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Keith Olbermann
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Keith Olbermann
Olbermann is a production of iHeartRadio. After perhaps the most hapless 96 hours of his presidency the most hapless worst 96 hours of the worst presidency of all time. The most famous fail in the shortest span the mentally deteriorating untethered from reality Trump must resign and take his idiot sycophants with him. The last 96 hours his UN speech sounding like an escapee from a psych ward His Tylenol news conference sounding like an escapee from a psych ward who's been living on the street for a month his suggestion NATO countries shoot down Russian jets His sudden embrace of Zelensky either another stall or a stall stupid dare to Putin maga's rage at his sudden embrace of Zelensky the COVID of a London right wing daily his picture on it in 72 point type the word deranged the ice shooting in Dallas his sadistic homeland chief pretending the victims were agents when they were detainees his idiot simpering vice president pretending the victims were agents when they were detainees his corrupt venal cross eyed FBI director pretending the victims were agents when they were detain his ICE chief not denying he took $50,000 in a paper bag his staff then denying the man took $50,000 in a paper bag his cancellation of a meeting with Democrats making certain that if there is a government shutdown it is all his fault. His crackpot pal Milei of the sideburns crashing the Venezuelan economy and needing us to bail him out his paranoia over the stopped teleprompter at the UN that was the White House staff's fault. His paranoia over the stopped escalator at the UN that was his own vanity videographer's fault his desire to arrest the UN escalator technician or the UN escalator button pusher his desire to arrest the escalator and James Comey the election of Raul Grijalva's daughter to Congress the fact that Adelita Grijalva will be the last representative needed to force a vote on releasing the Trump Epstein files his self humiliation at the Kirk Memorial ABC reinstating Jimmy Kimmel meaning Disney told him to f off meaning the National Football League told him to f off meaning they all told his propagandists at Sinclair to f off Kimmel then shoving him in a locker using only a monologue Kimmel Getting a record 6 million viewers and 22 more million online in just the first 20 hours Kimmel and his show getting new life and maybe a new contract. His self owning confession that he and his goons used threats to get Kimmel canceled. Except they didn't get Kimmel canceled. The fact that Kimmel and ABC and Bob Iger and Disney and America told Trump to shove his threats up his ass. And that's just since Sunday night. Resignation Take Vance with you, take Gnome with you, take home man with you, take Millay with you. Leave the Epstein files he lost to a escalator. Let me start with the biggest surprise.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Of all of these things.
Keith Olbermann
Remember the South African pastor who woke up from a dream couple weeks back and proclaimed there would be a rapture at sunset in Israel, which would have been 11:36am this Tuesday? I think there was a rapture because.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Something sure disappeared into the sky the.
Keith Olbermann
Hours before and after that sunset. And that something was Trump's feeling of invulnerability.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
That collection of disasters that's two dozen.
Keith Olbermann
In four days is worse than it.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Seems, because they are all self owns, all of them. Mistakes, self delusions, obsessions, self indulgences, destructions.
Keith Olbermann
Quicksand that Trump and Trump alone could voluntarily dive into an average of one every four hours.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Kimmel looms above, around and behind every one of them, and I'll get to.
Keith Olbermann
Him in a moment.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
But cause to paraphrase the Baseball hall.
Keith Olbermann
Of Famer and builder Rube Foster, Kimmel is the ship. All else is the sea.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
However, the Zelensky surprise is the most.
Keith Olbermann
Meaningful because we have yet to hear Putin's reaction.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
And the silence lends more credence to the the theory that this is just.
Keith Olbermann
Another new, admittedly novel way for Trump to further stall on Putin's behalf.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
And even if it isn't, it still included Trump's insistence that any action taken and any money spent be taken and.
Keith Olbermann
Spent by Europe, including shooting down Russian.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Planes or drones during incursions over Poland, Estonia, maybe Denmark, maybe wherever's next. Nothing for us to worry about here, of course, because we have an ocean between us. And as another president once asked rhetorically, shall we expect some transatlantic military giant to step the ocean and crush us at a blow?
Keith Olbermann
Never.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
All the armies could not by force.
Keith Olbermann
Take a drink from the Ohio or.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Make a track on the Blue Ridge in a trial of a thousand years. Of course, the president who said that was Lincoln, and he said it in 1839, and there were no airplanes or rockets or battleships or submarines in 1839. And apparently either Trump has not yet found out that there are now airplanes and rockets and battleships and submarines. Or, more likely, Trump still thinks it's still 1839. The Grijalva election, of course, will be the most meaningful going forward, because the new representative is not only the daughter of as quiet and effective and strategic a progressive as the House has had in this century, my friend Raul Grijalva. But she has said that the day she is sworn in by the speaker, she will sign on to the Massie motion to force a House vote on releasing the Epstein files. Massie has 217 votes. Right now, he needs 218. Adelita Grijalva will be number 218. And this now means that to stop the vote and stop putting his pet speaker, Mike Johnson, in an untenable position, Trump has only one option then, which is to force Johnson and House Republicans to actually shut the government down. Because a government shutdown delays swearing in Adelita Grijalva, vote number 218, and delaying swearing in Adelita Grijalva may be Trump's last way out of the the Epstein files.
