“I'm Not Accepting No For An Answer” — A Daughter's Fight to Solve Her Mom's Cold-Case Murder

Summary

Criminally Obsessed – Episode Summary

Episode Title: “I'm Not Accepting No For An Answer” — A Daughter's Fight to Solve Her Mom's Cold-Case Murder

Air Date: April 1, 2026
Host: Anne Emerson
Guest: Marla (Barbara Waldman’s daughter)

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Overview

This episode dives into the harrowing story of Marla’s decades-long fight to solve the 1974 cold-case murder of her mother, Barbara Waldman, in Oceanside, Long Island. Host Anne Emerson explores the personal, investigative, and forensic journey — from family trauma to the leaps in forensic science — that ultimately led Marla and law enforcement to identify the killer 52 years later. The episode focuses on persistence, the power of new technology, and the emotional toll of seeking justice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Murder & Early Family Trauma

• Barbara Waldman’s Life & Death:
  • Young mother of three, murdered in her home at age 31. (00:00–00:45)
  • Crime scene: hands bound with pantyhose, pillowcase in mouth, shot in the head; discovered by her 5-year-old son. (00:41–00:48)
• Immediate Aftermath for the Children:
  • Marla, age 7, recounts being pulled from school, making get-well cards, then learning her mother was gone. (04:53–06:57)
  • Powerful childhood memory: “My dad... grabbed us all and he said, you know, mommy's not coming back, she's in heaven. And a bad man came in the house and took her.” – Marla (05:36)
  • Her brother, Eric, had to live with discovering the body and kept details to himself for decades. (07:03–08:03)
  • “He tried to untie her, but the knot kept getting tighter... he thought someone bad was in the closet, so he ran out and got the neighbors.” – Marla (07:20)

The Investigation: Roadblocks and Breakthroughs

• Reopening the Case:
  • Marla describes years of politely “once a year checking in” with police: “It was my just way of kind of once a year checking in, like, you know, for my mom, can we open the case knowing it was going to be a no.” (01:43–02:48)
• Initial Police Work in 1974:
  • Detailed timeline established soon after the murder, including neighbor hearing a scream and sightings of a suspicious man in a green snorkel coat. (08:44–11:36)
  • Two composite sketches made: “One was person seen him going towards the house. The second... him going away...” – Marla (12:05)
• Family’s Focus on the Father:
  • Rumors swirled due to the father remarrying quickly, but he was cleared by alibi, lie detector, and possible blood typing. (12:22–15:19)
• Early DNA Limitations:
  • In 2004, a partial DNA profile was obtained from evidence (sperm found on the robe), but it wasn’t enough to enter federal databases. (15:33–18:13)
• Catalyst for Reinvestigation – Serial Killer Link:
  • Link to Times Square Killer, Richard Cottingham, led to the case’s reopening in 2022. (18:13–20:58)

Persistence & Genealogical Breakthroughs

• Marla’s Mantra:
  • She credits “Be persistent” as her mantra after reading those words in old research and embraces a relentless approach: “I'm not accepting no for an answer.” (25:50, 28:41)
• Pushing for Genealogy:
  • Marla pressed investigators to move beyond traditional evidence and embrace forensic genealogy. Initially met with flat refusals: "Absolutely not. We do not do that in New York... Do not have the resources." (24:50–25:32)
  • She urges in-person persistence: “Phone calls, emails, it's bullcrap. It doesn't get you anywhere.” (28:43)
• Building Alliances:
  • Marla forms a deep connection with Detective Gina Salerno: “She’s a warrior. She... knew my mother like it was her life's case.” (27:01)
  • Marla acted as “deputy,” remembering names and details for investigators. (27:58)
• Finally Using Genealogy:
  • After fierce advocacy, Detective Salerno seeks out FBI genealogist Lori Giordano, who secures an FBI grant and sends the DNA sample to Othram Lab in Texas. (29:26–31:00)
  • “All I wanted was Othram... because DNA is so sensitive, and Othram has the best technology.” – Marla (31:00)

Identification of the Killer & Aftermath

• The Killer Named:
  • DNA and genealogical research identify Thomas Generazio, a sexual predator who lived 3.7 miles away and was long deceased, as Barbara Waldman’s murderer. (31:00–32:55)
  • “I now have... the person that killed my mother... Whether it’s on a slide or a piece of data, it's there right now. We have it.” – Marla (24:46)
• Barriers to Closure:
  • Despite overwhelming evidence, authorities resist closing the case: “You can close by death of offender, which Nassau county has never done... the DA can't prosecute this individual because he's dead...” (32:55–34:04)
• Marla’s “War Room”:
  • She launches her own investigation, tracing family trees, interviewing relatives, and uncovering evidence of other sexual assaults perpetrated by Generazio. (34:25–38:45)
  • Emotional exchanges with Generazio's daughter and adopted son, both of whom are forced to confront the truth about their father. (38:45–40:47)
  • “My baby brother, at five years old, got off a school bus and found his mother with a bullet in the head. So I am not going to stop what I'm doing.” – Marla (40:04)

