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Welcome to the Crazy Love podcast. Today we're debuting a new series called Staff Talks with Francis, where we occasionally share conversations from our Crazy Love staff meetings. These aren't sermons or conference messages, just honest moments where Francis and our team reflect on leadership, discipleship and. And following Christ faithfully. In this episode, Francis talks about something he wrestled with during a long trip home from Brazil. The pressure to keep up with everything happening in the world. But what if the real fear of missing out is missing what God wants to say?

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I think there's one primarily thought I want to share here afterwards. Maybe I can talk with content team or whoever wants to about just some stuff on that. I don't know if Brent will be able to join us for that, but more recorded somehow. But, you know, I just got back from Brazil. It was a lot of travel calculated. It was 54 hours of just flying in, layovers and drives and gosh, I really wasn't gone that long and to be, you know, but I just thought, no, I'm going to look forward to it. I'm going to see it as a sanctuary. I can just have some quiet. And just in the first two hours, it was already awesome. It was. The Lord was just revealing things and showing me things and feeling like I struggled with, I guess, a form of FOMO where I just want to know about everything. So you don't sound stupid. Oh, there's a war in Ukraine. You know, like, I just. That there's so many wars to keep up with and what's going on with all of them and homeland Security, and you just feel like I don't know enough about, you know, what's happening in every city. And. And then on top of that, there's theological issues where it's like, oh, you don't know that we don't believe in hell anymore or whatever it is. It's like there's. So there's constant new things you feel like you got to keep up with. And then there's. There's new cults and denominations every week. And, you know, Marissa and I have been studying, you know, Catholicism as, you know, interacting. Like today I'll be interacting with, you know, a priest later in Phoenix and then group of nuns the next day. And there's just so much to know. And then when I was in Brazil, I'm like, gosh, I don't even know what's going on with the government. I know it's bad. I don't, you know, and they're like, can you pray for the government? And I'm like, sure. But, you know, I don't even get it. And so there's just. You just. And then there's all these attacks on different. I shouldn't even say attacks exposing and attacks on different ministers. And it's like, oh, shoot, I really should know what's being said about everyone. And so you just try to keep up with all of that. And then, I don't know, your mind gets in this. Like, I don't have time to acquire all this information. And that's why I even dropped out of the stock market because it's like I can't help but throughout the day try to find, oh, what's happening with this stock and this stock and this stock and, you know, and then how the Lakers doing? How you just, you just get in a mode of like, I want to know everything, where's the weather, where I'm going and when I come back and. And then on top of that, there is screen time. And then being on the airplane, it's like, I'm just gonna veg and watch a movie, you know, I deserve at least two hours out of 54, you know, and there was just a real time of the Lord revealing to me that you can't know it all, experience it all. And honestly, he gave me a greater FOMO where he says, if you're going to do all that, what if I had something to say to you? But you were watching a video, you were studying, you were doing this, this, this. You asked me for things. But then I really got a serious fear of missing out. What if I come to the end of my life and he said I had so much more for you? And I thought that is a very real possibility that I get pressured in to knowing all these things and shamed into what? You didn't know that about this person or that person. You haven't watched this video, that video, that, that. Wow. What if in silence, God just wanted to tell me how much he loved me that day, But I was scrolling or I don't even know how to scroll, but, you know, like, I was doing this or that and jumping from one thing to next. And now it's like, I seriously was just on the plane going, God, I don't want to miss it. I really don't want to miss it. We didn't have this problem 50 years ago, 40 years ago, probably even 30 years ago, or not as badly. It's just, wow, what happened. And there's a discipline. You can have to set your life up. You can't just go well, that's just the way we are, because I am a little ocd, and if someone leaves me a message, I got to get back to them right away or emails or whatever. They're waiting for me. I don't like people waiting on me. I don't like being late. It's where Lisa and I are very different. It's just. I want to get there on time or before or I don't want anyone sitting in the car waiting for me. I just. I don't want people on text waiting for me. And yet there's just. These aren't bad things. It's not bad to want to know all these theological issues. It's not bad to want to know the needs of the world. It's. And what's going on in the world. It's not bad to want to respond to everyone in a timely fashion. But you really can't do it all, or you will miss out on the most important things, and you miss out on what you were created for and the fellowship. And he started showing like, you could miss out on. Family, even, and key time that you have, that's, like, precious, that you don't know how much longer you have with some of these kids or, you know, at my age, it's just how much time you have, period. But it's more like, okay, how much longer is Ellie going to be in the home and she can meet someone the next time we go to an event or Zeke or whatever? You know, it's like. And then Silas and Claire, it's like, oh, gosh, I gotta just control the