SURVIVED: Fallon Farinacci

Summary

Crime Junkie Podcast Episode Summary: SURVIVED: Fallon Farinacci

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Introduction

In this poignant episode of Crime Junkie, host Britt discusses the harrowing true story of Fallon Farinacci, a survivor of a home invasion that resulted in the tragic death of her parents. Released on May 5, 2025, this episode delves deep into the systemic failures that allowed the perpetrator to threaten and ultimately kill Fallon's family, as well as her journey toward advocacy for missing and murdered Indigenous people.

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Background and Cultural Context

Fallon Farinacci begins by sharing her roots and cultural heritage, highlighting the importance of her Metis identity.

Fallon Farinacci [04:37]: "I am Red River Metis. I grew up in rural Manitoba, a tiny, predominantly Metis community just outside of Winnipeg."

Her upbringing in a tight-knit Indigenous community instilled in her a strong sense of identity and pride, which plays a crucial role in her resilience and advocacy efforts.

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The Threat and Initial Police Involvement

In November 1992, Fallon’s family began receiving threats from a community member, Andre Ducharme, who harbored a deep resentment toward her mother.

Fallon Farinacci [05:33]: "In November of 1992, this man who we knew, he was a community member, he threatened my mother's life."

Despite her mother's attempts to seek help by contacting the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), the response was woefully inadequate. Critical information about the stalker's possession of firearms was not communicated to the judge, resulting in his release.

Fallon Farinacci [06:27]: "There was no seizure of weapons, there was no search of his home, anything like that. And he was released."

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Escalation to Violence

The lack of effective intervention led to escalating threats. In January 1993, the situation deteriorated when the stalker breached their home, resulting in the traumatic event where Fallon, then nine years old, witnessed the murder of her father and the eventual death of her mother and younger brother.

Fallon Farinacci [10:27]: "He instructed my brother to go downstairs into our family home and he tied up my brother... And then around 2:30 in the morning, he went upstairs in our family home."

The night was marked by a series of failures, including delayed law enforcement response and inadequate emergency protocols, leaving Fallon and her siblings vulnerable and traumatized.

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Systemic Failures and Human Errors

Throughout the episode, both Britt and Fallon emphasize the multiple layers of systemic failures that compounded the tragedy.

Fallon Farinacci [07:43]: "This was criminal. He had threatened their lives."

Key issues included:

1. Misclassification of the Case: The case was improperly sent to Family Crown Court instead of criminal court, leading to inappropriate mediation attempts.
2. Delayed Police Response: The RCMP officers on duty failed to respond promptly due to procedural oversights and lack of proper training.
3. Lack of SWAT Intervention: Despite the imminent threat, there was no SWAT team dispatched to handle the situation effectively.
4. Questioning Victim's Credibility: Post-incident, Fallon faced skepticism from law enforcement regarding her memories of the event.

Fallon Farinacci [31:19]: "We have this officer questioning what I know... So we have that."

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Aftermath and Grieving Process

The immediate aftermath left Fallon and her siblings grappling with immense grief and trauma. The loss of both parents and later three siblings deeply affected Fallon's mental health.

Fallon Farinacci [35:10]: "I couldn't imagine him just being like, okay, you're on your own now because no one's getting money for you to take care of you."

The episode highlights not only the personal loss but also the broader impact on Fallon’s family dynamics and mental health struggles, culminating in the tragic loss of her brothers Carson and Clinton to suicide.

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Path to Advocacy and Healing

Despite the profound loss, Fallon transformed her trauma into a powerful advocacy movement against the systemic neglect of Indigenous communities.

Fallon Farinacci [41:16]: "So I said yes, and I testified. I shared my story."

Her involvement with the National Inquiry for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls in Canada allowed her to connect with other survivors and amplify the call for systemic change. Fallon's efforts include:

• Testifying at Inquiries: Sharing her personal story to highlight the systemic failures.
• Fundraising and Community Support: Organizing fundraisers that have successfully raised over $109,000 for Indigenous organizations.
• Educational Initiatives: Co-hosting decolonial reading circles to foster community healing and awareness.

Fallon Farinacci [44:17]: "I'm the statistic... I'm the child that, you know, the systems are up against."

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Concluding Insights and Call to Action

Fallon Farinacci underscores the importance of community involvement and continuous support to combat the crisis of missing and murdered Indigenous people.

Fallon Farinacci [54:07]: "Please channel this energy into all the other people... Help them. My justice is being talked about."

She urges listeners to:

1. Attend and Support Gatherings: Participate in walks and events that honor the victims and push for justice.
2. Advocate for Systemic Change: Engage in conversations and actions that hold authorities accountable.
3. Support Indigenous Organizations: Contribute to and volunteer with organizations working to protect and support Indigenous communities.

Fallon Farinacci [55:00]: "Advocate for yourself, and also do not question... Always follow your gut with it."

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Final Thoughts

As the episode concludes, Fallon reflects on her journey from trauma to advocacy, emphasizing the ripple effect of her story on broader societal awareness and change.

