Prof Responds: The Erasure of Nymphadora Tonks

Summary

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Critical Magic Theory: Prof Responds – The Erasure of Nymphadora Tonks

Date: February 25, 2026
Host: Professor Julian Womble
Episode Theme: Analyzing Fandom Responses to Tonks' Character Arc

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Episode Overview

In this Prof Responds episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Womble engages deeply with listener feedback following the previous episode on Nymphadora Tonks. Exploring both the enthusiasm and criticisms of the analysis, Womble invites listeners to reassess Tonks’ arc—particularly the dramatic changes to her character between Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, and her ultimate fate. Through responses from Discord, Patreon, and Spotify, the episode dissects Tonks' house identity, her narrative "erasure," the dynamics with Remus Lupin, and the impossible standards for mother-figures in the Wizarding World.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Is Tonks a Good Hufflepuff?

[08:32–17:18]

• Community Survey: 94% of 76 respondents agreed Tonks is a great Hufflepuff; insightful comments highlight her value-based alignment with Hufflepuff traits, not just surface-level qualities.
• Listener Quotes:
  • Liv: “The house you are in has to do with what you value the highest, not the qualities you possess and exhibit.”
  • Carmen: “She epitomizes the Hufflepuff spirit very well. Honest, hard working and loyal... her mother chose to leave behind all the trappings and privileges for love.”
  • Mark: “Tonks is quite literally the definition of a good Hufflepuff... forging their own futures through independence.”
• Julian’s Response: Tonks’ arc is rooted in loyalty and independence, which are portrayed as key Hufflepuff values. Her profession as an Auror reinforces her commitment to justice, not for show but for the genuine pursuit of it.
  • Quote: “Hufflepuffs love hard... living in a house where, you know, your mom had to give up everything and did so willingly... informs what it means to be in love...” (12:25)
  • Adds a playful aside: “Her being an Auror... also speaks to her Hufflepuff Ness... as kind of Hufflepuffian as you can get.” (14:31)
• Tone: Thoughtful, spirited, and slightly irreverent—Womble jokes about pronunciation debates and Slytherin house rivalry.

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2. The “Robbery” of Tonks’ Character Arc

[19:16–31:02]

• Listener Frustration:
  • Rachel: “Our thoughts are so much more about what was done to Tonks or how she was treated than anything she actually does.”
  • Kylie: Laments the lost Hogwarts Express scene in the movies—Tonks’ role protecting Harry is erased.
  • Annie: “What I really love about Tonks [at the start] is the way she is incredibly competent without sacrificing her femininity... her relationship to herself and her femininity and to her competence was... centered around herself and who she was.”
• Julian’s Riff:
  • “We were robbed. I said it before and I’ll say it again, a theft has been done...” (24:31)
  • Compares Tonks' loss of self for Remus to Elle Woods' arc in Legally Blonde, drawing a distinction between transformative self-change and self-erasure for the sake of a man.
  • “There’s a way that you can be quirky and depressed... you don’t have to lose everything, all of it. For a dude, in this economy?” (25:13)
• Queer Coding & Missed Potential:
  • Womble points out the opportunity for Tonks to represent queerness or at least divergent femininity, which is ultimately snuffed out by a return to traditional heteronormativity:
  • “We were denied a fun, not straight moment... If we weren’t gonna get Wolfstar, fine, whatever... Why not just let her be out here living her best life without a man?” (27:44)
  • “There is a way that, like, what she ends up doing feels very queer coded to me even in its heteronormativity—denying a part of yourself for the sake of being appealing to someone else.” (28:29)
• Memorable Moment:
  • “If you can’t give us a queer character, at least give us one who can be queer coded in no uncertain terms. And we had it. And then she was snatched away from us.” (29:12)

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3. The Remus Lupin Dynamic – Heteronormativity & Gendered Roles

[31:02–44:32]

• Listeners Discuss:
  • Fenty: “Falling for Lupin was one thing, though very heteronormative. Well, losing her personality was not necessary... wives and husbands here can never be equals, it seems.”
  • Kim C.: Calls out the “classic heteronormative I can fix him BS... this patriarchal idea that women are rehab centers for damaged men.” (34:36)
  • Jaz: Nuanced defense, “Remus genuinely loved Tonks... The stress and misery is pretty much all about the baby... not being worthy of love and she deserves better.”
• Julian’s Analysis:
  • Challenges the narrative: “Lupin doesn’t lose himself. Lupin stays the same. Lupin gets better. Ish. Right?... She’s the one who’s doing all the moving.” (36:10)
  • “All you have to do if you want a man is just change everything about yourself. Get rid of all the things that make you interesting.”
  • Examines societal roots of this pattern—women changing for men, not the other way.
  • Explores Remus' suitability as a father: “I don’t think he wanted to be a dad... he is not a hopeful person.” (40:31)
  • Highlights Tonks’ hope and Hufflepuffian belief in fixing/transforming others through loyalty.
  • “I think that Tonks’ Hufflepuffianness—wow, this word is getting a lot longer—exacerbates that already heteronormative, misogynistic, patriarchal belief...” (43:14)

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4. Motherhood, Sacrifice, & Impossible Standards

[44:32–62:44]

• Listener Reflections:
  • Nadia: References America Ferrera’s “impossible to be a woman” speech from Barbie: “We expect Tonks to be superhuman, better than all of us to make impossible choices... it’s impossible to be a woman.”
  • Lorian: “She gets punished for Lupin’s actions as well as her own... she’s at least as much there to be with Lupin as to fight.”
• Julian’s Response:
  • Dissects layers of expectation: “I think some of us would say the right way was for her to stay at home with Teddi. I can see that... but the expectation that she’s the one that has to be there while he’s out there fighting—that feels imbalanced to me.” (46:43)
  • Appeals for compassion and complexity in judging her choice: “We have to trust that the decision she made wasn’t an easy one. It wasn’t because... she potentially loved Lupin more, which is what some people are saying.” (49:55)
  • Compares these judgments to those levied against Merope and Narcissa, noting, “The only mom we’re not hard on is Narcissa, and that’s because we expected her to be below the bar and she raised it.”
  • Explains how the “impossibility” of these choices is symptomatic of the broader social issue where women are tasked with being impossibly perfect.

