Janelle James

Summary

Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend — Janelle James (Sept 22, 2025)

Main Theme & Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Conan O’Brien welcomes the hilarious Janelle James—comedian, actress, and star of Abbott Elementary—for a candid, rapid-fire, and often heartwarming conversation. The episode explores Janelle’s unconventional journey into comedy and acting, her approach to fame, her character on Abbott Elementary, and the highs and absurdities of being recognized for a role that’s larger than life. The show’s trademark banter and playful energy are dialed up, with deep dives into Janelle’s past “hustle” jobs, her standup roots, her family background, and the real-life hustle behind her on-screen persona.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Boston Nostalgia

• Conan recounts his recent trip to Boston and introduces the local phrase “shoot the noob,” launching a round of regional comedy between the co-hosts.
  • (“You know, guy can't even shoot the noob in peace.” - Conan, 05:15)

2. First Impressions & Setting the Vibe

• Conan introduces Janelle, noting her unique comedic presence as Ava on Abbott Elementary (11:02).
• Janelle “cleanses” the studio with palo santo incense, causing playful chaos as the smoke chases Conan, which they interpret as the room needing “cleansing.”
  • (“It’s going right towards you, so you probably need some.” - Janelle, 12:01)

3. Janelle’s Path to Comedy

• Janelle details her origin: born in St. Thomas, raised as the oldest of nine siblings, she moved to Maryland at 16, and then to New York, inspired by Madonna (17:52–18:23).
• Her diverse “hustle” jobs included working salons, restaurants, at the Scores strip club as a cigar girl (“humidor”), teaching sewing, personal chef gigs, and more (18:27–20:34).
  • (“I was too prudish to get naked, but I wish I did when I still had that body.” - Janelle, 19:05)
• She only discovered her comedic voice as an adult, encouraged first by her ex-husband’s observations during their “imbibed” conversations (21:04).

4. Finding Standup & Early Comedy Career

• Standup began after moving to the Midwest—she was handed a flyer at a grocery store and dared to try open mic (26:25).
• Her early material channeled grief from losing her father, with first road gigs alongside Todd Barry and Rob Delaney.
  • (“Rob Delaney’s at the back of the room with his arms crossed…and he was like, ‘Hey, do you want to tour with me?’” - Janelle, 28:20)
• Janelle describes this period as discovering a new family and community, learning not only craft but practical touring survival—especially how to get paid (30:10).

5. Breakthrough with Abbott Elementary & Approach to Ava Coleman

• Janelle candidly recounts her nonchalant approach to acting auditions—she saw herself as a stand-up, not an actor (31:18).
• The Abbott Elementary script (by Quinta Brunson) stood out, prompting Janelle to reach out directly to Quinta and, after procrastination and encouragement, finally submit a taped audition.
  • (“I don’t know if I act, but I’m gonna try.” - Janelle, 32:26)
• Janelle’s lived experience as a “hustler” informed her take on Ava—the “vainglorious, inept, deluded” principal with “unearned confidence,” empathizing through their shared hustle energy (34:33).
• Conan remarks on how Janelle’s portrayal makes the character likable and endlessly versatile—catnip for writers (36:02).
  • (“My favorite characters in comedy are deluded, egotistical, delusional.” - Conan, 36:04)

6. Identity, Fame, and Boundaries

• Janelle reflects on how the sudden fame that followed Abbott initially felt jarring and even isolating, especially being mistaken for Ava in public.
  • (“Having to realize people think I’m that person…I’ve now intellectualized as, oh, that’s how well I’m doing.” - Janelle, 38:56)
• She candidly shares her struggles with the energy required for public recognition and the value of boundaries; therapy and retreating to home help her manage the spotlight (44:38).

7. Family and Recognition

• Janelle discusses her family’s experience of her fame; her mother (initially shy) is just now displaying her daughter’s photo at work. Her kids don’t watch Abbott, but are gradually comprehending her public persona.
  • (“My oldest son says it’s weird to see me like that…he’s like, ‘what is that voice you’re doing?’” - Janelle, 50:37)
• Conan relates, comparing different celebrities’ relationships with recognition, and sharing that he himself actually enjoys meeting fans (46:15).

8. Staying Grounded and Navigating Career Uncertainty

• Janelle laughs off the “danger” of her character being written off, honestly stating she’s never afraid to pivot and hustle elsewhere if need be (53:20).
  • (“That’s the benefit of having multiple skills.” - Janelle, 53:20)
• She celebrates the affirmation of fans' loyalty when they were concerned about her “firing” on the show.

9. Comic Reflections & Podcasting as Friendship Vehicle

• The pair reflect on the difference between late-night formats and the value of podcasting for real conversation and connection.
  • (“This podcast format…it fits me like a glove because what I really want to do…we really get to talk about some stuff.” - Conan, 54:23)

10. Whimsical Closer: Pools, Parties, Friendship Proposals

• Banter turns to pool shapes and Conan half-seriously inviting himself to Janelle’s new “bulbous” pool—an emblem of newfound, perhaps real, friendship (56:05).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I feel excited about being Conan O'Brien’s friend. I heard he has a lot of money.” — Janelle James, joking intro (01:31)
• “What I would have thought was my worst nightmare would be to be ‘trapped’ in a character… so then to come play this character who’s become her own thing really fucked my head up for the first couple seasons.” — Janelle (38:31)
• “My favorite characters in comedy are deluded, egotistical, delusional… To me, that’s the entertainment industry, baby.” — Conan & Janelle (36:04)
• “She has, like, almost unearned confidence.” — Janelle on Ava (36:23)
• “Once I got to Hollywood and acting, nothing is scary anymore… After doing those VFWs in the Midwest…” — Janelle (36:27)
• “I want to know, what’s your deal? How do you? And I always say, that’s what this experience has taken from me is talking to strangers.” — Janelle on fame’s cost (47:49)
• “Do you like being recognized?” — Conan (43:38)
  • “…I just wanted money and to have fun, not to have to perform every time I leave the house.” — Janelle (44:55)
• “You are yourself, and there’s no changing that.” — Conan, praising Janelle’s groundedness (51:59)
• “Welcome [to my pool] is what I will say.” — Janelle, dryly to Conan’s invitation (56:21)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Kickoff & Boston Banter: 02:09–09:31
• Intro to Janelle & Studio Cleansing: 11:02–13:58
• Janelle’s Origin Story – St. Thomas, NY Hustles: 16:23–20:34
• Standup Beginnings in Midwest: 26:25–28:20
• Networking & Touring with Comics: 28:20–30:46
• Casting as Ava & Approaching the Role: 31:18–34:33
• Discussing Ava—Character Depth & Longevity: 35:03–40:34
• Fame, Boundaries, and Family: 43:38–51:33
• Podcasting & Real Connection: 54:23
• Pool Banter & (Joking) Friendship Proposal: 56:05–56:39

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Light-hearted, sincere, and candid: Janelle oscillates between self-deprecating humor and open vulnerability about life, ambition, and her unexpected ascension.
• Insightful for aspiring creatives: The arc from multi-hustle survivor to TV star is both inspiring and refreshingly non-linear.
• A celebration of late bloomers and “hustlers”: Her journey demonstrates that it's never too late to find your lane—or make one for yourself.
• Grounded discussion about fame: The psychological price and awkwardness of being recognized for a persona unlike your real self.
• Friendship as an ongoing effort: Both Conan and Janelle muse on whether a real friendship might finally emerge from the interview—perhaps, as Conan jokes, in the bulbous pool.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Heard It

This episode’s mix of raucous bits, deep-dive storytelling, and genuine mutual respect offers both plenty of laughs and an unexpectedly touching portrait of Janelle James—her wit, hustle, humility, and the complex reality behind TV “villains.” If you love stories of creative risk, unpredictable paths to stardom, and the nuts-and-bolts of making comedy, this is a must-listen.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, like, who needs a crust?

[A]

You've been saying that since the day I met you 15 years ago, Sona. You said, who needs the crust? And I said, first of all, my name's Conan, you know. Anyway, it's the perfect grab and go for all of life's moments. With unbeatable soft bread and a variety of flavors like, well, peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and strawberry jam. Hello. Peanut butter and raspberry spread and so much more. No mess, no prep, just thaw and eat. Yep, get them in the freezer aisle today.

[C]

Hi, my name is Janelle James and I feel excited about being Conan o' Brien's friend. I heard he has a lot of money.

[A]

I did. And I invested it. Badly.