Fallon Farinacci [56:01]: "I just want people to understand that... we say it for a reason. They are someone's daughter, they are someone's maybe mother, they're an auntie or sister, cousin, they're a human."

Her story serves as both a cautionary tale of systemic failure and a beacon of hope for transformative activism and healing within Indigenous communities.

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Notable Quotes

• Fallon Farinacci [04:37]: "I am Red River Metis... there wasn't really any kind of difference from my everyday life to culture, traditions, or community."
• Fallon Farinacci [07:43]: "This was criminal. He had threatened their lives."
• Fallon Farinacci [31:19]: "We have this officer questioning what I know..."
• Fallon Farinacci [41:16]: "So I said yes, and I testified. I shared my story."
• Fallon Farinacci [55:00]: "Advocate for yourself, and also do not question... Always follow your gut with it."

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Conclusion

This episode of Crime Junkie not only recounts a deeply personal and tragic story but also sheds light on the broader issues of systemic neglect and the urgent need for justice and support for Indigenous communities. Fallon's resilience and dedication to advocacy inspire listeners to engage actively in creating lasting change.

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Resources and Further Information:

• Support Indigenous Organizations
• National Inquiry for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls
• May 5th Walk for Justice

For more information and to support Fallon’s initiatives, visit crimejunkiepodcast.com.

Transcript

[Ashley Flowers]

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[Britt]

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[Fallon Farinacci]

I am so grateful to be here and to be able to come here to tell my story and share it with all of you.

[Britt]

Yeah. So let's start with a little bit about you. Take us to your background, your childhood. Tell us about your culture.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. So I'm Red River Metis. I grew up in rural Manitoba, a tiny, predominantly Metis community just outside of Winnipeg. And so, for those who don't necessarily know what Metis, a long story short is, I am Indigenous, and so was my father. He grew up really proud to be Indigenous, and so he instilled that in me at a young age. There wasn't really any kind of difference from my everyday life to culture, traditions, or community.

[Britt]

It was just all. It was life.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. It was all a part of it. I always explain to people it happened around the kitchen table.

[Britt]

You know, it sounds like a really beautiful way to grow up. Really, really tight family, really close and happy.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Britt]

But we're here today for a specific reason, and I think now is, like, a really good time to kind of turn into that. Can you take me to everything that that kind of happened?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, absolutely. So In November of 1992, this man who we knew, he was a community member, he threatened my mother's life. Leading up to that, he started crossing boundaries, and boundaries in the sense of, like, just making you feel uncomfortable wasn't usual behavior. There wasn't anything specific. And then this really kind of crossed the last boundary and he called our family home and he, he had asked my mom where his birthday cake was. He had found out that my mother had went to a coworker's birthday party and my mom never made him a cake. So that is really what kind of made her feel uncomfortable to get off the phone right away. And so she said to him, I threw it in the garbage, I have to go, I have the kids. Bingo. And hung up. We had a community bingo. As I said, it was like a really tight knit community. So he called back and he threatened my mom and he said that she wouldn't live to see her next birthday and that he wouldn't live to see his. So she took it really seriously. They called the rcmp, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and they brought him before a judge that evening. And they failed though, to tell the judge that my mother and father had told the RCMP that she was concerned that they had. That he had, sorry, a.22 caliber rifle. So there was no seizure of weapons, there was no search of his home, anything like that. And he was released. And then in December, you know, my mom continued to hear from community members that he was continuing to want to take my mother and my father's lives. And so from there my mom wrote the RCMPL letter. And in that letter she stated that again, she was concerned about this.22 caliber, but also a handgun. The letter was never filed and so it wasn't brought before a judge or anything like that. And now we're in January of 1993 and my family's case landed on the desk of a family Crown attorney, which.

[Britt]

It'S like Family Crown would be like family court here in the States.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes.

[Britt]

So like custody and stuff like that. That's not the situation at all.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Not at all. No. This was criminal. He had threatened their lives. So along this case we heard a lot of like errors, you know, human error. And so this was one of those human errors. But for some reason this Crown picked it up and then felt it was appropriate to have a mediation which again.

[Britt]

Like in family court would make sense. Like you have mediations as like, like a means to an end. But that's again, not the case here.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No, I mean, I wouldn't want to sit with someone.

[Britt]

Absolutely not.

[Fallon Farinacci]

That threatened my life. So it just baffles my mind that she thought that was what should be done.

[Britt]

Yeah. Especially like it comes across your desk, you open it to continue on with it versus like, oof. Passing it off to, like, who it actually belongs to, where it can actually be handled properly. Properly with the court system that should be handling it feels like more than human error.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, absolutely. And from there, there was a temp in this law clerk position, which, again, human error, fine. But she accidentally mailed my mother the stalker's information, and he got my mother's. Oh, yeah. So there were laws that were. I forget, like, the verbiage. There was laws that were in place but weren't enacted at the time to protect women. And like my grandma says, my mom's mom. What good is a restraining order? At the end of the day? It's a piece of paper.

