CelebriD&D with The Suicide Squad's Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker, & Flula Borg

Summary

Podcast Summary: Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry
Episode: CelebriD&D with The Suicide Squad's Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker, & Flula Borg
Release Date: December 16, 2024
Current Season: Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode

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Introduction to CelebriD&D

In this thrilling episode of Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode, host Amy Vorpahl teams up with celebrities Nathan Fillion and Michael Rooker for a special segment called CelebriD&D. Hosted by Flula Borg, this segment invites well-known personalities to dive into the world of Dungeons & Dragons, showcasing their improvisational storytelling and role-playing skills.

Character Creation

The adventure begins with the trio creating their goblin characters, each bringing their unique flair to the game:

• Michael Rooker becomes Arnold the Goblin Barbarian, embodying brute strength and toughness.

  [03:34] Michael Rooker: "I do in normal life. So I'm good."

• Nathan Fillion takes on the role of Jolene Glaplock the Druid, utilizing his magical prowess.

  [04:18] Nathan Fillion: "Jolene. Jolene Glaplock."

• Flula Borg introduces himself as Bloopsy the Rogue, a stealthy and cunning character.

  [04:31] Riley (Flula Borg): "Bloopsy is the name of my robe."

The Mission from Klarg

The goblin trio is summoned by their boss, Klarg the Bugbear, who tasks them with a critical mission:

[07:37] Nathan Fillion: "Do we get good? Catch them alive if you..."

Klarg instructs them to kidnap Gundren Rockseeker and his companion Sildar, who are carrying valuable goods and a mysterious map. The mission emphasizes capturing them alive to retrieve the map and any other items they possess.

Executing the Kidnapping

The team formulates a strategy to intercept Gundren and Sildar. Jolene uses her druidic magic to cast Entangle, creating a block in the path to trap the targets.

[11:24] Nathan Fillion: "I'm calling on my abilities as a Druid to influence the growth of plants and trees."

Bloopsy employs his rogue skills to camouflage as foliage, ensuring the ambush remains undetected.

[13:00] Riley (Bloopsy): "I'm made of flannel robe... early 90s Nirvana concert style."

Arnold leverages his barbarian strength to subdue the captives, successfully capturing Gundren and Sildar without harming them.

[15:27] Riley: "This makes so much sense."

Uncovering Secrets and Moral Dilemmas

After securing Gundren and Sildar, the team discovers the map and additional valuable items during their search. However, differing motivations surface:

[19:31] Michael Rooker: "Maybe we can hold the other folks that we're delivering them to a little bit in ransom and we can get a little bit more money out of it."

The discussion shifts towards the temptation of keeping the map and the dwarf for personal gain, leading to internal conflict within the group.

Bloopsy's Sacrifice and the Departure

Amidst the moral debate, Bloopsy makes a dramatic decision to sacrifice himself to protect his companions:

[28:33] Riley (Bloopsy): "I've committed suicide with my robe. And so just. I don't want to testify against my friends, so I'm dead."

With Bloopsy's departure, Jolene and Arnold decide to abandon the original mission. Arnold seizes the map, signaling his intent to pursue personal adventures, while Jolene chooses to return to their boss, Klarg.

[29:09] Michael Rooker: "I pick up the map and I put it in my little pocket and I walk off a happy camper."

Conclusion of the Adventure

The episode concludes with the goblins parting ways, each following their chosen path. Arnold heads off with the map, Jolene returns to Klarg, and Bloopsy remains a fallen hero who safeguarded her friends' freedom.

[30:11] Flula Borg: "And that is where we will end our adventure. With a dead robe, a dead on the inside goblin, and another goblin who will never find the cave."

Notable Quotes

• Flula Borg on Character Strengths:

  [03:40] Flula Borg: "You're a scoundrel. You sneak around."

• Nathan Fillion on the Mission's Importance:

  [21:05] Nathan Fillion: "We want to know where does it lead to? What's at the end of the map?"

• Michael Rooker on Team Dynamics:

  [28:54] Michael Rooker: "You're still Canadian. Come on, Hop on my back. I'll kill you."

Final Thoughts

This episode of CelebriD&D masterfully blends humor, strategy, and character development, showcasing how celebrities immerse themselves in the rich storytelling of Dungeons & Dragons. The dynamic interactions and unexpected twists highlight the unpredictable nature of actual play podcasts, making it a must-listen for RPG enthusiasts and fans of the featured celebrities alike.

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Stay tuned for next week's episode and delve deeper into the multiverse with more epic adventures on Geek & Sundry!

Transcript

[Riley]

Bingo Blitz rules.

[Flula Borg]

If your bingo has ads in it, that's not a bingo. If it doesn't have the coolest tournaments, mini games, and the most breathtaking design, nope, not a bingo. If your bingo moment makes you feel so excited that you just want to burst in joy and scream out loud, bingo.

