Don’t Look A Gift Horse Meat In The Mouth Yet Again

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Don’t Look A Gift Horse Meat In The Mouth Yet Again"

Podcast: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Hosts: Conan O’Brien, Sona Movsesian, Matt Gourley
Guest: Asiya (fan from Kazakhstan, originally met Conan in Vienna)
Date: October 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

This lively episode features Conan reconnecting with Asiya, a fan from Kazakhstan whom he serendipitously met while filming in Austria. What follows is a spirited conversation about Kazakhstan’s culture, cuisine, and customs, all filtered through Conan and his team’s irrepressible humor and curiosity. The episode swings between genuine cross-cultural exchange and classic Conan comedy, including impressions, self-deprecation, and delightful misunderstandings.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Chance Encounter in Vienna

• [01:31–03:38] Conan recounts how Asiya "accosted" him—her word—on the street in Vienna when he was shooting his travel show.
  • Conan jokes that her “instinct” to get a chicken sandwich led to their fateful meeting.
  • Asiya describes her disbelief and joy at seeing Conan, a familiar face, in an unexpected place.

2. Introducing Kazakhstan to Conan

• [04:09–05:12] Asiya describes her hometown, Almaty, once Kazakhstan’s capital, as beautiful and surrounded by mesmerizing lakes and mountains.

  • She offers to be Conan’s tour guide should he ever visit.

• [05:14–06:40] The group touches upon stereotypes about Kazakhstan, particularly Western perceptions influenced by the movie "Borat".

  • Quote [06:01] Asiya: “I met a lot of people who actually think that that’s Kazakhstan... It was a bit painful to watch, to be honest.”

3. Kazakh Traditions and Conan’s Imagined Adventures

• [09:01–11:10] Asiya explains traditional eagle hunting on horseback—a real Central Asian custom—though the hosts comically embellish it.

  • Conan feigns bravado about his eagle-handling skills.
    • Quote [09:22] Conan: “I am very athletic and I have great command over eagles with my mind.”
  • Asiya assures him the eagle would be trained but admits uncertainty about the specifics.

• [11:31–12:09] The conversation devolves into humor about hunting rabbits, leading to accusations of making up details and playful banter about arm-strength and holding panthers.

4. Kazakh Cuisine and Cultural Etiquette

• [17:31–18:52] Asiya introduces "beshparmak" as Kazakhstan’s national dish—horse meat eaten with the hands.

  • The hosts express surprise and intrigue, with a volley of jokes about eating one’s own horse and the taste of horse meat.
  • Quote [18:32] Conan: “I don’t want to eat the horse that I rode. That just seems like a betrayal.”

• [20:40–22:39] Asiya details tea-drinking customs, stressing that in her (southern) region, it’s disrespectful to serve a full cup; instead, hosts refill cups with small amounts to encourage lingering conversation.

  • Quote [21:26] Asiya: “Only pour a little bit... so that the tea is hot. And then after you’re done, after like a few sips, you get another tea. So... you can drink tea for four hours.”

5. Family, Foreignness, and Conan’s Persona

• [22:39–24:05] Asiya reflects that her parents might be shocked and slightly intimidated by Conan’s height and presence, having had little exposure to foreigners.

  • Conan asks how to make a good impression, joking about lowering his booming voice to avoid startling them—which the group determines would be even stranger.
  • Quote [24:41] Asiya: “They know he’s a famous creep.”

• [25:11–26:25] The team muses about Conan gaining fame in Kazakhstan through local festivals or tabloid appearances.

