Loading summary
Transcript58 lines
- [00:00]
Anne Emerson
He doesn't really believe that I could do any of it. So that's kind of been like a. I don't know.
- [00:05]
Tara Petito
He's like down there. I don't know.
- [00:07]
Anne Emerson
We just been fighting all morning and. Hey, everyone, it's Anne Emerson. And this is Criminally Obsessed. Five years ago, almost to the day, Gabby Petito posted this picture while on a cross country road trip with her fiance, Brian Laundrie. But life wasn't even close to the picture perfect images Gabby posted.
- [00:27]
Law Enforcement Officer
Unless the guy's screaming that he needs to go to jail and did something to this girl, it sounds to me like she is the primary aggressor.
- [00:34]
Anne Emerson
We now know. Unlike what those police officers said, Gabby was not the, quote, primary aggressor. Brian strangled her less than two months later. I recently sat down with Gabby's stepmother, Tara Petito, and she shared a lot with me, including new details I've never heard before.
- [00:52]
Tara Petito
Giving Gabby took two trips. I don't think a lot of people know that. Gabby took her first trip before her and Brian ever started dating.
- [00:58]
Anne Emerson
Tia Petito shared things about her stepdaughter's relationship with Laundrie. The red flags and that disturbing body camera video.
- [01:07]
Tara Petito
It's infuriating. It's painful.
- [01:10]
Anne Emerson
And Tara also shared something that really stuck with me. How Gabby's family has chosen to turn an unimaginable loss into something that can help save other lives. Through the Gabby Petito foundation and the Crime Unfiltered Tour. If Gabby's story can help even one person recognize the warning signs or leave a dangerous relationship, her family believes that's how her legacy will live on. And don't forget to like and subscribe to Criminally Obsessed. I'm really glad you're here. Now let's get into it. When you heard about that she was gonna, you know, do this, this trip with Brian that she, she wanted to do the van life. Were there any reservations from you or the other parents? It was like, I don't know if we like this.
- [01:59]
Tara Petito
So of course, because it's your baby girl going out and, you know, traveling the country, but. So Gabby took two trips. I don't think a lot of people know that. Gabby took her first trip before her and Brian ever started dating. So. So I was super, super excited for her when she went on her first trip because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go out, enjoy life, have fun. You're young. This is when you should be doing it. So I was super excited for her. The second trip, not so much. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to be doing things that she loved, but I also wanted her to be responsible in its own adult. I co signed a car for her back in 2018, I think, and when she started dating Brian, she stopped making those payments. And that, I think, was the first warning sign that I didn't understand. And I always thought abuse was physical. I didn't realize that there were many forms of abuse, one being financial. And I didn't realize there was something going on deeper. So I never asked her, is there something else going on? Why are you not making the payments? Hindsight is 20 20, and again, this is why we fight so hard to get this information out to others. So that was. I was so, again, I was not excited about the second trip. I'm happy that she was doing something, following dreams and she was adventurous, all of that. But I also wanted her to be a responsible adult and take care of her responsibilities.
- [03:37]
Anne Emerson
I was wondering if there was anything that. Any red flags that came up with him as they're, you know, as they were about to go out on this trip.
- [03:45]
Tara Petito
I think I was the only parent that was really seeing things. We had taken, me and my husband, her dad and my two boys. We took a trip to Florida right before she left on her. Her trip for Easter. And I thought it was very strange at the time, but he didn't really hang out with us. We stayed there over a little over a week and a half, and he didn't really hang out with us at all. He hung out with us once, and that was. And it was just with me and her. Her brothers. But it was weird. It was very strange looking back at it. It was like he wanted to stay kind of away from us. I don't know how many conversations that I've had with Brian. I never met him when they were in high school together. Before they went on their first road trip. I met him a couple times, but they weren't dating. After they got back from the first road trip, they immediately moved down to Florida. And then I never really spoke to him again that much after that. So they were very serious, right? Yeah. You would think that he did propose, right? She. She didn't ask. He did not ask his father, her father, for his. For her hand in marriage. I found out through a. A Facebook post by his mother. And it's like, that's weird. I confronted Gabby. I asked her about, and she. She got very standoffish and like, weird about even trying to talk about it. And I think that was another Missed opportunity where I probably could have asked and been there for her.
