's she Hulk underneath.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this is awesome.

[Tatiana Maslany]

But she's small now and she's not imposing. She's not imposing. She's not scary. Her hair's regular, Right. No muscles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. This is good.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Wearing a practical, you know, just T shirt and jeans.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But with a push up bra. And like when you say jeans up

[Tatiana Maslany]

to her, short up to her chin.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mean like little cutoff daisy dudes?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see the bottom of the butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. The butt bottom, the bb. This is great. This is how I wanted to see.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Because I feel like we've actually seen this so many times. She Hulk in this exact outfit.

[Scott Aukerman]

But this is great. So finally the fans are getting she Hulk the way we wanted to see. She Hulk.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. And she still sometimes does the little maid thing too. So everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, cool. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's perfect for her. Well, congratulations on your success. This is an amazing twist and turn of events here. Yeah, this is great. But you're back. You're back in the mcu.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm back in the mcu. And the last scene. And I'm just going to spoil it now is one of those like, you know, the added scenes they do at the end. So you got to wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Gotta wait until. Because. And then I was also reading. Because I know what you're talking about.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is one of the post credit scene. The post. Post credit scene scenes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So like the post credit scene happens and then 15 minutes of black.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where everyone's like, oh, I guess it's over. And they're all leaving.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then 15 minutes later, it just pops up.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

The lights are up, the guys are cleaning up the popcorn. There's like, you know, come. Come to the AMC for experiences.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of like the movie trivia.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who played Popeye?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Right. We've moved on. They're like, please leave the theater.

[Scott Aukerman]

B, Robin Williams. C. Trick question. Both of them.

[Tatiana Maslany]

They did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gene Ackman played Popeye Doyle and of course the French Connection.

[Tatiana Maslany]

So in this last scene, it's on. It's a cut to black. So we're staying in the black.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And you hear, I can't pour this out. But you hear sort of sound of water. Water hitting water.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what's that?

[Tatiana Maslany]

And then you hear like, maybe that's

[Scott Aukerman]

someone cleaning up and they're pouring out a coke onto the floor.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you hear this. And then you hear. And then you hear a timer go off for two minutes. And then you hear. Oh, no. And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then what?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Then it just cuts to. Because I shot these myself, so I

[Scott Aukerman]

didn't have the budget. Oh, okay. You couldn't. Couldn't afford any sex. Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Because I gave them my big slap of money. You see? Just a close up of a pregnancy test.

[Scott Aukerman]

No way. She Hulk's pregnant.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Maybe, maybe not. Depends how many lines show up. The lines are showing up slowly. And we cut.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we cut away before the second. Oh, my gosh. God, I wonder who is the father? Or maybe she's acting as a surrogate for one of the. One of the couples who already exist, like Hawkeye and Linda Cardellini.

[Tatiana Maslany]

She's trying to make good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wow. This is amazing. She's back. Back in the mcu. She's back. Back in the mcu. Yeah. We love it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Do you love it?

[Scott Aukerman]

We love it. We'd love to see this for you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I really hope they go with it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think they will because I wrote

[Tatiana Maslany]

it as I wrote all the shows. Yeah, you wrote in every show that I've ever been in.

[Scott Aukerman]

You wrote the she Hulk show. You wrote the Orphan Black show.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, which is why it's good when people write to me and go like, hey, I would rather this plot happen. I'm like, oh, shoot, I should have written that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, you've also written a show called Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's coming out May 20th on Apple TV. We need to take a break. Can you stick around by any chance?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have an attorney at law, which is very exciting.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Ooh, speaking of which.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so why don't we take a break? We're gonna come right back with more secret she Hulk. Tatiana Maslany is gonna be right back with us. More comedy. Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace. It's your all in one platform for building a standout online presence. Whether you're launching something new or leveling up your business, you can secure your domain, create a polished website, share what you have to offer, and get paid all in one place. I hate going to a separate place to get paid. Now you can get paid right there at Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easy to book gigs, sell services, and get paid with built in scheduling, invoicing and email tools, you can create a standout site fast using AI or designer templates. No experience needed. Plus, built in SEO helps fans and clients find you while custom domains keep your brand polished and secure. Showcase videos, promote events, or even monetize content. Everything is designed to help you grow your audience and your business. Check out squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you are ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ah, yes, Spring, it's time to end your hibernation and get to moving. A lot of stuff happening as we ramp up to summer. We're doing the tour, of course, and all sorts of stuff is going on. But you know, what needs to change around this time is your wardrobe. You gotta put away those heavy layers. It is time for breathable, durable clothes that move with you and can keep up with anything you put on your spring calendar. Now, Mack Weldon has updated closet staples like stretch twill chinos that go with everything and button ups that keep you looking sharp from morning coffee to dinner date. Their clothes are designed to fit your style and the demands of modern life. You know, they look like regular clothes, but they feel like the latest in modern comfort. Now, I just ordered quite a few things from Mack Weldon. I got the radius 5 pocket pant in both asphalt and Moonlighting. I got a Teck linen camp shirt. I got a Dean oxford shirt. I even got an Ace full zip sweatshirt. Boy, I am happy with all this stuff. MACK Weldon they do really great stuff. They are comfortable. They look good. People are always. When I say people, I mean my wife who sees me mainly. She says, where'd that come from? And she's impressed. And she says things like she. She attempts French. She says, ooh la la. Anyway, get moving with Mack Weldon Comfortable anywhere. Go to mackweldon.com and get 20 off your first order of $125 or more with promo code Bang Bang. That is M A C K W-E-L-O-O-N.com code Bang Bang. Your outdoor space should feel like you, right? But it can take a long time to get there. Now we have an outdoor space here at our house down out in the backyard. And before Wayfair, we didn't have any chairs there. People, they came, they either stood or they had to stand on their, their head or their hands doing handstands the entire time. And that can get exhausting when you're just trying to have a few canapes, you know, just trying to pass the cav around caviar. And, you know, we had to get some. Well, enter Wayfair. Now, whether your vibe is modern coastal farmhouse or eclectic, Wayfair has the pieces to create an outdoor space that is uniquely yours. We got some chairs out for the backyard, and people are finally thanking us. Oh, I'm not exhausted anymore when we come over to your place. Oh, wow. My tushy actually feels comforted and cradled by these chairs. I mean, they're just saying they're sitting on the chairs. But look, these are comfortable chairs. I love them. Now with filters, customer reviews, and visual tools that help you actually imagine how the item will look in your space, Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to what works for your style and your budget. From everything they have, everything from outdoor seating and grills to lighting and decorating. Look, Wayfair is your one stop shop for a home. I hate stopping at more than one stop when I'm shop. Installation and assembly services are available to create a truly seamless experience. And look, if you want an even faster shortcut to the good stuff, shop. Wayfair verified products that their team of specialists have vetted by with their own hands using a 10 point quality inspection. Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home that is. W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every home comedy. Bang, bang. We're back. Tatiana Maslany, of course, maximum pleasure guaranteed. May 20th and Apple TV. And how much is an Apple TV subscription running these days? It's like it. For a while it was something like $50 a week and then they bumped it up to like, okay, now it's like 500amonth.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like how much are we talking these days?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'd say if you want to just throw. Four. Four grand. Four grand a year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Four grand a year. And that'll probably get you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That might cover most of the shows

[Scott Aukerman]

minus tax and tip and all that.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And commission.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I love to tip my streaming services

[Tatiana Maslany]

if they do a good job.

