A Clown Is Not An Alibi

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend – "A Clown Is Not An Alibi" (Jan 29, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Conan and co-hosts Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley welcome Matthew D. Goldie, an Australian circus clown known as "Goldie the Clown". The conversation is a deep dive into the life of a modern-day circus performer, the legacy of clowning, generational creativity, and the joys and challenges of a non-traditional career in laughter. The tone is characteristically light, playful, and self-deprecating, punctuated by heartfelt moments of kinship between comedic spirits.

---

Key Topics and Discussion Points

1. Meeting the Guest: Goldie the Clown

• Location & Background
  • Matthew is currently in Brisbane, Australia, touring with his circus ([01:39]).
  • He lives in a compact circus truck since his family "ran away from the circus" six months ago, a humorous inversion of the classic narrative ([02:33]).

    "My family have left. They ran away from the circus six months ago. So now I just live in my little truck." — Matthew D. Goldie ([02:33])

2. A Family in the Circus

• His circus origin story:

  • Sister was a dancer and joined the circus, prompting the family to sell their house and join as well ([03:47], [04:02]).
  • His mother worked in the canteen, father handled tickets, and his sister became a trapeze artist. Matthew naturally gravitated toward clowning ([04:16]).
  • A warm depiction of circus life and the roles family members play.

• Multi-generational involvement:

  • Conan points out their family has become a three-generation circus family—a revelation to Matthew ([07:46]).

    "You haven't thought about it... Matt just said exactly what you are." — Conan O'Brien ([07:50])

3. Finding the Clown Within

• On choosing clowning:

  • Matthew was naturally drawn to clowns, emulating them before he even realized it ([04:46]).
  • His "clown name" is Goldie, a choice both practical (family name) and whimsical ([05:07]).

    "It's a good name for a goldfish. It's a good name for a golden retriever. It's a stupid name for a clown." — Matthew D. Goldie ([05:24])

  • Sticking with the “classic” look—big shoes, hoopy pants, red nose, red wig—despite trends toward “scary” clowns in pop culture ([05:51]).

• The joy of performance:

  • Matthew emphasizes the childlike wonder of children as the best audience ([14:01]).

    "We had 800 school kids in the show yesterday...the noise was outrageous. They were laughing and screaming and hooing. It was beautiful." — Matthew D. Goldie ([14:01])

  • Conan echoes with his own love for making kids laugh, saying,

    "If two or three year olds are around, I work really hard to get them laughing. And if they don't laugh, I'm shattered. Absolutely shattered." — Conan O’Brien ([09:38])

4. Clown Life: Practicalities and Reflections

• The year-round grind:

  • Matthew performs around 360 shows a year, with decades of experience both in the circus and theme parks ([08:40]).
  • He acknowledges moments of doubt, particularly during the COVID pandemic when work disappeared, but always returns to clowning ([16:00]).

    "If you get cold hearted on making people laugh for a living and making children happy and old ladies and singing to people and buffooning, if you get cold hearted on that, then I think you'd be dead, wouldn't you? It fills my soul every time I come home." — Matthew D. Goldie ([16:00])

• Character and legacy:

  • Matthew draws inspiration from Conan’s style of physical comedy and audience engagement ([14:38], [15:02]).

    "I've been in the school of Conan for the last 30 years." — Matthew D. Goldie ([15:02])

  • He speaks to the durability of his clown persona: "My clown character is so strong now, after 35 years...I can't remember sometimes what my clown says or does" ([16:55]).

5. Comedy as Destiny and Identity

• Conan and Matthew riff on the notion that both talk show hosting and clowning are, at their core, about the art of inviting laughter ([14:19]).

• They contemplate the trope of “running away to join the circus” as both a literal and metaphorical escape for creative spirits ([17:47], [18:19]).

• Self-awareness about the importance and weirdness of their careers:

  "It's a great dodge. It's a great way to get through life, is to, to try and do this." — Conan O'Brien ([16:32])

• Identity responsibility:

  • Conan jokes,

    "A clown is not an alibi. Just so we can... You can't just say, I don't know. That was Goldie. It's not Matt's right. You can't do that. All right? You're responsible for yourself as Matthew and as Goldie." ([20:20])

6. Memorable Moments & Wit

• Running gags about clown crime (“A clown is not an alibi”), the family “running away from the circus”, and bits about circus stereotypes.
• Playful banter regarding bearded ladies, circus freaks, and the challenge of performing for kids, with the team affectionately roasting each other ([18:46]–[19:46]).
• Matthew expressing gratitude for Conan’s influence, and sharing a sweet example of how he bonds with his son through comedy ([20:49]).