The Broader Legacy

• Ongoing Mission:
  • Marla isn’t stopping — she’s constructing a timeline of Generazio’s movements and jobs, alerting authorities in places he lived post-New York, and searching for other victims. (41:16–42:03)
  • “I know, I know there are others.” – Marla (42:03)
• A Message of Perseverance:
  • Marla’s journey is held up as a beacon: “Your story of persistence and what you and your, your siblings have done... so inspiring.” – Anne (42:15)
  • Marla encourages listeners facing cold cases: “I hope it inspires people.” (42:45)
  • “I'm here if anyone wants to, you know, contact me. I will be a support because it's so important. It's life-changing.” – Marla (42:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Relentlessness:
  “I'm not accepting no for an answer. Like, this has to... So I called Detective Salerno... We formed a very, very great bond.” – Marla (25:50, 28:41)
• On Breaking New Ground:
  “You are Nassau County in Long Island... You don't have a formal cold case unit... You're not using the technology of forensic genealogy to its capacity. Being the educator I am, I said, get someone in, learn about it... Pick up the phone, call the FBI.” – Marla (28:43–29:26)
• On Closure and Frustration:
  “They knocked me down. Everything. So I spent another year... shaking our heads like, what do we have to do to get this thing closed? I was told I was being greedy. You know who killed your mother. ...but we’re not closing the case. And I was like, no, not. Not good enough.” – Marla (32:55–34:23)
• A Daughter’s Motivation:
  “My baby brother, at five years old, got off a school bus and found his mother with a bullet in the head. So I am not going to stop what I'm doing.” – Marla (40:04)
• On Supporting Others:
  “I'm here if anyone wants to, you know, contact me. I will be a support because it's so important. It’s life-changing.” – Marla (42:50)
• On the Power of In-Person Pressure:
  “Over the phone... it's bullcrap. It doesn't get you anywhere. ...You need to see me, hear me, look at my facial expressions, watch me cry. ...I need to look you in the eye and say, no, this is not happening.” – Marla (28:41)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–00:48 — The tragic discovery and crime scene details
• 03:01–04:38 — Personal memories of Barbara Waldman and early family background
• 04:53–08:03 — Marla recounts the day of the murder and childhood trauma
• 08:44–12:22 — The original investigation: timeline, neighbor sightings, and composite sketches
• 12:22–15:19 — Scrutiny and clearing of the father
• 15:33–18:13 — The role and limitations of forensic science pre-2020s
• 18:13–20:58 — Turning point: the serial killer link that prompted a new investigation
• 24:50–25:32 — DNA matches and disappointment when Cottingham is excluded
• 27:01–28:00 — Marla’s bond with Detective Salerno; becoming her “deputy”
• 28:43–31:00 — Marla’s insistence on forensic genealogy, leading to Othram and FBI involvement
• 31:00–32:55 — Identification of Generazio and the challenges posed by his death
• 34:25–38:45 — Marla’s war room, family tracing, and assembling evidence of generational trauma
• 40:04–41:16 — Final evidence and closure: “It sealed the coffin.”
• 41:16–42:03 — Continuing mission: looking for additional victims
• 42:15–42:59 — Marla offers support and inspiration to others

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Tone, Style, and Impact

The episode mixes grit with deep empathy, driven by Marla’s unwavering resolve and Anne Emerson’s compassionate, investigative style. It’s both heart-wrenching and uplifting: the trauma is palpable, but so is the drive to change the system for others.

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Conclusion

Marla's story is a masterclass in persistence, from annual check-ins to building her own detective “war room” when law enforcement stalled. Her journey underscores the critical role of familial advocacy, technological progress, and the necessity of human tenacity in breaking through systemic inertia. This episode both memorializes a mother and provides a blueprint for justice-seekers.

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For listeners inspired or struggling with similar unresolved cases, Marla offers her support and encourages continuous advocacy.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Criminally Obsessed. I'm Ann Emerson. Barbara Waldman was a dentist wife. She was a young mom with three kids living in the suburbs, Long Island, New York. She was so pretty and fun, and she had her whole life in front of her. Her youngest child had just started school, but at just 31 years old, she was found murdered on the second floor of her Oceanside home. She was next to the bed. Her hands were tied behind her back with a pair of pantyhose, a pillowcase stick stuffed in her mouth, and a gunshot to her head. She was found by her 5 year old son who had just gotten home from kindergarten. It was January 1974, and for decades, her case went unsolved. It was cold until a serial killer spoke up and Barbara's own relentless daughter went to work. But if you think it ends there, you're wrong.

