Crime and Coffee Couple – The Murder of Josh Hilberling | Ep 225

Podcast: Crime and Coffee Couple
Hosts: Allison and Mike
Episode: The murder of Josh Hilberling | Ep 225
Date: December 28, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the tragic and complicated case of the murder of Josh Hilberling, delving into a volatile marriage marked by mutual abuse, culminating in the fatal fall of Josh from the 25th floor of a Tulsa high-rise. Hosts Allison and Mike balance compassionate storytelling with candid observation, discussing domestic violence from both male and female perspectives, legal outcomes, and the tragedy that affected both families—ultimately leaving a child without parents. The episode is a listener suggestion from Michelle.

Key Discussion Points & Timeline

Banter and Warm-Up [01:33–08:52]

• Discussion about hosts' pet’s recent injury and veterinary drama.
• Classic Mike and Allison playful banter about coffee, snacks, and household quirks.
• Light, humorous exchanges about “Stranger Things,” binge-watching “All Her Fault” with Dakota Fanning, and foot fetishes:
  • “I’m not a foot person by any means.” — Allison [06:57]
• Transition into the episode’s main topic, referencing coffee’s “steamy” darkness as a metaphor for the case.

Introducing the Case [09:01–13:59]

• Listener Michelle suggested the case.
• Prevalence and forms of domestic violence, emphasizing that men are also victims:
  • “Reports indicate that 37% of all domestic abuse victims within the United States are men.” — Allison [10:47]
  • “It hurts you if you do that.” — Mike, on repressing emotions [11:31]
• Personal anecdotes about “flying your freak flag” and keeping it real in long marriages.

Backgrounds of Josh and Amber [13:59–16:36]

• Josh Hilberling: Born May 30, 1988 (Tulsa), ex-football star, Air Force service.
• Amber Fields: Born October 1, 1991 (Missouri), academically strong, moved to Tulsa at 3 months, raised by mother and a well-off stepfather (plastic surgeon).
• Fast-paced romance; marriage expedited due to Air Force housing rules.

Marriage, Isolation, and Escalation [16:36–18:01]

• Marriage and move to Fairbanks, Alaska isolated Amber, her loneliness contributing to a quick deterioration of the relationship.
• Amber becomes pregnant (baby Levi), the couple returns to Tulsa.
• Move into unique high-rise (University Club Tower) owned by Amber’s stepfather while waiting for their house to finish construction.

The Incident: June 7, 2011 [18:01–23:22]

• Neighbor (Nathan McGowan) hears Amber screaming “No, no, no,” followed by crashing glass—originally mistaken for a shattering table or fish tank.
• Josh falls out their 25th-floor window—plummets 17 stories to an 8th-floor parking garage.
• Early speculation: suicide; that quickly shifts as Amber is overheard sobbing she pushed Josh.
• Amber’s Dr. Phil interview claims fight over Josh’s travel plans and suspected pill dealing—later disproven as Josh had no drugs/alcohol in his system [18:24–19:36].
• Timeline leading up to fatal argument: Josh tries to leave, calls his father and friend for a ride.
• Maintenance visit for broken window (from previous argument), window deemed hazardous.

Memorable Moment

• “She just kept coming in and out. She appeared to be very angry every time.” — Armando (repairman), on Amber’s disposition [21:06]

Immediate Aftermath and Amber’s Admission [23:22–27:16]

• Amber rushes to Josh’s body, cradling him, repeatedly telling first responders, “I pushed him.”
• At the police station, Amber’s conversation with her grandmother is recorded:
  • “I pushed him and he fell into the, like, candlestick things and he fell out the window.” — Amber [25:57]
• Her grandmother tries to curb self-incrimination: “Amber, quit saying that you pushed Josh out of the window.” [26:56]
• Context of prior abuse: Josh had sought help from Domestic Violence Intervention Services only a month prior; had filed for a protective order.

The Cycle of Abuse – Conflicting Allegations [27:16–31:58]

• Both families claim their child was the abused party:
  • Amber’s mother refers to Josh as an “abuser and manipulator.”
  • Police had responded multiple times to previous physical altercations, including Amber being subject to assault even while pregnant.
  • On the flip side, Josh’s reports: Amber pushed him down stairs, hit him with a lamp (requiring stitches/staples), punched him.
• “Love shouldn’t hurt.” — Allison [31:46]
  • Both hosts stress the importance of recognizing and leaving abusive relationships.