screens and the demands and the pressure and the shaming of, you don't know this. You don't know that, and I don't want to miss that. And then it's opportunities of people right in front of you because you're answering everyone that's in your pocket, you know, and how many times do we miss those conversations, those opportunities? And, I mean, how many times have you been in a room where you go, you later find out, oh, my gosh, I had no idea that person was going through that. Friends of mine that have committed suicide. And it's like, wow, I was right there. I just saw them the day before, but I wasn't alert to it. And I just, you know. Yeah, I just started jotting some of these thoughts about the real FOMO that I have in my life that I want to keep. God, I know you made me for a purpose, and I don't want to miss that. And so some of that just Means discipline, self control to say, okay, maybe I only check my text three times a day and set an alarm for it. And then I just don't look at my phone. Maybe email becomes a once a day thing at this hour. And, yeah, sorry, they'll have to wait. And maybe they won't text as much if they know they're not getting. You know, I mean, sometimes that's just true. It's like, you get it, you know, hey, oh, never mind. I figured it out. Good. See, I saved myself. You know, those types of things where it's like, I don't know, who says I have to know all these things? And then I'm setting a terrible example for my children, for other people, because I'm not alert, I'm not present. And so it's kind of being present with the Lord, being present with who's in the room, you know, and that means really disciplining and limiting the video intake and everything else, but got me real excited and just even thinking about, okay, what opportunities are there coming up and how do I make the most of my time with my family and everything else. And I was reading about Saint Francis of Assisi. Assisi. And I know we say Assisi, but then I heard someone pronounce it right on one of the videos I was watching. But it was. It was just. It's pretty cool because someone had told. Did I already share this about God telling me or someone telling me, you should consider going on his path? And so I was reading an article about him and Claire, you know, and I thought, wow, that's really cool. And so then I sent it to Claire and I thought maybe I should just take the time and walk on a pilgrimage with Claire, you know, and Ellie's been, you know, trying to start this business, and I was just not doing great. And maybe I need to jump in and be her business partner and kill it, you know, and just like, let's just go for it and am I going to regret these things? And then when I was in Brazil, I got to catch up with David Platt. It was just awesome because we just happened to be at the same stadium and a lot of the other guys weren't there. And so just catching up in his life. And he was sharing something out of Genesis that he just discovered this week that was pretty cool. And it was right where our reading is. And he was talking about how he noticed in Genesis 28, when you have that dream of Jacob and he just sets a stone in like, this is Bethel. This is the house of God. This is a special place. And so I'm going to go up to Haran, but I'm going to come back here. You know, this is the spot. And so he goes, gets his girls, family, whatever comes back, but he doesn't come back to Bethel. He stops short in Shechem and everything really falls apart there. You know, his daughter gets raped, and then his sons kill all the men in the city, and then they're stenched to everyone and then leave and like, okay, you know, hey, let's go to Bethel. And then they come to Bethel and it's like. But he's just making. He's just saying, in my life, I don't want to stop short of what I know God's called me to. I don't want to, like, make this journey. And just. He goes, that doesn't. You know, obviously there's grace for everything else. And don't take this to an extreme, but it's like, could it be that sometimes in our lives we don't trust God and just go that little bit more to what we really know he called us to. And we're just talking about our lives. And he did, you know, when I was talking about church and everything else, I mean, he was so encouraging and. And he's like taking notes the whole time. But he says, you know, this is. I shared with him. It's pretty amazing that I just now figured out that I was at cornerstone for 16 years and then 16 years in house church. And he's like, wow, you really need to pay attention to that. That is like. He goes, I don't think a single year, a single month of that was wasted, that this was the Lord's timing all to now that there is something that you're called a steward in all of that. And I just put that all together and thinking, yeah, I don't want to back off on what God's showing me with hearing his voice. And, okay, God, have me go to the extreme. You want me to go, you know, like a St. Francis. It's like, okay. And like, Claire, who's just like, you know, the old, old Claire, the dead Claire, you know, just like, yeah, I'm gonna forsake all of this. All of this, you know, like, I don't wanna. I don't want to be afraid or look at things that didn't go the way I thought they would go, and now suddenly back off as though God is not able to do these miraculous things. And I do believe God is convicting me to do some outrageous things that I go, this is over. And just to remind you, like, when I was in Hong Kong the first time and I thought I was going to settle in there, trying to make sure I don't exaggerate, I would say the two times I most clearly heard the voice of the Lord was once in Hong Kong during that trip and then once at Ywam. Those would be the top two. And, you know, other times, there are just convictions, I think, and I do believe he spoke. But if I were to write down what are the top two things? Top two times, number one or two, they're interchangeable. Hong Kong, when I thought I was going to move there back in 2010, and I really believe