Critical Magic Theory: Two Years of Critical Magic — Best & Worst Teachers at Hogwarts

Podcast: Critical Magic Theory: An Analytical Harry Potter Podcast
Host: Prof. Julian Wamble
Episode Date: January 21, 2026
Episode Title: Two Years of Critical Magic: Best & Worst Teachers at Hogwarts

Episode Overview

In celebration of the podcast’s second anniversary, Professor Julian Wamble looks back across two years of analytical deep-dives into the Wizarding World’s educators. This episode synthesizes listener surveys, Discord discussions, and Prof. Wamble’s own insights to explore two core questions: Who are the best and worst teachers at Hogwarts, and what does it actually mean to be a “good” teacher in the magical world? Special attention is paid to the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, notorious for its revolving door of instructors and the variance in teaching approaches.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Framing the Teaching Question at Hogwarts

[00:57–14:29]

• Anniversary Celebration: Prof. Wamble invites listeners to “double your bop, double your fun” for the podcast’s second birthday—with the promise of a special survey-based reflection on Hogwarts faculty.
• Acknowledgments & Shoutouts: Thanks to the Discord’s “Arithmancy Alcove” and Cassie for compiling years of listener data on Hogwarts’ best and worst teachers.
• Critical Approach: Establishes that loving Harry Potter and being critical are not mutually exclusive; fans are encouraged to examine both the smile- and pause-inducing aspects of the series.

Quote:
“Because loving something...doesn’t mean we can’t be critical of it.” — Prof. Wamble (00:57)

2. Defining ‘Good Teacher’ — Two Key Dimensions

[32:01–46:57, 71:13–92:55]

• Learning Outcomes: Did students gain skills and knowledge?
• Environment & Pedagogy: How did teachers treat students while they were learning?
• These two axes frequently diverge at Hogwarts, especially in high-stakes or “dark” classrooms.
• Effectiveness and care are not the same; Hogwarts (and often the fandom) treats them as interchangeable.

Quote:
"Effectiveness and care are not the same thing. And Hogwarts often treats them as interchangeable." — Prof. Wamble (71:48)

3. The Best Teachers at Hogwarts

[14:29–29:27]

Survey Results – % of listeners who judged each as a “good teacher”:

1. Remus Lupin (93%)
   • “He actually taught them things they could use and didn’t humiliate them in the process. It feels like the bar is so low.” — Listener Quote (15:33)
   • Lupin adapts to student needs, shows compassion, and brings personal experience—being “the subject of the subject he is teaching.”
2. Minerva McGonagall (92%)
   • “Her teaching style is strict but fair. She expects excellence, but she also teaches you how to reach it.” — Listener Quote (17:12)
   • Balances expertise, high expectations, and care. Structure and strictness are present, but intimidation is never cruel.
3. Barty Crouch Jr. (‘Mad-Eye Moody’) (63%)
   • “It’s uncomfortable to admit, but as a teacher, he was prepared, engaged, and actually taught practical skills that students remembered.” — Listener Quote (19:14)

Prof. Wamble’s Analysis:

• Passion for the subject is their connective tissue.
• Lived experience informs their pedagogy (especially Lupin and Crouch Jr).
• Comparing to lived experience as a Black professor: lived realities inform but shouldn’t bias pedagogy.

Quote:
“He is the subject of the subject he is teaching.” — Prof. Wamble on Lupin (22:44)

4. The Worst Teachers at Hogwarts

[32:01–46:57]

Survey Results – % who judged each as “not a good teacher”:

1. Gilderoy Lockhart (99.1%)
   • “He did not teach them anything. Every class was about himself and his stories, and the students learned absolutely nothing.” — Listener Quote (32:16)
2. Dolores Umbridge (97%)
   • “Umbridge was not interested in teaching. She was interested in control. Her classroom was about obedience, not learning.”— Listener Quote (34:50)
3. Severus Snape (79%)
   • “Snape knows the subject matter, but knowledge does not make someone a good teacher. He routinely humiliates students and creates an environment where learning is actively discouraged.” — Listener Quote (36:12)

Prof. Wamble’s Analysis:

• Core uniter: They do not care about the students.
• “Their problems are everybody’s problems”—self-absorption and trauma weaponized against learners.
• The classroom environment is vital: “It feels like survival rather than learning.”