[B]

My baby brother, at five years old, got off a school bus and found his mother with a bullet in the head. So I am not going to stop what I'm doing.

[A]

After hearing about this story, I thought it probably would never be solved. But it was 52 years later, and I got to talk to the daughter who during her research read two words, Be persistent. And she made that her mantra. Be sure to like and subscribe to Criminally obsessed. So you don't miss any conversations like this one. Okay, Marla, well, let's get started. Started, because there is so much I'd like to hear about this case. I mean, you help police solve your mother's murder after 50 years when it was cold and they said it was not even able to really reopen. It seems like you have accomplished the impossible, Marla.

[B]

Thank you. I feel like I accomplished the impossible. It was many, many years of, of calling the police department and asking, you know, just, you know, can we open my mom's case? Even though I knew I wouldn't be able to. And so the. The main thing that we hear in this field of criminology and trying to open cases is that you. You need new evidence in order to open a case. And I get that, right, because there's probably thousands of cold cases sitting on shelves, and they can't just. They don't have the resources to just go in and take people off the shelf and open the boxes. And you're not guaranteed that there's going to be any viable DNA or anything, you know, substantial in the boxes. But it was my just way of kind of once a year checking in, like, you know, from my mom, can we open the case knowing it Was going to be a no.

[A]

That's so interesting. Tim, let's go back. I want you to tell me about your mom. Everything we've seen of her, the pictures of her. She looks so beautiful. Marla, can you tell us a little bit about your mama?

[B]

I'm gonna get emotional. I'm sorry. She was just a beautiful soul. Beautiful inside and out. She had just a beautiful smile. Lit up a room. She was fearless. She loved to travel. We danced a lot in the house before they had furniture. You know, there was always music, a turntable in a big open living room and we were always dancing and singing. And she had a very light hearted personality, very easygoing, would help anybody. So she was a good person and

[A]

you know, she was a, she was a busy mama. It was, it was you. Your, you were six at the time.

[B]

I was seven.

[A]

Seven.

[B]

So Eric, my younger brother, was five. He was in kindergarten. Larry was six and I was seven. So we were kindergarten, first grade, second grade. We were all, we were kind of like Irish triplets. We were all born about 13 months apart.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

She was a lot of work and semi patients and did she, did she

[A]

do anything outside of the home?

[B]

She got her degree from NYU and teaching, but she never did. She ended up marrying my dad right after they graduated and got pregnant with me pretty soon after. They were stationed in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. My dad was a captain in the army and Larry and I were both army brats. We were both born at Fort Bragg. Palm Bates. Yeah.

[A]

So let's go. If as, as much as you can tell me what happened that day to your mom, what do we, what did you know at the time had happened? Take me back to 1974.

[B]

So at the time I was in second grade in a reading group. The assistant principal came in and was. Was whispering with my teacher and I was called out of class and I didn't know why. You know, obviously, you know, if you're going home, if you have a doctor's appointment, it was just a little bit weird. So I was, you know, kind of curious about that. And as you were walking down the hallway, I saw my brother and my mother's best friend standing at the end of the hallway and still didn't really know what was going on. And they said, you know, there was an accident at home and that we were going to go home with my mom's best friend. And so we did and we went to Rona's house. I don't remember where Eric was at the time, but I was making her get well Cards. So that's why, looking back at that now, it's pretty sad. No one had told us at that point as a seven year old, I just thought, you know, my mom had an accident, right. And we were in the hospital and I was making her get well cards. And then my dad came upstairs and took me and my brothers into the bathroom. I don't know why the bathroom, but he took us into the bathroom and he kind of sat on the toilet and grabbed us all and he said, you know, mommy's not coming back, she's in heaven. And a bad man came in the house and took her. So that's. As a seven year old, that's all I knew. I never knew that my brother Eric had found her. He had gotten off the school bus. My brothers were 5 and 6 and so they ran around and they were playing that day, kind of just tussling and being, you know, five and six year olds. And didn't know until, you know, months later that my brother had actually found her off the kindergarten bus.

[A]

Oh, so your brother was in kindergarten and he had just come home and. And found her?

