Carter’s Holiday Pick: Truthless

Summary

Podcast Summary: Carter’s Holiday Pick: Truthless

Podcast Information:

• Title: Conspiracy Theories
• Host/Author: Spotify Studios
• Description: The world’s most controversial events, and the complex beliefs behind them. From Bigfoot sightings to bitcoin takeovers, alien landings to assassinations, who’s shaping the narrative — and why? Conspiracy Theories is a Spotify Podcast. New episodes Wednesdays.
• Episode: Carter’s Holiday Pick: Truthless
• Release Date: November 27, 2024

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Introduction: Host’s Holiday Pick

In the episode titled “Carter’s Holiday Pick: Truthless”, the host of Conspiracy Theories announces a special selection during the show's four-week hiatus. Instead of regular content, the host curates an episode from the podcast Truthless, highlighting its exploration of deceptive narratives and the intriguing stories behind them.

[00:02] Host: “Today I'm sharing an episode from one of my favorite podcasts, Truthless. On our show, sometimes we discover the official story isn't always the truth.”

Overview of Truthless:

Truthless, hosted by bestselling author Brian Phillips, delves into the intricate web of lies individuals have spun, uncovering the motives and outcomes behind these deceptions. In this particular episode, titled “Flying High”, Phillips interviews comedian and writer Mero Monroe, who shares his personal experience of lying his way into a prestigious position at Lehman Brothers.

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Mero Monroe’s Journey: From Mailroom to IT

1. The Lie That Landed the Job

Mero Monroe recounts his audacious decision to falsify his resume to secure a position at Lehman Brothers, one of New York’s most prominent investment banks before its collapse in 2008.

[03:37] Mero Monroe: “I lied on my resume verbally, to get a promotion. I started working at Lehman Brothers pre 9/11.”

Despite lacking corporate experience, Mero leveraged personal connections and fabricated work history to enter the competitive environment of Lehman Brothers.

[07:17] Mero Monroe: “I told Jose I'd been working at FedEx for years. But I worked at FedEx for, like, five years, by the way. I was, like, 17, so how the fuck did I work at FedEx for five years?”

2. Navigating the Lehman Brothers Ecosystem

Upon securing the mailroom position, Mero finds himself in a high-stakes environment rife with dysfunction and excess. The culture at Lehman Brothers, as depicted by Mero, is one of entitlement, substance abuse, and reckless financial practices.

[05:07] Mero Monroe: “Lehman Brothers is a cautionary tale of greed and excess. Shit went left, and they got left.”

Mero describes the mailroom as chaotic, where mistakes could have far-reaching consequences, yet the true operations behind the scenes were often opaque and disconnected from everyday employees.

3. Transitioning to IT: A Risky Upgrade

Driven by ambition and a desire to move up, Mero decides to apply for a position in the IT department—despite having no technical skills. His strategy involves deceptive tactics to navigate the application process.

[14:23] Mero Monroe: “I lied and I said that. I was like, yo, I'm familiar with, like, logistics. I know how to do mail stuff, blah, blah, blah. All of it was cap.”

Mero employs a three-pronged approach:

• Gaining Endorsement: Securing support from his initial boss, Jose, by downplaying his workload and emphasizing his desire to avoid additional responsibilities.

  [14:49] Mero Monroe: “I was just like, yo, listen, motherfucker, I'm not trying to do no more work.”

• Winning Over the New Boss: Persuading Ralph, his new supervisor, by appealing to Ralph’s personal interests and vulnerabilities.

  [15:32] Mero Monroe: “I appealed to his machismo and shit. I was just like, yo, this broad is really hot, Ralph.”

• Feigning Technical Competence: Pretending to possess the necessary IT skills to secure the position.

  [16:47] Mero Monroe: “Yo, yo stepped the whole like, yo, you gotta fill out paperwork and show that you know what you're doing.”

Despite lacking expertise, Mero manages to secure the IT role, marking the beginning of a precarious tenure characterized by improvised solutions and evasive maneuvers to avoid actual work.

4. Life Inside Lehman Brothers

Mero’s role in IT primarily involves handling mundane tasks like replacing hard drives, often without understanding the broader implications of his actions. His lack of knowledge becomes increasingly problematic as he navigates the complexities of a major financial institution.

[19:00] Mero Monroe: “Did you see any sparks or any electricity or anything of that nature? I'm talking like, I'm a fucking fire safety expert.”

Attempting to mitigate his incompetence, Mero offloads responsibilities to colleagues while maintaining a facade of technical proficiency.

[20:34] Mero Monroe: “Maybe I'm gonna mess something up and, like, press the wrong button and, like, crash the economy of Taiwan or some, like, by accident.”

5. The Lehman Brothers Culture and Financial Excess

Through Mero’s eyes, Lehman Brothers epitomizes the reckless financial practices that led to the 2008 crash. The institution is portrayed as teetering on the brink of collapse, driven by speculative bets and a disconnect from reality.

