Charles and the Chocolate Factory

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend
Episode: Charles and the Chocolate Factory
Release Date: November 21, 2024

---

Introduction

In the "Charles and the Chocolate Factory" episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, Conan engages in a lively and humorous conversation with Charles, a mechanical engineer from the Philippines who works at his uncle's traditional candy factory. Joined by regular co-hosts Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley, the episode delves into the challenges faced by the family-run business and Conan's unconventional strategies to rejuvenate it.

Charles’s Background and the Candy Factory

Charles introduces himself as a mechanical engineer working for his uncle's candy factory based in Quezon City, Greater Manila. The factory, which has a history dating back to World War II, specializes in producing bubble gums and caramel candies.

[02:36] Conan O'Brien: "So, Charles, you work at a candy factory that your uncle owns in the Philippines?"

Challenges Facing the Factory

Despite its long-standing presence, the candy factory has been struggling to maintain its market presence. Charles explains that the company has reduced its workforce from a hundred to just nineteen employees due to automation and decreased daily production. The main issue lies in inadequate exposure and outdated marketing strategies, leading to a decline in both sales and brand recognition among younger generations.

[06:27] Charles: "Since I started here, like five years ago, it hasn't really gone off, like, really, really good."

[12:30] Charles: "I think the late 50s, 60s."

Conan’s Proposals to Revitalize the Business

Conan takes it upon himself to brainstorm creative (and often outlandish) solutions to help revive the struggling candy business. His ideas range from rebranding the existing products with modern, youth-oriented themes to leveraging celebrity endorsements.

1. Product Reimagining:
   Conan suggests blending bubble gum with caramel to create a unique product that appeals to broader tastes.

   [05:00] Conan O'Brien: "I think there's a way to combine caramel and bubble gum. This is my life's dream."

2. Marketing and Branding:
   He proposes updating the candy names to resonate with younger audiences, humorously suggesting names inspired by pop culture icons like Taylor Swift.

   [19:53] Conan O'Brien: "It's Taylor Swift bubblegum. We have to use a name that young people, is Taylor Swift big in the Philippines?"

3. Celebrity Endorsements:
   Conan even considers endorsing the candy himself to attract attention, though both Sona and Matt express skepticism about his influence in the Philippines.

   [22:40] Charles: "To be honest, maybe not so much. You haven't been on air here in the Philippines like since the early 2000s."

Interaction and Humor Among Hosts

Throughout the episode, Sona and Matt interject with witty remarks and playful skepticism, balancing Conan's enthusiasm with grounded perspectives.

[13:04] Matt Gourley: "Maybe why don't you buy some bubblegum, then caramel, and just try it out."

[19:43] Conan O'Brien: "And I think even if it's illegal, we have to say, like, it's Taylor Swift bubblegum."

The Plan to Transform the Factory

As the conversation progresses, Conan and Charles outline a mock plan to overhaul the candy company, which includes:

• Renaming Products: Introducing modern names inspired by current pop culture.
• Leveraging Social Media: Utilizing platforms like Facebook for marketing campaigns.
• Potential Legal Challenges: Acknowledging the need for legal counsel when altering product names tied to trademarks.

[26:04] Conan O'Brien: "Have you thought at all about a possible slogan?"

Despite the humorous and sometimes absurd nature of the proposals, the underlying concern reflects real challenges that traditional businesses face in adapting to contemporary markets.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a playful yet earnest exchange about the feasibility of Conan's ideas, leaving listeners entertained while subtly highlighting the struggles of maintaining a legacy business in a modern economy. Charles expresses hope that these conversations might spark actual changes, and Conan reassures his support, albeit in his characteristic comedic style.

[28:16] Conan O'Brien: "I really would. And I do think you need to do something to get the youth involved in your candy."

[31:13] Charles: "I hope so. Yeah."

Key Takeaways

• Adaptation is Crucial: The episode underscores the necessity for traditional businesses to evolve their marketing and product strategies to stay relevant.
• Humor as a Bridge: Conan’s humorous approach serves as an engaging way to discuss serious business challenges.
• Cross-Cultural Insights: The conversation offers a glimpse into the Filipino market and the impact of globalization on local businesses.