[Nathan Fillion]

Sorry.

[Flula Borg]

So you're playing Bingo Blitz. Now that's a bingo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Cover a world of excitement with Bingo Blitz, the number one free bingo game.

[Flula Borg]

Download Bingo Blitz and play for free. Now that's a bingo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north. And this year, he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now, you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Flula Borg]

$45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first 3 month plan only. Taxes and fees extra small speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited. See mintmobile.com for details.

[Unknown]

Greetings, travelers. Did you know that this year marks the 50th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons? Well, to celebrate passing our collective history check, we're making some of our favorite D and D adventures available as podcasts for the very first time. As always, you can find video versions of these adventures on YouTube.com geekandsundry but also make a perception check because we might have some other fun surprises coming down the pipeline. And I'm not talking about gelatinous cubes. I hope.

[Flula Borg]

This is. This is really fun. We're doing a segment for Nerdist that we call Celebra dd where we have celebrities play Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I heard about this.

[Michael Rooker]

You know what we're doing?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. We're taking you on a D and D adventure. Ooh.

[Michael Rooker]

Serious?

[Flula Borg]

No.

[Nathan Fillion]

Hi, Riley.

[Michael Rooker]

Hello, Riley. What's up, guys?

[Flula Borg]

How are you doing?

[Michael Rooker]

Doing okay. How you doing, Nathan? How you doing?

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm doing good. These days are always so exciting. I get to see your faces and I get. We got. We get to talk about this project, like show and tell, because I'm very excited for the world to see it. I'm excited to have a piece of it. And just seeing your faces reminds me of the time I had film in it, which was fun. I love my job. I love my drink.

[Flula Borg]

Well, we're gonna do a brief break from the show and tell here because do y'all know what we're doing here for this segment of the junket. Okay. This is really fun. We're doing a segment for Nerdist that we call Celebra dd where we have celebrities play Dungeons and Dragons.

[Nathan Fillion]

Yes, I heard about this.

[Michael Rooker]

You know what we're doing? Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

We're taking you on a D and D adventure.

[Michael Rooker]

Serious? No.

[Nathan Fillion]

Have you done this?

[Riley]

Okay.

[Michael Rooker]

I've never played this game before.

[Nathan Fillion]

You're gonna be so good at this.

[Flula Borg]

Well, now you'll never be able to say again, I haven't played dd. So, Michael, the it's gonna work, basically, is I'm going to lead you on an improvised adventure that is going to use dice as a randomizer. Now, I don't know if they gave you dice rollers. If they didn't, that's fine. I can roll dice for you. That's all right.

[Michael Rooker]

You get to roll for me.

[Flula Borg]

This is gonna be wild. It's gonna be random. We're gonna see where it goes, and I'm gonna have fun. I hope y'all have fun, too.

[Michael Rooker]

Let's do it.

[Nathan Fillion]

Wait.

[Michael Rooker]

What are you waiting for? Come on.

[Flula Borg]

So I got three characters for you. You're all gonna be goblins. Because I thought that was fitting for what's happening with today. And we're talking about. So I think, Michael, I'm going to give you the barbarian. That's kind of the easiest one. It's just brute strength. You're going to be the tough guy. You're going to be the guy who's got a lot of strength, and you're going to use a lot of force for your decision making. Do you think you can handle that?

[Michael Rooker]

I do in normal life. So I'm good.

[Flula Borg]

And then I got a rogue and a druid. So which one of you wants to cast some magic?

[Riley]

Nathan? Pick it.

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm the druid.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. Nathan's a druid, and Flua, you're gonna be the rogue. So I'll roll for y'all. I have your seats in front of me. Pretty simple, stripped down version of the game. So what's gonna happen is I'm just gonna put a series of scenarios in front of you. I'll let you. You'll kind of improvise as your characters, and then we will figure out what's gonna happen from there. So first thing I want you to do is to think of a name for your character. So, Michael, what's the name of your barbarian goblin?

[Riley]

How about.

[Michael Rooker]

Ar?

[Flula Borg]

Arnold. Got it. You are now Arnold the goblin. Perfect. All right, Nathan, what do you Got for me for your druid.

[Nathan Fillion]

Jolene.

[Flula Borg]

Jolene.

[Nathan Fillion]

Yeah. Jolene. Jolene Glaplock.

[Flula Borg]

Jolene Glaplock. Yeah. Don't take my van, though. Okay. All right. And then. And then flew. What we got for you for your. Your rogue?

[Riley]

My robe.

[Flula Borg]

Rogue. You're like. If you like a. Like, think of like a goblin, like, essentially a suicide squad. You're a rogue. You're. You're a scoundrel. You sneak around.

[Riley]

I've just taken a shower, and so I'm just.

[Michael Rooker]

Rogues don't take showers.