Keith Olbermann
And now to the Gettysburg Address of late night comedy monologue monologues. The I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take in any more of late night comedy monologues. The ten Commandments of late night comedy monologues. I can confess this now. I really thought even Jimmy Kimmel, who makes my napalming of bridges look like nothing, was returning to save the jobs of his staff and the other 200 people or so whose livelihoods depend on his show still existing. I. I thought he would pull a lot of punches, or a couple, or maybe one, or at minimum not do a monologue so searing, so masterful, so declaring of his ownership of Trump, that Jimmy had to take a commercial break in the middle of it before he even got to the part about Robert De Niro playing in perfect form a mafioso version of FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr. Well, I got that wrong, huh? If that was done without Bob Iger's approval, I'll be just as shocked and just as wrong. Again, he knew that was coming. Is it a compromise? Maybe, Jim, you say whatever you want now and we'll just shut the show down in a year. Or is it Iger waking up to the fact that the $16 million settlement bribe with Trump bought him nothing? Nothing but more trouble, nothing but more threats, nothing but more blackmail? Was it Iger's realization that he chairs the leading entertainment company in the country? And Trump's true approval rating is down to around 32% here? And even most right Wingers realized that if Trump could get Kimmel fired, President Fritzker or President Aoc will be able to get everybody at Fox News fired and maybe all of their podcasts canceled. What is Ted Cruz if there is no Ted Cruz podcast? He's just an idiot asshole Senator. Doesn't matter which it was either way or any other way. This is a landmark moment. This is a bullying victim coming back and hitting Scott Farkas Trump in the nuts. And better than that, after Trump's long suffering perpetual rake stepping minions spent a week insisting Trump had nothing to do with it and Brendan Goebbels Carr had nothing to do with it and the FCC had nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with Kimmel. Sidelining Trump then boasted that he and Carr and the FCC had not only done it, they thought that ABC had surrendered. Quote, I can't believe ABC Fake News gave Jimmy Kimmel his job back. The White House was told by ABC that his show was canceled. That's a confession. Something happened between then and now because his audience is gone and his talent was never there. He's wrong about that too, as the numbers will show. Why would they want someone back who does so poorly? All things considered, more people watch Kimmel than watch Trump's inauguration this year. Why would they want some of the Magda? Probably not funny. Puts the network in jeopardy, but puts the network in jeopardy. What does he mean? Oh, he is yet another arm of the dnc and to the best of my knowledge, that would be a major illegal contribution. A legal campaign contribution.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
I think we're gonna test ABC out on this. Well, there are no laws that would allow him to test this out. So what's the plan?
Keith Olbermann
Let's see how we do. Last time I went after them, they gave me dollar sign. $16 million.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
This one sounds even more lucrative. A true bunch of losers let Jimmy.
Keith Olbermann
Kimmel rot in his bad ratings.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Yeah.
Keith Olbermann
He didn't have bad ratings. He had four times his normal ratings.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
It's one thing if you bully a company into bribing you because it has business before the FTC or FCC or.
Keith Olbermann
Any other government agency, you have perverted into mini politburos using Trump brand coercion. It's another though, you have convinced yourself that the bribes these other people paid to shut you up for 10 minutes were in fact something you earned in some way or something that a court.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Awarded to you in some way. Trump should sue ABC over Kimmel and then Kimmel should sue the FCC for.
Keith Olbermann
Tortious interference and ABC should sue the FCC and Sinclair and nexstar for damages. All right, they don't have to.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
I haven't worked in local news since 1991 at a local station since the end of 1991. But guess what? The local station arrangement hasn't changed all that much.
Keith Olbermann
Local stations that are not owned by the networks used to regularly silence network shows. The Smothers Brothers used to be preempted.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
The ABC evening news wasn't considered good enough for like Zanesville, Ohio, every late night show of the 60s and 70s. At some point on February 5, 1969, Channel 5, the ABC station in Cleveland, allegedly bailed out of the network's new comedy show Turn on during the first commercial break. But then, and it turns out now this comes at a price. If you are an ABC affiliate and you do not run an ABC show, you have to pay a postponement fee each time you don't run it. In Kimmel's case, that's five nights a week. And if you cancel enough network shows, ABC has the right to cancel your contract. And the next thing you know, Sinclair stations aren't running Dancing with the Stars or any Sports or the 2027 Super bowl, but non Sinclair stations in the same cities are. Oh, and even before that, in the short run, if the Sinclair station will not show Kimmel long term, ABC can offer it to other stations in those markets for like $2 an episode. Don't bring a tweet to a businessman's fight Trump, by the way, this is how unprepared MAGA was for a full 100% humiliation, an extinction level loss, an ass kicking like Kimmel and ABC utterly destroying Trump as he did the attempt to both sides. This thing. Stephen Miller's wife Katie got off of her broom and screamed that the left didn't scream free speech when Tucker Carlson was canceled. So there neglecting obviously that Carlson had a cable show. And the worst any government could ever do to a cable show is to threaten the Fox broadcast station licenses, which wouldn't have done a thing to Fox News and very little to Rupert Murdoch. So other MAGA then moved on from Tucker Carlson a losing comp to asking why the left didn't scream free speech when Lou Dobbs was fired. Again, cable, no FCC jurisdiction. Plus Carlson and Dobbs were fired by Rupert Murdoch entirely by surprise, entirely without government prodding or pushing or posting or podcasts in which the head of the.
Keith Olbermann
FCC says we could do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
That's my impression of Ted Cruz doing an ethnic accent Incidentally, Lou Dobbs is dead now. And I always heard that he'd had enough event at Fox or events at Fox that they had to act that it wasn't just editorial. He had an event when I was at cnn. He had an event in Atlanta involving CNN management. The head of CNN sports, My boss, Bill McPhail took Dobbs wife off long form sports anchoring after she walked off a show in the middle live when she got irretrievably lost trying to read the script and worse, read the prompter. Dobbs allegedly then burst into Bill McPhail's office and told him to stand up and start throwing punches. Dobbs challenged him to a fist fight. Dobbs was 38 and Bill McPhail was 63. Anyway, that's, that's the best they had. Tucker Carlson and Lou Dobbs and Trump confessing to personally using the government to attack the free press, part of the First Amendment. And then of course, all of Those viewers, what, 22, nearly 23 million viewers combined for Jimmy Kimmel. And now ABC is thinking maybe we want to give him a new 10 year contract also. Who was that? Who told you Kimmel was coming back before the end of the month? Maybe before the end of the week.
