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- [00:01]
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- [00:29]
Hope Houdin
So.
- [00:29]
Motley Fool Narrator
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- [00:54]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Hey there, I'm Ashley with Crime Salad, and in this special episode we're joined by Hope Houdin. If you aren't yet familiar with Hope, we shared her story in our previous episode titled Fighting Against Filicide. Now, before we begin, I want to give a gentle, important warning. In this conversation, we'll be discussing sensitive topics, including suicide and the devastating loss of children's lives. Please take care of yourself while listening and step away if you need to. Your mental health always comes first. Filicide is the deliberate act of a parent killing their own child. As we speak with Hope, realize that she has been forced to walk in the aftermath of unimaginable tragedy, the loss of her two children. And I'll admit it, before learning your story, I wasn't very familiar with the term filicide. I mean, we've covered similar cases on our podcast, but it struck me how rarely the word itself is used or how little this subject is openly discussed.
- [02:05]
Hope Houdin
Well, that's why we're bringing awareness to it, right? You don't know what it is until it happens to you. And that was the case with me, and that was the case with my family and my friends. They had no idea. And then I talked to Brandi Maury Powles, and she found out what filicide was through one of my TikTok videos. So she had no idea when it first happened to her with Rowan, even what it was. So we're trying to spread awareness and make sure that people use the actual term because I think in our culture, we know what murder suicide is, and we know what suicide is, but they don't use the word filicide in the media. They use murder suicide. So we're trying to change that vocabulary so that it's more pronounced to the community, so that they understand what it is. So.
- [02:53]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Exactly. And it's so important, too, because if I don't know about it, and if Brandy didn't know about it, like so many other people don't know about it, and it's just bringing awareness to filicide. Because if we don't know about it, then how can we prevent it? Now, I know you have so much on your plate, and, you know, it's been 16 months since. Since your children have passed, and I can't even begin to even take in how you feel like. But. But what you also have is just this powerful force behind everything, like a light that your children just shine through, and it just glows, and you're just pushing forward to keep moving forward and to change a lot. And can you tell me about that? Like, how is it, like, every day for you?
- [03:44]
Hope Houdin
My faith is super strong, and so that's what keeps me going. The Holy Spirit within me keeps me going. I have, you know, those hard days where I have to take a break and not really do anything, but most of the time, I move forward and I do what I do to help other children and to honor Alec and Lydia and to make sure that their memory and their light never goes away. And that's why I'm doing what I'm doing. And hopefully the awareness that I'm spreading will far outlive me after I'm gone.
- [04:21]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
I feel like there's a lot of parents out there and a lot of moms who may be in a situation that you were in before your children, you know, passed. What would you tell them if they're listening right now? What would you say to them if they were in a desperate need of help? Like, where would they begin?
- [04:41]
Hope Houdin
Yeah, I would say if you're in an abusive marriage, controlling marriage, and you've tried every avenue, so you've tried therapy, you've tried to work it out with that spouse, but the abuse cycle continues, and it doesn't seem to get better. I would definitely make a plan to leave. Number one is tell someone. Tell a trusted friend or a family member, somebody that's not going to judge you, but is going to see what the help is that you may need. And then step number two is contact a victim's advocate. You can find victims advocates at your local police department and sheriff's departments. You can google them. So all you have to do is put in your state, your city, and then put victims advocate and your police department or sheriff's department will come up and then there should be a victims advocate listed. If there is not, then I would call the non emergency line at your local police department and ask if they have a victim's advocate. If they do not, then they would give you resources of a victim's advocate in the community. And then the next one would be make sure that you have a to go bag. Make sure you have stuff that's packed already for, you know, yourself and your children. Make sure that you have money stashed away in an account or in cash that your partner doesn't know about. And it's not about catching your partner off guard. It's about keeping yourself and your children, if you have children, safe. Because the most dangerous part is leaving an abusive marriage or relationship. And that's, that's scientifically proven. It's because the abuser loses control over what they had control over and they don't have that control anymore. And so their world starts to unravel. And so then they go to lengths to keep you. And those lengths might involve violence. So that's why you need to have all of those things and all of those people in your corner to help you get out of that situation.