[Nathan Fillion]

Robes like, rogues gallery, like, so lots of robes.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Riley]

Bloopsy is the name of my robe. Bloops spelled with two zeros, not O's, and there's not an E. It's BL00PSI, like, per square inch. Bloopsie the rogue.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. Bloopsy the Rogue.

[Riley]

100% cotton.

[Flula Borg]

So, okay, I'm gonna start you. I'm playing a character to begin with. I'll be playing any characters you encounter throughout the little mini campaign we're gonna do here. So the first character that you're gonna meet from me is a character named Klarg. Klarg is your boss. He is what's called a bugbear. He's kind of like a bigger, hairier goblin. He's about 6 foot tall, just covered in fur, nasty old pointy ears. He's always wearing, like, nasty. Just like armor that's probably stolen from somebody else's dead body at some point. Never cleaned afterwards.

[Michael Rooker]

He's got a scent about him. We sense him before he gets there. Right?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. He has a musk. Yeah. You know that Clark smell? You're hanging out in the goblin break room. You know, when the boss is coming, you don't have to, like.

[Michael Rooker]

I got that. I got skunk two times in a row in one night. So I know how that smells.

[Nathan Fillion]

I was there for that.

[Michael Rooker]

We're there that night.

[Riley]

Yes.

[Michael Rooker]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

So Clark has called you into his office, which is just a cave, and he says, I gotta. I got a mission for you. Oh, let's do it.

[Nathan Fillion]

I do the secret handshake coin from the bet we had last week, and.

[Flula Borg]

I'm like, all right, Nathan, I'm going to have you. I'm going to roll for you on that. I'm going to have a slip. You're slipping him a coin. So I'm going to have you do what's called a sleight of hand check. So I'm going to roll a D20 and see what's happening? See what happens here. We're going to add a one. Your sleight of hand is plus one. So we're going to see how well you are able to slip this coin in without your friends seeing it. All right, so you rolled a 12. I'm going to say it's pretty smooth. But if anyone's looking, I'm going to say especially our friend Bloopsy here. With Bloopsy's perception as a rogue, as someone who is good at keeping an eye on things, Bloopsy. You notice a coin just exchanged hands between your buddy here and your boss? What do you think about that?

[Riley]

Hey, Jolene. And also, Claug, I observated a coin. What denomination? And may I have a piece?

[Nathan Fillion]

Oh, don't even worry about it. That's just a little thing I lost a bet to Clark last week. I'm just paying up.

[Riley]

Great. Sounds good.

[Nathan Fillion]

Listen, Clark, we're all hard up for a little cash, if you know what I mean. And we need a job. What do you think?

[Flula Borg]

Here's the job. We got these. We got these two idiots coming by on a horse. There's a dwarf named Gundren, Rockseeker and his buddy Sildar. They're carrying some goods. I need you to kidnap them, then bring them back here.

[Michael Rooker]

So you want that? You want the humans and the dwarf back?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Don't kill them.

[Nathan Fillion]

Do we get good? Catch them alive if you.

[Flula Borg]

Any goods they're carrying. But they have a map. I need the map.

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, I need the map.

[Flula Borg]

And the living dwarf.

[Michael Rooker]

Right.

[Flula Borg]

You do whatever you want with.

[Michael Rooker]

Excellent.

[Flula Borg]

I gotta warn you. They got some buddies coming down the road after them. You ain't gonna be able to handle them. So you want to get them kidnapped and get back here quickly.

[Michael Rooker]

How many buddies they got coming?

[Flula Borg]

Probably about three or four.

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, God.

[Nathan Fillion]

You many? That's too many for us. We're just gone three or four buddies.

[Michael Rooker]

Three or four is just getting me warmed up.

[Riley]

We got honored on our team. I like those guys.

[Nathan Fillion]

I want this mission going smooth. I don't want anybody getting hurt.

[Michael Rooker]

You're going to have to maybe add maybe 30 more to that, and then we're thinking here. Then we're cooking. Let's go get it.

[Flula Borg]

Well, I don't want a road full of bodies. I want two people brought back here alive. That's what I want.

[Michael Rooker]

You're cutting out all the fun, kiddo. That's the fun part, Leaving the bodies.

[Nathan Fillion]

Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, relax. Listen. Settle down. This is A surgical strike. I know just what to do. This.

[Michael Rooker]

Surgical strikes aren't my deal. You go do your surgical strikes.

[Nathan Fillion]

You come with me.

[Michael Rooker]

I'll watch your back door.

[Nathan Fillion]

Come on, we're gonna. Let's get out of here. We got. These guys are coming right now. We gotta go.

[Michael Rooker]

I'll watch your back door.

[Flula Borg]

Time is of the essence here. Look, they'll probably chase you here, and then you can kill them all you want.

[Nathan Fillion]

All right, we're ready. We're ready to hit this mission.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, great.

[Riley]

Let's do it.