[Britt]

Right. And I know here in the States it's one of those things where you can't even act on it until it's violated.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes.

[Britt]

Right. So, like, it's there until what? Right. Like, it doesn't do any good in a lot of cases.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And I had asked my dad's best friend, Ken Bowden, I had said to him, even from my dad's perspective, was my dad really scared? And he said, yeah, absolutely. He could hear it in his voice that he was scared. And so because of this, my mom had decided she was absolutely not going through this with mediation.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I mean, she was already scared, but this was just catapulting it. And so from there, they didn't show up for the mediation. There was supposed to be a mediation on January 26. So he was released back out into the public again. And he came to our family home on January 27, and he knocked on the door. My older brother was awake. It was just after midnight. Myself, my younger sibling, my parents, we were all sleeping. And when my brother answered the door, he was standing on the other side of the door with the same.22 caliber rifle that they had warned the police about.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And he instructed my brother to go downstairs into our family home and he tied up my brother. And I would say he, like, verbally tortured him. He, you know, talked about killing my parents and how he couldn't live without my mother. And so my brother had to endure that for a number of hours before he finally told my brother that he was going to go upstairs. And he used the words do the deed to go kill my parents. My older brother had to write a suicide note, I guess, in a way, for this man, just instructing him to tell his family, his friends that he was sorry for what he was doing. And then around 2:30 in the morning, he went upstairs in our family home. And that's when my brother heard the gunshot. Before that he had heard my dad yell some things in French because it was a French Metis community. So he had yelled some things. My brother didn't speak French so he didn't know what they were saying to each other. And then he did shoot and kill my father. I'm assuming that that's the sound that woke myself and my younger brother up at that time. And so the way our bedroom was, it's just like a regular bungalow. So I was at the top of the hallway and my parents and my brother's room are side by side. And so when I woke up I immediately tried to go into my parents bedroom because I didn't know what was going on and I was nine at the time. And so I'm trying to push the door open but there's clearly someone on the other side of the door. And so I give up at that point, but I don't know what it was. Something told me that it was an emergency to go call 911. I don't have any recollection of something being said, you know, that made me feel in danger. It just felt like I'm looking at my younger brother, he's standing in the hallway and he's screaming, crying, and I'm thinking, okay, something is wrong.

[Britt]

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[Britt]

How old were you and your brothers when all this happened?

[Fallon Farinacci]

So my older brother Carson was 17 and then my younger brother Clinton at the time was five. Okay, and you were nine And I was nine, yes. And so I went to call for help but I accidentally dialed the wrong number and so then I could see a dark shadow coming running towards me. So I dropped the phone and I run into the basement and hide at this point and eventually my mom, the stalker and my younger brother all come downstairs and that's when my younger brother finds me and he tries to pull me out and I'm like begging him not to. It was terrifying because at the same time he's screaming and yelling because he can't find my brother. But he had escaped at 2:30 when the gunshot went off. He thankfully was able to get out of the basement window and he ran to my parents best friend's home and my best my childhood best friend's parents home and they called 911 at well a seven digit number. Forgive me at the time and the rural community was not 911 times and so they called for help and they stated you know he is entered our home and my brother said you know we're in my parents are in court with him right now and he has a gun. They heard a gunshot go off and that us kids were being held in the hall or that not that we're being held but you guys are still there in the house. Yes. And so the way the chain of command goes that 911 dispatcher would let the officers know who were on duty at the nearby police station. So that's about 45 minutes from my community. But that police station closes at 2am.

[Britt]

And this is happening after 2:30.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. So they would call the constable on duty and let him know, and then he would then give, you know, further instructions. So they did. They called him and he said, go out to the Paul residence and see if you can get him to come out and talk to him.

[Britt]

As if he's a rational person right now.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, absolutely. As if none of the other information had been said at all or was important. Yes. He was also the only trained hostage negotiator for this RCMP station.

[Britt]

So, like the person who should have been going out and talking to this clearly irrational person.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes.

[Britt]

Holding hostages.

[Fallon Farinacci]

He could have called for swat, anything, backup, but he didn't. And instead of, you know, just hanging up the phone and maybe getting up himself, because he'd know he'd have to come here eventually, keeping an eye on.

[Britt]

The situation he's responsible for.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, he accidentally fell back asleep.

[Britt]

I can't imagine having that position and doing that, like having such disregard for the situation.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. And also one thing I didn't tell you was that the stalker had 13 prior convictions and the RCMP station, the same one, fought bail for this man in 1990, saying he should not be released, that he was a danger to the community. Okay. Yes. So by time, he's in the basement with us kids and my mom. And at this time, he's losing his mind. So he's upset. He looks at my mom and he tells my mom she's going to have to pick whether it's myself or my younger brother brother that dies next if we can't find my older brother who.

