CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley (Full Version)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry – CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley

Introduction

In this exhilarating episode of Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry, hosted by Geek & Sundry, the spotlight shines on a special one-shot adventure titled CelebriD&D featuring John Bradley, renowned for his role as Samwell Tarly in Game of Thrones. Joining John Bradley are seasoned cast members Jessica Chobot, Liam O'Brien, and Laura Bailey, under the guidance of gamemaster Amy Vorpahl. This episode, released on December 9, 2024, showcases an intense and immersive tabletop role-playing experience filled with strategy, combat, and camaraderie.

Setting the Scene

The adventure begins with Mankum, the Bardic gnome played by John Bradley, and his companions waking up bound in a tent within a cavernous dungeon. Their usual evil necromancer master has mysteriously vanished, leaving three monstrous minions in charge. The players quickly realize they must navigate their captivity and devise a plan to escape.

Character Introductions and Initial Tensions ([04:21] - [05:14])

• Jessica Chobot introduces herself as Dietrich, a Tiefling Warlock grappling with her demonic powers but determined to unleash her wrath when necessary.

  Jessica Chobot (Dietrich): "When the S hits the fan and the darkness sets, she is on fire and will kill everyone."

• Liam O'Brien portrays Vax Ildan, a half-elf rogue with a rough demeanor but deep loyalty to his twin sister.

  Liam O'Brien (Vax): "He's a bit of a shithead, but he would do anything for his twin sister."

• Laura Bailey takes on the role of Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger, who shares a close bond with Vax.

  Laura Bailey (Vex'ahlia): "Twin sister to Vax'ildan, who is unfortunately not as cool."

• John Bradley embodies Dupont Dupont, a dwarven rogue driven by greed and the allure of coin.

  John Bradley (Dupont): "If there's coin to be had, I'll be there. Cha Ching."

The initial interactions reveal underlying tensions and conflicting motivations among the characters, setting the stage for dynamic role-playing and strategic cooperation.

Formulating an Escape Plan ([07:12] - [16:21])

As the group assesses their predicament, Vex'ahlia successfully frees herself by skillfully using her teeth to manipulate the bindings ([06:44] - [07:12]). The players quickly shift focus to locating their imp companion, Pbh, which adds a layer of urgency to their escape strategy.

Jessica Chobot (Dietrich): "Good. Do I have my imp with me at all?"

Their escape plan involves disguising themselves as orc guards to deceive their captors. Dietrich utilizes her Disguise Self ability to transform her appearance, enabling the group to blend in and navigate past the guards undetected.

Throughout this phase, the players demonstrate impressive teamwork and creativity, leveraging their characters' unique abilities to overcome the constraints of their captivity.

Confronting the Orcs and the Cyclops ([26:38] - [43:28])

The group engages in a series of intense combat encounters with orcish guards and a formidable Cyclops. Notable moments include:

• Dietrich casting spells to create distractions and weaken their foes, such as the Stinking Cloud, which effectively incapacitates several orcs ([25:34] - [26:38]).

  Jessica Chobot (Dietrich): "That is pure methane."

• Vex'ahlia employs her archery skills, using Lightning Arrow to dismantle a chasing orc, demonstrating precision and tactical prowess ([28:14] - [42:09]).

  Laura Bailey (Vex'ahlia): "That's awesome."

• Liam O'Brien performs swift and lethal strikes as Vax Ildan, taking down orcs with his daggers and chamazing his actions for maximum effect ([49:13] - [66:50]).

  Liam O'Brien (Vax): "That's a hit."

A critical turning point occurs when they face a Cyclops, a towering and relentless adversary. The battle is fiercely contested, showcasing the players' ability to adapt under pressure:

Laura Bailey (Vex'ahlia): "I'm guilty for this."

John Bradley (Dupont): "Perfect."

Despite the Cyclops' brute strength, the group's coordinated attacks and clever use of spells eventually overpower the beast, allowing them to continue their escape.

Escaping the Cavern ([66:50] - [70:03])

With the Cyclops defeated and the immediate threat neutralized, the adventurers make a desperate bid for freedom. They navigate through the cavern's labyrinthine tunnels, confronting additional challenges and making quick decisions to ensure their survival. Key moments include:

• Dupont healing Dietrich after she sustains significant damage from the Cyclops' attack, highlighting the group's reliance on each other for survival.

  John Bradley (Dupont): "Can I inspire Dupont?"

• The characters utilize both stealth and brute force to outmaneuver remaining orc threats, employing tactics like distraction and direct assault to secure their passage towards daylight.

John Bradley (Dupont): "That's so sweet."

Liam O'Brien (Vax): "Time to go."

Conclusion and Reflections ([70:03] - [70:54])

Emerging from the cavern into the daylight, the players find themselves free but bearing the scars of their harrowing ordeal. The successful escape, though marked by losses and injuries, solidifies their bond and sets the stage for future adventures.

Laura Bailey (Vex'ahlia): "We've got all these rings."

John Bradley (Dupont): "Absolutely blinged out."

Liam O'Brien (Vax): "We got one left and two left."

The episode concludes with the players expressing gratitude and satisfaction over their collaborative efforts, emphasizing the joy and excitement inherent in shared storytelling.

John Bradley: "Thank you so much for having me."

Notable Quotes

• John Bradley (Dupont): "If there's coin to be had, I'll be there. Cha Ching." ([05:02])
• Jessica Chobot (Dietrich): "When the S hits the fan and the darkness sets, she is on fire and will kill everyone." ([04:21])
• Laura Bailey (Vex'ahlia): "That's awesome." ([08:07])
• Liam O'Brien (Vax): "Time to go." ([66:50])

Final Thoughts

This episode of Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry offers a captivating journey into the world of tabletop role-playing, showcasing the talents of a stellar cast led by John Bradley. The blend of strategic planning, character development, and dynamic combat sequences provides both entertainment and inspiration for RPG enthusiasts and newcomers alike. The seamless integration of humor, tension, and triumphant moments underscores the magic of collaborative storytelling that Critical Role fans have come to love.

---

Note: Timestamps correspond to the transcript provided and are approximate.

Transcript

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[Advertiser 2]

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[Advertiser 3]

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[Advertiser 2]

Greetings travelers. Did you know that this year marks the 50th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons? Well, to celebrate passing our collective history check, we're making some of our favorite deal adventures available as podcasts for the very first time. As always, you can find video versions of these adventures on YouTube.com geekandsundry but also make a perception check because we might have some other fun surprises coming down the pipeline. And I'm not talking about gelatinous cubes, I hope.

[John Bradley]

Hi, I'm John Bradley. I play Samwell Tarly in Game of Thrones. And in this game I'm gonna be playing Mankum, the Bardic gnome. I'm great and I know it.

[Liam O'Brien]

Another modern folk hero enters our realm of adventure in Celebridity.

[Advertiser 1]

When traversing the open road of the Black Valley path from Joran village to Westruun. It's best to travel in numbers. If those numbers are large enough, that is, for not two days. Travel with the caravan southward. The sounds of war drums and savage battle cries suddenly fill the air. Hired guards encircle the patrons, only to be cut down by a hooked blade and poisoned arrows. Ravagers, the scattered orc raiding band bear down on you and your traveling companions. You fight to the best of your ability, harnessing the fight side of your fight or flight. But the orc numbers are overwhelming. You hear a terrible roar, a deep resonant bellow in the distance behind you. You turn to see. Whack. A sharp pain in the back of your skull. Then darkness. Time passes. An almost infinite seeming period of time without thought. Dreams. Groggily. You find yourselves awakening, your body sore and stiff. You instinctually tug and pull and you find your wrists and ankles bound by ragged dry rope that scrapes against the exterior of your skin. As you try and tug against it, your eyes slowly widen and the small flickers of firelight that enter this medium sized tent seemingly covered from a night based exterior. You see piles of spoils, jewelry and dried meats and appears to be a number of other individuals that are not moving. You glance around to see five others who are also finding consciousness and seemingly in the same level of pained life that you're currently finding yourselves in. You begin to rouse quietly, acknowledging with eyesight who is around you and awake. So, going around the table, would you like to describe your character? Introduce yourself.

[Jessica Chobot]

Hi, my name is Jessica Chobot. I am playing a Tiefling warlock by the name of Dietrich, who's a little bit of a noob to her demonic powers. But when S hits the fan and the darkness sets, she is on fire and will kill everyone.

[Liam O'Brien]

My name is Liam O'Brien. I play Vax Ildan, the half elf rogue. He's a bit of a shithead, but he would do anything for his twin sister.

[Laura Bailey]

Hi, I'm Laura Bailey. I'm playing Vex'ahlia, the half elf ranger. Twin sister to Vax'ildan, who is unfortunately not as cool.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm Dan Casey. Today I'm playing the dwarven rogue Dupont Dupont. If there's coin to be had, I'll be there. Cha Ching.

[Advertiser 1]

The sixth person in the group you now see is a human male with light purple skin and a set of short sharpened horns akin to yor blood lineage.

[Jessica Chobot]

That's real sweet horns by the way, y'all.

[Laura Bailey]

Taiyi.

[Advertiser 1]

Hint of demonic blood in the back History. His sharpened horns protrude from the back of his head, curling upward ever so slightly. And as you guys are all muttering to yourselves, getting a feel for who's nearby, he spits a bit of blood on the ground. It's about time you lot woke up. Welcome to your final day. And he struggles against the bonds a bit. Well, I guess if we're doing introductions, my name is Hubris. Make a joke and I'll piss in your wounds. Jesus.

[Advertiser 2]

Good luck doing that when you tied up.

[Advertiser 1]

Now speak for yourself. You can't avoid me. I got good range.

[Advertiser 2]

Oh, no.

[Jessica Chobot]

Oh God, please let there be a pissing match.

[Laura Bailey]

Literally, literal pissing.

