Coparent Academy Podcast

Episode #179: "Are You An Emotionally Clumsy Coparent?"

Hosts: Linda VanValkenburg and Ron Gore
Date: September 29, 2025

Overview

This episode delves into the concept of "emotional clumsiness"—how emotionally charged or unexpected moments can disrupt our composure, sometimes leading to embarrassing or regrettable outcomes. Host Ron Gore uses a personal (and humorous) restaurant mishap as a metaphor for the unforeseen challenges that arise during co-parenting. The focus is on self-awareness, forgiving your own missteps, and learning to navigate emotionally tricky scenarios with more grace.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Restaurant Story: Emotional Dysregulation in Action

• Ron recounts a story about planning his 25th wedding anniversary dinner, which unexpectedly veers into "complicated relational territory."

• He describes how, when emotionally overwhelmed, he can become physically clumsy—dropping his fork and knife, then toppling out of his chair when trying to recover them.

• The vivid anecdote sets up the episode's theme: how emotional overload can affect even our most basic actions.

  "Sometimes when unexpectedly emotionally complicated things come up, I get a little dysregulated."
  — Ron Gore [00:53]

2. Translating the Story to Coparenting

• Ron draws a parallel between the restaurant blunder and navigating tense moments in co-parenting.

• He notes that co-parents often deal with "emotional residue" from past relationships or ongoing challenges, which can turn ordinary interactions into emotionally charged events.

• Emotional clumsiness may manifest as saying the wrong thing, overreacting, or handling a delicate situation poorly—mirroring his "moral equivalent" of the dropped utensils.

  "A situation that can be just like a normal everyday situation can suddenly be complicated by this emotional residue of your relationship."
  — Ron Gore [04:18]

3. Self-Reflection and Moving Forward

• Ron encourages listeners to reflect on similar moments in their own co-parenting experiences: Have they ever "dropped the fork" and tried to fix things in a clumsy, counterproductive way?

• He reassures the audience that mistakes are natural and not the end of the world.

• The key is to recognize these incidents, learn from them, and approach future situations with a bit more self-awareness and calm.

  "What's important is that you kind of take a second, you think about it, and maybe you do better next time."
  — Ron Gore [07:01]

4. Community Invitation

• Ron invites listeners to share their own stories of emotional clumsiness, especially as they relate to co-parenting, sparking a sense of community and shared learning.

  "I would love if you could, in the comments, tell me a situation that's kind of like that for you...especially if it's related to co-parenting."
  — Ron Gore [07:20]

Memorable Quotes

• "As dumb as it sounds, the story that I'm about to tell you is totally true."
  — Ron Gore [00:01]
• "All of my energy is focused on this emotional context, and it's kind of like I lose all other control."
  — Ron Gore [01:07]
• "Even if you fall backwards out of your chair with the chair rolling over you in a crowded restaurant...that's not the end of the world."
  — Ron Gore [06:43]

Important Timestamps

• 00:01 – 02:30: Ron’s restaurant story: dropping utensils, physical mishap, public embarrassment.
• 02:31 – 04:20: Drawing the analogy between physical clumsiness and emotional clumsiness in co-parenting.
• 04:21 – 06:30: Encouragement to reflect on and learn from “clumsy” moments.
• 06:31 – 07:42: Light-hearted wrap-up, invitation for shared stories, reminder that such moments happen to everyone.

Tone & Language

Ron’s storytelling is candid, self-deprecating, and humorous—making complex emotional dynamics approachable. He uses relatable metaphors, encourages empathy for oneself, and maintains a hopeful, supportive tone throughout.

Summary Takeaway

The episode offers a heartfelt reminder: Emotional clumsiness happens, especially in high-stakes relationships like co-parenting. The important thing isn’t striving for perfection but rather acknowledging mistakes, learning from them, and being kind to yourself as you grow. Listeners are encouraged to share their own stories and join the conversation.