- [06:51]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
And there are the red flags that you noticed that you were like, I need to get out of this relationship for my children. Like, I need to get out of here for their safety, for my safety. And I don't want to open up like any wounds or anything. But there's some of the cases that we've covered where a lot of people don't realize that they're warning signs that they're red flags. We've had people message us like, thank you so much for covering this domestic abuse case. I actually didn't know that I was in a domestic abuse relationship at all.
- [07:25]
Hope Houdin
Until they hear you, until they hear that story. And that's how I felt. I had to find real life examples, not just like googling, like domestic violence and seeing like the, like. This is physical abuse, this is mental abuse and social abuse. This is emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse. Not just the basic definitions, but I had to find, I had to dig on YouTube and I watched videos of domestic violence survivors, people that have gotten out of marriages and relationships and shared actual examples from their relationships. And through that I was able to then finally realize okay, this is what I'm in. They use the same example that I'm going through right now. So this means that I am in, you know, this controlling, manipulative, abusive relationship and I need to remove myself safely. And so that was kind of the turning point where I was like, okay, it was kind of validation to myself because, like, internally I knew that something wasn't right. But your abuser often gaslights you and they make you feel like you're the one that's crazy, and they make you feel like you're second. You know, you're second guessing your reality because they're gaslighting you so much. You don't know. You know, without those real life examples, what is, you know, in your head and what is actual real reality? So that helped me.
- [08:57]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
You did everything right. And it's so enraging because what really happened was like, the courts flopped on their part and oh my gosh, it just makes me so mad. Like, how, like, how does that even happen?
- [09:13]
Hope Houdin
And I'm not the, I'm not the only one. There are, you know, judges that are negligent and, know, corrupt in, in our family court system because that's the way that the judges made it. The judges came up with judicial immunity to protect themselves. They're the ones that put that law into place. So I don't feel like the community understands. Like, when I read my statement out loud on social media last week, everybody was like, oh, you should go after the judge and sue the court. You cannot. Judges and courts have judicial immunity. You cannot sue them because they are 100% immune from every decision that they make. And, you know, that's not okay. So we are trying to remove that specifically. I know other states are, but in Arizona, I'm trying. We're trying to move forward with a way that, you know, we can abolish judicial immunity because it's not okay. There is no other job in our country that you can do stuff that these judges are doing and then face no consequences from it because it was their decision. That's not how the, the world works. So.
- [10:24]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
And it's almost as if it was used to protect them. Because I remember statement, he said, we're protecting you. What are we protecting you from? He sealed the court record. So.
- [10:37]
Hope Houdin
Correct. Yes. They. They tried to make it seem like they were protecting me. They made it seem like they were protecting me from the media at first, but now I know that they were protecting themselves because they knew that the media was going to come after and look at every document because Usually family court cases are public, so you can go and see everything in the family court case. And they knew that the. The media was going to go after that. The media had already gone after that the same day that Alec, Lydia, and Brock died. And it got out to the media, they were already looking in that family court file. That's why the next day he sealed everything, because he didn't want them to dig any further. Hmm.
- [11:22]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
And why is that? They had to have pulled the wrong strings.
- [11:26]
Hope Houdin
Oh, yeah, they were. They were totally negligent. For someone to have all of the evidence and actual proof, not just like I'm saying, that he was abusive, but actual proof and documentation from a protection order, from psychiatric notes from the facility that he was at for nine days. We had police reports, and the judge never looked at any of that. There was no evidentiary hearing to look at any of that information. And so that's what I'm trying to change in Arizona is that if there is even an inkling of domestic violence or mental illness in your family court case and you can prove it by actual evidence, the judge has to stop immediately and look at every single piece of evidence before they place a child with that parent or before they come up with any custody agreement, they have to look at every piece of evidence. And that might take some time because police reports and such aren't instantaneous. It takes time. So they might have to wait a few weeks to be able to get the psychiatric notes, the police reports, the dispatch notes, the. Anything they might need to prove, you know, that these children might be in danger. And yes, that might take some time to do that, but that time is going to save that child's life. You know, so the time that they're taking to look at everything instead of rushing through the system is going to save children.