[Advertiser 1]

At which point you hear suddenly a voice go, shut up in there. Lay down or I'll get you like a fish. And from the flaps of the outside of the tent, you watch. I see burly chested, dark, purplish blue muscle bound orc curls in his lower jaw, protruding with these two large tusks, one broken at the tip, and these piercing yellow eyes as he comes in and sneers, only you, foes, little one. Slams the flap shut and then walks back out to take guard outside of the tent.

[Liam O'Brien]

What an asshole. Do we have anything on us or.

[Advertiser 1]

Are we stripped bare of our. You have your armor on you, but you have no weapons on you.

[Advertiser 2]

And our hands are bound.

[Advertiser 1]

Your hands are currently bound by rope. Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

Are they connected to our feet or can we get.

[Advertiser 1]

They're not connected to your feet, they're separate. All right.

[Laura Bailey]

And I'm gonna.

[Advertiser 1]

You gonna try and bite through?

[Laura Bailey]

I'm gonna, like, try to, like, get the rope. I'm not gonna try to either. I'm gonna try to like, you know, get the knots with my teeth.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, make an acrobatics check to see if you can slip three of the bindings. Tooth acrobatics.

[Laura Bailey]

Tooth acrobatics check. That would be a 19.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so as you guys watch as she kind of gets her teeth in, tugs, and as she does, she moves her hands around, eventually finally getting a little bit of slack, slips one hand out, pulls the other free, and begins going for her ankle bindings. And she is now free.

[Jessica Chobot]

Sweet. Do I have my imp with me at all? Did he hide or is he with them as well as the bear?

[Advertiser 1]

Well, you don't sense him immediately around you at the moment. Do you want to call out to him?

[Jessica Chobot]

Yeah, let's call out.

[Laura Bailey]

Bring out.

[Jessica Chobot]

Let see if he's around. Bring out the imp.

[Advertiser 1]

Hubris.

[Liam O'Brien]

Fetch the imp.

[Advertiser 1]

So as you call out and what's his name.

[Jessica Chobot]

It's pbh.

[Advertiser 1]

Pbh.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay, listen. If you guys guess his name, then he disappears. But right now.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. So as you say, pbh, you see a flash up in the back of the tent on what looks like a pile of refuse.

[John Bradley]

Yes.

[Advertiser 1]

Yes, mistress. This small red skinned imp with these leathery wings, maybe about a foot tall, is just perched there. His eyes wide. He looks a little nervous. And he. He's shaking like a chihuahua. He's kind of like a lap dog from Hollywood of an animal. Chihuahuas.

[Jessica Chobot]

God damn it. Pbh. Come here and untie me.

[Advertiser 1]

Hurry up, Larry. Bud lands you and starts gnawing at the ropes. I'll say go and make an acrobatics check with advantage. He's helping you. One more take higher. The 2. 5 and a 5. 5 and a 5. It's gonna take you a while, so you're working on it. What are you doing? Okay, so you're taking off his bindings. You guys get that? All right, so, Mancombe, what are you doing?

[John Bradley]

I'm gonna use my powers of persuasion to convince these guys that I. That I am worth releasing.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. Which one do you talk to?

[John Bradley]

I'm gonna try and persuade Victoria that I am so key and essential to the. To this. I am so key and essentials to this team.

[Laura Bailey]

You are.

[John Bradley]

You're in serious trouble if I don't get free. I. I'm physically not able to free myself. But if you let me free, Believe me, you know what I can do. You know what I bring to the table. It's a lot of stuff you don't want to be without me. Really? Please.

[Laura Bailey]

I actually do know quite a few gnomes.

[John Bradley]

Yeah, but not like this one.

[Laura Bailey]

No, no. They're all invaluable. All the ones I've met.

[John Bradley]

Oh, well, you're gonna have to take a leap of faith here, I'm afraid. Please, take a leap of faith.

[Advertiser 1]

Go ahead and make a persuasion check, then add your persuasion skill bonus to it.

[John Bradley]

Okay. What's that?

[Advertiser 1]

It's a nine.

[John Bradley]

Nine plus seven. So 16.

[Advertiser 1]

16. So he's pretty persuasive. He's got a gleam in his smile and a twinkle in his eye. And through your experience with gnomes, which have been everywhere from shifty to somewhat trustworthy, seems a more of the trustworthy sort.

[Laura Bailey]

All right. I send my brother to release Dupont. Dupont, who I've worked with before. Don't worry.

[Advertiser 1]

I'd like to try to wriggle acrobatics.

[Laura Bailey]

Come start working on your binding.

[Advertiser 2]

I rolled a one. Oh, Boy, my feet are somehow tucked.

[Advertiser 1]

So as Vex comes over to you and begins taking your bindings free. And eventually you get your hands free and rub your wrists to escape the moment Vax, you start walking over to Dupont. Dupont, who in the process is like, nope, I got this. And is getting himself somewhat more tied into.

[Advertiser 2]

We're all rogues here.

[Liam O'Brien]

No, keep going, you're doing great.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm a master of ropes.

[Liam O'Brien]

You keep doing that. I'm going to look forward for our weapons. Do we see any blades making a mistake? Yeah. Ooh. 25.

[Advertiser 1]

25. You begin to glance through and move about and you're feeling the ground around here. It's not grassy, it's not anything soft. It is a hard bit of dirt on stone. But as you pull through, most of the things that you find in the tent around you are bits of scavenged jewelry, small boxes, things that were obviously taken from the caravan that was attacked, some of it taking damage in the process. No weaponry.

[Laura Bailey]

Start grabbing jewelry and just start pocketing it.

[Jessica Chobot]

I see that and I'm like, good idea. Am I untied yet? Because I want to grab some jewelry too.

[Advertiser 1]

You are about now, yes.

[Liam O'Brien]

Anything as simple as a letter opener or a butter knife.

[Advertiser 1]

Nothing like that. Nothing.

[Liam O'Brien]

All right, well, I'll do it the hard way. I'm going to start helping him get his ropes off.

[Advertiser 1]

Lankan, what are you doing?

[John Bradley]

Is there anything that we can use as a disguise at all? Anything we can use to camouflage any shrubbery, any kind of greenery?

[Advertiser 1]

No shrubbery at the moment, but in the piles of materials that have been put here, there are a lot of pieces of sackcloth and burlap and some scraps of clothing and things that were probably things to be sold when it got to its destination. You do find some nice silk shirts.

[John Bradley]

But they're surely gonna be useful, right, if we're gonna try and kind of disguise ourselves, change our identity slightly, possibly, yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

So you wanna go ahead and grab some of the materials?

[John Bradley]

Yeah, I'll do that.

[Advertiser 1]

All right.

[Jessica Chobot]

Can I use this as well then?

[Advertiser 1]

You can. You actually have the disguise self ability. So.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay, well then, yeah, I'm just gonna into. Into whatever that thing was that stuck his face into the tent.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. You watch as her exterior now shifts into that same dark grayish skinned orc creature that came in through the tent and yelled at you earlier. Her muscles expand visually, her jaw gets a little more monstrous, her teeth extend a bit and her eyes go a bit piercing yellow. So she. Now get your jewelry and let's Go.

[Advertiser 2]

I put the lotion in the basket.

[Advertiser 1]

Put the lotion in the basket.

[Laura Bailey]

So are we disguising ourselves to be different people and you're gonna, what, walk us out of here?

[Jessica Chobot]

Oh, that's a. I'm glad you're smart. Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's do that.

[Laura Bailey]

All right. So we should be bound still. Well.

[Jessica Chobot]

Yeah, I guess, but I don't want to actually tie. Tie you guys up. Just wrap it around here.

[Laura Bailey]

Just loosely put the rope around our wrist that we can bust out of really quickly if we need to.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm gonna sneak over to the tent flap and just crack it and see what I can see through little sliver there.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. Make a perception check.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, hey, I'll use luck because I still have it.

[Laura Bailey]

Much better.

[Liam O'Brien]

Perception. You say 20.

[Advertiser 1]

All right. So you come up alongside Vax, and you both peer outside of the tent. You both visually see, standing maybe two feet out from the front, that same bulky, brutish fellow that's been guarding the exterior of this tent since you woke up here. You see a bonfire about eight feet beyond him. When the flames are flickering and burning and the smoke's billowing up and filling a ceiling. At this point, you notice the darkness isn't from nightfall, but it appears to be that you're in some sort of a cavern network. Who knows how deep into whatever rock or mountain you found yourself. You do notice that there are a number of large tree trunks that have been shaven and set up to form a spit. And there is meat cooking on it. And it takes you a moment to realize that the meat resembles the shape of an odd arm and a leg.

[Laura Bailey]

Arf.

[Advertiser 1]

Humanoid. You also see about three other Orcish figures that are patrolling around and walking, grunting to each other in a language you don't understand. This place seems to be somewhat defended and armed. You do see a tent across the other side of the fire that has another guard facing out, who currently has a blade on his side and is just scratching himself and looking like he's bored and frustrated.

[Liam O'Brien]

No weapons anywhere else in this space.

[Advertiser 1]

Not visibly out. There's just one on the orb. There's the tent across the way.

[Liam O'Brien]

Shite.

[Laura Bailey]

They've got stuff.

[Jessica Chobot]

Here's a proposition. I roll out looking like I'm taking you guys with me to go to the cook for slaughter. And then once I get you outside the tent, we run as fast as humanly possible.

[Laura Bailey]

But our weapons.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm also pretty stealthy.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm also pretty stealthy and I can cast. Cast Without a trace on all of us, which potentially could make us even more stealthy. It is rather dark in here. If we sneak out the back. We may not have to do that.

[Liam O'Brien]

Orcs aren't always the brightest either, but I think they know vaguely how many of us there are in here.

[Laura Bailey]

If the back of the tent. Not where the flap is. But is there anything behind us? Does it sound like there's more clap behind us?

[Advertiser 1]

You push and there's a little bit of give to the backside of the tent, but it hits stone. It looks like this tent is propped against the back of the cavern wall.

[Advertiser 2]

What else is in the tent that we're in? Apart from.

[Advertiser 1]

You mentioned some jewelry. There's piles of jewelry. There's piles of scavenged boxes and clothing and pieces of wagon wheels and whatever seemed to have been pulled off of the caravan and thrown haphazardly in a corner to suss out later.

