Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike
Episode: Go Get A Cup - Episode 240
Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike)
Overview
In this lively episode of Crash Dummies Podcast, Pat, Mike, and frequent guest Gene tackle hilarious hypotheticals, dissect recent live show moments, and provide plenty of wild listener call-ins. They riff through topics like dubious life advice, odd weight loss tips, the etiquette of buying meals for friends, boundary-pushing AI, relationship drama, and social media’s warped engagement culture. Expect rapid-fire banter, playful roasts, and real, unfiltered listener stories.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Weight Loss Advice, Self-Deception, and Fooling Others
- Pat explores how people flock to anyone who achieves visible success—even if their methods are questionable. He confesses to offering advice he doesn’t live by:
"Sometimes, like, I'll give them advice...But I don't do that shit." (Pat, 00:38)
- Pat humorously describes inventing the "3-2-1 Rule" for weight loss—no eating three hours before bed, no water two hours before bed, no phone one hour before bed—while admitting he rarely follows it in reality. (00:38–01:15)
- Gene and Pat discuss childhood food trauma, overeating, and how being forced to finish your plate can create bad habits. (09:44–11:07)
2. Recapping the Live Show Experience
- The hosts enthusiastically share stories from their recent live podcast show, emphasizing the diverse, energetic crowd and unique encounters (e.g., an unidentifiably-aged fan called the “Chile dude,” a bus driver who repeatedly declared himself an “autistic bus driver”).
"It looked like a UN meeting." (Pat, 04:24)
- They reflect on great crowd interaction and their first “heckler,” which leads to comedic takes on regional differences and shoe choices (Penny Hardaways). (04:25–05:11)
- Pat:
"Heckler ended up being a good dude. He just aggressive. He won DMV." (Pat, 04:32)
- Hilarious recounting of awkward fan interactions—like the over-friendly, tipsy guy who went in for multiple cheek-touching daps and backrubs. (05:56–07:04)
3. Upcoming Tour, Ticket Scarcity, and FOMO
- Gene announces an email sign-up for upcoming city tours, with warnings that shows "will sell out fast."
"All these first ones are definitely going to sell out fast. So I don't want to see no DMs, nothing." (Pat, 08:52)
- Pat urges listeners to plan ahead, but jokingly refuses to handle last-minute ticket requests.
4. Wacky Listener Call-ins & Relationship Messes
Listeners provide a goldmine of chaotic real-life stories, revealing an array of conflicts, drama, and wild perspectives.
A. Cheating, Trust Issues, and Self-Reflection
- One caller shares the saga of being cheated on by a girlfriend with her supposedly gay best friend, only to discover the friend was experimenting. The discussion dissected the red flags he missed ("She was hiding me from her story") and his attempts at confronting the situation.
"That was never your girl." (Pat, 29:25)
- Another caller outlines his “cheat-for-cheat” philosophy—it's only unfair if one person cheats more:
"If two people are talking or together, and they're equally cheating...then it's fair." (Guest, 34:12)
- The hosts gleefully roast the concept and parse the rules.
- Conversation about being a “lover boy” who repeatedly gaslights himself into accepting poor treatment.
"Stop loving these hoes...if she bad enough, hey, I'm all for it." (Guest, 33:01)
B. "What You Doing" Texts & Dating Economics
- A New York caller rails against the constant flood of "what you doing?" texts, only to admit that money—$40 will do—makes the question tolerable:
"If you want to talk to me and you care about me...somewhere around $40." (Mike, 46:50)
C. Betrayal and College Friend Drama
- Multiple listeners recount stories of betrayal and “ratting out” by frenemies, including a college group chat gone wrong.
- Savage message to an ex-friend:
"Hope you pregnant with five kids and no baby daddy, and you struggling out here in the real world." (Mike, 60:59)
D. Hot Takes, Unusual Preferences, and Controversies
- Listeners drop wild “hot takes” (e.g., “Michael Jackson’s Thriller is actually about crack”; 76:40).