[32:20] Mero Monroe: “I saw money, like, just flying out the window all over the place. I was like, nah, man. I was like, I don't know about finance like that, but I do know how to sell an eight ball, dog.”

Mero identifies himself as one of the few honest individuals within a sea of deceit and financial manipulation, highlighting the inherent instability within Lehman Brothers’ operations.

6. The Impact of 9/11 and Lehman Brothers’ Demise

The tragic events of September 11, 2001, serve as an unexpected turning point for Mero. Assigned to a building adjacent to the World Trade Center, he narrowly avoids being present during the attacks, which ultimately lead to Lehman Brothers' downfall.

[26:24] Mero Monroe: “And then 911 happened. So, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, silver lining. I don't have to lie anymore.”

Post-9/11, Mero is reassigned to Jersey City, returning to the mailroom with a raise and escaping the precarious position he held in IT. This transfer effectively shields him from the chaos that ensues during the financial collapse.

Conclusion: Reflections on Truth and Deception

Brian Phillips wraps up the interview by drawing parallels between Mero’s story and the myth of Icarus, emphasizing the broader themes of ambition, deception, and downfall within high-stakes environments.

[34:09] Mero Monroe: “I'm the guy with the gun and the coke, and I'm the most honest guy in the building. What the fuck is wrong with this picture?”

Phillips reflects on how ordinary individuals like Mero become entangled in larger historical and financial events, often through a series of questionable decisions and lies. He contemplates the notion of regular people navigating complex systems and the inherent risks of attempting to climb the corporate ladder through deceit.

[34:16] Brian Phillips: “Sometimes it's nice to hear a story where at least one of us walks away from the crash unscathed.”

Credits and Acknowledgments:

The Truthless episode concludes with credits, highlighting the collaborative efforts behind the production.

[34:24] Brian Phillips: “Truthless was written and reported by me, Brian Phillips. The executive producers are Juliet Littman and Sean Fenne... ”

For listeners with similar stories of deception, an invitation is extended to share their experiences for potential future episodes.

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Key Takeaways:

• Deception as a Double-Edged Sword: Mero’s story underscores the risks and consequences of deceit in professional settings, illustrating how lies can temporarily mask incompetence but ultimately lead to instability and potential downfall.

• Corporate Culture and Ethical Decay: The environment at Lehman Brothers, as portrayed by Mero, serves as a microcosm for broader ethical issues within high-stakes financial institutions, highlighting how unchecked excess and manipulation contribute to systemic failures.

• Impact of External Events: Major historical events, such as 9/11, can drastically alter personal and organizational trajectories, offering unexpected opportunities for escape or change amidst chaos.

• Humanizing Financial Narratives: By sharing personal anecdotes like Mero’s, Truthless provides a relatable perspective on complex financial crises, emphasizing the human elements behind abstract economic phenomena.

Notable Quotes:

• Mero Monroe on Lying for Promotion:

  [03:37] “I lied on my resume verbally, to get a promotion.”

• Mero’s Reflection on Lehman Brothers’ Culture:

  [32:20] “I saw money, like, just flying out the window all over the place.”

• Phillips on Regular People in Big Events:

  [34:16] “Sometimes it's nice to hear a story where at least one of us walks away from the crash unscathed.”

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Final Thoughts:

Carter’s Holiday Pick: Truthless offers a compelling narrative that bridges personal anecdotes with broader conspiratorial themes. Mero Monroe’s experience at Lehman Brothers not only illustrates the perils of deceit in corporate environments but also provides insight into the systemic issues that can lead to significant economic disruptions. Through engaging storytelling and candid reflections, the episode invites listeners to ponder the intricate interplay between individual actions and large-scale events.

Transcript

[Host of Conspiracy Theories]

Hey, Conspiracy Theories listeners, if you missed my holiday break update. This is the first week of our four week hiatus, but we're still bringing you something I am sure you'll love. Today I'm sharing an episode from one of my favorite podcasts, Truthless. On our show, sometimes we discover the official story isn't always the truth. And on Truthless, bestselling author Brian Phillips interviews fascinating people about the outlandish lies they've told. Be sure to subscribe to Truthless wherever you listen to podcasts. We'll share a link in the show notes. New episodes of Conspiracy theories will resume December 25th.

[Brian Phillips]