- [05:25]
Anne Emerson
A
- [05:27]
Tara Petito
But again, I didn't know what I don't know. And unfortunately I did not do that. So there was again, it was just. These are just things that you just
- [05:40]
Anne Emerson
start putting them together.
- [05:42]
Tara Petito
Yeah.
- [05:43]
Anne Emerson
It's a piece of a puzzle that you just don't want to see.
- [05:46]
Tara Petito
And now I know he was financially abusing her. Then he was love bombing her. This beautiful trip, these beautiful trips. We're going to go and this is what we're going to do. And this is. That was a dream of hers. She loved going out on adventures. She loved to take photos. And why not make that a job she loved to do like. Right. I mean, so that was something that he was showing her that he could offer her. And I believe this was going on. Brian was threatening to commit suicide. And then you feel it's. It's like a trauma bond. You're like, oh, I feel bad for them. I can't leave them because I would feel guilty if that happened. And that psychological, emotional abuse is harder because you don't even realize what is going on. And if they're gaslighting you, you're questioning all of your reality and they're not. And you're like, well, he doesn't hit me. So I guess this is an abuse. And they don't teach that in high school. They don't teach that in schools. And I feel like that, that they should be every, every student should be able to get that type of education.
- [06:51]
Anne Emerson
Did you ever get the impression that she knew how much danger she was in with bronze?
- [06:57]
Tara Petito
I don't think so. I again, the dangers of strangulation. Now we knew, we know now from her friend Rose that he was strangling her before obviously when she did that, you know, it's a telltale sign that she, she has been. But I guess the dangers of strangulation is not out there, right? You know, you see it on, you know, dating sites. Do you like to be choked out, you know, or you like to be strangled? It's, it's. You see tiktoks about it. I still see tiktoks. There's shirts that somebody makes on TikTok where it's like choka cougar or something along those lines. It's like they don't. Nobody knows the real dangers of a strangler, of someone who strangles.
- [07:45]
Anne Emerson
I hear over and over again that, you know, the most dangerous time for, for a woman who's trying to get out of a Relationship like this, of course, is when she's leaving, and when she says, I'm done, I'm out.
- [07:55]
Tara Petito
That is true. Yeah. Because they don't want to see. It could have happened. Gabby could have been trying to leave. Her mom believes that she was trying to leave. She could have been, but only Gabby would know that. And it is the most dangerous time. That's why it's so important to have a safety plan. If you are leaving an abusive relationship, know that you're not alone. Contact those resources. Contact someone that specializes in this, that knows what they're doing, that can really guide you in the right path.
- [08:31]
Anne Emerson
We'd have been fighting all morning, and
- [08:34]
Tara Petito
he wouldn't let me in the car before. Why wouldn't he let you in the car?
- [08:38]
Law Enforcement Officer
Because of your OCD.
- [08:39]
Anne Emerson
Told me I needed to calm down. You know, I want to get into the body cam video because it has played such a massive role. It's our opportunity to see what was happening in. In this moment of time.
- [08:52]
Law Enforcement Officer
Tell me what's going on. Sometimes, and I try and really distance myself from her. So, like, I locked the car and I walked away from her. You want to tell me about those scratches on your face? She had a cell phone in her hand. That's why I was pushing her away, because I. She wanted me. I locked the keys so I could walk away. I said, let's just take a breather, and let's not, you know, go anywhere. Let's just calm down for a minute. Did he hit you, though?
- [09:17]
Anne Emerson
I mean.
- [09:17]
Law Enforcement Officer
I mean, it's okay if you're saying he hit him. I understand if he hit you, but we want to know the truth. If he actually hit you, because, you know, where did he hit you? Don't worry. Be honest.
- [09:34]
Anne Emerson
They were pulled over after they were seen speeding, swerving. They clipped a curb, I believe. And. And then more than an hour of the interactions with the. The MOA police, and Brian and Gabby were released. It's from two weeks before, correct? That before Gabby was murdered.
- [09:52]
Law Enforcement Officer
I haven't heard what he said, but if that's what he said, it's also what the witness is saying. The witnesses. I never saw him hit her. I saw him shove her, but I couldn't tell if it was an aggression against her or a defense against her as far as her, you know, being the aggressor. So at this point, from what. Unless the guy's screaming that he needs to go to jail and did something to this girl, it sounds to me like she is the primary aggressor.