[Britt]

Isn'T in the house at all anymore.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Not at all. And my mom doesn't know. And so we looked in all and all of the places. I mean, it was a tiny little basement and it was all open and a rec room. And so eventually my mom wanted to separate him from us because he threatens our life. And she gave me a hug. We were sitting on the stairs and she hugged me and said, I'm going to go upstairs with him. You stay down here and call for help. So they went upstairs and we stayed downstairs and I went to pick up the phone and it wasn't even up on the telephone, like this little stand that she had, it was on the floor. It had been ripped out of the wall, the cord. And I Don't know. I mean, obviously I can have regrets now, but that is one thing that sticks out in my mind is I wish I had just plugged it back in because it wasn't like rip broken. It was just I thought I would get electrocuted if I plugged it in.

[Britt]

You were a kid.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I know. And I do try to give myself that grace when I think back. So we stayed in the basement and eventually we fall asleep. So my mom's upstairs for two hours with this man. And so at 5:30, there's two officers.

[Britt]

Outside of our home just like, hey, come out.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. So they, they do make contact with my mom. It must have been right after she went upstairs. They call the house and my mom answers and she answers one sided questions. Are you okay? Are you hurt? A lot of the answers she gives though are maybe, I don't know because.

[Britt]

She'S just, she's trying to protect herself.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, but he doesn't stop her from being on the phone. That's like the whole part I never really understood. I think it's just, I think of he had been drinking and he was doing drugs before coming to our house. From what witnesses had seen him before earlier in the day he went and he drank a bottle of sherry. Yeah, it's just one of those things that I guess repulse maybe is the word for me, you know, like with my mom's name being Sherry. Yeah. So I just think he probably continued down that before coming to our home. And so at the end of the call she says, you know, can I, can you call me back in the morning? I have to go. And so then at that point they let her know help is on the way. But there was no real help coming at all. At 5:30, the two officers are instructed to go get my brother and then they bring him to this command post that they're finally setting up in a community next to ours, not even in our community.

[Britt]

And this is a small community. Like I grew up in a small town. Like there's usually not a lot around small communities. Like you're kind of just a little dot on the map.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Britt]

So this isn't close by. No, not as close as it could be, at least.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No, exactly. It could have been just at our town hall, but instead it's like eight to ten minutes down the road. And I mean at this point we're three hours into it. Well, more technically from the time that he entered our home. And so my brother has to go there and he, he watches them. No sense of Urgency. Use a ruler to try to draw out a map of our house. Meanwhile, there's still no SWAT at our home. And I'm sleeping. My younger brother and I fall asleep at 5:30. I must hear a noise. I'm going to guess it was a gunshot that woke me up because my mom was shot in the arm. I don't know that it's her arm because when I finally get upstairs I try to go into now my bedroom and I can hear my mom on the other side of the door. And she said, why do you have to shoot me? You already shot me in the arm. And I'm thinking she thought, I'm just genuinely realizing this right now. I'm thinking she thought it was maybe a police officer on the other side of the door.

[Britt]

And so she's like, she's saying all this to like inform whoever's on the other side.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Why would she say that otherwise? Sorry, I just realized that. So yeah, and so I get scared by hearing that and I run into my parents room and the whole time my little brother stays with me. And I get up on the bed and I go to call for help. I call the emergency number again and I ask them for three ambulance because I don't know where my brother is.

[Britt]

Right, you still haven't found him?

[Chuck]

No.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And then I call another time a 911 dispatcher hangs up on me. We don't know why, but they hang up on me. And I realize I look over and I see my dad. And when I tell you it was like, oh my gosh, he's going to help us. Like why isn't he helping us? So I tried to wake him up but I didn't know at the time he was dead already. At that time my younger brother came around the side of the bed and he saw my dad. I didn't but I could tell by his reaction that something was wrong. So I just left my dad. It's almost like I just moved away from him. And I didn't touch him again after that. I just left him alone. And it's at just after 6:00, between 6 and 6:30 that my mom tries to leave my bedroom. And she shot one more time. She shot in the shoulder. But because of the type of weapon it is, the bullet spirals. And so it severed her spinal cord and she died right in front of myself. And my younger brother, he stayed in my bedroom. And then I heard a noise and I had, I mean it's classic 90s. I had a wicker shelf I thought he knocked it over. And I remember getting so mad in my head, like he knocked over my shelf. He's breaking my stuff. And it wasn't, it was the sound of the gun. He turned it on himself and he committed suicide on my childhood bedroom floor. And we don't know that. So we stay in my parents room and eventually my mom's alarm goes off at seven because she would have been getting us ready for school.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And I take the phone off the hook at that point cause it's like an alarm and phone all in one. And I'm worried that he's gonna come into the room eventually. My younger brother and I move onto the floor and we're on the opposite side of the bed. So we're trying to hide there so that if he does get up he can't see us. And so we continue to wait and wait. And it's not until after 7am that the SWAT team shows up outside. And there's a big gap. Obviously, when we're waiting for help after my parents die, where we're sitting and waiting, I never share it because it feels so dehumanizing. So I had to go to the bathroom and I had broken my arm. Rural winter wonderland of Manitoba. And I had to have a bag over my arm because I was like we didn't have those pump things that they put over. And so the option was to cross my mom's body and risk him seeing us because I thought he was alive still. Or I had to use the garbage bag and like lay it out and then go to the bathroom. And so I always thought like when they came in after I was mortified, mortified of these police officers coming in. And it just like it seemed so. I don't know, it just seemed like we're already in this position and now I had to do this.