[C]

Can I redo my. No. Fall is here. Hear the yell Back to school Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walking loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

[A]

Hey, welcome to Conan o'. Brien. Needs a friend. I'm coming in with a lot of energy. I've been away for a little bit. Yeah, I was in Boston, my old hometown of Brookline, Mass.

[D]

Oh, how was that?

[A]

It was great. Got to see a bunch of my peeps. My old gang that I used to run with.

[D]

What were you guys called?

[A]

What's that?

[D]

What was your gang called?

[A]

Oh, it was a pretty tough gang. We wore Lacoste shirts. Studied hard for our PSATs. Yeah, we were the PSAT gang.

[C]

Oh, cool.

[A]

That's tight.

[B]

So scary.

[A]

Yeah, it was really scary. We used to run around sometimes we'd just maladjust someone's cap on their head without their permission.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Yeah. Did you give it a little twist? What's that?

[D]

Did you have a nickname in the. In the gang?

[A]

Mine? Yeah, I guess. I don't want to talk about it. It's a little. It's a little bones, you know, It's a life.

[D]

You don't want to go back to that.

[A]

They used to call me Colonel Baum. Colonel Baum? Yeah. He was a Revolutionary War general and he was a. He was a German.

[D]

Is this what the gang was like?

[A]

Because everyone had to be named after a different Revolutionary War general? He was a German who was sent to fight on behalf of the British. And he was ambushed, I think, up in New Hampshire.

[D]

So you guys would rumble and just. You would come to victory by boring people?

[A]

Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. But I was Colonel Baum, and you just had different people who were different members of the British fighting forces. Cool.

[C]

That's so cool.

[A]

It's the coolest gang. Sexy, too.

[D]

A little sexy.

[A]

So hot. If anyone got laid, they were kicked out of the gang. That's the number one rule yet. No one did.

[C]

No.

[A]

We lost one good guy that way. Oh, really? Yeah. And he just came looking at a woman on screen. But that counted. Any orgasm of any kind meant you were out of the gang, even on your own. Yeah. But you know what? Colonel Baum here, still in the gang. Still in the gang to this day. Wow. Yes. Still in the gang. There have been a couple of times where I've seen an ad for Coco and an attractive woman is serving it. Yeah. And I'm like, restrain oneself.

[D]

It's just you and all these 15 year olds.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The new, new, new hires.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway, no, it was good to get back there. And I have to say, wandering around Newbury street in Boston, I ran into so many people who listened to the podcast who all said, hey, tell Matt, tell son. I said hi. Oh, that's nice. They said it in those accents, but still the message came across. And I heard a great phrase, which is Newbury Street. You remember Newbury Street. It's where all the shops are in downtown Boston area. And I heard a great phrase, and I attribute this to the singer from the Mighty Money Boss Stones, Dickie Barrett, announcer for Kimmel. For many, many years, someone took a footage of me walking down Newbury street while I was there and put it up. People in Boston were seeing it and saying, hey, I saw you on Newbury Street. And Dickey Barrett told my brother Luke. He was like, damn, I just saw this footage of Conan and kind of in the vein of why can't they leave him Alone, you know, and he said, you know, guy can't even shoot the noob in peace. And that was. And I was like, shoot the noob. Walk down Newbury street is shoot the noob.

[B]

Oh, that's cool.

[A]

And I thought, that is the coolest phra. And just a shout out to Boston next time. Maybe this is something they all say. I didn't know that. But my. I doff my cap to Dickie Barrett, who said, shoot the noob. Conan can't even shoot the noob without people giving him a hard time.

[B]

Do you say it now?

[A]

I say it all the time. Do you ever shoot the larch here on Larchmont? You can't. You can't. No, no, you can't.

[B]

It's not the same.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you can. Yeah, it's not the same, but shoot the noob.

[B]

The mont.

[A]

I. So Liza joined me on the trip. I started saying maybe every 20 minutes the way I do.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Hey, Liza, you want to shoot the noob? Hey, Liza, we're shooting the noob. Let's go shoot the noob. And maybe I'll find an orthotic insert.

[B]

Oh, you're awful.

[A]

I'm awful. And she got to a point where she's like, just no more shoot the noob for a while. But I love shoot the noob. So if you're in Boston or you're going to visit Boston, I want to do a public service announcement for the city that says, hey, when you're in Boston, shoot the noob.

[B]

Hey, you just did it. I think they're going to just clip that out and, like, use it for tourism.

[A]

Not without my permission. Oh, and the cost. $15 million. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I'll do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, shoot the Nate bust. Oh, it's my Boston. Hey, Boston. Shoot the noob.

[A]

That's your boss. That's your Boston. Shoot the noob.

[B]

Shoot the wicked noob.

[A]

Wicked pissa.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know how to do Boston.

[A]

No, you did it. That's the whole. It's the attitude.

[B]

The wicked noob.

[A]

What are you doing? What are you doing?

[B]

Shoot the wicked noob.

[A]

A, isn't it? Then no one goes a.

[D]

It's a pretty good Gilbert Godfrey impression.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Go, Sock, go.

[A]

Shoot the. Say, shoot the noob and then say aflac.

[B]

Aflac. Go. Let's go to Fenway. Pack and shoot the noob.

[A]

I want to get that. Maybe it's a thing they all say, but I love it. We got to think of something for Larmont. But Nothing, noob. Nothing's going to.

[B]

Let's larch it up. Go, Larch.

[D]

March the larch.

[B]

March the larch.

[A]

March the larch.

[D]

No, he just went for that. And then you said it was dorky.

[B]

You don't march anything with march. I think sounds a little dorky.

[A]

Yeah, and a little fascist.

[B]

Okay, that's true.

[A]

They must march on the larch. Yeah, I don't like it. Okay, what about lope? Lope the larch. What do you mean, lope the larch?

[B]

Lope?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You mean lope. You know, like the word lope? Loping. You know what I love? You know my favorite blade quality is when you choose to seize the mic. That's my favorite quality of yours. You lurch forward and you seize the mic as if you just cracked. E equals MC squared. Lurch the larch.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Stretch your arch on the larch. Wait, that you go for.

[B]

That's not arch it on the larch.

[D]

That's like a public service announcement.

[A]

Guys, all I know is that when I was in Boston, you know what I did? Ask me what I did.

[D]

What'd you do?

[A]

You can't do it that way. You can't say shop the noob. No, it doesn't work.

[D]

Hey, what are you going to do tonight?

[A]

Shoot the noob. Oh, he's going to shoot the noob.

[C]

Then we.

[A]

And then get a Remy dog.

[B]

I don't know what that is.

[A]

What is that?

[D]

Okay, what's a Remy dog?

[A]

It's a hot dog. Oh, Named after Jerry Remy. It's a Jerry Remy. Don't say, who's Jerry Remy? That's going to piss me off.

[D]

Okay, say it again because I need to ask it.

[B]

Who's Jerry Remy?

[A]

Second baseman, Boston Red Sox. Iconic. Also a great announcer, an inventor of the Remy dog.

[B]

He made hot dogs.

[D]

What's special about the Remy dog?

[A]

It's named after Jerry Remy, but there's nothing.

[B]

But what did he do with it?

[A]

It's infused with the essence of Jerry Remy. That's all you need to know.

[B]

Like his ashes or his.

[A]

Okay, don't. This is getting dark, and I don't like that.

[B]

Is he dead? Is he alive?

[A]

He has passed on to his great reward, but somewhere he's in heaven eating and sharing a Remy dog with Christ. Wait a minute. There's nothing.

[D]

He didn't add anything.

[A]

He probably did. This is getting into stuff that I'm sure is proprietary to the Remy family, and I don't want to get into that. Okay, listen. We are shedding listeners because we're getting way too local, way too parochial. We can't do that. We've got to open it up.

[B]

You did the shoot, the noob thing.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You did this.

[A]

I know. And I thought we got away with it. And then we went down this wormhole of Jerry, Remy, Remy Dogg, Fenway, Pac. This is all important stuff to me, but we are shedding people right now.

[D]

You guys want to talk about Whittier?

[A]

Whittier Sports? Whittier, Whittier, Whittier College.

[B]

Richard Nixon, baby.

[D]

That's where he met Pat Nixon. At the theater.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. The Rocky Cola Cafe in Up.

[D]

It's gone now.

[C]

Whittier, where the girls are prettier.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. And never shittier than in Whittier. What exactly is never show your tittier on Whittier?