[Nathan Fillion]

I've done this before. It's called the switcheroo. With my Druid magic, I just create a path. It's basically a side path in the road in the woods, and I obscure the actual road. So where they're actually going, they will be diverted into an ambush where we await them.

[Riley]

I will help you.

[Flula Borg]

I will.

[Riley]

My robe will hide the other path.

[Michael Rooker]

Beautiful.

[Nathan Fillion]

Perfect. We're going to use. We're going to. Let's. Let's use. Let's go with that. We're going to go with that idea. Use your robe to help obscure the other path. Yeah, I will divert with my magics. I'll create a path, make them think that they're on the right path.

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, beautiful. Should I.

[Nathan Fillion]

Even if they're friends, should I jump.

[Michael Rooker]

Out and create a diversion once they're past?

[Nathan Fillion]

I want you to get that rope down so that if their buddies come, their. Their buddies are. They're gone. They can't even if they want to help. You know what I mean?

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, but why? I don't get to fight them. They don't get to follow us. I'm gonna jump out, create a diversion, and allow them to follow us after you guys move on forward. Yeah, and they'll follow me. And then when we get them back to where we need to have them, I get to kill them.

[Riley]

Okay, and then. Then I'll open up my road.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, wait, so if I. If I understand the plan here. The plan is that, Jolene, you were gonna create a fake path to trick them. Yes. And bloop. C, you're gonna essentially flash them out of your robe. And then when you're doing that, Arnold, you're gonna jump out and you're gonna attack them.

[Nathan Fillion]

Well, he's using his robe to obscure the other path.

[Flula Borg]

You're using the robe. Okay, so your robe is like camouflage Extra. Okay, that's right.

[Michael Rooker]

But I'm gonna jump out and cause a diversion after he's created his path, and they will follow me after These guys scurry along after they've kidnapped the guy. Eventually, the guys think they're going on the right path anyway. We're not really kidnapping. We're just tricking them. Right?

[Flula Borg]

Okay. Yeah.

[Riley]

And then I would open my robe. I would open it, and everyone can watch it.

[Michael Rooker]

You open it, and they will come.

[Riley]

Oh, but field of dreams. It's my field of dreams.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. All right, so y'all head down. There's a path that leads to this clearing where these people are gonna be coming through. So, Jolene, how are you? What are you doing magic wise to redirect this path?

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm calling on my abilities as a Druid to influence the growth of plants and trees. I'm going to open a path and kind of use that energy to kind of balance out, because you got to take and give energy when you're dealing with plants. So I'm basically going to just pull some growth from one area. Landscaping is what I mean.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. You have a spell that is on your sheet that is called entangle. And what that spell usually does is let plants grow up that will grab people and pull them and hold them in place. So I'm going to say that you cast your spell of entangle, and what that does is it causes a block in the path so that if people come through, they get caught up in it. So they're going to try to go around that to avoid that. Right. Nice.

[Nathan Fillion]

This is working out great. What's my role?

[Flula Borg]

And then Bloopsy. You are what? Describe your robe. You're a big fan of this robe. So what does it look like to you? Describe what Bloop Bloopsie looks like and what his robe looks like.

[Riley]

A bloopsie is a robe which has some loopies. Some loopies where you can put the rope around so you can hide all of the downtown places. But if you want to show that or if you just want to spread the wings and fly away, you can just open it up. And then that is a magic power, because I have a robe.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. We'll say it's a stealth check. Cause you were trying to disguise yourself and hide as if you are a bit of path that's blocking the way. But you're actually a robe. Yes, that's correct.

[Riley]

I'm a robe.

[Flula Borg]

Great. You are a robe. We have that. Definitely. You are Bloopsy the robe. Are you made of terrycloth? What are you made of?

[Riley]

I'm made of, you know. Have you slept before in a sleeping bag?

[Flula Borg]

I have slept in A sleeping bag? Yes.

[Nathan Fillion]

Flannel. He's a flannel robe.

[Riley]

Flannel robe, Yeah. I think early 90s Nirvana concert. Unbuttoned shirts. That is my robe.

[Flula Borg]

Flannel shirt. Got it.

[Nathan Fillion]

Like a sleeping bag. Is it also down? Is there down filled? Is there feathers?

[Riley]

I'm down for anything. As you pro, I will. Whatever you want. It's happening.

[Michael Rooker]

That's my Bloopsie. That's my Bloopsie.

[Riley]

That's what bloopsie do as they say.

[Flula Borg]

So yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and make for you, Bloopsie. I'm gonna make a stealth check to see how well you are able to pass yourself off as a bit of foliage so that people think there's not a road there. Okay, so you're stealth. You have proficiency in stealth. Being a rogue robe, you have a plus five. This roll. I'm gonna roll a D20. We're gonna see what you got here. Okay, Bloopsy, you just got what we call in Dungeons and dragons a natural 20. Which means that on a 20 sided.