Notable Quotes

• Conan on Holiday Stress:

  "During the holiday season. It feels like you're packing a lot into every second. Everything gets compressed. Pressure, lots."
  [00:58]

• Charles on Factory Decline:

  "This is way when the automation automated machines came into the like so before they used to pack the candies manually."
  [08:22]

• Conan on Branding:

  "Naming the candidates?"
  [21:30]

---

This episode is a blend of humor and insightful discussion, making it both entertaining and informative for listeners interested in business challenges, marketing strategies, and cross-cultural interactions.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

When you give a gift from L.L. bean, you're giving favorites in the making designed with thoughtfulness and care for years of joyful connection. That's really something because when I usually give a gift, it provides, I'm going to say 15 minutes of joyful appreciation. If that. I don't give great gifts, but L.L. bean years of joyful connection. Like the Cozy Sherpa Wearable Throw made from cozy Sherpa fleece with a hood and two hand pockets.

[Sona Movsesian]

What?

[Conan O'Brien]

I love two hand pockets.

[Sona Movsesian]

I do, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Over 1,800 five star reviews and counting. That's a lot of five star reviews. A favorite gift for home, camp or backyard. It's the perfect gift for anyone from teenagers. Listen to that. Rock and roll. Yeah. To grandparents. Oh, it hurts. To book club friends. I read that. Shop the Cozy Sherpa Wearable throw and more holiday [e-mail] gifts man, holidays coming up gets pretty intense, doesn't it?

[Sona Movsesian]

It does.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very intense. During the holiday season. It feels like you're packing a lot into every second. Everything gets compressed. Pressure, lots.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's stressful.

[Conan O'Brien]

So much to do. That's why ADT spends all their seconds helping protect all of yours while you're out. The ADT plus app gives you complete control over who has access to your home. With the Google Nest Doorbell from adt, you can know for sure if that's Santa or Aunt Mildred at the front door. See, I'd be suspicious because I don't have an Aunt Mildred. It's Aunt Mildred. Thief. ADT has the largest number of companies owned 24, seven monitoring centers in the industry. When every second Counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today or call 1-800-ADTASAP Google and Google Nest Doorbell are trademarks of Google LLC.

[Sona Movsesian]

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com callcon okay, let's get started.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hi, Charles.

[Matt Gourley]

Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

[Charles]

Hi.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hi, Charles. How are you?

[Charles]

Hi, Conan. Good. It's actually early in the morning over here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Well, that's how the world works. I am in Los Angeles and you are in the Philippines. Where in the Philippines are you?

[Charles]

So I live in the capital, in the greater Manila, but the city itself is Quezon City.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I'm not sure why I asked because it doesn't really mean much to me. I haven't been to the Philippines, so. But I want to know more.

[Charles]

Visit here.

[Conan O'Brien]

You think I should visit the Philippines?

[Charles]

Yeah, it's quite nice over here. The people are friendly Good food.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've heard wonderful things about the Philippines. I'd like to know more about you, Charles. Tell me a little bit about your life.

[Charles]

So, I'm an engineer. Oh, sorry. I'm not sure if you're hearing my dog in the background.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh. When you said, I'm an engineer. Oops, sorry. I thought a member of the secret police was behind you and that you're in hiding. You're whispering, your dog's behind you and doesn't approve of your work as an engineer. Is that the idea?

[Charles]

Probably.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you're an engine. You're an engineer. What kind of engineering do you do?

[Charles]

So, I'm a mechanical engineer. I'm currently working for my uncle's factory. He's making, like, candies right here in the Philippines.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, your uncle. You work for your uncle, and he has a candy factory? He's like Willy Wonka kind of.

[Charles]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Are there rivers of chocolate and, you know, all kinds of, you know, waterfalls of gumdrops and things like that?

[Charles]

Sadly, no. There's just, like, generic factory stuff.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, are there Oompa Loompas?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Charles]

Not really.

[Matt Gourley]

Why are you hesitating on that? What kind of an Oompa Loompa do you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. You said no immediately to rivers of chocolate and waterfalls of gumdrops, but then on Oompa Loompa, you're like, do you.