Keith Olbermann
Okay, What? Before the Tylenol idiocy, Trump and anybody he might have told bought Advil stock. Since that disaster, hours have been spent analyzing Trump and Tylenol and Internet rumors being inflated to the level of a presidential news conference when the whole thing could have been summarized by this simple. Tylenol was introduced in 1955. Autism was discovered, classified, defined in 1943. Of all the stupid arguments in the world, to argue Tylenol causes autism is stupider even than it would be to argue that autism caused Tylenol. What's more, that news conference was not what he and pantsless Bobby Kennedy had reportedly agreed upon. Politico has quoted a series of White House sources who said Trump overruled even the quacks that masturbating Bob relied on to go on and try to make sure that people got sick the way that Trump made sure people got sick during COVID I'll quote Politico. The initial plan was to release a literature review on the state of research into autism causes and treatment options on September 29th. Tylenol is one of 31 hypotheses. Next, they planned an announcement that working groups would begin new studies next year. They expected initial findings from those efforts. To their frustration, Trump wanted to move forward anyway. Politico didn't say that but of course, moving forward anyway amounted to Trump just standing there yelling, don't take Tylenol. Don't take Tylenol. Take what I take paint thinner. It is in retrospect surprising that Trump didn't declare the makers of Tylenol to be a domestic terrorist organization. He did that to Antifa even though a there is no such organization. It's like declaring short people to be a terrorist organization or, to be fair, declaring tall people to be a terrorist organization or men who wear eyeliner to be a terrorist organization. The President also has no legal right or route to declare anything a domestic terrorist organization. Congressman Dan Goldman pretty much summed this up and pretty much stuffed Trump into yet another locker. He's asking Trump via social media, quote, name one member of Antifa if it explicitly calls for the overthrow of the US Government. Where can I find that statement? Trump, Goldman says, is trying to suppress opposition by labeling anyone who dissents as a domestic terrorist. Do not be fooled. This is lawless and unconstitutional. And of course, now Trump may yet declare building maintenance and teleprompter operations at the United nations terrorist organizations. He posted a nice calm 1000 word run on paragraph at sunset last night about arresting somebody for something.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
I mean, maybe they can charge Jim Comey with this.
Keith Olbermann
I think it actually improves the story to tell the conclusion first. The reality is reported by the Associated Press UN correspondent Farnush Amiri. Quote, a UN official said the UN understands that someone from the President's party who ran ahead of him inadvertently triggered the stop mechanism on the escalator. Says don't run on escalators or escalator will stop. That's what happened. She continues, the official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the White House was operating the teleprompter for Trump. This, of course, did not stop the Trump's freak shows of paranoids, conspiracy theorists, idiots, Bullshit Artists and St. Paulie Beer Girl Press secretaries from insisting the thing with the escalator was really an assassination attempt. Caroline, live it. If someone at the UN intentionally stopped the escalator as the President and First lady were stepping on, they need to be fired and investigated immediately. The Times reported this on Sunday to mark Trump's arrival. UN Staff members have joked they may.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Turn off the escalators and elevators and.
Keith Olbermann
Simply tell him they ran out of.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Money so he has to walk up the stairs. Cute, Caroline. And it's nice that you recognize the.
Keith Olbermann
Word elevator or escalator in there.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Except what they're saying here is that they were going to turn them all off so he'd have to walk up.
Keith Olbermann
From the front door, which as we.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Know is medically impossible. They didn't say something about stopping the escalator after he got on, but those words from Caroline Levitt. It's one of the rare times when Caroline Levitt does not look like the biggest asshole in the bunch. The guy Cernovich. What happened today at the UN was.
Keith Olbermann
A dry run for an assassination. Our enemies were able to see the.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Reaction, or lack thereof. Trump was a sitting duck.
Keith Olbermann
Extreme measures must now be taken against.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
The UN including leaving the UN Totally. Mike Lee, Senator from the Internet. Is the UN trying to give us.
Keith Olbermann
A hint by orchestrating escalator and teleprompter malfunctions or is this just random coincidence?
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Either way, we should defund the un. Mike also believes nobody knows he has a comb over Brendan Dilley, who's an influencer for morons. If we discover that the UN deliberately.
Keith Olbermann
Turned off the escalator and risked injuring.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
The President and First lady, we should bomb them. All of them. Presume he means the individual nations in the un or he means over there to Tudor City in Manhattan, right across the street from a Trump building. Gotta tell you, one of the safest places in the city, when Trump finally loses it and stops starts, you know, blowing things up in the country, one of the safest places will be in the UN because it's across the street from the Trump UN Plaza, Wall Street Mav, which I believe is one of those India bots or it's a guy in India who's an influencer, gets paid for this. Trump's escalator stopped as soon as he stepped on it. Then his teleprompter goes out right when he starts his speech. No way those were accidents. I'd bet UN staff, which wouldn't have jobs without our taxes, conspired to embarrass President Trump. Now why would they waste their time doing that when as I just mentioned, Trump embarrassed himself 24 times in 96 hours. You do not need to embarrass Donald Trump. He is self embarrassing, a muse. Poetic justice. Someone thought it would be funny to break the escalator as soon as Trump stepped on. Presumably the same people broke his teleprompter just as he began his 15 minute speech. Due to the malfunction, Trump extended his speech is speech an additional 40 minutes. Those who sought to silence him were awarded with almost an hour of solid gold from the President. I hope you mean solid gold, actual gold, cuz there was none of it in the speech. And of course the Alex's chime in. Alex Brucewicz is either in the government or is a government adjacent guy. Someone very clearly tried to sabotage Trump at the un. Completely unacceptable. Someone must be held accountable. Yeah, apparently it was one White House photographer and whoever runs prompter Alex Jones sabotage escalator at the UN HQ stops abruptly when Trump steps onto it and teleprompter malfunctions because before he begins speaking, when you read a whole bunch of conspiracy theorists and only Alex Jones sticks to the facts or close to the facts, you know, we have a serious problem in this country. And then lastly, Harmeet K. Dhillon, the woman from the west coast who is, I don't know, deputy secretary of not doing anything simply writes deport the UN on Fox. Jesse Waters says this is an insurrection and what we need to do is either leave the UN or we need to bomb them. There is some evidence that Waters was trying to make a joke there, but it's hard to confirm because everything that Bill O'Reilly's former errand boy does is a joke. Besides, if that were a liberal saying something like that, even in jest, there, there would be an immediate demand that the FBI or the FCC or the NCAA investigate that threat of violence. And the demand would come from Jesse Waters.