[Michael Rooker]

Dice 20 or some like that, right?

[Riley]

I can tell you why I know this. My dad and my mom, zero work done. Both natural tens. So that does make sense.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I can see that. So you, you are shockingly good at passing as nature for being a sentient robe. You somehow, even though you're made of flannel, you just happen to have the exact right color of this natural trail. Just the flannel that you have has little bits of green and some brown in it. So these people coming up, they think that there's just a bunch of bushes and stuff there. It's just a robe, it's just a rope.

[Riley]

It's just.

[Flula Borg]

You don't even know. You have created a robe. Now you, Jolene, you have created some tangled up weeds. Now, Arnold, this might be your time to shine. We have got ourselves two people riding horses here. You're a big, strong, tough dude. What are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna capture them alive?

[Michael Rooker]

Well, no, I just jump out in between the horses, I grab their reins, their mouthpieces, and I put them in a semi half headlock and I lead them my way.

[Flula Borg]

All right, all right. I like this move. I'm going to give you what's called a. I'm going to have you roll for strength because you're strong, you're big, you're beefy, and because you are a barbarian, you get a special ability called rage. And when you use your rage, you get to add, you get to roll with advantage on strength checks, which means that I'm going to roll the dice for you twice and take the higher of the two rolls.

[Riley]

This makes so much sense.

[Flula Borg]

All right, so we're gonna roll this. So rolling. 20.

[Riley]

Riley, while you're rolling, where are you from? I've heard the delicious word y'all emanate from you. Please tell me your origins.

[Flula Borg]

I am from the state of Ohio. That sounds a very yawl. The Midwest is fairly ill. Buckeye State. That's correct. Are you from the. Are you from Ohio, Michael?

[Michael Rooker]

I'm Chicago.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, Midwest. All right. All right, let's see here. It's. It's a delightful state. We've got a chili and stuff. It's good. Michael, you got yourself a. I rolled a 16 on the dice plus your strength, which is a three. So you've got yourself a 19. So I'm gonna say you succeeded and you were able to slam these two guys heads together and pull them off the horses. And they are now in your custody. And now what are you gonna do next?

[Riley]

Well, to celebrate, I'm making some of that famous Ohio chili to feed on.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, excellent.

[Michael Rooker]

We get a little funnel and put it down there. Put it down their gullets. And then they fill up their bellies. Their bellies are all filled up and then they. We use the gases that occur afterwards to speed us along.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Nathan Fillion]

We have a druid. This is why we have a druid. Keep these guys on task. Look, guys, Clark gave us a job. He wants the map and he wants the dwarf.

[Michael Rooker]

Got everything they have.

[Nathan Fillion]

First of all, I want them tied up and we need them searched.

[Michael Rooker]

I want that we tie them up before we feed them.

[Riley]

But, Jolene, they're flagellating now, Jolene, they're like two of the dogs.

[Flula Borg]

Never ending story.

[Riley]

They're just out of control.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, Jolene, I'm gonna ask you as a druid, how are you. How are you gonna tie these guys up so you can search them?

[Nathan Fillion]

Well, listen, we've got those vines from the entanglement right back there. I'm just gonna grab a couple of those. They're very strong. They've been imbued. So I'm just going to wrap them up with those kinds of things. I'm not going to do it personally. I'm going to have Arnold do it.

[Michael Rooker]

I'll just grab them by their ankles, flip them upside down, and I shake them and all this comes out.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, okay.

[Nathan Fillion]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

All right, I'm going to roll for. I'm going to roll for both of you. I'm going to roll for Jolene. I'm going to roll to see how well you're able to repurpose these vines as now ropes that you're going to tangle with. I'm going to say that's a survival roll and you are proficient in survival. So you're going to get a plus four on this RO. Let's see what you get here. That is an 18. So you are successfully able to take those ropes. I think you might want to give them to Bloopsy because if anyone knows how to use threads, it's a rope, right?

[Michael Rooker]

Yes.

[Nathan Fillion]

Ropes and loops and tying things up. You're absolutely right.

[Flula Borg]

And while you're doing that, your buddy Arnold is shaking this human and this dwarf and you're shaking them up trying to see if anything falls out of their pockets. Let's see what you got here.

[Michael Rooker]

Everything will come out.

[Flula Borg]

All right, so you got a 17 this time on the. Sorry. You got an 18 this time on your roll to shake them out. So you do indeed find a map. You also find the recipe for good old fashioned Ohio style Cincinnati chili. You find yourself a really fancy belt that might look nice with a good robe. It's not that belt, you know, like when you find a bro, you're like, you know, this isn't the belt that. Because you're always losing the belts that come with robes. Right. But now you have a new replacement belt.

[Michael Rooker]

Bam. And I.