[B]

Yeah. So he came off the kindergarten bus at about 11:30am for lunch. It was half day kindergarten at the time, in the 60s and or 70s. And he was come. He, he came home with a friend, like for a playdate, for, you know, to bring someone home to the house. And he went upstairs and he found my mother and he, he describes it as he tried to untie her, but the knot kept getting tighter and tighter. And then he looked at the closet and the closet doors were open and he thought someone bad was in the closet, so he ran out and got the neighbors. So. Yeah, and that was, it's pretty heartbreaking to see my brother, you know, talk about that and deal with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But in a way it's been, it's been pretty cathartic, I think, because he's had it in inside his head for 52 years. Never talked about it. Never described what he saw. Well, I'm sure he did to like detectives, but you know, in his later years, and I feel, I feel like maybe he's a little lighter now that he's actually gone through this whole. The case closing. Yeah. And having. And having to talk about it with people. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, and from what investigators told. Told you and what you've learned as you've done your own research, what did police find? How did they find your mom at the house?

[B]

So there's a very specific timeline actually that most people don't know, and this was all part of the investigation and looking at the notes written in 1974 by detectives. So at like 8:45 and I could be off by 15 minutes, my dad leaves for work. We get on the school bus. It's snowing. I slip. My next door neighbor hears my mother say, marla, be careful, you know, and are you okay? Her last words to me, which I found out, which I was very grateful for. We get on the school bus. Eric goes to school. And then there is a composite drawing of a man who was seen going towards my house with a snorkel coat. That's about 9 o'. Clock. It's very fast. At 9:10, my across the street neighbors hear a scream with the vacuum cleaner on, with the windows closed, which was reenacted in 1974 and it was proven that it was, it could have happened. So nine, ten is a scream. So that's where I'm assuming the individual. She knew someone was in the house, Right. The door was not broken into. My mom left the door open back in 74, as did a lot of neighbors in my suburban town. And then about 20 minutes later, a neighbor of mine, Sheila Rosenthal, which I just found this out recently, sees a man in a green snorkel coat, white, walking past her house and looking a right. She sees him. She gives the detectives the exact time and the information so that they can make a composite drawing. And then my mom is supposed to be at a dress fitting in town, meeting one of her dear friends. The dear friend says, Barbara's never late. She calls her housekeeper. The housekeeper runs over to my house, knocks on the door, my mother's car is there. No answer. Okay. Eric gets off the school bus about, you know, 11:30, finds her, runs out of the house, and then the neighbors come in and see her and call 911. It was extremely fast.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, she had routines, she had friends, she had people. And there was, there was an audible scream that somebody heard.

[B]

Yes, there is a timeline.

[A]

There certainly is. I, I want to ask you right there about, you know, and we'll put up for our viewers and for our listeners, we'll make sure that we've got a link to it. But as far as this composite sketch that was captured, basically this, by this witness who was able to see who a possible suspect could be. It was very specific, wasn't it? It was a very specific composite script of a man in this jacket.

[B]

And there were two of them from two different people. Which is even more amazing. Amazing to me that the two Composites. One was person seen him going towards the house. The second composite was him going away from the house.

[A]

I just wanted to go back to your dad for a second because after he had told you what had happened, a few months go by. From what I understand, he remarries quite quickly, which raises a lot of red flags and rumor mills in the neighborhood. Right?

[B]

Yeah. My dad remarried within six months of meeting Pat. My mother was literally gone six months almost the day they got married. He got married 7-14-74. My mother was murdered January 11th. There's a lot of mixed emotions about that. You know, coming from a seven year old, coming from an adult, and then coming from a parent after I've had kids, how would I have handled things? My father does did explain to me throughout my life that he did marry Pat because he needed a mother for his children. But in the beginning, for the first, I would say 10 years, my mother's pictures came off the wall. We had gotten a governess. My father needed to go back to work. He was a dentist in town. And then he got remarried, and we were to call her mom. So that was a lot. But we stuck with the story and we believed it. Right. You know, we. We did. We called her mom. It was bothersome to a lot of people. Now, talking to people from the neighborhood, like, what were you thinking? And like, we were told what to do. Absolutely.

[A]

And it was a different time, Marla. I mean, it was a different time. The 70s was a very different era for women in general. But it must have raised. I mean, was there concern that somehow your dad was connected to this grisly, horrible death?

[B]

I mean, it was assumed from the beginning, before he married Pat, you know, he was in his office, he had done lie detector tests. You know, all of their friends who had vacationed with them and socialized with them felt that they were very in love and had a great relationship. But once he married, you know, that was when things really started to go. Go badly for him. And I kind of don't blame society. Right. Because it doesn't. It doesn't look that good. Thinking about it. How.

[A]

How long did it take for him to be completely cleared of any immediate.

[B]

Immediately. So he was cleared from the police immediately because he had a patient in the chair and he had lie detector tests.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I wasn't told this by detectives, but I feel like someone did tell me that there was a blood typing done on my dad immediately and compared to the evidence, and it wasn't a match. I don't know if that's true or not, but it was something that was said back in the 70s. One of their friends had said, you know, we know it wasn't your dad. It couldn't have been your dad.