[B]

Come on.

[D]

All of these were circulating in Whittier many, many years ago.

[A]

I'm sure they are. Yeah.

[B]

Show your tittier.

[A]

I'd pity her were she from Whittier.

[D]

You could say, show that you are tittier in Whittier.

[A]

Okay, how are you tittier?

[B]

Like you're titty, but you're tittier.

[A]

I'm running for this.

[B]

You have, like, four.

[A]

Guess what I'm running this through.

[B]

You have, like, four titties.

[A]

I'm running this through the latest advanced Chat GPT, and it says this is the worst segment ever on a podcast.

[B]

Okay, well, you said tittier and wittier. I'm just trying to figure out.

[A]

I'm not saying I contributed any good to this.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I did shoot the noop. All right, let's get into it.

[D]

Let's do it.

[A]

All right. My guest today is a hilarious actress, writer, and comedian who stars as principal Ava Coleman, such a funny character in the hit ABC series Abbott elementary. She is so good. I'm thrilled she's here today. Janelle James, welcome. First of all, I'm gonna describe the vibe here right now. You can maybe see it if you're watching this on video.

[C]

I feel like I'm smoking you out now.

[A]

What is this that's happening? You lit some incense?

[C]

You never know who entered the room before you. You know what I mean? And I wanted a clean slate with my new friend Conan o', Brien, so I brought some incense.

[A]

This is nice. What is the scent we're getting here?

[C]

This is Palo Santo. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. What are we getting from this scent? I'm not a connoisseur of a scent. Cleansing, cleansing.

[C]

Good energy. A little jump Off Talking Point. Ye.

[A]

Be great if that was the scent.

[C]

Jump off Talking Point.

[A]

Jump off Talking Point. For. For podcasts.

[B]

Icebreaker.

[C]

Yeah, Icebreaker.

[A]

This is hints of Icebreaker. Some tones of funny bit we could do. It does feel like a small fire broke out in the podcast studio, which is.

[C]

If anytime you want me put it out, I am.

[A]

No, I don't. I'm liking this right now.

[C]

It's going right towards you, so you probably need some. Cleansing. I was gonna say.

[A]

What does this mean? It's sensing a black hole of me.

[B]

Yeah, it's weird. There is no, like. No, it's seriously going straight to your life.

[C]

She moved it away.

[A]

It's going right to my.

[C]

That's why I moved it. And it's going right to you.

[A]

No matter where you move it, it's going to come to me because it senses a vacuum here. It senses pain.

[C]

Are you anxious today?

[A]

Am I just anxious in general? Yes.

[C]

Facts, same. That's why I walk around with incense like a weirdo.

[A]

Well, let me paint the picture.

[C]

It's still going right to it. Honing, letting spray. No, no, no.

[A]

Every time you move it, the smoke makes a beeline.

[C]

It did.

[A]

Must heal creature. Must heal creature. That is weird.

[C]

She said it's for cleansing, right? Yeah, it is. What's the cleansing over here?

[A]

It's not working yet. It's got a lot to do. You need to bring in a giant bundle of these and light them all at the same time.

[C]

I'll do the whole studio for you.

[A]

So, Janelle, I'm at this event and I practically run smack into you. And what's that?

[C]

Facts. Yeah, you did almost run right into me.

[A]

You know, I see attractive women sometimes. I just try and do the old, hey, what the heck? I sorry I bumped into you. I love you. Then you can't get me too'd. You know, it was just. I bumped into you.

[C]

It was an accident, and here I am. That shit works. Yeah, that shit works.

[A]

No, I. I ran into you. I was so happy to see you because you're very funny, and you're very funny in an original way.

[C]

Oh, I appreciate it.

[A]

And I was so happy to cross paths with you. And you were there, David. I was. And I said, I must have Janelle on the podcast. Yeah. You called me over immediately. I called you over immediately and said, can you just make this happen? And you said, well, I've. I don't think I can. You started fumfering. It's so nice to have you.

[C]

He was a real standoffish. You were nice. Yeah. He was like, I don't know. Yeah, I remember. I tried to be as possible.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, you know what's nice is Matt Corley is out today. That's not the nice part. But, boy, what a nice break.

[C]

Poor Gorley when he.

[A]

No, no, we all love Matt Gorley, but you are sitting in. In his stead, David. And you're a big fan. You're a big fan, as is Sona, as am I. So we've got. I mean, you got a packed house right here. Eduardo over there, big fan, very happy.

[C]

I feel a little lei.

[A]

Not so much because you're not in Star Wars.

[C]

Oh, yes, yes. Let's manifest. Okay.

[A]

As I said, your portrayal of Ava on Abbott elementary, it brings me a lot of happiness because I think it's very tricky thing to pull off the self involved. Maybe not villain. I'm not gonna say villain, but a.

[C]

Character for a sitcom. I'm a villain for a sitcom.

[A]

You're a villain. And so you're walking this line, but you do it beautifully and in a way where I think, this is great. This character is inept, vainglorious, has all these flaws, but you're very funny doing it. Consistently funny, and you keep hitting different notes, and I'm just very happy.

[C]

Well, thank you so much, Conan.

[A]

Really happy for you.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And, yeah, I don't know, my opinion might not mean anything, but seriously, I.

[C]

Was talking about, I don't know if you saw the WG Awards last year. And I had a joke in there where I said, what's funny about Late Night? And I said, I don't know, is Conan here? He's funny. And I got a little flack for that. I am a huge fan of yours. I'm a huge fan of yours. In your opinion.

[A]

That really made me feel, you know, I'm also. I know that your story is a great story. It really is a great. It is. You came to your success after a lot of hard work and struggle, and I love those stories. I really do. I think I just won a contest, but I think.

[C]

How'd you win?

[B]

Aw, you did.

[C]

What did you do before you won?

[A]

Yeah, well, I was a male stripper.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I was in Thunder down under, and Lorne Michaels saw me grinding it.

[C]

I knew he was into that.

[B]

Don't disparage the name of Thunder from Down Under.

[C]

Florida.

[A]

Lorne Michaels.

[B]

That too. But more importantly, Thunder from Down Under.

[A]

No, but let's just talk about the backstory a little bit. Cause you're born in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands. I am what you were. You're still being born. We're all still being born.

[C]

Hey, if you think about it, do you.

[A]

At what age do you start to think I'm funny?

[C]

Oh, shoot.

[A]

Always?

[C]

No, not till adulthood. Really? Yeah. I don't think I was a. Yeah, everybody get that class clown question or whatever.

[A]

I don't think I was not a class clown.

[C]

Yeah, I don't. I don't. I know. I was, like, always a jerk, you know, like a. Like a smart ass. Right. But you were funny.

[A]

You could make your friends funny.

[C]

I don't remember. I don't know if I'm just old. I don't remember.

[A]

Like, gets all this incense.

[C]

Facts could be. Okay, yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember till adulthood people being like, you're hilarious. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I was like a nerdy bookworm growing up. But I've always just been.

[A]

I'm sensing a kindred spirit here.

[C]

Yeah, I've just always been in adult business. I know that, like, listening to what's going on, curious about everything, and then having something to report. That was my thing, and just being, like, sarcastic with it. And I think I became funny so just people would listen to me state all my facts that I knew.

[A]

That works. It's a survival instinct.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, you move. How old are you when you moved to 16 and you moved to Maryland?

[C]

Yeah, and then I was there for a year, and then I moved to New York. Cause I loved Madonna and she had that movie.

[A]

She had that song, Come to New.

[C]

York, Come to New York. What was that? Who's that girl? I remember watching that when I was like, five or something. Like, just being obsessed with her and being obsessed with New York and was like, I'm gonna move there and just, like, be like Madonna. Just, like, bopping down the street and having a New York life. And so moved to New York, did every hustle in the book that came.

[A]

With some of the hustles. Cause, man.

[C]

I worked in a salon in the fashion industry. I worked in a law firm. I worked hosting in many restaurants. I waitressed in many restaurants. I worked at many hair salons as receptionist and, like, shampoo girl and all those things. I worked at Frick. What's the Howard Stern strip club? You know what I'm talking about?

[A]

You worked after him.

[C]

No. What is that?

[A]

Scores.

[C]

I worked at Scores as a humidor, which is a cigar girl.

[A]

Oh, so that means you. You walk around with a tray of Cigars, too.

[C]

Too. Too prudish to get naked, but I wish I did when I still had that body. But, yeah, humidor.