- [13:02]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Yeah. Instead of just assuming or just like saying, well, this is just another custody case, they should take it a case by case basis, look at every situation. And, like, I feel like there should be a whole team involved, really professionals in that field that can say, hey, this doesn't look right to me. You know, there just needs to be more and more done. Are there any changes in Arizona that you're seeing? Like, are you seeing, like, the judges taking a step back and being like, okay, maybe I should look at everything? Or have you heard of any cases recently that are like, oh, my gosh, here we go again. Another thing, another pattern.
- [13:39]
Hope Houdin
So I've heard. I. I've had family members reach out to me and say, you know, we are not 100% sure, but because of what happened to Alec and Lydia, we believe that our judge has stepped back from our case and has reviewed it again. And now I have full custody of my children. And it's because we believe of what happened to you and Alec and Lydia, that's the catalyst why. And so that's. That's huge. And they can't prove that. Right. There's, you know, the judge didn't say, oh, I'm doing this because of what happened. But judges talk and they watched the news. They know what happened. And so I believe that some judges did take a step back and relook at some of those cases and, and change their decisions. And that's what I want. Right. I want the safety of all children to be saved. And the whole system in Arizona and in every single state needs to be changed, and it needs to be safety first before all else. You know, yes, parental rights are important, and it's important to make sure that parents have the opportunity to get rights over their children if they are able to and stable enough. But the safety of the child is the number one reason why I'm doing this. And so, yeah, working with representatives Shull and Fink, and we are working on the Alec and Lydia Act. And just like I said, the number one point on that bill is child safety first. And then it goes into, you know, information on if there is any sort of domestic violence or mental illness that can be proven with documentation, then the judges will go look at that. It takes consideration in. If there's children over the age of 12, we feel like it should be their choice or at least get their opinion on which parent they want to live with. Right. Because at 12, they have enough foresight to be like, oh, I want to live with mom or I want to live with dad. And this is the reason why. And we should. We should take their opinions into consideration. Right. They're humans, too.
- [15:55]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Right.
- [15:55]
Hope Houdin
And so. And so that's a part. We definitely want to make sure that in the Alec and Lydia act that the judges are held accountable if something does happen to a child moving forward in a family court case, if that child is harmed or if that child is killed during an active family court case hearing, that judge and that case needs to be looked at by the judge's superiors, by that system, not just swept under the rug and closed. Right. And so we want to make sure that these judges are held accountable. We also want to make sure that judges understand what to look for when they're looking at these family court Cases and meeting with these, these parents because oftentimes a victim and an abuser in that dynamic, the. The victim is very shy and might not speak out on the needs that they want to convey to the judge, or the abuser might play the system and they can sweet talk their way and act like everything is okay. Like in Brock's case, when evidently, you know, it wasn't okay. So we want to make sure that the judges have training on trauma response, on mental illness, and on domestic violence and how to spot all three of those.
- [17:14]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Yeah, that's pretty powerful. And was Brock, if you don't mind me asking, was he pushing for the rights of his children or was it kind of just given to him?
- [17:24]
Hope Houdin
No. When we did the emergency temporary orders and I got emergency temporary custody of the kids when he was in the facility, we automatically had to go to an emergency temporary orders hearing a few weeks later. And at that hearing, I was asking for supervised visits because I didn't want to take Alec and Lydia away from their dad. And in the state of Arizona, that's very highly unlikely to happen anyways, so my attorney and I thought that the best bet was supervised visitation. Well, Brock, right out of the gate wanted 50, 50 custody. And now I know that that's the baseline. That's where judges always start In Arizona is 50, 50 custody. And that shouldn't be our baseline for family court. Our baseline should be looking at the specific case and then going from there. There shouldn't be any baseline of, oh, well, it's automatically 50, 50 no matter what, you know, and that's something that needs to change as well.
