#231: "No friends’ weddings for 10 years" – my take on the Hormozi post [Voice Memo] - Creator Science with Jay Clouse

Summary6 min read

Creator Science Podcast - Episode #231: "No Friends’ Weddings for 10 Years" – My Take on the Hormozi Post [Voice Memo]

Release Date: December 14, 2024
Host: Jay Clouse

Introduction

In Episode #231 of Creator Science, host Jay Clouse delves into a thought-provoking discussion sparked by a recent post from entrepreneur Alex Hormozi. The episode examines the profound sacrifices often associated with extraordinary success, particularly focusing on Hormozi's controversial stance on personal sacrifices over a decade-long journey to business achievement.

Overview of Alex Hormozi's Post

The episode begins with Jay summarizing Alex Hormozi's impactful social media post. Hormozi shared a before-and-after photo juxtaposing his life from 2014 to 2024, highlighting a monumental shift from managing a second gym with $600K in revenue to overseeing a private equity firm with a $250 million portfolio.

Jay Clouse [00:01]: “2014, my second gym was at 600k in revenue. 2024, my PE firm, $250 million in portfolio revenue. The secret, no distractions for 10 years. No meaningless purchases for 10 years. No clubbing for 10 years. No fantasy football for 10 years. No friends' weddings for 10 years. You better start now, because it takes way longer than you think. Just win.”

This statement, particularly the phrase “No friends’ weddings for 10 years,” stirred significant debate among followers and industry peers, with many criticizing the notion as overly rigid and detrimental to personal relationships.

The Cost of Extraordinary Success

Jay uses Hormozi's post as a springboard to explore the broader theme of the sacrifices entailed in achieving exceptional success. He emphasizes that while Hormozi's achievements are laudable, they often come at the expense of personal and social aspects of life.

Jay Clouse [04:35]: “People that we look up to and say, man, I wish I could achieve what they achieved... It often, almost always, actually comes at the sacrifice of essentially everything else.”

Jay argues that the relentless pursuit of success typically necessitates significant compromises, including limited time for family, friends, and personal well-being. He shares his observations from interacting with high-achieving individuals, noting a common pattern of singular focus overshadowing other life domains.

Insight from "Founders" Podcast by David Senra

To reinforce his points, Jay references the podcast "Founders" by David Senra, where Senra analyzes biographies of historically significant figures. Jay appreciates Senra's ability to distill complex lives into insightful summaries but expresses a critical view of the recurring narrative of relentless drive with minimal personal life mentions.

Jay Clouse [09:15]: “It's like, guy with incredible drive, does everything it takes to win. And it never mentions his family, it never mentions his kids... It comes at a massive, real human emotional cost.”

This observation underscores the often one-dimensional portrayal of success in popular media, where personal relationships and emotional well-being are sidelined.

Balancing Success and Personal Life

Addressing the possibility of achieving both high-level success and a fulfilling personal life, Jay presents a nuanced perspective. He acknowledges that while it's not impossible, it is highly unlikely and typically requires favorable conditions and strategic prioritization.

Jay Clouse [13:50]: “It's highly unlikely. You'd have to have a lot of other good breaks in your favor because at some level, success is a math problem.”

He breaks down success as a function of compounded effort over time, illustrating how even marginal gains in dedication can lead to significant advantages in the long run.

Strategic Focus and Selectivity

Jay advises creators and entrepreneurs to be strategic about their pursuits, suggesting that one should either select battles wisely or adjust their ambitions to align with the sacrifices they are willing to make.

Jay Clouse [16:20]: “You need to be really selective about the games that you play... Or you need to right size your ambitions a little bit and be okay with the sacrifices and trade-offs and compromises you are not willing to make.”

This strategy involves understanding one's limits and setting realistic goals that harmonize with personal values and desired lifestyle.

Modeling After the Right Inspirations

A key takeaway from the episode is the importance of critically evaluating the figures we choose to emulate. Jay emphasizes that aspiring to replicate someone else's success requires understanding the full scope of their journey, including the compromises that may not align with one's own values or life goals.

Jay Clouse [19:40]: “Look at the people you are modeling after... are they making sacrifices and compromises and trade-offs that you're not willing to make?”

He cautions that without this comprehensive understanding, individuals may set themselves up for burnout or dissatisfaction by striving for a version of success that doesn't fit their personal life framework.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Jay wraps up the episode by reinforcing the central message: achieving high levels of success often demands significant personal sacrifices, and it's crucial to assess whether those trade-offs align with one's own values and life objectives.

Jay Clouse [23:15]: “If they don't [share your values], it's not a fair comparison to yourself to expect that you are going to have the same success if you're not willing to make the same compromises.”

He encourages listeners to engage with the content by leaving comments and sharing their thoughts, fostering a community of creators who are thoughtful about the paths they choose in their professional and personal lives.

Listener Engagement

In the closing segment, Jay invites listeners to connect and share their perspectives on the discussed topic, emphasizing the importance of community feedback and shared experiences in navigating the complexities of creative and entrepreneurial success.

Jay Clouse [24:30]: “If you're on Spotify, leave a comment. Let me know what you think about this. I'd love to hear from you.”