[A]

I was a humidor guy when I was in Thunder Down Under. Oh, God. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They wouldn't let me take my shirt off. I did once, and they. Three people went to the hospital.

[B]

You blinded them.

[A]

They were like, I see a lot of white and then blue veins.

[C]

Am I dead?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What else did I do? I started. I started many, like, home hustles. I taught sewing lessons in my house. I threw, like, parties in my house for, like, entry because I had no furniture. So I was like, what can I do with all this empty space in this apartment? I threw parties. I started a personal chef. This is when. So enterprising because I grew up, my dad had a restaurant. So I know how to cook. I don't like to anymore, but I. So I knew how to cook. And I'm just like, what skills do I have that can I turn into money? That's what New York was for me. And so I started this. This is when all the startups. Startups were going like, we work and all of that shit open. So I started doing, like, personal chef for all these, like, you know, eight. I would go in and cook lunch for them.

[A]

And I will cook your food, then wash your hair.

[C]

Whatever you need.

[A]

And offer you a cigar.

[C]

Whatever you need, baby.

[A]

I can do anything. Yeah.

[C]

That was called the joy of not cooking. I just remember that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So, yeah, many things. And in between there, got married, had a baby, and then I moved to follow the man to the Midwest, which is where I started comedy.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So the whole time that you're doing what you call hustles, just jobs, you're doing all these different jobs. You're trying everything.

[C]

Yeah. Sometimes at the same time. All at the same time.

[A]

And you are. You know, you're earning your way. Is it in the back of your head while that's all happening? I've got to get into a performing life.

[C]

No, not at all.

[A]

Not at all. Really?

[C]

Not at all.

[A]

Wow. Okay.

[C]

So my ex husband, he would say, so when I had that empty apartment, he would come over and we would, you know, imbibe, and we would get high and I don't know how else to say that. And I'd be running my mouth as I do, and he would say, you're hilarious. He's. He's the first person I remember being like, oh, you should do something with that. And I'm like, what a clown. Like, what do I Do being hilarious. It never crossed my mind. Yeah, it really. It really didn't. Performing or. I never did, like, stage play. Nothing. Nothing performance wise. Life is a performance, I will say. My dad had a. Like, a restaurant on the beach. That's where I grew up. We started as a food truck, and then it turned into a restaurant. And so our performance, me and my siblings, of which I'm the oldest of nine, we were the kids that come up to you on vacation and sell you shit. That's my first performing. Like, hey, you gotta have. Dude, are you thirsty?

[A]

You have to be overcooked. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know, like, oh, quench your thirst with this bucket of Bacardi or whatever, you know, so we were always performing, like, oh, just poor island kids, you know? You know, that kind of thing. So I've always been, like, outgoing in that way.

[A]

Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend is brought to you by Airbnb. Well, as you may have heard, I hosted my own Airbnb original experience at the Sirius XM Garage, Louisiana. It was part live podcast, part cocktail party, and part air guitar. And I gotta say, I think it was a huge success. Blay, what did you think? It was fantastic. And people learned how to be amazing air guitarists. They got an amazing podcast recording from you guys. And the best part is they all got to say how they feel about being your friend for the first time ever. So that was incredibly fun. Also, if you told me when I was 20 years old that I would get to interview Spinal Tap, oh, man, my eyes would have melted, you know, like marshmallows in a flame. I just can't believe it. That was insane. Yeah, so it was a really, really fun Airbnb experience. And, Sona, did you have a good time?

[B]

It was really cool. It was a really cool night, for sure.

[A]

Very happy to do this with Airbnb, because I am not just someone who talks about Airbnb. I'm a satisfied customer. I've used Airbnb again in San Francisco for outside lands. Had a blast.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

My daughter and I stayed there, found a place, and it really felt like our home, which was very nice.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

So if you want to hear more about my Airbnb original experience, listen or watch the September 15 episode on YouTube. I think you'll have a good time. Sometimes life is better unscripted. And that's true of travel. Fo show. St. Pete Clearwater, on Florida's Gulf coast near Tampa is a perfect location to plan a spontaneous trip where you can improvise and discover as you go, imagine walking on that powder soft white sands. They only got that at St. Pete Clearwater, Florida. Swim in Gulf waters that are crystal clear. Gotta go to St. Pete Clearwater. Like to shop. You can wander through indie shops and galleries. You gotta eat at some point, right? Guess what? The restaurant scene in St. Pierre Clearwater is unbelievable. Plenty of mom and pop seafood restaurants, waterfront dining, rooftop bars. Top chefs. Want something a little more adventurous? Hop on a boat tour to see wild dolphins and seabirds. Sometimes at the same time. Sometimes the wild dolphin has a seabird on its head and it's like, check me out. And the bird's like, yeah, I'm on his head. And the dolphin's like, yeah, he's on top of me. And we're like, we get it. You didn't have to say any of that. And by the way you guys talk, don't you love having the sun on your face and the wind in your hair? This is a great time to take a break from your everyday in beautiful St. Pete Clearwater, Florida. Head to visit SPC.com just start planning your trip today. Sona, do you remember when you redid Blay's apartment?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Using Ashley.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have some ideas for the office now?

[B]

Yeah. My first idea was to change your office. No offense, I don't think it's necessary. So I was thinking because my boys visit like a couple times a year. A few times a year.

[A]

I love it when. When your guys come over. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So I thought we would change your office to like a kid's room.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So I think I have some ideas. I thought I would put in this piperton twin tent complete bed in the office.

[A]

Oh, that looks. Actually, I would have loved that as a kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So my office no longer my office. It's more or less a kid's room.

[B]

Charlie and Mikey's room for Charlie and Mike.

[C]

So.

[B]

And then. But we'll keep your desk in the corner. It's fine.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And then the next thing I thought was unnecessary was your edit bay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where you edit your.

[A]

Where we do all the editing for the travel show.

[B]

Yeah. Like, is it that necessary? So I thought it would change it into like a meditation yoga room. So we're putting in this TV stand there so that people can just kind of hang out.

[A]

Because when you do meditation.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to make sure that the Summer I turn pretty is on in the background.

[B]

Guided meditation. It's very meditative. A cute little couch.

[A]

Watching television is Sona's form of guided meditation. This stuff Is really nice that you've picked out. Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal and modern trends. They do a very nice job of walking that line.

[B]

They do.

[A]

Plus, Ashley provides fast, reliable white glove delivery right to your door. I don't think I've ever had white glove delivery.

[C]

It's nice.

[A]

Well, visit your local Ashley store or head to Ashley.com to find your style. So you're in the Midwest and. And you decide you'll go to an open mic night. What did you do?

[C]

Yep. Somebody handed me a flyer in the grocery store and I came home, I put it on the table, and my ex husband said, what's that? And I was like, some guy handed it to me and he was like, you should go. Like. Cause I went there for him. He was going to school and so I hadn't really been leaving the house or anything. So he was like, you should go. Go outside. And I went and I watched it. It was my first time seeing a comedy open mic. I had no idea, like, how comedians start or. Or anything like that or that that happens. And I was laughing. So they wanted me to come back. They were like, come back next week. And by the way, you can do some time. You could do four minutes if you want. Next week. And I was like, what does that mean? They told me, you write your material, you can do four minutes. And so that's what I did. I came back the next week, I did four minutes. I got my first laugh. I was like, this is it. I loved it. And I just started doing it every week. Started hanging out with those dudes, like five white boys. We started traveling around. Yeah, not in a van. What were we in a Volvo Station Wago. Going to like the different clubs around.

[A]

And did you work out a set or did you have a lot of improvise improvisation in your set?

[C]

No, no improv. I was really like. So my. At that time, my dad was dying, and I think a lot of comedians start from some traumatic, you know, shit. And so I was just kind of working that out. So my first 10 minutes or whatever that I built up was about my dad dying. And. But then also, like a lot of starting comedians, I started getting like book gigs. Like, Yeah, I got 30 minutes, you know, that kind of thing. And so I had to improvise in that way. But I don't think I was good, but I was doing it. So. Yeah. And then, yeah, my home club is the Jukebox Comedy club in Peoria. I started hanging out there. That's the home of Richard Pryor. If you don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's where I met, like, all the traveling comedians. And the first person to take me on the road was Todd Berry, who saw me there and.

[A]

Love Todd Berry.