---

Notable Quotes and Moments (with Timestamps)

• On clown inspiration:

  "This talk show host in America started to become my biggest inspiration for my clown...And in that interview, you said, basically, I'm a clown. Yeah. And I went, I knew it." — Matthew D. Goldie ([08:46])

• Conan on comedy’s essence:

  "I always wanted my show or whatever I was doing to be funny, even if the sound was off." — Conan O'Brien ([09:38])

• On the downsides of the job:

  "Do you ever have a day where you think, you know what? I'm feeling sore, I don't know if I got it anymore." — Conan O'Brien ([15:37])

• On bonding with his son:

  "My son and I have...we've yet to have a serious conversation. All we do is do bits and comedy and jokes...A lot of your ways of being have come into my son and my relationship." — Matthew D. Goldie ([20:49])

• On the importance of laughter:

  "There's a lot of things we could be doing in the world, hey. And making people happy is one of the good ones to do." — Matthew D. Goldie ([20:12])

---

Key Segment Timestamps

• [01:13] – Guest Introduction (Matthew D. Goldie, circus clown in Brisbane)
• [02:33] – Living in a circus truck; family context
• [03:47]–[04:16] – The family’s journey into circus life
• [05:07]–[06:13] – Goldie the Clown: character, look, philosophy
• [08:40] – Life cycle of a clown, 360+ performances/year
• [09:38]–[10:33] – Conan’s love for making children laugh; physical comedy and inspiration
• [14:01] – Highlights of performing for an audience of 800 children
• [16:00]–[16:55] – Career doubts, COVID-19 impacts, and passion for clowning
• [17:47]–[18:46] – Reflections on the dream of running away to join the circus
• [20:49] – Matthew’s appreciation for Conan’s impact on his family and comedic approach

---

Episode Tone and Takeaways

• The tone is gently self-mocking, affectionate, occasionally surreal, but always sincere in its embrace of comedy’s power to connect and heal.
• Both Conan and Matthew share the understanding that to be “a clown”—in any medium—is to be a craftsman of joy, to contend with fleeting doubts, and to create a sense of community for the audience and for one’s family.
• The episode captures the spirit of real friendship forged through laughter and a shared vocation.

---

Conclusion

A Clown Is Not An Alibi is a celebration of clowning as both calling and craft, highlighting the everyday happiness it brings to performers and audiences alike. Matthew D. Goldie’s story—equal parts unconventional and universal—resonates with Conan’s own journey, making for a charming, funny, and meaningful exchange.

---

For listeners who want a heartfelt look at circus life—and the comedians who keep our hearts light—this episode is a must.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

Hey, I'm Paul Scheer.

[June Diane Rayfield]

I'm June Diane Rayfield.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I'm Jason Mantzoukas.

[Paul Scheer]

And we're the hosts of how did this Get Made? A comedy podcast where we deconstruct, make fun of and celebrate the best worst movies ever made.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Have you ever seen a movie that's so bad that it's actually good? That's what we're talking about.

[Sonam]

From blockbuster franchises and made for TV.

[Paul Scheer]

Romances to bonkers 80s action flicks and obscure sci fi musicals, we cover it.

[Conan O'Brien]

All you can find.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How did this get made? Wherever you get your podcasts and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Idiot. Carvana is so easy.

[Paul Scheer]

Just a click and we've got ourselves a car.

[Career Coach Advertiser]

See so many cars.

[Sonam]

That's a clicktastic inventory.

[Conan O'Brien]

And check out the financing options payments.

[Carvana Advertiser]

To fit our budget.

[Sonam]

I mean, that's Clickonomics101.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Delivery to our door.

[Sonam]

Just a hop, skip and a click away.

[June Diane Rayfield]

And bought.

[Sonam]

No better feeling than when everything just clicks. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. Conan o' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

[Matt Gourley]

Hello, Matthew.

[Conan O'Brien]

Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Fan.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Hello, Matthew. Thanks for having me. It's nice to be had.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hi, Matthew, Conan here and very nice to meet you.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

G', day, Conan. Good to meet you too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, I'm guessing from your accent that you're from Cincinnati.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah, downtown Moscow.

