← Countdown with Keith Olbermann
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12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month. Busy Sea Terms Countdown with Keith Olbermann is a production of iHeartradio. Did Trump really just threaten to arrest Joe Biden in his war against the United States of America? As Trump readies 1500 members of the 11th Airborne in Alaska to to parachute into Minnesota as Trump threatens conflict with NATO while being unable to remember that America is in NATO is the man who put the dick in dictators next step an attempt to arrest his predecessor or to indict Kamala Harris or to convene grand juries to pursue the former first lady or Jen Psaki or Karine Jean Pierre. God knows who else. Lost understandably, understandably, lost in the mindless chaos now being driven by the mindless tyrant in the White House. Lost in the mindless chaos in Minnesota at Joint Base Elmendorf near Anchorage, in Greenland in television where he has decided, he gets to decide which football game is on your God damned television and when there was a warning shot that if it registered with you, it may have only registered fifth or sixth or later. Another one of his few remaining brain cells. And I always envision them like the cows at a dairy farm with those big number tags on their ears. Another one of Trump's few remaining brain cells, number 71 I think it was, got to the front and mooed something about auto pens again. And out came a pronouncement from the emperor who has no CL that begins everyone is asking about the auto pen question mark because the son of a bitch is nearly 80 and he still doesn't know how to use punctuation marks. This starts with the usual Trumpian stupidity and then turns very dark, very fast. Quote it was an absolutely illegal act perpetrated by the radical left insurrectionists who illegally ran the Biden administration. Every one of them should be arrested for what they have done. The whole thing was rigged. There must be a price to pay and it has got to be a big one. End quote. Before you dismiss this, yes, it is more evidence that no matter what evil he accomplishes or how much money he steals while in office, each day for this worthless sack of shit is ruined by the fact that he lost the 2020 election and all of the oxygen he has wasted trying to deny, erase and eliminate that reality has failed. And that he lost and that Biden won and that he lost. And nobody is talking about the auto pen. I'm Ron Burgundy. And the fact that he lost, it would be nice to dismiss it as all that. But as soon as Trump insisted the woman he murdered by proxy, Renee Good, was a paid agitator, the Department of Justice opened an investigation into not the murderer Jonathan Ross, nor his enablers, Tom Holman, Todd Lyons, Kristi Noem wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door, Greg Bovino in the Nazi trench coat he found in the boys department at JCPenney or Trump himself. Not into any of them. The investigation is into Renee Good's widow to see if she was a paid agitator. Mayor Jacob Fry told ICE to get the F out of Minneapolis, and Governor Tim Wall said he would protect his state from ice. And Trump slandered both of them and Trump's scrotum in a suit. Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche lied about them and said they were, quote, encouraging violence against law enforcement. And some anonymous coward leaked to the newest state media, cbs, that subpoenas were likely to be issued against both for some fabricated conspiracy case as Trump mooing about Jack Smith brought that failed attempt to indict him as the attempt to destroy Mark Kelly out of the illegal orders video gradually degraded from indict to arrest him, to demote him in rank, to stare daggers at him as Trump's bleeding about James Comey blew up in his face and that of an entire roster full of beauty pageant runners up turned Trump lawyers. It's stupid, it fails. But it happens. And every time it happens, another arch gets knocked out from under the ancient facade that has held the country together for six months shy of 250 years. And the odds are not 100 to none that we will make it to year 251. The point of this, of course, being not the failures that Trump continues to have, but the threats he continues to make. When Trump writes they illegally ran the Biden administration, every one of them should be arrested. This is no longer one of those mental illness signs Letty used to have in the middle of the first administration. This is something one of his whores at the Department of Justice will act upon because A, they are whores, and B, because they are soft. And frankly, getting an indictment against Joe Biden for something that amounts to being president without Mr. Trump's permission is just easier. It's just easier than confronting the whining pants soiling Jabba the Hutt with bronzer currently occupying the White House until the White House floor beneath him collapses, possibly given Trump's weight. Literally. So while we are waiting to see if Trump will invoke the Insurrection act to enforce his racism and sadism in Minnesota, and if he will deploy the 1500 paratroops at Elmendorf that Pentagon sources happily reassure us with the phrase this doesn't mean they will deploy. We're preparing options while we wait to see if he can really insist we need Greenland to defend the Arctic from China when the paratroopers at Elmendorf are the principal force dedicated to defend the Arctic from China. What's next could be a literal attempt to arrest Biden and Kamala and I don't know who else did Trump particularly dislike. And please, please, please, please, please, please, please, if we're going to continue to let Trump do a reboot of the movie Idiocracy, please, please, please, please, please let his PR Garland, because he'll actually get bipartisan support for arresting Merrick Garland. I'm just saying that Trump would try to put Biden and the others in jail for simply having had the nerve to defeat him. He is probably. This is just me speculating, but he has probably come within one or two conversations of issuing an executive order declaring that the presidency of Joe Biden never happened and it was totally illegal and null and void and of no further force or effect. And thank you for your inattention to my madness. The auto pen bullshit is the closest he's