[C]

Yeah. And then where I was was a college town, so all the big comics would come through. And so Todd then told Rob Delaney I was gonna open for Rob Delaney. Todd told him, like, make sure you watch your opener. And I remember, like, doing my set and Rob Delaney's like, at the back of the room with his arms crossed. And then he was like, hey, do you want a tour with me? So I went with him and he was like, huge on Twitter then. And so I got to, like, two years in duties, sold out 3,000, you know, seat back to back shows with him. And then Hannibal, I just started going with different people. And so by the time I got back to New York, Todd had said, hey, if you're ever in New York, look me up. And I. I showed up and I was like, remember you said. He was like, no, I.

[A]

No, man. No, man. Oh, no. Hey, man. Hey, man. No, man.

[C]

But Cinch is stalking me. Come to my birthday party. And that's where I met Eugene Mirman. And then I started hanging out with them and Michelle and all those people.

[A]

So, yeah, there's this. I think it's a common story. I can certainly relate to it. You spend your early years in what feels like the wilderness, and you're wandering around, you don't think anyone's like you. And then you get into a certain little, I don't know, tide pool or something. You meet one person, and then that seems to be the reality for a little bit. And then you meet one other person, another person, and suddenly you're wired into this community, and it's a beautiful thing.

[C]

I was like, whoa. Comedians are, you know, I don't know about cool, but, yeah, like.

[A]

Let me see. Todd Berry, Eugene Mirman, as cool as.

[C]

Can be, but, like, laughing and hanging out. The extended adolescence, you know, I luckily came in when everybody was on the wagon, so I missed all the alcoholism and drug.

[A]

There's still time.

[C]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[A]

But, you know, that's interesting because everyone you've mentioned is really funny. Hannibal, all these people you're mentioning are unique, funny people. And so you start. It's also a school because you can watch other people and you can understand different rhythms. And I always think it's the same thing as music, and you're just around.

[C]

I mean, I always say, after I met Todd, I did Todd Berry for, like, a year. Very stoic, didn't move around. And he taught me a lot about the road. How to get paid, make sure you're getting paid. Like, those two things are the most important.

[A]

I've worked with Todd, and he is very good at getting paid. Hey, man.

[C]

Hey, man.

[A]

Yeah, Todd, you haven't done it yet. Hey, man.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, don't get fucked over by these clubs. And, yeah, I learned stuff from everyone. And so, yeah, I feel like I have a. It was the best entry into this, you know, business for me. Somebody who was already an adult, you know, and. And super focused. Cause around that time, I missed. Started missing, like, a lot of shit with my kids, like, as entertainers do. And so I was very focused. Cause I was like, this has to be worth it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you didn't. You weren't thinking about Abbott Elementary. You weren't thinking about the character of Ava. This was something that came to you, and you didn't even jump at it right away. No.

[C]

So I got that audition during the pandemic. I always thought. So I hadn't really thought about acting. My whole goal at that time was, I want to be Chris Rock. I had just come. My last tour was touring with Chris, and I was like, this is amazing. You know? And so I was like, this is my goal. And so I would get auditions for my agents, and I would just kind of fuck around with them, like, especially if I thought it was stupid or whatever. I wasn't ever, like, pressed to get into the. Get on. On screen. I was like, if it. If it happens, it will. And then I always thought one of my friends would get a show and bring me over, like Adam Sandler does or whatever. So when I got that script, I really liked it, which is rare, you know, to read a pollen. Like, oh, shit, this is amazing. And so I remember I wrote Quinta on Twitter, and I was just like, your pilot is so good. I know how hard that is to do. I've been trying to write one myself and failing. And she was like, thanks. I said, I think I'm gonna audition for Ava. And she said, I didn't know you act. And I was like, I don't know if I do, but I'm gonna.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I'll try.

[A]

I love how honest you are. You're not talking. You're not selling yourself or talking your way into it. You're saying, oh, I have no idea.

[C]

I was really just trying to compliment. I was really impressed. I was like, I'm Laughing out loud. I could totally see this. And I remember telling my agent, like, even if I don't get this, this is going to go. It's going to go with or without me. And it was in the middle of the pandemic, so I wasn't. I thought we were going to die. I wasn't really trying to do much of anything, truly. So I had the audition, like, in my hands for, like, six weeks. And the deadline passed. I kept asking for extensions, and I just. I didn't have the motivation. I was depressed. I was depressed. And then finally my agent was like, are you sure? Like, I really think, you know, I was like, fine. I had to, like, pull out all the. I couldn't find my ring lights. I had my son, like, holding a floor lamp towards me, you know, for lighting. And then I just. Yeah, I sent in the self tape, and then I got a call back. So, yeah, that's how it happens. And then I did. For subsequent, like, Zoom auditions, the highest.

[A]

Compliment you can pay someone is. I cannot imagine that character being someone else.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

In any alternate universe, you're still playing that part.

[C]

Thank you. I mean, that's how I feel. That's how I feel like it's meant to be. Because again, I waited so long. Everyone had already auditioned. It kind of worked out for me in that they were still looking for the person. It was like, oh, this latecomer. And then I found out Quinta, once I did my initial, she just kept sending me up. They were like, well, can we get a name? Who else do you have? She was like, it's this person. It's this. So she kept. So it kind of worked out that I waited. And, yeah, I do totally feel like it's meant to be, which is how I like everything in my life to work. Well, I don't wanna.

[A]

The fact that you spent anything. Yeah, but that's the thing, too, is that I feel like you probably, after all these experiences you've had, not just as a standup, but all these experiences you had, just trying to make your way in the world, that all. None of that's wasted. That all goes into your ability to look at this character and say, here's what I would do with this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause.

[C]

And also empathize. What's the word? Is it empathize? I don't know if it's. But, yeah, she's a hustler at the end of the day. Like, that's really what I took out of her ethos. Like, she has same thing, like, Me, multiple businesses going. Even though she's a principal.

[A]

Why does she own a party bus?

[C]

Do we know she has a thriving TikTok shop? You know, she has a rotating closet in her. You know, she's doing everything.

[A]

Also, when she unveils the sign that she spends thousands of dollars for a. For a public school that's very much in need of funding, you spent it on a sign that you're on.

[C]

You know, Inspiring.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is really what I was trying to.

[A]

That's the word I wrote down right.

[C]

Here that she was trying to do. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[A]

Because I don't know anything.

[C]

Cause what is $1,000 when you need millions is how I.

[A]

But, you know, the. I think empathize is the right word because you're saying these characters don't work if you also don't like them. And the fact is, if you just looked at this, at the character of Ava on paper, I don't know that you would see anything that you would like. But your portrayal of her, I see a lot of qualities. She is fearless. She completely believes her own bullshit. My favorite characters in comedy are deluded, egotistical, delusional. To me, it's.

[C]

That's the entertainment industry, baby.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You gotta be delusional.

[A]

People that. I mean, to me, it goes back to Peter Seller as Clouseau or Don Knotts as Barney Feist. People that don't have the skills, they don't really have any of the backing that they need. They completely believe in themselves 100%.

[C]

I think that's the difference between me and her. Like, she has, like, almost unearned confidence.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

You know, and I think my. Just the coming up in standup, it's. And how I. I mean, them shows I did in the Midwest were horrible. You know, I'm doing, like, VFWs with, like, a full house of white men just staring at me with their arms crossed, like, so nothing. Once I got to Hollywood and acting is scary anymore, you know, And I also had the backing of, like, the grace. Like, I've had Chris Rock tell me, like, yo, you the real deal? Like. Yeah. So these are. These are the things that are taking. Giving me the confidence to do, you know, this character, which is, you know, my first role.

[A]

So, yeah, it's kind of unbelievable, but I. But it makes sense to me because early on, I always insisted what I had was my mind. And I thought, okay, I can develop these other things, but I want to be in control. I don't want to go around and say, I'm a blank slate. Someone please cast me. I knew that I had to form this Conan personality. This Conan thing. I kind of knew what it was, and I just kept doubling down on it. And I think your story is very inspirational to me because I see you finding yourself and you get to.

[C]

You make me cry. I swear to God.

[A]

Again, I'm gonna give the credit to the tie stick you brought. Not only are you gonna cry, I'm gonna cry and vomit.

[C]

Just as mustache. Just as mo guys again. Do you need me to put it?

[A]

No, I love it. It is the.

[C]

I can't tell when you being.

[B]

No, but it's usually not serious.

[A]

I know I've never said a serious.