6. Books, Literature, and Genuine Connection

• [26:39–30:02] Asiya, an avid reader, asks Conan for book recommendations.
  • Conan discusses his recent reads, including a 1,200-page Mark Twain biography and "The Brothers Karamazov," leading to a mutual appreciation for Russian literature.
  • Quote [28:18] Conan: “There are parts that are a bit of a slog because it’s Dostoevsky and he had a lot of time on his hands and a lot of ink, but I really liked it.”
  • Asiya expresses gratitude for reading Dostoevsky in the original Russian.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [07:40] Asiya: “I was shocked how tall you are. Really. I was like, wow, you’re huge. And then the second fact is that your hair is real.”
• [12:09] Conan (joking): “You went on and on about how Kazakhstan is so important to you, and you want to right all the wrong things that have been said... You don’t know shit!”
• [18:49] Matt (dubious): “Better than beef? That’s tough.”
• [24:41] Asiya (about parental recognition): “They know he’s a famous creep.”
• [28:48] Conan (on Dostoevsky’s The Idiot): “That’s my life story. Read it—I'm living it.”
• [26:25] Conan (on their budding friendship): “I think we’re friends now. Are we not friends?”
  • Asiya: “Oh, yes, we are.”

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Highlighted Segments (with Timestamps)

• 00:00–01:31: Skipped (ads/intros)
• 03:38–06:40: Borat Stereotypes and Kazakhstan’s Realities
• 09:01–11:10: Horseback Eagle Hunting (tradition and comedy)
• 17:31–18:52: Horse Meat Cuisine: “beshparmak” explained
• 20:40–22:39: Kazakh Tea Custom: Only pour a little!
• 22:39–24:05: Meeting the Parents and Cultural Differences
• 26:39–30:02: Book Recommendations and Russian Literary Love

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Conan’s Signature Playfulness & Fan-Focused Tone

Throughout, Conan and his co-hosts balance irreverence with honest curiosity, making space for fan contributions. They riff on cultural misunderstandings (“Do you like sexy books?”), Conan’s “virility,” and the hilarious prospect of him as a national celebrity in Kazakhstan.

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Final Takeaways

• The episode is a charming whirlwind—one part travelogue, several parts improv sketch, and, most centrally, an unscripted celebration of spontaneous connection.
• Listeners gain real insight into Kazakh culture (with caveats for comic exaggeration), cross-cultural faux pas, and literary passions, while never losing the trademark Conan banter.

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Recommended for:
Fans who want a blend of genuine cross-cultural curiosity, laughter, and the sense that a celebrity, too, is just looking for friendship in surprising places.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Oh man.

[A]

Yeah, they didn't write that. We did that. You're welcome, Sonic Media Team. But they can give you a Sonic smash with a free large drink when you order through the Sonic app for a limited time. Live free. Eat Sonic.

[B]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan.

[C]

Want to talk to Conan?

[B]

Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

[A]

Oh, hi Asiya.

[D]

You've caught us at an odd time. Welcome to the show.

[A]

Hello, Asiya.

[C]

Hi. Oh my God, I can't believe this.

[A]

Now Asiya, normally on Conan o' Brien needs a fan podcast. I say it's nice to meet you, but I must tell everyone we have already met. I was shooting my travel show in Austria when suddenly I was accosted by a young woman who approached me. You accosted me and I love using that word. I was accosted. You came up to me on the street, you saw me shooting and you walked right up to me and we had a quick conversation which by the way made it into, I believe the Ostry show.

[C]

I saw it in a trailer, I mean the short episode of it and I was amazed. Really? Yeah. I didn't think that you would really make to the show and I was really so shocked. But I can't believe that I talked to you again and I see you again.

[A]

Well, first of all, let's paint the picture, I was in Vienna, and I was standing on the street with a camera crew. And what made you come over? Did you know what we were doing? Did you see me? Or did you just come over to investigate?

[C]

Okay, so the story is a bit strange. I was on my way back home, but I had this strong intuition that I want some chicken sandwich. And there is a very good, like, store or shop right next to the spot where you were with Jordan. And I was like, am I that hungry, really, to walk there? But my intuition was so strong, like, go there. Go and get your chicken sandwich. And I was like, okay. And I was on my way, and then I was like, something weird is happening because that's the street I walk on every day to get to my work. And it was a bit loud. And that's so unusual. To Vienna. And I'm like, okay, what's going on? And then I see you, and I was stunned, Really. I was like, that's not possible. So it was such a surreal experience.