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5. Is Tonks a Hero? Rethinking Heroism

[56:25–62:44]

• Listener Pushback:
  • Charlie: “Tonks is a hero simply for being an Auror... The fact that she’s an Auror doesn’t diminish her heroism, it enhances it.” (57:40)
  • Jo (via Spotify): “Tonks not being a hero because of her job is crazy... It’s a job. Yes. A career she chose for herself. Every single day she makes a choice to go out there and risk her life... Tonks doesn’t have to be an Auror. She’s choosing the Battle of Hogwarts every day. I’m disappointed in this one.”
• Julian’s Reflection:
  • Candidly admits earlier bias—holding Tonks to an “impossible standard”—and revises his position: “Because in many ways, Tonks is getting held to an impossible standard here. How she has to be superhuman and make perfect choices and justify herself in other ways characters simply don’t. And then I turn around and apply the same logic to her heroism...
  • “You don’t have to do an exceptional thing to be a hero... If you do it all the time, is it exceptional? That is the trap, y’all. That’s the trap, right?” (60:23)
  • Praises listeners for challenging his thinking, reiterates the importance of applying definitions of heroism equally.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “We praise every person that fought in the Battle of Hogwarts and make it a point that they didn’t have to. Tonks doesn’t have to be an Auror... She’s choosing the Battle of Hogwarts every day.” (Jo, 59:25)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “We were robbed. We were robbed, y’all.” (24:31, 29:12)
• “There’s a way that you can be quirky and depressed... you don't have to lose everything, all of it. For a dude, in this economy?” (25:13)
• “Hufflepuffs love hard.” (12:25)
• “We were denied a fun, not straight moment... If you can't give us a queer character, at least give us one who can be queer coded in no uncertain terms.” (27:44–29:12)
• “I don’t think [Lupin] has the tools to be a good dad. I don’t think he wanted to be.” (40:31)
• “She has to be superhuman and make perfect choices and justify herself in other ways characters simply don’t. And then I turn around and apply the same logic to her heroism, requiring her to earn it some other way beyond the choice she’d already made.” (59:13)

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Episode Structure (with Important Segments)

• [01:19] Introduction & context: Revisiting the Tonks episode and the importance of critique in fandom.
• [08:32] Theme 1 – Is Tonks a Good Hufflepuff?
• [19:16] Theme 2 – The Erasure of Tonks: What We Lost
• [31:02] Theme 3 – The Remus Lupin of It All (Gender roles & Relationship critique)
• [44:32] Theme 4 – Motherhood: The Battle of Hogwarts and Impossible Standards
• [56:25] Theme 5 – Rethinking Heroism: Can “Doing Your Job” Be Heroic?
• [64:00] Closing Reflection and Invitation for Further Listener Feedback

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Tone & Style

Julian Womble maintains an engaging, candid, and sometimes humorous tone. He is self-critical, conversational, and fundamentally inclusive, often punctuating analysis with cultural references, playful asides, and repeated calls for listener participation and “bopping.”

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

• This episode offers a passionate and nuanced reconsideration of Nymphadora Tonks, drawing on deep listener engagement.
• Explores the ways fandom processes disappointment regarding her arc—especially in context of gender, queerness, and the series’ moral/maternal standards.
• Womble is transparent about his own evolving views, ultimately championing a critical and more equitable lens on heroism and character judgment in the Wizarding World.

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“Be critical and stay magical, my friends.” (64:00)

Transcript

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[Professor Julian Womble]

Welcome to Critical Magic Theory, where we deconstruct the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Because loving something doesn't mean we can't be critical of it. I'm Professor Julian Womble and today is our Prof. Response episode on Nymphadora. Tonks, y' all, listen up and listen close. Some of you were mad at me, some of you were disappointed in the Taunks episode. Some of you didn't like my takes and so you came and you responded. And now I get to respond. And I'm glad because you all made some really good points and I'm so excited to share some of those points with all of us today because I think that as per usual, Tonks is a character that I think we don't spend a lot of time with and yet we have a lot of feelings about. And part of the reason why that's the case is because in many ways when we first meet her, she breaks the mold of a lot of the women and girl characters that we meet. And as a result, many of us were drawn to her and excited for her progression because we don't really get like a really fun, cool, quirky, clumsy, messy, yet outlandishly competent aunt type character who's young and like post Hogwarts but not Molly Weasley. You know what I'm saying? And so I think many of us have very strong feelings about Tonks. And many of you gave voice to the fact that you all were. That you all liked the reflection and that you felt like it captured what you all were feeling, which is that we were robbed. Hmm. That there was a crime made by the author of this text, who, for one reason or another, and we can't really say for sure, opted to change everything about Tonks, from Order of the Phoenix to Half Blood Prince. And so I'm excited for us to revisit a lot of what went down in the post episode chat, which was, as I predicted, in my Trelawny Lit. And so I'm not going to do a lot of preamble. I'm not going to do a lot of yipping and a lot of yapping. That's not what this episode is about. It's about getting to the comments. And so before we do that, though, you know what we have to do. And I'm not even going to prepare you for it. If you weren't stretching from the beginning from the word go, which I haven't said at all, but if you weren't stretching from the beginning, that's on you. Okay, start stretching now because the bop is coming to you in three. In two, in one. Let's bop. I hope you danced. I'm not going to be with you all long. As we go through the announcements, I just want to highlight the fact that the Cho Chang survey has been posted for you. That new merch has dropped that. I will repost the Cho Chang survey again. For those of you who missed it. If you follow me on social media, Prof. J.W. on Instagram and Prof. W on TikTok, I will probably be posting it there to kind of drum up some support. So always feel free to share this with your friends, even if they don't listen. But you know they have thoughts. We want to hear them, but also share the podcast with your friends. Okay, that feels like it was enough. Okay, let's. Let's get. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. We're not going to delete. We're not going to delete. We're not going to delay. We're going to get right down to it. Let's get down to business. If you get the reference, you're a winner. If you don't, you're not a loser. But you could be winning. Look at Mulan Animated Great things. Let's Talk about tonks.