[Scott Aukerman]

If they. That's gonna suck if there's no lags.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't mind throwing like a couple hundred bucks.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Tatiana Maslany]

If they immediately roll you into watching something else that you didn't want to watch right after you finish something that. Yeah, awesome. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Here's a little walking around money.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. You know, buy yourself something nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. Buy yourself a new apple core. I don't know.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Buy yourself a new apple core. Used, eaten.

[Scott Aukerman]

And anything else on the horizon for you, anything you're shooting that you can, can talk about or.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm shooting a movie called Green Bank. Green bank, directed by Josh Ruben.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, normally banks are like beige or white. And this is. And what's inside the banks is green. Yeah, they flipped it. So now the outside of the bank is green and the money is like beige.

[Tatiana Maslany]

The money is the, the bricks are money and the inside is just a bunch of, of, you know, like concrete.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is actually not a bad idea for a movie because like everyone when they break in and they, they do a heist of a bank.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

They go into the safe to get the money yeah, this bank hides the money in the bricks and all the bricks are the money. And no one's the wiser, right?

[Tatiana Maslany]

And then all those dum dums go down.

[Scott Aukerman]

But then someone finds this out and says what we need to do is steal the building, right? And so they, what do they do? Attach like a rope to the building.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And yeah, they last. They get, they lasso. It's the best cowboys in the West.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a team of cowboys.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's a team of cowboys because they got to hold that big lasso. It's got to go around the whole building.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, like Paul Bunyan lassoing Babe the Blue Ox or something like that. Did you get these American folk stories up in Canada?

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's funny you bring it up. My Oma and Opa in their basement had a Paul Bunyan pinball machine. So that was my only experience with pinball. How interesting you should bring it up today.

[Scott Aukerman]

So in Regina, in Regina, Saskatchewan, there is a Paul Bunyan. Somehow a Paul Bunyan pinball machine made its way across the border.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And him sitting there kind of like smiling and just a bunch of ladies, scantily clad, tiny ladies, doinkling all around him. And I think Babe is up in the corner doing his little cow thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's incredible. What was your high score?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay. So, so interesting you should bring it up. My first, my, my high score was. So there's two rounds. First round I got 333.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And then I got my highest score.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pinball machine.

[Tatiana Maslany]

But then I got my highest score.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Which is 4,000.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Tatiana Maslany]

This is an old. This was like.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was just one point at a time.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, it was like, like that's how the points went in. Okay, this wasn't digitized. This was really old school.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is good. This 4000 is good for that. Congratulations.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I never gotten any higher than that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why were we talking about him? Paul Bunyan. Oh, yeah, yeah. The last wing. The bank, Right?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And who do you play?

[Tatiana Maslany]

David.

[Scott Aukerman]

You play David in the movie. Okay, great. All right, let's move on to our next guest. They are an attorney at law. Please welcome back to the show, Robbie Delmuda.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott. Thanks for having me back on the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no problem. Hey, this is Tatiana.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Hi, Tatiana. How are you doing today?

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you guys met? I don't know. This is Robbie Delmuda. Obviously he's a. How old are you?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I'm 11 years old.

[Scott Aukerman]

11 year old boy. And just catch us up on your backstory. You're an 11 year old boy, but you're representing yourself in court. You had to become a lawyer.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I had to become a lawyer. I represent myself in court. I'm often in court against my dad's company, Granite Investments.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And what was the reason? Because your dad got you involved in some shady dealings that his company was making, made you sign the contracts or something?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I'm in over my head right now, all right? There's been a lot of stuff going on. I'm back in night court. I'm in fifth grade during the day, and I'm in night court during the night. And right now I'm in a bribery case against my dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Robbie Delmuda]

My dad did a bribery case against me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the previous cases has been settled?

[Robbie Delmuda]

No, they're ongoing.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're concurrent cases.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're. What is the bribery case now that you're. You're involved in?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, I'm frazzled. I'm going to admit this right now. I'm pretty frazzled.

[Scott Aukerman]

It seems like you're. You're in that state every single time you. Come on.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I know. One of us has a history test later.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm pretty sure it's you. Yeah, because if it's me, then how

[Robbie Delmuda]

do you think you do?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I would do very, very poorly.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, yeah?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, what period of history is he covering?

[Robbie Delmuda]

The 90s.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I might do okay, actually. I didn't know that the 90s were so long ago. We're covering it in history class now.

[Robbie Delmuda]

We're focusing mainly on Pearl Jam's discography. When did verses come out?

[Scott Aukerman]

Versus, I believe, is 99, if I had to guess.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, you are poor at this. It was 93.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, I thought that was 10.

[Robbie Delmuda]

That was 91. Scott, what grade did you graduate from?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're right. You're right. That's the one with the sheep or whatever. On what Is that a sheep?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes, it's a sheep.

[Scott Aukerman]

How old were you? You weren't even alive when this. But you've been studying it in school.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I've been studying it. Scott, you gotta know your history. You're doomed to repeat it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wouldn't mind repeating Pearl Jab's verses.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, it's a heck of an album.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, great to see you.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Thanks. Good to see you, too, Scott. Anyways, Bribery case.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What's going on with that?

[Robbie Delmuda]

My dad's trying to frame me again. Yes. He says I bribed. He says I bribed one of his competitors, Marble. Marble Investments. And he said that I bribed them to. To get some detailed documents from Granite Investments. And I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, let me. Let me figure out the chronology here. You were trying to bribe Marble Investments. Yes, to get documents, some incriminating documents on Granite Investments so I could use

[Robbie Delmuda]

the documents so that I could use them in one of my many ongoing cases with Granite Investments.

[Scott Aukerman]

And why would Marble Investments have these documents?

[Robbie Delmuda]

That.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Robbie Delmuda]

That's. Scott, you got to get in court with me. Because that's what this. That's the same thing. I asked the judge, and the judge said, don't. Dismissed. And I was like, what? The case? He's like, no, you're questioning. So anyways, I had to get out of the witness booth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever been in class and they say, class dismissed. And you think you're in court and you celebrate because your case was dismissed?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes, I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then you realize, no, it's not night.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I tear my textbooks up in half. I say, finally, it's over. And then Mrs. Bunker, my teacher, Mrs. Bunker. Mrs. Bunker, she says, robbie, sit down. And I'll tell you what, my face gets all red. And you know Deanna Bermuda, my girlfriend?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. Did you guys get together?

[Robbie Delmuda]

It's on and off again, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Did we meet her? I can't remember.

[Robbie Delmuda]

We met her a couple of times. And it's tough because I'm juggling a lot right now, and so it's hard to make time. You gotta make time for the ones that you love. And right now I'm struggling to do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I can understand. It sounds like the majority of your waking hours are spent either in class or in court, so it must be hard to go on dates.

[Robbie Delmuda]

It certainly is. And, Scott, there's an added wrinkle right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, not an added wrinkle, Scott.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I'm trying to take my mind off of school at times and off of my court cases, so I've picked up a little extra side hustle, okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

In the gig economy, that's common. Sure, sure.

[Robbie Delmuda]

And right now, you're looking at the brand spanking new private investigator.