[A]

Well, you know what? I love that you, Asiya, you portray this as this. This instinct or this karma drew you to me. It was a chicken sandwich.

[D]

That's how I got this job.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. What I do, what I'm gonna do from now on when I travel to other countries is just stand next to the chicken sandwich store. But, Asiya, it was really fun to meet you. And I could tell right away you've got a great personality. And you told me that you're from Kazakhstan. Is that right?

[C]

Exactly. Yes, yes. Yeah.

[A]

And so you are a representative of Kazakhstan. I've never been to Kazakhstan. And, you know, I like to travel. I like to find out about other countries. Were I to go to Kazakhstan and you were to show me around, first of all, what would be your mission? What would you want to show me? What would you want me to learn about Kazakhstan?

[C]

So, yeah, actually, Kazakhstan is the ninth largest country in the world, so it's pretty big. And it's very important, really, to pick a certain region or certain city. And I originally come from Almaty, so it used to be a capital, but not anymore. And Almaty actually has beautiful, beautiful nature, so mountains and lakes, and it's really mesmerizing, the nature. So I would really invite you to Almaty to visit this city first. Yeah, but.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Very beautiful. It's very.

[A]

Are there. What are the. Are there stereotypes about Kazakhstan that you would want to correct?

[C]

Oh, yeah, probably, you know, the Borat movie. So it's. It's a pretty triggering topic for us. I know, yeah. There is a specific irony behind the movie and then specific, I would say, type of humor and so on, but as a citizen of Kazakhstan, it's a bit sensitive topic for us.

[A]

Do you think the Borat movie, he's clearly, you know, he's not pretending to depict the actual Kazakhstan, but it upsets the people in Kazakhstan that that's how it's portrayed in the movie Borat.

[C]

But this is you. So you know that, okay, that's not real Kazakhstan, but I met a lot of people who actually think that that's Kazakhstan. And I grew a bit tired to kind of correct them that that's not actually Kazakhstan. So the movie was filmed in Romania, and they actually use real national symbols, like our flag and then the geography of the country and then the name of the country. So it was a bit painful to watch, to be honest. But of course that it's a humor and it's irony. But I couldn't really bear and bring myself to watch more than six or seven minutes of that movie. Really?

[A]

Well, I thought you were about to say I could only watch it six or seven times. On the seventh time, I decided that's it. That's very common, though, where comedians make something and then there are people who don't, who see it and think, oh, Borat's a real correspondent. But, yes, I understand. I understand. There have been depictions of my hometown of Boston, which portray us as loud, abrasive people that wear Red Sox caps backwards and just eat chowder. And they're absolutely right. Absolutely.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Yeah, Correct. It's pretty true. Well, okay, let's pretend here. Asiya, first of all, I'm curious. When you saw me in person, was there anything that surprised you? Some people are taken with my in person that I'm quite different than I am on television. Say my virility. Hello. Is this thing on? Is this thing working? No, I'm just curious what you thought when you first saw me.

[C]

I was shocked how tall you are. Really? I was like, wow, you're huge. And then the second fact is that your hair is real. So that was really.

[A]

You thought I'd been. All these years I've been wearing a wig, you thought, this is a wig that I've been wearing?

[C]

I don't know. I don't know. It's serious.

[A]

You know what? It's interesting, Asiya. I am. My hair is very strange. It is real. But I am contemplating at some point, when it's necessary, switching to a wig. Just a wig. It'd just Be so much easier to strap on a Conan wig. You know that they sell them somewhere.

[D]

Like those generic talk show host wigs, that kind of thing.

[A]

It's something that just looks like a helmet that I just put on. The pompadour is ready to go. It's made of nylon. It locks in place. It's also got a digital clock and a pocket for me to keep little trinkets in. So that's coming.