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[Professor Julian Womble]

Hi there.

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[Professor Julian Womble]

As you all know, for the Prof. Response episodes we break them up into themes so that we can think about, you know, what the post episode chat brought for us and what the conversations kind of were and what were the general debates that were happening. But this one is different. Aha. You see how I, I brought in what we normally do and then I switched it up on you. Okay, because I'm a Slytherin. Speaking of houses, the first thing that we're going to talk about is a question that I forgot to put on the survey, but I was reminded about in the Discord by several chronic overthinkers who reminded me that this is a thing that we need to discuss. Now. I'm grateful because we do need to discuss whether or not Tonks is a good Hufflepuff. Only 76 of us voted. That's fine. We love a cute number. 94% of us said yes and 6% of us said don't know. Liv said, I still stand on that. The house you are in has to do with what you value the highest, not the qualities you possess and exhibit. Tonks is also brave, smart and cunning and ambitious. So why is she in Hufflepuff over the other houses? Because she is more loyal than she is brave. She works harder than she is smart. No, because how could even a magical hat quantify that at the age of 11? Hints, value based and hints of course she's a good Hufflepuff as she exemplifies the house. Honest, hard working and loyal. This may be a hot take, but I think everyone is in their correct house in the books because it's not about the traits, it's about the ideals each person holds. Carmen wrote, I think she is a great example of what Helga Hufflepuff would want her house to be known for. While Tonks is clumsy, it's overshadowed in my opinion by her intelligence and her ability when it comes to magic. She also holds little prejudice that may stem from being in a group of people or a house that didn't value blood supremacy as much. And also by her being half blood, she has interesting back. She has an interesting backstory because her mother is a member of the once noble House Black that chose to leave behind all the trappings and privileges for love. She makes a path for herself and has strong convictions and loyalty. She epitomizes the Hufflepuff spirit very well. Mark wrote, I personally believe that Tonks is quite literally the definition of a good Hufflepuff when we first meet her. She represents the fact that Hufflepuffs are the only students at Hogwarts that are truly seen forging their own futures through independence. It's my turn. Of course she's a good Hufflepuff. We spent a lot of time in the last episode talking about all of the ways that we get to see her loyalty show up. I think. What else is true is that she, in addition to forging her own path, she is also someone who kind of not only march, March, excuse me, marches to the beat of her own drum, but also recognizes when rules should be broken and when they need to be followed. She's so intentional about, you know, the way that she goes about doing certain things. And I think that that's very Hufflepuffian to me, trademarked, because I think, yes, loyalty is important. And we talked a lot about, like, what, that loyalty can kind of be warped sometimes if you are not clear about what you're loyal to or you. You don't, like, ask questions of the things that you're loyal to. And in fact, we also see that as it pertains to Tonks as well. Right. When we see her relationship with Lupin. And while, yes, like, we don't see him asking her to change the way that she looks or appears. Right. Like, that is not something that Lupin asks of her. But I think when your loyalty is met with rejection, I think it can be very devastating for certain people. And it's clear to me that Tonks is one of those people, right. That, like some of what we see from her in the latter books is the byproduct of her not having her own feelings reciprocated in a way that matches the kind of what's the vigor that she normally brings to bear. Right. And I think that that also explains some of why she's as kind of downtrodden as she is when we see her at the very beginning of Half Blood Prince. And I'm not casting any sort of kind of moral take on that particular reality, but I do think it shines a light on, you know, the lengths to which her loyalty goes and what happens when it's met with something that doesn't quite match the same kind of energy. And I think that's really, really, really fascinating. I also think, you know, Hufflepuffs love hard. And I think, interestingly, right, like living in a house where, you know, your mom had to give up everything and did so willingly, right. To be with your dad. Also, it's going to inform kind of the loyalty and the way you understand loyalty, right. The way that you understand what it means to be in love with someone and what you're willing to do in order to kind of make that love happen. And I also wonder. And this, I guess, wait. Should we do this now or should we wait until one of the other themes. We're gonna wait. We're gonna wait to one of the other themes, because I think it will come up and let's hope that I remember, but if I don't, well, I'm sorry. I also think that her being an Auror, someone said in the post episode chat that Americans shouldn't say that word. And the more I try to say it and fail, the more I tend to agree. And no, I don't want to hear any of our European friends, any of our other friends from other places who can say it so eloquently and beautifully and it flows right off the tongue. I don't want to hear it. Keep it to yourself. Okay, but back to what I was saying. I think that her profession also speaks to her Hufflepuff Ness. Right. Because when we talked about Hufflepuffs in their the Dedicated episode over the summer, one of the big things that I spent a lot of time talking about was this sense of right and wrong, right, this sense of justice that Hufflepuffs have and the lengths to which they're willing to kind of see that justice made manifest. And I think that being an Auror is as kind of Hufflepuffian as you can get. Right. Like, you are really going after these dark wizards in a way that I think is different than maybe magical law enforcement or other kind of policing bodies that exist within the magical world. Right? Like you are a dark wizard catcher. You are going after the most dangerous people in the magical world and bringing them to justice. That means that you are going into the thick of it. And I think that there's something really important about that, because one, I think it means that you are going to do whatever it takes to make sure that they see justice, but also that you're not gonna go the way of, say, a Barty Crouch Sr. Who is gonna be out here just doing whatever, you know is necessary to make sure that everyone around you believes that you are doing your job well, because it's not about them. I think many Hufflepups who would be in the position that Tonks is in would be ones who would be much more concerned with the actual pursuit and acquisition of justice than the kind of aesthetic of justice, which I think is counter to a lot of what the magical world operates with. And I think it's that particular reality is that's why she's so good at her job, because she takes it seriously enough to be more concerned about actually doing her job and not what it looks like when she does her job. And so I think taken together, Tonks is an exceptional Hufflepuff and We see the manifestation of that both personally and professionally. And I think that as we continue our conversation, we'll see and kind of get the glimpse of that Hufflepuffian nature of hers. Keep cropping up. But I think there's no denying that even in the limited time that we spend with her. Hufflepuff through and through.

