Crazy Love Podcast: “Marriage on Mission (Pt. 2) | Francis & Lisa Chan”
Date: February 2, 2026
Host: Crazy Love Ministries
Guests: Francis Chan & Lisa Chan
Episode Overview
This insightful episode continues Francis and Lisa Chan’s practical and vulnerable exploration of what it means for a marriage to be “on mission”—not just focused on personal happiness or “family first,” but on loving God and making disciples together as a household. The Chans answer real-life questions from couples and parents:
- How do spouses unite when they feel called to different missions?
- How can parents raise kids with true conviction, not just head knowledge?
- How do families stay on mission without neglecting Sabbath, extended family, or burning out in a broken world?
Throughout, Francis and Lisa combine biblical conviction and personal testimony, honestly sharing failures, fears, and the blessings they’ve found in trusting God’s bigger mission for their household.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Unity in Marriage Mission – When Spouses Feel Called in Different Directions
- (01:07–07:05)
- Submission and Headship: Lisa explains that biblically, a husband is called to lead as Christ leads the church—sacrificially and lovingly. If there’s a directional conflict, she advocates for the wife to submit to the husband's spiritual leadership, trusting God to use her gifts within that mission.
- Lisa (01:46): “God has chosen them as the leaders of the home...the safest place she can be is in the will of God, which is to submit to your husbands in everything as unto the Lord.”
- Blessing Through Authority: Francis affirms this, pushing back against today’s anti-authority mentality.
- Francis (03:18): “Authority is actually a good thing. ...I love being under the authority of God. I love having Him as master. I love the commands He gives me.”
- Parental Example: Francis underscores how submitting to godly authority blesses the family and paints a beautiful, countercultural picture to children and the watching world.
2. Raising Kids With Conviction, Not Just Knowledge
- (07:05–13:29)
- Conviction is a Miracle: Lisa admits the heartbreak of seeing kids wander spiritually, and stresses parents can’t produce conviction—only model authentic faith and pray for their children.
- Lisa (07:05): “All we can do is show them our authentic faith, our willingness to say, we love you most, God, but the rest is in the Lord's hands.”
- Letting Go and Trusting God: Francis shares vulnerably about his own daughter’s faith journey—recognizing that only the Holy Spirit can transform someone from the inside.
- Francis (09:26): “It's a miracle when the Holy Spirit enters into someone...Until the Holy Spirit enters into them, we're all just talking—it's all going to fall on deaf ears.”
- Hard Truths and Unconditional Love: Francis recalls telling his daughter, “I just don't think you love God...You do good things because we give you those rules, but it's not coming from inside” (10:12).
3. Balancing Ministry, Family, and Preventing Burnout/Bitterness
- (13:29–21:45)
- No Divide Between Family and Mission: Francis challenges the Western ideal of privacy and separation. Their home is a constant site of ministry—discipling not just their own kids, but others in need, and blurring the lines between “family time” and “mission.”
- Francis (14:11): “Our house is ministry...We've had all sorts of people living in our house...It's been about discipleship in the house...There's not the separation of—I have ministry time, and then I have family time.”
- Modeling Sacrifice and Eternal Perspective: Lisa reframes Francis’s travels/ministry as a compelling example for their children, not a deprivation.
- Lisa (17:39): “We invite them in...It's not like Mom and Dad go do ministry and I'm left on my own.”
- Kids on Mission: They intentionally involve even young children in prayer, decision-making, travel, and serving, training them to see the bigger picture.
4. Reframing “Family First” vs. Gospel Mission
- (22:14–27:33)
- Challenging Christian Lingo: Francis questions the widespread notion that “marriage is my first ministry”—urging listeners to ground their priorities in Scripture, not cultural ideals.
- Francis (23:01): “Show me in the book, you know, a verse that I exposited the wrong way...because I don't ever want to be wrong in how I exposit, or show me a verse or two that I maybe didn't see in there.”
- Testimonies of Change: Lisa shares stories of older believers challenged to move beyond “happy but useless” marriages to actually bear kingdom fruit.
- Lisa (24:18): “I really want to make sure that we're not just having a happy marriage and we're useless for the kingdom.”
- Trusting God to Move Hearts: They emphasize their job is to model and tell the truth; it’s God’s Spirit that brings true change.
5. Biblical Instruction and Including Kids in the Mission
- (27:33–32:14)
- Contextualizing Deuteronomy 6: Francis points out that God’s instruction to “impress these things on your children” involves active, life-on-life discipleship—not isolation.
- Francis (28:22): “Take them on the mission with you and show them that the mission is first...As you go along the way, I'm not only teaching you God's word...I want to show you God's word in action.”