[C]

No, no, no. But you look very good. You look very good.

[A]

Thank you very much. Thank you. That's what I was looking for, and I got it. And we'll edit out everything else except that I look really good. And then we'll put an echo on that. So. Okay.

[D]

Make a note of that.

[A]

Yeah, it's okay. It's just gonna happen naturally. I come to Kazakhstan and you, Asiya, you show me around. You will be the ambassador. You'll be showing me around because we're friends already. We've already met. What are the kind of activities that we would do or the customs that you would teach me?

[C]

Hunting, maybe on a horse.

[A]

Hunting on a horse? Wow.

[C]

Yeah. You like steps? You on a horse, holding an eagle and then hunting some small, small animals.

[A]

You think I could ride a horse and hold an eagle at the same time on my arm? And that's how I hunt?

[C]

Why not?

[A]

No, no. I mean, for now. Yeah. I mean, I am very athletic and I have great command over eagles with my mind. So the eagle needs to. I can't train the eagle. The eagle's pre trained. Right? The eagle knows what it's doing.

[C]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

And what are we hunting?

[C]

They're also pretty heavy.

[A]

Go ahead.

[C]

They are pretty heavy. But I think you will. You'll get this.

[A]

Yeah, they're pretty. What? Heavy? Heavy. Oh, they're even heavy. Have you seen these guns? Did you look at my arm in person when we saw each other? This thing I could have. You could put a panther on this arm. I'd hold it for all day and all night.

[B]

Why would you hold a panther all day and all night?

[A]

And all night. So it's a close relationship with me and the panther. You know, you ask the dumbest questions.

[B]

I do.

[A]

When I'm talking about having a panther perched on my arm while I'm on horseback, and then you come in with these insane allegations. I'm sorry.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

You took what I was saying about having a panther on my arm on horseback in Kazakhstan and then made it silly.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, an eagle can be on his arm for a long time.

[A]

There'd be an eagle on my arm. And I'm just curious, what is the eagle going to. When I say, first of all, what is the command I give to the eagle in. In the native tongue, what would I say?

[C]

I don't know. Scream something like, hey, or what?

[A]

I know that's the best you can do. Wait a minute. Are you from Baltimore? I think this is all a put on. I can hear the Baltimore Orioles playing behind you in a stadium. Yes. Kazakhstan. Oh, what do I yell to the eagle? When I wanted to get going, she.

[D]

Got all her information from Bora.

[A]

Yeah, I just thought I.

[C]

No, no, no. I just. I only said that I can imagine you being, like, on a horse with an eagle and then giving some commands to.

[A]

Well, guess what? I would do that in a second. I would eat that up and spit it out. So what are we hunting? What is an eagle? I mean, it's not like the eagle has to capture something that's smaller than the eagle. I'm guessing, right?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe some rabbits. I don't know. Are you into rabbits?

[A]

Okay, what do you mean, am I into rabbit?

[B]

I think she's making this up.

[A]

You know what? She goes along so full of shit right now. This is just nonsense. Yes. You would have an ego. What would I say to. I don't know, something that people in Kazakhstan say. And what would we get? I don't know. Rabbit. What do you think? What do I think? You're talking about this. You went on and on about how Kazakhstan is so important to you, and you want to right all the wrong things that have been said about Kazakhstan. You don't know shit. Come on.

[D]

Your name is Claire.

[C]

I'm a bird.

[A]

Hey, Claire. Claire from Baltimore.

[C]

Chickens.

[A]

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[B]

You're a God. Oh, wow. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Nice.