[Riley]

Wonderful day. Thank you, Arnold. Thank you. And I'm excited to cook this very delicious Columbus based chili.

[Michael Rooker]

No, not Ohio.

[Nathan Fillion]

As far as next steps go. Because, guys, it feels like we've kind of achieved our goal. We've done everything except for hand these two guys over with the map, which was. Which was part of the.

[Michael Rooker]

Now we gotta proceed right now.

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm just wondering now, do we first maybe we talk to these guys and say, what's up? Why does someone want this map? And why does someone want this dwarf so, so bad?

[Michael Rooker]

What's. Maybe we can play two angles here. I mean, if it's worth our knowing this information, maybe we can hold the other folks that we're delivering them to a little bit in ransom and we can get a little bit more money out of it.

[Riley]

Great. Let's play. I've heard of this role. Good robe, bad robe. I'll be good robe.

[Michael Rooker]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Hey, guys, how's it going?

[Michael Rooker]

I'll be bad robe. I can have like a little robe as well. Not like A robe, but a really scratchy kind of animal covering or something.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. I'm gonna say you're making what's called an intimidation check because you're playing bad robe and you're trying to scare them with your strength. And you've got. I'm also giving you advantage on this roll, which means I'm gonna roll twice and take the better of the two rolls because you got your good robe here helping you out and adding to the intimidation techniques. So this is really good teamwork on all three of your parts, I wanna say. By the way, thank you.

[Michael Rooker]

Of course. We are. We are a team.

[Flula Borg]

All right, well, we got another 18 on the dice for that one. We got 15 plus three. So you. The guy, you are shaking, this dwarf, he was knocked out, but you actually shake him so much playing bad robe, that you wake him back up again. I think it's the smell of that skunk that you got on you. It's like. It's like smelling salts. Brings him right back up again, and he's like, what do you want with us?

[Michael Rooker]

Well, you know what I need to do? I need to give him a little squirrel squeeze. I gotta squeeze their little heads and squeeze out all the information they have.

[Flula Borg]

So your plan is to crush his head to get the information inside of it?

[Michael Rooker]

I'm not. I don't mean crush. I mean just.

[Nathan Fillion]

Your plan is escalate slowly. Escalating torture?

[Michael Rooker]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Well, you already got a pretty high intimidation, so I'm not going to make you re roll for this. I think that this is successful. I think this is a pretty solid strategy. I know that if a big burly goblin grabbed me and started squeezing my head for a long period of time, I would be pretty intimidated.

[Nathan Fillion]

What do you want to know? We want to know where does it lead to? What's at the end of the map?

[Flula Borg]

Money.

[Michael Rooker]

Money is at the end of the map. We might be able to get more money from both parties.

[Riley]

Oh, and while you guys question, I'll be on the floor with my robe open, and then you can just hold his head. And the answers will squeeze and drizzle into the road while you're talking.

[Flula Borg]

Typical interrogation scene that we've seen a thousand times. You're right.

[Riley]

A thousand times.

[Flula Borg]

Seen it once. I've seen it over and over again.

[Riley]

PETEY BLUE Season 2 Episode 4 hello. Where'd you think Bloopsy came from?

[Flula Borg]

All right, so, Jolene, you started asking some questions, right? What's your first question? Because the other two are on the. They're on the brute strength aspect of it, but you seem to be the one who has actual questions to ask.

[Nathan Fillion]

So I want to know what is the importance of this map? Where does it lead? Why do. Why does someone want you so badly? What's. I want to know what's going on.

[Flula Borg]

This is the map to the lost mine of Phandelver. My family is Fandelgar. Fandelver. Yeah, doy.

[Nathan Fillion]

Okay, now, why do we need. Then why do. If we have the map, why do we need the dwarf? What's so important about you?

[Flula Borg]

Well, you need my blood to open the. Open the mind, so.

[Michael Rooker]

That's easy.

[Riley]

I'm catching it right now.

[Flula Borg]

It's fresh blood. No, you can't just kill me and bottle it now and take it to. No, that's not how that works. No, you got to keep me alive.

[Michael Rooker]

We'll keep you alive. We don't even have to kill you after we take your blood.

[Nathan Fillion]

Guys, guys, guys. Huddle up. Huddle up.

[Flula Borg]

Listen.

[Nathan Fillion]

We bring one word and this dwarf in to our boss. Glap. Lock.

[Flula Borg]

Black. Yeah.

[Riley]

Bloop is black.

[Flula Borg]

Wait, no. Jolene. You're glad. Lock. That's your. That's your last name.

[Nathan Fillion]

Okay, that seems so familiar.

[Michael Rooker]

Come closer so we can whisper. Think Italian filmmaker.

[Nathan Fillion]

We'll make a little bit of money for handing these guys in the map over. I think we could make a lot more money for whatever the map leads to. And whatever his elf, this dwarf's blood opens. I think our best plan.