6. Sabbath and Extended Family Responsibilities
- (32:14–35:59)
- Learning to Rest: Francis admits learning the necessity of Sabbath later in ministry—making space to rest and model faith for his kids.
- Francis (32:55): “There is a pattern, there is a faith in that...And I have now on my phone, Sabbath on Saturday or Friday.”
- Caring for Elderly Family: Both share their journey of honoring parents, bringing them into their home, and adjusting as needed, while also navigating when to say “no” to extended family demands that conflict with God’s call.
- Lisa (34:10): “It’s a very interesting road of trying to figure out at what point you’re responding to expectations rather than the will of the Lord...We have to always be asking the Lord.”
- Francis (35:59): “Don’t listen to me (if I get old and needy)—there’s a mission out there and you can’t even let me keep you from that mission.”
7. Preparing Children for a Broken Culture
- (36:32–39:20)
- Engagement, Not Isolation: Their children attend public schools in San Francisco, learning to stand strong in faith amid challenges.
- Francis (36:52): “Public school...They are freaks on their campuses. Like, they don't fit in...If they can make it through public school in San Francisco and keep their faith and stand for their faith...they're good.”
- Open Conversations About Brokenness: Lisa highlights how they proactively talk about issues like pornography, preparing their kids for real-world temptations rather than sheltering them entirely.
- Lisa (37:45): “I’m talking with my 10 year old son about pornography already because I want him to know and be prepared...We cannot shelter them from the world as much as we want to.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Authority is actually a good thing. ...If Adam and Eve had actually submitted to their authority, the authority was a good thing.” —Francis (03:18)
- “Our biggest job is to show them what it looks like [to follow Jesus] and to pray for them.” —Lisa (07:05)
- “It's a miracle when the Holy Spirit enters into someone...Until the Holy Spirit enters into them, we're all just talking—it's all going to fall on deaf ears.” —Francis (09:26)
- “Our house is ministry. ...There's not the separation of—I have ministry time, and then I have family time.” —Francis (14:11)
- “We’ve got to do something different, just be encouraged that God is going to use your example in the lives of others that he’s already stirring in. So do it, drop everything, change things, and believe that God’s going to use your example.” —Lisa (27:10)
- “Take them on the mission with you...I want to show you God’s word in action.” —Francis (28:22)
- “It’s a Holy Spirit dance of keeping step with the Spirit, because he will tell you when you’re off.” —Lisa (34:10)
- “Don’t listen to me...if I get old and needy—there’s a mission out there and you can’t even let me keep you from that mission.” —Francis (35:59)
- “Public school...They are freaks on their campuses... If they can make it through public school in San Francisco and keep their faith...they’re good.” —Francis (36:52)
- “It is hard not to have him home all the time. But the will of God, it says, is to rejoice in all circumstances and to give thanks.” —Lisa (17:39)
Impact & Testimonies
- (39:20–46:01)
- The Chans reflect on the impact of their book, You and Me Forever, sharing stories of lives changed globally—including rescued women and children in East Africa, thanks to proceeds from the book.
- Francis (43:15): “A year ago, they were sitting in a little room, terrified...Now I’m watching them, these beautiful women just jumping, glowing with this future and this hope and this love for Jesus.”
- Lisa (41:25): “I was not prepared...to walk up and see this gorgeous building and these girls dressed up with their graduation gowns...I thought, now these women know their true Father, and God can be a father to all these little children.”
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [01:07] Q&A starts: Handling different callings in marriage
- [07:05] On conviction vs. knowledge in parenting
- [13:29] Guarding home against ministry-induced bitterness and neglect
- [22:14] Refuting “family is the first mission” theology
- [27:33] Integrating kids in God’s mission, not sidelining them
- [32:14] Sabbath and honoring extended family (boundaries & honor)
- [36:32] Prepping kids for a broken world — “Christian bubble” question
- [39:20] Update/testimony: Impact of “You and Me Forever” proceeds in Africa
- [41:25] Life-changing stories from East Africa and lessons for their own children
Tone and Takeaways
The Chans blend heartfelt transparency, challenge, and biblical truth. Their central plea: let’s move beyond the American Christian “idols” of comfort, safety, and happiness to pursue God’s adventure of sacrificial, all-in mission—bringing our families, children, and others along for the ride. The journey isn’t easy and requires ongoing prayerful wisdom, but it's what families and marriages are truly made for.
Memorable Closer:
Lisa (44:43): “Don’t lose hope, you know, keep fighting for what is on God’s heart and believing that he’s orchestrating something really beautiful.”
For more resources and to access “You and Me Forever,” visit youandmeforever.org.