[A]

That was me that said that. Anyway. And for those reasons, I won't stay at the Comfort Inn again. But. But I like this. This experience. I like this experience of just feeling like a person. And you can wander around, you can you feel like it's a very personal space you can chill and. And I know Blay, you're a big Airbnb person. Yeah. And I like to, when I go on trips, I like to put my place up to host so I can make a little extra scratch while I' just got this cool new big glowing egg lamp that changes color. So it's very, very cool. And you've had no offers. Loved it. Except for the glowing egg. Yeah, you know, it's sci fi, it's relaxing, it's really cool. Well, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host sometimes life is better unscripted. And that's true of Travel fo show. St. Pete Clearwater on Florida's Gulf coast near Tampa is a perfect location to plan a spontaneous trip where you can improvise and discover as you go. Imagine walking on that powder soft white sands. They only got that at St. Pete Clearwater, Florida. Swim in Gulf waters that are crystal clear. Gotta go to St. Pete Clearwater. Like to shop. You can wander through indie shops and galleries. You gotta eat at some point, right? Guess what? The restaurant scene in Saint Pure Clearwater is unbelievable. Plenty of mom and pop seafood restaurants, waterfront dining, rooftop bars, Top chefs. Want something a little more adventurous? Hop on a boat tour to see wild dolphins and seabirds. Sometimes at the same time. Sometimes the wild dolphin has a seabird on its head and it's like, check me out. And the bird's like, yeah, I'm on his head. And the dolphin's like, yeah, he's on top of me. And we're like, we get it. You didn't have to say any of that. And by the way you guys talk, don't you love having the sun on your face and the wind in your hair? This is a great time to take a break from your Everyday in beautiful St. Pete Clearwater, Florida. Head to visit SPC.com to start planning your trip today. Sona, do you remember when you redid Blay's apartment?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Using Ashley.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have some ideas for the office now?

[B]

Yeah. My first idea was to change your office. Oh, no offense. I don't think it's necessary. So I was thinking because my boys visit like a couple times a year. A few times a year.

[A]

I love it when. When your guys come over. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So I thought we would change your office to like a kid's room.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So I think I have some ideas. I thought I would put in this Pipertin twin tent, complete Bed in the house.

[A]

Oh, that looks. Actually, I would have loved that as a kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So my office. No longer my office. It's more or less a kid's room.

[B]

Charlie and Mikey's room for Charlie and Mike.

[A]

So.

[B]

And then. But we'll keep your desk in the corner.

[C]

It's fine.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And then the next thing I thought was unnecessary was your edit bay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where you edit your.

[A]

Where we do all the editing for the travel shows.

[B]

Yeah. Like, is it that necessary? So I thought it would change it into like a meditation yoga room. So we're putting in this TV stand there so that people can just kind of hang out.

[A]

Because when you do meditation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to make sure that the summer I turn pretty is on. On the back.

[C]

Hey, yeah.

[B]

Guided meditation. It's very meditative. A cute little couch.

[A]

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[B]

They do.

[A]

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[C]

It's nice.

[A]

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[C]

Okay, so.

[A]

And don't say chicken sandwich.

[C]

So besides riding a horse, you can. We can actually eat horses. So horse meat. The national Dish is called. Yeah, the.

[A]

The national dish is horse meat.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

What's it called?

[C]

It's called bish parmak, and it. It translates into five fingers because we eat it with fingers. It's. That's Pesh parmak.

[A]

Okay, fine.

[C]

Oh, that's like Turkish. Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It's funny. You walked in today eating horse out of a bag.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Besh Parma. Yeah. It was your five fingers.

[D]

It was a full head of horse.

[A]

Yeah. You got it at a drive through.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm curious. So you eat horse, you said, I don't want to eat the horse that I rode. That just seems like a betrayal. You know, if that horse just. If I just rode a horse and we got food together, I would hate to then say, I know we just caught a rabbit, but guess what, buddy, you're up.

[C]

Oh, of course, of course. That's a different horse. So, yeah, that's not the horse that you would ride. But actually, horse meat is very tasty.

[A]

Is it?

[C]

It's very tasty. It's very. It is. It is. That's why we eat it.

[D]

So does it taste like any other kind of meat that we would know?