[Matt Gourley]

Have an Oompa Loompa factory?

[Conan O'Brien]

Is that what this is? Yeah, I think that wasn't. I think that wasn't a cat behind him. It was an Oompa Loompa. Okay, I'm going to try and I'm going to try and keep this, you know, clean and simple.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, you're doing a great job.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, thanks. Well, got a little bit of a lag, and, you know, we got to make sure that everything end up together. Oh. So, Charles, let me get this straight. You work at a candy factory that your uncle owns in the Philippines?

[Charles]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. And what kind of candies do you make?

[Charles]

Well, we have two types of candies. We have bubble gums and then caramel candies.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ooh. Wow.

[Charles]

That's nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love caramel candies. I like both of those. I love bubble gum and caramel candies. Have you ever tried to mix the two together and make a bubble gum that has a caramel center?

[Charles]

No, but I think my uncle did before, and he said, did it taste really good? Because the bubble gums, like, tasted more like menthol. Menthol Y. And then the caramel tastes very sweet, and caramelly and those two don't mix really well together.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, wait, I'm sorry. I think your uncle screwed it up. I think I have a good idea here. He just went the wrong way with it, that's all. And I hate to pick a fight with your uncle, but I think there's a way to combine caramel and bubble gum. I mean, this is my life's dream. I think there's a way to do it correctly and I'd. I'll let. I talk to you more about.

[Charles]

I haven't seen any type of bubble gum that has caramel like flavorings in it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, guess what? In 1850, no one had seen an automobile before. But then someone invented it and the world changed. But I don't know why I'm so.

[Sona Movsesian]

Quiet after you said that.

[Matt Gourley]

Maybe why don't you buy some bubblegum, then caramel, and just try it out. Eat them together before investing in a machine.

[Conan O'Brien]

So, Charles, tell me, how is the candy factory doing? Is it thriving?

[Charles]

Not really. Since I started here, like five years ago, it hasn't really gone off, like, really, really good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, what do you think? Yes, first of all, what do you think the problem is?

[Charles]

Well, I think it lack. It's because of the lack of exposure of the. With the public. So every time we approach, like, distributors or customers regarding our, like our products, our candies, their initial reaction is like they're gonna say it's no, it's still alive. It's like they're gonna say it's. I thought that your products are already gone.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like, oh, so people, your candy factory has been around for a long time. You don't have good. Actually you don't have good advertising. And people think, oh, we thought those candies were discontinued. Is that the problem?

[Charles]

Yeah. So actually our candy started way back, like during World War II. It actually started with my uncle's father, and then it, it went on after that.

[Matt Gourley]

But then, isn't your uncle's father also your grandfather?

[Conan O'Brien]

I do.

[Charles]

I call him my grandfather. I think so.

[Matt Gourley]

Am I wrong?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. I. I think so.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

Your uncle's father is your grandfather.

[Sona Movsesian]

Uncle by marriage?

[Charles]

Maybe?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Charles]

Is it?

[Conan O'Brien]

If it's.

[Charles]

Oh, they call him my grandfather.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's his aunt's husband.

[Matt Gourley]

I see. Yeah. Yeah, it's your grandfather in law.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, that was good that we cleared that up, Charles.

[Charles]

It's a bit confusing for me also.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, and me is me now as well. Charles here to help. Charles, we have a simple story here. You are a man who is Working for your uncle's candy factory. Your uncle's candy factory has been around for a long time, but it has become unpopular. How many employees work at this candy factory?

[Charles]

Currently we have like 19 of us.

[Conan O'Brien]

How many did there used to be?

[Charles]

A hundred.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh. Oh yeah. Okay.

[Charles]

This is way when the automations automated machines came into the like so before they used to pack the candies manually. So they needed like many people to pack them individually, wrap them around and put them in boxes. But now we have machines to do that. So we don't really need a lot of people to produce the candies. But then we also don't manufacture them every day.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't make candy every day?

[Charles]

Yeah. So it's only when we have orders or our stocks are decreased, declining that we manufacture more.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can you list me the name of some of your candies just so I get an idea of what these candies are called?