ever come to actually doing something about this with Biden. And we know that fact enrages him because his brain never worked right in the first place. And it's getting worse. And he is surrounded by a few true believers, but mostly he's surrounded by people for whom doing the right thing is just too damn much trouble, especially if it means they'll no longer get free car service. And so his next move may in fact be to arrest Biden and pull Winston Smith on the entire Biden administration and claim there was no presidency between 2021 and 2025, that his presidency was gone, but the melody lingered on, and that's what was in charge. And he'll do that after he Finishes invading Minnesota and Greenland, but not before blackmailing everyone he can find into acquiescing. Because the current president of the United States is a blackmailer. Let's see, he's blackmailing Denmark, the uk, the eu, six other individual EU countries with tariffs until they make a deal for, quote, the complete and total purchase of Greenland. And by the way, what the F is a complete and total purchase besides what a diseased infant's mind tells itself? Sounds like legalese. All right, he's also blackmailing half the Republican politicians who become his co conspirators. He's blackmailing candidates, he's blackmailing voters, he's blackmailing prosecutors, he's blackmailing business people. He's blackmailing television companies, he's blackmailing the poor, he's blackmailing the rich. And he blackmailed the rightfully elected president of Venezuela into giving him her Nobel Peace Prize in exchange for his support for her to assume office. And of course, like most blackmailers, he got the prize. So he can say he is a Nobel Prize recipient and then he did not give her his support for her to assume office. Because like most blackmailers, he lies compulsively. There are solutions. As to Greenland, I don't have much use for the site. The argument, but Jacob Weissman of the argument hit the nail on the head. Democrats should just say that they'll immediately return Greenland even if Trump somehow buys it. Simple, enraging and effective. And I'm sure this idea. Well, the Democrats should say what? We should say something. I'm sure Keem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer will be launching a study committee on this early in the third quarter of this year or the fourth quarter. No doubt. The threat to the nation that is Trump's gestapo, street gang, militia and terrorist organization, the one he calls ice, that's even more simple. The House stripped out funding of it from its rollover on the continuing resolution that will fund the government past the 30th. The Senate hasn't even approached a vote on that part of the latest. Not a shutdown bill. Patty Murray of Washington says she and other Democratic negotiators have been, quote, very clear in our negotiations that we will not allow an increase, unquote, in ICE funding, as if that were somehow enough. They should start by cutting it completely. No money for ice, even if that means shutting the government down indefinitely. Not funding, but only with body cameras or de escalation training. That's another Democratic idea. Body cameras that these thugs have to turn on first. De escalation. Enrique Theriau Chief proud boy emeritus says he has become an ICE agent. What would de escalating that scumbag mean exactly? You teach him to shoot innocent bystanders. Not in the face, but only in the chest. Tarrio may not be the only January 6th figure working for Trump's brown shirts. A House committee is trying to get human resources info out of the DOJ. How many would you say? What percentage? 50%? 40? No, no, of course not. 30. No comment. The Texas observer already found that an assistant chief counsel named Jim rodden, no with Ds, not Ts, who had worked as an ice prosecutor in an immigration court in Dallas, was chased out of the organization nearly a year ago after they found that he also ran a white supremacist Twitter account. Last week, the Texas observer got a tip, went to immigration court in Dallas again, and sure enough, at the prosecution table, there was Jim Rodden again, wearing his staff badge. This account that it ascribes to him, posted quote, america is a white nation and quote, all migrants are criminals and quote, all blacks are foreign to my people. And per the Texas observer, quote, in addition to posts with apparent praise of Adolf Hitler, or as Caroline Levitt calls him, Adolf Hilter. So Mr. Rodden is back prosecuting ICE cases because I guess Susan Collins thinks he's learned his lesson. Or maybe because he earned his timeout. Not because he had one white supremacist account, but because he only had one white supremacist account. Polling on ICE is still way too close. A new poll from CBS yesterday. Ice is making communities less safe. 52%. Ice is making communities more safe. 31% still way too close. But the individual methods used by ice, when they are polled, they show no doubt that more than 60% of this country wants ICE neutralized immediately. Polling against detaining US citizens, against having agents masked, against zip, tying kids, against gassing six month olds, and against, you know, shooting bystanders in the face. That is all in the 60 to 70% range. America is sick to death of this sadism and this chaos and this scumbag Trump. And for once, Democrats should look at that reality and other Things like party ID, shifting back to Democrats by +8, with Republicans now about to drop below 40%. Identification, things like that. And the Cook Political report moving on just one day last week, 18 House races. Taking 18 House races and moving them towards the Democrats. The Democrats should just once take all of this and put it together and effing take yes for an answer. So remember the episode of the Simpsons where Homer falls down the side of the Grand Canyon and every time he seems to have stopped by a ledge, the ledge gives way beneath him and he resumes falling. And then finally, finally, finally at the end of it, they rescue him from the canyon floor and they bring him to the top by medevac helicopter and they put his gurney in the ambulance and the driver hits the gas and the ambulance crashes into a tree and the doors fly open in the back and the gurney slides out the back and Homer falls down the side of the Grand Canyon