- [18:24]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
The whole thing seems very manipulative on his part where he just, like, manipulated the judges. He made himself appear to be like, okay. And what's crazy is his diagnosis is bipolar with psychosis. So he might have really good days where he's like, I'm okay. And then the psychosis might trigger something where it's like, I'm not okay and correct. It just doesn't seem like a safe place for a child to be, like, situation.
- [18:53]
Hope Houdin
And that's correct. Right. And we, my attorney and I, were shocked that the judge sided with the 50, 50 after the diagnosis of the bipolar lipo psychosis, because it was like the judge, again, I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know if he just didn't care or if he didn't understand mental illness. And he basically was like, you know, he's taking his meds now. He's been diagnosed with bipolar with psychosis everything's fine. It was basically like he. He took an Advil for a headache, and it went away. And I'm like, no, every. Any lame person, even any lame person like me or my attorney, we are not a psychiatrist. We do not work in mental health. But we do know that psychiatric medication is not like an Advil. It takes a long period of time for it to get in your system, and then it takes a long period of time for it to actually make sure that it's the right medication for Brock. And those safeguards and milestones were never put in place. There was no actual medication checks at all. There was verbal proof from Brock to the judge saying that he took meds, but there was no actual documentation from the psychiatrist at the facility or any other pharmaceutical representative that said, oh, this is the medication that Brock was prescribed, and yes, he is taking it. He filled it. On this date, this date, this date, none of that happened. The judge didn't look at any actual proof. It was Brock's word of mouth that he went off of. And that's not okay.
- [20:30]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
No, that's negligence. Is he taking his medication or not? Is he getting therapy? And pay attention to what the psychiatrist is saying about his, you know, their notes.
- [20:40]
Hope Houdin
And the judge didn't look at any of that. He didn't ask for any additional proof. He didn't ask that of me, but he especially didn't ask that of Brock. Right. Like, if the judge would have been like, hey, can I have proof of, you know, this, this, and this, I, I, as the type of person I am to try to protect my children, I would have tried to get those records on Brock's behalf because I would want to make sure that he was stable with my children. But none of that happened. And so it was just really sad. It was truly like the judge, like we were another number in the system, and the judge was just pushing the case through the system, and that's not okay. And that's why I'm in the position that I'm in. Right. And so I've gotten a lot of feedback on social media from reading my statement, and everybody is so kind and gracious, and I've gotten lots of comments for prayers and, you know, keep going and spreading awareness. I've gotten comments of, you know, you're so brave and strong that you're doing this, that you're saying his name. But it's not brave and strong. It's. I'm doing the right thing. I'm calling this judge out because the judge and the family court system were negligent and they need to be held accountable. Even if that doesn't look like I'm going after them in a court setting because I can't. Judicial immunity, that's going to look like. I'm going to pass laws to make sure that this doesn't continue to happen, and I'm going to make sure that everybody knows that the judge in that family court system did me wrong, and I'm going to say his name and I don't care. There's nothing that they can do to me that's going to make me stop. The ultimate sacrifice that I've given up is my children. So nothing else compares to that. I don't care what happens.
- [22:29]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Oh, my gosh. I'm with you so much. From one mom to another. Heck, yeah. Just do it. Just keep going.
- [22:37]
Hope Houdin
Yep.
- [22:38]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Because at this point, like, what do you got to lose?
- [22:40]
Hope Houdin
Nothing. Right.
- [22:42]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Keep going. And you know what? That leads me to think, too. There's a lot of people who cope, and there's a lot of people who are medicated, and there's a lot of people who struggle with depression, anxiety, like so many people.