[C]

Yes, like beef, but even. Even better.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Better than beef? Yeah.

[C]

That's tough.

[D]

Tough.

[A]

Who is. Who is. I feel like then if this is true, if coarse, really does taste fantastic, and it's better than beef that someone has, why is it not more?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why.

[D]

Why are our pets eating horse and not us? You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Pet food is usually horse meat. Is it often?

[A]

Right.

[D]

Isn't it like horse gelatin and not my.

[A]

Our dogs eat foie gras.

[C]

Oh, geez.

[A]

Yeah. Just the finest sausage.

[C]

Actually, here in Austria. They also eat horses. Some horse sausage here in Austria.

[A]

So I eat a lot of sausage in Austria.

[D]

Oh, there you go.

[C]

So probably.

[A]

Yeah. And then I galloped for the next two weeks.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[D]

That's how that works.

[A]

Yeah, that's tr.

[D]

So what do you do when you have a hamburger?

[A]

I chew cud and I nuzzle up a moo and I nuzzle up against a fence.

[D]

What do you do when you say have octopus?

[A]

Oh, man, I'm all hands on a date.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I've gotten in a lot of trouble after I've had octopi. What about some of the traditions? I'm sorry, Asiya. I wish we were stupid. I wish we were a smarter podcast. I wish we were better people. But we'. And this is your fault because you came up to me. I didn't come up to you. What about some of the things I know that there's some. Sometimes there are customs when I go to a country where you'd think, oh, this is not a big deal, but it's actually a huge deal. And it's something very simple. Do you know what I mean? Like how you consume manners at a table or ways in which you eat something. I know that in Japan you can commit an incredible faux pas and not even know it unless you've studied up on, on the culture. Tell me about that in Kazakhstan.

[C]

We also have something like this in Kazakhstan. And it is. We are very big, so tea nation. We love tea.

[A]

You love tea.

[C]

We drink tea, yes, very much in the morning, throughout the day. So it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether it's cold outside or warm. We always drink tea. And there's a. Also special way to pour tea to someone. And for example, in my region, so my family comes from south of Kazakhstan extent, and it is very disrespectful to like, you have a cup and then to fill the cup and then to give this cup to a person to drink. So it's very kind of disrespectful. So we should.

[A]

Wait a minute. It's disrespectful to fill the cup with tea and hand it to someone?

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

So what's the alternative?

[C]

Only pour a little bit. You should only pour.

[A]

Just give them a little bit. Okay.

[C]

Yeah. So that the tea is hot. And then after you're done, after like few sips, and then you get another tea. So. And then you can drink tea for four hours, for example. And, and when a person gives a couple that is full with tea, then it's a kind of sign that probably, yeah, you should go home or something like this.

[A]

Wow, that's serious business. Okay, I, I feel sorry for the, the waiters and waitresses because you come by, you give someone a little bit of tea, you move on, they take one sip, and then you're like, hey, you leave me hanging here. I want more tea. And I'm like, hey, I got 15 tables to get to. What do you think this is, a chicken sandwich restaurant? You know, that'd be tough. That'd be tough.

[C]

I know, but I need to correct you here. So it only applies when you're at home.

[A]

Oh, I see.

[C]

I invite you. And then my mom pours you tea. So that's, that's only applicable when you're my guest, for example. But when you're a tea shop or coffee shop, of course, you can get a cup Full of tea.

[A]

Okay. I'm glad we made that distinction. I will be meeting your parents. Do your parents know of me? Do they know of my work? How will your parents react to me? Be honest.

[C]

I think they will be shocked, very shocked by my. How tall you are? I'm sorry to say this, but yes.

[A]

And you mean shocked and kind of like to be frightened. Will they be frightened?

[C]

Yeah, because, you know, my parents, they're like, they weren't that much that often in foreign countries, so just. It's just Turkey or maybe Russia. So for them to see a foreign person is also a big thing.