[A]

Well, he had an alibi. He had a lot of. He had a lot of things going for him. So that's good. But it just. I was reading a report about how DNA played a role much later. Like 30 years later.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because of course, we didn't have the DNA to be able to say definitively.

[B]

Yeah. So there. There was a time in 1984, unfortunately, my middle brother Larry's best friend, Richie Eigen, was murdered in Oceanside. It was a double homicide. And in 2004, detectives called my brother and said, they have a fingerprint match to the crime scene, and we need you to be a star witness. And so my brother spent a lot of time with detectives in New York through Richie Eigens case and did say to detectives, well, what about my mom? Can we open my mom's case? Since 9 11, the databases had grown, and they had become larger and larger. And they said, yes, if your father gives DNA for exclusion. So in 2004, the DNA did exist, Right? In a way that they were able to use it. However, the technology wasn't sophisticated enough to get a full profile. So there was sperm found on my mom's robe in evidence. They had that. They just didn't know what shape it was in. And they had my dad's DNA. And when they compared the DNA to my dad and the robe, he was not a match. So they knew there was another contributor. Marla.

[A]

You know, this case is just fascinating as far as how long it had sat sort of untouched. Right. What was the trigger for you to be like, that's it. I gotta know what happened.

[B]

So in 2004, when my father gave the DNA sample and we knew that we had DNA from the robe, I knew it existed. I knew that there wasn't a full profile, but there was a partial profile. So the DNA was able to go to a state database, but it wasn't enough strands to go to a federal database. And I just always had that in my head from 2004. And then, you know, you start watching the TV shows, the cold cases, finding my roots. And they're taking a swab and they're saying, this is your cousin, and blah, blah, blah, and they're finding out all this information. And I'm saying, you know, technology seems to be there, only it's not available to me. Right, right.

[A]

So don't Know how to reach it, don't have to access it.

[B]

Right, right. And so in 2004, really wasn't so concerned with pressing for DNA. Pressing for DNA. I would call the, the detective and say, but we had a partial. Why do you need new evidence? We have a partial. So for me, that was like, enough to reopen it. Like, if science is progressing and we have something from 2004 and we know that in 10 years, in 19, 20, 14, we're like beyond where we were, why not retest it? And so it just wasn't an option. In 2022, my brothers, my sister in law, my husband were watching cnn and there was a serial killer, Richard Cottingham, who was known as the Times Square Killer, the torso killer. He had been linked to four murders in Long island, one through DNA from 1968 and three through interviews with him and confessions of things that only he knew, no one else could know. One of those women was Sheila Hyneman, but from. She was from North Woodmere. It was a home invasion. It was very similar to my mom. There was a rape involved. The person was brutally attacked and they were strangled. And so when my brother and my husband and my sister in law sent me that, I said, wait a minute. You know, this was a town away from me, two towns away from me. You know, maybe this person murdered my mom. If not for anything, it could reopen the case. It's new evidence. Right. And I said, it's a possibility. So my brother calls the assistant district attorney that night. I call the detective who was working on the case, Daniel Finn, and Danny Finn says, give me some background information on your mom's case. I'm not familiar with it. So I said, you mean to tell me that after this came out, you're not pulling like every strangulation and rape in Long Island? Right. That's not how it works. Like, we would hope that's the way it works, but it doesn't. There were a group of women polled. My mom was not. I get a call the next day saying, we're going to reopen the case.

[A]

Oh, my.

[B]

Yeah. For me. I called my brothers immediately and I was like, we're getting on a plane and we're going down to New York. I want to sit in person with, with these individuals, with the detectives.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

Yeah. So we didn't know Richard Cottingham. I started watching all the Netflix shows and stuff, thinking could really he have randomly chosen to come into my house based on where I lived. But then Sheila Hyman was also In a neighborhood, like, you just can't wrap your head around it, like, why her? Right? And so, detectives, we all went. Me and my brothers went, and we sat and we. They told us about their interviewing with Cottingham. He didn't typically use a gun. My mother was killed with a.38. But the most interesting part of the conversation in 2022 was that my brothers and I had never been in a room and talked about our mother or the death ever. And here we were in our 50s. We're like, Eric's telling us what he found. She was laying by the window with a hole in her. You know, having hear this, you know, it was very difficult. I decided to stay on for that week with my brothers. So we all stayed in New York together for the week and kind of just like, you know, talked about what we were. We were opening a Pandora's box. Right? We. We knew that, you know, we could turn back now. Right. So we had to wait a very long time for the DNA to come back to see if it was Cottingham. You know, my question was constantly. I want a plan B. Right. That's how my brain works. Yeah. My. My brothers, you know, were more satisfied with, okay, we're going to wait for the DNA.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you. You, Marla, like, started a war room, didn't you? You were like, put everything out on the table. I want to know, you know, who was around, what was going on. That's what I.

