The lessons author Kelly Corrigan took away from a challenging year.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Consider This from NPR Episode: The Lessons Author Kelly Corrigan Took Away from a Challenging Year
Release Date: January 1, 2025
Host: Mary Louise Kelly

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Introduction

In the January 1, 2025 episode of NPR's Consider This, host Mary Louise Kelly sets the stage for reflecting on the past year, 2024. She opens by acknowledging the diversity of listeners' experiences—some had a great year, others faced significant challenges, and most navigated a mix of both. The episode aims to delve into these varied experiences, highlighting key lessons learned through adversity.

Listener Stories: Navigating Tough Times

Mary invites listeners to share their struggles from the past year, offering a platform for personal stories of resilience:

• Taylor McKenzie (Timestamp: 03:26 – 04:00): Taylor recounts a "medical mystery" that plagued her from March 2022 to February 2023. She describes her condition as a constant twitch in her right arm and uncontrollable head movements. Taylor poignantly states, "We are all just really just one weird twitch away from having our lives changed forever" (04:00).

• Bruce Cox (Timestamp: 04:08 – 05:20): Bruce shares his harrowing experience from 2016 when he fell off an infinity pool, resulting in severe injuries, including cracked vertebrae and a traumatic brain injury (TBI). He explains, "I fell off the edge of an infinity pool onto a rocky beach and woke up approximately two months later" (04:20). Despite memory gaps and emotional changes, Bruce emphasizes his determination to avoid becoming mired in self-pity. "I've always said how we choose to deal with adversity defines us," he asserts (04:54).

Guest Spotlight: Kelly Corrigan’s Reflections

The spotlight shifts to Kelly Corrigan (Timestamp: 05:20 – 12:21), an accomplished author, podcaster, and PBS host. Kelly discusses her dual experiences of loss and growth in 2024, framing her narrative around the death of her mother.

Facing Loss with Grace

Kelly begins by sharing the profound impact of her mother's passing on May 25th. She reflects on the inevitability of death and the nature of a "good death," expressing gratitude for her mother's peaceful passing. "I think I followed her lead. I think I was not afraid for her," Kelly recalls (06:06). She describes the strength her mother exhibited, asserting, "Don't cry, I can't do this if you cry," which helped Kelly maintain composure and support her mother's wishes (06:07).

The Ripple Effects of Loss

Kelly explores how her mother's death permeates her daily life in unexpected ways:

• Emotional Triggers: Every sore throat serves as a subtle reminder of her mother's constant care. "I think the only person on earth that would care about this is my mother," Kelly notes (07:58).

• Self-Reflection: She grapples with feelings of inadequacy and questions whether she honored her mother's wishes appropriately. "I wanna say, did I do a good job? Is that what you wanted?" (07:58).

Lessons Learned: Embracing Duality and Acceptance

Kelly shares the "grace note" she derived from her challenging year: "Look harder. Like there's something inside everything that might leave you weirdly better than it found you." (08:50). However, she also emphasizes the importance of acknowledging pure adversity without forcing a positive spin. "It is absolutely essential that a thing is allowed to suck top to bottom," Kelly asserts (10:50). She advocates for allowing oneself to fully experience hardship without the pressure to find a silver lining, stating, "We should not force each other to poke around until we find something good to say about it." (11:27).

Concluding Insights: Embracing the Full Spectrum of Experience

Mary Louise Kelly encapsulates the episode by highlighting Kelly Corrigan's balanced perspective on loss and growth. Kelly's ability to both acknowledge the depth of her suffering and recognize the subtle improvements that emerge from adversity offers listeners a nuanced approach to processing their own challenging experiences.

Kelly concludes with a metaphor for moving forward: "Zoom out. Just keep zooming out until you find it," suggesting that broader perspectives can reveal unexpected benefits from difficult times (11:48).

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Key Takeaways:

• Resilience Through Adversity: Both listeners and guests exemplify how facing significant challenges can lead to personal growth and deeper understanding.
• Authentic Acknowledgment: Recognizing and allowing oneself to fully experience hardship is crucial for genuine healing.
• Subtle Growth: Positive changes may emerge subtly from difficult experiences, often requiring a broader perspective to be fully appreciated.

