Podcast Summary: Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend – "A Clown Is Not An Alibi" (Jan 29, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Conan and co-hosts Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley welcome Matthew D. Goldie, an Australian circus clown known as "Goldie the Clown". The conversation is a deep dive into the life of a modern-day circus performer, the legacy of clowning, generational creativity, and the joys and challenges of a non-traditional career in laughter. The tone is characteristically light, playful, and self-deprecating, punctuated by heartfelt moments of kinship between comedic spirits.

Key Topics and Discussion Points

1. Meeting the Guest: Goldie the Clown

• Location & Background
  • Matthew is currently in Brisbane, Australia, touring with his circus ([01:39]).
  • He lives in a compact circus truck since his family "ran away from the circus" six months ago, a humorous inversion of the classic narrative ([02:33]).

    "My family have left. They ran away from the circus six months ago. So now I just live in my little truck." — Matthew D. Goldie ([02:33])

2. A Family in the Circus

• His circus origin story:

  • Sister was a dancer and joined the circus, prompting the family to sell their house and join as well ([03:47], [04:02]).
  • His mother worked in the canteen, father handled tickets, and his sister became a trapeze artist. Matthew naturally gravitated toward clowning ([04:16]).
  • A warm depiction of circus life and the roles family members play.

• Multi-generational involvement:

  • Conan points out their family has become a three-generation circus family—a revelation to Matthew ([07:46]).

    "You haven't thought about it... Matt just said exactly what you are." — Conan O'Brien ([07:50])

3. Finding the Clown Within

• On choosing clowning:

  • Matthew was naturally drawn to clowns, emulating them before he even realized it ([04:46]).
  • His "clown name" is Goldie, a choice both practical (family name) and whimsical ([05:07]).

    "It's a good name for a goldfish. It's a good name for a golden retriever. It's a stupid name for a clown." — Matthew D. Goldie ([05:24])

  • Sticking with the “classic” look—big shoes, hoopy pants, red nose, red wig—despite trends toward “scary” clowns in pop culture ([05:51]).

• The joy of performance:

  • Matthew emphasizes the childlike wonder of children as the best audience ([14:01]).

    "We had 800 school kids in the show yesterday...the noise was outrageous. They were laughing and screaming and hooing. It was beautiful." — Matthew D. Goldie ([14:01])

  • Conan echoes with his own love for making kids laugh, saying,

    "If two or three year olds are around, I work really hard to get them laughing. And if they don't laugh, I'm shattered. Absolutely shattered." — Conan O’Brien ([09:38])

4. Clown Life: Practicalities and Reflections

• The year-round grind:

  • Matthew performs around 360 shows a year, with decades of experience both in the circus and theme parks ([08:40]).
  • He acknowledges moments of doubt, particularly during the COVID pandemic when work disappeared, but always returns to clowning ([16:00]).

    "If you get cold hearted on making people laugh for a living and making children happy and old ladies and singing to people and buffooning, if you get cold hearted on that, then I think you'd be dead, wouldn't you? It fills my soul every time I come home." — Matthew D. Goldie ([16:00])

• Character and legacy:

  • Matthew draws inspiration from Conan’s style of physical comedy and audience engagement ([14:38], [15:02]).

    "I've been in the school of Conan for the last 30 years." — Matthew D. Goldie ([15:02])

  • He speaks to the durability of his clown persona: "My clown character is so strong now, after 35 years...I can't remember sometimes what my clown says or does" ([16:55]).

5. Comedy as Destiny and Identity

• Conan and Matthew riff on the notion that both talk show hosting and clowning are, at their core, about the art of inviting laughter ([14:19]).

• They contemplate the trope of “running away to join the circus” as both a literal and metaphorical escape for creative spirits ([17:47], [18:19]).

• Self-awareness about the importance and weirdness of their careers:

  "It's a great dodge. It's a great way to get through life, is to, to try and do this." — Conan O'Brien ([16:32])

• Identity responsibility:

  • Conan jokes,

    "A clown is not an alibi. Just so we can... You can't just say, I don't know. That was Goldie. It's not Matt's right. You can't do that. All right? You're responsible for yourself as Matthew and as Goldie." ([20:20])

6. Memorable Moments & Wit

• Running gags about clown crime (“A clown is not an alibi”), the family “running away from the circus”, and bits about circus stereotypes.
• Playful banter regarding bearded ladies, circus freaks, and the challenge of performing for kids, with the team affectionately roasting each other ([18:46]–[19:46]).
• Matthew expressing gratitude for Conan’s influence, and sharing a sweet example of how he bonds with his son through comedy ([20:49]).

Notable Quotes and Moments (with Timestamps)

• On clown inspiration:

  "This talk show host in America started to become my biggest inspiration for my clown...And in that interview, you said, basically, I'm a clown. Yeah. And I went, I knew it." — Matthew D. Goldie ([08:46])

• Conan on comedy’s essence:

  "I always wanted my show or whatever I was doing to be funny, even if the sound was off." — Conan O'Brien ([09:38])

• On the downsides of the job:

  "Do you ever have a day where you think, you know what? I'm feeling sore, I don't know if I got it anymore." — Conan O'Brien ([15:37])

• On bonding with his son:

  "My son and I have...we've yet to have a serious conversation. All we do is do bits and comedy and jokes...A lot of your ways of being have come into my son and my relationship." — Matthew D. Goldie ([20:49])

• On the importance of laughter:

  "There's a lot of things we could be doing in the world, hey. And making people happy is one of the good ones to do." — Matthew D. Goldie ([20:12])

Key Segment Timestamps

• [01:13] – Guest Introduction (Matthew D. Goldie, circus clown in Brisbane)
• [02:33] – Living in a circus truck; family context
• [03:47]–[04:16] – The family’s journey into circus life
• [05:07]–[06:13] – Goldie the Clown: character, look, philosophy
• [08:40] – Life cycle of a clown, 360+ performances/year
• [09:38]–[10:33] – Conan’s love for making children laugh; physical comedy and inspiration
• [14:01] – Highlights of performing for an audience of 800 children
• [16:00]–[16:55] – Career doubts, COVID-19 impacts, and passion for clowning
• [17:47]–[18:46] – Reflections on the dream of running away to join the circus
• [20:49] – Matthew’s appreciation for Conan’s impact on his family and comedic approach

Episode Tone and Takeaways

• The tone is gently self-mocking, affectionate, occasionally surreal, but always sincere in its embrace of comedy’s power to connect and heal.
• Both Conan and Matthew share the understanding that to be “a clown”—in any medium—is to be a craftsman of joy, to contend with fleeting doubts, and to create a sense of community for the audience and for one’s family.
• The episode captures the spirit of real friendship forged through laughter and a shared vocation.

Conclusion

A Clown Is Not An Alibi is a celebration of clowning as both calling and craft, highlighting the everyday happiness it brings to performers and audiences alike. Matthew D. Goldie’s story—equal parts unconventional and universal—resonates with Conan’s own journey, making for a charming, funny, and meaningful exchange.

For listeners who want a heartfelt look at circus life—and the comedians who keep our hearts light—this episode is a must.