Conspirituality Podcast

Episode 283: Guys

Air Date: November 13, 2025
Hosts: Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, Julian Walker

Overview

This episode explores the crisis of masculinity, the political polarization of young men in the US, and how both reactionary and progressive figures are attempting to define (and sometimes weaponize) what it means to be "a man" in contemporary American culture. The hosts dissect the failures of mainstream political approaches, critique attempts to manufacture a “Joe Rogan of the left,” and analyze recent case studies, including politicians Zoran Mamdani and Graham Platner, contrasting them with public intellectuals like Scott Galloway. Issues of authenticity, performance, and shifting electoral attitudes among young men are recurring themes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Masculinity Crisis and Political Strategy

• Backdrop: Recent large gender gaps in voting, with young men shifting right and young women left, have generated Democratic soul-searching and led to consultant-driven projects to "win back" men (see the $20M “Speaking with American Men” initiative).

  • Derek: “Men feel increasingly lonely and aggrieved with few career and relationship prospects. This makes them sitting ducks for online propaganda…” (04:25)
  • Matthew: “Competing for a Joe Rogan of the left…is kind of thinking like a fascist thinks.” (06:09)
  • Julian: Critiques the search for a leftist Joe Rogan as misguided, but acknowledges the value of spaces where men feel seen without being overtly political. (07:18)

• Authenticity & Parasocial Relationships: Parasocial attachment to “bro podcasters” and influencers is strong, especially with figures who present as “just asking questions” in unfiltered ways.

  • Julian: “The parasocial relationships that are developed in those spaces for men...that is largely appealing to a population.” (07:18)

• Consultant Approaches Critiqued: Efforts to manufacture authenticity, and target men through “non-traditional digital areas like video games,” are considered naïve or even counterproductive.

  • Matthew: “This is not a space about authenticity. It is anonymous. It’s transgressive. It's irony pilled...you can’t micromanage it.” (11:58)

2. Authenticity, Masculinity, and the “Manosphere”

• Conflicting Definitions of Authenticity: The group digs into how “authenticity” is coded—being shamelessly transgressive can be read by some as authentic, but that doesn’t mean it has any moral content.

  • Matthew: “I don't see the purely transgressive as authentic...authenticity itself is something that has to be performed.” (13:37)
  • Julian: “Authenticity doesn't have to have a moral component...for a lot of men who fall into these spaces, that is authentic to them.” (14:31)
  • Derek: “In the pre-Trump era...I like that guy because he says what everyone else is thinking...it's that definition of authenticity.” (15:07)

• Perception Gaps: Democrats seen as “fake and scripted,” while Republicans are “supposedly warts and all honest.” There’s a mistaken conflation of professionalism with dishonesty, and narcissism with authenticity.

3. Political Case Studies: Mamdani & Platner

Zoran Mamdani

• Background: Child of prominent academic parents (postcolonial studies and film), major social media presence, humorous and self-deprecating.

• Qualities: Humor, humility, multi-lingual outreach, comfort with his own shortcomings, and openness about learning and mistakes.

  • Julian: “He uses social media extremely well...honest humility...another strong masculine quality.” (35:17)
  • Derek: “He’s quick to smile...He smiles with his eyes, his whole face...quick, observant intelligence Obama had.” (33:42)

• Policy Focus: Affordability, labor, care work, inclusivity. Uplifts unseen laborers, immigrant communities; not about performative masculinity.

  • Matthew: “He is not putting himself into some kind of commanding, patriarchal alpha position. He’s always citing his sources.” (41:38)
  • Memorable Speech: “Fingers bruised from lifting boxes…these are not hands that have been allowed to hold power. And yet over the past 12 months, you have dared to reach for something greater...Yemeni bodega owners…Mexican abuelas...Senegalese taxi drivers...” (43:00)

• Masculinity Modeled Differently: “Perhaps the most masculine trait to me...is that he’s unapologetically himself...He just seems comfortable in his skin.” (39:36, Julian)

• Strategic Self-Deprecation: “When the right came at him for eating rice with his hands, he posted more photos of himself eating rice with his hands.” (39:36, Julian)

• Potential Vulnerabilities: Elite/“diaspora” background makes him an easy scapegoat for right-wing media.

  • Derek: “All qualities...that are incredibly easy for right wing propagandists to frame as elite, subversive...I also bite my nails…” (50:01)

Graham Platner

• Background: Ex-Marine, oyster farmer, blue-collar toughness, complicated military history, former “tanky” socialist poster, publicly confronted own problematic Reddit past.
• Qualities: Embodies a “testosterone mountain” type, more traditional masculine presentation, but pushes populist and socialist platforms.
• Controversies:
  • Questionable apology about Nazi-affiliated tattoo (“I had no idea what it meant”) found implausible by hosts.
    • Matthew: “He claims he got it...had no idea what it meant...a lot of folks, including me, found this impossible to believe…” (59:26)
  • Past racist/sexist Reddit commentary, addressed publicly and apologized, claims to have matured.
• Theme of Forgiveness: Platner and Mamdani both faced scrutiny over past statements; how they handle and move beyond them is seen as indicative of authenticity and potential for growth.
  • Julian: “Both made amends of sorts with [past statements]...seem to be forgiven by their constituents.” (58:11)
• Authenticity Questioned: “Is this person true to their word? Are they dependable? Will they turn on you, betray you?” (61:48, Matthew)
• Electoral Calculus: Platner can play to economic populist sentiment in rural areas; Mamdani’s style less exportable to Midwest “heartland.”