[B]

That's how I found out about the scream being heard. I was very suspicious of that, by the way, originally, when we heard. I said, well, tell me about the neighbors. Where were they? What were they doing? Well, such and such did hear your mother scream. I said, and they didn't call 911. He's a judge. They said, no, he didn't call 911. And so I'm going for months thinking, wait a minute, why didn't they investigate this? They did a reenactment. And so I don't have a lot of details at this point because the detectives haven't really delved into the evidence. They've only kind of, like, just touched the bare top of it. Right. Detective Salerno happened to have read about the. The couple across the street hearing the scream, and she thought that was very relevant because it does give us a timeline, which I appreciated because I thought that was very important. But my brothers and I really sat with that until the DNA came back. And I. We said, what if it's someone we know? What if it is a neighbor? Like, you don't know at that point. You're just. And that was in January and then August, I hear maybe it was a couple of months after. It's not. It's not Cottingham. It's not Cottingham, and we don't have a match. But we have a full profile now. So they were able to take the sperm, the semen off the rope, and in 2022 get a full profile, whereas in 2004 it was a partial. So that was a win for me. So this was me in my head. I now have. We have the person that killed my mother. Whether it's on a slide or a piece of data, it's there right now. We have it.

[A]

It's incredible, isn't it? Who was going through that for you?

[B]

So that was. The local lab through Nassau county was comparing it to Cottingham. Not a match with Cottingham. So I said, okay, it wasn't Cottingham. And then it did not match anyone in a state database, as it did not in 2004. And it did not hit anything in the FBI database, the CODIS database nationwide. So it wasn't anyone that was ever criminally charged, or they may have been criminally charged, but they never had that DNA sample taken. Which is another problem, is that not everyone that goes in. Now, if you are a sexual predator, you get your DNA taken. But back in the 70s and 80s, they didn't take DNA. So the database is only as good as what you're putting in it. So then I'm in a situation where I just took some time, like maybe a month or two, and kind of like went quiet and said, you know, like, now what? Right? And I went back to New York and I said, well, what about genealogy? I'm listening to the news. I know they're doing it with the Golden State. They did it with Golden State Murderer in California. They're doing it in other states. Absolutely not. We do not do that in New York. We just don't do it. We don't do it in Nassau County. We don't have the resources. It just. It's not going to happen. So I was like, scratching my head, like, what? This. This doesn't make sense. I said to my brother's, like, I'm not accepting no for an answer. Like, this is not going to happen. Like, this has to. So I called Detective Salerno, who was going through the boxes and was. She gave me my mother's purse and some belongings out of evidence. You know, she and I had a very, very Very great bond. Still do, and I think we will.

[A]

Our female detectives. I mean, you just can't beat them. I hear this. I hear this regularly.

[B]

He's a warrior. She. Yeah, she knew my mother like it was her life's case. Like, she would call me Marla. How are you, Marla? I'm going through. She sent me pictures of her with the files. I'm remember, she was. She's a homicide detective, so she's not a cold case investigator. There is no cold case investigators in. In Nassau County. So when she was on downtime, which was very far and few between, she was in my mother's files calling me. Do you remember this person? Do you remember that person? Because really, I'm the only one who had memory. Like, a lot of the people she contacted either had dementia or weren't alive anymore or didn't remember things. So I became kind of like, I called myself her deputy. I was her Barney Pfeiffer for a while, right? Because I remembered all of these little things. I remembered the names she was mentioning to me and the things.

[A]

How did you get to the genealogy?

[B]

So I said in person. By the way, I think the biggest thing, the biggest take back from this was, and my brothers will agree, they weren't there in person. They really wanted to be on the back burner. They weren't comfortable and they felt like we needed a spokesperson. But I was in your face, right? Like I would say to Gina, no, I'm going to be in New York next week. Give me a day. I'm coming to see you in the da. You know I'm coming in. I need a one on one, face to face. You need to see me, hear me, look at my facial expressions, watch me cry. You, I need to look you in the eye and say, no, this is not happening.

[A]

This is not enough.

[B]

That's right, not enough.

[A]

Not enough. Not until you figure it out.

[B]

No. And over the phone. I'm sorry, Letters, phone calls, emails. It's bullcrap. It doesn't get you anywhere. So I went in and I said to them, listen, with no disrespect, you are. Nassau county in Long Island, New York. You don't have a formal cold case unit here. You're not using the technology of forensic genealogy to its capacity being the educator I am. I said, get someone in, learn about it. You know, call somebody. Really? Is it hard? Call the FBI and say, hey, we got a case. We want to know more.