Arrest, Bail, and Pretrial Behavior [31:58–36:59]

• Amber arrested, charged (initially first-degree, then second-degree murder).
• Released on bond; repeatedly violates terms by letting ankle monitor battery die and diluting urine samples for drug tests; eventually re-jailed, then released again with stricter conditions.

Trial, Testimonies & Competing Narratives [36:59–50:15]

• Trial details:
  • Amber turns down a 5-year plea deal (“I’m not going to admit to guilt when I haven’t done it.”) [37:47]
  • Her police statement (recorded with grandma) omitted any claim of self-defense; at trial, claims Josh grabbed her shoulders, she pushed him to protect herself and unborn child.
  • “If she wasn’t a complete idiot, that would have been a great story to tell.” — Mike [39:19]
  • Evidence discrepancies: House photos show candlesticks undisturbed, no apartment disarray.
• Debate over physical plausibility:
  • “How in the hell did she have enough force to like, push him that hard?” — Mike [40:13]
• Prosecution: Amber knew how weak the windows were after the earlier break, acted in anger.
• Defense: Windows were dangerously subpar (single-strength glass, not to code for a high-rise).
• Window expert: Glass “used for picture frames.” — Allison [42:29]
• Weather and structural factors described: Heat, wind, and pressure likely compromised glass integrity further.

Events Leading to Verdict [50:15–51:36]

• Jury must decide: accident or murder?
• The likely sequence: argument, victim packing to leave, Amber pushes him (possibly running into him), weak window shatters, fatal fall.

Notable Dialogue

• “She probably didn’t want to kill him, but she did.” — Mike, on the tragic accident [51:14]

Verdict and Aftermath [51:36–54:21]

• Amber convicted of second-degree murder, sentenced to 25 years. (Prosecution notes symmetry: 25 years for the 25th floor.)

• Josh’s parents awarded custody of Levi.

• After ~3.5 years in prison, Amber found dead by suicide—meth in her system, but official ruling was suicide by hanging.

• Family social media reactions:

  • “We know how it feels to lose a child. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. … It’s something no parent should ever have to experience.” — Hilberling family [53:10]
  • “I hate what this world did to you. Go rest in the arms of Jesus. The media, the haters, the Hilberlings, they got their wish. … I will never stop fighting for the truth.” — Amber’s mother, Rhonda [52:59]

Reflections on Domestic Violence & Relationship Dynamics [54:21–58:03]

• The hosts reflect on cyclical blame, “victim mindset,” and the toxicity of some relationships:
  • “It’s not passionate, it’s toxic. And there’s a difference there.” — Allison [56:08]
• Critical discussion of “blaming the world” versus personal responsibility.
• Emphasis: Abuse is never justified, regardless of gender.
  • “Please try to find a way out.” — Allison/Mike [41:18, 58:38]

Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Reports indicate that 37% of all domestic abuse victims within the United States are men.” — Allison [10:47]
• “I pushed him and he fell into the, like, candlestick things and he fell out the window.” — Amber (to her grandmother) [25:57]
• “Love shouldn’t hurt.” — Allison [31:46]
• “She probably didn’t want to kill him, but she did.” — Mike [51:14]
• “It’s not passionate, it’s toxic. And there’s a difference there.” — Allison [56:08]

Conclusion and Resources

• Recap: Neither party was innocent; mutual abuse led to an irreparable tragedy; both families and especially their son Levi suffer the consequences.
• Strong advocacy for seeking help with domestic violence:
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788

Tone & Style

The hosts’ trademark blend of quirky banter, compassion, and unflinching honesty remains present throughout, easing into dark content with sensitivity for the victims and their families. Their candid reflections and moments of humor offer levity without diminishing the seriousness of the topic.

For Further Information

• More episodes and case suggestions: crimeandcoffeecouple.com

Note: This summary omits ad reads, intros, outros, and promotional content (timestamps reflect only the main episode content).