Notable Quotes:

• "We are all just really just one weird twitch away from having our lives changed forever." — Taylor McKenzie (04:00)
• "I've always said how we choose to deal with adversity defines us." — Bruce Cox (04:54)
• "Look harder. Like there's something inside everything that might leave you weirdly better than it found you." — Kelly Corrigan (08:50)
• "It is absolutely essential that a thing is allowed to suck top to bottom." — Kelly Corrigan (10:50)
• "Zoom out. Just keep zooming out until you find it." — Kelly Corrigan (11:48)

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Conclusion

The episode serves as a poignant reminder that the end of a year is a time for reflection, encompassing both the joys and sorrows that shape our lives. Through heartfelt stories and insightful conversations, Consider This encourages listeners to embrace the full spectrum of their experiences, finding strength and meaning in both the light and the dark moments.

Transcript

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Happy New Year. It's Mary Louise Kelly. I hope you are ringing in the new Year on a good note. We wanna start the podcast today by thanking all of you who joined NPR or who made a donation to the NPR network or to your local station during our end of year fundraising campaign. Thank you. Also, if you were already an NPR supporter now, you might have heard us say it before. We will say it again. But you fund one of the most trusted news outlets in America today, like that is no small thing in 2025. And we are immensely grateful for your support. If you missed making your donation before the end of the year, no worries. It's always a good time to stand up for public media. You can sign up for NPR today and get perks for more than 25 NPR podcasts, including this one at plus.npr.org or make a gift at donate.npr.org thanks again. Here's the podcast. The year has come to an end, and as that happens, no doubt you will hear a few bars of this classic. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind. Should old acquaintance be forgot on days of old life. What does this song mean? My whole life I don't know what this song means. I mean, should old acquaintance be forgotten? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances? It doesn't mean that if we happen to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot them. That is Billy Crystal in the Nora Ephron classic When Harry Met Sally. His character, Harry Burns question is one that more than a few of us have probably pondered around midnight on December 31st.

[Kelly Corrigan]

For old Lang Syne, my dear, for old lang Syne.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

The lyrics of Auld Lang Syne pose the question, how do we best remember the people and the experiences of a year that's ended? What memories do we hold onto? What do we take away from those experiences, both good and bad? Consider this. For some of us, 2024 was a great year. For others, not so much. And for most of us, it was some combination of the two. Coming up, we talked to author and podcaster Kelly Corrigan about challenges she experienced in 2024 and the lessons she'll take from them. From NPR, I'm Mary Louise Kelly. It's Consider this from NPR. As the song from the musical Rent goes, there's 525,600 minutes in a year. Some years fly by, others seem to last forever. A lot can happen in those minutes. Wonderful things, awful things. We asked listeners to tell us about a bad year and how they got through it.

[Taylor McKenzie]

My name is Taylor McKenzie. My most difficult year was between March of 2022 and February of 2023. During that time, I experienced a kind of a medical mystery. My twitch, as I call it, manifested in a way that just for 24 7, my right arm would jerk around consistently and my head would bob up and down uncontrollably.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

MacKenzie says she no longer has emotion.

[Taylor McKenzie]

Disorder, but we are all just really just one weird twitch away from having our lives changed forever.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

In 2016, Bruce Cox took a serious fall while on vacation. He survived but suffered a number of injuries, including cracked vertebrae and a traumatic brain injury.

[Bruce Cox]

I fell off the edge of an infinity pool onto a rocky beach and woke up approximately two months later. When I say wake up, my first conscious thought was about two months after the accident. I was in acute care for weeks and then transfer to an inpatient rehab locally and have no memory to this day of any of it.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

The TBI caused memory gaps and changes in his emotions. It was a long road to recovery, but Cox says he was determined to do whatever he could not to get stuck in woe is me mode.

[Bruce Cox]

I've always said how we choose to deal with adversity defines us. And I absolutely believe in that quote and embrace that in my recovery. So for me to find joy in, hey, there's not much traffic going to work today. That's fantastic. I find joy in that. I tend to try not to take for granted anything.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

This seems like a good place to bring in Kelly Corrigan. She is host of the podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders, also host of the PBS show Tell Me More and the author of four memoirs, Kelly Corrigan, I'm so happy to speak to you again.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Always, Mary Louise, always.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

So you just did a podcast on this very subject. Two part podcast. You looked back at 2024 and you called this undertaking Happy Crappy. We start with the crappy. Would you give us just a little taste of what this year has brought you?

[Kelly Corrigan]

So this year, for me, on the crappy and then also weirdly happy side, my mom died on May 25th.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Thanks. You know, I had known that people die. I had lived through it with my dad nine years before. And so I was aware that these things can go any number of ways, most of which are prolonged, painful, tragic, and then every now and then, there is such a thing as a good death. And my mother had a great death.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

You sound at peace with this, which is a huge thing to say about one of the biggest losses. Well, as human beings, we're ever going to carry in our lives.