[Britt]

Yeah. When did someone finally come in?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Not until 8:30 in the morning.

[Britt]

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[Chuck]

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[Britt]

The stalker got to your house after midnight. Your brother escaped after 2:30. And no, no law enforcement came into the house until after 8:30 that morning.

[Fallon Farinacci]

8:30. And when they came in, they, they just yelled out, this one's gone, this one's gone. Well, first they, you know, the usual rcmp, whatever they might say, like weapons down here. Yeah. And then I can just hear them, one officer yell out, this one's gone, this one's gone. And then this one's gone. And then next thing you know, there was two paramedics who were community members, they were my friend's fathers. They came in, they threw two blankets over us and picked us up and carried us out. And when they were carrying us out to the ambulance, I could hear a man speak and I thought it was my brother. I remember shifting a little my weight like, oh my gosh, Carson's here. He's okay, you know, because at this point I have no idea where he is.

[Britt]

You haven't seen him since you went to bed the night before?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. Yeah. And so we were put in the ambulance and then they had asked the ambulance to be sent to the Misericordia hospital so that we could go see my mom's co workers and everyone there and that they could take over and look at us there just to make sure that we weren't hurt and nothing was done to us. And it was there that they corralled us into A room and told us at that point that my parents had, in fact, died. Wow. And then later that night, the RCMP came and I gave my statement. And it was actually. I only realized this probably in the last couple years. You know how authority figures can do a great job at making us question ourselves. I gave my statement and I told the RCMP officer. And this is when my mom said, why do you have to shoot me? You already shot me in the eye. He said, your mother wasn't shot in the eye. And I said, well, she said, why do you have to shoot me? You shot me in the eye. And he said, she never said that. So I don't know why you're saying she said that. Yeah. Like, he looked at me like. I remember thinking, like, that genuinely is probably a moment where I, like, began questioning my own thoughts, my own memory.

[Britt]

Yeah. I was gonna say if some, like, if I was in that situation now as an adult, I'd be like, wait, maybe I would even question myself. And you were nine.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's, like, often, you know, where does imposter syndrome come from? Right, right. And I think that that's probably a moment that was the beginning.

[Britt]

It was really formative.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Britt]

And what stands out to me in all of this is you talked earlier about, like, human error. This wasn't one human error two months before this happened. This wasn't one human error the night that it happened. This was error upon error upon misstep. Upon misstep the entire way through.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. We have this officer questioning what I know.

[Britt]

I heard as a child.

[Fallon Farinacci]

As a child, like, yes, she said arm, but I'm listening to her behind a door.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So we have that. We go back to the initial. Those two officers taking my mother's statement, failing to tell the judge about the rifle that she's concerned about. How about we go back to even 1990 where they let him out and they say that he's.

[Britt]

He's no threat to society.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, yeah. And then from there, we have the letter that was never filed. The law clerk who accidentally.

[Britt]

The case being sent to family court. Not criminal court.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Exactly. And it proceeding to go to the.

[Britt]

Media in family court.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, absolutely. And then not even, like, the inquiry process where I, you know, I didn't tell you how the judge blamed the townspeople, saying that they should have done more to protect our family, which.

[Britt]

I'm sorry, I thought that's what law enforcement was for. Like, these are the very people put in place.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, right.

[Britt]

Like, by the government to Protect you.

[Fallon Farinacci]

To protect you. Quite literally their job.

[Britt]

Yeah, That's. That's kind of their whole thing.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And then we have officers who, you know, didn't actually enter our home. SWAT never came in, didn't get out to our community. The officer who fell asleep, like, they're all taking the stand. One officer says that my mom, by telling him she threw the cake in the garbage, that started it. That was a reaction. Yeah. She. She gave him.

[Britt]

She was the instigator.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Britt]

Not the man stalking her.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No.

[Britt]

Not his problem.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Absolutely.

[Britt]

Her response to that was the problem.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Britt]

So what was next for you and your siblings? What was the future like for you guys?

[Fallon Farinacci]

So a few days after, honestly, I don't even know how long after they passed, we had the funeral in our community. And I just think of how full the church was. It was filled with, you know, the firemen, the community members, people from my mom's work. And I just remember sitting there and I was still, you know, I was in shock. Like, it's out of body kind of experience of like looking around and thinking, like, oh, everyone's here. But it still didn't really grasp the idea of, like, what I had, like, completely lost in, like, this new normal. But it was hard because we had to move within a month's time. And I mean, this was a community that I had known my whole life and small, insular.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And, yeah, it was just so difficult. I didn't want to leave. And when we first moved there, we had to live with my aunt. But Carson turned 18 within a month of moving out there. So within two months of my parents passing away, he had turned 18. So he like, quote, aged out, right?