[C]

Thing in my life, so that's what I'm saying. Him being. I love it could mean anything.

[A]

No, no, no, but. Excuse me just one minute. No, but you. You took control. I think that has informed everything you've done. Is you deciding, no, I'm not gonna chase anything. I'm going to develop.

[C]

I mean, what I would think was my worst nightmare would be to be, quote, unquote, trapped in a character. You know, like, you're saying you developed your own thing, so. And I'm. And as many standups are, it's like, I'm a thing unto myself. Like, I am me. You know, that thing. So then to come to this play, this character who's become her own thing, really, like, fucked my head up for the first couple seasons. And now I'm like, I have to come back to. I like this person. I think she's interesting.

[A]

How did it screw you up a little bit?

[C]

People saying that I'm that person. I see that type of thing, which I've now intellectualized as, oh, that's how well I'm doing that. People think that I am. Right.

[A]

So people meeting you and thinking you're a deluded, egotistical narcissist. Yeah, yeah, I get that, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You'Re like that Conan guy. No, that's my character.

[C]

But also having. Having to, like, realize. Having to realize that they admire it, like, yeah, we're saying it as, like, a negative. And they're like, I love that you're this deluded, narcissistic.

[A]

Also. I always think comedy writers. I know in my career, when I was on the Simpsons, I only wanted to write for Mr. Burns. I only wanted to write the villain. The villain. It was so much fun that they had to tell me, you can't pitch another Mr. Burns story. All your ideas are about Mr. Bur. Because he's you know, he can be infinitely evil. He can have vast amounts of money. He can have robots in the basement. It's this whole world. And it's the same thing with Ava, where she can Anything.

[C]

She's almost a cartoon.

[A]

Yeah. You can come up with all kinds of stuff for her. The hello sign that she aims towards herself.

[C]

I love it. And I did that to make myself laugh. The quinta was like, leave it. You know, so.

[A]

Right. Because someone tried to change it. Someone tried to say, like, a. I did it.

[C]

Like, hate. Isn't that funny? Like, it's facing me. And then I was like, all right, let me put it back. And she was like, no, put it back. That's hilarious. You know, so it's like, yeah. No greeting for the outsiders. It's for me.

[A]

It's you saying hello to yourself.

[C]

To myself.

[A]

And explaining who you are.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. It's such a little touch. I love it. And I love that it stuck. And people. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But that becomes catnip for writers because it's. I think one of the reasons your character just sort of took on a life of its own is there's no end to it. People can have a lot of fun saying, oh, wait, I just thought of something that Ava could be doing. I mean, people watching the show, and I'm.

[C]

That. So that goes back to me being like, oh, no, I'm stuck in this character. I'm really not. Cause she can do anything. She can do anything. More than any of the other characters who are very, like. They are their, you know, ethos in their character. Ava can switch up at any time, and it won't be a. It won't be a surprise. You're waiting for the switch up.

[A]

You know, Were you happy when your former boyfriend was revealed to be.

[C]

Oh, Iguodala? Is that what you're talking about?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Was I happy? No.

[A]

I mean, it's just.

[C]

So he's hot. Sure. Quinta actually ran that by me. What do you think about this guy? And I liked that he was married. Cause I was like, oh, less instance for sexual harassment. And I was like, oh, a family man who's also a tall, attractive ball player. Who wouldn't want that in their lore? That's her lore that she only.

[A]

Which you can keep adding to. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, she founded the roots. I don't know if you've heard about.

[B]

And, like, no one believed that you knew Questlove. And then you showed up.

[C]

I don't know how many times I gotta bring it to these motherfuckers like, that's what I like about her. She's like. She says things, and then it turns out to be true.

[A]

Turns out to be true. That reminds me so much of. I grew up in Boston, and Red Sox, of course, are everything. And the star pitcher was this guy Louis Tiant. And we had this. I gotta be careful here, so I don't get anyone in trouble. I had a teacher who will go unnamed, who was just a character and was always spinning stories about hanging out with Fidel Castro in Cuba and escaping Cuba and being shot at and swimming across the ocean to get to America. You just thought, nothing he's saying is true. And he used to talk about how his good friend was Louis the. Who was the biggest star in Boston. We thought, bullshit. You know what, man? And one day, we're all having class. We're on the first floor, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. And a hand is rapping on the window, and it's wearing a giant pennant. Ring. No. And we look over, and it's Louis Tiant banging on this teacher's window. And he goes like, hey, guys, I gotta go outside and talk to El Tiante. And goes outside. And suddenly I realized he is friends with Castro.

[C]

Everything else is true.

[A]

Everything is true, but it's the same.

[C]

And now he's a teacher, and it's just like, yeah, I'm like this character. Another reason I was mad about the character being characterized with this character is like. I'm like, this is the least interesting thing about me, you know, is playing this part. So I had to, like, get over that and realize that that means I'm doing a good job. Yeah, that comedian ego shit.

[A]

I like the part. Now you're very well known. It's a hit show. Your character really pops. Do you like being recognized? And how do you handle that? Because you're not someone who was 3 years old saying, I've got to be recognized. That wasn't you. So how do you do it?

[C]

Like, again, I had a very rough first couple seasons just wrapping my head around all of this, you know, and because you said it wasn't anything I ever, like, actively pursued. And then comedians are like. Especially standups. We're like contrary loners. You know what I mean? And so to. And then to have people think that I'm this character, which I know comes with a performance, like, that's how we're different, in that she wants to be famous. And so people approach me as like, this must be great for you, that I'm recognizing you, because that's what you want. Cause you're that character. So that was hard for me. And so now I've gotten better because I just stay in the house.

[A]

House. What a healthy approach. I saw a therapist and the therapist said, don't leave the house.

[C]

Everything's better. No, no, it's been. It's been wild. I do have. Yeah. Therapist. I have two now.

[A]

They just talk to each other now.

[C]

Yeah. Like, oh, what's going on with this broad? Yeah. And then I. And then I. I don't want to feel because then people take that as ungrateful because people think that that's. Or you wanted fame. I'm like, I just wanted money and to have fun, not to have to perform every time I leave the house. Which it does feel like a performance. Like, even when people. I'm glad that I'm a villain that people like to see. That's one thing, you know. So everybody's approaching me with, like, happiness and joy, but that's still like so much energy output from me when I'm just trying to go get some dog food or something.

[A]

I hope you have a dog.

[C]

Going to say, all the actresses.

[A]

Good. Have you tried it?

[C]

All the actresses on a dog food diet.

[A]

Now that gets out. And everyone's eating dog food. It works.

[C]

OIC who?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you on dog food?

[C]

Are you on dog food?

[A]

All your nutrients found Alpo in your garbage can.

[C]

Do you know, you deal with. You've been doing that forever.

[A]

I mean, I know, I know it's.

[C]

We ran into each other because I was running up on you, you know, so I. How do you feel about it? I was like, that's Tony o'.

[A]

Brien. I'm very happy that you came running up on me. That didn't happen a lot before I got famous. Women weren't running up on me. And so I say yes to fame. Well, I have two good witnesses here that will tell you because they're with me all the time, Sona and David. And they see me out in the real world. And I learned a long time ago there's two types. There's someone like a Steve Martin, who I think is just absolutely brilliant. Comedian, legend, icon. I mean, he's up there in the Mount Rushmore of funny people. And he's very reserved and quiet and kind of shy out in public. And I think a lot of his career has been people not understanding that crazy guy with the arrow through his head. I saw him. I'll go up to him and I'll give him that energy. Do something. Wacky yeah. And you know, exactly. And it's like they're coming across a very shy art history professor, and they're confused.

[B]

What a jerk.

[A]

Yeah. And then there are people like myself, love it. Who are me all the time, to the point where it's probably an illness. I mean, I'm just drive off of it. I just like to try. And I do the same stuff with the waiter or the person who's selling me the insole for my shoe. I'll do the same thing for them that I would do with you here. It's no difference.

[C]

I mean, it depends for me, if I'm with someone that I think that I feel safe with. I love it. I love talking to people. I'm a comedian. I want to know, what's your deal? What do you do? How do you. And I always say, that's what this is. This experience has taken from me is talking to strangers. Really? Because what I'm looking for now is people who don't recognize me. And then I'll have a conversation with them, and I'm like. I leave so, like, energized. Cause I do like people. And then right before I step away, they'll be like, by the way, I love you on the. And I'm like, oh, no. Did I tell that person where I live?

[A]

You know?