[A]

Right? And what did they do? Did they do it?

[B]

So Gina called and she met with Lori Giordano, who ended up doing all of the Gilgo beach murders. She gave a lecture to Nassau County Homicide. And Gina said to her, can we have lunch? I'd like you to look at this case for me. And she did. And so Laurie and Gina became like, you know, Lori was local as well. Believe it or not, Even though she was an FBI forensic genealogist, she lived a town away from me in East Rockaway. So she, you know, became very attached to my. My mom's case as well and really wanted to solve it. She said to Gina, I'm going to give you this FBI grant. If the DA will sign it, we will move forward and we will send it out to Othram, which is really amazing lab in Houston, Texas, that I kept saying, can we just use the best labs at least? Right. Because DNA is so sensitive and Othram has the best technology and they're able to get such nano bits of forensics from things that other people can. And all I wanted was othram. And it just so happened the FBI uses our firm, so it was a win win for me. Lori Giordano gave the paperwork over to Jared Rosenblatt, the assistant da. And Jared, he signed off on it, and I'm very, very grateful to him for doing that. And it took about eight months and hardest eight months ever. But I knew. I knew we were going to get a match because I knew that person was out there. We had his DNA, and it hit. It hit big time. It hit with 1 million percent. It hit a couple of his children. I got called to New York to look at the picture. Gina couldn't tell me over the phone who it was. I said, please, just tell me. It wasn't a neighbor and it wasn't someone I knew. She said, I don't think it is. But I will tell you that this man, this is not a freak accident. This man lived 3.7 miles away from your home. But other than that, they didn't know anything else about him. He was literally. They showed me his high school yearbook picture. That's all they had at the time. That's how fresh it was. So I go, and my best friend Lauren is with me, and they show me this picture and they mention his name, Thomas Generazio. I'm not allowed to say the name to anybody, not even my brothers. I'm sworn to secrecy. This is an open and active investigation. And if I do blab and I do tell people and I go on social media and I tell my brothers and it gets out of Hand I can ruin it, right? For the police department, for the homicide detectives. So I kept it to myself for a very long time.

[A]

So you're like, you're like sworn to secrecy, Marla, you're not allowed to tell anyone that you've actually. Well, Othram and you and your persistence and your work with the detectives has cracked a 50 year old case of what happened to you, who did this to your mom.

[B]

But it wasn't good enough. No, it was still years, about a year and a half, two years before we were even able to. So the major problem in a nutshell was this person is deceased, right? He's dead. And so the DA cannot prosecute a dead person. And so what are they wasting their resources on, really? You can close by death of offender, which Nassau county has never done, ever. It's never happened before where the person's deceased, but the DA can't prosecute this individual because he doesn't exist. He's dead. And so the DA says to me, well, what do you want us to do? I'm like, I want to close the case. And like, yeah, no can do. So I was like, whoa, now we have DNA. We have pretty good composites. Not good enough. We have a timeline. Circumstantial. Everything I said, they knocked me down. Everything. So I spent another year now with Gina Salerno and meeting with Lori Giordano, us shaking our heads like, what do we have to do to get this thing closed? I was told I was being greedy. You know who killed your mother. We all know. You know, tell whoever you want who killed her, but we. We're not closing the case. And I was like, no, not. Not good enough. No, not good enough.

[A]

What did it take?

[B]