that God said, no, you have to go back to the US Because I hated that thought. I dreaded that thought. I loved it in Hong Kong. And really believing God says there's a different paradigm for church that you're supposed to, I don't know, exemplify or whatever. Like, you know, the thing is, sometimes it's usually not for me. I can't say that I heard an audible voice, but that doesn't matter. Like, we're talking about God, who doesn't have to go through my eardrums to get a thought in my mind or in my soul. He's the Creator. He can do communicate to me without my eyes and ears or even my mind imagining, according to First Corinthians, he'll communicate. He'll reveal things through his spirit. And it's like, I just knew I couldn't stay in Hong Kong. We have to go back. I didn't want to tell Lisa. I didn't want to tell the kids because it was just sad. Like, hey, guys, I think we're gonna go back to America. It was a letdown. It was just sad. And I remember telling God, I go, I don't have the mind to lead, like, the world into or America into a new form of church. And I don't have that. Give it to someone else. I'm not that kind of leader. But also knowing that God always calls me to things that are over my head. And then the second time, as some of you know, that I really felt was when I was at Ywam the first time and walking to Ohana Court and him saying, these are your children. Protect your children. And. And it was like. And that time was more of a clear phrase. Like, you know, like, what did you just talk to me like? Because I didn't hear it, but I did. And are you telling me that these are my Children. Why are these my children? Why this place? I speak every week. Like, why? What was going on here? And if you remember, I'm in prayer during worship. Like, did you just talk to me? I'm sorry if I doubted you, but I'm just still scared to say I heard your voice. Did you tell me these are your children? And then that's when Brian Brent, who I didn't know at the time, just some old guy, whispers in my ear, these are your children? Shut up. There's no way. And so the thought of this season now where Andy Bird is starting this new thing, and he's going to Charlotte, which I know. Yeah, yeah. That's just. Yeah, that's the same thing. It's just like, wow. Don't feel any pull that way. But the concept of him saying he needs to marry whatever he's doing with the local church and church planting, and I'm just going, no, there's got to be a tie to the ancient church. And then with David Platt this last week, we're just talking about, there's no way we can pass on this form of church that we're currently doing to the new generation, because they're not going to make it. I had way more years of just, you slowly, you know, you're just the janitor at first, and then you're the intern, and then you're this, this, this, this, this. And Keller used to talk about that. He goes, what helped him was for whatever, 30 years, no one knew his name. And so you've got all these years of just being a servant to the Lord in your local congregation. Now suddenly you're Tim Keller. You've always been Tim Keller, but now you're a Tim Keller. And. But you've got the integrity to deal with all of the attacks that come with being Tim Keller and all of the flattery and weight and. I mean, he was heavy, but I meant more like the. Like the. I don't know what you call it. The mantle or. Yeah, but you had years to prepare. And so now these young people that are going into ministry, they're. Overnight, they can get a bunch of followers, like thousands, hundreds of thousands followers overnight. I mean, they're not real followers, but they think they are. And it's like, whoa. And then to deal with the amount of flattery and aggression, antagonism towards you, there's no way they're gonna make it. They haven't had the years to build. And so we're gonna keep pushing this. There's no way. There's no Way things have to change. And I just think if I can be quiet enough and present enough and not listening to all the voices and the accuser through fellow believers of. It's just accusation, accusation, accusation. If you can hear the voice of God and be present with the people before you and just go, yeah, my God can do anything. And there are some Red Sea type moments that I find myself in. Like, I don't see how this is even possible. And yet those stories are there to remind us, no, that's where you want to be. And I think that was a thing with leaving Hong Kong and the thing with now going, gosh, the opportunities that are out there. It'd be very easy for me to just back away in the flesh and go, it's too much. But I feel like the Lord's downloading, like, no, here's how you do it. Here's some of this, here's some of that still. Like, are you kidding me? But I'm excited. I'm excited to pursue it and feel more. I feel very alive. And some of it is just disciplining my thoughts and what I'm taking in. And, yeah, I feel like I know my lane better. Like, I don't have to be that. And maybe I need to be the example of the guy that's like, yeah, I don't know that because I don't actually believe. I have to know that because the things I need to know take a long time to truly know in my soul. And I think that's the problem in the church is everyone now is feeling a pressure to know so many things intellectually that they really don't know. His love deeply and his calling and their place and their lane. And God's made it clear through my whole life. Kind of like what David was saying. You have a lot of years to sort of. And a lot of things that he's shown you. And that's what I tell the older generation. It's like, gosh, we know what life was like before all these gadgets. So that's a stewardship. You laughing. As I said gadgets. Yeah, I know. What do you call them? What do you children call them? Low key. Will's the one that knows these devices. Devices. Okay. All right. Sound less lame. What's that? Sounds a little less lame that way. Yeah, sounds less lame. Do you even say lame anymore? I do. You do? Okay. I don't want to get cooked.