[Britt]

He becomes an adult.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. Which is also just sad for him. Like, I have a 19 year old. I couldn't imagine him just being like, okay, you're on your own now because no one's getting money for you to take care of you. So.

[Britt]

Especially what he went through.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Britt]

And being responsible for trying to save his family.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. Yeah. And so my brother, my younger brother and I stayed at my aunt's house, but we only lived there. I only lived there for a year. It was just made me feel so uncomfortable. And my grandma listened and she had suggested that I move in with her. So I lived there with my grandma for a little bit. My grandma sent me home to Manitoba every summer. So I got to go back there, but it's not. I didn't want to live with my grandma. I just didn't want to live in Ontario. So my aunt said to me, if you want, you can go live in Manitoba. And I said, no. Nanny would never let me. She said, no, I'm your guardian. If I say you can, you can.

[Britt]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So she got me on a plane and I went back to Manitoba. I lived with one of my family members there for a little bit, and then eventually I moved in with Ken and Debbie Bowdoin, my parents. Best friends. My best friend's parents. I mean, it was a dream come true. I now get to call my best friend my sister. Like, that was the best in the world. Yeah. I think it was a blessing, though, that I did get to go home as much as I did, because I know a lot of folks who endure things, it's hard for them to go back to where, you know, the crime happened or the traumatic event. I think a lot of people think, oh, you all went through the same thing. We all went through different things. And everyone processed things differently as well. Right. So along the way, my older brother, he took his own life because of the lack of mental health support. That's ultimately what I would say. It was really, at the end of the day. So he took his own life, and losing him was harder than going through what I went through with my parents, just because it was. Yeah. So he was my everything. I looked up to him so much. So it was really hard losing him. Then my younger brother, I noticed in 2023, his mental health was on a decline. And I mean, let's be honest, men don't talk about their mental health. I mean, we don't. Right. But men especially don't talk about their mental health the way that they should be. And it's shameful for them.

[Britt]

There's even more of a stigma.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So much. Yeah. Around it, you know, when someone's not doing well. And I think that's what hits me so hard with this, is that In November of 2023, my younger brother took his life as well. And, you know, when they talk about denial, I didn't feel that with my parents, and I didn't feel that with my. I mean, I felt it with my older brother, where it's like, oh, I thought I saw him. You know, I saw a car driving by, and I thought he was in it. This. I immediately said, no, no, let's go. We have to go check him.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Like. And that was really, really difficult. And with my brother's death, one thing that had prepared me, my older brother's death, for my younger brother's death was that I had this epiphany moment with my older brother. I was driving down the street, someone was walking down the street, and I thought, oh, life goes on. Life goes on. And so when my younger brother died, I think I was quick to want to, like, jump through this grieving process.

[Britt]

To, like, make life go on.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And it. It doesn't obviously work that way. And following my. My brother's death, everyone, I feel like, was on high alert for me, like, wondering how I was doing mentally. And it took time. I think I was just in, like, the depths of grief for so long, and then now I'm here and, like, why, you know, so constantly having to. To go through that and wonder why.

[Britt]

As in, like, why am I still here? Why me?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Or a little bit of that. What's the purpose? Do I need to do something? Is there, you know, is there. Is there something bigger? And I think that's why I have that fear also of, like, when is. When is the. Is the saying the shoe gonna drop for me? You know, so.

[Britt]

So what do you do for your own mental health? We've talked a little bit about mental health and how important it is having lived through this trauma. Like, what do you do for you?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, well, for the longest time, I didn't want to talk about it. Right. I think we all had this notion growing up, like, oh, if there's something wrong with me or some way, I feel everyone's going to think I'm, quote, crazy. Right. Broken. My gosh, I'm lucky. I'm really. I have the most amazing husband and my kids, so, like, they help me. And then obviously, yes, therapy is. Is great as well, but I found it in other ways, like in community. It was. I started going to the Friendship center for Drumming, and it was like, oh, these are the things. Because I noticed and I have people ask me actually quite often, you know, like, what are things that you do? Like, I think they're hoping to find an answer for themselves to help their own mental health journey. And I just say, like, remember the things that make you feel good when you're in a good headspace, what are the things you're doing at that point? And then it was in 2017, my. One of my cousins, she was working for the Ontario Federation for Friendship Centers. And so she said, you know, your parents names were named in some research done. There's grassroots organizations that had been fighting for years, like, years and years asking for answers as to why is there such a high number of missing and murdered indigenous people across the country. She Was like, would you consider testifying? And she had nothing to do with the inquiry process, but if that's one more story that can hold the government accountable for sure, then yes, of course.

[Britt]

Yeah, Definitely. Add your voice.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. So I said yes, and I testified. I shared my story. And just the way that, for people that don't know, is the national inquiry for missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in Canada. In Canada, yes. Yeah. And a lot of people think that it was the government. Yes. While it was the funding from the government, it wasn't the government that called for this inquiry.

[Britt]

Right. They weren't the ones saying, like, hey, let's look into this. It sounds like a good idea to do that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No, of course. Why would they want to look into the systems that they put into place.