Keith Olbermann
So ultimately, amid all of this paranoia, somebody has to say this, and it might as well be me. Boy, that escalatored quickly. Also of interest here. So the New York Post is making stuff up about me again. This is a ritual as old as time itself. They've been doing it since the 90s. The bullshit machine is pointed at a different liberal every day of the week. Or maybe every week of the year. It's my turn again, and Derek Van Orden wants to defund. No, not the U.N. the Mayo Clinic. Because Charlie Kirk. Because Charlie Kirk is Jesus. And you don't f with the Jesus. That's next.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
This is countdown.
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Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
This is Countdown with Keith Olbermann.
Keith Olbermann
Still ahead on this edition of countdown. Yes, Brendan Carr of the FCC should be investigated, impeached and if possible Prosecuted for threatening ABC, ABC News, Disney, Jimmy Kimmel, etc. And for whatever quid pro quo existed between him and the nexstar Sinclair people that he only revealed in public on a podcast. But other than that, face it, Kimmel and ABC single handedly defeated MAGA on this one and defeated Trump on this one and defeated all of their angry, stupid, terrified minions, especially the ones at Fox News and the other Murdoch crap shacks. So naturally they need new targets. And I'm beginning to suspect I've seen these tea leaves before, that it's my turn again to be a Murdoch target. The New York Post has invented two stories about me. This week alone, they have given somebody named Isabel Vincent to the task of calling people I used to work with to talk about me. She's recently been doing mop up operations, trying to whitewash the hate speech of the late Charlie Kirk. And her bio says she began by covering Pablo Escobar and the Medellin drug cartel. So poor Izzy must have really hit the skids if she's being forced to call people I worked with in 2005. Hey, you know what? Call the people I worked with at fox Sports in 99 and 2000 and 2001. Call them and ask them if Murdoch really is still resentful that he had to pay me $9 million in that deal. Anyway. The Post, for that reason and many others, has been making up and distorting.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Stuff about me since literally 1996.
Keith Olbermann
I think it was when I refuted a story they made up and distorted about two hockey stars I was with the night of the ESPY Awards. I wasn't even mentioned. They just lied about these two guys.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Eric Lindros was one of them. Every year or so it's somebody else from the Post writing something else that isn't true but isn't legally actionable. Except for the time they literally made up an entire story about me after Tim Russert died and the Post actually.
Keith Olbermann
Ran away, scared under the threat of.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Lawsuit and published nothing. The saga of the New York Post and Rupert Murdoch making things up about.
Keith Olbermann
Me for now 30 years next in.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Things I've promised not to tell first. Believe it or not, there's still more new idiots to talk about.
Keith Olbermann
The roundup of the miscreants, morons and.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Dunning krugerfect specimens who constitute today's other.
Keith Olbermann
Worst persons in the world.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Laron's Jason Whitlock, who used to be a sports writer, he had his own vertical@espn.com, if you can believe that. And he didn't get anything published. And I mean, he had months. I never got this Internet, part of the Internet. The idea that you could have months to publish something and still not get anything done. I mean, on the air, the show starts at 8 o', clock, whether you're ready or not. Well, I'll be here in eight months from now. Eight o', clock, but I'm going to need eight months to prepare this show in Any event, Jason Whitlock smelled more money in fascism and got fired from ESPN and everything else in the real world. And he now writes crap like this quote, what you're witnessing is Christian nationalism. If you're ashamed of it, that's your problem, not mine. You've been brainwashed by Marxists. They all learned a new word, Marxist. You've been brainwashed by Marxists to believe that wanting government respectful of Jesus Christ is a bad thing. I've rejected the brainwashing. This memorial is awesome. A correction, J Dub. It's Christofascism, not Christian nationalism. And of course you've rejected the brainwashing. Can't be brainwashed if you have no brain left to wash, fella. Runner up, Congressman Derek Van Orden of Wisconsin. Same problem. An HR guy who works somewhere in the vast organization that is the Mayo Clinic tweeted some of the things Charlie Kirk actually said. And then after that memorial that got Jason all chubby, the memorial service and Trump grievance show last weekend in Arizona. This guy from the Mayo Clinic, on a private account, by the way, referred to the widow as the winner of an acting award. Robby Starbuck, one of Kirk's henchmen, then outed the man and demanded that the Mayo Clinic fire him. Not enough for Derek Van Orden.
Keith Olbermann
We will be working to remove every.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Single penny of federal funding from the Mayo Clinic unless this is resolved. Well, of course, if you're gonna support RFK Jr. Everybody's gonna be dead anyway. Don't need any more clinics. One way to cut down on hospitalizations. Have everybody follow Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Right off the effing cliff. We will be working to remove every single penny of federal funding from the Mayo Clinic unless this is resolved. He did not add, my head hurts. My head really hurts. Won't somebody help me? Van Orden then went on a radio show that the Mayo Clinic was inciting violence. Derek Van Orden has so many stories, just the ones I've covered here, of this severe anger management problem that I say this with actual sincerity. I don't think he can be trusted with a position of responsibility in a bakery, let alone a government. But just as sincerely, he's got PTSD going big time, probably from his service. Maybe it's cte. In fact, the only thing he should be doing about the Mayo Clinic is going to it. But the winner. Speaking of paranoia, Kristi Noem. You know her? Kristi Noem is Tom. $50,000. Homan's boss.
