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You want your questions to be kind of innocent and kind of curious like this. I'll give you a suggestion. You'll say like, hey, yeah, I may be the new person here and I know I'm less experienced than everybody else, so please forgive me if I'm being naive, but can I ask? And so you're setting the tone like that you're curious, you're not coming in with an arrogant attitude and then you want to ask some version of these three questions. Hey, it's great to have you back for another episode of the Craig Groeschel Leadership. I want to say sincerely, I am thankful for you. It's an amazing thing to have you in our leadership community and I have a real passion. I feel like it's a calling to help you get better in your leadership. And so what I want to do is I want to talk about what you want to talk about. What we're going to do is we're going to do a multiple week series where I'm answering your questions, we ask for questions and man, you guys ask a bunch of them. Normally we do an episode on the first Thursday of each month with an occasional bonus episode. Hey, we're going one a week for as long as it takes to work through many of your questions. So our team looked at all the questions and we saw some common themes. I'll tell you what we'll be talking about in the weeks to come. A lot of you are asking about how do you lead up when you're not in charge. You talked about lateral leadership questions, how do you lead your peers? Many of you are wanting to know how do you develop emerging leaders or what do you do when you're starting a new role? Lots of questions about team building and about how to create a great culture. And many of you are dealing with burnout and kind of self care issues in leadership. So we're going to hit those themes and more. Let's dive in. Today, Matthew from YouTube asked the question, Craig, what advice do you have for speaking up when you're a part of a team and no one is making the calls? What do you do if you're in a meeting and everybody's talking and at the end of the meeting there's no action, no one's making decisions? Matthew, I'm glad you asked that question and I'm really glad that you're noticing and you're wanting to do something about the problem because it's important to remember that anytime you're in leadership in a meeting, you're with a Group of people. Remember, no decision is a decision. If you're not making a decision, you're actually deciding not to decide. And it's impossible to do nothing and make consistent progress. I always tell our team that indecision is the enemy of. Of progress. You have to decide. I'd rather make kind of an average decision, a decent decision and keep things moving than just stall with no decision at all. And it's a challenge if no one's stepping up and no one's making the calls. And let's say maybe you're new to the team or you're somewhere in the organization, kind of in the middle, you're going to want to approach this problem with a helpful tone, not a critical tone. And this is really important. And I'm going to talk real straight with you, Matthew. Anytime you point out a problem, an insecure leader is going to get defensive when you come and say, hey, I don't like this, or this isn't right, or we could do this better. Anytime you do that, and if your leader is the least bit insecure, they're going to get defensive. And the reality is most of us have at least a little bit or a lot of insecurity in us. So you need to be really careful how you approach raising the issue that there is a problem. So what you want to do is you want to approach this with a kind of a helpful or a curious spirit. And what I would suggest is you do is you start by asking questions, and again, watch the tone of your questions. What you're not doing is coming and saying, hey, why wouldn't anyone step up and decide you're not going to come in like that? Or like, you know, how do all you guys get promoted into leadership anyway when you won't make a decision? You're not going to come in like that. You want your questions to be kind of innocent and kind of curious like this. I'll give you a suggestion. You'll say, like, hey, yeah, I may be the new person here, and I know I'm less experienced than everybody else, so please forgive me if I'm being naive, but can I ask? And so you're setting the tone like that. You're curious. You're not coming in with an arrogant attitude. And then you want to ask some version of these three questions, and you'll want, they won't be just like this. You'll put them in your own words, but I want to say them, and then I'm going to say them again. Then we're going to Talk about them. You're going to ask some version of hey, what do we think is our ultimate objective? Number one, what is our ultimate objective? Second thing you're going to ask is what is the best way to accomplish this objective? And then the third thing you're going to ask in your own words is who's going to do what and by when. So you're going to say, what's our ultimate objective? What's the best way to accomplish the objective and who's going to do what and by when? Let's talk about each of them, Matthew. First you're going to say in your own words like, hey, I'm kind of new here and you know, I'm just kind of curious. So you know, it would really help me out to understand like what are we trying to accomplish? What's our objective? What decision are we trying to make? So you kind of start there. This is a non threatening way to bring closure into the decision or decisions that you need to make. And this is crazy simple. But you want to remind yourself over and over again and that is this. We cannot do what we don't define, we cannot accomplish what is not clear. So what you're doing is if you've got some people that aren't making any decisions, you're kind of zeroing in on what decision do we need to make? We need to define it so that we can do it. And so you're going to ask something like, you know, what's our objective? You're not going to use those words but like, okay, I'm just kind of curious, like what exactly problem are we trying