[Charles]

So we have two types of bubblegum candies. So one is called Tarzan, called Texas.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tarzan and Texas. Do these bubble gums have anything to do with Tarzan or Texas?

[Charles]

No. I'm not actually clear on how they came up with the. With those names, but I think the.

[Conan O'Brien]

Names don't in any way link to how the gum tastes. I don't know what Texas tastes like. Barbecue maybe, but I don't think so. I think it's random. I think you. I think someone back when this company was just starting said let's call this one Tarzan and this one Texas. Right?

[Charles]

Kind of. Yeah. So I think I. My uncle told me was his father came up with that name because he was I think more heavily influenced during the US when the US was were occupying the Philippines and he was working with an American company here in Manila.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. So your grandfather came up with these names at the end of World War II. So yeah, you're down with Hitler Gum.

[Sona Movsesian]

Jesus.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn'T a big seller. I'm just saying these are, these are antiquated names.

[Charles]

Catchy names.

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Sona Movsesian]

Down with Hitler. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

We have a photo of the Tarzan gum if you want to see. Let's take a look. Yeah, let's take a look at the Tarzan gum.

[Charles]

Oh, you do?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, oh. But it. What does that have to do. And the colors are Christmassy.

[Charles]

Yeah. So yeah, it's just attract the like it's to attract children so they'd like be excited for it with the different colors, but they all taste the same.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh wait. They're different colors but they all taste the same and it's called Tarzan and the catch. The catchphrase is put an ape man in your mouth. Yeah, okay. I don't know, I just think that it's confusing. Do you understand?

[Charles]

I think it's very confusing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's confusing. And is this because. Does your uncle want to change things up and maybe make things better, make the marketing a little better?

[Charles]

It hasn't really come up. Like I've pitched him the idea of like having a commercial or just having more exposure to the public, but we haven't gone like past that. So it's more, it's. There's no actual plans for it. You're just talking about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is he stuck in his ways, do you think? Sometimes that happens with older people. They get stuck in their ways and then some young punk like you comes along and says, hey, maybe we should change things a little bit. And he's like, is that what's happening? I don't know.

[Charles]

I guess so. I mean, I mean, I think he wants to keep the, like the legacy of the products going. I mean, people know when people hear about the Tarzan or Texas candies, they immediately know what it, what it is. But the problem is only the older generations know about it and the younger generations, not, not so much.

[Conan O'Brien]

So how old are your, most of your customers?

[Charles]

Well, I think the late 50s, 60s.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's a, that's a problem. That's a problem.

[Charles]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because not a lot of bubble gum.

[Matt Gourley]

Chewing 60 year olds.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, because the first thing that goes are the teeth. And you can't really, you know, just chomp on that stuff without teeth. Wow.

[Sona Movsesian]

They're not like 90, you're 60.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, my teeth are gone. These are implants. They're all bubble gum. Yeah. Those teeth.

[Matt Gourley]

Maybe it's time to do like a throwback campaign. You know, nostalgia and stuff.

[Charles]

Yeah, I was actually, I was thinking about those types of campaigns, but only I've tried only like trying those in through Facebook posts. No videos though, just like pictures and stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to disagree with my friend Matt here and this is very rare because I respect his opinion, but. Oh, wait a minute. Which Matt?

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, it's me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jesus. It's a great, it's a classic bit, Charles. This is what I think. I think you need to make a immediate hard play for the youth. I think you have to. I think you have to do something that's going to get younger people interested in the candies. And by the way, I love the way you say candies, don't you?

[Charles]

Yeah, I do.

[Sona Movsesian]

I like it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I think the more you say candies Just keep saying candies. It's great.

[Charles]

Candies. Candies.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, it's just fantastic.

[Sona Movsesian]

He says it normally, but it's sweet.

[Conan O'Brien]

He has a sweetness to it.

[Sona Movsesian]

You should be in a commercial.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

You're the pitch man.

[Conan O'Brien]

You should be in a commercial and say, buy our candies. They're so. It's the way you say it is very sweet. Flying is more fun with Virgin Atlanta because you get everything you need to feel like a vip, no matter which cabin you're in, that's important.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I like to feel like a VIP when I travel.