All right, let me tell you a story. So a long time ago, on the island of Crete, there was this guy called Daedalus. Daedalus was an inventor. If he lived today, he'd have one of those social media bios that just says, like, I make things. You know, the kind that, like, web designers love to have. I make things. Daedalus actually did make things. And one of the things he made was this unbelievable maze. This labyrinth so complicated no one could find their way through it. He made this labyrinth for the king of Crete, who needed a way to imprison his own stepson. This stepson, you see, well, not a bad kid, but he had a complicated medical condition that unfortunately made him about 50% malevolent. Bovine. That's right, the Minotaur. The original cowboy. So, long story short, a hero called Theseus comes along, solves the maze, kills the Minotaur. The king's upset, and he gets suspicious. Did Daedalus tell Theseus how to get through the labyrinth? Daedalus didn't, but the king doesn't believe him. So he takes Daedalus and Daedalus son, who is 0% cow, and locks them both in a tower. Daedalus is like, well, this sucks. I don't want to live in a tower. Fortunately, Daedalus is a genius, so he figures out a way to escape. What he does is he invents wings. Just casually build some wings. He and his kid, a boy called Icarus, are going to fly right out of the tower. So Daedalus straps the wings on Icarus and he's like, okay, flying is easy. You've just got to remember this one weird trick. Don't go too high, because if you get too close to the sun, it'll melt the wax on your wings and. And you will fall. So Icarus takes off, and it's so fun. He's got puffy white clouds all around him, and the Blue sea down below. And he's just so happy. He's so happy, in fact, that he keeps flying higher. And, well, you know how this goes. He gets way too high. And just like his dad warned him, the sun melts the wax on his wings. And his story ends with a little cartoon slide whistle. Like.

[Mero Monroe]

I lied on my resume verbally, to get a promotion. I started working at Lehman Brothers pre 9 11. This is a young Meryl. So I'm in the mailroom, and I'm not making any money. And I was like, yo, there's an opening in the IT department. Young Merrill knows how to use computers to download pornography and use LimeWire. Young Mero does not know how to fix a broken monitor. But young Mero pretended that he did and lied his ass off and got that job. And finessed for, like, another two years, bro, not knowing how to do nothing.

[Brian Phillips]

I'm Brian Phillips. This is Truthless. Episode two, Flying High. The first time Marrow told me about where he grew up, this is what he said. I grew up in a neighborhood so rough, if you look it up on Google Maps, you'll get shot through the screen. This was in the Bronx in the 80s and 90s. Safe to say Marrow Monroe never expected to get a job at one of the world's glitziest investment banks. But that's exactly what happened. Can you just, like, tell our younger audience, like, what was Lehman Brothers?

[Mero Monroe]

Young audience? Lehman Brothers is a cautionary tale of greed and excess. And what happens when you have a cafeteria that does egg dip waffles and charges nobody anything, and then you just have tons of spring water, and everybody's taking smoke breaks, and you're just hemorrhaging money because you're just playing with money.

[Brian Phillips]

Before filing for bankruptcy amid the wreckage of the 2008 financial crash, Lehman Brothers had about 25,000 employees and $640 billion in assets. That's a lot of egg dip waffles. I mean, it's one of the biggest investment banks in New York, like, before the financial crash, right?

[Mero Monroe]

Yes, it was one of the biggest.

[Brian Phillips]

I looked it up after talking to Marrow. Lehman Brothers was the fourth biggest, actually, behind Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch. Lehman Brothers was in operation for more than 150 years before it got obliterated by the subprime mortgage crisis.

[Mero Monroe]

They did what these companies do. They play with your money, and everybody knows what happened. Shit went left, and they got left.

[Brian Phillips]

And somehow, like, everybody else got bailed out. But Lehman Brothers just got, like, the tsunami just, like, took them down like, they're just gone.

[Mero Monroe]

It was a wrap.

[Brian Phillips]

Of course, it's worth noting that Lehman Brothers was also substantially to blame for causing the subprime mortgage crisis. When you first told me about this story, I was like, okay, the 2008 financial crash. Did he, like, press the wrong button on a keyboard and bring down the world economy?

[Mero Monroe]

I was on the New York donut chat line, and I just put my elbow on the keyboard by accident, and I started the mortgage crisis. Sorry, guys.

[Brian Phillips]

When Marrow applied for the job at Lehman Brothers, though it was way before 2008. More like 98, 99. His mom had this friend, and the friend had a son called Jose. And Jose ran the mailroom at Lehman Brothers. And thanks to the family connection, Jose said he'd give Marrow a job as long as Marrow had the right experience.

[Mero Monroe]

I had no experience doing anything corporate or, like, office joby at all. I had done, like, retail stuff, been outside, you know? You know what I'm saying? Little street pharmaceutical, you know what I'm saying? Like, that type of situation. And I lied.

[Brian Phillips]

Mero was a teenager at this point. He told Jose he'd been working at FedEx for years.

[Mero Monroe]

And he was like, why isn't it on your resume? And I was like, I forgot to put it there. But I worked at FedEx for, like, five years, by the way. I was, like, 17, so how the fuck did I work at FedEx for five years?

[Brian Phillips]

You were like a chimney sweep for FedEx.

[Mero Monroe]

You know what I'm saying? I'm over here lying my ass off. I don't know if the guy cared, but apparently he did it because he hired me. Shout out to Jose.

[Brian Phillips]

The mailroom at Lehman Brothers ran on this thing called the Pitney Bose machine. I had to look this up. The Pitney Bose machine was this mail processing device. Looked like a couple of, like, big printers stacked together.