[A]

So just to be a foreign person would be one thing. But then when this giant. This giant clown comes in with orange hair towering over them, that might be kind of a startling experience.

[C]

But also, we don't talk loud so loudly. And maybe that might also be a thing. Yeah, they might be surprised for you. Oh, wow.

[A]

So did you think I was kind of loud when you talked to me?

[C]

No, no, no, no, of course. No. I'm just saying that how my parents or my family would see is. Yeah, they don't have that much experience, you know, communicating or talking to foreign people.

[A]

So that's. Maybe Just remind me if I do meet your parents, because I want to make a good impression that remind me beforehand and maybe I'll just lower my voice a lot. Is that good?

[C]

That's. That's weird. That's strange.

[A]

Oh, hello. I am a friend of Asiya's, and it's nice to meet you. My name is Conan. Is that creepy?

[C]

That is kind of weird.

[A]

Why? Why is that creepy?

[D]

Yeah, it just doesn't feel right coming out of your mouth.

[B]

Yeah. Do they know who he is? Do they know that, like, Conan's a famous entertainer and performer, or do they have a.

[C]

They know he's a famous creep.

[A]

Please continue with your answer. Yes.

[C]

No, they're just into Russian and Kazakh television. They. Yeah, they don't know about Conant, but I know. I know that they will be really amazed by your charm.

[A]

And then I never cracked that Russian Kazakhstani. I know market. I never could. And I have tried. I have tried.

[D]

This could be your chance.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe when you're on a horse with an eagle, we can get the, like, local paparazzi there or, like, TV stations.

[A]

I would like to be featured in. Do you have magazines that feature celebrities from Kazakhstan and, you know, neighboring countries? I'd like to be in one of those magazines, you know, frolicking on the beach.

[C]

This, I don't know, but we have very, like huge music festivals. So maybe you can be there and sing and dance and that would be.

[A]

I would think I would just come out with a guitar, but I'd have an eagle on my arm and I would have the eagle attack the crowd and I'd never play one note on the guitar.

[C]

That would be cool. Really?

[A]

Yeah. I'd make everyone in the audience dress up as a rabbit before I came out. Asiya, this is one of the stranger interviews I've ever had. I think it's your fault. I blame you. And I think this is all your fault because I was just minding my own business in Vienna. In Vienna, mind you, where I think I'm gonna meet Austrians when someone from Kazakhstan walks up to me munching on a chicken sandwich. And now look at us, here we are talking. It's very cool. This is the part of my job that I love. I like to meet people from distant lands and create these connections. And I think we're friends now. Are we not friends?

[C]

Oh, yes, we are. So, yeah, I couldn't stop, really, when I saw you, I couldn't stop. I was really amazed to see you in Vienna. Just in. Yeah. And yeah, I was very happy again to see you.

[A]

Well, it was very nice.

[C]

I have one question, actually.

[A]

Oh yeah? Go ahead, ask me a question.

[C]

So I'm a book lover. I love books. I love reading. Do you have any book advice maybe, or what you've been reading lately?

[A]

Well, I just read this massive 1200 page biography of Mark Twain, the American humorist. It's not a beach read unless you want to use the book to shield you from the sun. I loved it. I actually thought it was fantastic. But what kind of books do you like? You have to give me. What kind of thing are you interested in? Do you like true crime? Do you like history? Do you like. Do you like sexy books?

[B]

Sexy books?

[A]

You mean Playboy?

[B]

Like. Like fanfic and you know, like Fabio cover books.

[A]

Asiya, do you like a sexy book?

[C]

No, I've never read them though.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. I'm sorry.

[B]

Alone on my island.

[D]

Do you like sexy.

[A]

You read Fabio?

[B]

I love the sexy books.

[A]

What? Fabio books?

[B]

No, like, you know, like a supermarket.

[D]

Like a 50 shades of gray kind of thing.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

She like. I'm sorry, Sona broke in with her own predilections and said that she likes sexy books. That was not me. I like history books where sometimes sexy things happen.