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[Professor Julian Womble]

Hi there.

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[Professor Julian Womble]

Watch it work. One of the other themes that came up quite a bit in the post episode chat was really this conversation about how we reconcile our feelings about Tonks with how she was written. Rachel wrote, the whole time I was thinking what you ended up saying in the reflection. I that our thoughts are so much more about what was done to Tonks or how she was treated than anything she actually does. Would we say that's common amongst more minor characters or is it specific to her? I think we can say something being similar about Fleur. Maybe it's a female character thing. Kylie wrote, My favorite Tonks scene is also the Hogwarts Express scene that was butchered by being replaced by Luna in the films. Not only was she shown showing up as an Auror, there it is again when she's grieving, but she's also picked up the torch of protecting Harry from Sirius. She is aware that Sirius is no longer there. She recognizes how important Harry is to Lupin outside of the Chosen One title, and she shows up for Harry when he's feeling completely abandoned. What an absolute queen. Annie wrote. I've spent years trying to figure out why I'm so disappointed in how Tonks was characterized in the sixth and seventh books. What I really love about Tonks as she's introduced is the way she is incredibly competent without sacrificing her femininity. The Tonks we are introduced to in book five does not fit neatly into the mom or mess trend of so many girls and women in the books. She likes to change her appearance. She changes her hair color, her hair length, her nose. She gets along with people of all ages and background. I love how her relationship to herself and her femininity and to her competence was at the start so centered around herself and who she was. It's my turn. We were robbed. I said it before and I'll say it again, a theft has been done because the reality of the situation is that we were given a Tonks that is someone who we would in theory want to model ourselves after in a way that feels different. And it also feels so annoying is the word that comes to mind for me because when I look at Tonks, I see like what a Luna Lovegood could have been. Right? Like obviously Luna's a little bit more quirky and interesting and fun, but like marching to the beat of her own drum, doing what she feels is best, not really worried about what other people think about her. Like her appearance is whatever she wants it to be. She's not really like concerned about the externalities of the world, which is both a privilege but also a beautiful thing. And we don't get to see that actually come to fruition. We don't actually get to see what adult and what a. I mean Tonks is an adult. So I can't say we don't get to see what an adult version of it looks like, but we don't get to see the full arc of a character like that, let alone a woman. Right. Like we get Xenophilius Lovegood, we get someone who is very much like Luna, but who is a man and is as a result not confined or constrained to any of the other social mores that might, you know, play a part. And I think that there's a way that, you know, many of us mourn the loss of that tongues because there was so much promise there. And I think the other thing that hits really hard is like, there's a way that you can be quirky and depressed and that sounds like morbid, but like there's a way that you don't have to like lose everything, all of it. For a dude in this economy, like that's a. It's a sad thing. And listen, we know people across the gendered spectrum who experience that kind of massive shift in their lives when they experience a loss. But I think it feels like a really dangerous thing to invite young people who connect with Tox to see that. It would have been one thing if she was mourning the death of her cousin. A cousin who like her mom, defied the odds and got out of that God awful family. A cousin who had been wrongly convicted and then was, you know, trying to make its way through. It would be one thing if she was mourning serious. But to find out that all of these physical and emotional and behavioral changes were the byproduct of unrequited love liking for Remus. No, no shade to him. I think it's just a really bad message to send to people. Like, and then what's more, right, all those changes and she gets the guy, right? Like she ultimately does end up with Lupin. So then someone could walk away and be like, well, maybe it works. It's giving very much, like to a much greater degree. But you know, Legally Blonde, um, I'm giving you very 90s early aughts references. If you don't get them, don't say anything, just Google it. But at the beginning of Legally Blonde, once Warner has broken up with Elle, she decides she's going to change herself. Like she's going to go and dye her hair. She's going to become a brunette. I mean, and the whole sense of the movie, right, like, is her changing herself. She ends up at Harvard Law School. She studies the whole year to kind of try to get in. She nails the lsat, all the things, but it's all in pursuit of trying to get this guy. And then unlike Tonks, she doesn't change her hair color. She realizes that she's better than him. And then she becomes top of her class and is like that girl. And I think, right, Like, I like that trajectory. That could have been Tonks. We were robbed. We were robbed, y'. All. I think that there's a world where that could have been what we saw that. Yeah. Like, maybe you and Remus don't work out or maybe you do because you went back to who you were, but the fact that you, like, completely got rid of all the things that made you you in order to be something again. And I want to give credit here, he doesn't ask her to do this. She makes this decision, but it works. And that's what's disappointing. And he doesn't invite her to not do it. And you know what else? We were robbed of queerness. I had ended this section and then as I was moving on to the next section, I said, no, I have some more thoughts on this. No, we were denied a fun, not straight moment. Like, if we weren't gonna get Wolfstar, fine, whatever. Okay, but like, why not just leave Tonks single? Why not just let her be out here living her best life without a man, without anyone? If that was the concern, if the author didn't want to make the narrative queer, if the publisher was like, we're not ready for that, then why put her with anyone? Right? Like, it just, it's so heavy handed in terms of the heteronormativity of it all. And it just feels so forced. And what's more, and I think if you'll just grant me a moment to think about the way that. And I'm not. We can never know whether or not Tonks is queer. That's not clear to us. But what is clear is that, like, what she ends up doing right, feels very queer, coded to me even in its heteronormativity, which is denying a part of yourself or denying many parts of yourself for the sake of being appealing to someone else. And that someone else may or may not have been someone who was on your radar. I don't know. It's hard to be able to even tell With Tonks and Lupin, like they have these moments and apparently, and people are, to their credit, going out and really trying to find a way to make the relationship make sense timeline wise in terms of like when this whole thing started that would have led to her making such colossal changes to her appearance, her personality and the like. But it also feels very queer to me because it's one of those things that, like when you feel compelled to try and be something that you're not, it never quite hit. And it feels like we got to meet the true Tonks in book five and then we meet her again. This is the kind of version that is masking something for the sake of trying to make someone else comfortable to be something that you believe that they will like for reasons that are again, unclear. And I just feel like not only were we robbed because we lost the like cool aunt vibe, but we also lost like, if you can't give us a queer character, at least give us one who can be queer coded in no uncertain terms. And we had it. We had it. And then she was snatched away from us. And in a world where like we get so many straight people doing so many straight people things, no offense to those of you who are heterosexual at all, but I think it would have been cool to just have a character who wasn't easily written off as just being weird, like Luna, and who was cool and fun and vivacious and not attached. Right? Like we get Charlie Weasley. Why couldn't we get a Tonks? I'm going to say it again. We were robbed.