to solve? Or what's the question that we're trying to answer? And so you're going to give them a chance to kind of say this is what we're trying to do. And so your first question kind of innocently is going to be, you know, what's our ultimate objective? What decision are we trying to make? What are we trying to accomplish? And then you're going to ask again in your own words, some version of this, like, hey, what do you think is the best way to accomplish this objective? Or what do you think is the best way we can get this project done? And you're asking it again with kind of an innocent, you know, what's the best way to solve this problem? And this is a polite and respectful way just to start moving the group toward a decision. You're not coming in saying this is what we need to do. You're not being arrogant, you're just Saying, hey, what do you think we need to do about this? About this point, if you're still kind of actively engaged and you're able to keep it moving, you want to try to help the conversation, keep a focus on potential solutions. You want to keep the flow moving toward ways we can solve the problem instead of getting stuck on objections. A lot of times what will happen is if you're looking for a good solution, a good solution often follows an unusual suggestion. For example, people will say, well, there's no bad suggestions or no bad questions. That's debatable whether it's true or not. But the reality is, in a brainstorming session, when you're trying to solve problems, I mean, just throw anything out there. And what you don't want to do is, we don't want to start shooting down any ideas. We just want to let the ideas flow. If someone says, this may be a dumb idea, it may be a dumb idea or undoable, but it starts the discussion and it gets us moving toward what may be a good idea. So you're going to say, hey, I'm new here, or hey, I'm just kind of curious, like, what problem are we trying to solve? What's the objective? And then you're gonna, in your own words, like, how do you think we could go about doing this? What's the best way to accomplish this? Then once you kind of start to get movement, you might ask if it's appropriate. Some version of who's gonna do what and by when. Okay, if we know what problem we're trying to solve and we know what's our next step, who's gonna do what by when? This is really, really, really important at the end of most meetings. If your meeting is just to communicate information, you may not need to ask this question. But most good meetings don't exist just to communicate information. Most good meetings exist to push decisions. You have to remember that. And so at the end of a good, productive meeting, you'll generally ask some version, especially if you're the leader. You can ask like, so what did we decide? Who's gonna do what and by when? Why are we asking these questions? The reason is because, Matthew, if you got people that won't make a decision, you got some passive leaders in the room. Passive leaders tend to pass responsibility. It happens. Maybe they're not confident, maybe they've got some issues going on at home and they're not on their game. But passive leaders tend to pass responsibility. And so what your goal is, is you want to try to close the gap. You believe the best in all the leaders around you. Everybody's got good intentions. But what we want to do is we want to close the gap and clearly define what is the next step. This is really important. Let's say you're leading a church and attendance is going down. Or let's say you're leading a business and you can't get a product out in time. So you're defining. Here is the. Here's a problem we're trying to solve, and then here's how we think we need to solve it. At this point, what you want to do is you don't have to resolve the whole problem. You don't have to think, finish the project. You're just trying to create any kind of movement. What you want to do is define what's the next step if our church is falling apart, you know, the next step might be to go interview people and find out what's going wrong, or it might be to go talk to another pastor and get his opinion. If you're in business, it might be to set an appointment or make a phone call or get a bid or meet with the board. What you want to do is you want to be specific on who does what and by when. We're trying to drive not the whole project, but just what is the next step. And if you're always taking the next step, eventually you're going to be taking ground, who does what and by when. Then what you want to do is like ask, you know, what are we going to do about this to create accountability. Whenever you say who does what by when you're bringing some accountability to the promises that are being made in this meeting. Okay, so Mark's going to get that, and Blake's going to get this, and Leanne is going to get that. We're going to have this by next Tuesday, and this is going to. By the next meeting, we're going to have all this done. And what do you do? You're creating accountability. What is the purpose of accountability? Accountability closes the gap between intentions and actions we all want. We've got good intentions. This is going to close the gap. So, Matthew, as we covered a lot, and I just want to compliment you on noticing you've got really, really good instincts. If you're in a meeting and you're not driving a decision, that's not generally an effective meeting. So again, you're going to come humbly and say, what's our ultimate objective? What's the best way to accomplish this objective? And who's going to do what and by when. And it's really amazing, and it's really special what a team of people can do together. When you've got clear objectives, when you got a clear strategy, and when you've got accountability, you can make a big, big difference. Hey, Craig here. We'll get back to the episode in just a minute, but I wanted to first of all share a resource that I think you'll find helpful to your leadership. There's a secret that I've learned about leadership, and we know it. The best leaders are almost always the best readers. Why? Because your