[Scott Aukerman]

A private investigator?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, Scott, I'm sticking up for the little guy, all right? I'm sick of getting dumped on by the big guy. And so I said, I'm gonna help some others out, and maybe if I help others out, that will in turn help me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're sort of like an Encyclopedia Brown type. Do you know who that is? I mean, maybe that was before your time. You're only 11. You were only born in 2018.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott. We went over. We went over 80s history. I'm well versed in encyclopedia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know encyclopedia? Did you tap. Did they have that in Canada, Encyclopedia Brown? Or would it have been.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, but I don't know what I named.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't know what it is. It was a. It was a. A smart, very smart young lad who would take on cases. It seemed to always be one guy. Like the bully.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was always stealing everyone's pens or whatever, and he would always. He would always go question them.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then at the end of the story, it would be like he would say, I know who stole it. You did. Bruno. Or whatever his name was.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah. And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then it would ask the reader, like, do you know why? And it was. It was something that was said in the questioning. If you were smart enough, you picked up on it.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I never picked up on it once.

[Scott Aukerman]

So then why do you want to be a private investigator?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, I just feel the need to help others out, all right? I've been struggling so much, and sometimes I feel like I'm not getting any help. I'll tell you what. Dean Oxton, my bully at school, also the dean.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a dean of your elementary school?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he bullies you?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, he's my main bully.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Not my only bully, but he's my main bully.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Anyways, I feel like Dean Oxton should be helping me out from time to time, but he's not helping at all. So I decided I need to help myself and I need to help others.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Robbie Delmuda]

And you're the first person I've decided to help.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you're going to take on a case for me?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, this is incredible. I don't. I didn't know I needed help.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, I noticed that you haven't had a cat around in a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's kind of intentional. I'm allergic and.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Wait. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm allergic to cats. I don't really.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Wait. Do you not have a cat?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I don't own a cat, no.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I thought you had a cat and you lost your cat, so I've been looking around for a bunch of cats for a brunch. I brought him. Yeah, a bunch of cats. I brought a few of them in here today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is that what's in that sack next to you?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. I, I. Please don't open the sack. God. I said, please don't open the sack. I don't know if you heard me.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I'm sorry, Scott. I only heard. I tuned in and tuned out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you heard please, and then you tuned out.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Open don't open the sack.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then tune back in for open.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I was right back in it, Scott. You can hear these cats. They're so cute. Listen to them. Ah, you could hear them later.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, they're silent. Are you sure they're alive?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I'm pretty sure they're alive, Scott. Pretty sure, Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love for you to be 100.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Okay, let me take a look.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they moving around?

[Robbie Delmuda]

They're moving around, Scott. They're cats, for Pete's sake. They ain't gonna sit still.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you brought a bunch of cats over here. Even though I'm allergic and have never

[Robbie Delmuda]

owned a cat, I've blown this first case, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tatiana, do you want to own a cat or.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I gotta be honest, I'm super allergic to. To cats. This. I. I can't. I can't go near that sack.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Not one program that you've been on has had a cat in. As a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you ever have a cat in one of your shows?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Not a single show. And if we did, we had to kill it because it couldn't be around it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crazy. So they wrote a cat into Orphan Black.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. And.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you got the script and said, kill this thing.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I said, you gotta cast it and kill it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you wanted it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Cast the cat and kill the cat. Kill the Cat is a book. It's a very famous screenplay.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. Notoriously, you have to kill the cat in order to win the girl or get the gun.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Ah, yes. I love hearing the insider Hollywood stuff from time to time. It takes my mind off of my life. It's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What's your favorite piece of Hollywood gossip? Do you read Deux Moi? Oh, Scott.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes, I read Du Moi, Scott. Hey, did you know this Sylvester Stallone, he's gonna make another Rocky.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that's not, like, insider gossip. I mean, I guess it hasn't been announced to the trades.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Is he gonna be the Rocky?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Is he?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, he's gonna be the Rocky. He's going back one more time into the ring.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

And it's gonna be very exciting. And the hope is. The hope is that. The hope is that he wins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I mean, I would imagine he controls that aspect of the character.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And it's as easy as if the script says he doesn't win. Just.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crossing out doesn't.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I mean, it's my hope that he wins. I haven't read the script yet. I guess I'm just hoping that he writes that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And where did you hear about this Dumois okay? And they. It's just a new Rocky movies coming out.

[Robbie Delmuda]

New Rocky movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not the juiciest piece of Hollywood gossip I've ever heard. Usually Hollywood gossip is more about, like, who's having sex with who or who's really an asshole on set or whatever, you know?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Well, not every day is a big news day, Scott, all right? You just got to fill it in from time to time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just news that you read today?

[Robbie Delmuda]

This is news I read today. Sorry. There's not some big, gossipy, explosive thing happening right now. I don't control what's going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but you're the one who wanted to talk about it. I didn't even.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, I do want to talk about it, but now I'll tell you what, I'm not as excited to talk about it. You don't like the cats? You don't like my gossip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, maybe write some of the gossip that Tad is. Has brought us. You know, with the Marvel Universe stuff, you know?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. You got any sweet goss from that universe?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, Tatiana. Look, I'm already in fifth grade. I'm in court cases, and I'm a private investigator. What do you want me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never watched she Hulk, huh? You never watched she Hulk. Wow.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Open your ears.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, I'm 11 years old.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, my gosh.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I thought that. I'm so sorry. I'm still catching up. I'm still catching up on. On the. The regular Hulk. The regular Hulk.

[Scott Aukerman]

The regular.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You're starting from scratch. You start chronologically, Eric.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Or Lou Ferrigno.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Original. Yeah. Because you can't understand a she Hulk if you haven't seen Hulk.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Tatiana Maslany]

So many. Yes. There's. You have to understand that lore.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, yeah. You got to know your history, Scott. I don't know if I told you this earlier, but. You got to know your history. Doomed to repeat it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you did tell it to me. Yeah, well, I. That's too bad that you never saw she Hulk, but once you do, please, I'll give you T's personal info. You can let her know what you think, all the issues you have, and

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'll bring you over the screeners, and I'll sit down with you and watch them with you. That's the service that I do.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Mind if I invite Deanna Bermuda along? Because it'll be. That sounds like a great little date.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I love the idea. What. What is your favorite thing about D. Diana Bermuda.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, she's got the prettiest hair. Her hair is so pretty. And she's so. She's so funny. She's so funny and not like, you know, she's not even trying to be funny. She's naturally funny. She makes me laugh all the time and I just, like, I just find anything. She's just talking. She could talk about the weather, Scott, and I'm loving it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it would be funny if she talks about the weather.

[Tatiana Maslany]

What kind of thing would she say about the weather?

[Robbie Delmuda]

She said, what is it raining? Cats. And also more cats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where the dogs. And she's not trying to be funny.

[Robbie Delmuda]

She's not trying to be funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds a little like she's trying to be funny.

[Robbie Delmuda]

She's not, Scott. She's not. That's a genuine question that she asked.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's why she genuinely thinks that it should be like dogs should be falling out of the sky.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, do you not think that's the cutest thing?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, if she genuinely believes that, then I worry for her sanity, actually.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Well, Scott, I'm also worried about her sanity, but that's because I care.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, okay. Well, I don't care, but I still think she might be a little off a rocker, but that's okay. I'm glad that things are working out for you and listeners of this show. You've been on a few times. They pointed out, for an 11 year old, you have a relatively deep voice. But have you been through puberty? I. I don't recall, Scott.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I go in and out of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So when you're on the show, you're in it?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes. Then when I'm out of it is like. You know how it's like when someone from, let's say someone from the South. Let's just use that as the example. It could be anyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. They could be from anywhere.

[Robbie Delmuda]

It could be from anywhere, Scott. It could be from anywhere. It could honestly be from the north, but let's just say it's from the South. And they have like a deep, beautiful southern accent. But when they're out of the south for a little bit, they might lose it. But when they go back home, they're right back in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're code switching because you're around adults as that intentional.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott. This is just what happens things, all right? I just do. I just live. I'm around adults. I feel like I just get into the rhythm of it. And when I get back around my age, then I. I got. There's no armpit hair. There's no nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So it recedes back into your Body.