again. Remember? Ever wonder what could be worse than that? Well, the answer is now, finally here. This is the CBS Evening News. Oh, my God. The Homer Simpsons of propaganda. Barry Weiss and Tony decouple are on approximately their 16th trips down the canyon walls and there is no indication that they even know it. The comic relief. First, that per the newspaper the Independent, on Halloween, Weiss was at Nora o' Donnell's last ditch audition to get her old job back at CBS by doing a softball interview with Trump. Trump said something about her, Weiss, that is. And Weiss suddenly appeared out of nowhere like Beetlejuice. And according to a source, quote, he was so happy to see her and she was so excited to meet him, they both leaned in and exchanged kisses on the cheek. So the report is not clear. Weiss kissed Trump's cheek. Which cheek was that? Cut to the next CBS useless propagandist interview of President pedophile protector by Tony. Stop. Stop. He's already dead. Decouple. Last Tuesday, when it was over, per a recording obtained by the New York Times, Caroline Levitt, the witch bunt who lies for Trump most of the time but is intensely stupid all of the time, goes over to decouple and his crew and this exchange ensues. Levitt says Trump has a message for him and for cbs. She said it was, quote, he said, make sure you guys don't cut the tape. Make sure the interview is out in full. To which decouple kissed a cheek, metaphorically, anyway. Quote, yeah, we're doing it. Yeah. To which Levitt answers. He said, if it's not out in full, we'll sue your ass off.
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Hey, make sure you guys don't cut the tape. Make sure the interview is out in full.
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Yeah, we're doing it. Yeah. He said, if it's not out, we'll.
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Sue your ass off.
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Oh, great. Okay. He always says that.
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I think that went.
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We only have 19 minutes and 30 seconds, so 13 minutes.
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How long did we talk?
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The Times posted that tape. And the funny part is the light heartedness from Jacopo, who, as I suggested earlier, does not understand, or at least does not seem to understand that he is doing the Homer visits the Grand Canyon bit again and again and again, a kind of reverse Sisyphus where Sisyphus is not the guy, Sisyphus is the giant rock and it keeps rolling down. The funnier part is that Levitt is seriously too stupid to know that a CBS crew with several dozen recording devices on scene plus the live feed of the interview going back to the studio in New York that they might still be recording moments after the interview had ended. Again, I'm not complaining. They are amateurs. If the Trump administration was not made up of amateurs, we'd all be slave labor by now. Levitt obviously didn't deny the story. There's a tape she boasted that CBS did run the interview in full. She insisted Trump's comments should only be run in full or I don't know. She didn't say maybe Trump will have somebody shoot you in the face. The more serious issue it sure looks like CBS either fabricated the nonsensical story about Renee Goode's murderer from ICE and his quote, internal bleeding to the torso, or more likely, CBS merely ran a story fabricated by somebody else in the Trump dictatorship. Internal bleeding to the torso is not only not a thing medically, it is a thing you would say if you were trying to make up a fake injury. Since the shooter walked away from the moment he wasn't hit by her car, he didn't have internal bleeding to the torso. Either way, it looked like the MAGA editor in chief of CBS News, the disgraced former New York Times columnist Barry Weiss, pushed this story from the Guardian, quote, the network's top editor Weiss expressed a high level of interest in the story on an editorial call on Wednesday morning. According to staffers who listened to there was a big internal dissension about the internal bleeding report here last night. The CBS News staffer, who was not authorized to speak publicly, said it was viewed as a thinly veiled anonymous leak by the Trump administration to someone who'd carry it online. Felt to many here like we were carrying water for the admins justifying of the shooting to keep our access to our sources, said a network staffer who was also not authorized. Comment. In other words, the C in CBS now stands for corrupted. As to the fourth and fifth homer Simpsons down the cliff, anchorman Decouple, who I will circle back to and actually defend sorta in the worst Persons segment coming up, decouple scored 10 out of 10 on the cringe meter twice last week. First he offered to trade jobs with Pittsburgh area steel workers and he insisted to them his job is not as easy as it looks. Now that could only be true if he still had a soul. And obviously the soul went out the window first. If you don't have a soul, being a propagandist who simply repeats what people tell you to is a really easy job. And then that was one broadcast. In another edition he agreed that Trump's insane threats to steal or buy Greenland were not an absurd idea. Unless you follow that up by saying it's the most absurd idea he's ever had. Well, Tony, you're full of shit. Also, it depends on your definition of that original word absurd. Truly absurd. Is Tony decouple thinking he'll still have a job in news after this one? The CBS scenario is actually summed up not by any of that stuff or anything I've said, but by what appears to be the threads account of the actor Eric Stoltz. The account Eric Stoltz official could be official replied to someone identifying themselves as Molly Carlson. Molly Carlson had written, can someone recommend a show that will destroy me emotionally? And the answer was CBS News. While we are bidding goodbye to journalism, let's also check in briefly on stalking horse A. Smith still out there humiliating himself on radio every day, possibly in hopes that when CBS fires decouple we will hear. This is the CBS Evening News with Stephen A. Shit. He, he still, he still thinks he's going to be the subject of a draft Stephen A. Smith