[Kelly Corrigan]

I was so impressed. I mean, I felt like I was watching a tiny hundred pound general call the shots from this prone position. I mean, doctor after doctor after doctor came in and made her reconfirm her wishes. And they were all tall and male and authoritative and she was a shadow of herself. She was skin and bones and she was not afraid. And so I think I followed her lead. I think I was not afraid for her. And in fact she said, kelly, I know what I want. And I started crying and she said, don't cry, I can't do this if you cry. And I said, well, I'm going to cry a little bit, but I'm not going to try to stop you. I'm not going to obstruct this. And so I'm going to help you get what you want, which is to just be left alone, to be detached from the equipment and the machinery.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Would you just describe how the loss shows up in your daily life in little places where maybe you weren't expecting it.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Every sore throat. I think the only person on earth that would care about this is my mother. If I was talking to my mother and I said, oh, I think I have a little bit of a sore throat, she would call me the next day and say, how's your throat? And I'd think, God, you're the only one. That's amazing. And then the other time that I miss her is when I feel this loss of self where, I mean, per the story I just described, where I was like, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna obstruct your wishes. I attuned to her during those 10 days and what makes me miss her, Mary Louise, is that I wanna say, did I do a good job? Is that what you wanted?

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Yeah. Is there a grace note you'll take from this past year?

[Kelly Corrigan]

Maybe the grace note of 2024 is look harder. Like there's something inside everything that might leave you weirdly better than it found you. And in ways that you might fail to recognize at first glance. Which is why maybe you'll be rewarded if you look harder.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Are you thinking about your mom or something else?

[Kelly Corrigan]

I'm thinking about how weird it is to not have parents and then how it turned on me. My first reaction to not having parents was like a foot stomping. I don't like this kind of feeling. Like a little fit that a 4.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Year old would have, make it go away type thing.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Yeah, yeah. Why not talk to them? Like bring them back. I did a Good job. I was very grown up and we handled everything just right. And now I want them back. And then I don't think it's fair that I never, ever, ever get to talk to them. Like, oh, what if I could just talk to them once a year? You know, like, I'm sort of bargaining with who knows what to just get, like an ounce. Like, there's just the absoluteness of it is so hard to get your head around. But it cleared the way for me to be the parent. And of course, I've been a parent now for 23 years. But it clarified. This is what you're doing now. This is what your role is. You're the giver now. So give.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Let me ask that question in a slightly different way. The reverse way. Does there always have to be a grace note? I've been thinking on this one whether it is okay for something just to suck, to just richly, resoundingly suck and be unmitigated in its suckiness.

[Kelly Corrigan]

I think it is essential. I think it is absolutely essential that a thing is allowed to suck top to bottom, side to side, that it can be entirely and absolutely crappy. I think it'd be so tedious if all of us went around saying, oh, I know, but, like, isn't there some kind of silver lining in that? Like, that is just a horrific bar to try to clear time and time again. And it cheapens everything. Like, it's okay that, of course some things are absolutely suck. Yeah. Some things are utterly crappy.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Yeah.

[Kelly Corrigan]

And we should not force each other to, like, poke around until we find something good to say about it. There might be something that happens next. That's all. There might be something that happens next.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

Okay, that's a nice way of looking at it. You can wallow in the suckiness in the crappiness, but understand that it will end and there may be something else on the other side.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Yes, yes. And the something that comes next might be weirdly related to the crappiness. Zoom out. Zoom out. Just keep zooming out until you find it.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

That's a great way to end 2024 and look ahead to 2025. Kelly Corrigan. Thank you.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Thanks for having me. Mary Louise. Always love talking to you.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

It's author and podcast host and PBS host Kelly Corgan. Happy New Year.

[Kelly Corrigan]

Happy New Year.

[Mary Louise Kelly]

This episode was produced by Briana Scott, Connor Donovan and Katherine Fink. It was edited by Jeanette woods and Courtney Dorning. Our executive producer is Sammy Yenigun. It's consider this from npr. I'm Mary Louise Kelly Want to hear.

[Kelly Corrigan]

This podcast without sponsor breaks? Amazon prime members can listen to Consider this sponsor free through Amazon Music. Or you can also support NPR's vital journalism and get consider this [e-mail] that's plus.NPR.org.