[Lost Traveler]

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Grainger Advertiser]

Hi there.

[Lost Traveler]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[T Mobile Representative]

Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[Lost Traveler]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[T Mobile Representative]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[Lost Traveler]

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[Professor Julian Womble]

Theme three builds right off of theme two, y', all, we're diving into the Remus Lupin of it all, because how could we not? Fenty wrote Listening to the reflection, I have to agree. Falling for Lupin was one thing, though very heteronormative. Well, losing her personality was not necessary, even though there should have been a power dynamic. It's as though it's always the man who has to take the lead. Wives and husbands here can never be equals, it seems. Yes, loving someone who has a real issue with being loved could have been hard for understandable reasons. I mean, being a werewolf is not what you'd put on your it's not what you put on your dating app profile, is it? No. Did that really mean that she had to lose her sense of humor and some of her magical abilities? No. And yet here we are. It says so much about the author Kim C. Wrote, As a straight CIS woman, the tongs loop in a relationship is very obviously the classic heteronormative I can fix him BS this patriarchal idea that women are rehab centers for damaged men. My goodness. And we are supposed to take these emotionally unavailable, emotionally immature, avoidant men who clearly don't have the skills to be good partners, since see their potential that's in quotes. And love them into a healed person. And when we inevitably fail, we are blamed not only for our own unhappiness, but for his continued unhealthy behavior. Men don't need therapy, they just need the love of a good woman. That's in quotes. And if we couldn't heal them, it's because we aren't a good woman. Good woman is also in quotes. Jaz wrote. I think Remus genuinely loved Tonks and wanted to be with her. He didn't allow himself to be with her for ages because of his own self loathing. I'm too poor, too old, too dangerous. Tonks deserve somebody young and whole is what he says. Not I don't love her or I don't want to be with her, but I'm not worthy of love and she deserves better than me. The stress and misery is pretty much all about the baby. He gives his reasons in Deathly Hallows when he tries to run out on her, he thinks the baby will inherit his lycanthropy, and he's stressed out and remorseful that he's caused an Innocent baby to suffer the condition. It's my turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I just went on whole tirade about how I think that this whole relationship feels forced, and I think that it does. And I also agree with the idea that the lessons that we are taught in this relationship are really fascinating because Lupin doesn't lose himself. Lupin stays the same. Lupin gets better. Ish. Right? Like, he's excited when Teddy is born, but like the circumstances that we see him in, the, The. The disposition doesn't really change all that much. Physicality doesn't really shift. We don't see any of that. She's the one who's doing all the moving. And I think. I think that's one of these implicit things that we're meant to take away from this. I think we're meant to take away the fact that, like, no, no, no. All you have to do if you want a man is just change everything about yourself. Get rid of all the things that make you interesting. And where did she get that from? Who even knows? Like, this man's best friend was Sirius Black. And you think that somehow, like, not having pink hair is gonna be the way to his heart. You made that up. But you got it from somewhere. There's some sort of societal piece that is in you that makes you think that this is a thing. And I just. It again, it. It makes me very sad because I think I cannot. As you all know, I say it all the time, like I'm not a parent and I. I wonder about. And this is not me being like, I feel so bad for Remus, but, like, being a werewolf is stressful enough. Having been one since you were five years old is unimaginable. Recognizing that this is something that you could pass down to a child who is going to have to suffer in a similar way to you, even with the wolfsbane potion. Like, that is scary and like, him running out does not solve that. And what's more, and this is important because we did not talk about in his episode whether we thought that Remus was a good dad. And we've got some time. And so I know that I didn't bring any of your thoughts with me on this, but here are a few of mine. I don't think he wanted to be a dad in the first place. And I think that there is a world in which, like, he feels so ill equipped that he just, like, we don't ever get to see him be a dad. And I think that that was my logic for why I didn't ask the question. But to be fair, we also don't get to see Tonk, so it's not very well founded. So shame on me. I think that the reality of Lupin as a dad is one that is rife with anxiety and not, like the normal, like, I am a parent who, you know, fears for my child because the world is a crazy place and now they are here type of anxiety, but an even deeper seated one, because in his mind, he is the reason why the world is crazy. And now you kind of have to deal with your own trauma. And we've talked about this before, about how, like, nothing holds a mirror up to your life more than caring for a child. Like, this is what all my friends who are parents say, right? And sometimes it's funny, and sometimes you're like, woof. Where'd you get that from? That's crazy. Is it for me, I don't like that. Don't do that again. Was it for me. I didn't do that. Was it. And I cannot imagine, because what we also know about Remus is that, like, he has a lot of unresolved trauma, and a lot of it happens once a month. And the difficulty then of trying to, like, you know, what do you do with a child who, like, can't quite communicate that because they're too young and they're going through these. These things, like, he can't. He doesn't understand that. Right. Like, this is entirely new territory for him. And so I don't think that he has the tools to be a good dad. I think I'm not a person who thinks that, like, every human being is inherently a good parent when, if, if. And when push comes to shove, I don't think that at all. And I think that I don't think that he is a good dad because I don't think he has the tools. I don't think he's a good dad because I don't think he wanted to be. I don't think he's a good dad because I think at the end of the day, the thing that drives so many parents and guardians and people and caregivers is hope. And I just. I don't want to go so far as to say that I think Lupin is hopeless, but I do think that, like, he is not a hopeful person. On the other hand, though, because this is a Tonks episode, so we're not going to spend all this time talking about this man in this economy Enough. I do think that Tonks is a hopeful person. I do think that she is someone who believes in the hope. And I think that that's the Hufflepuff of it all. I think that that is what motivates her to make many of the choices that she makes. I also do think, though, and this, I think is a trait of some of the most loyal people, is that if I just let my light shine enough, it will warm that person. It will melt their ice cold heart. If I'm just good enough, they will change. If I just shift enough, they will move. If I work hard enough, they will see my worth. And that also feels very Hufflepuffian to me because it is certainly Bellatrix. And, you know, I think she's a dark Hufflepuff. Um, I think there are many characters that have this belief that, like, because the thing about balance is right, that, like, some people have it inherently and some people believe that you can just make it work. You just have to tip the scales in your favor. And so that when we think about Hufflepuffs and their belief about justice and right and wrong, it's like we can always even this thing out, right? Like, even when Cedric beats Harry and it was an unfair victory, he tries to balance the scales by way of telling them to forfeit the match, but it was too late because he had already caught the snitch. And so I think that there's also a very Hufflepuffian dynamic at work here that is then combined with the gendered dynamic that was brought up in some of the comments to for Tonks to try and make it work with Remus because she wanted it to. And even though he rejects her and says no, in her mind, that rejection might read as, I just need to work a little harder. Which if in the hands of someone else, is terrifying and dangerous and bad. And it is for her too, because she loses herself generally, when we see that kind of mentality, right, and we flip the genders, it becomes something completely different. And so this dynamic at work here in its heteronormativity is both, I think, grounded in Tonks, very kind of like, I can fix him by way of being what he needs me to be when he needs me to be it type vibe. Oof. I'm like, really, I'm really, really dragging myself right now. And also the gendered belief that men don't need to be the ones to be the impetus for the changes, right? That they have to be pushed and pulled and, you know, wet and molded and shaped and twisted in order to be what women want them to be. And like, even if we think about the real world that we live in, right? Like there's so much of that happening in like the books that we like to read. No shade. But like the. But Daddy, I can fix him of it. All right. Like that is a thing. And I think that Tonks. Hufflepuffianness. Wow, this word is getting a lot longer. Exacerbates that already heteronormative, misogynistic, patriarchal belief that we see kind of present in a lot of very antiquated understandings of what the role of what women in society is meant to be.

[Lost Traveler]

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Professor Julian Womble]

Hi there.

[Lost Traveler]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[T Mobile Representative]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[Lost Traveler]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[T Mobile Representative]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[Lost Traveler]

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

[T Mobile Advertiser]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out, plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

[T Mobile Network Analyst]

Best mobile network based on analysis by Ookle of speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See T Mobile for details.

[Professor Julian Womble]