Quote:
“Teaching is not about exercising your past. It’s about helping someone else figure out their future.” — Prof. Wamble (73:41)

5. Deep Dive: Defense Against the Dark Arts — Pedagogical Themes

[46:57–71:13]

Best DADA Teachers:

• Remus Lupin: Compassion, adaptability, learning alongside students.
• Barty Crouch Jr.: Practical, immersive, but teaching is driven by trauma and conviction.
• Severus Snape: Content mastery but uses cruelty instead of care — lands him on both Best and Worst lists.

Worst DADA Teachers:

• Gilderoy Lockhart: Treats DADA as performance & branding, not real preparation.
• Dolores Umbridge: Pedagogy of denial and obedience; institutionalizes erasure of danger.
• Severus Snape: Substitutes humiliation for rigor. Prepares students through fear rather than guidance.

Quote:
“Remus turns fear into empathy, Barty turns it into weaponization, and Snape turns it into control.” — Prof. Wamble (58:36)
“Learning that happens through degradation is still learning. It’s just not education.” — Prof. Wamble (67:20)

6. Reflections: What Does It Mean to Be a Good Teacher at Hogwarts?

[71:13–92:55]

• Centering the Quiet Heroes: Teachers like Flitwick (charms), Sprout (herbology), and Pomfrey (healing) are highlighted for creating rigorous, nurturing environments without centering their own trauma or needs.
  • “The teachers who do the best at Hogwarts are the ones who have found ways to contain themselves. They don’t ask students to absorb their unresolved trauma.”
• Dangers of the Hogwarts Model: Most teachers aren’t formally trained; no evidence of pedagogy or institutional support.
• Broader Lesson: All of us are teachers to someone, consciously or not. Critical thinking is key to responsible teaching, whether in a classroom or daily life.
• Quote on the Real Magic:
  “The real magic isn’t spells. It’s the willingness to stay curious, to stay honest, to stay critical, even when it’s uncomfortable.” — Prof. Wamble (87:37)

Memorable Reflection:
“What we don’t deal with gets passed down. What we don’t interrogate becomes curriculum, and what we don’t heal gets reenacted.” — Prof. Wamble (86:23)

• Call to Action:
  “Remember that what you pass on matters. And I hope you keep asking questions, because more than anything else, that’s how we build worlds worth living in.” — Prof. Wamble (90:18)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “He explains things clearly, he’s patient, and doesn’t let his authority become a weapon.” — Listener on Lupin (16:19)
• “She makes the classroom feel structured and safe, even when she’s intimidating. It’s never cruel.” — Listener on McGonagall (18:02)
• “Snape teaches through fear, not guidance. Even when students succeed, it feels like survival rather than learning.” — Listener (37:28)
• “You can’t teach students to defend themselves against something that you refuse to recognize as being legitimate.” — Prof. Wamble (63:33)

Episode Structure & Engagement

• Welcomes, Thanks, Community Shoutouts (01:30–07:49)
• Listener Survey Data: Best Teachers (14:29–29:27)
• Listener Survey Data: Worst Teachers (32:01–46:57)
• Defense Against the Dark Arts: Best & Worst (46:57–71:13)
• Broader Reflections: What Makes a Good Teacher? (71:13–92:55)
• Closing Thoughts: Critical Thinking as Magic (87:15–92:55)

Summary Takeaways

• The best teachers at Hogwarts exhibit passion, adaptability, and genuine care—not just subject mastery.
• The worst fail through self-absorption, lack of investment, and using classrooms to process personal trauma or wield authority harmfully.
• “Effectiveness” alone is not sufficient—how students are treated and the environment created matter just as much.
• Secondary characters like Flitwick, Sprout, and Pomfrey embody overlooked but deeply impactful pedagogical models.
• All listeners—and people—are always teaching in some way; being “critical and magical” is a call to thoughtful, responsible engagement with both fantasy and the real world.

Host’s Sign-Off

“Be critical and stay magical, my friends.” — Prof. Julian Wamble (92:55)

This episode is an essential listen for anyone interested in the intersection of fantasy storytelling, teaching, and critical analysis. It models how loving a story—and a world—means holding space for its flaws, complexities, and surprising truths.