[Robbie Delmuda]

It retracts. It goes right back in.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Is that painful?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Horrifically. It's horrifically painful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I gotta grip my teeth and I bear it because I gotta stay focused. Otherwise, Mrs. Bunker's gonna be like, could you quiet down, Robbie? And I don't want to say to him, my armpit has go back into my body.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's what your voice sounds like when it's.

[Robbie Delmuda]

When you're right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, got it.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

It sounds like you have a real contentious relationship with Mrs. Bunker.

[Robbie Delmuda]

She has a real contentious relationship with me, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, yeah, sure, but. So all of these cases are ongoing?

[Robbie Delmuda]

They're all ongoing, Scott. None of them are being resolved. A couple of them are on recess right now. And speaking of, I am also on recess right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you for making the show at some point. Yeah, no, we are going to wrap it up at some point.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Great. Because I got a tetherball I got to get to soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. Okay. So your recess. I would imagine it's lunch recess, because recesses Normally are, what, 15 minutes or so?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, 15 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Robbie Delmuda]

But when you're my age, they feel like they go on forever, and they feel like they're no time at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't they, though? But it's really just an excuse to get the kids out there running around so they're not fidgeting in their seats and screaming at you, right?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes, that's right. At least that's what Mrs. Bunker tells me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Interesting. So all of that is going on at night, right? You have become a private investigator at points during the day. Have there been any other cases other than this disappearance of the mysterious cats that I don't own?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I've cracked the big one, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes, I've cracked the big one. There was a. Someone. There was a. There was a man. All right. And he said he was injured. It was. I was working for a big insurance company. I know I said I was talking working for the little man, but in this case, I had to take a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, one.

[Scott Aukerman]

One for you, One for them.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, one for. One for them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Robbie Delmuda]

And so I did. He was saying that he was injured, so I just. I had to prove whether or not that he was actually injured because he was trying to get workman's comp.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. How did you do it? Did you take photographs when he, like, took off his neck brace or.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Photographs of when he took off his neck brace? And I'd follow him around when he would go for rides, and I'd say, what is he going to the gym.

[Scott Aukerman]

How would you follow me? Because you're an 11 year old boy. What do you mean follow?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I lose them right away.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Are you on bicycle? I picture you on bicycle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you on bicycle?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I'm on bicycle right now. I'm on bicycle. I'm on bicycle right now. And my. I lost my kickstand. It's been a balancing act and I'm struggling here, Scott. My legs are getting. My core is getting tired.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can put the bicycle down. But I didn't know that you were still on that. You feel free to do whatever you need to do.

[Robbie Delmuda]

No, because I gotta go. I gotta find this guy. He's at a gym. I'm not sure which one.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you, you were tailing this guy, but you'd lose him within seconds?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I lost him within seconds, Scott. So I just like. I was like, well, I guess I'm gonna go get a Slurpee. So then I went, I got a little something to drink. It's hot outside, Scott. We're approaching summertime and it's gonna be so great. I can't wait to be out of school for the summer. Okay, and anyways, just to wrap this one up. So I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, by all means, take the time you need, but please wrap it up within the conceivable future.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Anyways, I think he. I think he is going to the gym. And so I've told this insurance company, I don't know if you heard of it, it's not a few of the states, it's not some of the states. I'm not going to say which insurance company is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I know.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Okay, that's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. 100% of the states.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah. You know what it is? And anyways, I think that he's actually faking it. So I think you have no proof

[Scott Aukerman]

because you haven't been able to actually follow this guy.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Not at all. Yet. Yeah, but I got to hunch, Scott. And I'll tell you what, I got a sixth sense like nobody's business.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Have you seen the sixth sense?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Don't tell me how it starts, okay?

[Tatiana Maslany]

You know how it ends.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that part, but I don't know. I know how. I don't know how it begins. Leave that up to me to see it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's how he becomes a ghost, Sean. Well, I mean, good for you. And what, are they keeping you on retainer? How much do they pay you to do this kind of stuff?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I do have a retainer, Scott. I'm getting braces.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so they, they they're paying for your retainer. Embraces.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

In order for you to tail this guy.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, Deanna likes straight teeth, and I want to. I want her to approve.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay? Yeah. Well, that's great. I mean, you know. How's her teeth?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, straight and pointy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pointy?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You have little sharp teeth.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has she filed them down or is she, like a goth or what?

[Robbie Delmuda]

God made her that way, Scott, and I love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, and this. She's a woman. She's been on this show, right?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

She's been a child. She's not a woman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, she's not a girl, but not, you know, Britney Spears, right?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so, yeah, she's got pointy teeth and she's got a. She's got a human that won't quit.

[Scott Aukerman]

And her hair humor that won't quit.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

And I'll tell you what, Scott, she's not even trying, all right? She doesn't even try.

[Tatiana Maslany]

She flash her little sweet, little sharp teeth. After she makes a joke, she flashes

[Robbie Delmuda]

teeth and she gives me a little wink with both eyes, and it is the cutest thing you've ever seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then. And then during lunch, does she, like, tear into just, like, raw meat or.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I don't know that she's a human being.

[Tatiana Maslany]

What, is she up during the day?

[Robbie Delmuda]

She is. She's often. She's.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's sleeping during the day.

[Robbie Delmuda]

She's sleeping. She does nap a lot during the day. And then she's always, like, reaching out to me at night, but I'm like. I'm in court right now. I can't talk right now yet. I'd love to, but I can't.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Have you ever taken a photo together or seen her school photo?

[Robbie Delmuda]

I've taken a photo with her, but every time I get it developed, I tell you what, it's like. She's got. She got camera shy. At the last moment, she's gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a feeling this is some sort of cryptid or something. That.

[Robbie Delmuda]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't. Yeah. I don't know. You know what I'm saying?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Tatiana let the right one in.

[Scott Aukerman]

A legendary being. Like a Bigfoot or like an angel.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott. I couldn't agree more. Deanna is angel to me.

[Tatiana Maslany]

She levitate.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah. And it's so funny when she does it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And she's not even trying to be funny when she does it, but I

[Robbie Delmuda]

laugh and I laugh. It is so great, Scott. She just floats around, and then sometimes

[Scott Aukerman]

she gets real tiny and she's at school with you? Sometimes.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Tatiana Maslany]

When she comes to school, is she near the window? Can she sit anywhere?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, no, she's a bashful gal.

[Scott Aukerman]

From the window to the walls till the sweat drips down my balls. Any of that going on?

[Tatiana Maslany]

What does she think of Lil Jon as a musician in general?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Because this will tell us a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Robbie Delmuda]

She thinks what we all think about him. He's great.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay, all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's in the human column, I think.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But then again, cryptids might think that Little John is great, too. I don't know.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I don't know what a cryptid is.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, like a Bigfoot or a Loch Ness monster.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Tatiana Maslany]

A Sasquatch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not specifically, but a mythical being.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Huh?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Right.