[C]

Cause that's how I talk to. I'm like, yeah, I just moved to Da da da. Where do you eat? I love this restaurant. And we'll have a great thing. And I'll be like, wow, made a new friend. And then I think I already know you. That's what I don't like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And I've also noticed that I will also be more open now. I'm gonna tell people how to fucking approach me. But if they come up and they're like, I love the show. I'm like, thank you so much. I'll do the whole thing. But I'm wary of it. But if they say, I've been following you since standup, I know you're a Netflix special, then I feel like, oh, you know me.

[A]

They know you.

[C]

And then I'm like, what's up, homie? You know what I mean? So it just depends.

[A]

I came to your fake restaurant. Exact.

[C]

Exactly. So it's. I'm working on it.

[B]

I smoked some of your cigars.

[C]

Hey, I saw your titties in the 90s.

[A]

What?

[C]

What's up, old friend? Me and Stern.

[A]

That's where I know you. That's where I know you.

[C]

The year is 20th 2008. Me and my friend Stern. And here you come. Cigars and titties. I'm like, yeah, you know the real Janell. What's up, friends?

[A]

How has your family reacted to all this?

[C]

Oh, my God. Well, my mom just came around. Cause she's.

[A]

Did she love it?

[B]

She's.

[C]

My mom is very shy. I am also. And I didn't realize this. I am also kind of surprisingly shy. Yeah. And so my mom is very shy. And so she, for the first couple seasons, wasn't even telling anyone. And then she said, I put a picture of you on my desk. And people keep stopping by, like, what is it? And she's like, that's my daughter. And they're like, what? She's like, you know your daughter this whole time, or whatever. So now she's kind of leaning in. And also, I'm trying to get her used to the fact that I have money and that she can accept things from me. That's been a big deal and that she can have nice things. That's something I had to work through. Like, oh, I have money. So it's been so many things all at once. My kids don't watch the show. They're cool.

[A]

I think that's good. I think it's good. Yeah.

[C]

You know, my oldest son says it's weird to see me like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He's like, what is that voice you're doing? And who is that? But he's like, wow. You're like. I took him just recently to, like, a talk I did at a. At a college, and just him seeing how people react to me, which people cry when they meet, and I'm always like, I'm not mj. Like, it's. It's cool. I'm just a lady. But people cry and, like, shake. And my son was like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, you're famous. And I was like, yeah, yeah, this shit is wild. And that was just a couple weeks ago. And that's, like, the first real conversation we've had about. Because I try to tell them, but it's not till you're my mom, too. I took her to New York. We went to Broadway. People were chasing us. My mom heard. She's so tiny with her little legs running, and she was so anxious, and she's just like, what the fuck? Like, they don't. It's been crazy for all of us. But, yeah, again, I. I just say in the house, yeah, she's a hologram right now. I'm beaming in.

[A]

We assembled the studio in the mountain.

[C]

I'm like, oh, why do celebrities.

[A]

Good job, Eduardo. Thanks. Yeah.

[C]

Why do celebrities live in the mountains? I know.

[A]

Now you know, it's so nice to see someone's work from afar. Just see their work and admire them and then meet them.

[C]

Conan o' Brien just said that about that.

[A]

No, no, but what I'm saying is admire them and then meet them, and they're just who you would want them to be, which is, you are.

[C]

I am.

[A]

You are yourself, and there's no changing that. And so many people would have been warped, bent, twisted, stretched by this.

[C]

I wish I could lean in, though. I wish I could be like, yes. I don't know. That's what Ava would do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'd be out as her.

[A]

But you know what?

[C]

Even so much money on the table, I can perform as her. Welcome to the Ava extravagance. I could probably have a fucking Vegas show.

[A]

All kinds of time. Don't say no to it. Don't say no to it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know, there's always time for that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And in fact, it's not time for that right now. It's time for you to see this character through. Now, some people. People are speculating because your character got fired.

[C]

Facts for a couple hours.

[A]

Yeah. At most. We would all panicked when that happened. I didn't think you would be.

[C]

I was like, oh, I could go back on the road. I wonder what Chris is doing. Like, I was, all right. Oh, my God. I was like, I. That's the benefit of having multiple skills. Like, and, I mean, I've quit jobs for any reason before. Again, I'm always on the hustle. I'm like, okay, well, if you think that's the best thing for the show, for me to be off of it, I agree with you, Quinta. You're a fucking genius. Thank you so much for the opportunity. She's like, no, you'll be back the next episode. I was like, oh, I don't even get some days off.

[A]

Can't your character be in a coma? Can't Ava be in a coma? And you still get paid just as much.

[C]

How many days can I go to Mexico? What's going on? No, I was back the next episode, but that was very thrilling for me because people still come up to me now. So that happened last season, months ago, and people still come up to me now, like, let me know when you're back on the show so I can start watching again. And I'm like, dude, I was on the next episode. Yeah. People were like, I don't watch it anymore. They fired you? Why would they do that? So that was like gratifying for me. Like, oh, wow. I'm a thing.

[A]

Yeah. Yes, you are a thing.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Absolute delight. Thank you for that. To get to meet you, get to know you.

[C]

I told you when I met you I wanted to do time on your show. And then I was too precious about my little five minute set. And then all of a sudden you weren't there.

[A]

Well, here we are. This is.

[C]

I mean, who knows what I was gonna say back then. My dad is dead.

[A]

Killing.

[C]

Look at me. Crushing. See, still got it.

[A]

Still got it. I'm sorry. It's just such a funny line. My dad is dead. It just kills every time.

[C]

That was probably my set back then.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's just, you know, one of the things that makes me really happy. This has been a real gift to me is this podcast format which was invented by people long before me. And I just came along and it fits me like a glove because what I really wanna do.

[C]

Love your travel series as well.

[A]

Oh, thank you so much.

[C]

You're the best at talking to people. Anyway, I love you. Thank you so much.

[A]

But what I love to do is in the old days it would have been you. Yeah. It would have been you doing your set and me coming over and thanking you and us standing together for us.

[C]

Ye came from the desk and shaking my head and.

[A]

Yeah. And then. Good night. We'll be right back. Janelle James. Everybody credits this to me is more meaningful this because we really get to talk about some stuff.

[C]

I mean, how many listeners you got on this?

[A]

So not a lot.

[C]

Okay, great.

[A]

I don't do numbers, but I'll be.

[C]

The judge of meetings.

[A]

There was a guy who refused to be here today.

[C]

It's okay. I was doing a bit. I was doing a bit like how meaningful is it? We shall see. Good. Quantify will my followers.

[A]

A lot. We have a lot of people listening and they're all the greatest people ever.

[C]

You are your fan base. I always say that.

[A]

Yeah. Janelle, you are just a delight and I do hope you come back sometime, anytime. And I hope we are friends for real because that would be seriously. That'd be a nice thing for me. You would up my friend.

[C]

I feel like everybody says that, that and then I'm in your backyard and you're like, no, you don't.

[A]

I really don't have a lot of friends and I'd be so happy to. I'll come to your house and I'll hang out I just got a pool. What's that?

[C]

I just got a pool.

[A]

What's the shape of the pool? Is it kidney shaped?

[C]

Nope. It is.

[B]

Oh, is it kidney shaped?

[C]

It's bulbous. It's more squash shaped.

[B]

Is it kidney?

[A]

The mind wanders. I'm here for your bulbous pool, Janelle.

[C]

Welcome is what I will say.

[B]

Oh, my God. The way you just invited yourself.

[A]

I'm gonna ring your bell here for bulbous pool.

[C]

Who is that?

[A]

I don't know. I can't see, but I think it's Conan McBride.

[C]

I'm gonna say, here's your incense. Please cleanse yourself before you enter and let's have a great time.

[A]

Thank you so much for being here.

[C]

I appreciate it. Thank you. I mean, I've had to. This was so great. Oh, great and easy. Love it.

[A]

We all win. And my closest.

[C]

Thank you, guys.

[A]

You know what? I'm gonna go home and my wife's gonna say, who are you cheating on, Cath? You smell like Par Simmons. Being diagnosed with leukemia, lymphoma, myeloma, or one of over 100 other types of blood cancer make people want more time to do things they love. That means more time to be grandparents, movie buffs, artists, athletes, musicians, Unique. Name it. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is now Blood Cancer United, the world's leading organization focused solely on blood cancer research, support and advocacy. First founded in 1949, they are the largest nonprofit funder of blood cancer research and have helped pioneer treatments for adults and children alike, as well as advancing policies to help enable access to care for all. Blood Cancer United does the most most for more people with blood cancer. So people with blood cancer can do more of whatever they want. Learn more and [e-mail] as a T Mobile member, you can take the perks with you because you're traveling with magenta status.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

I love saying it.