[Advertiser 2]

Is there enough, and hear me out. Is there enough that we could stuff jewelry or something inside the clothing and then put the ropes on these dummies and make them think we're still in here while we sneak out?

[Jessica Chobot]

That's impressive.

[John Bradley]

That is pretty impressive.

[Advertiser 1]

That's a lot of work.

[Liam O'Brien]

You want to make five sackboys?

[Advertiser 2]

Yes, just some casual mannequins.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, who wants to helm this endeavor?

[Jessica Chobot]

I'm passing.

[Advertiser 2]

Just an idea. I'm also open to just sneaking away.

[Laura Bailey]

What if we lure the guard inside and then jump him when he gets in? I mean, it's all of us against one.

[Jessica Chobot]

I can still do that with my disguise. Disguise and be like, hey, come help.

[Advertiser 1]

Me with the prisoners.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. They're stupid, right?

[Jessica Chobot]

Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Are these guards rich men?

[Advertiser 1]

They are. They are ravaging barbarians. Whatever they're wearing on them seems to be piecemeal leather, armor, metal weapons that have been scavenged or forged in some very crude way to be hooked and nasty looking.

[John Bradley]

So they're not men who'd have their heads turned by the promise of some jewelry?

[Advertiser 1]

Probably not.

[Advertiser 2]

They're rich with us meat.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Oh, I see.

[Advertiser 1]

They want to be you.

[John Bradley]

Well, I don't want that, so let's. Come on.

[Laura Bailey]

I say we.

[Jessica Chobot]

I say we go for your idea.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. I say we lure him inside, we grab one of the bags the minute he's inside, throw a bag over his head, and all of us just start.

[Jessica Chobot]

Oh, we got jewelry. Is there any, like, candlesticks or something we can beat him over the head with?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Are there any clay pots or anything holding other things in here?

[Jessica Chobot]

You say we Got wagon wheels. Anybody strong enough to lift up a wagon wheel and smash this guy in the face?

[Laura Bailey]

We're all pretty fucking weak.

[Liam O'Brien]

Dupont looks evil.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm sturdy.

[John Bradley]

But there's jewelry, right? So we can slip rings on our fingers. That's when we flick more.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, yeah. Brass knuckles, gold knuckles, gold knuckle dusters.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

All right, let's do that.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so I will say make an investigation check. Make an investigation check to see how many rings you can scavenge from a pile.

[John Bradley]

Okay.

[Jessica Chobot]

Smart.

[Laura Bailey]

Ooh.

[Advertiser 1]

So 8.

[John Bradley]

12. 12.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, 21.

[Advertiser 1]

21. Okay, between the two of you guys, you managed to pull out. Some are more just decorative, but some thick, heavy iron rings. Blacksmith, it seemed between the two of you, you get some decent knuckle duster, makeshift weaponry for you.

[John Bradley]

Fantastic.

[Advertiser 1]

Cool. All right.

[Jessica Chobot]

All right. Let me know when you guys want to do this.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm going to wait and. Am I bludgeoning him? Am I taking this sack and trying to strangle him? What am I doing?

[Liam O'Brien]

I am and assassin by trade. So if you pull a sack over his head and I take a wagon wheel, I will club the shit out of him.

[Advertiser 1]

Oh, perfect. Yeah.

[Advertiser 2]

Classic assassination technique.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so good to go. Everyone ready?

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, yeah. So that's all. But we have to, like, look like we're still, you know.

[Advertiser 1]

If you have any spells that would be useful for this, feel free to look at them now. Get an idea of what you can do. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[John Bradley]

Good call.

[Laura Bailey]

Wait.

[Advertiser 1]

This is a preparation method. As you glance over what you have at your disposal.

[Laura Bailey]

What if these hands. What if I cast spike growth inside the tent? And then when he walks in, he'll be hurt instantly because, well, that'll earn him.

[Jessica Chobot]

Too soon for you guys to do your stuff?

[Laura Bailey]

Possibly, but it was a cool spell.

[Jessica Chobot]

I like where your head's at, but.

[Advertiser 2]

Think of how sick that would look.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Dupont, you and I flank the door. You got the sack, I got the wheel. As soon as he walks in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

[Advertiser 1]

All right.

[Jessica Chobot]

Yeah, I got you.

[Laura Bailey]

And I will lay on the ground, maybe, and still look like we're bound. So it looks like.

[John Bradley]

Okay, perfect. Yeah, I like it. Or maybe, maybe. Stinking cloud. As soon as he comes in, stinking cloud. Disorientation.

[Advertiser 1]

It's a big area, too.

[Jessica Chobot]

Will that hurt us as well, though?

[Advertiser 2]

Will we get caught in the stank?

[John Bradley]

Yeah, but we're prepared for it, though, so we can maybe, like, hold our.

[Advertiser 1]

Rounds and mountains up maybe? Yeah, the singing cloud is also a big area.

[John Bradley]

Oh, yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

So if you wanted to use that, you could hit the guy outside and all the other orcs in the minute.

[Laura Bailey]

You jump in, then you, like, do it outside.

[Advertiser 1]

So something to consider. Oh, yeah.

[John Bradley]

Perfect. Yeah. Okay.

[Jessica Chobot]

That's your power as a gigantic fart, basically.

[John Bradley]

Don't underestimate the power of this.

[Advertiser 2]

Cleared the caverns.

[John Bradley]

All right, so are we ready to do this?

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. Oh, God, oh God, oh God. Okay, I'm gonna lay down on the ground. I'm gonna lie down on the ground, you know, weaken.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so you guys are feigning.

[John Bradley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feigning.

[Jessica Chobot]

Struggle casual though.

[Advertiser 1]

All right.

[Jessica Chobot]

Like, I don't want him to get too much of an idea, so I just quickly lift up the tent flap and like just the face. And I'm like, hey, come here and.

[Laura Bailey]

Help me with these prisoners.

[Jessica Chobot]

They're pain in my ass.

[John Bradley]

Nice.

[Advertiser 1]

As you glance out at him, he turns around, whips around and pulls a short sword from the side goes roll. A deception check.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, God, please roll.

[Jessica Chobot]

Well, which one?

[Advertiser 2]

Don't worry, we've got an emergency fart.

[Jessica Chobot]

No whammies.

[Laura Bailey]

No whammies, no whammy.

[Liam O'Brien]

Natural tornadoes.

[Advertiser 1]

Everyone needs an emergency just in case.

[John Bradley]

Oh, God, yes.

[Advertiser 1]

All right.

[John Bradley]

Fantastic.

[Advertiser 1]

As the flap closes, the orc dumb little folk comes into the side of the tent. Which one?

[Advertiser 2]

I make with the sack.

[Advertiser 1]

Sack? Sack. Em boys, make an attack roll. Oh, just add your dexterity modifier to it.

[Advertiser 2]

11.

[Advertiser 1]

11. As soon as you leap with the sack, his battle sight kicks in. He pulls up and grabs your wrist and throws you to the ground. The sack completely misses.

[John Bradley]

Oh, no.

[Advertiser 1]

You going to a strike him?

[John Bradley]

Yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so yeah, as you're going to swing with him with the improvised weapon, go ahead and roll for an attack with it using your dexterity modifier. There's no bonus beyond that. Cause you're not proficient with improvised weapon. Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

Ooh, that's not good. But that's all right.

[Laura Bailey]

That's good. That's good.

[Liam O'Brien]

No bonus at all. So it's a 15.

[Advertiser 1]

It's a 15 that does hit. So go ahead and roll 1d4. And yeah, he just takes 1d4 damage.

[Liam O'Brien]

Is it a sneak attack? Does sneak attack through a wheel.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, great.

[Liam O'Brien]

So that's three down.

[Advertiser 2]

No one expects a wheel.

[Liam O'Brien]

And if I'm hidden, Am I hidden? If I'm hidden, it's an automatical crit.

[John Bradley]

Right?

[Advertiser 1]

He's well aware now that you're hidden. All right.

[Liam O'Brien]

Clang. Five, nine. Total of a 14.

[Advertiser 1]

A 14. All right, so as he side Steps Dupont and throws him to the ground. The dwarf hits the dirt. Suddenly Vax turns around and slaps him like baseball style to the chin and just kicks him in the stomach. And you go falling back against the wall, the two of you.

[Laura Bailey]

Now we jump up and attack his legs.

[John Bradley]

Yeah, now we jump up and attack him.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so you leap up, I.

[Laura Bailey]

Punch him in his nuts.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, she goes for the nuts. What are you going for?

[John Bradley]

I'm gonna use my acrobatics.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[John Bradley]

Climb up his body, get on his back, and go for the neck tire.

[Advertiser 1]

Roll an acrobatics check.

[John Bradley]

Go for the neck on the throat, Scrappy. Okay, eight plus three and seven. Seven.

[Advertiser 1]

So you climb partway up, and you can't quite get to the neck, but there's still, like, some decent midsection there to punch for if you want to.

[Jessica Chobot]

Hit him in the kidneys.

[Advertiser 1]

So both of you guys go roll an attack roll. So roll another D20.

[John Bradley]

Yep.

[Advertiser 1]

And then add your strength modifier, which is.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, no, I add strength.

[Advertiser 1]

Yep.

[Liam O'Brien]

Roll high.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, well, that's okay.

[John Bradley]

Five in total, So I do. No. Good to know, But I'm such a dead waste.

[Laura Bailey]

Wait, which dice are you rolling? Cause that one needs to not happen anymore.

[Advertiser 1]

So as you. As you punch a few times in the stomach. This orc must be doing some peanut X. Pretty tough abs on there. You're not quick getting through. Laura, you go ahead. And you, however, do get a punch off there. So you hit. Add your strength, amount of fire, Just one damage. Add your strength, amount of fire.

[Laura Bailey]

Negative two.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so you do one point of damage.

[Laura Bailey]

But it's in his nuts, man.

[Advertiser 1]

It isn't as nuts.

[Jessica Chobot]

That is true. I mean, even when you lightly graze them, I feel like maybe orknots aren't.