for President campaign. Or he doesn't understand yet that he's just Jill Stein in a. In a tie. I'm going to quote some of the insight that has given Stephen this serious misunderstanding about where he stands in the political firmament. Where he stands is last place. It has made him America's leading authority. On one thing though. There is an area in which Stephen A. Smith is first killing time in any medium. Listen to this. This is, this is his political, his political raison d'. Etre. This is his political credo, his code, his summary of what he and he alone understands about where we are right now. Are you ready? And I will not, as tempting as it is, try to do an impression of this. Just remember it's designed to fill and kill time. Quote, to all the Republicans out there, to all the conservatives out there, you're about to lose the midterms. You're going to lose and you might lose the presidency in 2028 and it's going to be at the fault of your president, Donald Trump. He's blowing it for himself, he's going to blow it for the gop, he's going to blow it for Congress, he's going to blow it for the Senate, and he's likely going to blow it for the White House. All because of what I said from day one. The man don't know how to act. What we're hearing about is chaos, chaos, chaos and oh my Lord, we don't need to see this again. We don't need to see this again. Well, as the cliche goes, we don't need to see this again. We don't need to see this again. Every Stephen A. Smith accusation is a confession. Also of interest here. Yes, it has finally happened. The Worst Persons in the world segment is about three people who are either my exes or are connected to my exes. And if you say that's statistically impossible. No, no, it's not. In fact, by now it's probably a betting favorite by like 6 to 5. That's next. This is Countdown. Most people think their insurance will cover them when disaster strikes. The truth? Many are wrong. You pay premiums and assume you're protected until the fine print hits. Exclusions, limits, loopholes. Suddenly that coverage isn't coverage at all. My policy advocate reviews your policies, home, auto, life and breaks them down in plain English. They show what's really covered and what isn't. It costs just 27 cents a day less than a cup of coffee. For peace of mind, before you assume you're covered, go to mypolicyadvocate.com you might be shocked at what you find. Mypolicyadvocate.com I'm done with subscriptions. Streaming, fitness, razors, vitamins. I've got subscriptions for everything in my life. They lock you in and half the time I can't figure out how to unsubscribe. That's why I'm so excited about the new Blue Apron. Now you can get delicious meals delivered with no subscription needed, including new pre made options. Keep the flavor, ditch the subscription. Get 20% off your first two orders with code APRON20. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more.
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Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers, growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like EFTs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available@public.comDisclosures Do you like free money?
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Well, today's your lucky day. Better Picks is offering a free $10 just for signing up. Download the Better App, pick more or less on your favorite player's stats, watch the games and win some cash. It's that simple. Better Pick is available in 33 states including Texas, California and Georgia. Download the Better App today that's Better Betr and get a free $10. No deposit necessary. Must be 21 or older. In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates, terms and conditions apply. Better Picks Sports just got Better this is Countdown with Keith Olberman. Still ahead on this all new edition of Countdown. So we just passed the 34th anniversary of the beginning of one of the great but all too brief life friendships of my life. I have told my Elizabeth Montgomery story before and I'm going to tell it again because all these years later I remain bewitched. The day I met Lizzie Montgomery and we nearly drank ourselves into oblivion. Next, in things I promised not to tell first, believe it or not, there's still more new idiots to talk about. The roundup of the miscreants, morons and dunning Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. And I have always known this would happen, that someday the bad decisions I have made, the lack of judgment I have perfected, would all align and create something like this. I knew it was inevitable. And yet I went on for year after year, to quote Churchill in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity. All powerful to be impotent. Well, I'll just skip impotent for the moment. But here it is. It's finally happened. All three stories in this edition of the Worst Persons are about my exes. Yep. And I'm defending one of them. Sorta. Number three is worse. Laura Ingraham. This sort of standard crap from her. These quotes are from consecutive nights on her program on the FOQ you News Network. This was Wednesday. Always remember the best propagandists pick and choose data points and disregard others. And they do that to whip up public in their preferred direction. Unquote. So that's Wednesday. Then on Thursday, Laura picked and chose data points and disregarded others to whip up public sentiment in their preferred direction. Quoting her again, most Minnesotans. By the way, I want to say this tonight because folks have reached out to me. Support ice. The most recent population data for the state of Minnesota is 5,842,388 residents. So most Minnesotans would have to be 2,921,195 Minnesotans or more. So Laura Ingraham is claiming that 2,921,195 MinneNotans have reached out to her to tell her that most Minnesotans prefer and support ice. Always remember the best propagandists pick and choose data points and disregard others. Well, she's, she's one of the best propagandists, but she would have been one of the all time greats if she'd only had the surgery for the deviated septum. Now the runner up. Interestingly, someone else of whom that could be said. Kirsten Sinema. Another one who talked like that. Honey, an ex. Not for long, but she counts. We went to Book of Mormon twice. I was the book and she was the Mormon.