[Mero Monroe]

I lied and I said that. I was like, yo, I'm familiar with, like, logistics. I know how to do mail stuff, blah, blah, blah. I know how to use a Pitney Bowes machine. You know what I mean? Like, all of it was cap. Like, I was capping about everything. It was not true at all. And then I get in there, and I'm like, just kind of learning on the fly because there was a guy there named Martin who was, like, a super cokehead bro. Like, he used to be up there 6:30am like, just hitting the slopes, and I'm just like, yo, Martin, how do you use the Pitney Bowes machine? And he's just like, yo, let me show you buy. Yo, you press this button right here, and then you do the postage. You wait right here, and then you hit the postage button and then press on the postage.

[Brian Phillips]

Every morning, Mara would ride in from the Bronx to this gleaming corporate office tower right across the street from the World Trade center with its lobby polished to a high sheen, its security guys with wands, its screens with stock prices whizzing by, like Matrix code confetti, and its unbelievably lavish cafeteria and all the rest. And Marrow had no idea what anyone there was actually doing.

[Mero Monroe]

I know that you sit in front of six monitors all day. I have never seen you do anything except drink coffee and look at those monitors. This is why the financial crisis happened, because nobody knows what you guys are doing except you. The half of you are, like, embezzling funds. The other half of you are playing Angry Birds. So I got the job. I get in there, I start finessing. I get in good with Martin and Jose, who is, again, like, the child of my mom's friend. So, like, it was like, yo, I'm gonna take it easy on you. Like, I'm gonna let you make mistakes.

[Brian Phillips]

Jose showed Marrow the ropes. He walked him through the complicated landscape of the mail room, where a single misstep could torch the economy of Kansas.

[Mero Monroe]

Again, like, just literally learning on the fly, fucking a lot of stuff up. Like, sending a lot of stuff to the wrong people, and just, like, getting to cook because of the relationship I have with Jose, who's a friend of their family.

[Brian Phillips]

The mail room was somewhere in the bowels of the building. And, of course, it was way less fancy. In my imagination, it smelled like envelope glue and cardboard and ink. And there were manila envelopes everywhere and a million packages flying in and out. And it was super confusing. It was like navigating a maze. But Merrill was okay because he was in good with Martin, the friendly coke head who taught him the ropes. And most importantly, he was in good with his boss, Jose.

[Mero Monroe]

The more I tell this story, the more I feel like this sounds like jail. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm trading. I'm trading cigarettes for information. Like, yo, how do you use the printer? Like, yo, here's two cigarette Newport hundreds.

[Brian Phillips]

I wasn't surprised to hear that Marrow landed on his feet in the Lehman Brothers mail room because Marrow happens to be the kid Marrow, the comedian, writer, Showtime host, and all around entertaining dude. He's currently a host of the 7pm in Brooklyn podcast alongside NBA legend Carmelo Anthony. Check it out. Wherever you get your podcasts. Mero's a Dominican American guy with a smile that lights up the room and a completely infectious laugh. The first time he told me his Lehman Brothers story, I was talking to him while he was at a Mercedes dealership, literally in the middle of buying a new car for his wife. And he kept getting interrupted to fill out forms and select his infotainment trim level. Did you know Mercedes these days come with both AM and FM radio? And he kept me laughing the whole time. And I just remember thinking, anyone who can be this charming while filling out auto dealership paperwork would not have trouble finding friends in any mailroom or parcel dispatch situation on the planet Earth. So despite having invented all that FedEx experience to get the job, Mero was doing okay. But then he got some really bad news. Jose had decided to leave Lehman Brothers. And Jose's replacement was going to be this guy Ralph, who was not a family friend and who was not nearly as warm and forgiving.

[Mero Monroe]

So now my new boss is Ralph, who doesn't care about anything except his smoke breaks. He's like, textbook Staten island guy. So now I'm like, okay, now I gotta get out of here, because Jose's not here to hold me down. Martin's not enough. Like, I got it, and I have greater ambitions. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm trying to move up in Lehman Brothers. Like, you know, I'm trying to be embezzling phones soon.

[Brian Phillips]

You gotta get six monitors.

[Mero Monroe]

Yeah, Like, I only got one. I'm trying to get up to, like, at least three. Let me get three at least. So I'm like, all right, what's the fastest way to do that? Just look at what is opening up. Like, where do they need people? Like, where do they need help? So there was always something opening up. The turnover, there was crazy. Like, there was people there that were there for 50 years, and there was people that were there for five minutes.

[Brian Phillips]

Marrow wanted to fly a little higher. He wanted to move up. And so when a promising job opening came along, he decided to go for it, even though it wasn't exactly the job he might have chosen.

[Mero Monroe]

The first thing that I see that opens up is in the IT department, like, yo, my router is busted. My hard drive is fried, Whatever. Like, just straight computer tech stuff.

[Brian Phillips]

Did he know how to fix a router or a hard drive or computer tech stuff in general?

[Mero Monroe]

No knowledge of this shit whatsoever.

[Brian Phillips]

To get the job in it, Marrow first had to survive the application process. He devised a three pronged plan to get through it. Prong number one, get Jose to vouch for him. He explained to Jose that the IT job was a way to further his career goals of making a lot more money while not over taxing himself.