[Sona Movsesian]

Sometimes when I'm flying in economy class on another airline, I feel like garbage.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. And people actually throw garbage at you sometimes. But everyone feels like a winner. On Virgin Atlantic, bask in purple and pink mood lighting, sink into comfy seats, enjoy delicious food and drink, serve throughout the flight, including afternoon tea on day flights. So sophisticated. And experience next level onboard entertainment with hours of curated movies, TV and music. Man, they know how to do it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Plus Virgin Atlantic's famously friendly crew provides warm, welcoming service. You know what I can tell they are when you're on a Virgin flight, they're so nice.

[Sona Movsesian]

They are really nice. I do like the lights that are in the cabin.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't it nice?

[Sona Movsesian]

It's cool. It makes me feel like I'm in a club.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And maybe you are in a club.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, no, it's an. It's an airplane.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're right, it's an airplane. Yeah, airplane. Anyway, premium flyers can skip the lines with priority check in and boarding, relax in an extra wide seat, enjoy delicious dining with proper plates and cutlery, and sip some welcome bubbles. I hope they mean champagne and not just soapy water. And with Virgin Atlantic, upper class take VIP treatment to the next level with a private wing to check in your own security channel at London Heathrow, a dedicated bar and social space on board, and your own private suite to stretch out in, complete with a lie flat bed. Hello. Sounds good to you, huh?

[Sona Movsesian]

Sona does.

[Conan O'Brien]

Remember, no matter where you're seated with Virgin Atlantic, it's all about you. And that's not true of the other airlines are like, get on the plane now, get off the plane. Yeah, yeah. And on Virgin there you're treated real well. So if you're thinking about flying to the UK anytime soon and want to do it in style, check out Virgin Atlantic. Sona, when you take a big trip with the family, and I know that you love to travel and your kids are getting old enough now where they like to travel too.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, that's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who looks after the house?

[Sona Movsesian]

That's the thing. Nobody. And so I've actually been toying with the idea of maybe, you know, putting my house up on Airbnb, making some extra cash, having someone there.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's like you're hosting people.

[Sona Movsesian]

Exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's like you're getting paid to travel. You can use the money that you get from putting your house up on Airbnb to help finance your trip.

[Sona Movsesian]

Exactly. And you know what? There's people there that are looking after my relics.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have a lot of people don't know this, but Sona has a lot of ancient Greek relics, Etruscan relics.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have a lot of sculpture from the Assyrian empire. Sona has billions and billions of dollars worth of ancient, ancient artifacts that have never even been looked at by archaeologists.

[Sona Movsesian]

They should all be in a museum.

[Conan O'Brien]

They really should be. Yeah. But it's nice when you're away. Your home could be an Airbnb, and that's something to keep in mind. Your home, AKA your future. Airbnb might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host this message is brought to you by BetterHelp. Just going to take a second. Give a shout out to the some of the people I'm going to say two people in my life who helped me out a lot because they listen to me. My wife, Liza. Amazing. And you, Sona. You listen to me when I'm low.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You make fun of me a little bit, but then when you see that I'm really low, you talk to me because you've known me a long time.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, this month is all about gratitude. And along with thanking the people say I've mentioned, it can be someone, a friend, it can be family. In my case, it's both. There's another person we don't get to thank enough, and that's ourselves. Okay. It's something hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything in this crazy world. It's not easy. Be nice to yourself. If you're thinking of starting therapy, I think you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and then you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. That's huge. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comconan today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H E L P.comconan as a B2B marketer, you know how noisy the ad space can be, don't you, Sona?

[Sona Movsesian]

So many ads, they're all over the place.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. If your message isn't targeted to the right audience, it just disappears into all that noise. Yeah, it's like dropping a coin down a fountain. You never hear that splash.

[Sona Movsesian]

Down a fountain or a well.