[Britt]

That are failing people over and over and over again?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, absolutely. So it was grassroots organizations, and it was really through that process that I met other family members, and I kind of, like, set like a light bulb off, like, oh, my gosh, this isn't just the cards that I was dealt. These cards have been dealt to so many other indigenous people, communities. And I thought along this way, as I met some people that had so many similar stories to me, I was like, okay, I need to be involved in this somehow. And so then it was 2019. I got this call from the commissioner if I would join the National Family Advisory Circle. And then it was there that I met other family members, survivors, and hearing their stories, and it was just. It shook me to my core. And I thought, okay, more needs to be done and more needs to be said, and these people need to be heard. Stories need to be heard. And so I continued on on the National Inquiries Committee with the family members. And then we came to a closing where, you know, we gathered and we handed over the final report, all the research, the findings that had been brought together from these.

[Britt]

The evidence.

[Fallon Farinacci]

The evidence, Exactly. And we presented it to the nation, and it was there that I had that imposter syndrome, kind of disappeared because I had seen it as for so long, like this. I'm telling you the story. This is what happened to my family. Yes, it happened to me, but I'm sure it's a trauma response. You can take yourself out of it so easily. And I just kind of chalked it up to, this is the way. This is the cards that were dealt. And it was there that I grabbed my husband's leg and I whispered to him, I said, I get it. And he said, you get what? I said, I'm the girl and he just like looked at me and I was like. And I just was overcome with emotion because I was, I think that was kind of the first time I realized, like, I'm the girl, that I shouldn't be here statistically.

[Britt]

Right? You're the statistic.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I'm the statistic? Yeah. I'm the child that, you know, the systems are up against.

[Chuck]

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[Britt]

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[Fallon Farinacci]

And so it was a few months later, a friend of mine, a dear friend, Dr. Robyn Bourgeois, and she had decided to start the decolonial reading circle at Rock University. And she had she's fierce and she's survivor herself, but she had wanted to take action and I just admired that so much about her. And so I joined the National. I remember Emailing like, can I join this. This decolonial reading circle? And so we, you know, became friends and eventually had the honor of co hosting with her and following her lead for this decolonial reading circle. But it was really. I feel that. And again, I'm realizing this for the first time. I think that was kind of that moment where I thought, okay, like, I can do something. There's something I can do, too. And again, it was Robin who introduced me to this incredible organization. It's Abby Host. It's a transitional home for indigenous women in St. Catharines. And I thought, okay, this is an organization I also want to get behind. And so it was that year I was turning 38 years old, and my dad was 37 when he passed, and my mom was. She was just shy of turning 37. My dad was shy of turning 38. And I wanted to start this fundraiser because I'd be the first person in my family to turn the age of 38. And I wanted this fundraiser to honor all of them. And, yes, it was a crutch, absolutely, to pull me through the pain of survivor's guilt of turning 38. But I'm so, you know, those. I really realized how much the decolonial reading circle really showed me. Okay, you can do something yourself as well. And I thought, okay, well, I'm going to do this fundraiser for Abbey House and also for my home community. So I thought, okay, we can raise $3,800 for both of these organizations. And then I almost didn't press enter because it dawned on me. Well, no one listened.

[Britt]

No one cared back then, and so why would they now?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, it was probably one of the lowest moments in my life. In literally a moment, like, you can just be so blindsided by something, a thought come in and think like, no, you're not doing this.

[Britt]

And just roots itself there. And especially, I have to imagine not just feeling unheard, but having documented proof that for hour upon hour, no one listened.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Britt]

What made you click? Yes. Like, what made you go for it? I don't know.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Something came over me. We'll just say it was my ancestors. How about that?

[Britt]

Your eyes. And press Enter.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, I press enter. And, boy, am I ever happy. I did. Because within 24 hours, we raised $10,000.

[Britt]

Oh, my God.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And I feel like, I think to date, we're at like, $109,000.

[Britt]

That's amazing.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. Not including from there. Then I thought, okay, what else can I do, you know? So I've held. I hold a yearly fundraiser for For Abbey House, specifically in the area in the region. And it's just been something that has, I think, also given me that. The proof that people want to help, that you can do something also on your own. It doesn't have to be, like, something big. And so from there, you know, I just thought, okay, well, now what? Right? Like, it's always that, now what can I do?

[Britt]

I feel like that's such a sign that this is what you were meant to do.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I love that you said that, because you don't even know this, but my spirit name that I have that was gifted to me by an elder is White Thunder Woman. And he said that I'm here to make a lot of noise. And so that's just so special that you said that, because, yeah, you were.

[Britt]

Making noise before you were even trying to.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Really? Yeah. Yeah. And that was. That was it. Then I was like, I want to start a walk. We didn't have a walk for May 5th. We had one. We had gatherings for February 14th, and then we also honor in October as well, our Sisters in Spirit Day. So I thought, okay, well, let's have something May 5th to bring people together. And so we started a walk, and, you know, we're hosting it again this year. And, yeah, it's just. It's really special. And so often we think, like, okay, what can we do? And, you know, it's hard because sometimes, yeah, I do. I want to throw my hands up in the air.