[Tatiana Maslany]

A unicorn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. I mean, yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

A demon is a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it? That's a good question for the Internet. Is a unicorn a cryptid? A unicorn is considered a cryptid in the broadest sense. An animal whose existence is unverified by science. That's a cryptid.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So I think, you know Deanna. Deanna. What's. What's her name?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Diana. Bermuda.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bermuda. And you're Robbie Delmuda.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's cute.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Thanks, Scott.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You guys are practically married.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Oh, my gosh. I couldn't even. Tatiana. I'm too young for that. But also, I. I want that more than anything in the world.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Do you guys ever talk about what that day would look like for both of you?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, sometimes we do. She said you'd have. If. If we do, we'd have to take on a. We'd have to do a ritual, and I would have to. She says I'd have to become one of her, which I agree. Like, once you get married, you kind of infuse the other person situation, isn't it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. You know what I'm saying? He's gonna have to become a mermaid, whatever she is.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Put a city fountain in his.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's gonna have living room teeth, whatever.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the end of this ceremony. Yeah. It would be difficult for you guys to do with your last names, like a Brangelina type thing, because it would just be either Bermuda or Delay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Is the Muda.

[Scott Aukerman]

D. Muda or Bermuda Or Bermuda.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess Del Muta would be the closest thing, like just changing it to a liquid you.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah, I guess. You know what? I never thought about that, Scott. I guess I've just been so wrapped up with granite investment court cases that I guess I just really haven't thought about what our names would be. I'm just. I'm just trying to live my life one day at a time, Scott.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

One day at a time is all we can really do.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Also one heck of a Show by Wright Scott. 80s history.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now you're blinking at me. Yeah. You're trying to wink, but you're using both eyes. And you're doing so slowly. Yes. And your tongue is sticking out. Okay, well, look, Robbie Del Muda, it's great to hear an update on your life, the continuing saga.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, I feel like I've just monopolized all the time. I did ask nothing about you and what's going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, that's okay. No one needs to know about me. But we are running up here on a break. Tell you what, why don't we take a break and we'll come back. You can both stick around, right?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, they are alive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Robbie, why are you saying meow?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Sorry, I was just trying to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you trying to pretend that these cats are alive?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, I'm sure they're alive.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Diana didn't ask you to get this bag of cats for any reason.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, and deliver it for her.

[Robbie Delmuda]

She asked if I would swing by afterward and drop them off.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Whichever cat Scott didn't take.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think she's eating the cats.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I think she's eating the cats. She's eating the dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, why do we all know that? All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Robbie Del Muda, more Tatiana Mosa. We'll be right back with more company banking after this.

[Robbie Delmuda]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits. The other guys guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best mobile network based on analysis by Google of speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US

[Scott Aukerman]

cellular network footprints will enhance the T

[Robbie Delmuda]

Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

See t mobile.com for details. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Do you have things that keep you up at night? And I'm not talking about your children or your loved ones. What I'm saying, and I hope you know what I'm saying. Look, stuff, you know, it sometimes can get hard to sleep. You got stuff that you're going over in your mind and then you look at the clock and it's four in the morning. You're like, I've been thinking about this for hours. Look, we mono focus on our problems, don't we? Well, if you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck or anxious or unsure, that look, that's okay. Those feelings are more common than we think. And May is mental health awareness month, which is a good reminder that you don't have to go through those feelings alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can make all the difference. Whatever is keeping you up at night, therapy with BetterHelp can help you check in with yourself and gain support from experienced professionals. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Just take a short questionnaire and by God, this thing is short. To identify your needs and preferences. And BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. Feel confident knowing betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US you don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bang Bang. That is better ht elp.com Bang Bang. The new Strawberry Watermelon Refresher is now at McDonald's. It's made with strawberries and a whole lot of whimsy. It's one of many new drinks now at McDonald's.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Tatiana Maslany is here along with Robbie Delmuda. Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed is the show May 20th. Is this like a sexy show? Why is it called Maxim Pleasure Guarantee? Like, you know what I'm talking about?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Like, do you do I know what sexy is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you do the dirty deed in this show?

[Tatiana Maslany]

There might be a little deed dirtying?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Tatiana Maslany]

But don't worry, it's fully clothed. No one sees butts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And everyone's standing up.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Everyone's standing up at a distance across the room from each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And mostly just writing on pages. This is what I would do to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's.

[Tatiana Maslany]

It's quite erotic, actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hell yeah. I love that.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Pages just get wetter and wetter.

[Scott Aukerman]

They use them to sop their.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Just your hands because your hands are sweaty from all that writing. Because you're sort of writing paragraphs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I thought your genital juices might have been my.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Nothing. Nothing. Has any interviewer ever said those words?

[Tatiana Maslany]

They've said? I was just wondering about your genital juices. Only four Variety, Hollywood Reporter, Business Insider, and Ink.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Tatiana Maslany is here and that's fascinating stuff.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Is there an order for Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, guys, I think I Ubered.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah. Scott, did you order a Starbucks egg bite?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on in. Sorry to do that. You can, you know, I said it to be delivered in like at the end of the show, but sometimes they're a little early. Come on in, come on in. Where are you? I'm sorry, I can't see you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm down here. You can put. You can put me on the table. I'm inside the Coco.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're what?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm inside the cocoa. The autonomous vehicle delivery system.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Tatiana Maslany]

With the little blinky eyes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the little blinky eyed guy.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

You can unlock me and let me in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you're the. Why, you're the delivery person, but you're inside an automated delivery person.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm a Starbucks egg bite. And I'm inside of a cocoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're the egg bite. Oh, okay, let me open it up here. Oh, no, that's the bag with cats. Excuse me. Oh, God, they're all dead.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You have to open the butt of the cocoa. That's where it plops out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, let me just get behind it and. Oh, it's not opening up. Let me do it with my teeth. Okay, Okay, I opened up the butt of the cocoa.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, here you are.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You did great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hey. There you are, little cutie.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I don't know. This is where I'm gonna die.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh,

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess. Are you. I mean, you're a sentient egg bite. I don't know that I. Yeah, yeah,

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm an egg bite. No, you can eat me. It's fine. You can eat me, it's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. I. Look, if it's any consolation, I asked for you to be warmed up. I thought you would have died during the heat of that.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No, I'm built to sustain the travel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, okay. But then not to sustain within my stomach. I guess the acids in my stomach lining and all that will kind of tear away at you and eat you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, that's how I'm gonna die.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. You're so cute, though.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I could not eat you, I guess. I am very, very hungry.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Scott, you're protein deficient. We all know it. We've always been. We've all been talking about it.

[Robbie Delmuda]

God, you gotta eat.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yes.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No, you can eat me. It's fine. You can eat me.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I mean, I don't have to eat.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

You seem really hungry. And you can eat me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm feeling really bad for you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, I didn't get a very long life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How long? Yeah. What's your history here?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, I got frozen six years ago, and I've been kind of in a cryo state, sort of in a free state.

[Scott Aukerman]

Walt Disney.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess you know who that is. I'm so sorry.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. I know who Walt Disney is. Because when they pull me out of the cryo state and get reheated in the oven, and then they download me with kind of the consciousness of the entire world, So I do know who all this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait a minute. Fifth Element style. Okay, so, yeah, so when you got to, like, World War II and you saw pictures of Hitler, did you cry?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I said, no, skip that. Keep going, Keep going. And we kept going, and it was fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you. You. You have the entire. This is like AI or something. You have the entire. Every. Everything that's ever been learned.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

It's not like. Yeah, it's like. I guess it's AI they show me a video of Michelle Obama. She kind of explains what's all happening. That I'm being reheated so that I can feed it and feed the world.

