Coparent Academy Podcast

Episode #181: Depositions - The Most Important Discovery Tool in Family Law

Hosts: Ron Gore and Linda VanValkenburg
Date: October 13, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, family law attorney Ron Gore takes listeners deep into the world of depositions in family law. Challenging the perception that depositions are excessive or unnecessary, Ron makes the compelling case that depositions are, in fact, the most crucial discovery tool in family law cases. He methodically compares depositions to other discovery methods, shares practical insights from his experience, and discusses how depositions can be transformative—not just for cases, but for the co-parenting relationship and the wellbeing of children.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Types of Discovery Tools in Family Law

• Written Discovery Between Parties:

  • Requests for Admissions: Seek to have facts admitted or denied.
  • Interrogatories: Complex, open-ended questions (e.g., family history, financial info).
  • Requests for Production: Ask for documents, records, or inspection of tangible things (e.g., computers, vehicles, homes).

• Limitations of Written Discovery:

  • Answers are often mediated by attorneys, not given directly by the other parent.
  • Many responses are incomplete or delayed, requiring further legal action.
  • Legal objections are common and sometimes used to obstruct the process.
  • “The answers that you get back… are not going to be the answers really from the other parent to you. It's going to be massaged by their attorney… and you're getting a lot of obstructionism thrown in the way.” (Ron Gore, 02:09)

Third-Party Discovery

• Subpoena Duces Tecum: Request to third parties (e.g., banks, employers) for relevant records.
• Subpoena Testificandum: Forcing third parties to testify about the documents.

Why Depositions are Superior

• Directness & Efficiency:

  • Information comes “straight from the horse’s mouth” rather than filtered by attorneys.
  • Hundreds of questions can be asked within a typical six-hour deposition limit.
    • “You have the opportunity to ask not 30 requests… but hundreds of questions.” (Ron Gore, 08:23)

• Real-Time Follow-Ups:

  • Ability to ask immediate, probing follow-ups and clarify vague or editorialized responses.
  • Focus on adjectives/adverbs to reveal opinions or deeper truths.

• Cost vs. Benefit:

  • Despite arguments that depositions are expensive, Ron asserts the value gained far outweighs the cost, especially compared to the legal fees generated when addressing incomplete or obstructed written discovery responses.
  • Videographer costs (approximately $600–$1,000) are justified when they help obtain key evidence.

• Capturing Nuance:

  • Video depositions can be critical for capturing non-verbal cues—tone, hesitation, and evasiveness—that transcripts miss.
    • “The written record of the answers does not convey certain things… Having a videographer come and take the recording of the deposition can be a powerful tool.” (Ron Gore, 05:07)

The Purpose and Use of Depositions

• Uncovering the Truth:

  • Depositions allow both the “good” and “bad” to surface, ensuring all relevant facts are discovered.
  • Ron asks about the worst possible allegations—even those potentially damaging to his own client—to get a complete picture and address issues proactively.
    • “I always take the opportunity to inquire of the other parent all of the worst possible things about my client that could even potentially be true.” (Ron Gore, 09:23)

• Enabling Healing & Change:

  • Sometimes depositions reveal his own client is the “problem”—crucial for intervening early, providing help, and improving parenting outcomes.
    • “It's horrible. I hate to find out that my client’s the problem. But it’s also wonderful… now it gives me the opportunity to address those deficits.” (Ron Gore, 10:35)
  • The ultimate goal: ensure both parents can be “healthy and prepared to be a parent,” which directly benefits the child.

Ethics and Misconceptions

• Litigation Abuse Concerns:
  • Some view depositions as abusive or unnecessarily costly. Ron counters that when conducted with the goal of truth-seeking and improvement, depositions are invaluable.
    • “If it's done properly, with the right intentions of identifying the issues so that they can be fixed… the deposition is actually an incredible tool for justice and for healing.” (Ron Gore, 11:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Downside of Written Discovery:

  • “There are going to be lots of objections that are really ridiculous objections, honestly, that if you went to litigate about it, you would wind up getting the answer. But it's going to cost you a lot of money.” (Ron Gore, 02:36)

• On Using Video Depositions:

  • “If you have an opponent party… not going to be cooperative, then having a videographer can accomplish one of two things. One, knowing that they're on video, they're actually going to be more cooperative… Or if they're not cooperative, now you have the video of them being not cooperative.” (Ron Gore, 05:23)

• On Discovering Tough Truths:

  • “There have been multiple times when, because of a deposition, I've learned that my client's the problem. Right. That's horrible. I hate to find out that my client's the problem. But it's also wonderful because now it gives me the opportunity to address those deficits.” (Ron Gore, 10:35)

• On the Ultimate Aim:

  • “That's why I perceive it to be every parent's obligation to do everything they can to help the other parent become a better parent. And part of the litigation process is to identify what those deficiencies are… and get that process moving.” (Ron Gore, 11:12)

• On the Value of Depositions:

  • "There is no better tool to get to the truth of the matter in a family law case and to get the services in place… than a deposition. It's absolutely, hands down the best tool.” (Ron Gore, 11:47)

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Explaining Discovery and Its Challenges:
  00:00–04:00
• Deposition Process, Video Depositions, and Costs:
  04:00–07:00
• Deposition Rules, Objections, and Advantages:
  07:00–09:00
• Depth of Questioning and Addressing Serious Allegations:
  09:00–10:45
• Growth and Rehabilitation in Coparenting via Depositions:
  10:45–12:00
• Ethical Use and Rebuttal to Litigation Abuse Claims:
  11:55–12:15

Summary

Ron Gore delivers a nuanced, practical, and ethically grounded argument for depositions as the apex discovery tool in family law cases. He explains the inefficiencies and pitfalls of written discovery and demonstrates how depositions can cut through obfuscation, accelerate resolution, and surface critical facts. More than a legal tactic, Ron frames depositions as part of a holistic approach to help all parties—especially the children—emerge healthier and better prepared for positive coparenting.
He encourages listeners to share their own experiences and questions, aiming to foster a community of learning and support.

For listener interaction:
“Let me know in the comments if you have any experience with depositions and family law cases… Do you disagree that depositions should be used…? I've heard some people say that… but it's truly not. If it's done properly… the deposition is actually an incredible tool for justice and for healing if it's done right.” (Ron Gore, 11:55)