[Conan O'Brien]

So exactly where are you right now? In Australia?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

We're in Brisbane at the moment.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, so lovely, lovely country. I love your people. I've always had a wonderful time there and I'm excited that you're here. Tell us a little bit about yourself, Matthew. What do I need to know about one Matthew D. Goldie?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yep. Well, what do you need to know about me? I am a circus clown. I guess we'll start there. That would be the best place to start.

[June Diane Rayfield]

Wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very cool. And are you? Where are you? I mean, you're a circus clown in Brisbane. Is that where your circus is?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

The circus is in Brisbane at the moment, but we travel all over the country. But at the moment we're in Brisbane.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, and are you in. It looks like you're in a little compartment right now, maybe even in a large steamer trunk. Are you in one of those circus wagons right now?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah, basically. That's right. So I used to have a big 30 foot caravan behind me and this was my truck that was basically Our laundry and a little spare bedroom. But my family have left. They ran away from the circus six months ago. So now I just live in my little truck. It's about a 2.5 by 2.5 meter space.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

And I've got everything I need in here. And, yeah, this is my little home on wheels.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I just want to make sure. You said your family left you. Did they leave you, Leave you? Or did they just. They'll see. You'll see them again soon. I mean, there's nothing acrimonious here. Because it sounded dramatic for a second.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you said, I've got everything I need. And I'm like, well, your family's gone, dude.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yes, that's true. I've got everything I need. Except my family. Yeah. No, that. My daughter wanted to run away from the circus and go to school. She wanted to.

[Conan O'Brien]

She's decided, oh, my God, I want to be a neurologist.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I know, you crazy kid.

[Conan O'Brien]

You'll wear a red nose and like it. Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

There's a million kids around the world, like, what are you talking about? But the other way around.

[Conan O'Brien]

So many questions for you, Matthew. First of all, how does one become a circus clown in the first place? How did this happen?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

My sister was a dancer and she got a job with the circus when I was a kid. And then one day I came home from school and there was a job opening for my parents, and I came home from school and my mum said, we're selling the house and we're running away to join the circus.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. That's what I wished happened when I was a kid, and it didn't.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So then I had to be a freak on my own.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

You worked it out just fine.

[Conan O'Brien]

You did work it out.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I've been watching.

[Matt Gourley]

What jobs did your parents do in the circus?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

My. My mum worked in the canteen. There's always jobs around the circus that aren't performing. And my dad would take tickets at the door and seat people and they would cook for the tent hands and jobs around the place. And my sister became a trapeze artist and. And I became a clown.

[Conan O'Brien]

So tell us a little bit about. First of all, did you know that clown was right for you? Did you think about, oh, I could be a strong man. I could be the bearded lady. Or did you. Did you know that? What drew you to being a clown?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I just found myself watching the clowns. I didn't even know I was doing that, but that's what I was watching and taking in and watching and Taking in. And when it got time to perform, that's what I started doing.

[Conan O'Brien]

And tell us a little bit about your clown character. You have to find who your clown is. What is your clown like?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's your clown's name?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

The clown's name is Goldie the clown, which is a ridiculous name for a clown. But because my last name is Matthew Degoldi. My mum. I said I want to be Buttons or patches or Mr. Stinky Pants. But she said. And. But it's worked, you know, It's a good name for a goldfish. It's a good name for a golden retriever.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

It's a stupid name for a clown. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't think so. I think it's much better than Mr. Stinky Pants. I think that would have. Signing that on a check would have followed you forever. It would have hurt your love life really terribly.

[Career Coach Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Try getting a table in a restaurant.

[June Diane Rayfield]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

The name Stinky Pants. Matthew Stinky Pants. So that's your name. Tell us a little bit about your Persona, your look. That's what we want to know about it.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

It's a happy August clown character. The style is called. It's. And I'm the classic clown. I haven't pushed away from. Which a lot of clowns have been doing in the last 30 years because of the. The scary clown movies and all that stuff that's happened and. But I've got the hoopy pants, the big shoes, the big red nose, the red wig, the classic. Sticking with that, you're a clown classic stuck.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love it.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I'm sticking with clown classic and I'm not gonna change it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I also think that it's good to get the message out that not all clowns kill. Most do, but not all do.

[Paul Scheer]

We don't know.

[Conan O'Brien]

We were only five minutes into this interview. Yeah. And you do look like you're hiding right now from.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I couldn't prove anything. I had an alibi every time.

[Conan O'Brien]

So this is good. You've got. Do you do all the makeup and stuff?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah, Face paint. So that's what I prefer to call. Thank you. Yeah. Ladies wear makeup, clowns wear face paint. That's how I just clothed my mother.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, what about LA lady clowns?