Keith Olbermann
Gavin Newsom's social media manager. Tweeted that Kristi Noem was gonna have a bad day. And of course, apropos of the Post's latest crap about me, this is a phrase. She's going to have a bad day. This is a phrase that MAGA and Trump and the Trumpists get to use every damn day about every liberal and every politician. But if it's used by others about MAGA or Trump, it's a death threat. Now, I agree it's bad phrasing. There's no reason to leave the slightest impression of violence, even when it's an incorrect impress. I did that myself this week. I wasn't careful enough. You have to remember it's a bad time for that. Plus, the great dirty secret of the right wingers is they are utter snowflakes. Holy cow. And they're looking for things to make a big deal out of. They always need somebody evil on the other side. And the idea that they're soft is church music evidence of that. Christina her response to Fox about that tweet. The tweet that foretold she'd have a bad day, which turned out to be because they knew the Tom Holman story was about to break. Quoting her it was cryptic and it was really menacing. It immediately panicked my family and friends. Well, Christy, I'm giving you this. It was cryptic, but A you don't have any friends. B if that's really menacing to you, you need to get to a convent or somewhere. Or at least, I mean, I don't know. A convent sounds like a good idea. I mean, you'd have a lot of explaining to do before they let you in the convent, but they're forgiving people.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Even.
Keith Olbermann
Even if I was just thinking of the guy with the Trump campaign, that she's her advisor, her confidant. You need to get into a convent because you're just not meant for this society.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
You never know when someone might come.
Keith Olbermann
Up to you and say you're gonna have a bad day, and then you immediately go into cardiac seizure or something. But on this part about it panicked my family and friends, did it panic them more or less than the day at your house when you picked up a shotgun and went hunting for and then murdered your daughter's puppy? Christy I kill innocent animals and then boast about it in my autobiography, probably in hopes of appealing to Trump and showing him I'm a sadist gnome. Today's other worst person and world.
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Keith Olbermann
To the number one story on the Countdown. And my favorite topic, me and things I promised not to tell. And here we go again. Rupert Murdoch's quote, news outlets unquote, shooting themselves in the groin yet again while they were aiming at me. A little timeline is required on this one. April 1865, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, was assassinated. May 2020, maybe earlier. May 2020 was the earliest I remembered or found. Trump started claiming he had been treated far worse than Abraham Lincoln had. March 16, 2024, Trump said it again. Then Biden Harris headquarters tweets the clip, adding, trump says he's been treated worse than Abraham Lincoln, who was assassinated. Also March 16, 2024, I retweeted that, adding, there's always the hope. March 18, 2024, Fox News publishes a story first headlined, Keith Olbermann Appears to hope for Trump Assassination. But the headline was then changed to Keith Olbermann sparks outrage by hinting at Trump assassination With a blue stripe over my face reading Blue bloodbath. Meaning on some level, I am the same as Trump. To the New York Post and the Fox News and all the rest of Murdoch's outlets. Well, I was tempted to answer this by saying I was just referring to the auto industry. In reality, obviously, I was and am hoping that Trump will be right and that he will be treated worse than Abraham Lincoln. Something worse than assassination, which would be that Trump is convicted and dies in prison. I don't know how many times I have said this, maybe more than Trump's ludicrous charge that he's been treated worse than Lincoln. I may have actually said it more than he has said that. I think I first said, I hope he dies in prison. I expect he dies in prison in 2016. This is because I hope he dies in prison. But of course, the point of this is Murdoch and Fox and especially the New York Post have been doing this to me since about 1996, always, always getting it wrong, ever since I caught the Post in a lie that year about a couple of hockey players that it claimed had been thrown out a New York City bar for knocking over tables to the horror of customers, when in fact I was with them. And they left the place in their own form of horror because as one of them, Eric Lindros, stood up, he almost knocked over the chair he was sitting in. He said to the other, John LeClaire, I think I've had enough. We gotta go home, Johnny. And they politely left, but not before asking if I needed a lift. In 2001, the Post slammed me because I attended a New York Mets game while wearing cargo shorts. A few years later, the Post showed a picture somebody had snapped of me leaning against one of the gates of Central park here in New York and said I was alone and depressed. Actually, I was alone and early to.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
My dental appointment across the street, and.
Keith Olbermann
I was trying to talk myself into actually going into my doctor's office. There was a brief interruption in the year, during the two and a half years or so that I worked for.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Murdoch in sports, a brief interruption in these constantly hilarious stories before Murdoch personally.
Keith Olbermann
Fired me, after I had reported, with his office's full approval in advance, that.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
He was working behind the scenes to.
Keith Olbermann
Sell the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team, which he was.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Murdoch later boasted about firing me, but he didn't say that.
Keith Olbermann
He didn't boast about it until after.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
He had sold the LA Dodgers baseball team.
Keith Olbermann
The origin of the Post's quarter century.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Of badly aimed shots at me stems from that firing. When Murdoch fired me, his minions did it slowly, in stages, over the course of a couple of days, in hopes.
Keith Olbermann
That they could get me angry and.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Bait me into attacking Fox and News Corp.
Keith Olbermann
In the newspapers so that then they.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Could fire me for cause. That way they wouldn't owe me the rest of the money on my contract. Instead, as I've mentioned here before, given the choice between waiting eight months to insult someone and getting a lot of money or getting no money and yelling.