[Michael Rooker]

Agree. So we do. We. We go along with it until we decide. Okay. We're gonna take whatever's in this mine and take it for ourselves.

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm on board. I think this is. Colonel, I think you've got this.

[Riley]

And then I'm gonna open up on my robe.

[Michael Rooker]

Yeah.

[Nathan Fillion]

I think this is the plan. I think we're all playing to our strengths here. Okay, Break. Break.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, so the plan that I understand is that you're gonna go to the mine yourselves and we're going to the mine with everyone. Okay?

[Nathan Fillion]

We're bringing him along. We gotta bring along that dwarf because we need his blood.

[Flula Borg]

And you're gonna open your robe. Gotcha.

[Riley]

I'm gonna open my robe. Just to be clear.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. I'm gonna say that in the time that you have spent talking about this, you have eaten up the clock of when Gundren and his buddies. Backup are coming. The three or four people that you were warned about earlier. We're gonna wrap this up with a little bit of combat. And so they have now arrived they are pulling a big old cart. So you've got four people that are running up to you, and they have found the two horses on the ground that you've pulled these guys off of, and now they're running towards you with swords and arrows, and they're ready to go. What do you do, Arnold?

[Michael Rooker]

He opens his robe. I take a running leap, and I turn as a log, and I roll right underneath their feet and knock them off their feet and all jump on top of this and subdue them.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, I'm gonna start with you then.

[Michael Rooker]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, here. So we actually had. That was only an 8 to attack, so no problem, Arnold. You go for it. But I think what happens if you step on a little bit of mud, you go right down into the dirt, and you don't manage to make your. Your bowling pin strategy work out with these guys. Jolene, what's your attempt? What are you gonna try to do to stop these guys? You, by the way, you're. You can attack. You can do your entangle, or you actually have a magic stick that you can attack with. That's pretty tough. And you also have the ability to. To use a whip of thorns to attack, if you want to do that. Joey.

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, my God. You guys saved my ass.

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna start right in there with that whip of thorns, I think.

[Flula Borg]

All right.

[Nathan Fillion]

Or a little bit of. Make sure something's. It smarts. It's gotta see how this goes.

[Riley]

And then I'll open up my robe.

[Flula Borg]

You got yourself that. That robe is open. That robe closes, it opens again. It's a real revolving. It's a revolving door with this robe here. I am gonna say you get advantage of this attack because of that robe. So let's go ahead and say. All right. Yeah, you got yourself an 18 to attack with the magic thorn whip. So I say you describe for me, Nathan, how. How Jolene throws this whip out and how it takes down one of these people.

[Nathan Fillion]

Well, it's kind of a swirling motion, but when it. When it. When it goes out, what we're getting is one of those wrap around. And I'm getting, like, a full wrap on four guys. And if I. Because they're distracted, they're looking down at Arnold right now. And as I. As it. As I'm pulling, it's also contracting, so it's. It's scraping little stinging nettles.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. Yeah. I think with that roll that you got with the. With the. The help you were getting from your robe buddy here, and. And from the aid of Arnold just eating it right in front of them. I think that you got it. I think you succeeded. So I think you have now managed to wrap up these four people, and they are now wrapped up in a Thorn Whip. And what do you want to do with them?

[Nathan Fillion]

I'm gonna say, arnold, we can't afford these guys coming after us again, so.

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, well, please. They're all wrapped up. Now all I have to do is just step on their little noggins.

[Nathan Fillion]

Oh, I was gonna say talk to them and convince them not to follow. You do your thing. I'm not gonna micromanage.

[Flula Borg]

I think. I think you're saying that Jolene, as Arnold has already stepped on one of their heads.

[Riley]

Oh, no.

[Nathan Fillion]

And that. Okay, well, now we can't have witnesses.

[Michael Rooker]

No, they're little grapes anymore. They're known. They're no longer heads with think.

[Nathan Fillion]

I feel it'll help us to stop what's already kind of happening. And it looks like he's having so much fun.

[Riley]

We cannot have witnesses. Okay, so I will. I've killed. I will kill myself with my rope. So I've now suffocated myself.

[Nathan Fillion]

You're good.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, wow.

[Nathan Fillion]

You're good. You're good. When I say, everybody, drop your weapons, the assumption is that you're on my team. You guys keep your weapons.

[Riley]

Oh, but I'm. Technically, I'm a witness. If I were to testify, I. So I should.

[Nathan Fillion]

Well, because we're goblins. You can't be.

[Flula Borg]

All right. I. I believe that what happened here was that slowly, Arnold worked his way through popping the heads off each of these people that were being held up by Jolene's Thorn Whip. Now, Bloopsy, where did you land on. On surviving this encounter? Did you decide you're gonna stick with them, or did you decide you were gonna take your out of the equation?

[Riley]

I've committed suicide with my robe. And so just. I don't want to testify against my friends, so I'm dead.