[Career Coach Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And by the way, I wear makeup. Not now, but I wear it all the time and I love it.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Sorry, I didn't mean to. Domestic.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. You just. You just clown shamed me. So. So this is good. This is good. I like this. You're so. You've been working as a Clown for many years. And then you, you find your. Your wife, you have some kids and you get them into the act too. Is that right?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah, my son's a clown with me and, and my wife was the ringmaster with the circus. And my daughter performed for a little while, but then she didn't want to do that. That's not her. She's like the Marilyn in our Monsters. She wants to be just normal.

[Conan O'Brien]

And by the way, I love that reference. Yeah, I love that reference. You just alienated all of our younger listeners. But yes, yes, you're the normal one. Three generations of your family have worked at this circus, is that right?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

No, no, we were the first generation.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I mean in the family.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Your.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your parents, you and your children.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Right.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Well, that's true. That's right. You are. I hadn't even thought about it. That's right. So he's.

[Conan O'Brien]

You haven't thought about it. He just said. Matt just said exactly what you are. He's like, you're so you're sort of like a clown in Brisbane, Australia. And you went, no, no, no. And you put on the plane.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

So I don't think much.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Babies.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is.

[Sonam]

Yeah, Circus Nepal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, you're just a clown. Cause your dad was a clown. You're not talented. Yeah. So what is the life cycle of a clown in a year? Are you working? Is there a season to clowning? I mean, I clown 24 7, 365. Cool. But I don't know what you're. You're like the old school, hardcore, you know, real thing. What's it like? Is there a downtime for clowns?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yes. After the show and before, like I. We do 360 or so shows a year.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I've been doing it now for 35, nearly 35 years. I was in the theme park for many years. So I developed my character there. Like street performing, improvising, joking around with people. And that's where you started to shine to me. Because I was out of the circus, I didn't have any clowns that I was watching. And I started watching this TV show at night and this. And there was another man there that had this five day a week comedy gig. And I had a five day a week comedy gig. And I started getting. Because there's so many inspirations in comedy, there's so many different ways to do it, but this talk show host in America started to become my biggest inspiration for my clown. And I didn't understand why until you went on James Lipton and you did that interview. With him. And in that interview, you said, basically, I'm a clown. Yeah. And I went, I knew it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I knew, you know, it's funny because that was something I realized a long time ago. I always wanted my show or whatever I was doing to be funny, even if the sound was off. And so because of my background, people thought, well, it'll be, you know, he'll be like verbally dexterous and it'll be about his intellect. And I thought, what are you talking about? I love to make kids laugh. To me, that's the best test, if someone's funny is can you make a kid laugh? And if two or three year olds are around, I work really hard to get them laughing. And if they don't laugh, I'm shattered. Absolutely shattered. And you've seen that Sona, right?

[Sonam]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm like, I had Mikey, but I didn't get Charlie. What happened? And then I'm drinking and you're like, conan, take it easy. And I'm taking it easy. Taking pills. Oh, my God, yeah. Descent into madness.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Another feeling.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sonam]

He probably just had gas too.

[Carvana Advertiser]

It wasn't.

[Sonam]

It had nothing to do with it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I took it personally.

[June Diane Rayfield]

Hey there, guys. It's Andy Richter here and I have a message for you from CarMax. Everyone has their own ideal way to car shop. It's a very particular kind of shopping and people have a particular way of doing it. You might enjoy shopping online in your pajamas with no human contact. Or maybe you want to show up in person, get that free coffee, those snacks. Either way, CarMax lets you do it your way. CarMax gets it however you want to do it. They make it simple. You can shop online, shop in store, or get both. Do it how? You mix it up. Do it however you want, get pre qualified from home with no impact to your credit score, and shop by monthly payments that actually work for you. They've got over 25,000 cars under $25,000, so there's something for every budget. Visit CarMax.com to learn more and find a car within your budget today. Want to drive CarMax? See CarMax.com for details.

[Paul Scheer]

This is Rich Gannon from Sirius XM NFL Radio reminding you that Sirius XM is the place to hear every NFL playoff game from the wild card round all the way through the Super Bowl. Plus you get to decide how you want to listen to the game. We'll have the hometown announcers for each game and the national broadcasters on your radio and on the Sirius XM app. And if it's football talk that you want. Just search for NFL Radio on the app or tune to Sirius XM channel 88 in your car.