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Hmm.
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This was before she started to make real money and it consumed all of her values. I swear she had values. She made me look kind of conservative. Anyway, this could have happened even if money had not destroyed her. Because she never made any secret of the fact that she did not believe in monogamy. There were no relationships in her mind. Certainly nothing permanent. She never hid being bisexual either. Those are choices or maybe they're a combination of choices and DNA. I don't know. They certainly let anybody who got near her make their own choices about her. There were no surprises. I mean, I never sat there thinking, I can change her. She'll be the mother of my children. And I never thought we'd get married or anything, but hey, she was great company and she was brilliant. She was. Still, that does not mean this train wreck wasn't inevitable. This one, this lawsuit in North Carolina stars Kyrsten Sinema from the site Law360 Sinema is accused of having, quote, destroyed a 14 year marriage by sustaining an affair with a former member of her security detail and U.S. senate staff, according to a lawsuit that hit North Carolina federal court Wednesday. Apparently this is just one person. That's the only surprise in an alienation of affection complaint. And honestly, did you know there were still alienation of affection lawsuits in such as reported by Law360 Heather Amell is seeking damages for cinema's lengthy sexual conversations with her ex husband Matthew Amell and coordination of trysts around the globe, all of which led to the couple's divorce, according to the complaint. Now, I'm gonna spare you the texts that are included in the filing because I like to reserve terms that are used in these texts for, you know, swearing about Trump. But I will say, you know, none of those texts would have made the top 10 of cinemas all time. You sure you wanted to write that where people could screenshot it? Keith asked. Texts. There's a reference in this suit to her having had multiple affairs with multiple members of her security detail. Some men, some women. One of the women may have been related to a member of the Trump cabinet and that would also be par for the course. The first time I ever talked to her, she explained her office was a little tense at the moment because two of her ex friends had just found out about each other and they were both still on her staff. This is my ex. And this is your assistant, my other ex. My complaints about Cinema are not about her lifestyle choices or her desires in life or her hypercharged engine, let's call it that. They are about how she wasted her talents. But if your lifestyle choices, or if you're sexual orientation, which is not a choice but an orientation, if these things wind up breaking up other people's marriages and you get written up in a lawsuit because you just couldn't control yourself within any boundaries whatsoever, maybe you ought to see a doctor or at least a mechanic for your hyper hyper engine, maybe. But the winner, the worst, Megyn Kelly. No, not one of my exes. Thank God. Thank God. I've made bad choices, but I wouldn't make that bad choice. Not with your choice, buddy. But she went beyond all barriers, even on this topic. And even for her, even since she lost all control of her tiny little mind, even since her rage consumed her, she attacked Tony decouple, the new anchor of the formerly cbs, formerly Evening, formerly News. All right, he's the soon to be new ex anchor of the formerly cbs, formerly evening, formerly News. Because it is one thing to be A fascist and to be hated and ignored. But as Barry I kissed a Trump and I liked it. Weiss, Antonio Coppola, and more importantly, those Ellison scumbags are discovering it is something else altogether to be a fascist and to be hated and to be ignored and to be laughed at and to lose money hand over fist. Which is what the new cbs, formerly cbs, formerly Evening, formerly News, with formerly Tony decouple is doing. And all that is true. He deserves almost everything he gets for this. And so does Bari Weiss, and so do the Ellisons. But that still, Megyn Kelly does not mean. You can say what you said about this guy. I'm quoting Megyn Kelly. CBS Evening News is officially launched with its new anchor, Topra du Copal. That's what I call him. She's nothing if not clever. That's right. She's nothing. That's what I call him. Because he's crying and constantly trying to therapize us through the news. I should do it in a Megyn Kelly voice. I figured it out. So, like Barry Weiss is. I can't do that voice. It hurts my voice. So, like Bari Weiss is, Megyn Kelly said she's an out lesbian and she's in a marriage to another woman. I'm saying this is a lesbian's idea of what women want. Like, he's sweet, he's soft. Like, this is what this is going to sell. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We want someone with balls, with a spine. Someone who will protect us. Somebody who, like, when the burglar comes, we'll be the first out the door. Interesting phrase. Hey, there's a burglar here. See ya, hon. I'm the first out the door. First at the door, maybe. Okay. Anyway, as I may have mentioned, I'm not sure. Did I mention Tony Dicopol as the husband of my ex, Katie Turk? Have I mentioned that? Did I mention about Ingram in cinema? Okay, the first time Katie mentioned him to me, she said it was funny. He hated me. This new boyfriend of hers hated me because he was jealous that she and I had lived together. That's a bad start. I think he's shallow. I think he's inexplicably embittered, given his level of success without all that much skill or talent. He kind of gives to me a vibe of what would have happened if Ferris Bueller had grown up and his boyish charm had run out and people were just tired of his actual. And you can criticize like a thousand things about his work on the CBS Evening News. And the morning show before it, and maybe more about him as a person. But to insist he's a lesbian's idea of what women want is not only sexist and you know, definitely anti lgbtq, it's offensive to every group. But more importantly, maybe it's irrelevant. I mean, turn that around and say when NBC burned 50 million to hire Megyn Kelly away from Fox, it was because she was some gay man's idea of what men want. You couldn't say that in a million years and get away with it. And what in the hell would it mean? Or would you say it about her husband? That Megyn Kelly is some gay man's idea of what men want in a wife? What does it mean and how dare you say it. Criticized him into the ground for his work, for his smugness, for his inability to recognize he's being used by tech bros and politicians. And he's now in the process of being set up by them so they can blame him and bury him when they finally have to blow up the newscast again. But Jesus, the six time winner in the worldwide shrill competition is going to insult Tony decouple's appeal to women. Seriously. So there's Katie's entry and there's Kirsten's entry and Laura Ingram's entry. Anyway, Megan, who could have been the model for Edvard Munch's pictures of the Scream. Kelly, today's worst ex or X related person in the world. Most people think their insurance will cover them when disaster strikes. The truth? Many are wrong. You pay premiums and assume you're protected until the fine print hits. Exclusions, limits, loopholes. Suddenly that coverage isn't coverage at all. 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Free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Elizabeth Montgomery, one of the most famous actresses of the 1960s and 1970s, star of the TV series Bewitched, daughter of a famous actor, Robert Montgomery, and my friend from early on the morning of January 14, 1992 until she died in the spring of 1995. Our friendship happened only because of one thing. My sister had given me a book about one of our favorite topics, the never to be solved mystery of Lizzie Borden and the Borden family axe murders of 1892 in Fall River, Massachusetts. Yes, we're weird. And also the fact that Elizabeth Montgomery had played Lizzie Borden in a TV movie. So on January 14, 1992, as I sat waiting for our flight to leave ICJFK airport in New York for my then home in Los Angeles and I began to read from my airplane seat my sister's gift from the aisle. From the last one to board, I hear the voice of Elizabeth Montgomery saying to me, ooh, Keith, you're reading about me. She was a gas. My brief but eternal friendship with Lizzie Montgomery and the eternal lesson she taught me in one moment please, while I first explain what I was doing on that flight. A month or two earlier I had agreed to join ESPN to co host SportsCenter with Dan Patrick starting in late March 1990. 1992. I had just finished up three financially rewarding but soul sucking years at Channel 2 in Los Angeles and I was going to go to Hawaii for three months and just lie there until I felt better. On Monday, December 30, 1991, I had literally just opened my address book to find the number of a travel agent I knew to make the Hawaii arrangements. I was reaching for the phone when the phone rang. It was my business agent who had just gotten off the phone with my new ESPN boss, John Walsh. He and they were launching a new radio network in five days. I found this interesting, but not particularly relevant. ESPN was one thing, then it was one TV network. No magazine, no radio, no espn, the Ocho. So this was their first big move outwards. The radio network would start with only two seven hour shows on Saturday and Sunday nights. And Walsh explained to my agent that everything was going great and they were right on target. And they had great guests lined up for the first weekend like Ronald Reagan. And they only had one tiny problem. They needed three hosts. And they had two terrific hosts, just terrific hosts. One Keith worked with named Tony Bruno and another terrific, just terrific host from Providence named Chuck Wilson. And they tried this guy as the third host and that guy and this guy and that guy. And all told, 40 different people had tried out to be host. They had nobody, nobody to be the third host who was any good. Keith just come here just for the first weekend, just to get it off the ground. Then he can go back to LA and come back here in March. Takeover Sports Center. Please, please, please can Keith help us? Please? Because if he can, I don't know what on earth we're gonna do. Oh please, please, please. As I said to my agent, well, all right, I suppose this way at least ESPN will always think of me as a team player. So instead of going to Hawaii in January, I go to Bristol, Connecticut in January and I go stay at my folks house outside New York City. And a friend I had recommended to help ESPN launch their radio network offers me a ride up to ESPN for the weekend. And it's like 20 degrees and we get out of his car in his parking lot and three spots over, getting out of his car in the parking lot is Chris Berman, who I went to high school with. And already in January 1992, when I'm not quite 33 years old, I already know Chris for 20 years. And before I can say, hey, he screams, listen, we