[Laura Bailey]

In the same place.

[Liam O'Brien]

They're super calloused, though.

[Advertiser 1]

That's okay. Yeah. That one hit point of damage was all that he really needed.

[Advertiser 2]

Really been working out.

[Advertiser 1]

So as you guys pummel him in the stomach, it kind of loosens him up as you get down and whack hit him right in the orknards, and he crumbles to the ground. And hubris, the other tiefling fowl just kind of runs up and kicks in the side of the head.

[Advertiser 2]

I helped the double tap.

[Laura Bailey]

I forgot hubris was in here.

[Jessica Chobot]

I'm giggling my ass off right now.

[Advertiser 1]

And so is your rim.

[John Bradley]

At this point. Is he down now? Is he.

[Advertiser 1]

He's unconscious on the ground.

[John Bradley]

Okay, can I use my medicinal skills to try and help Dupont, who Still.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Bradley]

What kind of state is he in from that attack?

[Advertiser 1]

Is he recovered? Bit bruising the phase.

[Advertiser 2]

Flush with embarrassment.

[John Bradley]

Oh, Rock. If he's only embarrassment.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. You turn him over and he looks very embarrassed. But not too hurt so far.

[John Bradley]

Oh, I was worried that he was kind of moulding.

[Advertiser 1]

Not yet. Not yet. However, as you go and inspect him near the edge of the tent, you can hear what sounds like a few voices. Go.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, man.

[Advertiser 1]

And you hear footsteps coming your direction from the end.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay. I peek my head out again. Everything's fine.

[Laura Bailey]

Fuck off, man.

[Advertiser 1]

Come.

[Liam O'Brien]

Do you have that fart ready?

[Laura Bailey]

Hurry, get the fart.

[Advertiser 1]

Always ready. Make a decision. Always ready with disadvantage. So roll twice and take the lower. No. Oh, no.

[Jessica Chobot]

Thirteen plus deception.

[Advertiser 2]

I think it's four.

[Advertiser 1]

Four. As soon as your face shows up and you see that and shut it, you hear a voice go crot. Keith. You hear blades being unsheathed.

[John Bradley]

No, no, no. Fall now. Fall, fall, fall, fall, fall. Stinking cloud. Yeah, stinking cloud. 20 foot radius, sphere of yellow, nauseating gas.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Sounds like just what we need, right?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. So as she pulls away, you push the flap open and release your hands. The incantation leaves your lips and suddenly, as these two orcs that are lumbering towards you around the campfire, the entire space in the center between this tent and the opposite side fills with this green noxious gas, this hint of yellow, the interior of it ignites from the flame in the middle of the bonfire and detonates briefly sending the two orcs rolling about 5ft to each side. Let me see if they make their saving throws.

[Liam O'Brien]

Pure methane.

[Jessica Chobot]

That's awesome.

[Advertiser 1]

Spell DC is 15. No, neither of them make it. And the other guard on the other side doesn't make it either. So what happens here is after you hear this dull detonation that echoes through the cavern, so you get the sense that there is a bit of a tension coming your direction relatively soon. But at the moment, the three orcs that are immediately around the area are on the ground right now, clutching their stomachs and they're just retching. One of them starts vomiting the side. The two are on the ground going. There's no immediate threat and if you wanted to, you could rush around the exterior of the cloud to the other tent.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

[John Bradley]

Perfect. Let's do that.

[Advertiser 2]

Yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so you're leading the charge, everyone else running behind your new gnome friend. You rush around the extent exterior of the fire and head to the secondary tent there. What do you guys Do I want.

[Laura Bailey]

To keep an eye out for any where our weapons could be stored? Because they have to be somewhere.

[Jessica Chobot]

Right.

[Advertiser 1]

Make a quick investigation. Check. You don't hear anyone approaching yet, but you get the sense you have a short time before other members of the Ravagers begin to arrive.

[Laura Bailey]

19.

[Advertiser 1]

19. So as you guys dart over there and keep an eye out, you quickly look into the tent across the way, immediately into what looks to be a stack of scavenged weaponry.

[John Bradley]

Oh, my gosh.

[Advertiser 1]

Sweet.

[Laura Bailey]

Guys, in here.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, all right. You guys rush in there. You take about 20 or 30 seconds just rummaging through. It's not a huge pile. It's maybe 25 or so weapons that are scattered about. You find your bow, you find your quiver and your arrows. You find your daggers. You find your sword and crossbow as well as your bolts. Everything that you guys. All the equipment that was taken from you is available. But the time it takes you to gather them, you begin to hear what sounds like a number of other orcs rushing up.

[Laura Bailey]

Shit. Can I turn and cast spike growth on the ground in front of the tent?

[Advertiser 1]

Yes, you can. All right, so the ground just outside of the tent. You watch as some of the rocks suddenly begin to jut up into these stone spikes, these small spears that weren't there before. As you're all equipping yourselves, you hear. And you see as two orcs start coming past the front of the tent, clutching the bottoms of their feet, which are now bleeding and wounded from stepping onto the. I need everyone to roll initiative.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, God, that was so fast.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, roll a D20 and then add your initiative.

[John Bradley]

20. Yep.

[Liam O'Brien]

Add.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, seven.

[John Bradley]

Seven plus nine. Okay, nine.

[Advertiser 1]

All right. Vax. What'd you get? 12. Vex.

[Laura Bailey]

14.

[Advertiser 2]

15.

[Laura Bailey]

Dupont. Dupont.

[Advertiser 2]

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

[Advertiser 1]

Perfect. And hubris, who is kind of behind you guys at this point, is out dead last with the three. Okay, so, Dietrich, you see these two orcs kind of rush to the front there, holding their feet. They turn around and see you. They already have their weapons drawn. You're the first to go. What are you gonna do?

[Jessica Chobot]

I'm gonna.

[Advertiser 1]

The gas is right behind them, by the way. They just skirted by the radius of the gas, and. And it's maybe directly behind them, you see, Kind of still billowing in the space as you're concentrating on it.

[Jessica Chobot]

Can I use Eldritch blast on them to knock them into the cloud again?

[Advertiser 1]

Do you have the ability that pushes them back? You do.

[Jessica Chobot]

I do, do I?

[Advertiser 1]

10Ft. You do. Sweet. Okay, I'm gonna do that. All right, so go ahead and roll and attack. You get two blasts at this level up here.

[Jessica Chobot]

Two, four, seven.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, seven plus. What is your. That hits. So you watch as she puts her hand out and you watch as these two glowing bluish green blasts just fire out with these arcane bolts. One just manages to be dodged by one of the orcs at the front. The second one hits him in the stomach and he goes flying back past into the cloud where he immediately fails the saving throw and begins doubling over. So now he's currently caught up in the stinking cloud, the other one that was still standing there ready to go. And it's his go. So as the one that dodged your blast ducks out of the way and then with a giant jagged looking greatsword, makes a giant swing towards you.

[Jessica Chobot]

I have a bee.

[Advertiser 1]

That is a sacrifice yourself.

[Jessica Chobot]

Pbh.

[Advertiser 1]

That's a 19. 19 to hit. What's your armor class?

[Jessica Chobot]

Armor is 14.

[Advertiser 1]

14 that hit.

[Laura Bailey]

And they're taking 2D4 piercing damage for every five feet they travel in this bike road.

[Advertiser 1]

Correct. That is 14 points of slashing damage. Okay, so mark that hit points. Oh, shit. And a guy in the back, he takes two points of damage from rushing towards the spikes there. And then another orc rushes up behind him and he has a long sword out and he's gonna go ahead and strike at you as well. Cause you're right at the front. Jesus, guys, that's a.

[Jessica Chobot]

Anybody wanna help?

[Laura Bailey]

Yes.

[Advertiser 1]

That's a 14. Which just hits you. So you immediately take 10 points of slashing damage after that. Oh.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh no.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, that ends there.

[Advertiser 2]

I always remember you, Bonnie.

[Advertiser 1]

Anyone?

[Laura Bailey]

Seriously?

[Advertiser 2]

Yeah. What the fuck?

[Advertiser 1]

Dupont, you're up.

[Advertiser 2]

Seeing my demon wielding friend in danger, I'm going to get a running start and leap at the one with the greatsword leaping onto his chest. And I want to stab both of my daggers into his ears.

[Advertiser 1]

So go ahead and roll for two attacks. Your main attack and your offhand.

[John Bradley]

All right.

[Advertiser 2]

All right. Okay, that is A. Oh, 15. Oh, hey, I'm pretty good with that. And a natural one.

[Advertiser 1]

Oh, okay. Roll damage for the first one. You do get sneak attack damage because he's currently adjacent to D trick.

[Advertiser 2]

Okay, so that is 2, 6. And sneak attack is 3D6. There we go. Okay, so it's a 4, 5, 514 plus 6, 20.

[Advertiser 1]

So yeah, as you leap onto him, the one dagger hand, you go to swing and he kind of lets loose the grasp of the great sword and grabs your other wrist in mid air as you're like, oh, bother. But you grin in your other hand. That's free. You just jam your blade right into his solar plexus and jam it up into his throat. I kind of gut him from the sternum up. He then gurgles and takes one big swipe at the sword, but his strength's already leaving him and it's a wide swing falls onto the ground. The other guy with the long sword is still standing there, though. That's the end of your turn. That brings us to Vex.

[Laura Bailey]

Ah, I'm gonna shoot the other guy.

[Advertiser 1]

Go for it. Roll Protect.

[Advertiser 3]

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[Liam O'Brien]

We got one left and two left.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, we have currently four right now that are currently vomiting in the cloud and one that's currently unaffected by all my rolls.

[Laura Bailey]

14.

[Advertiser 1]

14 hits.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, good. Yay. Okay, 1D 8.

[Advertiser 1]

Hold on. Hold.

[Laura Bailey]

No, I'm not gonna find it. 1D 8 plus 5 is 8. Is that just it? 8 damage.

[Advertiser 1]

Yep.

[Laura Bailey]

Well, there you go.