In the interim of me knowing who it was, I became obsessed with this individual. And I bought every single heritage checkmate been verified the top ancestry. I looked at every family tree. This man was in. He was in 155 family trees. I got names. I got a whiteboard. I started writing things like a detective in my office and attaching post its notes and finding women. And then I called the adoptive son who came up on. On ancestry when the FBI grant went through, he was one of the children that came up. And he was put up for adoption. And he. And Generazio was not on his birth certificate. So I had a very, very strong suspicion that his mother may have been raped. Well, it took me maybe a month, but I called him. I said, what was your mother's name? I'm gonna be very honest with you. Your Biological father's sperm was found at my mother's murder scene. And I know this is probably very painful for you, and I am sorry, but this is my passion project. My lifelong mission is to find and close this case. To find, you know, finally closed the case, and I'd like to know what happened to your mother. And cut a long story short, he gives me his mom's name. I look her up. She's deceased. She was cremated at a friend of mine's funeral parlor. She lived in my town, just as he did. This is all in Oceanside. It's all down from where I live, across the street from the high school. She was 15 years old and sent away to a home for women, for young, pregnant women. I'm calling every single person with her last name that I can find on been verified. I find a woman with the same last name and same address. So I call her and I call her and I call her and I say, listen, please get back to me. This is very, very important, whatever it is. I tell her the story, and she gets back to me and she says, I am not her daughter, her sister. I'm her sister in law. I said, well, I am speaking with her son, and I'd like to know what happened, why she gave him up for adoption. She says she was never married and never had a child. So I was like, uh, oh, what did I open up here? So one of the. The mothers of one of Generazio's children was raped at 15. At a party, I found a woman who was there that night with her, her best friend. I found the woman that held her hand through the pregnancy and was there when she got sent away. She's still alive. She was hysterical, crying. When I spoke to her on the phone, she said, Marla, I'm 78 years old. I have never told a soul about this child. I went and visited him. We named him Richard. His name isn't Richard now. And it was. Just opened up something for me. And I said, my God, I cannot believe this. And I didn't stop. And I don't know if I can. Actually, I'd like to, because it becomes an obsession. And I said to the DA and Gina, I'm gonna sum this up real fast. I have proof that he raped a woman. He's a sexual predator. He didn't leave that sperm at my mother's murder scene because it was a consensual date, which they had used those words to me before, which made me maddened, of course. And so that wasn't enough. Detective Spoke to her. That wasn't enough. The thing that got me over the edge months and months later, I'm talking to the daughter of Thomas, Thomas Generazio. I've spoken to all of his kids. I'm speaking to one of the daughters that grew up with him. Her mother was pregnant with her when he murdered my mom. My mom was murdered January 11th. She was born February 21st. So, I mean, she's a victim too, right? I mean, I felt sorry for her, but she said to me, and she provided one of the photographs from. And she also provided her DNA, by the way, to the FBI to confirm, and it was him. She said something very interesting to me in a very long conversation, three or four hour conversation. I really don't want to believe it was my father that did it, but when I saw the composite drawing and I saw the snorkel coat, I have a picture of him from 1974 in the coat. And then I said, this is it. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Three o' clock in the morning, I call Detective Gina Salerno. I said, you're not gonna believe this. She has a picture of him in the coat. She said, I need the picture. I said, but she told me, she says, I need the picture. And I sent you the two pictures that I got.

[A]

I mean, unbelievable. And you can't. You can't not see the resemblance. Like, besides the fact that the coat's the same coat, you've got the DNA, and this, this is what, this is what you needed, was that photographic evidence?

[B]

Yes. And it was really difficult for me to discuss that with his daughter afterwards. She felt like you used the pictures I sent you. I said, wait a minute, let's talk about this. Your father murdered my mother. I do feel bad for you and I feel bad for your family that you're going through this, but my baby brother, at five years old, got off a school bus and found his mother with a bullet in the head. So I am not going to stop what I'm doing. And everything that you sent me is on Facebook anyway. And it's. You gave it to me and I'm using it. And it was evidence. And yes, it sealed the coffin. It did. It's.

[A]

It's. Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. And it's unbelievable that you were able to get this man, who you have been finding all kinds of evidence that this was not his only victim. Your mom.

[B]

No, that.

[A]

That. That the daughter would work with you to be able to close this. This chapter of your life. What's next for you with this? Because I Know you're not done.

[B]

Well, I'm going to make the timeline because he's been many places and he's done many things. He was a dance instructor, he was a dating a matchmaker. He was a superintendent for a Starrett City, a big apartment building in Brooklyn, New York. He was a cable guy, he was a real estate guy, he was a salesman, he was a radio person. He had so many different jobs and he lived in so many different places. I have everything I need to make the timeline. Right. I've already notified Polk county where he moved after New York because I do think he was probably very active during those years. Central Florida, where I. I know, I know there are others.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what? We'll be sure for our viewers too, to have that picture up of him. And I want everybody to take a very good look at that as you go through. We want to be there with you, Marla, as you go through this because.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Your story of persistence and what you and your, your siblings have done, your brothers have done, to stand up and say thank you enough is not enough that we're going to get to the truth is so inspiring. I could talk to you forever.

[B]

I could.

[A]

Well, because this is a story that, you know, reaches into so many of us is this. That want to know the truth. So thank you for, for, for persisting.

[B]

I hope it inspires people.

[A]

I think it will, Marla, to, to do it.

[B]

And I'm, I'm here if anyone wants to, you know, contact me. I will be a support because it's so important. It's life changing.

[A]

Well, thank you so much. I mean, I think.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

Credible story of. Of participants. And I know that it's still painful, but it is. But it is a way for you to work through it too, which is. Which is incredible. I can't even believe the persistence of Marla. It's incredible to witness. Drop a comment below. Please join the conversation. I'd love to hear what you think about Marla's persistence in this case. I mean, it took everything to get to where we are now and to finally have answers about who killed her mother 50 years ago. And be sure to like and subscribe to Criminally Obsessed and leave us a five star review. And it goes a long way for others to find our podcast.