- [22:54]
Hope Houdin
And so in the law of the Alec and Lydia act, we put that in there. Right. We do not want the parent that is getting the help for anxiety or depression or ptsd. You know, we don't want the parent that is actively seeking treatment and getting the help that they need. We don't want them to have that go against them. We're trying to make sure that the people that have severe bipolar psychosis, schizophrenia, severe PTSD from the military, people that have severe mental illness are the ones that. We are trying to make sure that the children in those cases are protected and that we protect those individuals as well. Right. We want to make sure that those individuals get the help and support that they need so that at a further point, they can be reconnected with their children once they get the help and support that they need. You know, this is not. We're going to keep your children away from you forever. That's not what we're trying to do. We want to make sure that they're safe and live together harmoniously and not be in danger.
- [24:01]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
So, and that's huge, because you don't want a child to be in danger of someone's mental health and you want to help them. You know, they have, like, this mental illness where they're a danger to themselves. And in Brock's case, he even admitted that he is a danger. He's seeking help. He Wants to get the help done. Like red flag right there, okay, go get the help that you need and take the time that you need to get the help. And it's just like, it just is mind boggling how it came to this. I feel like your children should be here right now and they're not. And it's because of negligence. Like it is a hundred percent negligence.
- [24:43]
Hope Houdin
Yes, a hundred percent. And I do want to let you know, statistically, only 3% of people with mental illness harm other people or themselves. 3%. So that's very small. But Brock was a part of that 3%. And there's other people that are a part of that 3%. You know, look at Whitney Decker and Travis Decker and their three kids, you know, and what he did. So it does happen, you know, and so we're trying to protect that 3% who might be going through a family court case.
- [25:17]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Yeah. Because I'll be honest, I struggle with anxiety. I've struggled with it my whole life and I've had depression when I was a teenager. And I feel like mental health is kind of like stubborn because some people are very like stubborn in a sense where they're like, I don't need the.
- [25:31]
Hope Houdin
Help or I don't know, like they don't see it.
- [25:34]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Yeah, they don't see it. So like, how can we bring awareness to mental health more? Like it's okay if you get on a medication, it's okay if you get help. Like you're human, you know, we don't want you to struggle. We don't. You don't want to hurt your children, you don't want to do these things. I just. Mental health should be easier and more easily accessible to people, you know?
- [25:54]
Hope Houdin
Yeah. And, and we're getting better, right? We have better help. Which is the online platform for therapy. We have, you know, hotlines now for, you know, suicide prevention or just regular hotline. You can call the 988 number and you don't have to be in a suicidal state. I called 988 when I separated from Brock. Like the first night I was at the hotel with the kids. They were sleeping and I was in the bathroom like just crying. And I was like, I need to talk to somebody. It's 2:00 in the morning, nobody's up. Who am I going to call? I'm going to call 988. Not that I was like ever thinking like I was going to harm myself, but I needed to talk to somebody in that moment to let them know, hey, this is what's happening? This is what I'm seeing. Do you have any resources for me or can you just be an ear that I can listen to or that they can listen to me? So that was super helpful, you know, just to talk about it and to get that off my chest. I was able to then after getting off the phone, you know, think more clearly because I was able to talk to somebody that was really there to just listen to me.
- [27:05]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
Yeah.