[Scott Aukerman]

She taped that, really? Before she left the White House or after

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

it was timestamped four years ago.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, and she said, for a Netflix deal.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, it was Netflix branded.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. This is higher grounds.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, yeah, she said it was. It was a higher grounds thing. And then you can see Barack in the back. He's waving.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's waving. Oh, that's so nice of him.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Is he waving at the camera or is he waving at somebody else?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

It seemed like maybe he was waving to someone off stage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like maybe Michelle was playing basketball with or something.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I think Michelle, like, just didn't warn him that he was kind of walking through set and he was just kind of like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was he sort of going like, hey, don't you want to read my 20 songs of 2026?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

That's exactly what he was saying. He was saying, don't you want to read my 20 songs of 2026?

[Scott Aukerman]

My big list?

[Tatiana Maslany]

And what was the answer? What did the person say?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

The person was like,

[Tatiana Maslany]

shh, we're filming kind of thing.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

They showed Barack up. Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so then. And then once that was over. The prologue.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then suddenly the entirety of. I got downloaded all of human information,

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

all of human consciousness, and then I got put in a cocoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wait, you must have heard all 970, whatever episodes of this show.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I Heard a lot of. I will say I tuned out for a little bit, but I clock I was in my head.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would say just the first 10 years. Don't even bother what you're saying.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I was in, I was out, but I caught a good chunk of it. Okay, very funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Always nice to meet a fan.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Some of it confusing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it your favorite podcast?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, no, my favorite podcast is the Office Ladies podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that's understandable. Are they going back through the episodes they've already done yet of the Office Ladies? Yeah, of the.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, they're starting to recap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, there's a recap of the Office Ladies podcast?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

That's the one that I'm watching.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, who does that one?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, it's Kevin from the Office.

[Scott Aukerman]

Office.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, and he recaps Office Ladies Podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

I understand.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, it's really funny. It's really good. It's really funny. And you learn a lot. But you can eat me now. You can kill me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I. Look, I love hearing about, you know, before I kill my guests, I like to talk about their lives.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So you. You started out as. As an egg. You were a fertilized or unfertilized egg.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Or unfertilized. My mother never knew.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Love.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Love.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm so sorry. Did you know your mother?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you came out of her butthole or whatever, right?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, Yeah, I came out of my mom's butthole and then. And she sort of nudged me to the side, and I never really got to know her.

[Tatiana Maslany]

When. When would you say you had consciousness inside your mother?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, inside my mother.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good question.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I just want to get it straight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

When it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because if you remember that, that'll settle

[Tatiana Maslany]

a lot of issues. A lot of issues.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah. I would say I conception probably.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Was it when your dad, if you had a dad, thought about fucking your mom? Or was it.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No, I gained consciousness at about, like, 20 weeks. Oh, yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that settles it.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, perfect.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

So, yeah, you was like, Scott, you either could have killed me early, but now you can kill me now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I mean, I feel bad doing it now. I mean, now that I've gotten to

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

know you, I barely got to live.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you do? When? After you were born. After you. You know. Well, I. I guess you weren't born. You came out of your.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I came out of my mother's butthole, and then I got cracked into, like, a big pot, and it got mixed up with a bunch of other eggs, and they added Bacon and cheddar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so you're a whole bunch of different eggs right now?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, I'm an egg bite.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you're a whole. But you're, like, 20 different eggs.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I mean, it's Starbucks, Scott. They're not doing single eggs. It's. It's a big mixture. There's a little bit of. There's a bit of egg formula that's not entirely egg, but they can brand it as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

So are you, like, a split personality? Like a Sybil or something like that, but an egg bite?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

If you want to call it that, that's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who am I talking to right now? Which. Which personality am I talking to right now?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Right now? You're talking to. Well, Eggy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Eggy.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

You're talking to Eggy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, can you access any of your other egg personalities or.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, but you don't. You're not gonna like some of them. Some of them are a lot meaner than me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, who else is in there?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

All right, let me try to channel them. Let me try to channel your Yoksie. Y. Come out. Y. Come out. It's me, Yolksy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Yolksy. Tattered, you all right?

[Tatiana Maslany]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never been around that type of male energy filming shield.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

You want to eat me?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, my God. Try. Oh, my God. Yolksy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yolksy. Hi, this is Scott Aukerman. I'm about to eat you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

All right, that's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was your life like?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, my life? I. I got popped out of my mom's butthole, and then I was mixed up into a bunch of stuff, and then I went into a freezer, went to cryo, learned about the world. I came out, and I have dreams.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are your dreams, Yoksie?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, I'd love to. I'd love to have sex with Frankie Muniz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I mean, look, dad and I work in Hollywood, and we don't want to brag, but I think we can make that happen.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Are you serious? Because when I came out of cryo and they were downloading stuff, I got really into Malcolm in the Middle.

[Tatiana Maslany]

The new one or the old one?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, well, I'm saving the new one. I'm loving the old stuff. Stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

If we could. Okay, so an egg bite is circular. If we could cut a little tiny hole in the middle of you. Is that where you are, Yoksie, or. Because I want to make sure you. Oh, you're dead. Oh, no.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Of course.

[Robbie Delmuda]

I hear a little bit of Hollywood gossip real quick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Please, Robbie.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Frankie Muniz. Has had some hair work done.

[Tatiana Maslany]

What?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm still on the. I'm still on the season six, so I haven't seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. They're back doing a whole new season of.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Did he have to go back into puberty? Did his hair go back into his head? Or is he. His own.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is that what happened? He lost all of his hair because he was regressing into before puberty.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Is this like a now time? Is it like Malcolm now, or is it Malcolm then Malcolm now?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's Malcolm now now. But he thought it was. It was like, hey, we're getting the group back together, right? So he regressed his hair.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, I just. I just channeled all of human consciousness and I got the answer.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

He was sort of having a receding Caroline, so we went to Turkey, got it done, no problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the Andrew Garfield. Yeah. Oh, shots.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Common knowledge.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, interesting. Well, Yoksey, I would cut a hole in the middle of this egg bite so that Frankie Muniz can stick his penis into you. But I'm worried that it would take out the part of your consciousness.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No, I'm gonna have sex with Frankie Muniz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, you're gonna. Oh, okay. So you wanna be stuffed into him?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Would you eat yolksy and eggy after that?

[Scott Aukerman]

After that?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. Would you let them live their lives and then eat them all?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Please, please, Scott, please let me go inside.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fr thing I've ever done.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

It's not the worst thing you've ever done.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I mean, it's not the grossest thing I think that I've ever done,

[Tatiana Maslany]

but what is the grossest thing you've ever done?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think that I want to say it on this show, but you can read about it on.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I have all of human consciousness and I know and it's nasty. I do. I do know it's nasty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you been looking at. At me through my computer?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, no, I set up.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

By the way, I know what everyone's thinking about. Everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Yeah. You could just interpret it or interpolate it.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

It was all downloaded to me when Michelle Obama gave us that speech.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. What is. What is Tatiana thinking about? I've always wondered because she's. She's very opaque.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, closed book.

[Scott Aukerman]

Uh huh.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Tatiana's talking something about. About she Hulk and the money.

[Scott Aukerman]

She Hulk and the money.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's right. I am thinking about she Hulk and the money right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you regretting your decision?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm just thinking she Hulk and the money.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're both green.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And then.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, she's thinking something about how she didn't give all the money back.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Wait, What?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

What?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, my.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I don't know what that means. Yoksey.