[Britt]

It's overwhelming, the change that needs to happen in so many different sectors, but especially this one.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes.

[Britt]

So that kind of leaves me with, like, a huge question for you. Where do you need us? What can we do?

[Fallon Farinacci]

I will say this. And I've said this quite often since I heard this elder say this. Now that you've heard my story, what will you do with it now? Have the conversations with. Not without. And bring change for. With indigenous people. Right. Because I think a lot of times those conversations are happening not outside of. Yes, yeah, absolutely. And come out to gatherings. I always, always say, come to, like, the May 5th walk, for instance. Find out where there are gatherings happening, where there is action taking place, because that's where you're going to find out and getting involved. And it's not like that one off that one time. You're gonna stand and you're gonna march with us.

[Britt]

It's the ongoing support.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, absolutely. That is where it helps. And, like, I think a lot of people think, oh, I wouldn't be welcome. No, you would be welcome, because we know that the change for me anyway, it has to happen together. There is power in numbers. And that is where it will actually propel forward is if we're doing the work together, even making yourself aware of it. Okay. For instance, I testified for the inquiry like I was a part of the National Family Advisory Circle. And now I have the honor of being part of a committee for missing and murdered Indigenous Metis, specifically people. And I just found out that since those like initial reports of research that were brought in for the inquiry. So let's say I don't know the exact year, but let's say 2017.

[Britt]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

5,000. That it's an estimated that there have been 5,000 missing and murdered indigenous women and girls, two spirited people in Canada since then. Since then. And I don't even know if it is 2017. I'm being gracious in saying 2017 or perhaps it was 2015 when like their first data was like, ended before the inquiry. But let's just say in and around 5,000 and when I. I kid you not, I couldn't even hide my face. My jaw dropped and I feel as though I'm quite involved.

[Britt]

Well, and I think I hear that statistic and I'm unfortunately, I'm sure it's like this in Canada as well. In the US that statistic is skewed because that's reported cases.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, exactly. And that's not the ones for our case as well.

[Britt]

That's not the ones that aren't being reported or aren't being classified correctly or are being downplayed. So they don't fit that statistic. So the number is likely so much greater.

[Fallon Farinacci]

That's why it's important. Come out to the events, do the work with not for, but with communities. I'm one story.

[Britt]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Please channel this energy into all the other people or the people who are searching for missing family members right now have no answers or are being met with roadblocks from the justice system. Help them. My justice is being talked about. And for other people to bring action for other people who are missing or are currently going through the court system for their murdered loved one.

[Britt]

So we talked a little bit about how your mom was very aware that her life was in danger, that at least her life was in danger, if not her family's. If there's a listener out there right now who, who is in that place in their mind, they feel threatened. They feel like their life is in danger. What. What can they do to make their voice heard and protect themselves?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. Well, first, if they haven't, if they have shared and they feel like they're not moving forward with the justice system. Specifically, like my mother's case. Tell your friends, your family, advocate for yourself, and also do not question, like, no matter what, always follow your gut with it. Because our instincts, we have them for a reason. We also, as women, are made to believe that, oh, we're making it up, we're making a big deal out of it. Oh, it's nothing. But I think a lot of people might also keep it to themselves in fear of, oh, am I making this a big deal? I don't want to burden anyone. No, any of your loved ones will not feel burdened with these fears or concerns that you're having.

[Britt]

Fallon, I cannot thank you enough for being here and being willing to tell us in the Crime Junkies, your story, such an important one. Is there anything else you'd like to add at the tail end of this?

[Fallon Farinacci]

I think for me, I just want people to understand that, yes, my story happened in the 90s, but I hope that they can also see the ripple effect of what this has on obviously my brother's lives, my life, like not to, to take myself out of it as well. But then how it affects these communities and that you might see an indigenous woman that is missing. But like we say it for a reason. They are someone's daughter, they are someone's maybe mother, they're an auntie or sister, cousin, they're a human. As much as you are giving ears to my story, listen to theirs as well and remember that they are a part of a community. I will be the first to say it. I am privileged and people will listen to me quite often. I'm white passing. And so I think for me, I want to acknowledge that because then I also want people to shift and think, would they have maybe listened as intently if I looked different if you weren't you? Yeah.

[Britt]

Yeah. And you mentioned a goatfundme.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes.

[Britt]

We'll make sure to link that in the show notes as well as resources for the US and Canada. So listeners be sure to check that out. And again, thank you so much for being here.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I honestly, I just want to thank you because without platforms like this to share our stories, we do feel alone. So I appreciate it very much.

[Britt]

You are definitely not alone. You can find all the source material for this episode on our website, crimejunkiepodcast.com and you can follow us on Instagram crimejunkiepodcast. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode.

[Ashley Flowers]

Crime Junkie is an audio Chuck production So what do you think Chuck? Do you approve?

[Chuck]

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[Fallon Farinacci]

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