Key Takeaways

Extraordinary Success Requires Sacrifice: Achieving significant business milestones often entails considerable personal and social compromises.
Selective Focus: Strategically choosing which pursuits to engage in can help balance professional aspirations with personal well-being.
Critical Role Models: It's essential to understand the full scope of successful individuals' lives, including the sacrifices made, before modeling after them.
Realistic Ambitions: Aligning ambitions with one's willingness to make necessary trade-offs can lead to more sustainable and fulfilling success.

Notable Quotes

Jay Clouse [00:01]: “No friends’ weddings for 10 years. You better start now, because it takes way longer than you think. Just win.”
Jay Clouse [09:15]: “It never mentions his family, it never mentions his kids. They’re like a footnote in the story.”
Jay Clouse [16:20]: “You need to be really selective about the games that you play... Or you need to right size your ambitions.”
Jay Clouse [19:40]: “Are they making sacrifices and compromises and trade-offs that you're not willing to make?”
Jay Clouse [23:15]: “If they don't [share your values], it's not a fair comparison to yourself to expect that you are going to have the same success if you're not willing to make the same compromises.”

Final Reflection

This episode of Creator Science serves as a candid exploration of the often-unspoken costs of entrepreneurial success. Jay Clouse provides a balanced perspective, acknowledging both the allure of high achievement and the personal toll it can exact. By encouraging listeners to critically assess their own values and the sacrifices they're willing to make, Jay offers valuable guidance for creators striving to navigate the complex landscape of personal and professional growth.

If you enjoyed this summary and want to dive deeper into strategies for sustainable growth as a creator, tune into more episodes of Creator Science with Jay Clouse.

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Transcript1 lines

[00:01]
A
This week, there was a lot of attention around a post that Alex Hormozi made. And it started off with a before and after photo of him 10 years ago and then him today. And it said 2014, my second gym was at 600k in revenue. 2024, my PE firm, $250 million in portfolio revenue. The secret, no distractions for 10 years. No meaningless purchases for 10 years. No clubbing for 10 years. No fantasy football for 10 years. No friends weddings for 10 years. You better start now, because it takes way longer than you think. Just win. And a lot of people saw that and they're like, what? No friends weddings for 10 years? And they're like, this is terrible advice. I can't believe he's saying this. And this is just an explicit example of when people have extraordinary outcomes. They have almost certainly made extraordinary sacrifices and compromises. And I'm not applauding this by any means, but what I'm saying is this is very typical of people, you know, quote, unquote, at the top. People that we look up to and say, man, I wish I could achieve what they achieved. I wish I could have what they have. But the truth is, as I have gotten more successful and I've met people closer to the top or at the top, and I've seen a more full picture of what their lives are like to achieve these things. It often, almost always actually comes at the sacrifice of essentially everything else. There's a great podcast called Founders by David Senra. I got into a season where I was listening to a lot of these. Basically what David Senra does is he reads biographies and autobiographies of some of history's quote unquote, greatest men and women. And he will share a summary of that book, his notes on the book, in like one to two hours. So you can really learn a lot about a person in a short period of time from him. But I kind of stopped listening to these because they all started to sound the same to me. It's like, guy with incredible drive, does everything it takes to win. And it never mentions his family, it never mentions his kids. They're like a footnote in the story. And you just come to realize to get to these levels, it requires a singular focus and it comes at a massive, real human emotional cost. Do I think it's impossible to achieve these things and be a well rounded person who goes to your friend's weddings? No, I don't think it's impossible. I think it's highly unlikely. I think you'd have to have A lot of other good breaks in your favor because at some level, success is a math problem. If I'm willing to spend eight hours a day on my business and you're willing to spend 10, and we are competitors, that's 14 hours per week that you have on me incrementally. And then you multiply that by 52 weeks a year. You multiply that by however many years we are in business opposed to each other. You can see how quickly additional effort compounds, especially if you're applying that effort in a really smart, leveraged way. So it's just a math problem. People who are willing to apply more of their time and resources to a problem than you are going to have an advantage. So it says you need to be really selective about the games that you play so that you're not competing with people who are just win at all cost type people. Or you need to right, size your ambitions a little bit and be okay with the sacrifices and trade offs and compromises you are not willing to make. And the big thing that I want to put out to you in this episode is you need to look at the people you are modeling after the people you're admiring and saying, I want to have a life or a business like this person and try to get a more full picture. You know, are they making sacrifices and compromises and trade offs that you're not willing to make? Do they have the same family values, the same values generally as you do? Because if they don't, it's not a fair comparison to yourself to expect that you okay? You okay? It's not a fair comparison to expect that you are going to have the same success if you're not willing to make the same compromises. Baby girl, you okay? Baby girl's having a happy morning here. Anyway, that's my message to you here this morning. I hope it finds you well. I hope you're having a great weekend and I'll talk to you on Tuesday. Oh, wait. Just kidding. One more thing. If you're on Spotify, leave a comment. Let me know what you think about this. I'd love to hear from you. And if you aren't on Spotify, just tag me at jclaus on whatever platform. Let me know that you listen. Let me know what you think. I always love reading those messages.