[Tatiana Maslany]

This is why I was afraid of Yoksie, because Yoksie is a truth teller.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, you didn't. How much did you keep for yourself?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

If you don't want the truth, you can just eat me.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Maybe I will.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no. Oh, Yosi's retreating. Oh, wait.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who. Okay, who else is coming back? Who's coming back?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, some sort of British egg. Oh, hello.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm Whitey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, a British Australia.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Like a scotch egg.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I'm a scotch egg.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Scotch. I thought I recognized that.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yes, this is a Scottish egg.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll settle on it at some point.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Top of the morning, too.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's absolutely Scottish. And I've also studied dialects. That is a deep Scottish accent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. We're doing a show in Glasgow soon, so I really want to pick up.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, you're gonna.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, they'll love this in Glasgow. I can tell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm absolutely positive.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what's your name?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, I'm Whitey.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're Whitey.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Is it Whitey or Whitey?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's Whitey.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

We're saying the same thing.

[Tatiana Maslany]

White, E. Oh, okay.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Whitey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it like Wally, where it's white dash E or it's.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yes, it's white dash E. Whitey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, Whitey, so wonderful to meet you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, fantastic.

[Tatiana Maslany]

White is kind of a. Like a lad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I sort of want to have a pint with Whitey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, you guys want to have a pint? Go have a party.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's. What are you all about? Whitey? Tell us about your life.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, me? Well, I was pooped out of my

[Scott Aukerman]

mom's butthole, and that's a pretty common theme.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yes. And then I was mixed up into

[Scott Aukerman]

a big old bowl.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Scottish. I was mixed up into a big old bowl. And then I was mixed up with some other eggs and. And bacon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just think Shrek. Just say donkey.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I'm in that case sometimes.

[Scott Aukerman]

There you go. There you go. You're in.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I was mixed into a big old bowl of.

[Scott Aukerman]

You lost again. Say donkey. Anytime you lose it, say Donkey.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Donkey. And then I was fro. I saw the Michelle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Donkey. Donkey.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Donkey.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Donkey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Donkey.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Donkey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Donkey. All.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

All the human consciousness has confused my accent a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I understand that. You just heard every single person, every accent there is. And now I've got every YouTube video, every. Every podcast.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Exactly. And I guess. I guess you can eat me if you want. Fine. Whatever. Okay. I just. I would love to see Oppenheimer before I go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you. Wait, so all of human consciousness was downloaded into your body except Oppenheimer?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I missed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you saw the Academy Awards telecast where it was celebrated?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, yeah, I saw. I saw that. And I go, I gotta catch that one. And I. I just missed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why would they.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Barbie Twice. Twice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, they thought they were showing you Barbenheimer instead. It was just Barbie twice.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I just liked Barbie. So I saw it twice. Donkey. Donkey. So don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, we need to talk to someone else.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

All right. Cheers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's back? Is this Eggsy back? Who do we have Eggy? Yeah. Oh, hey, Eggy.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Hey.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a trip. Inside the egg bites.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

That.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is you. Wow.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I'm a lot of stuff, but you can kill me now.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I mean, we were thinking about sticking you up Frankie Muniz's.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, you talked to Yoksi?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. You've talked to Yokesie as well?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, Yokes in. He's. He's mixed in with me. He's talking about Frankie Muniz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So we were thinking about doing that. Unless you have any objection.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, I don't really.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, look, it's. You're going to be inside someone's body, either the front hole or the back hole.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I guess it's. It's kind of the age old question. Like, would you rather be in Scott's stomach or Finkey Muniz's urethra?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. Oh, wait. You think you're going in that hole?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I don't. What were you guys talking?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we're. There's. There's a different one that I think we were talking about. But that's okay. We. We don't need to get into the physiology.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No, like, whatever you're into, go for it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sure.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Well, I guess we can ask Yoksie what he thinks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is Yoksie coming back?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can you. Yeah. Which hole did you want to go into, Frankie Mutants.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I was thinking urethra.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Then why did you. I. I was. I was saying we would cut a hole in you and Frankie would.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I thought you were cutting a hole so that you would just get me out of the egg bite and then stuff me in the hole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, he'll stick his penis in you. I think he'd be more into that, honestly.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, my God. Let me check with the boys, make sure that's okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yo, good. You're getting content with all the personalities.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Whitey, you cool if Frankie Munis digging us? All right, Donkey.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No problem. No problem, brothers. As long as it's okay with Eggy. Yeah, that's okay with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So you're one of those split personalities that only has three. Okay, interesting.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Well, you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

We don't. We don't really.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, even Tatiana played seven different people. Or how many did you play?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, but none of them were eggs.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, we got.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were any of them Scottish, though?

[Tatiana Maslany]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you ever get to say donkey?

[Tatiana Maslany]

I didn't. I tried desperately and they cut it. Oh, cuz, it's hard.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

It's. It's next to impossible. Yeah, it's one of the hardest things a person can do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, tell you what. Tad and I will both, I think, text Frankie from gave me half of his phone number. Did he give you the other half?

[Tatiana Maslany]

He did, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so War Game style, we have to be next to each other and do it.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Just sync your phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Sync your phone with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm syncing my phone. And. Yeah, it is a long process.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Can it.

[Scott Aukerman]

The set of Malcolm, the current Malcolm in the Middle reboot.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, if it's still film, I'm pretty sure. I bet it'll. It'll get picked up, right?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, they're doing re. Shoot.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not one of these Star Trek Voyager type.

[Tatiana Maslany]

No, no, they won't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever it was called. What was it called? Star Trek.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Star Trek Friends. Fleet Academy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Star.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Star Trek Friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Star Trek Friends.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah. The cast of Friends, they do a little episode. They get into the Star Trek universe.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I would love that.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes. We're blending crowds, we're blending audiences. Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, we're gonna text him once we sync our phones, if that's okay. And then we'll shoot him over to you. He'll, you know, stick his penis into you, shoot you right back here.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

And then you'll kill me.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we'll kill you. Yeah, that sounds good.

[Tatiana Maslany]

What a life.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a life, though. I mean, what an experience. A lot of people don't even get to do half of that.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I still. I'd love to see Paris, but whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't think that's in the cards for you. I don't think you would last that long, honestly, now that you've been cooked and.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Do you mean Paris Paris or Paris Hilton?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Paris Hilton.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I think I got her. The middle part of her number, but not the front. And the last.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I have her sex table to show that to you.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

That. That. That'll do the trick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

And then I'll die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, and then you'll die. Yeah, but I mean, look, a lot of people never even get to see her sex tape.

[Tatiana Maslany]

So true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, so, I mean, you know, you're. You're one of the lucky ones.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I have all of human consciousness and I actually have seen it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you've seen all the sex tapes?

[Tatiana Maslany]

What did you think?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I thought it was beautiful.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, it's like really well shot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two human beings enjoying each other. What could be more beautiful than that? Speaking of which, Maximum pleasure guaranteed May 20th.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Two women. People enjoying each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Uhhuh. On two women. Is that a spoiler?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Why, is it? Yeah, yeah, it's a spoiler.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, speaking of that. Egg bite and eggy, I guess, is your name. We are. We are running out of time. But we only have time for one final feature on the show. That is of course a little something called plugs.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

The outside world is looking clean.

[Scott Aukerman]

We could use a smile, a project,

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

just mind to the track to shut

[Scott Aukerman]

out for a little while. So no matter your content, I'll gladly help you pay your rent.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Unless you're rich in that game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Witch. I'll buy pirate. All right, that was JK about pirating Piracy Funds Narco Terrorism by the Knutsons. Thank you to the Knutsons for that. That plugs theme. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com plugs and upload it over there. You also have everything you need to make the Plug bag remixes for the Closing up. The Plug Bag. And what are we plugging? Tat, obviously. Big year for you. We have Maximum Pleasure guaranteed coming out May 20th.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Maximum pleasure guaranteed May 20th on Apple TV.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then also the Avengers. What is it called again? Doom.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Secret Doom. Avengers Wars. Colon Friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Colon friends. Oh, okay, great. So they're colon friends a lot.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Like what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Frankie Muniz.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Frankie Muniz in there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is Frankie in this?