[D]

Never.

[A]

I beg to differ, sir. I beg to differ. Some crazy stuff went down at Fort Sumter before the firing began. But anyway, give me a clue as to what kind of book you like.

[C]

I'm into Russian literature, so. Into Russian classics.

[A]

Oh, guess what?

[C]

Boring.

[A]

No, no, no, not boring at all. I just read Brothers Karamazov.

[C]

Ooh, Dostoevsky.

[A]

I went on a Dostoevsky jag, and I just. I read. I finished Brothers Karamazov a couple of weeks ago, and I. I loved it. There are parts that are a bit of a slog because it's Dostoevsky and he had a lot of time on his hands and a lot of ink, but I really liked it, and I liked Crime and Punishment a lot. So. Do you like that?

[C]

Yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah. Have you read the Idiot? I. Idiot.

[A]

That's my life story. Read it. I'm living it. What are you talking about? Hey, Conan, have you read the Idiot? Duh.

[C]

No, no, no. That's also Dostoevsky novel.

[A]

Yes, I know, I know, I know. The Idiot is a Dostoevsky novel. Y. I have read it, and I'm. I just. I love Russian literature. I think it's fascinating. I really do. I also love Russian history. Right now I'm doing a deep dive on Peter the Great and how he defeated Sweden. And see, I think.

[C]

I just. I think count myself very lucky because why did I say Russian? And see, and then I breed in Russian.

[A]

Anyway. Yes, I would keep reading about Russia. There's such a fascinating history Russia, Fascinating people with a fascinating history. And so.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Yes. You know, read Lenin.

[C]

I just count myself.

[A]

Pardon me.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Go ahead.

[C]

No, I just count myself very lucky that I know Russian and I can read in Russian. So to read Dostoevsky in Russian, it's really. It's a really a thing that I can even explain, like how grateful I am actually to know Russian, to actually read them in their native language.

[A]

Also the plays, the Seagull. I saw a production of the Seagull in New Haven not long ago, and it was amazing. It was great. I mean, it all holds up. The Cherry Orchard. It's the classics. Read the plays as well.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm sorry we lost Sona. Who's waiting for the sexy part?

[D]

Yeah, frankly, I am, too.

[A]

The Seagull gets it on with another seagull.

[B]

All right.

[A]

There's a whole section where they get it on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Asiya, I hope I get to visit you. It would be really fun, and I look forward to some of it. The drinking small amounts of tea, horseback, eagle on my arm, maybe a Leopard as well. And, you know, horse meat. We'll talk about it. Okay. I don't know if I'll use five fingers. I might use an ice cream scoop. We'll talk about it. But clearly I'm babbling now and I'm being told by my producer that I'm out of control and it's time for me to take my medication. But it's so nice to talk to you, Asiya, and thank you very much for coming up and saying hi to me in Vienna. I love this kind of connection. It's really cool.

[C]

Of course. Yeah, really. I'm so happy to see you again and talk to you again. And also you, Sona. And you. I. I don't remember your name. Sorry.

[A]

I have trouble too. My name's Fabio. His name's Fabio.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

No, it's Matt. It's Matt. Don't be Matt. It's okay. It's okay. There's too many of us to know. There's a lot of people in here.

[D]

I often forget my own name.

[A]

Yes. Yes. Okay. He's late stages of dementia. Well, it was nice to talk to you and I wish you well and thank you for being such a cool person.

[C]

Thank you, Conan. Okay, thank you.

[A]

Bye bye.

[C]

Bye bye.

[D]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan With Conan o' Brien, Sonam Obsessian and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair Associate talent Producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign [e-mail] Conan please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. Hi, I'm Roman Mars, host of 99% Invisible. It's a podcast about all the thought that goes into things most people don't even think about. You're going to see stories everywhere. Follow and listen to 99% invisible wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

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