[Career Coach Advertiser]

What if you could monitor the health of your career? For most people, it starts out strong. A new, exciting job where it feels like anything is possible. But somewhere along the line, things change. That promotion you expected never happened. You haven't had a raise in ages, and you're starting to feel irrelevant. These are early warning signs that your career is about to flatline. You need to get yourself immediately to Strawberry Me, where a certified career coach will help bring it back to life. Your coach will push you, challenge you, and help you put together a plan to get ahead, either at your current job or by helping you land a new, more rewarding one. Every Strawberry coach is certified in career resuscitation. Go to Strawberry Me Coaching and get 50% off your first coaching session. That's Strawberry Me Coaching. Now is the most affordable time ever to find out if career coaching is right for you.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Confronting high credit card debt can feel scary. But the good news is if you owe $10,000 or more in credit card debt, financial relief options are now available. National Debt Relief is currently offering debt relief designed to reduce what you owe, fast tracking your way to being debt free. If you qualify for debt relief, you may be able to pay back significantly less than what you owe and save thousands of dollars. Imagine only paying one low monthly program payment you can afford and saving money as you become debt free. National Debt Relief has already helped bring debt relief to over 550,000 US consumers, earning thousands of five star reviews and an A rating with the Better Business Bureau. You're stronger than your credit card debt. Take the first step and visit nationaldebtrelief.com to see what debt relief you qualify for. That's nationaldebtrelief.com.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

We had 800 school kids in the show yesterday, like on vacation care. So the tent was full of just pretty much 800 kids and their minders. And the noise was outrageous. They were laughing and screaming and hooing. It was beautiful.

[Conan O'Brien]

Best drug in the world.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

It fills my heart. Yeah. Yeah, it really is.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's it. I, I it's so funny what you're talking about because we're all doing basically the same thing. I mean, I and there are different, you know, you can say, oh no, I'm doing something very different. No, I think we're both essentially doing the same thing. Exactly.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I've learned so much from, from you, just from the and as you say, the physical comedy so whenever I'm getting a bit tired with my comedy, I think about what you do because you have this way of hitting the mark very strongly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, thank you.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I think, no, how would Conan do this? And then I start hitting my marks a bit stronger physically.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, that's very, very nice. That's very nice of you.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

I've been writing down things, I've been studying you. I've been in the school of Conan for the last 30 years.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's why right now you're trapped in a very small space, crowded out by what looks like laundry. This is what happens. You're hiding from the law right now, surrounded by unwashed clothing. No, but that, that.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Thank you so much. All washed. That's my clown clothes.

[June Diane Rayfield]

Oh, there you go.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Thank you. I made them myself. They're my clan. Under.

[Conan O'Brien]

Looks like the wardrobe from Golden Girls, doesn't it?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mrs. Roper, so what is this? And this is what you're doing now for life. Do you ever have a day where you think, you know what? I'm feeling sore, I don't know if I got it anymore. We all have those moments. And do you ever think, ah, maybe I'll hang up the old red nose and I'll do X, Y or Z? Or does that never, never come into your mind?

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah, it has. And, and in, in Covid, of course, all, all the work went away and so I thought, oh, maybe I'll. And I did. I drove a truck for a little while and, and I did a few different things. But no, this is so. You know, if you get cold hearted on making people laugh for a living and making children happy and old ladies and singing to people and buffooning, if you get cold hearted on that, then I think you'd be dead, wouldn't you? It fills my soul every time I come home.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, listen. Amen. I agree with you 100%. It's a great dodge. It's a great way to get through life, is to, to try and do this. And there are just moments, you know, I'm sure you have them. I have them where we think, oh my God, I can't keep doing this. I, I need to go and do something kind of quiet and respectable that always lasts.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Like you said on that interview. Yeah, yeah, on that interview too, you said, when something's your job, it's your job. And that's true. There's days when you're like, oh, I've got to do this. But, but then you start Doing it. And it's so joyous. And because my clown character is so Strong now, after 35 years, it. It kind of take. You're suddenly doing and saying things. I can't remember sometimes what my clown says or does. I don't know what. I can't do the voice out of the clown.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now you're excusing crimes you've committed.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute. I mean, it's my clown. I don't know what he did. Why is there this blood on my hand? A clown is not an alibi. Just so we can. I don't know where I was.

[Sonam]

Are you trying to do an Australian speech?