- [27:06]
Hope Houdin
And it wasn't a family, family member, it wasn't a friend, it was a complete stranger on the other side of the phone. And they might be, they might have been on the other side of the globe for all I know. I don't know where they were from, you know, so. But you know, making sure that people know that we have those resources out there. And that's what I do. On my podcast, Voices Against Filicide, I always have the links available at the bottom of my description of each episode, I talk about resources. In my episodes we have the Voices Against Filicide website, where we have resources and links on the website so people can go to. So it's always available. It's just as a friend or a family member, if you see, if you see somebody that is a friend or family member that is struggling, you need to say something because they're not going to tell you. You need to be that person that's like in a kindful way, hey, I see that you're really having a hard day today. Do you need somebody to talk to you? Do you want to go and get lunch or go get coffee and talk about whatever might be going on you, by doing that might save somebody's life or might help them get the help that they need. And I heard this from my brother in law, even though we see something that might be wrong, our brains try to rationalize it right. In a positive way. So for instance, family members saw that Brock was controlling and manipulative in certain manners towards me. However, they didn't say anything because they saw it and they recognized it, but they rationalized it in their brain like, oh, well, that's their situation, that's their marriage. You know, they'll work it out on their own. I don't need to get involved. But as a friend or a family member that truly does care, you need to get involved, like I said, not in a accusatory way, not in a mean way, but in a kindful, like, hey, I'm here to listen, I'm here to help. Yeah, in a supportive way. So I think that that's something too, is like even though you need to follow through with your gut instinct, if your gut is telling you what I'm watching right now in this interaction is not okay. You need to follow through with your gut before your brain catches up and tries to wash away that situation and tries to think that it's okay. Right.
- [29:38]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
So yeah, like you said, you called 988 or you can text them. And it's just a great resource if you're going through any crisis and it's available to anybody at any time of the day and there is help for you. If you're saying there's help, go get it. It's there for you for a reason. You can protect yourself, you can protect your family. It's just so important to just know that and just have. Whenever you're at ground zero and you're at the bottom, you don't have to be there. There's hands reaching out.
- [30:12]
Hope Houdin
Yes. And there's always somebody there to help you. And I do want to make sure that if, like I said earlier, if there is somebody that is in a controlling or domestic violence situation, the gaslighting of them telling you that nobody cares, that's not true. That's not true. That's them trying to manipulate you to stay and try to gaslight you to make you feel like nobody cares. But there truly is. The day that I told my family and my friends what was happening and then from there, then I told my, my church, then from there I told co workers. Like all of the support that the kids and I got was amazing and nobody was judging, nobody was on a negative side of that. Everybody wanted to come and help me, you know, and help Brock. Brock had support too. You know, it wasn't just me that was getting the support. He had the support from church friends and church pastors helping him as well. So it is not, it is not real. If they say that nobody cares, it's not true.
- [31:20]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
It's an attempt to like isolate you almost. They're not trying to help you just don't even talk to them. And then now you're alone and they have your full control. And I know you're, you're writing a memoir. When is it available and can you tell us a little bit about it?
- [31:35]
Hope Houdin
Yeah. So I hope to release it in 2026. It is fully written. It is going through the pre editing stage right now and then I will send it to the publishers and then hopefully publisher will pick it up and then we'll start that process. So I'm hoping to have it published by 2026. It's going to be called There Is Still Hope. Because there is, because I'm here because my name's Hope. And there's still hope because we have, you know, our Lord and Savior, Jesus. There is always hope. And so, you know, even though this dark time happened, you know, the dark tries to swallow everything up, but the dark cannot extinguish the light. And so there's always hope. And so that is my memoir title and I'm super excited. And my brother in law actually came up with it and I put it in my notes section. This was like, you know, 15 months ago. I put it in my notes section and I was like, yeah, that's going to be the title of my book. So there's Still Hope. It's going to come out in 2026. It's a memoir. So it's written from my point of view. It's going to talk about all the way from my childhood and growing up all the way until present day and how I'm doing now and what I'm doing with Voices Against Filicide and Public speaking and, and all of the stuff that I'm working on currently and the Alec and Lydia act and everything. So it goes all the way through. It's a tear jerker. There's really funny moments, really happy moments and really sad moments. So when you're reading it and listening to it, because I hope it's going to be an audio format as well, it's a good read. I was talking to somebody at Crimecon about it and they're like, you know, is it a page turner? And I was like, oh yeah, you're not going to be able to like put it down. It's like, it's so, it's, it's so engaging. And honestly, the people that I've had help me edit it, they have said, I can't believe that this is your life. Literally can't believe that you've been through everything that you've been through. And there's, there's more stuff. It's not just, you know, a big part of it is Alec and Lydia and what happened. But there is stuff that happened in my life previously that I haven't shared that is like, when you put it all together in a memoir, it's like, how can someone live through all of the stuff that you've lived through? And honestly, the number one theme in my life and in the memoir is my faith and my love of the Lord. And I know that through every single valley that I've went through, he has walked with me. And he stood with me on the hilltops as well, and he's continuing to walk beside me. And so that's why I'm writing this memoir, you know, not only to share my story of what I've went through, but to show people that there is still hope, even in the darkest of places.