have a good thing going here. Don't F it up. And I say, good to see you too, Chris. And I remind myself it's only till Monday. And I meet the gang and then I go to the hotel. And the hotel is beige. The walls are beige, the carpets are beige, the guests are beige, the food is beige. The only thing that isn't beige is the 6 inches of snow that falls overnight. And I remind myself it's only till Monday. The launch of the network on Saturday goes well. They have me interview Ronald Reagan about something in football. The Sunday night show is going well too. And we're trying to figure out where the big baseball free agent of that winner, Danny Tartab going to sign. And we're interviewing Bobby Valentine was the manager of the Texas Rangers, and they were one of the teams rumored to be a likely landing for Tartable. And I asked Valentine, he says, no, not anymore, they just canceled their trip. I was supposed to go meet them at the airport tonight. I think he signed with somebody else. And the alarm bells go off in my head and I tell the producer, let's call everybody we know in baseball and put them on and figure out where Danny Tarble is going. I have a source who knows his agent. Let me call him, we'll go story chasing. So we spend four hours following a story in real time and it's great radio. And we're coming up on the last hour and our guests have helped us eliminate like 30 teams out of 28. But we're not sure where Tartable is going still. And the producer says, if only we had his home phone number. And I look at the producer and go, oh crap, sorry. And I grabbed my address book and I explained he was my co host was on some of our baseball post game shows in LA last. I'm sorry, I forgot I had his number all this time. Hang on. So I called Danny Tartable and just as our last hour on Sunday night is starting, he calls me back and I say to him, look, we know you've decided it's all over baseball, it's got to be the Phillies, the Mets or the Yankees. And he's saying, correctly, I can't tell you. And I said, give me one guess and just tell me if I'm wrong And I will call you a source close to the negotiations, that's all. And he says okay. And I say is it a team that wears pinstripes? And of course the Phillies, the Mets and the Yankees all wear pinstripes. So he laughs and he says yes. And I say is it the team I grew up a fan of? And he says what team did you grow up a fan of? And by the way, the phone call is taking place with me on the floor of the studio in which the other two hosts are live on the new radio network. So I whisper to Tardebourne, if I say it's the Yankees, am I wrong? And he says, I can't tell you and starts whispering, but off the record, the press conference is Wednesday at Yankee Stadium. Is that enough for you, you bastard? And of course I said no, come on the show and tell us. Come on. And he laughs and says I'll see you Wednesday and hangs up and I get up and I sit in the vacant chair and I can say, breaking news, ESPN report. Now that the free agent outfielder Danny Tartel has agreed to a multi year deal with the New York Yankees, sources close to the negotiations say there will be a press conference Wednesday at Yankee Stadium. And the other hosts are trying not to crack up because they know I've just been talking to Tartable from the phone in the same room with them. Well, this story explodes way more than it deserved. It's a dull Sunday night. It's still early enough in the evening that the story makes all the Monday newspapers and it's attributed not to ESPN or to SportsCenter but to the brand new ESPN Radio Network on its second day in business. And it's on the front page of USA Today and the New York Times. New ESPN Radio Network makes splash with Tartar Bull scoop the next morning. And I can't tell you how big a deal that was back then in 1992. So now instead of going back to LA on Monday and maybe to Hawaii on Tuesday as I had planned, I have to go to the press conference at Yankee Stadium to say hi to Tartable on Wednesday and sort of thank you, thank him for the scoop. And on Tuesday this guy John Walsh from ESPN calls me and my agent says, look, we have to take advantage of this. It's the best possible start we could have hoped for for the radio network. Keith has to stay with us for the next three months. Why doesn't he stay in and do this weekend and then go back to LA and pack up his apartment, then come back here the weekend after that and, and, and, and I say again to my agent, well, at least ESPN will always think of me as a team player if I do this. So I am not in Hawaii and instead I am on board this flight when Elizabeth Montgomery walks down the aisle and sees my Lizzie Borden book given to me by my sister and says, ooh, Keith, you're reading about me. Hi, I'm Lizzie Montgomery, I'm a big fan of yours. Is that seat taken? And I say the hell if I care. Sit down. And the only time we're not talking for the next six hours is when we are drinking. I believe if I remember this correctly, they had to send up a champagne refueling flight halfway to la. And she's a huge sports fan. Her father was a founder of one of the Southern California horse racing tracks and she loves the Lakers and she thinks she was related to Lizzie Borden. Did I ever see the European version of her Lizzie Borden film where they show the wide shots where they make it look like she's nude? And I say I'm absolutely certain I have not. And her son and her driver and her Rolls Royce meet us at lax and she wants me to see her house and then her driver and her Rolls Royce will give me a lift home. And oh by the way, she's flying back