[Advertiser 1]

8. All right.

[Laura Bailey]

And then I have an extra attack. Whenever I use my action to attack. I can do it twice.

[Advertiser 1]

You can?

[Laura Bailey]

All right, I'm gonna do it again.

[Advertiser 1]

Nope.

[John Bradley]

Shit.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, that one hits. That's 14 plus eight.

[Advertiser 1]

That hits. Roll damage a second time.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, that's a 10 for the damage.

[Advertiser 1]

10. The second air sinks into his chest following the the first one. And Anzi's longsword back is going to go for a gutting motion towards Dupont Dupont, who's immediately in front of him. The second arrow sinks into the side and he coughs a bit of blood on his chest before he crumples onto the body of the one that already collapsed in front. All right, that brings us to Vax and Menkem. You guys see the two orcs immediately there collapse? The other four on the outside are still coughing and vomiting. What are you doing?

[Liam O'Brien]

Double dove of vomiting and stuff?

[Advertiser 1]

Right.

[John Bradley]

Well, while they're kind of disorientated and kind of discombobulated by all that, they're not really in control of their movements. They don't really know what's going on. I'm gonna go a bit of crossbow.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[John Bradley]

A little bit of crossbow into the mix. All right, so on the blind side.

[Advertiser 1]

Perfect.

[Advertiser 2]

Not getting murdered while you're vomiting.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so you pull out your crossbow and you go ahead and aim towards the guys on the ground. Go ahead and roll an attack against him.

[John Bradley]

And there's extra attack on this as well.

[Advertiser 1]

That's true. Cause he's incastated.

[John Bradley]

Yeah. Okay.

[Advertiser 1]

Yep.

[John Bradley]

Seven. It better be a higher number than that. Sixteen.

[Advertiser 1]

That'll do. All right, so as you load the crossbow with your first strike, the one that just got pushed out of the way by your tiefling, friend here on the ground. The crossbow bolt sinks into part of its torso. Go ahead and roll damage that. It's 1d6. 2. Nice 8 points of damage. So the one sinks deeply into the side of its leg and thigh, and it probably hits some sort of dangerous artery. You can reload and take another shot if you'd like.

[John Bradley]

Okay, let's do it. Yeah, absolutely.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. So you go ahead and you quickly load another bolt in tink, pull it back with your hand. Crossbow fire a second time. Go ahead and roll.

[John Bradley]

Eight.

[Advertiser 1]

Eight and roll one more time.

[Laura Bailey]

Plus six, though. So that was 14 was the final number.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, well, that still hits. Then one more time just to see, just in case you get a two. Okay, yes, we'll go with the first one.

[John Bradley]

First one.

[Advertiser 1]

So go ahead and roll damage again. Roll a six sided dice and then add two to it.

[John Bradley]

Three. Five.

[Advertiser 1]

Five. That'll do it. So the second shot this time sinks into what looks to be the lower torso area. And as it pierces in a bunch of blood, begins to pull out the side. And the orc that was once coughing violently and vomiting to the side starts convulsing and then goes still within the cloud. Oh, okay, so he's dead. So what are you guys doing?

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm up look for the nearest puker. I'm going to pull out Flametongue dagger by the pommel, flip it into the blade in my hand, steady my hand on my sister's shoulder, and then thwip it at the first guy I see vomiting.

[Advertiser 1]

Go for it.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay, that is 24.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, that'll hit.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay, so that is four plus six is 10. And the sneak attack damage is.

[Advertiser 1]

Ooh, whoa.

[Liam O'Brien]

Is 26.

[Advertiser 1]

That first dagger just goes straight into the front of its face between the eyes. And you watch as they kind of cross in the middle of it, coughing, and the air just escapes from its lungs, no longer moving.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm guilty for this.

[John Bradley]

The good makes it look so easy.

[Laura Bailey]

It's okay, Dupont.

[Advertiser 1]

It's real easy.

[Laura Bailey]

Guys, you're still hurt. I'm really sorry about that.

[Advertiser 1]

I'm really hurt over here. Dietrich.

[Advertiser 2]

Can you heal me?

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so you still have. You have two orcs that are incapacitated in the cloud. You can hear echoing distant sounds of other orcs coming. What are you doing right now?

[Laura Bailey]

I'm gonna let them take care of the extra orcs because they did such a good job of the vomiting ones. And I'm gonna go cast cure wounds on you.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so you guys are staying put. You're waiting for the orcs to come to you.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, shit. Are we.

[Advertiser 2]

I think we should.

[Liam O'Brien]

Are they right on top of us?

[Advertiser 1]

No, no. You just hear them in the distance.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, we should run then. But I'm still gonna cure you.

[Jessica Chobot]

Oh.

[Advertiser 2]

Make good our escape. You've got hit. Port, you're last.

[Jessica Chobot]

I got mine.

[Laura Bailey]

I forgot. I need to keep track of how many spells I'm doing.

[Advertiser 2]

Look, I'll take care of him. Pretty boy Henry.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Jessica Chobot]

Pretty boy Henry.

[Advertiser 1]

Pbh.

[Jessica Chobot]

Don't say his name.

[Advertiser 2]

I will solve this riddle.

[Jessica Chobot]

Don't say his name out loud or he'll disappear.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so who's leading the charge out of the tent?

[Advertiser 2]

I will.

[Advertiser 1]

And just do Pontoo. Pont struts outside of the tent, just on the outskirts of the green cloud. That only probably lasts for a minute.

[John Bradley]

I believe that's four hit points.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, I know it's hard.

[Advertiser 1]

You have about, at this point, 30 or so seconds before the cloud dissipates and they get back up. So you make haste to follow Dupont and begin charging down. And you watch this. This chamber you're in, it's kind of like a kidney bean shape and has one egress that goes into a larger tunnel cavern system. As you head to the right and left, to the left, you can see what looks to be just a dark interior that goes into a series of other tunnels with bits of flickering bonfire light. Further in to the right, you can see what looks to be five or six tents clustered on one side, and the other side looks to be a giant iron cage and a glimmer of daylight. So what are you guys doing?

[Advertiser 2]

I think we should investigate these tents. There might be coin inside, and we can skim that once we get to the daylight.

[Laura Bailey]

There could be other prisoners inside, though.

[Advertiser 2]

Yes, other prisoners. That's what I meant to say.

[Liam O'Brien]

You wanna. You want. You and I creep in.

[Advertiser 1]

Yes.

[Advertiser 2]

Let's commence with the creep.

[Liam O'Brien]

Creep in.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so both of you guys are creeping forward. What are the rest of you doing? Are you following them or staying behind?

[Laura Bailey]

Do you want to stay outside the tents?

[John Bradley]

I'm gonna hang ever so slightly back.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Just in case they do get rushed.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. I'll stand next to you in the shadows. Have a.

[John Bradley]

Okay. Perfect.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so then I'm gonna have all of you guys roll stealth checks just to make sure you can stay out of sight.

[Advertiser 2]

Classic overwatch position.

[Advertiser 1]

I love it.

[Advertiser 2]

Ooh, That's a natural 20.

[Advertiser 1]

There you go.

[Jessica Chobot]

I'm glad I rolled that.

[Advertiser 1]

The curse is broken.

[Jessica Chobot]

16.

[Advertiser 1]

16 plus 0. So 16. Stealth 20. Wong 21. Nice, nice.

[Liam O'Brien]

21.

[Laura Bailey]

11.

[Advertiser 1]

11. Okay.

[Advertiser 2]

30.

[Advertiser 1]

So all of you get really alone in the shadows, following the outer crevices of the cavern and begin slowly moving forward as you hear in the distance, Grootkinder. And you watch as seven orcs go rushing by with weapons drawn. Some with a nasty looking gnarled longbow, others wielding large greatswords again. And they all seven rush past and go ahead into the area where you were, where the cloud is now dissipating. However, one of them stops and glances over his shoulder and looks right towards you, Vex'ahlia. Apparently catching his eye. You shoot right back. Immediately go for it. Okay.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh good. That hit. Hopefully 26.

[Advertiser 1]

26 hits, yeah. Anyone else jumping into this, this immediate oh God moment?

[Laura Bailey]

I'm gonna use lightning arrow on him.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

As soon as I see her go, I just aim for the same head.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

With flame time, push Hubris out of the shadows.

[Laura Bailey]

I'll use my second luck of the third.

[Advertiser 1]

Hubris is right next to you. Goes like.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay.

[Advertiser 1]

What did you say? Talking about someone else.

[Advertiser 2]

The concept, not you.

[Advertiser 1]

I get that a lot.

[Laura Bailey]

11 +9 is 20 damage.

[Advertiser 1]

20 points light damage. As soon as you turn and goes and goes to swing his large greatsword arc towards you. You guys watch as Vex'ali pulls an arrow back and releases it. The arrow shaft suddenly bursts with a bolt of electricity. Like a tiny lightning bolt, it slams into his chest. It falls to the ground, convulses and goes silent with its sizzle and a small stream of smoke from his chest. However, the shaking convulsing sound did give out a loud yell. And you see two of the orcs that were rushing away turn around and shit.

[Laura Bailey]

I thought it would be stealthy. I'm sorry.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. Hubris, who's like holding onto pawn shoulder goes like. I think they saw us. What do we do? What are we doing guys?

[Advertiser 2]

Are they within our eyeshot? The other orcs?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. They ran past you and then three of them stopped and turned towards you. You guys are between them and the light on the opposite side.

[Advertiser 2]

Can they see all of us now or they just see that?

[Laura Bailey]

Do they just see me?

[Advertiser 1]

They've only seen you because you've only revealed yourself.

[Advertiser 2]

I'd like to shoot my cross at one of them.

[Advertiser 1]

At one of them. Go for it.

[Advertiser 2]

Cause I'm very stealth trained.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'd like to insight check hubris.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

Cause I got a bad phelan roll.

[Advertiser 1]

Insight check.

[Advertiser 2]

Come on.

[Laura Bailey]

Pretty bad at this things are attacking us right now.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm doing it. 16.