[Mero Monroe]

And I was just like, yo, listen, motherfucker, I'm not trying to do no more work. Like, I just cruise by here, like, you know what I'm saying? I clock in, I clock out. I don't want to be over here changing paper and printers and shit and delivering water. I'm not trying to do none of that. Let Martin do all that. He's coked up. I don't wanna do any of this.

[Brian Phillips]

Martin's got the energy. Martin's.

[Mero Monroe]

Yeah, yeah. Martin's on go. Martin is on go all day. I'm trying to just chill here and, like, talk to girls on the phone.

[Brian Phillips]

Prong number two, get his new boss, Ralph, to vouch for him. This one's trickier. He'd won over Jose by invoking his laziness. To win Ralph over, he needed a different strategy.

[Mero Monroe]

Like, my girlfriend had come in, like, to pick me up from work, like, twice. And she, at the time, like, she was bad. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I tell the rapper, yo, you see how bad she is, bro? Like, I'm trying to. I'm trying to keep this job, bro. Trying to impress this girl. You know what I mean? Like, I gotta. And that appealed to his, like, you know what I mean? Cause this guy. This guy was like, central casting Italian Staten island guy.

[Brian Phillips]

Ralph might not have been interested in aiding and abetting laziness, but he was more than happy to send an unqualified technician into. Into the IT department of one of the driving engines of the global economy if it meant helping Marrow get laid.

[Mero Monroe]

I appealed to, like, you know, his. His machismo and shit. I was just like, yo, this broad is really hot, Ralph. You know? Like, I'm trying to keep her in the mix, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, I gotta keep her around.

[Brian Phillips]

And as Marrow tells it, Ralph very much understood the assignment.

[Mero Monroe]

Yeah, you little shit. Yeah, I know what you're trying to do, bro. Yeah. But hey, hey, hey, listen, listen, bro. I don't do blow, all right? I'm not an alky. But everybody's got their vices, bro. And, yo, listen, I'll be honest with you, bro. Getting a little bit of trim on the side is one of my vices, so I feel you, dude. I'm putting a good word for you.

[Brian Phillips]

Prong number three for Surviving the application process brazenly lie about knowing computers. Marrow lied. Marrow got the job.

[Mero Monroe]

And I euro stepped the whole like, yo, you gotta fill out paperwork and show that you know what you're doing. Nah, I just got walked right up into that motherfucker like, yo, here.

[Brian Phillips]

Up next, Marrow does his first job as an IT specialist who knows nothing about it, and we have a serious talk about the importance of honesty in. In capitalism. After several commercials, the kid Marrow was moving up in the world. Lehman Brothers was one of the highest flying corporations in finance, and Marrow had lied his way out of the mailroom and gotten a new job in it, a subject he knew practically nothing about.

[Mero Monroe]

I remember my first job was to remove the hard drive from a tower. And it was like, yo, so and so on 38, their hard drive is fried. They need it replaced. Here's the new one. Just go replace it. And I was like, all right, cool.

[Brian Phillips]

Marrow made his way up to the 38th floor. His heart was pounding, or at least mine would have been. Everything at Lehman Brothers went through computers, and a significant part of the world economy went through Lehman Brothers. This was more than a simple hard drive swap for all. Marrow knew, if he screwed this up, there'd be a coup in Japan. The next morning, dog, I opened up.

[Mero Monroe]

That tower, and I was like, I don't know what I am doing right now. I went back down, and I asked one of the other guys. I was just like, yo, I was like, I want to replace this hard drive, but I'm like, I want to make sure that it's the right one. Like, I'm just bullshitting like crazy. Like, yo, is this the right.

[Brian Phillips]

Like, do the specs line up right? Like, is this the right number of pins on this thing? Yeah.

[Mero Monroe]

And I'm like, listen, did he ask for this specifically? Because, you know, we want to make sure that the guys get the stuff that they're asking for. And so then I'll make this guy come up with me. I was like, yo, is this because I opened it up already? And I'm like, like, bro, when I say that, I'm just like, word salading my way through this. I'm just like, sir, so when you. When you say your hard drive is fried, like, it's. It's burnt. Like it's messed up.

[Brian Phillips]

Like smoke is coming out of it, smoking.

[Mero Monroe]

Did you see any sparks or any electricity or anything of that nature? I'm talking like, I'm a fucking fire safety expert. Meanwhile, I'm just doing this so that the guy that I went from downstairs could just. Just do the job. You know what I'm saying? So he. The other kid does it, puts the hard drive in. Boom, boom, boom. I just put the screws on the tower, close it back up, and I'm like, all right, job here is done.

[Brian Phillips]

You're, like, knocking the top of it. Like, she's gonna hold like Scotty on Star Trek.

[Mero Monroe]

I'm like, good to go. You're good now, sir. So then I leave, and I'm like, yo, damn. I was like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that again. You know what I mean? So then I'm like, how do I finagle the bagel now? How do I keep myself in here without having to do this again? Because this is high pressure, bro. That was a high wire act that I just did.