to New York in a week. Should we become flying buddies on that trip? Our flight gets cancelled and we have to find a new one. I'm hand carrying a lot of my more valuable baseball cards, including like 500 different from the year 1909 and she wants to see them and she wants me to tell her something about each player while we drink again and we land and she says how are you getting to your folks house? And I say well, I'm gonna get a car here or something. And she says no you're not. I'll give you a lift in my limo going right past your house. And sure enough we get there and as Lizzie Montgomery's limo is taking me to my folks house at 10 o' clock at night, she says will they still be up here? Folks want to play a practical joke on the. So two minutes later I knock on the door of my childhood home and my father opens it instead of seeing me. It's her in the doorway and she says, hi Mr. Olbermann, I'm Lizzy, I'm a friend of Keith's. Can he come out and play? And my dad goes silent for the only time in my life and now my mother appears so Lizzy can pull the same routine on her. Hi, Mrs. Olverman. I'm Lizzy. I'm a friend of Keith. Can you come out and play? And now my mother is silent. For the only time in my life, I might add. I thought Lizzie looked fabulous. And I looked her up in Hallowell's Film Guide and I saw she was 48. And I thought, boy, she looks fabulous for 48. And then I realized my math is wrong. She was 58 and she was a joy. We talked by phone every couple of weeks after that. And she died three years later of colon cancer. But she is with me always, and not just as the proverbial force of nature. Within minutes of that day, we met, January 14, 1992, she bestowed upon me a lesson, an eternal lesson. We were a little late taking off, and since she had just loudly introduced herself to me like I didn't know who she was, anybody on the plane who wasn't sure it was her was now sure. As we waited to taxi, every man on that plane came over and did the same thing. Oh, hi, Ms. Montgomery. Excuse me. And they give me some sort of nodding acknowledgement like, hey, how you doing? As they lean in past me. I was a big fan of Bewitched. I know you must get asked this a million times a day, but is there any chance, I'm so sorry to ask. Could you do that little nose twitch you used to do in the show? And she would say, of course. And then she'd do it. And these men aged 20 to 100 all then giggle like schoolboys. After the 30th or 31st time this happened, I say to her, lizzie, I don't know you, but I like you already and your attitude towards your fans and the nose twitch is wonderful, but I have to tell you, I certainly hope that was the last of them. Because the next one who comes over, I'm gonna have to strangle him with my bare hands because I can't take it anymore. And for the only minutes of all the time I knew her, Elizabeth Montgomery got very serious and said, oh, no, Keith, that is not the attitude you must have about this. Remind me, what year did Bewitched go off the air? I had to guess. 1972. And she said, exactly. Good. Correct. 20 years ago. And these people have remembered that Nose Twitch for 20 years, at least. Bewitched, Keith, is not Hamlet. It is not Arthur Miller. It is not the Godfather, but they remembered it. This is why you and I both do what we do for a living. We have transcended time with what we do for a living, living something artistic, something creative, no matter how small that we have done, they have remembered it. People do it with you, I'm sure, and I'm sure they'll continue to. And what you do then is you say thank you for remembering, as if they were the only one who ever remembered. Because that's why we do this, because they remembered me from 20 years ago for stupid little nose twitch. Duly chastised. I apologized and the huge, welcoming, conspiratorial, permanent friendship, sexy smile of Elizabeth Montgomery broke across her face like the sunrise and she whispered either that Keith, or they saw Bewitched on cable last week, which means Lizzie gets another check next week, and she twitched her nose at me and I will always love her. I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Most of our Countdown music was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray on the guitars, bass and drums and John Philip Chenale handling orchestration and keyboards. Who are our musical directors of Countdown? It was produced by TKO Brothers was the music. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Foust. The sports music is the olderman theme from ESPN2, written by Mitch Warren Davis, courtesy of ESPN Inc. Other music arranged and performed, formed by the group no Horns Allowed. My announcer today was my friend Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul and Airplane. This program was produced by Ted. Everything else was, as always, my fault. That's Countdown for today. Day 365 of America held hostage again just 1,098 days until the scheduled end of his lame duck and lame brained term. Unless he is remembering removed sooner by Maga and Jeffrey Epstein or affordability or marble armrests or Venezuela. Or is Ice Gestapo murdering American mothers or Greenland. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Bulletins as the news merits. Until the next one. I'm Keith Alderman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and three, two, one. Good luck. Countdown with Keith Olbermann is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Most people think their insurance will cover them when disaster strikes. The truth? Many are wrong. 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