[Advertiser 1]

16. I mean, he seems like a pretty shady fellow, but at the moment he seems more interested in self preservation. So you're not terribly worried about him at the moment?

[Advertiser 2]

Name one bad thing that hubris has ever caused.

[Advertiser 1]

What do you want to mention?

[John Bradley]

So Vexarly is the only one of us that can really be seen at the moment.

[Advertiser 1]

We're all still stealthy.

[John Bradley]

Okay, well, can I give her invisibility?

[Advertiser 1]

You can? Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Can I touch her and give her invisibility?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. You will turn. You will come out of stealth, but if you cast it at a higher level, you can turn both you and her invisibility.

[John Bradley]

Oh, that's perfect. Yeah. Can I do that?

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. So you use your last third level spell for the day and suddenly you and Vex'ahlia both vanish from sight. And the three orcs that turn go mean like stalking through the cavern, lifting over rocks and throwing over pieces of matted fur, looking for wherever you went.

[John Bradley]

Yeah. Meanwhile, we're gonna be invisibly going around making noises. Confusing these guys. Confusing. Giving them noises to follow away from the light so that while they're moving away from the light to try and find those that are invisible, these guys can go towards the light. We can then follow them out.

[Advertiser 1]

That's great. Okay.

[Jessica Chobot]

Brilliant.

[Advertiser 1]

Amazing. So the two of you begin to make your way kind of along the sides of the orcs as they begin rushing inward to search for them, picking up small stones and throwing them deeper into the cavern. You hear as they clatter and all of a sudden the three perk up and the two of them start rushing off in that direction while he starts stalking forward a bit. So he's lone and you guys begin to move just past him. I'm going to need all of you to make one more stealth check to see if you can go by unnoticed by this fella.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh my gosh.

[Advertiser 1]

The guys who are invisible have advantage, however.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, we have advantage.

[Advertiser 1]

The guys who are invisible have advantage.

[Laura Bailey]

Thank God for rolling in. Cause that would have been so bad.

[Advertiser 2]

Super glad we're all invisible.

[Advertiser 1]

That's okay.

[Advertiser 2]

All of us.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. You're still invisible, so he doesn't see you, but he's okay. All right. So what'd you get?

[Jessica Chobot]

I got a six.

[Liam O'Brien]

Using my second of three lucks, I got a natural 20.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, 14.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, good point.

[Advertiser 2]

With my modifier, I got a 12.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so while you've managed to take two of them out of the equation, one of them that's still wandering Forward seems to start picking up the hint of footballs. And as you guys all begin to run towards the entrance, he gives chase. He hasn't caught up to. And you guys are just running out at this point. But at this point to go full sprint to try and outrun him, you're going to have to drop stealth. You guys would remain invisible.

[Liam O'Brien]

Can I stop running and then slink up against a tent and let him pass me and then stick him from behind?

[Advertiser 1]

You may. So you dart off to the side behind one of the tents. At which point you also hear the clanging of metal chains being dragged. But sourceless, you're not quite sure where it's coming. All right, so you're waiting there. The orc runs past the rest of you guys. What are you doing?

[Advertiser 2]

Can I break stealth to give him advantage on that and sort of distract.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm already pretty.

[Advertiser 1]

Oh yeah, if you want to. Yeah. You kind of. You weren't stealth to begin with. You thought you were. So you go from un stealth to being super unstealth and kind of waving your hands. Hey, hey. The guy there suddenly turns and yells out, chieftain police.

[Advertiser 2]

I regret this immediately.

[Jessica Chobot]

Oh no.

[Laura Bailey]

We called out for cheat.

[Jessica Chobot]

I know.

[Advertiser 1]

Shit.

[Laura Bailey]

We got rock. Damn it, Dan.

[Advertiser 1]

At this point, the chain locks and you watch. The iron cage that was on the right side of the cavern has now the front of it slams down the cage, which was about 15ft. You now see come running out, furious and angry. A creature emitting a roar that is familiar. You heard it before you were knocked unconscious in the first raid. You see shackles on its arms. The chain's broken. A 15 foot tall, muscular behemoth of a man. His muscles rippling, strewn with scars and looks like torture elements to its body. Leathers are strapped across its midsection. Its hair is tattered and long and slick with sweat and oil. And you see in the center of its face, above its nose, a singular eye. As it reaches down and grabs this large thick. Looks like a log or some sort of a sitting implement that was near one of the fires and wields it as a club. The orc that you distracted backs up and goes and just darts back with the other orcs. And now it's you guys standing in the middle of the section with a large cyclops there right before you. Everyone roll initiative once again.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh God. Wait, is the door to the cavern closed now or is it still open?

[Advertiser 1]

You still see the light ahead of you, but now the cyclops is stepping in the way. Oh God.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay, okay, okay. Jeez.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so. All right, so for order on combat here, what'd you get for.

[Jessica Chobot]

I got a seven.

[Advertiser 1]

A seven. Okay.

[Jessica Chobot]

Yeah, yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

Manchem, what'd you get?

[John Bradley]

Oh, 17.

[Advertiser 1]

17, nice. Okay, so that brings us to Vex.

[Liam O'Brien]

24.

[Advertiser 1]

24, nice.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm hoping I'm still natural. 20 stealth at this point.

[Laura Bailey]

You're hoping?

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm hoping.

[Advertiser 1]

Don't worry, I'll just start 17 as well. 17 as well. All righty, so we have Vex and Man come on the same turn.

[Advertiser 2]

I got an 11.

[Advertiser 1]

An 11 already. And hub Chris is last. All right, so this large hulking Cyclops that's now stepping in between the path to exit of this cavern and where you're standing, you see, with its large bellowing scream, bits of flesh and bile are flung from its teeth and spatter on the ground in front of it. Vax, you're up first. Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

So I was just about to throw my dagger at that orc and I heard that and said, oh, fuck me running. And I throw it at the cyclops instead.

[Advertiser 1]

Go for it.

[Liam O'Brien]

That is a 23.

[Advertiser 1]

23 hits.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay, where the hell is it? That's right in front of me.

[Advertiser 1]

Vex and man come. You guys are up next. At the same time, actually.

[Laura Bailey]

Nice and more invisible.

[Advertiser 1]

You are invisible.

[Liam O'Brien]

13 total.

[Advertiser 1]

13 points of damage with the first strike. So the dagger sticks into part of its torso and goes to knock the sword out of its. But it blinks back to your belt.

[Liam O'Brien]

I will use bonus action to fucking hide.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so you dart around the backside of the tent to try and obscure your vision from it. Go ahead and roll stealth again.

[Liam O'Brien]

All right, that's all right. That's a 24.

[Advertiser 1]

24. Okay, so as far as you know, it doesn't see you. All right, that brings us to Vexalia and men come. What are you guys doing?

[John Bradley]

Yeah, we got a great idea.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[John Bradley]

What we're going to do, we're going to get a length of rope that we've kept on. We kept about half persons gonna take.

[Laura Bailey]

An end each and run him. Cause we're still invisible.

[John Bradley]

We're gonna run him, run at the shins, try and trip him.

[Advertiser 1]

Ooh, that's pretty awesome. Okay, so both of you guys pulling the rope, which it's interesting as you clutch the rope and pull it out as it's being wielded by you. It's currently invisible. As you guys charge forward, you watch as the center of rope seems to appear out of nowhere. Just a small foot or two suspended and rushing Forward. The cyclops does not see it. I need both of you guys to make athletics chests.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay, do the athletics.

[Advertiser 1]

God.

[Advertiser 2]

He has no depth perception.

[Advertiser 1]

However, you have advantage because you are invisible, and he doesn't see you there.

[John Bradley]

Okay. 18.

[Advertiser 1]

18.

[Laura Bailey]

No. I'm sorry, man. Oh, no. I got it, too.

[Advertiser 1]

With advantage. All right, so here's the deal. You guys go rushing by, and the rope wraps around. You manage to get a nice, sturdy pull. And as you tug, the cyclops kicks on one side, just stepping forward. Forward instinctively to go towards whatever stabbed him with the dagger, and you get flung from the edge of the rope, tumbling backward. You're still invisible, but you skitter across the ground. You take three points of bludgeoning damage from the tumbling and impact.

[Laura Bailey]

That was a fun idea.

[Advertiser 1]

The rope is still kind of wrapped around one of its legs and dangling, but it's. Oh, that was like a bow.

[Laura Bailey]

Lower. Is that what it's called?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, but it didn't go around both legs. However, you still have your disposal. Anything else you want to do on your turn? You have a bonus action still. If you wanted to either inspire somebody or.

[John Bradley]

Can I inspire Dupont?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. How do you want to inspire him?

[John Bradley]

I want to inspire him to. What kind of conditions are he in at the moment?

[Advertiser 1]

Currently, he looks. His ego's bruised, but he looks physically all right. Yeah.

[John Bradley]

What are you doing?

[Advertiser 2]

What am I doing?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Come over and help.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm trying slow to start sometimes.

[Advertiser 1]

All right. His voice is commanding for a small gnome. And you feel yourself invigorated with this guy's a plan. I'll follow suit. So give yourself a D8 inspiration die that you can spend to add to an attack roll or a saving throw or perfect things like that. All right, cool. So that's the end of your turn. So you mark off one of your inspirations there.

[John Bradley]

Okay.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, that brings us next to the cyclops turn. The cyclops.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm gonna use my bonus.

[Advertiser 1]

Oh, yeah. Bonus action, too.

[Laura Bailey]

If I can cast anything, do I lose invisibility?

[Advertiser 1]

You do.

[Laura Bailey]

Then never mind. I'm gonna just hang out on the ground.

[Advertiser 1]

Biological sir.

[Laura Bailey]

Take a quick nap nursing my bruised ego.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, the cyclops is gonna rush forward. Now you get dragged a bit behind it. The rope is pulling you forward, but you're still holding on tight as you come rushing towards it. It's gonna make one great club attack against you as you're rushing in its direction. And a second at hubris, who's behind you going, I don't know what I'M supposed. Oh, God. The attack towards you is. That's gonna be 24.