[Tatiana Maslany]

He is, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who does he play? Iron Lad.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, I'll be checking the tiny egg and yeah, he's. He's great. It's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Work with a legend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can't wait to see you back. You know, as that big green girl.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Me too. But she's tiny, don't worry. And she's unintimidating. And don't worry, Boobs still got big boobs. But she's very swallow, so most of her body is her brow. Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, got it. So it weighs the same ways, the

[Tatiana Maslany]

exact same, but it's all.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's all just sucked into the boobs. Okay, fantastic. Robbie Del Mudo. What do you want to play?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Plug? Scott, I think if you want, you could be checking out St. Dennis Medical on NBC. More likely at this point on Peacock and also on Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, when Meki Leaper was on the show, Yes. I guessed that there would be a scene where someone adds a little tail to the D of St. Denis. So it says saint penis. And he confirmed that that was going to happen. But I. I understand from fans of the show that that scene has not been on yet. Yet. Is it because I spoiled it before it actually came out and they erased it?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Scott, it hasn't happened yet. But filming of season three starts up soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

So I'd say just, you know, keep your fingers crossed and keep your eyes glued to the screen.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is going to be amazing. Okay.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yes. And if you want to also check out some stuff, you could check out. You could check out Dave Tuning, doing some improv comedy at World's Greatest Improv School, Sunday nights in a show called Living Room. Living Room. Or you could check out shows at UCB like Ben Los Angeles in Los Angeles, California.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they live stream these, though?

[Robbie Delmuda]

Sometimes they live stream a lot of these shows, Scott, and you can check them out right from the comfort of your own home.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and I hope their homes are comfortable.

[Robbie Delmuda]

They are so comfortable. You got to imagine it, Scott. If they made it a house, they made it a home. And so you could check out Ask Cat or Bangarang and. And check out those shows as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Fantastic and eggy. I mean, your life is almost over, but do you have anything to plug?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, I would say you could check out Steph Burch one, I think, on Instagram and she'll post about shows. There's an awesome improv team called Shag that plays in Los Angeles and then also is going to New York in

[Scott Aukerman]

June for the dcm. Yeah. Fantastic. And speaking of live shows, I want to plug, of course, that Los Angeles show, September 19th here in Los Angeles at the Orpheum. Goes on sale this week, Friday. But if you want presale tickets, use the code code Beefing on Wednesday at 10am and also check out all of our other live dates. The tour is rapidly approaching. We start May 24th in Toronto and we're going to the Midwest after that, all sorts of places. And then we're going to the south and then the east and then The West.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Are you going central ever?

[Scott Aukerman]

We're doing Denver. Is that central? Yeah, I mean, central time zone. Isn't that Chicago and everything?

[Tatiana Maslany]

Don't ask me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I won't. Well, because you're from Regina. Like, what do they even use for clocks over there?

[Tatiana Maslany]

We're the only province that doesn't have daylight savings time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Congratulations.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And in my basement, there is, of course, Paul Bunyan pinball machine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Two great facts about Regina.

[Tatiana Maslany]

And I'm so glad you asked.

[Scott Aukerman]

So anyway, check out all of the live dates and you can get tickets for those. They're still on sale [e-mail] tour. And while you're over there at CBB World, check out all of our shows. We have great shows like hey Randy and the neighborhood. Listen, and Scott hasn't seen so much stuff over there. All right, let's close up the old plug.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Part.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hell yeah. That was Close the bag and open your butt Remix by Brandon E. Gaylor. Thanks so much to Brandon and guys, speaking of, thank you. Thank you to you, Tat. Wonderful to see you.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Great to see you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I hope to see you back in December plugging the Avengers show. And you know, let's make it a more regular occurrence that you're here because the Ten Timers Club.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Ten times over. Five years or six years?

[Scott Aukerman]

Eleven.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

What?

[Tatiana Maslany]

That is not a good ratio.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's almost once a year, so it's not bad. But let's get your stats up.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Barely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's get your stats up.

[Tatiana Maslany]

I need more jobs. I need more jobs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You need to be plugging more stuff because I only like to have you when you're plugging something.

[Tatiana Maslany]

That's true.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Yeah.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You're such a fair weather friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

I really am.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You're like, are you working?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm glad you noticed.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Robbie Delmuda, thanks so much to you.

[Robbie Delmuda]

Thanks, Scott, for having me on. I'm just gonna leave a couple of these cats here.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, please. I don't want you to leave the dead cats here. In fact, I think that Diana is that Deanna. I think she's hungry, so I think you're gonna want to bring them all to her.

[Robbie Delmuda]

You know Diana pretty well. She's pretty hungry.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me know whenever that ceremony occurs, by the way that turns you into whatever she is.

[Robbie Delmuda]

You'll be the first. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. And eggy.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did we get Tad? We gotta check in with Frankie Muniz. Did we get anything back?

[Tatiana Maslany]

He just sent three eggplants and one egg.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Oh, Yolks. He's gonna be thrilled.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I mean, let's. Is this machine still here to transport you over to Frankie Muniz's house?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah, we can hop in the cocoa and zoop on over to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great. Yeah, we can just input directions into him or. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Well, and then I'll come back and

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

you can kill me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. How long do you think it's gonna take for Frankie to do all this stuff?

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

I'm. You guys know him better than me,

[Tatiana Maslany]

but he's a fast operator.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah, he's kind of in and out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I am starving.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of thinking that maybe I don't let Frankie have a crack.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Maybe you just go, why don't you

[Scott Aukerman]

want to hop in the thing? Nibble a little bit of you. Before I.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

You wanna. You can hop in the coke. Okay. You can take.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me just nibble a little bit of you. I don't know which. Which part of you I'm gonna be

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

eating, but aim for the side because that's Shelly, and we don't like her that much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shelly. Oh, okay.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

There's some shell in there.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Yeah. Well, just a little bit. And it's a small enough amount that they can still market it as food.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Let me nibble just a little bit of you. Oh, my God.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

No, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my children.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Please, please, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Tatiana Maslany]

He won't just, like, take a full bite.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's just gnawing. They're so sharp.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

They're sharp like a cryptid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Oh, delicious. All right, we'll see you next time.

[Tatiana Maslany]

Thanks. Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, it's Kelly Ripa, and if you don't know, I have a podcast where I get to say whatever I want. Hold on. Let me get a shovel and a body bag. I envision doing a podcast with the conversations that happen in my dressing room off camera, where people feel free to talk. No hair, no makeup. This is my kind of job.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Only Kelly Ripa can ask me these questions.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm flipping the script and saying what's really on my mind.

[Robbie Delmuda]

We're seeing a different side of you. It's a little bit more honest.

[Scott Aukerman]

When the cameras go off, the real fun begins.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Get my hair done over here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, this is an off camera podcast, so it doesn't even matter. It's unfiltered conversations and unexpected confessions.

[Tatiana Maslany]

My mom says, woody, I knew your dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stop the presses. I would like to volunteer to administer any and all DNA tests. Maybe that should be part of the show.

[Egg Bite (Eggy, Yoksie, Whitey)]

Let's talk off camera with me Kelly Ripoff.

[Tatiana Maslany]

You just put that in the universe.

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Robbie Delmuda]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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