influence and impact are in many ways a result of the books and ideas that you take in. So as I look back over my years of leadership, there are 44 books that rise to the top as books that I believe that every leader should read. So our team has curated the list and organized it into the areas that you'll want to grow in. To get this free list, go to Life Church, 44 books. That's the number four and four Life Church 44 books. And I hope this will be a gift to you to dig into a list of great books, get reading, and keep leading. Now back to the episode. All right, let's deal with another one. Harold asks this. When you're meeting a leader that you want to learn from, how do you ask good questions? Super glad you asked this, Harold, because a lot of times people will get with a leader and they'll talk the whole time or they won't ask good questions. What you want to remember and the fact that you raised that question shows that you know this is if you're talking, you're not learning. Anytime you're meeting with someone, if you're in there doing all the talking, you're not doing any learning. So you want to come in with good questions. How do you ask good questions? I'll give you some thoughts. I would suggest, Harold, first of all, that you start with intentionality. What do you want to learn? By understanding very specifically what you want to learn, you can kind of define the objective of your time with that leader. You might want to learn how to make better decisions. You're maybe indecisive, maybe you procrastinate, maybe you get caught and you can't move a decision forward. So you might want to learn how do you make decisions? You may want to learn how do they manage resources. One of the most important subjects in leadership that not a lot of people talk about is resource allocation. How do you decide where you put your time? How do you decide where you put your money, your best talent. So you might want to learn how that. You might want to learn their leadership philosophy, not just what they do, but how they think. What are their values, what's their strategy? What gifts or mindsets do they have that make them unique? You might want to learn how they juggle responsibilities or how they handle criticism, or how they delegate effectively, or how they create momentum or sustain momentum or help an underperforming team member. So I gave you a lot there. But before your meeting with a leader you respect, you want to be able to finish this statement. This time will be successful if I learn what. This time will be productive if I learn what. So you want to go into the meeting with a real specific idea of what you want to learn. You're going to be intentional. Second thing is, I suggest, is focus on how and why questions. Focus on how and why. You don't want to just know what they do, but you want to know how they do it and why they do it. So you might ask, like, why did you choose this strategy? Not just what strategy did you choose, but you want to understand what was the thought process? What were they analyzing? What was behind their decision? You might ask, why do you prefer longer meetings, or why do you prefer shorter meetings, or why do you not like meetings? Or how do you approach your meetings? The quality of your meetings will determine the trajectory of your organization. If you got bad meetings, unproductive meetings, you can't have a productive organization. So why do you. How do you think about meetings? You might ask, how do you build trust with your team? Or how do you learn to delegate? So you're coming in not just what, but why and how. And you want to ask questions that help you discover principles instead of just practices. It's so important. You can't copy what they do, but you can learn how they think. You want to try to get it into their minds. And in a similar lane, number three, I would always ask this. Ask about who or what influences them. Super important. Who do you learn from? Who stretches you? Do you have a mentor? Do you have a favorite podcast? What books have impacted you? Are there any conferences that you recommend? And this is super helpful because if you can find the source of who or what shapes someone that you admire, that can open windows of learning opportunities for you to get better based on the people that are helping them get better. And finally, I mean, almost every time I'm interacting with any leader I admire, I always ask, hey, what have you read or listened to recently that's impacting the way you think. What have you read or listened to recently that's impacting the way you think? I want to know every single time, what's current? What's shaping them? Every great leader is a growing leader. If you admire them, they're growing. They're not the same as the last time you met with them. I guarantee you there's something new shaping them, and you want to find out what it is. Number four, finally, try to find the story behind their story. You're interviewing a great leader and you want to know, hey, what makes you tick? What. What's the story behind your success? What's the story behind your ministry? What's the story behind your influence? And I wanna slow it down here for a minute because this is a little bit more advanced than what it sounds like. What you're doing is you're looking to discover what's in their heart, not just what's in their head. And this is really important because what makes a person great isn't just head knowledge, but there's usually something else. There's a drive that there's a hurt they're overcoming. There's a promise they made that they'll never. Or they'll always. And you want to find out what's in their heart. And most people never get to this level of a conversation. And so what I like to do is I like to say something like, you know, toward the end of a conversation, we're clicking, we're close. Like, man, there's something special about you. There's a reason you're different. There's a reason you stand out. So you set it up like that because most people don't ever say that to them. And then you say, like, can you tell me the part of the story that most