[Michael Rooker]

Wow.

[Flula Borg]

So do you go back to Klarg, or do you go off with yourselves and this dwarf and this map and try to find the treasure for yourself?

[Michael Rooker]

You know what? Treasure? And we go.

[Nathan Fillion]

Listen, now that Bloopsie's dead, I've kind of lost heart a little bit.

[Michael Rooker]

You're still Canadian. Come on, Hop on. Hop on my back. I'll kill you.

[Nathan Fillion]

I've suffered so much loss. I don't want to. I don't want to have. I'm just going to wrap up this job, and when I bring these Guys in. I put the map down and the dwarf down. I'm going to say I'm out. I mean, at this time.

[Riley]

Nice.

[Michael Rooker]

Oh, my God, that's beautiful. I pick up the God dang map. I pick up that map and I take it and I put it in my little pocket and I walk off a happy camper. I'm the only win, win situation in this situation, you guys.

[Flula Borg]

And I'll be calling after you, Arnold, you don't know how to read.

[Michael Rooker]

What a waste. You commit suicide and you, you go back to Ottawa. Give me a break. Unbelievable.

[Nathan Fillion]

It's a beautiful city, sir.

[Flula Borg]

So as we. As we wrap on this adventure, we leave with Arnold wandering the hillside endlessly trying to find the where this map leads to. We end with Jolene going back. What is. What does Jolene do in their retirement?

[Nathan Fillion]

He wasn't really planning. He thought it was just gonna be a job like any other. And he just. He lost so much. He's just gonna be, you know, tossing back, you know, fermented honey in little mushroom cups, talking about his glory days. I was somebody once.

[Flula Borg]

And that is where we will end our adventure. With a dead robe, a dead on the inside goblin, and another goblin who will never find the cave. Thank you, gentlemen so much for this ridiculous, ridiculous encounter.

[Nathan Fillion]

Riley, thank you for putting up with us.

[Riley]

Thank you for.

[Flula Borg]

My pleasure. That's all the time we have. Thank you again to Flula Borg, Michael Rooker, and Nathan Fillion. And make sure you go see the Suicide Squad in theaters on August 6th.

[Michael Rooker]

Riley, do you think they'll be able to use any?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I think we stopped a while ago, but that's fine. I'm having fun if you're having fun.

[Unknown]

Realms of Peril and Glory.

[Flula Borg]

From one shots to campaigns, indie games to established titles.

[Unknown]

Join Liz, Laura, Zach, James, Maddie, Naomi and Pim.

[Flula Borg]

I wrote the Natural 20.

[Nathan Fillion]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

And a rotating cast of incredible guests. I am Johnny Chiadini. Jasper William Cartwright. Grant Howitt, Sharmini Bundle as we weave thrilling new stories with gorgeous sound design and beautiful original music.

[Unknown]

Search Realms of Peril and Glory. Wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Flula Borg]

You should.

[Unknown]

Listen to the Gamestop Biz Microcast.

More people are playing games than ever before. They've never been more popular. And the business behind it is facing some real challenges and changes.

There's been tens of thousands of layoffs, hundreds of studio closures as major companies face rising costs and falling sales.

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And then there's the desperate wait for Switch 2 and GTA 6. And that's just 2024.

Two leading business journalists with a combined 35 years of experience offer you a weekly guide through all of this and more.

I'm Christopher dring, head of GamesIndustry Biz.

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The most important stories, expert guests, exclusive.

Market data and all in less than 30 minutes. Usually the games really dot biz microcast every Monday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Nothing is as it seems in liminal London. Hidden amongst everyday people are werewolves.

[Nathan Fillion]

You'll be the werewolf then.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah? Megs Wizards Montgomery Archibald Barker at your bloody service.

[Unknown]

And those cursed by the fey monarchs of the city.

[Flula Borg]

Declan Buchanan, PI he has quite a large pair of antlers growing out of his forehead.

[Unknown]

Join the unlikely misfits of Liminal London as they work to take down the powers that claim to rule the city.

[Michael Rooker]

I think the Queen doesn't like you.

[Unknown]

Very much with incredible guest players like Johnny Chiadini.

[Michael Rooker]

Sludge?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Sludge. Yeah.

[Riley]

I'm the sludge boy.

[Nathan Fillion]

F ing love.

[Flula Borg]

Sludge boy.

[Riley]

No, again, I'm not that sludge boy.

[Unknown]

Grant Howitt.

[Riley]

Isaac Newton didn't study and f Putney did He?

[Flula Borg]

Whose Isaac?

[Unknown]

Oh my God.

And Sharmini Bundell.

[Flula Borg]

There's a magic community. There is. Yay. I'm in a magic community.

[Unknown]

Go to realmspod.com or search realms of peril and glory wherever you listen to podcast to find this mysteriously magical actual play series.