[B]

I know I could tell.

[A]

Ask me my status.

[B]

Hey, Conan, what's your status?

[A]

Magenta status. It starts the moment you take off with free in flight Wi Fi so you can stream your favorite show on the go. Plus you're covered with 15 gigabytes of high speed data in over 215 countries and destinations with experience beyond plan.

[B]

That's cool, man.

[A]

This magenta status sounds amazing. Blay, tell me. I think you get magenta status. What's it entail? What's included in magenta status? Yeah, I have T mobile. I have had T mobile for a long time. I love it. And you know when we went to Thailand, I got great coverage and great high school speed data, which means that I could. I hear it's up to 15 gigabytes. That's. That's. How did you know? That's the word on the street. Wow. I hear people going 15 gigabytes. Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah, but it was great. I was connected and it really helped. Well, this sounds great. Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com travel today. Qualifying Plan required. WI fi where available on select US Airlines. Terms and conditions apply.

[D]

Let's do a review. The reviewers.

[A]

I like it. I like to keep my finger on the pulse of what the podcasting listeners believe feel.

[D]

That's right. This is where we go to Apple Podcasts and we take a five star review.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Not hard to find.

[A]

Hey, it's nice. Okay, so you're weeding out all the no star reviews?

[B]

Yeah, I don't think you can give no stars. You have to do one.

[A]

I'll find a way to your own podcast. Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna load up our. Our comment section with no star. All right.

[D]

And we read it and we review it. Or if there's a question, we'll answer it.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

This is from Annalise 0912. The title is Best podcast ever.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah, I listened to this all day at school. I have absolutely no idea what's going on in any of my classes, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. The bad thing about listening to this at school, though, is that I can't laugh out loud. And believe me, I really want to. Want to. Seriously, if you look over at me while I'm listening, you would see tears streaming down my face. Me quivering and shaking with laughter and my face as red as a tomato. I'll often at times have to go to the bathroom and I'll sit there and just laugh. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a big creep, but I could care less because Conan is so funny. Also, Sona and Matt, pure gold. I am only 16 years old, so I love getting to know guests that I have never heard of. I think that y' all should make a Team Coco iPhone app. You could have full episodes of all Conan shows, not just the clips like YouTube, remotes, podcasts, and any Team Coco related. My screen time would be off the charts if y' all do that. Anyways, love the podcast and love Conan.

[A]

First of all, I love Annaliese 0912 and thank you so much. What a great comment. And I. I Mean, Adam, you can get involved in this. Why aren't we an app? Why aren't we an app?

[C]

I think her.

[A]

The main ask I heard out of.

[D]

That is that she wants the full episodes.

[A]

And my guess is that this review.

[D]

Was written before we started releasing full episodes.

[A]

So we're doing what she wants and. And not. You don't have to go to an app. You go to YouTube where everyone has access to.

[D]

This was a year ago.

[A]

Yeah, so. So I think it's. That's how long she's 17 and despises us. Oh, no. And that's how far back I had.

[D]

To go to find a five star review.

[A]

The part of my brain that determines what's of quality developed in the last year. No, it's really nice. I'm gonna. I usually push aside compliments, but we just have to take this. It's so nice.

[D]

Are you worried though, that she's in high school and she's listening to this during class, you know?

[A]

No, because I remember in high school learning nothing that was of use to me. And I'm just. Come on, when was the last time you used any of your math skills? Sona? You still walk around with an abacus. Graduated high school. Exactly. I know.

[B]

I used to write disco rules on all the. On the tables I sat.

[A]

Did you really? I don't know why, but disco didn't rule when you were in high school.

[B]

I think it was just me being like silly and ironic and I would just be like, disco rules. Because I didn't think it ruled. But I also. Maybe I did go through a bit of a disco phase. It's a fun genre. I like disco, but I think that what I'm excited about is she's young. Yeah, I know young people.

[C]

I. I really want them to like me.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Do you guys ever feel that. That way or is it just me?

[D]

He does.

[A]

I teach young people to assist me, help me up if I fall in, guide me to the part of the iPhone that I can use. You know, I mean, that's. I'm mostly looking to young people for. I actually, I will say this. This is honest. I love the enthusiasm of young people. I really do like that. And when young people are happy, I'm happy. Happy. It's a weird. I don't know if that's weird to say, but I am.

[B]

I think that because I tried to think I was hip for a while and then now I've completely lost touch with 16 year olds where I don't know what they're interested in. And I think that when they like something that I'm involved in, it makes me feel good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why not? I like this. I like this very much. And I have to say, when I'm cruising around, not cruising, what was. There was a time in the late 70s, early 80s when I was cruising. It was I. After the disco Alucino movie, Cruising came out and I didn't understand what it was about.

[B]

Don't even know what that meant.

[A]

I just thought it meant having a nice walk.

[B]

Did he cruise?

[A]

Yes, he certainly did.

[D]

Undercover cop that went in underground in the gay scene to solve a murder.

[B]

Oh, cruising like that.

[A]

Yeah. I didn't know what it was. So I wore the same outfit that Al Pacino wore in Cruising, which was all leather and a leather cap. And I would go and I would yell, I'm cruising around. And I'd walk around. I didn't know what it meant, but boy, were certain people were very friendly to me. Yeah. But anyway. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. What's important is just walking around. A lot of young people say they enjoy this silliness, so that's nice.

[D]

I wonder what a youngest listener is that finds it on their own, not that their parents listen.

[A]

It would be in utero, I think sometimes. Yeah. There are obstetricians that say, you should be. There's a way you can just put the podcast up to your belly and a child, as it's forming, a fetus can be listening to this nonsense.

[D]

Can you imagine that if a child. Child is formed with only this as its influence?

[A]

Yeah. It comes out and it's just. It wants to immediately buy all the products we mentioned in the ads.

[D]

That's dark.

[B]

What qualities does it take from us? I think it's loud, it's needy.

[A]

I don't think that's my one quality. Well, we're talking dominant qualities.

[C]

I know.

[A]

What is your dominant quality that I must dominate.

[B]

Oh, what are you gonna dominate?

[A]

This conversation.

[B]

And then you can say, I don't want to say nerdy.

[D]

I knew you were going to.

[B]

But you knew that. Then why did you make me say you knew? Why didn't you just say, I'm not.

[D]

Going to take your idea and do it for you?

[A]

When a baby's born wearing a straw boater, I'm wearing a T shirt that says Wittier rocks. I'm more worried about the mother's birth process.

[D]

With a straw boater on that baby's.

[A]

Head, it gets slightly knocked askew, but after that it's fine. Is it A boy or a girl? I don't know, but it's wearing a straw boater and it wants to get to the Rose bowl swap meet immediately.

[D]

That does come up a lot. I've literally never once been to the Rose bowl flea market.

[A]

I've never been there. But you sit in the. You sit just outside the Rose bowl and wish you could. They won't let me in.

[B]

Yeah, you're blacklisted because they're too scared.

[D]

I've been to the Pasadena City College.

[A]

College one, though.

[C]

It's pretty good.

[A]

That one's really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, he was escorted out. He's not allowed back to the Rose bowl anymore. Why? He shoplifted a loot. You know what?

[D]

That's not true. Because I'm going there this weekend to see Oasis.

[B]

Me, too. You are? Saturday?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Me too. What are you doing? Are you coming?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I do like Oasis, though. Yeah, those Gallagher. Those Gallagher fellas.

[D]

It's a different Gallagher than the one you're thinking of with the sledgehammer.

[A]

Peter Gallagher. Peter Gallagher. I honestly thought that Peter Gallagher was one of the Gallagher brothers because he's got the eyebrows.

[C]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

You know, and they won't tour with him because they really hate him. Yeah, they just thought his work on the OC Was inferior. Shout out to Peter Gallagher. Love you, man. All right, let's start with. Enough nonsense. Nonsense. Knock it off, you eight balls. Come on. All right. Hey, a shout out to Annalise 0912. Very much appreciate your encouragement and just try and study some. Just some. Okay? All right. I look forward to you being my surgeon. Take care.

[D]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o', Brien, Brian Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Geena Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[C]

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[A]

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