- One shares his sexual preference for “clothes on, partially on sex”, and the hosts probe for details about his marriage and background (Grenada). (73:02–75:58)
5. Tech & Social Media Satire: Misuse and Misinformation
- Discussion about the growing misuse of AI tools like Grok, which can edit users' photos for viral pranks or harmful content:
"They can put him in a bikini under his own picture." (Pat, 15:54)
- Concerns about authenticity and safety, as well as how these tools can spiral into harassment. (15:54–17:00)
- Critique of “engagement farming” and misinformation on social media—highlighting how rage-bait and misleading tweets have replaced genuine online interaction:
“Everybody’s trolling now.” (Pat, 93:02)
- Includes warnings about “people tweeting out of context videos” and the dangers of perpetuating false narratives.
6. Life Advice: Lying to Coworkers & Oversharing
- The hosts underscore the value of withholding personal information in workplace settings:
"I cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your coworkers." (Pat, 97:12)
- Dangers of oversharing or trusting coworkers with secrets, especially regarding relationships or personal struggles (97:12–99:26)
- Gene notes the different secrecy dynamics between male and female friendships.
7. Random Fun Debates & Wild Hypotheticals
- Etiquette when a friend pays for your meal—should you match their order or go bigger? (17:44–19:53)
- Urban slang explained: “Eskimo brothers” and “d*ck sisters,” with theories about the origins of these terms (12:25–13:56)
- Amusing hypothetical: Would you rather work your first job forever or marry your ex? (79:08–79:16)
8. Twitter & Social Commentary
- Discussion about people who admit to flaws before anyone notices ("There's nothing crazier than someone, like, having a flaw and telling you before you've seen the flaw.") (96:02)
- Rant against “having a bad temper but a good heart” memes.
- Final thoughts include hilarious warnings about witchcraft, voodoo, and protecting your DNA from would-be spell-casters (104:42–106:48).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Giving Dubious Life Advice
"I damn near don't use half the advice I give out..." (Pat, 01:19)
- Live Show Vibes
"It looked like a UN meeting." (Pat, 04:24)
- On Relationship Cheating
"If two people are talking or together or something, and they're equally cheating on each other, then it's fair." (Guest, 34:12)
"So, so, after you saw the pictures, what was the confrontation like?" (Pat, 27:33)
"She was like, 'Yeah, Aaron.'...Never liked you." (Guest, 28:18)
- On Money and Texts
"I mean, it could be $40. It could be a cute little $40." (Mike, 46:53)
- On Social Media Misinformation
"Everybody's trolling now." (Pat, 93:02)
- On Lying to Your Coworkers
"I cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your coworkers." (Pat, 97:12)
- On Straightforward (and Hot) Takes
"Michael Jackson. The song Thriller by Michael Jackson is actually about crack." (Guest, 76:40)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Dubious life advice & weight loss rules: 00:37–01:19
- Live show highlights & crowd stories: 03:16–05:19
- Tour & what to expect from upcoming shows: 08:03–09:13
- Wild “cheater-for-cheater” relationship takes: 34:12–36:00
- “What you doing?” texts & transactional DMs: 42:17–46:56
- AI misuse & Grok dangers: 15:10–17:23
- Twitter/online engagement & misinformation culture: 92:02–93:34
- Lying to coworkers & why to avoid oversharing: 97:12–99:26
- Hot takes and listener confessions: 76:40–78:05, 83:15–86:14
- Witchcraft, DNA, and “protecting your energy”: 104:42–106:58
Tone & Style
The podcast is irreverent, raw, and fast-paced, characterized by playful insult humor, deep-cut references, and unguarded opinions. Pat and Mike’s chemistry ignites fun, honest (sometimes wild) exchanges both with each other and their audience. There’s no topic too taboo or too trivial for the Crash Dummies treatment.
Summary for the Uninitiated
Episode 240 is a tour de force of chaotic energy and comedic observational wisdom, grounded by real-life stories from listeners and the hosts. If you want to hear off-the-cuff debates about friend etiquette, relationship boundaries, the absurdity of social media, and unfiltered advice from the trenches, look no further than Crash Dummies’ latest episode.