Keith Olbermann
At them right now, I'll always wait the eight months.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
I remained quiet for eight lovely months, and Rupert had to pay me $100,000 a month to do that. Best job I ever had. So whenever this happens and somebody says.
Keith Olbermann
Why don't you sue Murdoch? Sue News Corp. Sue the New York.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Post, I always say, what kind of money could I get from them that.
Keith Olbermann
Could hurt them more than that? $800,000 back in 2001.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Also, most of the stuff they do is so hilariously wrong, like the Worse.
Keith Olbermann
Than Lincoln story, that it's transparently desperate.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
But twice they threatened me with stories that I had to take some action about. Once they completely made one up, and once they ran a story, even though the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security specifically asked them not to run it. The obligatory reminder before I tell you those two stories, you should never believe.
Keith Olbermann
Any source story you read in the New York Post, or indeed on any.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Media outlet owned by the Murdochs like Fox. They occasionally report real things, but just.
Keith Olbermann
As often they make stuff up.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Not exaggerate or get slightly wrong or twist, but utterly fabricate on April 11, 2005.
Keith Olbermann
The New York Post was to run.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Exactly the kind of story I'm talking about. Only under threat of multiple lawsuits did they actually spike it. I hadn't told this story before, but I was reminded of it. I think going through the mechanics of it will illustrate just how evil an organization, News Corp. Actually is, and more importantly, how unreliable it is as a source of news. As a New York Post Page Six gossip story. This one, though, had everything. It attacked msnbc, it had quotes from.
Keith Olbermann
Informed sources, and even at one point.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
It had a witness. Now, the witness disappeared during the evolution of this story, but at one point it had a witness. It had somebody prominent insulting Peter Jennings, the newscaster, right after he had revealed he had lung cancer. And it was constructed in such a way that if I did not comment on it, they could print the story, then come back the next day, rehash.
Keith Olbermann
It, and add that I was still.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Refusing to comment on it. But there was one overriding problem. It was a complete fabrication, and thus it was full of events that didn't happen and people who did not exist. New York Post Page Six contacted MSNBC's then media relations guy, Jeremy Gaines, on Thursday, April 7, 2005, with the following. Keith Olbermann, a frequent critic of President Bush, had refused to anchor the coverage of the death of Pope John Paul ii, pretended to be ill, and called in sick instead. There was, as I suggested earlier, a major problem here. I had anchored the coverage of the death of Pope John Paul ii. I had been anchoring the primetime coverage for hours each weeknight, day after day, leading up to the pontiff's passing. There were viewers who had seen me. There were studio staffers. Carl Bernstein was there. He was the in studio papal expert. He was on the air with me every night for, like, six nights in a row. There were videotapes. Joe Torrey, then the manager of the New York Yankees, called me to compliment me on my reverential coverage of the Pope's illness. That did not stop the New York Post in the first version that Page Six told us it was going to print. Their unnamed source had been on board an Amtrak Acela train going from Washington, D.C. to New York, sitting near my agent as my agent talked to somebody on a cell phone. This is apparently a very favorite construction when the New York Post wants to make up a story about somebody. Their witness said. My agent complained that I had had a, quote, meltdown after, quote, calling in sick rather than anchoring the papal coverage, which I anchored. But there was more. Alderman, a frequent Critic of the President's policies said it was better in sports. They quoted my agent quoting me into the phone, I'll be dealing with this all day. Now, apart from the fact that I had anchored the coverage, they said I had not anchored, there was another major flaw in this story. My agent was not on a train from Washington to New York on the day in question, or the week in question, or the month, or in fact, the year in question. My agent told me she thought she had once been on a train from Washington to New York in the year 1967. My agent at that time lived atop Mount Shasta in California and so seldom left there that when she once drove to town to get the mail, I asked her for the details of her trip because I jokingly suggested to her we should lead the newscast with it.
Keith Olbermann
So the next day, Friday, April 8, 2005, New York Post Page Six came back with a different version of this same story. They had misheard their source, of course. It wasn't my agent on the train from D.C. to New York. It was a woman who worked for my agent, a woman named Susan. A woman named Susan whom I had, they would report, already phoned three times that morning, and I was to meet her urgently at the boathouse in Central park, presumably because meeting her in the middle of Penn Station when she got off that train would have been a little too public. MSNBC's Jeremy Gaines responded again with some irrefutable refutations. Nobody named Susan worked for my agent. In fact, nobody at all worked for my agent. She was independent. She had a working relationship with a small agency in Los Angeles, and bas basically, they covered her phone calls when she was on vacation, which she almost never was because she never left the top of Mount Effing Shasta. We called that agency, and they confirmed that not only did they not have anybody working for them named Susan, but nobody from that agency was even on the east coast or had been so far that entire year. At this point, I called the television columnist of the New York Post, and Off the Record explained to him that I was kind of furious and this time I was actually going to sue, but that NBC was far angrier than I was and that they were going to sue as well and sue the editor of Page Six personally. I calmly went through the facts of this. This guy, the TV guy, had a conscience. He sighed. He said he got those kind of calls more often than I would believe. And I said, no, I believe it. And he said he would go to the editor of Page Six and explain Somebody was lying to him, the editor, and he was going to get himself sued into bankruptcy over a really obviously untrue and completely disproved story. Okay? So now a couple hours later, New York Post Page Six calls again, demanding a comment from me on the third different version of their exhaustive papal scoop. No. The woman their witness heard, who they first said was my agent, then said she had gotten it wrong. It was a woman named Susan who worked for my agent. She had now become a woman who worked for my agent whose name the witness never heard, but she was talking to somebody else named Susan. And there was an additional quote now thrown in. I'll be dealing this all day now. Had morphed into I'll be dealing with this all day now. The same week Peter Jennings makes his announcement about having lung cancer. This idiot, a frequent critic of President Bush, is sitting around in his pajamas calling me about this. I'll spare you how I know this was not true. It has something to do with the fact that I don't wear pajamas. Years later, a former gossip reporter in Murdoch's employ explained to me that his celebrity and gossip people are taught never to back down from a confrontation and that if the subject of one of their hit jobs fires back or tries to refute or especially threatens legal action to keep making the story worse and worse for them. Them. And in the first decade of this century, anyway, you were supposed to try to work in a defense of George W. Bush. But there's also what she said they called an emergency exit. If there is no question that the story is nonsensical, if the basic spine.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Of the story does not line up.