The last thing that we're going to discuss is one that came up quite a lot in the post episode chat. One that I knew was gonna bring some chaos and one that led some people to engage in some really, really interesting debate. And it's the one that centers on whether Tonks is a good mother. And how do we assess that based on her presence at the Battle of Hogwarts? And how do we reconcile that and juxtapose that next to some of the other maternal sacrifices that we see made by Lily, by Narcissa, made by Molly and other characters. Lily is facing Voldemort directly. James is already dead. Voldemort is in the room. He gives her a literal ultimatum to step aside. If she moves, Harry dies. There's no safe alternative. It's immediate, lethal, unavoidable. Her body is the only thing between Harry and certain death. Tonks situation feels different to me. Yes, it's war. Yes, Voldemort is at Hogwarts, but he's not in her home standing over Teddy. She has a newborn who's days old. She's postpartum. And she does have an alternative. She could stay home with her baby while others fight. She chooses to re enter combat. That doesn't make her not brave, but it makes it a different kind of choice. Nadia wrote. I'm reminded of America Ferrera's iconic Barbie speech. It is literally impossible to be a woman. You have to be extraordinary, but somehow we are always doing it wrong. We are invited to expect Tonks to be a great fighter even weeks after giving birth when we have no information about her postnatal period in the magical world. We expect her to be a good wife to a husband who abandoned her during her pregnancy. We want her to be a good mother with no indication in the text to tell us how she felt about motherhood. We expect Tonks to be superhuman, better than all of us to make impossible choices quickly and easily. It's impossible to be a woman. Lorian wrote. I think she gets punished for Lupin's actions as well as her own. Poor Teddy. Neither of his parents thought to stay with him. And because she's a woman, she gets punished harder at the Battle of Hogwarts. I think it's ambiguous as to what her motivation is for turn up. I think there's a read that she's at least as much there to be with Lupin as she is to fight. The first thing she says when she arrives is, where is Lupin? And immediately goes off to look for him. She doesn't ask where she's needed. She then does the same later in the battle. It's my turn. Okay, I love this because I do think that we do have really, really high standards for these characters, and especially our women characters, especially our mothers. We've talked about it in the context of Molly. We've talked about it in the context of even Narcissa to a certain degree. And now we're here with Tonks, and I think that there is no right way for her to have done this. Um, I think that some of us would say the right way was for her to stay at home with Teddi. And I can see that. Well, I can. I can understand that. I think the right way could have been, well, she needed to be there fighting for him so that he could live in a better world. I could See that as well. Um, I think the thing about Tonks that's fascinating. Right. Is in theory, if I'm not mistaken, she would have been pregnant when they did the Seven Potters, right? Someone help me with that math. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But I think she was, because they don't. They're. They don't end up at Grim Old Place for that long before Lupin shows up and tells them that she's with child. Right? So, like, she's already made decisions and maybe she didn't know, who knows? But at the end of the day, I think. I think we just have to trust women. And I'm not talking about the author of this text. We don't have to trust her because I don't think that she's trustworthy. And I think that Tonks progression as a character proves that to us. But I do think that, like, we are conditioned, and it is so, so easy for us to look at the decisions of mothers and say, well, that was a bad one. Right. And I think, you know, we gotta keep that same energy. If the. If the answer is that she should have been home, so should have Remus. Neither of them should have been there. Like, none. They should have both stayed home with the baby. Right. Like, the expectation that she's the one that has to be there while he's out there fighting that feels imbalanced to me. And I understand the impulse. I understand that, like, if one of them had to be there, then it didn't need to be her. Sure. But at the end of the day, like, we have to trust that the decision that she made wasn't an easy one. It wasn't because she didn't love her child. It wasn't because that she potentially loved Lupin more, which is what some people are saying. And, I mean, the text might give us a sense that she was concerned about him and wanted to be there with him. Yes. But I'm not convinced that that's an indication of who she cared about more. I think that there's a world where she cares about both of them and that's why she left Teddi with her mom. And I think that this feels very similar to me in a lot of ways, and correct me if you don't agree, which is totally fine, but it feels very much like the critique many of us leveraged against Merope when she died. Right. That, like, she didn't care about Tom Riddle, that she gave him up, but she kept herself in good enough health to then go have that baby in a place where she knew he could be taken care of. And I think that the same is set here, right? Like, I cannot imagine, especially given the amount of time that she had, just, like, she had just had this baby. Like, let's say it had been a month. There's no way. There is no way, like, biologically. And again, like, I am not a person who is born a child, but I know enough about science to know that, like, one's brain is altered to the highest level. And the idea that you could flippantly, flippantly, like, just be like, I gotta go so I can go fight, seems very, very, very unlikely to me. Knowing what science tells us about the relationship between, like, a mother's brain that soon after giving birth to a child, like, everything in your body is in a state of, like, constant protection of this child that you have just born. So for her to have made this decision is certainly not one that I think was made lightly. And I don't think that it was one that was made without a consideration of the cost, the potential sacrifice. I just cannot imagine that someone who is as loyal and as caring as Tonks would so easily be, like, the baby will be fine. I gotta go. Like, it cannot have been easy for her. I just can't imagine it couldn't have been easy for Lupin. But there's a world where you want. And what does he say? Where's my book? What does he say? He says something to Harry in the forest. Hold on, I'm flipping through pages. The forest again. The Prince's tale. Blah, blah. The forest again. Sorry. I will never know him, but he will know why I died. And I hope he will understand I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life. And that, I think is undoubtedly true for Tonks as well. I think it is easy for us as observers, as readers, as people not in this position, to say, like, you should be doing X. I think the reality is, though, that it is a much more complicated situation when you are wanting to protect your child. And you know that there's a world that you can be of much greater use to those ends by being away from them. I can't imagine. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for her. And I think that there is a way that, like, yes, absolutely. Like, you know, could she have stayed? Sure. So could Lupin. They could have stayed, and maybe they would have figured it out from there. Um, but. And. And. And it's not Lupin episode. So we're not gonna get into that. But I think that we are harder on her. I think we're harder on all the moms. We're hard on Molly. The only mom that we're not hard on is Narcissa, and that's because she was bad. So we. We expected her to be below the. The bar and she raised it because she lied to Voldemort. We were hard on Merope, which, yes, there are reasons as to why we should be. And I'm not saying that any of these women are above reproach, but I do think that when it comes to our expectations for what they should do, there's a level of impossibility that is introduced here that speaks exactly to what Nadia pointed to in that debate in that quote from Barbie. Right. The impossibility of the decision making on the part of women. And I think that there's a world in which, like, sometimes we expect them to be able to do the impossible in the way that we want the impossible to be done. And it's not fair. We've now reached a point of the episode where I am going to reflect and the reflection is going to be based on the conversation that we had in the last episode about heroism. And I wanted to come back and say something because some of us were not happy with the words that I said. And we'll get into that a little bit as I go through the reflection. But it's been something that I've been sitting with and comments that were critical of what I said, which thank you, kind of invited me to really sit with what I was thinking about and what I said on the episode. And I implied in that that doing your job and being a hero are mutually exclusive. Right? That if Tonks was acting as an Auror, bleh. Did it again. If fighting dark wizards was literally what she was trained and paid to do, then that duty can't count as heroism. And many of you kind of pushed back on that, and I'm grateful that you did. Charlie wrote, tonks is a hero simply for being an Auror. Excluding the DVL diva of it all. She willingly chose to catch bad people to make the world safer. She grew up in a post Voldemort world, never expecting him to return, and still decided to put her life on the line again and again. The fact that she's an Auror doesn't diminish her heroism, it enhances it. This is where I think I fell in a trap. And it's a trap that I just talked about. You see how quickly it Happens because in many ways, Tonks is getting held to an impossible standard here. How she has to be superhuman and make perfect choices and justify herself in other ways. Characters simply don't. And then I turn around and apply the same logic to her heroism, requiring her to earn it some other way beyond the choice she'd already made. Jo, who wrote on Spotify, wrote Tonks not being a hero because of her job is crazy. I'm sorry, Julian, but you're smarter than that. Thank you. It's a job. Yes. A career she chose for herself. Every single day she makes a choice to go out there and risk her life. We praise every person that fought in the Battle of Hogwarts and make it a point that they didn't have to. Tonks doesn't have to be an Auror. She's not forced to. She doesn't have a gun to her head or a wand. She's choosing the Battle of Hogwarts every day. I'm disappointed in this one. Jo's point is really important and I think it speaks directly to the point that was also made by Charlie in that it speaks to the fact that the professional choice to be an Auror is in and of itself something that speaks to doing something that you don't have to do. Right. You could have been anything. You could have made a specific kind of choice. And I think that the thing that I kind of fell into was the idea that because Tonks does this, that this particular moment of her being in the Battle of Hogwarts is not exceptional. And I think that the problem with that thought process is that you don't have to do an exceptional thing to be a hero. And that's what I had to sit with. Right? Like the idea that, yes, other people that we have called individuals, other individuals that we've called heroes, rather, we have often used the Battle of Hogwarts as our barometer. And so why should that shift here? Why should that be any different? It being her job doesn't take away from the fact that she's still pulling, putting her life on the line. She still left her child at home. She still is risking her life for what she believes in. And who cares if she does it every day? That doesn't change the fact that what she's doing is heroic because the profession in and of itself is a thing that people don't choose to do. And I don't think we would ever look at Mad Eye Moody and say, he is not a hero. Now, granted, he died before the Battle of Hogwarts. But he's still a hero. Like the sacrifices that this man had been locked in a trunk. But this is not a mad eye moody episode. There is a way, I think, that even I. Not even I. As if to say that I'm above it all, but, like, that I looked at Tonks and said, well, if you do it all the time, is it exceptional? And that is the trap, y'. All. That's the trap, right? Like, that's the trap of why, when we look at moms doing, like, extraordinary feats of just being able to, like, maintain their children's pulse while also maintaining a life for themselves, we're like, well, yeah, of course she did. But a dad is, like, walking his kid down the street and we're like, he's such a good dad. The best father to ever father of all the fathers, right? Like, that's what I did. I did that very thing right where I'm like, well, yeah, of course. She's an aura. Like, duh. Well, well, well. I'm so grateful for you all, because I listen, I'm a nerd. I love thinking too deeply about things, hence this podcast. And I love that I had to go back and really check my own biases here, right? Because I think at the end of the day, there's a way that we can kind of flatten what it means to be a hero if we're not thinking about it in a way that is critical and also checking our own biases and checking in on what it is. That how it is that we arrive at these definitions. And I think Tonks chose the path of being an aura before the war escalated and showed up for it when it cost her everything and went to Hogwarts because she believed the world her son was going to inherit was worth fighting for. And I know that many of us have very different definitions of what it is to be a hero, and some of those bars are sky high, and some of them are, you know, not. But I think that no matter what your definition is, what this has invited me to do, and what my invitation is for you is to make sure that it's applied equally across all identities, across all the things, in all the ways. And I'm thankful to you all for inviting me to do that.