[Conan O'Brien]

Shut up. With LinkedIn ads, you can precisely reach the professionals who are more likely to find your ad relevant. I wish someone would find me relevant. With LinkedIn's targeting capabilities, you can reach them by job title, industry, company and more. You'll have direct access to and building relationships with decision makers. A billion members, that's a lot. 130 million senior level executives. 10 million C level executives stand out with LinkedIn ads and start converting your B2B business into high quality leads today. They'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com TeamCoco to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com TeamCoco terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn the place to be. To be. Tell me if I'm wrong. I think we have to make a hard play for the youth.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I think even if it's illegal, we have to say, like, it's Taylor Swift bubblegum. We have to use a name that young people, is Taylor Swift big in the Philippines?

[Charles]

She's big in the Philippines.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. She's big everywhere.

[Charles]

A lot of people actually wanted to see her, like, perform a show here in the Philippines.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Charles]

But she didn't. So everyone, like, flew to Japan or Singapore just to see her.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, I would have told Taylor, you know, to go to the Philippines, to go to Manila and play a big show.

[Sona Movsesian]

You would have told her?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

When would you have done that?

[Charles]

How?

[Conan O'Brien]

And when she listens to me, we're tight. By tight, I mean I've listened to her music and I enjoy her work. Charles, I do think you need to. And we may be getting in trouble with the law here. Yeah, but it's worth it, don't you think, to maybe say it's Taylor Swift bubble gum, you know, and then we name some of the gum after and the candies after some of her songs.

[Sona Movsesian]

Like this is the bad bad blood or this is the all too well gum.

[Conan O'Brien]

People love a candy called bad blood. No, but I think it's comfortable with Taylor's. No, I think we need to do something drastic. We need to make a campaign that Appeals to the youth of the Philippines. And we put your candy back on the map. And I think we have to do it. Don't you think?

[Charles]

Yeah, I think that's. That's a great plan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Now, do you have a lawyer?

[Charles]

Yeah, I think we're contracting a law firm, but. Good. We haven't used them like for like legal stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, when you do my.

[Sona Movsesian]

What do you use them for? What do you use them for?

[Matt Gourley]

Naming the candidates?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's a bunch of 90 year old lawyers. Wait, call it after Tarzan. Kids love Tarzan.

[Matt Gourley]

Are these the Oompa Loompas? Is that what's happening here?

[Conan O'Brien]

Charles? Oh, my God, Charles. Yeah. You're going to need lawyers because some of the stuff I'm suggesting may. May incur some lawsuits. Again, I'm indemnified. I'm just a guy giving you suggestions. But I do think you need to do something to get the youth involved in your candy. Okay.

[Charles]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now let me ask you.

[Charles]

My uncle won't be on board with that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, let me ask you. Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Maybe it's time to, you know, take him out.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

What?

[Matt Gourley]

Just a little, you know, a little Shakespearean kind of.

[Conan O'Brien]

One bad blood candy and he's out. Hey, Charles. Charles, it just occurred to me. What you need is a celebrity endorsement by somebody who's big with the youth. Here. I am. And I have, you know, why am I. But seriously, what if. I mean, I would be happy to endorse the candy. Am I a big hit with the youth in the Philippines?

[Charles]

To be honest, maybe not so much. You haven't been on air here in the Philippines like since the early 2000s. We lost Charles.

[Matt Gourley]

We keep telling him he's currently on the air.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't do that. Wait, hold on a second. And Charles, it's called the Internet. I'm all over the Internet. I'm. There's like pornography and then there's me. I'm all over the Internet. So don't tell me.

[Charles]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't you guys get the Internet?

[Charles]

We do. So if they search your name on YouTube, they'll see you. But then, well, before you, we watched your show in television. Like you were being shown in one of the local channels here in the Philippines. Yes, but then after that, you, like, you disappeared.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. So I'm no longer on TV in the Philippines.

[Charles]

Well, I saw your show again when you. When you went back in hbo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Charles]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

We call it Max.

[Charles]

Max?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

You're getting on him about branding names.

[Conan O'Brien]

This rules off the tongue. Max, so.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

So, Charles, you're saying that maybe the youth in the Philippines. Maybe I'm not the one. Who do you think's a bigger star in the Philippines? And be honest and think about it. Don't just blurt it out. Really think about it. Me? Or say Taylor Swift.