[Brian Phillips]

Marrow had gone up for the IT job, mostly because it wouldn't be all that much work compared to the mail room under its new leadership. Now he realized that he had to avoid even the small amount of work that was expected of him at all costs.

[Mero Monroe]

Maybe I'm gonna mess something up and, like, like you said, like, you know, press the wrong button and, like, crash the economy of Taiwan or some, like, by accident. So I was just like, all right, bro. Again, appealing to people's laziness. I was like, y'all don't like to write, so I will just fill out all these work orders. Because back then, it was like, everything was paper. You give, like, the pink copy to Ralph, you give the yellow copy to so and so you give the blue copy to this person, then you file away.

[Brian Phillips]

The other guy, he told his coworkers, hey, you know what? You go up and take care of this operating system crash, which he'd add, I could totally do, by the way, but because I'm so nice, I'll stay here and fill out all the paperwork so you don't have to do it. If his coworkers complained, he'd just point out that at the time, he was smoking a lot of weed at work, and he probably shouldn't be wandering through the hallways on his own.

[Mero Monroe]

So I made that my job. Every time a guy had to go upstairs and fix the thing, I'd be like, yo, yo, yo, they want me to go up to 36. And, yo, Mr. Wong, two of his monitors on the fritz, bro. But I ain't really trying to do all that, man. I'm high as fuck. Like, I don't want him to see me high and shit. So if You. I'll do the paperwork. Because I know you hate the paperwork.

[Brian Phillips]

Marrow, like, Icarus himself, had gotten way too high.

[Mero Monroe]

So, like, I just did that, bro, for, like, my entire Lehman Brothers career until the last Christmas party.

[Brian Phillips]

I bet all the other tech guys loved you, cuz. Like, nobody wants to do the paperwork.

[Mero Monroe]

Nobody, bro. And I'm doing this all wrong. I'm writing names, bro. I'm high as fuck. I'm just like, captain, Yo. Yeah. Captain Crunch on 38. You fix his monitor? Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, that.

[Brian Phillips]

You're like. You're like, yeah, we changed out the warp crystals on the dilithium drive.

[Mero Monroe]

Yeah. Yo, yo.

[Brian Phillips]

Got some new photon torpedoes and the modem.

[Mero Monroe]

Wait. Wait until you see that EMP cannon I put on his. On his hard drive. Expediter. You know, at a certain point, I started telling the guys, like, one by one, being like, I'm not gonna say their names out because they. I don't know what they do. Like, I don't know.

[Brian Phillips]

They could still be there.

[Mero Monroe]

They could, you know, under a different.

[Brian Phillips]

Maybe not at Lehman Brothers, but somewhere.

[Mero Monroe]

Merrill lynch, you know? I mean, in the same building. So, like, one by one, I started telling these guys, like, yo, listen, bro, I'm gonna keep it real with you. Like, I know you smoke weed. I'll give you weed. You know what I'm saying? If you just don't tell nobody that, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. You know what I mean?

[Brian Phillips]

Like, yo, so this is also how I keep my job as a podcaster. So how long would you think a person could keep a tech support job at a massive global investment bank while being stoned most of the time and not knowing how to do any tech support? If I tried that at my job, I think I'd get caught in, like, four days, max.

[Mero Monroe]

So for two years, Brian, I did this shit for two years straight, dog. Two years. Two years, dog, before you get caught, bro, this is two years for half.

[Brian Phillips]

Of an entire presidential term for someone's whole junior and senior years of college, Marrow kept walking this tightrope. The 90s rolled over into the 2000s. The stack of incorrectly filled out paperwork kept getting taller. The pressure kept mounting. Marrow kept lying at work. And this was not as chill a thing to do as it maybe sounds, because the truth is, a lot of things about Lehman Brothers were just pretty terrifying. The atmosphere was incredibly high stakes, but under the surface, also incredibly feral and chaotic.

[Mero Monroe]

Dog, listen, if I was a check fraud type of motherfucker, dog, the type of checks that were flowing through, Doug. I saw checks that were just lost. There was like, a box of mail that was just like, yo, mail that we don't know. Like, it's. It's like they fucked up the name. They messed up the address. Like, we gotta figure out where this goes, you know? Standard mailroom shit.

[Brian Phillips]

And it's just a briefcase full of gold, dog.

[Mero Monroe]

It's like. It's like a. It's like a deed to Saudi Arabia. You know what I'm saying? Like, what the fuck is this? Like, I'm opening this shit up because I have now. I'm like, I gotta open this up. Like, you know what I mean? Like, under the auspices of, like, yo, we don't know what this is. It could be anthrax. We gotta check it. Blah, blah, blah.

[Brian Phillips]

Right, right, right.

[Mero Monroe]

Opening it and seeing a check for like, eight and a half million dollars. You know what I mean? I'm like, who sends a check for that amount of money?

[Brian Phillips]

Would you, like, carry that over at least? Like, you're putting that in the mail, dog.