- [10:16]
Anne Emerson
The family is claiming that there were signs of domestic abuse, of violence that was going on that were not handled in the way that could have stopped what occurred.
- [10:31]
Tara Petito
We say that there's a lot of, there were a lot of missed opportunities where they could have helped Gabby. One being the fact that Gabby said Brian grabbed her like this, which is a clear indirect indicator that he has strangled her before. So if they would have asked more about that, then they probably would have found out that he has strangled her before. Now this is important because stranglers are the most dangerous people to walk this earth. When someone is strangled, they are 750% more likely to take that person's life. There might be no exterior injuries. It could be all internal and they could be life threatening. She should have been immediately given some type of resources or something. They should have asked her some questions about when he grabbed her like that. We found out that the state of Utah was actually supposed to be, it wasn't mandated, was supposed to be issuing a lethality assessment. It's a series of questions. And one of those questions would be, has he strangled you before? But that was not done because again, it was not mandated. It was just, they were supposed to be doing it. So that was, that was one of the biggest takeaways. There was other, a lot of other, a lot of other missed opportunities. There was also the classic signs of Darvo, which is deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. And you could see Brian was doing that. He was playing the victim and making Gabby being the offender. And, and the police just kind of missed that whole thing where they, anything that Gabby said, Gabby could have said. She, this is what I believe. Gabby could have been like, yeah, he punched me. And they would have been like, oh, sorry Brian. What did she do to provoke that? Like, this is my feelings. That's what I felt like. Like they already had their minds set up of like what, how this was going to play out. Whatever Gabby said, it was like they already had their, their minds made up. That's what I believe anyway, that they already had. They, Whatever Gabby said, it didn't, it didn't matter. She said that he stole her, you know, took her keys. Didn't matter. She was the aggressor. She, he grabbed her face, but that didn't, that didn't spark. She had a scratch on her face that didn't do anything. Anything. She said it didn't matter. They already, he was going 45 and a 15. That's 30 miles over the speed limit. And again, they didn't even do anything about that.
- [13:05]
Anne Emerson
So, you know, one part that just sent me through the roof is that
- [13:09]
Tara Petito
they
- [13:12]
Anne Emerson
decide that he's going to go off, they're going to give him money to get set up in a hotel room to cool off, that she should just go off in the van by herself and figure out what to do next. And it just seemed so unbelievable to me that that was their solution to the problem.
- [13:34]
Tara Petito
Well, they used it as a mental health crisis. They said it was a mental health crisis, but they used DV resources to make sure he stayed in the hotel because they named her as the primary aggressor. The problem with that is that you're using DV resources, but then now, because you labeled it as a mental health crisis, seekhaven, which is the DV organization in Moab, never contacted or reached out to Brian to talk to him. So that was another thing that they did. That was a missed opportunity. If they would have labeled it as a domestic assault or domestic violence incident, then ckaven would have went and talked to BR and they would have realized how Gabby's life was in such danger.
- [14:26]
Anne Emerson
It's so hard to understand, Tara. It's so hard to watch. When you watch it, is it still just so damn painful to watch this?
- [14:36]
Tara Petito
It's infuriating. It's painful because it was an opportunity that could have saved her life and she would still be here. We use this, the body cam footage now, as a training tool. And I know other law enforcement agents do use this as a training tool. It's been being used around. Around the globe.
- [14:57]
Law Enforcement Officer
Right.
- [14:59]
Tara Petito
We use it ourselves. And it's. It's heartbreaking to go through it, but it's also such an educational tool to help other people.
- [15:12]
Anne Emerson
Do you believe that if they had intervened properly, that Gabby would still be alive?
- [15:18]
Tara Petito
Oh, 100%, yes. Yes. Because then she would have gotten the resources if they would have did the lethality assessment, got her the resources, or even labeled it as a domestic then. And Brian, they spoke to Brian. That would have saved her life. All of those things would have saved her life.
- [15:37]
Anne Emerson
What was your last conversation with Gabby?