people never think to ask about? Or can you tell me the part of your story that most people don't know about you? Can you tell me the part of the story that most people wouldn't understand? And what you're doing is you're digging deeper. And if you can go deeper, you can hit a well of wisdom. And I found that when you can take. I call it taking the levels down. So your surface questions, normal questions, we're going deeper and deeper and deeper. We want to find the story behind their success. And there's always one, and people rarely ever talk about it. A couple of more thoughts on this subject. When you're digging like that, as often as you can, you want to find someone several steps ahead of you. You want to talk to Someone whose business is five times the size of yours, not just 20% bigger. You want to find someone whose ministry is 20 years advanced, not just six months in or whatever. And the reason you're doing this is because it's helpful to meet with someone one step ahead. But when you do that, you just learn what I call tweaks. They're doing. Oh, yeah, I didn't think of that. And here's how they save a little time and here's how they're a little more productive. But if you can find someone several steps ahead of you, way ahead of you, they're going to blow your mind. They're going to tell you stuff like you thought, I never saw that. I've never thought that way. They're going to take something that you're sure is, is this way, and they're gonna tell you the exact opposite. And when you meet with someone many steps ahead of you, they give what I call the gift of disorientation. You're like, whoa, I didn't see that coming. I'm disoriented. I've had a few meetings like that in my life where I've walked away confused, excited, disoriented. I'm off center. It's like shaking me out of what I was sure was true and opened up my mind to ask questions of like, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I didn't see that. And this is really, really important. I want you to pay attention to where you push back the most. Whenever they tell you something and you're like, no, that's wrong. Ah, that's stupid. No, not in my case. Whenever you do that, this might be revealing a blind spot in your thinking. And I promise you this, they didn't get to where they are by being dumb. And a lot of times they, they don't just have a better perspective. It's just entirely different than yours. They've seen more, experience, more. And so the point at which you push back the hardest is often the place you have the most to learn. Let me say that again. The point at which you push back the hardest is often the place you have the most to learn. I found in my leadership and ministry, the times when I've said like, ah, they just don't get, oh, they're wrong. Oh, that's dumb. Oh, they, they don't know my, my place. Most of the time, whenever I push back like that, it's only because my mind hasn't been open to what's possible. I haven't seen what they've seen. Haven't experienced what they've experienced. And that's the point where I generally have the most to learn. So I want to say, Harold, thank you. And to the rest of you for your questions, email us anytime. And I'm not done yet. I got more to tell you, so don't go away. Email us anytime at leadershipife Church. And I want to encourage you to think about your story behind your story. The reality is that wherever you are in leadership today, you may not be the leader today that you want to be, but you have in you already very real leadership potential. When I was 25, 28, 30, 35, 40, 42, 47, I wasn't the leader that I am today, but God had already put in me then what was necessary to develop to help become the leader that I am. And I want you just to give yourself permission to think back to your childhood. Think about promises that you made, like I will never be, like so and so, or one day I promise I will. Whatever. These are very powerful shaping forces, even the painful times in your life. And I say, like, especially the painful times. And I would say again, the purpose of this podcast is to develop leaders, not to push my faith on you, but I would just say, respectfully, that God is writing your story and I would encourage you to trust him and seek Him. If you're a person of faith, cry out to him. And don't ever underestimate the spiritual side of leadership. What's amazing to those of you who share my faith, we believe that whenever we're weak, our God makes us strong. And that whenever we go through something difficult, God comforts us in the same way, so we one day can comfort and lead others in the same way. And that he's working together, all things together for good in our lives, even the difficult things. So be encouraged. God is writing your story, and I believe it's going to be a good one. Before I tell you about what's coming up, I want to give away some books today that are related to our subject. My good friend, Dr. John Maxwell is the best of the best of the best, and he has a book called Good Leaders. Ask great questions. If you'd like to win one of five copies, hop over to YouTube. If you're not there yet already, go to YouTube and type in the comment section. I want to ask great questions. If you'd like to win, we'll pick one of five names, give out five copies of the book, and just type in the comment section. I want to ask great questions. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to drop one episode per week, and I'm going to work really hard to bring you valuable content. We're going to be short direct. Your time is valuable. I'm going to give you my best to help you get better. What you can do for me, that's a real gift, is if you haven't subscribed, subscribe now. Hit the subscribe button. If you've never written a review or rated the content, it's going to take you 30 seconds. If you do that for me, it'll help us reach more people, and my goal is to bring you the highest value per minute of any podcast you listen to. My goal Hope you join us next Thursday for more of my goals to help you get better. Because we know that everyone wins when the leader gets better.