[Mero Monroe]

Like, it's fucking insane. That just shows, like, the amount of, like, money and, like, fucking around that was going on in this place, dog. I went to the Christmas party, and I think I sold half a brick in this Christmas party. Like, they would. There was no spouses allowed. There was no plus ones, bro. This is a different era.

[Brian Phillips]

Like, this is full Wolf of Wall Street.

[Mero Monroe]

Full, full, full. Everybody's doing, blowing the bathrooms. There's. There's mad sex workers in there. It's just mayhem. And this is young Mero. I'm on the block. I have a firearm in my house. That's not legal. And I'm looking at these people like, yo, y'all are crazy. Yo, y'all are bugging. You're just doing coke at the table.

[Brian Phillips]

What finally saved Mero from getting caught, what came to his rescue, in a way, was maybe not exactly the thing you'd expect. He was saved by a world historic event.

[Mero Monroe]

And then 911 happened. So, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, silver lining. I don't have to lie anymore. Like, they moved me to Jersey City, and I went back to the mail room with a raise.

[Brian Phillips]

That's. It's just crazy how life just. Life just looks out for you.

[Mero Monroe]

It's great. It's fucked up. Oh, my God. So as a New Yorker, I'm like, yo, Doug, you making 911 jokes. But, yo, 911 really saved my ass and made me employable. It kept me employable.

[Brian Phillips]

Before 9 11, Lehman Brothers global headquarters was at 3 World Financial. So you can picture the building, maybe if you've seen 911 footage. There's Tower 1 and Tower 2, the two big World Trade center towers. And then nearby, there's the smaller skyscraper with the green roof. That's where Marrow worked. Thankfully, he wasn't there when the planes hit. He'd been off work, visiting his family in the Dominican Republic. He got back from his vacation on September 9, but he hadn't gone back into work yet, for one very good reason.

[Mero Monroe]

Again, I am so lazy that I came back September 9th. I'm chilling at home. My cousin Carlos is working there, and he's like, yo, when are you coming back, bro? Like, they asking about you. And I'm like, yo, I'm coming back. I'm like, I'm gonna come back next week. Tell him. I'm like, I got food. Poisonous or some shit.

[Brian Phillips]

So the very good reason Marrow didn't go into work on 911 is I was too lazy.

[Mero Monroe]

I watched 911 like it was a fucking movie from the roof of my building, smoking a blunt, like, holy. What the Is going on? And then my cousin called me, yo, you going to work? Yo. Yo, you at work? Yo, turn the TV on. I'm like, what? I'm like, ah. Turn the TV on. And I'm like, oh, what the. And I immediately go to the roof of my building, and I'm in the Bronx. So I just see, like, a pillar of smoke, right? Like, I'm just looking downtown. I just see a pillar smoke. I don't see nothing else. So I run back down to my apartment. I'm watching the tv. I'm like, oh. Like, what the fuck?

[Brian Phillips]

Marrow and his cousin stayed on the phone, though. Really? What could they say?

[Mero Monroe]

At one moment, there's like, a pause, and he's just like, yo. Yo, you think we still got jobs, though? I was like, motherfucker. I was like, yo, we just moved to World Trade Center. What the fuck are you talking about? Do we still get a job? Do we still. Do we still have a country? Now I'm high. I'm watching this smoke. I'm coming down. I'm seeing the news. I'm on the phone. I'm smoking weed. And it's. And it's. You know how weed goes. It's like, it's either you're either chilling or now you're paranoid. Yeah, now I'm paranoid. I'm just like, yo, what the fuck?

[Brian Phillips]

Are they coming for me? Is this about right? Yo, yeah.

[Mero Monroe]

Yes. Did I open the wrong Saudi Arabian package? What happened? Yo, Doug, my father said the most calming this was a verbal Xanax. I called my pops. I was like, yo. I was like, bye. Yo, you saw this shit, bro. Like, yo, yo, they bombed the fucking thing, yo. They flew a plane into the shit. Yo, Da. I was like, yo, I'm in the Bronx. And he's just like, papi, calm down. I said, now? You mean calm down, bro? It's like. He's like, bobby, calm down. Nobody gonna do shit in the Bronx. Nobody gonna bomb in the Bronx. Papa tranquilo. The Bronx. Nobody wanna. Who gonna. What the fuck they want to blow in the Bronx? The Bronze Soup. I was like, nah, you right, dad. You're right.

[Brian Phillips]

Safest place in America.

[Mero Monroe]

Safest place in America on that level was the Bronx. I was like, yo, you know what, dad? You're absolutely fucking right. Let me put a lawn chair out in front of the building and smoke the rest of this blunt.

[Brian Phillips]

3 World Financial, where Lehman Brothers was headquartered, became uninhabitable after the Twin Towers fell. So the company reassigned Mero to Jersey City and moved him back to the mail room with a raise. So he was making the same money he was making in it. But now no one would ever find out. He'd been bluffing around computers for two straight years, and you already knew how to use the Pitney Bowes machine. So it was like. It was like going home at that point.

[Mero Monroe]

Yes. It was like I felt like Carmelo Anthony signing with the Knicks.