[Lost Traveler]

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Professor Julian Womble]

Hi there.

[Lost Traveler]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[T Mobile Representative]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out how

[Lost Traveler]

are you getting a signal out here?

[T Mobile Representative]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[Lost Traveler]

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

[T Mobile Advertiser]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

[T Mobile Network Analyst]

Best mobile network Based on analysis by Ookle of speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile mobile.com for details.

[Professor Julian Womble]

This has been another episode of Critical Magic Theory. I'm Professor Julian Womble and if you liked today's episode, first of all, thank you. Please feel free to like rate, subscribe and do all the things that one does where pods are cast y'. All. What a time. What a moment. What an episode. As always, I'm so grateful for those of you who participated in the post episode chat and the ones who are participating in the post episode chat on this. If you do not want to be on Patreon because you're too shy, but you want to send me DMs to tell me your thoughts, please feel free to do so on Instagram Prof. JW TikTok ProfW. You can also comment on Spotify if that's where you listen. Y', all. I want to hear from you. You all are teaching me and I'm learning and I love learning because that is what it is all about y'. All. The Cho Chang survey is up. Do not forget to do it. And there will be a post episode shot for this episode where we can continue this conversation. Until then, be critical and stay magical. My friends. By.

[Lost Traveler]

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Professor Julian Womble]

Hi there.

[Lost Traveler]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[T Mobile Representative]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[Lost Traveler]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[T Mobile Representative]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year old price guarantee. Okay. Here's those directions actually, can you point

[Lost Traveler]

us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

[T Mobile Advertiser]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out plus our five year price guarantee and now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

[T Mobile Network Analyst]

Best mobile network based on analysis by Oogle of Speed Test Intelligence the unit to bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee. On talk, text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.