Keith Olbermann
With provable facts, just abandon it. Abandon it.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Don't tell the subject of your attack.
Keith Olbermann
That you are abandoning it. Just don't make any more phone calls. Don't send any more emails about it. Just vanish. Just disappear the story.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
And then send the name of the subject of the story that you've just.
Keith Olbermann
Punted, send it around to all the other Murdoc operations to see if they can come up with any dirt on the subject, to punish them for fighting.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Back against Rupert Murdoch's lies.
Keith Olbermann
So they abandoned the story. And it took the New York Post a year and a half to get me back and to get back the Department of Homeland security and the FBI. On September 26, 2006, I opened an envelope bearing a California postmark at my home in New York.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
I shouldn't have done it, but bluntly, I'll confess to this. I thought it was some baseball cards.
Keith Olbermann
I Had bought off ebay.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Well, it wasn't.
Keith Olbermann
The envelope contained a sticky substance, looked like drano mixed with talcum powder, and it fell out. An accompanying note said it was anthrax.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
And now I and other liberals would.
Keith Olbermann
Get a taste of our own medicine. Even reading those chilling words and having covered the actual anthrax letters terrorist attacks.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Of 2001 when I was with CNN.
Keith Olbermann
I knew it wasn't anthrax.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
The guy who supposedly sent the actual anthrax in 2001 was an expert in the field, and even he mishandled the stuff so badly that supposedly he gave himself anthrax and died of it. On the other hand, I know the odds were impossible.
Keith Olbermann
But what if I was wrong?
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
My apartment building was filled with little old ladies who had lived there since Roosevelt was president. I only assumed that meant Franklin, not Theodore.
Keith Olbermann
The odds were, I don't know, one in a billion that it was anthrax.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
But who was I to dismiss this one in a billion chance that these.
Keith Olbermann
Little old ladies were gonna get anthrax?
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Who was I to make that call? So instead, I made a call. I called the FBI.
Keith Olbermann
Well, it was quite an evening. The cops showed up. The FBI showed up. They said, of course it's not anthrax.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
But we have to act like it is. Welcome to our new world. The hazmat squad came in. They set up a command post in the building.
Keith Olbermann
They swept my apartment. They said, okay, now you have to go to the emergency room for tests.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
And I said, it's not anthrax. You just said so. And they said, if we have to do this, you have to do this, too. I laughed. Plus, if you don't, we can arrest you as a threat to public health.
Keith Olbermann
And we can make you go to the hospital. So out. I went into an ambulance dressed in.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
A hazmat suit one size too small that really. That really cut in the groin. I spent the night getting checked out. The FBI then called and said, it's like. It's like Drano with ivory soap flakes.
Keith Olbermann
But they also said there had been other letters that had arrived that night and the night before, sent to people like the chairman of cbs and David Letterman's office and Nancy Pelosi and some poor guy who happened to have the name Jon Stewart, who was not the Jon Stewart. And they couldn't make me do this. But it would really help if I did not report what happened on my TV show that night, just for the one day. Do it tomorrow. Because they had a lead on the guy who had sent all these letters, and they didn't want to scare him off. And I said, sure, I'm a patriot. The next day, while we were still observing the embargo on the story, my story, planning to run it at 8 o' clock at night, New York Post Page Six led with a picture of me with the headline Powder Puff Spooks Keith. And making sure to identify me as, quote, a frequent critic of President Bush's policies. The New York Post mocked me for not just assuming it was fake anthrax and ignoring it, and claimed I insisted the cops should take me to the hospital. Whether they gave him a lollipop on the way out isn't known. By the way, one of the actual anthrax Letters In 2001, one of the letters with actual anthrax in it that got some people sick and killed, a little old lady had been mailed to the New York Post and one of their staffers had contracted anthrax. And still this was their attitude towards anthrax threats. Anyway, as it turned out, there was a guy in California sending out these threatening letters, each with fake anthrax, to about a dozen people. He sent me four of them. Ultimately, I soon knew the FBI guys by their first names. I pointed out to FBI Doug that the last envelope I received had a barcode on it. Maybe they could track the guy that way. And he said, oh, you're right. And the next thing I knew, the FBI had just videotaped the suspect mailing yet another letter to me, the fifth from his home in Woodland Hills, California. And I swear to God, he actually lived in his mother's basement at age 37 or something. And FBI Doug said, do we have your permission to pull a letter out of the mailbox and open it? And I said, sure. And the next thing I knew, the guy was sentenced to prison for like 18 months, but not before FBI Doug said, by the way, that barcode you noticed connected to the post office here, and that's where we found his address. And we also found the fact that he purchased a postal money order for $15 made out to the Katherine Harris for Florida Senate campaign, if you remember her from Gore v. Bush and his online history. We looked that all up. It's all about how she, Catherine Harris, and some woman named Laura something or another. They are the most beautiful women in history. And I said, laura.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
Laura Ingram.