[Brian Phillips]

Marrow quit Lehman Brothers pretty soon after that, though, because the commute was annoying. And the Lehman Brothers bros. The Lehman bros. Bros. Kept wanting him to go out with them after work.

[Mero Monroe]

They'd be like, yo, let's go out after work. And I'm like, yo, y'all are making 150, 250, 350. I'm making 35 a year, all right? Like, I can't pick up the tab, okay? And I'm not a drinker like that. I'm a smoker. So, like, why am I going to Moran's with you guys after work? Fuck that. I'm just going to hang out on the block with my friends, take my shirt off and drink some Paul Massage in front of the building.

[Brian Phillips]

And so after two years, a major terrorist attack, and a transfer to Jersey, Mero never got caught for lying his way into the IT department. And he'd end up quitting the bank a few years before the financial crisis burned off Lehman Brothers wings and dropped it into the sea. But he'd seen enough waste and entitlement and magical thinking and dudes barricading themselves behind multiple rows of monitors and acting like masters of the universe during his time there that when the crash did hit, he wasn't exactly surprised.

[Mero Monroe]

And then, like, you see, like, the upper level guys, like the C suite guys, and, like, you go up there and it's like, dog, why do you have a $15,000 pen? That doesn't even make sense. Why do you have a Mickey Mantle baseball, you know, that you retrofitted to hang in a disco ball that you paid 150 thousand? Like, it's just. I just saw money, like, just flying out the window all over the place. And I was like, nah, man. I was like, I don't know about finance like that, but I do know how to sell an eight ball, dog. And I like, I know something's up here. This is not sustainable.

[Brian Phillips]

Yeah. And it's. It's so wild because it was like, so much of it wasn't even, like, real money. I mean, like, yes, it was.

[Mero Monroe]

It was like idea money. I used to call it idea money.

[Brian Phillips]

Yeah. If you're selling an eight ball, like, you've got a product.

[Mero Monroe]

Yes.

[Brian Phillips]

To an extent. That has to be like. You have to kind of stand behind that. Right. Like, that has to be good. You have to be giving people what they're paying. Like, this was like some guys buying a Mickey Mantle baseball based on guessing in advance what group of old people weren't going to be able to pay off their mortgages in time.

[Mero Monroe]

Exactly.

[Brian Phillips]

That was the bet.

[Mero Monroe]

That was it. I didn't even, like, I didn't. I didn't know it to that extent. I just knew something.

[Brian Phillips]

It's one of those things that, like, if you just explained it to a normal person, even pre 2008, if you just explained to a normal person how this worked, they'd be like, no way. That is fake, and that is never going to work. You explain it to, like, a finance genius, and they're like, of course. And I can make it even more complicated and fake. I think we can open source, kicking, like, 5,000 people out of their houses.

[Mero Monroe]

And that was it. I was just like, yeah, that's why there's so many of y'all, because y'all just telling each other lies. And the next guy's lie has to be better.

[Brian Phillips]

Yeah. In the end, you were, like, the most honest guy at Lehman Brothers in the.

[Mero Monroe]

I'm the guy with the gun and the coke, and I'm the most honest guy in the building. What the fuck is going, what's wrong with this picture?

[Brian Phillips]

It used to be that whenever I thought about the Icarus story, I thought there were two ways to look at it. You could either concentrate on the flying or you could concentrate on the falling. And whichever one you focused on probably told you something about yourself. And I think that's probably true. When we're talking about, you know, world finance, there are a lot of people for whom it doesn't really matter. It just doesn't really factor in that the industry screwed up the world and kind of pile drived itself into the Sea in 2008. Because all those people are focused on is the cars and the yachts and the cocaine on the table and the unrestrained excess that came before the crash. And frankly, also after the crash. Anyway, these days when I think about the Icarus story, what strikes me is that he really didn't have that much to do with it. He didn't invent the labyrinth, he didn't kill them. Minotaur. He was just in the mythological mailroom, got swept up in events that were bigger than he was, and tried to have a good time. And when I think about it that way, I think, wow, I might like that story better if he escaped. You know, regular people get caught up in history and we try to make our way as best we can. We get caught in mazes and locked in towers and we don't know what we're doing and we make some dumb choices, sure. But I'm writing this in front of one monitor, and I think I speak for all of us who are not masters of the universe when I say that sometimes it's nice to hear a story where at least one of us walks away from the crash unscathed. Truthless was written and reported by me, Brian Phillips. The executive producers are Juliet Littman and Sean Fenne. Our story editor is Connor Nevins. The show was produced by Mike Worgan and Vikram Patel. Fact checking by Juliana Ress. Copy editing by Anna Doane. Talent booking by Kat Spillane. Sound Design by Kaia McMullen. Mixing and mastering by Scott Somerville. The music in Truthless comes from Blue Dot Sessions and Epidemic Sound. Art direction and illustration by David Shoemaker. If you have a great story about a lie and you might like to appear on a future episode of Truthless, shoot us an [e-mail] thanks for listening.