- [15:39]
Tara Petito
So Gabby and I, again, were fighting a lot because of that co signs car. Joey talked to her on August 21st, and I kind of briefly talked to her then, but it wasn't really a conversation, so.
- [15:51]
Anne Emerson
No, it was just doing life.
- [15:53]
Tara Petito
Yeah. But we were arguing a lot about. Because she returned that car early and it cost me a couple grand to. So our relationship was definitely was rocky since when her and Brian started dating the second they Started dating. Our relationship became very. We were very, very close beforehand.
- [16:17]
Anne Emerson
I know that there is a. A lawsuit, the $50 million lawsuit that's now being appealed. Can you tell me where that is right now? It.
- [16:27]
Tara Petito
So oral arguments were set for March 4, but that did not happen. We're waiting for. For them to, I guess, appoint two new judges, and once they do. And now one just, I think, resigned. So now I think they have to appoint three more judges. So we're waiting for that to happen before our oral arguments will probably be set. And then now our oral arguments are being combined with another case, Mandy N. She was a lieutenant governor's family member. And our organ arguments are going to be set with hers because they're also sealing this, I think, Salt Lake City Police Department.
- [17:12]
Anne Emerson
Okay.
- [17:13]
Tara Petito
Unfortunately, this happens all too often. This is not just Gabby. This is not just. This is just because Gabby's case blew up and they. We have the actual footage. There is a lack of training. There are amazing police officers now. Like I said, we back the blue. We want the blue to work with DV agencies. When they work with. This is why our hashtag is to. Together we can. Because when they work together, it's a beautiful thing. They're not supposed to be the social workers, but they are supposed to direct someone to the social workers and the professionals to get them the help that they need. It's just the lack of training on a lot of these officers is ridiculous.
- [17:54]
Anne Emerson
You know, that's a story that has just captured all of our hearts for so many years now. I'm just really grateful that you could take some time to talk to us about it today.
- [18:06]
Tara Petito
Thank you. It's. I feel that it's important to share her story as much as possible. Well, first, I like to keep her memory alive, and I love talking about her because she wasn't just a victim. She was a person. But I also like to talk about certain red flags and warning signs, something that, as a parent, I missed. And now that I'm fully aware of that, I can try to guide my other children. Um, and it's. What we're doing in her name is trying to spread as much awareness as possible to get people to be aware of the red flags and. And things that, you know, that we weren't. We had no idea. We were extremely unaware of at the time. So.
- [18:54]
Anne Emerson
And Tara, you know, I love how they talk, like, how your families have combined to do this work, too, as a. I think you say a bonus parent. And, you know, I love that. I know that's something I know just in my heart that that be something Gabby would love to hear, too, is that through this tragedy that these families have been able to bond together and. And come together on this level as well.
- [19:20]
Tara Petito
It's something she always wanted. I've been in Gabby's life since she was a year old, but she always wanted us to, like, live under the same roof. I think it just made it. Life would make life easier for her, and I think. But I think she knew something more. I understood the fact that we could be like best friends. I talk to Nikki almost every single day, and we know Gabby's there with us in spirit. She sends us signs. No matter where we're going, we always say our hashtag is together. We can.
- [19:50]
Anne Emerson
And, you know, you talk about Gabby like she's right here next to you. She's sitting. She. She's going to come in with, you know, with a cup of coffee any second. You know, what do you wish. What do you miss about. About that sweet girl?
- [20:04]
Tara Petito
Everything. I miss what we're not going to get, what she's not going to get. Some of her friends are getting married and having babies, and we're never going to get that from her. I miss the fact that she is never going to have that opportunity. She's. I miss her laugh, her smile. She was always so driven in her artwork. She was an amazing artist. I miss how she was with her brothers, her siblings. She was such a great big sister. I mean, she was the oldest of six. I think this is why we fight so hard, because we don't want this to happen to any other families. Unfortunately, it's happening more and more each day, and it's. It's the worst feeling in the world, and it's. It's part of that club that no parent should ever belong to.
- [21:02]
Anne Emerson
Drop a comment below. I know a lot of you had followed Gabby Petito's story very closely. What do you think about the work that they're doing now to try and use her story to save other lives? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Be sure to like and subscribe and turn on your notifications. We'll be following all of the cases that you're obsessed with company.