Keith Olbermann
And FBI Doug said, yeah, that's it, Laura Ingraham. And if that isn't 10 years of my life in one sentence, courtesy of the New York effing post. I don't know what is. And as I said earlier, the Post is cooking up something as we speak. It may be about my evil, evil tweets. I know it's. It's not something you're going to read. It's not something I'm going to read. It's like that Saturday Night Live sketch all those years ago about me and how terrible I was. I mean, it was so long and not interesting that I began to look for a hockey game in the middle of the sketch. And the sketch was about being Same thing with the Post. But I mean, it's not easy to find 40 pages of red meat to throw at Murdoch's idiot readers every day. I understand that. All right. I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Most of our Countdown music was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Chenale, our musical directors of Countdown. It was produced by TKO Brothers. Mr. Ray was on the guitar's bass and drums. Mr. Chenale handled orchestration and keyboard. That's them playing now. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The old rimmin theme from ESPN2, written by Mitch Warren Davis, courtesy of ESPN Inc. Is the sports music. Other music arranged and performed by the group no horns allowed. My announcer today was my friend Larry David, and everything else was, as always, my fault. Sorry for the hoarseness. It was dog grooming day at the house and so the air is thick with small doggy hair. I don't think Walter Cronkite ever said.
Keith Olbermann (Co-host or secondary voice)
That on his show.
Keith Olbermann
That's Countdown for today. Day 249 of America held hostage just 1,224 days until the scheduled end of Trump's lame duck and lame brain terminology. Unless. Unless he listens and resigns. Unless he is removed sooner by MAGA and Jeffrey Epstein or the pavement stuck on his hand, or a stuck escalator or Tylenol or Jimmy Kimmel. The next scheduled countdown is Monday. Until then, I'm Keith Olbermann. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Ulberman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Countdown with Keith Olbermann (iHeartPodcasts), September 25, 2025
In this episode, Keith Olbermann tackles what he deems “the most hapless 96 hours of his presidency”—a scathing review of Donald Trump’s recent blunders, self-inflicted scandals, and public humiliations. Olbermann focuses especially on the symbolic and literal beatdowns Trump suffered at the hands of Jimmy Kimmel, an inopportune escalator malfunction at the UN, and a series of bizarre, damaging events. The episode offers Olbermann’s signature political analysis, gleeful mockery, and vehement calls for Trump’s resignation, complete with commentary on the dangers of authoritarian rhetoric, media manipulation, and fresh takes on the dysfunction of the American right.
Quote:
“After perhaps the most hapless 96 hours of his presidency…the mentally deteriorating, untethered from reality Trump must resign and take his idiot sycophants with him.”
—Keith Olbermann [02:51]
Olbermann humorously likens Trump’s loss of “invisibility” to a South African pastor’s rapture prophecy:
He emphasizes that every recent fiasco was self-inflicted: “Self-owns…obsessions, self-indulgences, destructions. Quicksand that Trump and Trump alone could voluntarily dive into an average of one every four hours.” [07:26]
Quote:
“This is a bullying victim coming back and hitting Scott Farkas Trump in the nuts.”
—Keith Olbermann [12:40]
Quote:
“All things considered, more people watch Kimmel than watch Trump’s inauguration this year.”
—Keith Olbermann [14:44]
Quote:
“Ultimately, amid all of this paranoia, somebody has to say this, and it might as well be me. Boy, that escalatored quickly.”
—Keith Olbermann [28:46]
Quote:
“The point of this is Murdoch and Fox and especially the New York Post have been doing this to me since about 1996, always, always getting it wrong…”
—Keith Olbermann [45:10]
“Kimmel looms above, around and behind every one of them. To paraphrase the Baseball Hall of Famer and builder Rube Foster: Kimmel is the ship. All else is the sea.”
—Keith Olbermann [07:35]
“If Trump could get Kimmel fired, President Pritzker or President AOC will be able to get everybody at Fox News fired and maybe all of their podcasts canceled.”
—Keith Olbermann [12:14]
Parodying conspiracy theorists on “Escalator-Gate”:
“You do not need to embarrass Donald Trump. He is self-embarrassing—a muse.”
—Keith Olbermann [25:01]
“Twice [the New York Post] threatened me with stories that I had to take some action about…once they completely made one up, and once they ran a story, even though the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security specifically asked them not to run it.”
—Keith Olbermann [50:22]
On Kristi Noem:
“If that's really menacing to you, you need to get to a convent or somewhere…A convent sounds like a good idea.”
—Keith Olbermann [41:03]
On GOP calls to defund the Mayo Clinic:
“I don't think he can be trusted with a position of responsibility in a bakery, let alone a government. But just as sincerely, he's got PTSD going big time, probably from his service. Maybe it's CTE. In fact, the only thing he should be doing about the Mayo Clinic is going to it.”
—Keith Olbermann [38:35]
| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------| | 02:51 | Olbermann’s Special Comment: Trump’s 96-hour disaster| | 06:44 | Trump “Rapture” & Losing Invulnerability | | 10:41 | Kimmel’s Return & Trump’s Failed Retaliation | | 14:18 | Trump’s Legal Bluster, Kimmel Ratings | | 22:58 | Escalator-Gate & UN Paranoia | | 32:51 | Murdoch Media Vendetta Against Olbermann | | 35:39 | “Worst Persons in the World” Segment | | 45:10 | Olbermann’s History with Murdoch Smear Campaigns | | 59:17 | Anthrax Scare & Media Irresponsibility | | 67:13 | Outro: Trump’s Prospects & Final Thoughts |
This episode is a tour de force of Olbermann’s polemic style: a sprawling, rapid-fire rundown of Trump’s recent failures, MAGA delusions, and right-wing media tactics. Olbermann deftly intertwines news analysis, media criticism, and personal anecdotes, using his own experience with Murdoch’s media as both illustration and warning. Central throughout is the motif of self-sabotage—Trump’s, the GOP’s, and Rupert Murdoch’s. The symbolic victory by Jimmy Kimmel and ABC serves not merely as a media spat but as a case study in bullying, propaganda, and the resilience (and absurdity) of American political spectacle.