- [34:34]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
This is so special. You are an incredible light to your children, and I feel like you are just carrying that with you every single day. They're living in you, like, living through you, and you're just. I could just see it when I met you at CrimeCon, like, when you gave me that hug. I'm a very emotional person, and I can just feel emotions. And I just knew, without even knowing anymore, you were a special person. And I could just say thank you. I'm cheering for you. I really am.
- [35:00]
Hope Houdin
Thank you.
- [35:01]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
I'm going to be buying your memoir, and I'll be talking about it, and I just. I really hope everything works out.
- [35:08]
Hope Houdin
Thank you. I really appreciate it. You know, we're going to. We're going to keep going. We're doing Voices Against Filicide podcast. I got the memoir, we got the Alec and Lydia act, and that's, you know, in the state of Arizona. But I hope eventually that that can be something that's at the federal level. And, you know, like I said in the earlier in the episode, you know, what I am doing will outlive me. What I am doing will save more children than I can comprehend. And that is why I'm here. And honestly, through this, you know, at the very beginning, when I lost Alec and Lydia and Staus, I was like, why am I still here? Because in my head, that night when he killed them and then killed himself, I was like, what stopped him from killing them? And then getting in the car with his gun and driving to my house. We only lived five minutes away from each other. He could have easily driven in the car, came to the house, shot and killed me and himself, and so then we would all not be here. But I have learned through therapy over the last 16 months and through my faith and reading the Bible and being in my church community that this is the reason I am here. I am here for a purpose and a reason. And my purpose is to make sure that I save children's lives and that we put these things into place so that this stops happening.
- [36:40]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
For those of you listening, please make sure that you follow Hope on social media. Hope in the pain. She's on TikTok. She has amazing stories. She talks about her dog, which is so cute. And she just has so much to say. And I feel like she is that special person everyone needs to follow. And check out her podcast.
- [37:01]
Hope Houdin
There's all kinds of episodes. There's episodes about the warning signs of filicide. There's an episode that's going to be coming out specifically on domestic violence and what to look for. And then there's all of the filicide cases that we're going to continue to cover. You know, Rowan Mori, his case, and Pierce from San Francisco. I'm friends with his mom, Leslie Hu, and she's done Pierce's pledge in San Francisco, and she's, she's knocking it out over there and making some real change at the local level and saving children and protecting families that are going through high conflict divorce cases with Pierce's pledge. And so if any of you want more information, you can go look up Pierce's pledge@piercespledge.org and it's in honor of her son Pierce, that lost his life at the hands of his father via filicide. So there are other families and other parents that are going through filicide, and we're just shining lights on each and every one of those cases.
- [38:02]
Ashley (Crime Salad Host)
I just want to thank you so much for trusting me and speaking with us about your story. I know it's hard, and I know you just have so much passion in there and honoring Alec and Lydia and all the children that have passed with such a horrific circumstance. And hopefully we can make a change.
- [38:21]
Hope Houdin
We will. It's not a hope. We are going to make changes. Thank you so much. I so appreciate it, Ashley. And thank you for covering the case and on your podcast and then interviewing me. I think that it's amazing. And thank you for all of your listeners for listening.