[Advertiser 2]

That's a hit.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. It's like being hit with a tree going at 50 miles an hour. That is 24 points of bludgeoning damage.

[Advertiser 2]

But don't worry, I'm gonna uncannily dodge.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so you take half that damage. So you manage to try and whip out of the way in time. It still hits you in the shoulder, and you spin and land on your knees and get back up. It hurt, but could have been a lot worse. We'll see how Hubris is. Oh, he gets hit as well. Oh, no. Okay, that's 21 points. Bludgeon. Hubris is still up, but not looking too hot right now. All right, so the two clubus max. Whack, whack. And you just hear now cheers in the back, and you kind of glance over, and you can see a bunch of the orcs towards the back of the cavern are now just watching like it's a gladiatorial event, like. No. And they're just. They're excited to watch you guys get smashed by one of their captive entities. All right, that brings us to Dupont. It's your turn.

[Advertiser 2]

About time. All right, let's see how you tie this one on for size. And I'm going to try and make a called shot with my crossbow to his eye.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, go ahead and roll for an attack. It's with disadvantage.

[Advertiser 2]

All my attacks are with disadvantage. That's my secret. Well, 10.

[Advertiser 1]

However, you can add your D8 with inspiration.

[Advertiser 2]

What did that gnome say to me? Yes, don't start. Just don't stand there. Do something.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so you're adding this to it.

[Advertiser 2]

Eight. That is an 18.

[Advertiser 1]

That's an 18. 18 will actually hit.

[Advertiser 2]

I love that tiny man.

[Advertiser 1]

As you hear the words echoing through your mind, you take your crossbow up and release a shot as the Cyclops, after slamming down Hubris to the ground, gives a big roar. And this other hand lifts up and grabs it on its face. You can see it trying to open the eye, but the lids squint shut and a bit of blood begins to pull out the side it's currently blinded. For the next round, go ahead and roll damage for the crossbow. All right.

[Advertiser 2]

1D4.7.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, seven points of damage to it. Dietrich, you're up.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay, I'm gonna cast hunger.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so the hunger of Hadar.

[Jessica Chobot]

Yes. And I'm going to have my hentai tentacles hold him down and rip out his eyeball, please.

[Advertiser 1]

Tentacles. What?

[Jessica Chobot]

Make him more Orifices.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so wounded, limping, you reach up and you watch as she extends her hand and begins speaking in an infernal language. Suddenly, this dark portal opens up behind the Cyclops, where you can see what looks like space, stars, and wisps of galaxies. And then suddenly, all these black tentacles reach out and begin to strike across and scrape the body of the Cyclops. You hear horrible slurping noises and whispers near, filling the space. It's really disturbing. Okay, cool. So the area is open, and it's currently standing there, enveloped in this dark space. So on its next turn, it'll be affected by it. But you've started this effect there now.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay.

[Advertiser 1]

Oh, God. That's. Yeah. Oh, man. He's gonna have a rough turn. And is blinded. Blinded and absorbed by terrible things. All right, cool. That ends your turn. That brings us to hubris. Hubris is going to go ahead and stand up and seeing this strange mixture of attacks, go grab one of the short swords from one of the orcs that was killed earlier when you guys rushed to the cavern and charge forward and try and stab it in the abdomen.

[Jessica Chobot]

That's going to do it.

[Advertiser 1]

And rolls an 11 and just can't. Aptly named, I suppose. All righty. Ending his turn. We're back at the top of the round. Vaxelden, you're up.

[Liam O'Brien]

Ooh, pop up. I'll just throw it again.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

Right where I am. I am not gonna put myself in.

[Advertiser 1]

You have advantage in the attack roll because he is blinded.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah. That is a 17.

[Advertiser 1]

17 does hit. Go ahead and roll. Damage.

[Liam O'Brien]

All right. And he takes 10. 10, 13. 17. 19 total.

[Advertiser 1]

19 points of damage. Nice.

[Liam O'Brien]

And I will pop right the hell back to where I was. And.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, start back and then make yourself check.

[Liam O'Brien]

25.

[Advertiser 1]

You get the sense that with his bleeding eye, he can't see. Yeah. You feel pretty well here. Good. All right, so we have mancum and vexalia. What do you guys want to do?

[John Bradley]

What do you think?

[Laura Bailey]

I'll go first. I just failed miserably at the last thing we did.

[John Bradley]

So this crowd. There's a watching crowd, right? Yeah. Is there anything I can do with them? Is there any kind of persuasive elements I could do with them?

[Advertiser 1]

Possibly. I mean, they're all rowdy and ready to see a fight. They're ready to turn into a bar room brawl at any minute. So if you have any spells that you think might push in that direction or any abilities to try and mess with them. What do you want to try?

[John Bradley]

Well, if I can plant mind control at all. I can persuade them to get us out of there. Right.

[Advertiser 1]

Well, with Whisper, you can tell one of them to do something and it'll go and take that action. So one of them you could affect with the suggestion spell.

[John Bradley]

Oh, can I do that?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah. What do you want to try and convince him to do?

[John Bradley]

Try and convince him to see our side of the story, please.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay. Okay. So as you look back at the group, you find one of the burliest orcs there that's like. And you give him suggestions. So what do you suggest to him?

[John Bradley]

Think on yourself. Look at this guy, the Cyclops. He's not in a good state. Who are the good guys here who looked like the good guys? It's not him, is it? It's not even the rest of these guys, he says, innit? Think, think, think. Look deep into yourself. Look deep into these eyes. Look deep into these piercing blue eyes and tell me that I don't look like a good guy.

[Advertiser 1]

His face lingers on you for a second.

[Narrator]

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[Advertiser 1]

Streaming December 12th on Peacock. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are back.

[Laura Bailey]

That's hot.

[Advertiser 3]

Loves it.

[Advertiser 1]

For a show stopping reunion that will prove putting on an opera is anything but simple.

[Advertiser 3]

We're really good at this.

[Advertiser 1]

One thing's for sure, they won't be upstaged.

[Liam O'Brien]

Good to have you back.

[Advertiser 3]

Come on, we've got a show to do. Paris and Nicole, The Encore, a three.

[Advertiser 1]

Part reunion special streaming December 12th, only on Peacock. Wait, this is a nice gnome.

[John Bradley]

Yeah, don't fight the gnome.

[Advertiser 1]

Another orc goes like, shut up. Barrage.

[John Bradley]

No, no, no. Listen to him.

[Advertiser 1]

No, no, this. We need to talk about this diplomatically. Diplo.

[John Bradley]

Shut up.

[Advertiser 1]

And socks him in the face.

[John Bradley]

Perfect.

[Advertiser 1]

Oh, you son of a bean. Grabs him by the shoulders and headbutts him.

[John Bradley]

Yeah.

[Advertiser 1]

And now you watch as these two orcs start fighting and they start gathering around their own circle in the corner going, no, no. And they start pulling out blades and trying to shiv each other. And now you've created this. Yeah.

[John Bradley]

Getting them to do the job for us.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, you've created a small bar, like a serious kind of one on one kind of arena match there in their crowd.

[John Bradley]

These guys are so highly strung, they've been seconds away from this. They just need a little irritant and they're gonna be at each other. See?

[Advertiser 1]

Perfect. Awesome. So while you're finishing that vexalia, what are you doing?

[Laura Bailey]

I am going to stand up and shoot the cyclops as well. Aiming for his jugular.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, roll with my. Yes, with advantage because he's blinded currently.

[Laura Bailey]

Gosh darn it. I don't like that dice anymore. It was two, but this one is much better. Okay, so this is my sharpshooter arrow with a jugular. So that's a 20 to hit.

[Advertiser 1]

That hits.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, good.

[Advertiser 1]

So you add your plus plus 10.

[Laura Bailey]

To damage on this one, plus 15 to damage. That's 20 with the sharpshooter.

[Advertiser 1]

20 points of damage. Nice. So this time as he's kind of reeling back, you see the darkness curling over the shoulders, going. The head pulls up and you see a perfect shot. You release the arrow and sinks in. It's like. And he gets coughing and gurgling this thick, bloody, blackish, brackish blood from its throat. Still standing and still furious.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm going to just, just hit him again. Cause that's what I can do.

[Advertiser 1]

Ooh, natural 20. That'll do it. So go ahead and roll damage on that.

[Laura Bailey]

Double my dice.

[Advertiser 1]

Yep.

[Laura Bailey]

12 plus 5 is 17.

[Advertiser 1]

17 points of damage. As soon as he begins gurgling, he picks up his giant club like log. And as he begins to swing it over his head, you shoot him in the belly and it leans forward again. It's looking visible, but it's also looking like it's going into a full furious frenzy.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm going to use the rest of my movement to try to move towards the opening.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, so you're moving around the outside of this radius. Yeah. Okay, good to know. Ending that it's its turn. It swings out. Hearing you rush by, it's going to take a swing for you. Vexalia with its club. That's with a disadvantage. That is still a 19. What's your armor class?

[Laura Bailey]

No, it hits.

[Advertiser 1]

It hits you. Okay, so that is 26 points of bludgeoning damage.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, that does a lot of damage.

[Advertiser 1]

Whack. It hits you from one side and then it spins around for another strike once it feels contact. Cause it's the only thing that knows it's in the area. Cause it can see and it's gonna go for you again.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, no. What did you do? I don't know.

[Advertiser 1]

I'm gonna die.

[Laura Bailey]

You guys.

[Advertiser 1]

A 19 again.

[Laura Bailey]

I felt so good about myself with my critical hit.

[Advertiser 1]

25 points of bludgeoning damage.

[Laura Bailey]

I am so unconscious.

[Advertiser 1]

So you watch as she rushes past after getting a nice big hit and looks over you and gives you like, come on. And as soon as she turns around to spin, gets hit by the club, one side, knocking her up in the air about five or six feet. And before she can land, it swings back again. Her body crumples in midair and skids across the ground towards the light. Coming to the stop. Not moving.

[Liam O'Brien]

We have to.