4. The Limits of Progressive “Bro” Messaging

• Scott Galloway (“Notes on Being a Man”):
  • Promoted as a liberal Jordan Peterson, but advances a protect-provide-procreate model that is strikingly traditional.
    • Matthew: “His thesis is boys and men are suffering because they have forgotten their essential roles and responsibilities. To be a man...you must protect, provide, and procreate.” (25:08)
  • Book is “thin on policy, big on vibes.” In media tour, claims to support things like universal childcare, but book doesn’t mention it.
  • Critique: Mainstream is eager to repackage this as “feminist adjacent,” but it is fundamentally reactionary and inattentive to actual feminist analysis. (25:25, 27:27)

5. What Women Actually Find Attractive (vs. What Men Think)

• Julian: “Men often think they’re doing things that are attractive to women and really they’re just making themselves more attractive to other men, which...makes for a lot of strife and leads to a lot of miscommunication...” (30:43)
• Zoran as Counterexample: Funniness, warmth, humility, comfort with his own ignorance or failings, willingness to learn from (female) mentors are seen as novel—and more genuinely attractive.

6. Masculinity, Betrayal, and Trust

• The Trap of Authoritarian Masculinity: American political culture is haunted by the “ambivalent father”—the patriarch who promises to protect but often betrays or abuses. Both Mamdani and Platner invert this, offering support and care rather than authoritarian protection.
  • Matthew: “I personally can’t help but to imagine that something really, really old is being worked out with this...the dominant monotheisms at play...an eternally ambivalent father…This is the God you can never quite trust until you reinvent him by rewriting the old stories.” (69:03)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Left’s Search for a Bro Voice:
  Matthew: “The workflow from ‘men are aggrieved’ to ‘where is the Joe Rogan of the left?’…it seems useless to me if the desire is to head off fascism.” (06:09)

• On Performance of Authenticity:
  Julian: “Authenticity doesn’t have to have a moral component to it. And for a lot of men who fall into these spaces, that is authentic to them.” (14:31)

• On Humor and Relatability:
  Julian: “Of all the conversations I’ve had with people close to me, they find Zoran wildly attractive…more of a man than most any other political figure they’ve seen.” (30:43)
  Derek: “He’s quick to smile…his default setting is to tap into the kinds of warmth and empathy that are necessary for spontaneous humor.” (33:42)

• On Mamdani’s Speech:
  Matthew (quoting Mamdani): “Thank you to those who often are forgotten…Yemeni bodega owners and Mexican abuelas, Senegalese taxi drivers and Uzbek nurses, Trinidadian line cooks and Ethiopian aunties.” (44:16)

• On Policy vs. Branding:
  Matthew (on Galloway): “The book is big on vibes because it’s kind of thin on policy…Not a lot. The balance is kind of like this is how you excel at capitalism, young man.” (25:25)
  Matthew: “He is not a leader, but he is a talker.” (27:27)

• On Past Mistakes and Forgiveness:
  Julian: “Both made amends of sorts…without losing the underlying populism. And both seem to be forgiven by their constituents.” (58:11)

• On Masculinity and Betrayal:
  Matthew: “Is this person true to their word? Are they dependable? Will they turn on you, betray you? Is their support for you conditional or not? I think it’s an anxiety that’s a natural outcome of the patriarchal promise…” (61:48)

Key Timestamps

• 04:25 – Gender gaps in 2024 election results; the “manosphere” and bro podcasters.
• 07:18 – Rogan-style podcasts; the value of informal male spaces.
• 11:58 – Authenticity: irony, transgression, and the online meme world.
• 20:29 – Masculinity in gym/fitness culture; what is "normal."
• 25:08 – Scott Galloway’s “Notes on Being a Man” and critique.
• 30:43 – What women find attractive vs. men’s perceptions.
• 35:17 – Zoran Mamdani’s humor, humility, and policy-driven masculinity.
• 43:00 – Mamdani’s inclusive speech.
• 50:01 – The risk of right-wing attacks on “elite” masculinity.
• 54:07 – Graham Platner’s campaign, aesthetic, and controversies.
• 61:48 – The anxiety around trust and betrayal in masculine archetypes.
• 69:03 – Reflections on the “ambivalent patriarchal father” in political/spiritual culture.

Conclusion & Takeaways

The episode ultimately argues for broadening the definitions of masculinity in public life, away from reactionary models and shallow performative “authenticity.” Figures like Mamdani illustrate a new path by privileging care, inclusivity, humility, and genuine self-acceptance—all while demonstrating policy acumen and political bravery. Forgiveness, growth, and accountability for past missteps are crucial, but so too are trust and the willingness to resist easy stereotypes. The battle for young men’s hearts and minds cannot be won by simplistic imitation of right-wing influencer culture, but by meeting real needs and embodying alternative models of what it is to be a man.