[Charles]

Well, Taylor Swift's a big name. Everyone knows Taylor Swift.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you want to think about it some more? Do you want to get back to me?

[Charles]

I want to say Kona, but you might get disappointed if you come here and then no one recognizes you.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm sorry, no one recognizes you. Not even people who watched you in the 2000s.

[Matt Gourley]

Not even Charles.

[Conan O'Brien]

Charles, why did you. Charles, can I remind you that you called me Charles? You called me.

[Charles]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, why did you call me? Why didn't you call Taylor Swift?

[Charles]

I don't have her number. Maybe you could connect me with her.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, so now you want to use me to get to Taylor Swift? Oh, that is so low, Charles. So just because. Okay, that is. That is the lowest of the low. Well, I was. Sorry. I want. No, don't be sorry. You're being honest and I appreciate that. And I think you're saving me a lot of disappointment. You know, I don't know, Charles, I'd like to help save your candies. I really would. And I do think you and Taylor.

[Charles]

Swift in the commercial, if you want.

[Sona Movsesian]

She won't agree to that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, she's not going to work with me. And that's been made clear before.

[Sona Movsesian]

She shouldn't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, whatever. For whatever reason, her. There's a cease and desist. Charles, I want to try and help your candy company. I really do. I think you guys are stuck in the past. You said that your company's slogans and whole marketing campaign was invented at the end of World War II, and that was a long time ago.

[Charles]

We don't actually have a slogan to think about.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, no, wait. You don't have a slogan.

[Sona Movsesian]

It gets worse.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's no slogan.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, give them a slogan.

[Charles]

I don't think so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I mean, first of all, we got to get you a slogan, right? Don't you think? Have you thought at all about a possible slogan?

[Matt Gourley]

How about we don't actually have a slogan as a slogan?

[Charles]

It's actually hard to make a slogan with the Tarzan in Texas name.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no. Well, we could change. Would you. Would your uncle be open to changing the name of some of the candies and maybe going with a new advertising campaign? Would he be open to that?

[Charles]

Oh, I'm not so sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

What if I talk to Him?

[Charles]

Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think you can convince him.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm very convincing. I think I could talk to your uncle and say we have to change this. I mean, you're down to 17 employees. You used to have hundreds. Okay, yeah. And now, I mean, your youngest customer voted for Eisenhower in the American elections. You can't. This has got to stop. We've got to turn this around. It's time.

[Charles]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you know what I mean?

[Charles]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't seem as desperate as I want you to be.

[Charles]

No, I've been desperate. That's why I called you.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're not coming across as desperate. You're giggling a lot. You seem kind of happy. You're speaking very quietly. You're saying candies in a delightful way. I'm not getting desperation. It is zero hour. We have got to do something.

[Charles]

Yeah. Help us, Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I will. I'd love to help you. If we can agree on a fee. We may have to sell off most of the factory to pay my fee. Oh, well, this is a little awkward. Well, you're going to pay it. There's nothing you can do about it.

[Charles]

My uncle will talk to you about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I've got some guys that'll rough up your uncle. Why don't my guys come by? I'm rooting for you. I like you, Charles. You seem like a nice guy. Do you have a family, Charles?

[Charles]

Yeah, actually, I have a brother. And then my parents are still here.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I'm rooting for you guys because I'd like to turn things around for you. You know, I like this candy. I want your candy company to be the biggest candy company in the Philippines.

[Charles]

I hope so. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's good.

[Charles]

To be what?

[Conan O'Brien]

Currently, what's your competitor? Who's the big candy company?

[Charles]

Actually, there's a bigger company like, called Colombia and they sell a different type of candy. So they have like mental hard candies, menthol hard candies.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I think this is a. I don't know why they're in the lead. Yeah. If they're selling basically a cough drop. Yeah. I think. I just think this is an easy assignment. I think I'm a good leader, Charles. And I'm an innovator. I'm a visionary, and I know how to brand. I think I could come into Manila and I could turn your candy company around. I really do.

[Charles]

I hope so. Yeah. That'll be the dream.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Do you trust me?

[Charles]

And will and. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Will you listen? Will you listen to me? Will you listen to my advice?

[Charles]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Will Your uncle. Listen to me. Change.