[Laura Bailey]

He batted me.

[Liam O'Brien]

Space time continuum will collapse in on itself.

[Advertiser 1]

Dupont, it's your turn.

[Advertiser 2]

So I have a healing potion. Would that get her up to snuff?

[Advertiser 1]

It would, but it'll take your whole turn to just get it to her and feed it to her.

[Advertiser 2]

I'm gonna do it. I'm going to give her a healing potion.

[John Bradley]

That's so sweet.

[Advertiser 1]

So sweet. You rush past, it hears you moving past, and it takes a big swing in the direction of where you are as this attack of opportunity with disadvantage. That is a six plus nine. It's a 15. What's your armor class?

[Advertiser 2]

16, bitch.

[Advertiser 1]

16. As you're rushing forward with a potion in hand, you hear the woof of the wind whooshing, and you duck down as it passes just over you by inches. That was close. You go over and grab her unconscious body, uncork the potion, apply it to her, and you watch as her eyes flicker open back to consciousness. Go. Roll 2D4. Two to heal up on that one.

[Laura Bailey]

2D4 what?

[Advertiser 1]

Two.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, you're up.

[Jessica Chobot]

Ah, well. So what's happening with the hunger of Hadar? Is he nine points? Is he still dealing with that or is that actually.

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah, sorry. At the top of his turn, he takes 10 points of cold damage as they're wrapping around him and scathing his body at the end of his turn because he doesn't move.

[Liam O'Brien]

Lord knows where that is.

[Advertiser 1]

He takes another nine points of acid damage. So you watch as this void is trying to pull the Cyclops in. And as it's doing, its body's being torn and burned. It's looking really, really badly hurt currently. So what are you doing on your turn?

[Jessica Chobot]

Can I hit him with a hex and then follow it up with an agonizing blast?

[Advertiser 1]

If you hit him with a hex, you're gonna lose the void spell. Oh, so you have to Concentrate to keep it there. But you can do Eldritch blast without dropping it.

[Jessica Chobot]

All right, well, then let's do that.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, go to roll up to attack him twice. So you have advantage because he's. Well, he's no longer blinded, actually. So you just.

[Jessica Chobot]

Ooh. 20.

[Advertiser 1]

All right, so roll a D10. That's times two on that. So it's two plus four. It's six points of damage. And then roll another attack with your second blast against it.

[Jessica Chobot]

Ten.

[Advertiser 1]

Ten plus eight. That hits. Yeah, so roll damage on that one more time for the second blast.

[Jessica Chobot]

Okay, come on, come on.

[Laura Bailey]

Big ten.

[Liam O'Brien]

Good.

[Jessica Chobot]

Oh, that's ten.

[Laura Bailey]

Joke.

[Advertiser 1]

You're good. You're good. That's 14 points of damage as you blast it. You watch as the first hits one arm and part of the muscle gets torn open. It drops the club, and as it spins around, it tries to backhand whatever direction you are. You step out of the way, and with a secondary blast from your hand, it smacks it right in the spot where your arrow had hit the throat. Tears open against the poor blood, and you watch as it reaches up and grasps it, at which point the tentacles grab its body and begin to pull it into the void. As its body gets slowly crushed in, a small singularity disappears in the darkness. The portal. However, the orcs are still fighting behind you and starting to get rowdy. What are you guys doing?

[Jessica Chobot]

Well, I feel like I did my job, folks.

[Liam O'Brien]

And the gate's down. That big gate.

[Advertiser 1]

It was a cage that was holding the Cyclops. The entrance is still open.

[John Bradley]

Oh, well, they're distracted, right?

[Advertiser 1]

Yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

Cause they're now fighting with themselves.

[Advertiser 2]

Look it.

[Advertiser 1]

Run.

[Laura Bailey]

And I'm just shouting, trinket, trinket. As I'm running towards the door.

[Advertiser 1]

As you're rushing towards the door. You guys see that? With the chain around its neck, Trinket, your bear is currently now over to the side with its chain jammed into the ground with a giant metal pike.

[Laura Bailey]

I just take off, right? Instead of going to the entrance, I run over to Trinket and try to get him out.

[Advertiser 1]

Okay, you go over and make a strength check to try and pull the pike out of the ground.

[Laura Bailey]

That's weak. No, no, no. Okay, with advantage or not. No, it's just a plain old.

[Liam O'Brien]

What if I run over and start pulling on her waist? What if I run over and start pulling on her waist to double the effort?

[Advertiser 1]

So you roll as well. All right, you guys are rushing towards the entrance. She goes over to try and save her bear.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, I got One last luck.

[Advertiser 1]

Use it.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, no.

[Liam O'Brien]

We suck.

[Advertiser 2]

If I run over and pull on his waist.

[Advertiser 1]

So now we have a waist chain roll.

[Liam O'Brien]

A strength human centipede.

[Advertiser 2]

11.

[Advertiser 1]

The three of you are now pulling on this spike jammed in the ground. Now this bear. The bear's like, there's something you want to try and do to help out with the escape of the bear. Okay.

[John Bradley]

Okay. Yeah. Okay. While everybody's pulling away at this chain and this nail, the bear's getting aggravated. The bear's thrashing around. The bear is distracting the fighting orcs. Over to where we're seeing. Over to where we are. Right. Making loads of noise, growling. Oh, we don't want to. We don't want them to see us freeing this bear.

[Advertiser 1]

Right.

[John Bradley]

So I'm going to use my amazing animal handling skill. Oh. To go in front of this bear, to talk to the bear, to make eye contact with this bear. Calm it down. You know what I mean? Don't. Just don't make any of this noise. We're going to get you free. We'll get you free. Just stay calm. They can't hear you making all this racket.

[Advertiser 1]

All right. All right. Go and make an animal handling check.

[John Bradley]

I'm gonna use animal handling check. 13 in total.

[Advertiser 1]

13. Okay. So as Trinket at this point, he's kind of focused on kind of the din around and kind of looking about for you. Is your column up here? And then he begins to pull against the chain with you and kind of you kind of grab onto the side of the neck and the two of you begin tugging and tugging as the rest of them are pulling at the back of the.

[Jessica Chobot]

All right, can I do. As I'm running towards the exit. Can I hit the nail that's got chain on it with a blast?

[Advertiser 1]

Sure. Go ahead and roll an attack for that. Okay. There you go.

[Jessica Chobot]

Just to help. Cause I do technically still feel like a good person. Got you 20.

[Advertiser 1]

A natural 20. So with that as you release, these guys are pulling so hard. And the bear's like. She releases a single blast bolt that slams into the metal pull. It's jammed into the ground. It bursts off. You hear the metal bang. We did it. The three of you immediately fall onto your backs in a small heating pile of breath.

[Jessica Chobot]

Also, we're even now for the heal later.

[Laura Bailey]

Definitely. Definitely.

[Advertiser 1]

Trinket comes up and go team looks at your face. You look up and see this giant grizzly bear that just comes up, looks like about to eat her face off and just licks the side of the cheek. The Orcs are now starting.

[Laura Bailey]

Come trinket, shrink it mine.

[Advertiser 1]

The bear comes up and nuzzles the side of your face and you almost get knocked off your feet from just the force of this powerful creature. The orcs behind you now start reduction.

[Liam O'Brien]

Time to go. Time to go.

[Advertiser 1]

You guys bolt back towards the entrance. The light is almost blinding as you come into daylight and you jut out into this waist high grass field and see a blue sky above you. It's a new day. You have your things on you. While the caravan may be a loss, your lives and whatever future you hope to build from this point forward as you live another day, free living people. Congratulations. Well done.

[Advertiser 2]

I'll be honest, I did not believe in us.

[Laura Bailey]

And we've got all these rings.

[Advertiser 1]

You do? You guys blinged out.

[John Bradley]

Absolutely blinged out.

[Laura Bailey]

I forgot that you guys ran off with those. And all these jewelry I've shoved in my pockets too.

[Advertiser 1]

So made out. Not too bad. Other than like, you know, many people that probably died in the caravan. You guys made out okay.

[Advertiser 2]

Look, there'll be other caravans. People are a renewable resource.

[Advertiser 1]

Awesome. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much for playing.

[John Bradley]

Oh no, thank you. Having a lovely time. It was so much fun. Genuinely really enjoyed. Thank you so much for having me.

[Advertiser 1]

If you're looking for a podcast adventure, check out Dum Dums and Dragons, a podcast where improvisers and comedians who've never role played before journey into the world.

[Advertiser 2]

Of Dungeons and Dragons.

[Advertiser 1]

Dum Dums and Dragons has been featured.

[Advertiser 2]

On the official Dungeons and Dragons podcast.

[Advertiser 1]

Ranked number two of all fiction podcasts in America and has been downloaded more than 4 million times. Dum Dums and Dragons can be discovered anywhere hilarious podcasts can be found. It's like Lord of the Rings if everyone was an idiot.

[Narrator]

Buffet brawlers, glory holes gone wrong, cannibalistic castration cabins, public poopers. These are just a few of the crazy topics you'll hear covered on Excuse Me, that's Illegal, the pettiest podcast around. Whether you need a break from all that murdery true crime stuff or just enjoy hearing hilarious stories told in a unique way, I got what you need. I'm Leroy Luna, your fearless host chauffeur. So come hop in my minivan and let's go for a ride. I promise you probably won't be disappointed. Excuse me, that's Illegal is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, basically everywhere you consume podcasts with new episodes dropping on the 10th, 20th and 30th of the month. Baby.

[Advertiser 1]

Next Gen Console Watch is the Igen show discussing the latest gaming hardware. Whether it's a PS5 Pro, Nintendo Switch 2, or something new from Xbox, it's all fair game. A Next Gen Console Watch hosted by myself, Damon Hatfield, a 20 year IGN veteran. I am joined by my co host Ryan McCaffrey, host of IGN's Xbox podcast Podcast Unlocked, and Max Scoville, host of IGN's PlayStation podcast Podcast Beyond. I will try to keep these console war discussions civil, but no promises. Listen to Next Gen Console Watch on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Friday.