[Conan O'Brien]

They're these giant red footprints leading back to your.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Sounded perfect. Very good. Australian accent. Very good. Very hard to do.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm a fine actor. I just go in and out of characters. But no, that's. That's really nice. It's. You know, it's funny because for. For so long, that was every kid's dream. Not every kid, but I want to run away to the circus. Is. And. And I think it still exists. It's just not always literally the circus. You happen to literally do the circus. But I had the same feeling when I got into this stupidness was I'm just running away to do this. Do something that. That, that. That sort of speaks to me. You know, it.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

But it called you. It didn't kind of call me. I got kind of thrust into it. I joined the circus and then I ended up life kind of.

[Conan O'Brien]

You were forced about for me.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your parents said, we're going to the circus and we're gonna join. And then you had to decide, am I bending an iron bar? Am I putting on a dress and growing a beard? Yeah, you know, I don't know. I don't. Is the bearded ladies in this modern era? It may be. I don't know.

[Sonam]

I don't know if they do they still. I don't think they still do.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because now. Well, if we don't use the term.

[Sonam]

No, I'm sorry. That's weird.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Partially.

[Paul Scheer]

Why.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't want to misgender the bearded. You know what I mean?

[Sonam]

That used to bearded lady.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't.

[Sonam]

He can't be the bearded lady because he's a man.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, first of all, I cannot say what someone's gender is.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Oh, right, right.

[Conan O'Brien]

They need to tell me. And I don't know what. First of all, you're saying freaks. And now you're saying you can't be a bearded lady.

[June Diane Rayfield]

You're a man.

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you in 1850?

[June Diane Rayfield]

Sona.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's your problem? The real Sona is ar.

[June Diane Rayfield]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

What happened to all the freaks?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, how'd you like storming the capital?

[Carvana Advertiser]

Was that fun?

[Conan O'Brien]

Sona was there, but she was there for snacks.

[Sonam]

I had to be there. Yeah, the election was rigged.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you heard there were snacks inside and it was Armenian Christma.

[Sonam]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. How else do you celebrate, hey.

[Conan O'Brien]

When they certify, Isn't there catering? I flew all this way.

[Sonam]

Where's the Congressional Cafeteria?

[Conan O'Brien]

I want those certification waffles. Let's go, gang.

[Sonam]

I was there for the food.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, Matthew, you're a. I like you. You've got a stout heart, and you're a delightful person. You really are. And you're doing. I do think you're doing God's work out there. You're making people laugh.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Yes. Thank you. There's a lot of things we could be doing in the world. Hey. And making people happy is. Is one of the good ones to do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay?

[June Diane Rayfield]

Just.

[Conan O'Brien]

I would ask you when it is time for you to kill and kill again, you know, just don't blame the clown, okay? It's not an alibi. You know what I mean? You can't just say, I don't know. That was Goldie. It's not Matt's right. You can't do that. All right? You're responsible for yourself as Matthew and as Goldie. Well, it was a delight talking to you, Matthew. Really a pleasure. And who knows, I wanted to just.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Say, before we go, just thank you for not only for the inspiration you've given me as the clown, but just your general way of being playful and the way you come up with comedy has affected my son and I. My daughter's very smart and comes up with all these questions, and she talks politics and she. But my son and I have. He's 13, and we've yet to have a serious conversation. I. All we do is do bits and comedy and jokes and. And I think a lot of your ways of being have. Have come into my son and my relationship.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I have to be honest with you, it's amazing. I don't know my son's first name, always the minute he enters the room. Every day I'm doing bits and God help him, but it's a wonderful way to connect. So. Well, I hope we meet someday. That'd be really nice, you know? And until then, have a great show.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Thank you. I will. We're just starting our year. There's 300 shows ahead.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh my God. All right, well, I hope to be in the audience one day. Take care.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Wonderful to talk to you guys. Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

We'll see you later.

[Paul Scheer]

Bye.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bye, Matthew.

[Matthew D. Goldie]

Bye.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien Needs a Fan with Conan o' Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy Supervising Producer Aaron Blair Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign [e-mail] Conan please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Fan wherever. Fine Podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

This is Rich Cannon from Sirius XM NFL Radio reminding you that Sirius XM is the place to hear every NFL playoff game from the wild card round all the way through the Super Bowl. Plus you get to decide how you want to listen to the game. We'll have the hometown announcers for each game and the national broadcasters on your radio and on the SiriusXM app. And if it's football talk that you want, just search for NFL Radio on the app or tune to Sirius XM channel 88 in your car.

[Sonam]

Why have we asked our contractor we found on Angie.com to be our kids legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids.

[Paul Scheer]

We only met a month ago. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].