[Charles]

We'll convince him.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay? Anybody? What do you think? Do you think I could do this?

[Sona Movsesian]

Do I think you can go to a candy factory and make it better?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, Bigger and better. Big hit in the Philippines.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I don't think you can do it. I'm sorry.

[Matt Gourley]

No, I don't think you can do it either.

[Sona Movsesian]

Do you think you can do it?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've never.

[Charles]

I think you can do it.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's by copyright infringement. That's your plan?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I think by the time the Taylor Swift organization's huge. Yeah, they've got a lot to worry about. By the time they catch on to this Manila candy company, you know what I mean? You'll have so much money, you won't know what to do with it. All right? And then you and I scram. We take off, okay? And we leave your uncle holding the bag and he has to answer to the Taylor Swift people.

[Charles]

Actually, there's a. I just remembered, there's actually a Taylor Swift impersonator here. Well, she's. She's more like a drag impersonator of Taylor Swift.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's fine. So maybe we use that person.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's better.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's perfect.

[Charles]

We can use her. Yeah, her name's Taylor. Sheesh.

[Conan O'Brien]

So, yeah, well, Taylor shish. So basically, Taylor, shut up. Okay, well, that's terrific, Charles. We have all the ingredients we need. Okay, I'm coming. I'm going to. I'm going to get a Taylor Swift impersonator. We're going to violate Taylor Swift's copyright. We're going to turn this candy around and make it a big deal. And then, correct me if I'm wrong, there are thousands of islands in the Philippines, right?

[Charles]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

When things. When the. When the heat comes, you and I take the money and we go and we hide out on one of those islands and we live like kings.

[Charles]

Yeah, sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, sure. I just told you the most innovative heist scheme of all time that involves you radically changing your life and hiding forever with a red haired madman on a tiny island in the Philippines and living under my tyrannical rule. And you say, yeah, sure.

[Charles]

Well, the beaches here in the Philippines are very nice though.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. We're going to do it. All right. Well, I hope we can make this work out. I'll do my best. All right?

[Charles]

I hope so. Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Just try and calm down.

[Matt Gourley]

You see, meanwhile, if you have any stock in your company, I might consider selling it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't do that. You got to believe in me, okay? I've never ruined a candy company in the Philippines before. That's maybe the new slurs for everything. Yeah. All right. Well, you take care, Charles. It's been nice talking to you.

[Charles]

Thanks for having me. Yeah. I hope I'll see you soon. Here.

[Conan O'Brien]

You never know. You never know. You won't even know because I don't think you know what I look like. Bye. Bye, Charles. Thanks, Charles. Bye.

[Charles]

Bye.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien Sonamovsesian and Matt Gourlay produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jimmy.

[Matt Gourley]

Supervising Producer Aaron Blaird A Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples Associate Producers Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by eduardo Perez get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's your boldest, truly ambitious life goal? Everyone has one and everyone deserves a.

[Sona Movsesian]

Way to get there.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's why Estate street offers a wide variety of ETFs to give all investors access to the market and the chance to reach their goals. Like with DIA, where you get 30 US blue chip stocks in a single trade. Wherever you're heading, getting there starts here with State Street. Before investing, consider the fund's investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses. Visit ssga.com for prospectus containing this and other information. Read it carefully. DIA Subject to risks similar to those of stocks. All ATs are subject to risk, including possible loss of principal. Alps Distributors Inc. Distributor the new Sonic Queso Smasher is now available. You're going to want to try this. They made the Sonic Smasher you love because you do love your Sonic Smasher, don't you? Sonic?

[Sona Movsesian]

I love Sonic smashes and I love queso.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, guess what? They took the Sonic Smasher you love and they added the new creamy Queso in hand Smash patties made to order.

[Sona Movsesian]

Just makes my brain explode.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just saw your brain explode and queso came out. The Sonic Queso smash is the perfect combination of Angus patties, creamy queso jalapenos and a southwest aioli. Sounds like juicy goodness to me. All that's left to do is choose a double or a triple. Make mine two triples. That's a sex tuplet. The new Sonic Queso Smasher. Live free, Eat Sonic.