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When you wake up in a morgue with a lone zombie half the river in your boots and about 10,000 apples, it's apparent this isn't going to be just a normal day shift. Out of your depth and with no official backup, you head into your beloved city to investigate the fiery destruction of a lone tea shop. And step on as many toes as you can as you go download the demo of Esoteric Ebb on Steam Today. A CRPG coming soon from Christopher Beaudegaard and Raw Fury. Moonlight Maps has joined with Lost Odyssey to raise the bar for at the table adventure. Traverse across realms and bring your own games to the next level. With hundreds of unique TTRPG battle map books and packs, new encounter cards and DIY map building sets for quests of all kinds, Heroforge is the leader in personally designed custom miniature creation. And now with Lost Odyssey, they're bringing our all star player cast to the table for extra life. Miniature inspires Adventure Perfect uniformity Long born sterile Quick slow swirl along port pipping speed sud remark make syncophantic Toga varalis globe wheel coral coy copper crown glow tight Send off line nowhere on parameter Cross bound pick torn head show and rearrange the second bend line pull signal hook plug into the normal height Keep no wise exposed Stand by and kill through the ages as war and destruction spread across the world, new heroes must choose to rise from nothing. A beginning for the faded as destiny falls at your feet. Welcome, welcome to Lost Odyssey. Godfall. Godfall. We begin on a warm summer day. You are all members of the First Guard. First, a military organization of Absalom to defend it against outside invaders. But as new graduates, you have not been assigned inside the jeweled city of Absalom. Instead, you are in the logging settlement of Maravan. Oh, of course, you are at a fort called Fort Scattery. But you have learned that the other soldiers who have been assigned here over the years have given it the name of Fort Scratch. And when you see the monotonous tally marks that they have made on the walls counting their days here, you realize where that name has come from. Nothing has ever happened at Fort Scratch. But here you are. You've only been here a few days. You constitute the entire regiment at Fort Scratch. You and your commander, a man named Willoughby. And so here on this day, one of you is up in the small makeshift Watchtower, keeping watch during the day. Who do you think that might be? Who might be on watch today? I'll take it. I think that definitely seems great. Great. And when we all look up at that watchtower, who do we see? We see a squat, broad shouldered, green scale, teal scaled kobold who is armored in semi rusted chainmail with a large, by his standards, great axe. Probably a standard size axe by any other entity that he leans upon. But upon his armor, he also wears a large vest that hangs loosely on it. He either probably won in a gambling game or stole off somebody when they were sleeping. And cuffs, no sleeves, just cuffs that hang loosely on it. And he sits at the top of that tower looking over. The wind hitting his eyes. And he blinks a bit and goes, something's gonna happen today. I tell you something's gonna happen. Nice. And I have two things to give you. One is pass that down. And the other is, you will start with one hero point. All right, so. And then somebody else I think would be tending the livestock. You don't have any horses here, but you do have some cows and chickens. Who would be tending the livestock today. You wanna do it? You wanna do it? Yeah. Okay. I wanna go second, but I'll. I can do it. I'll take care of those goats. Yeah, I'm there. Okay. Yes. And I'm practicing throwing corn at the goat's buttholes. Just to be clear. That's what I'm doing. Okay. Excellent. And I'm flirting. For what larger purpose? Because I'm bored and I hate being here. I gotcha. Excellent. Excellent. All right. And so when our kobold barbarian is looking down from the watchtower and sees you there, who does he see? He's seeing Sylph Bellincour. And she is an elf with kind of, you know, kind of tan skin. She has braids that are wrapped around her head pretty sloppily. Her outfit is kind of ragged, but she has a sort of keen look in her eye. She has really nice profile. She draws her own profile. She says so herself. Yeah, exactly. She knows. She knows exactly what she can do. She dressed in very dark clothing and she's extremely angry about being here. Okay. So she takes it out on the goats. Not to injure the goats. She's not a sadist. But she does just want to practice keeping up her roguish aim. So she's just. Excellent. All right. And I think I have a little. I have a mini here. That beautiful thing. It's really good. It's good, right it's really good. The braids aren't there, but everything else is there. Oh, wow. It matches your hair. I love it. Did I mention she's an auburn haired guy? Yeah. All right. And we will also be giving you one hero point. You can get that anytime you choose. Excellent. What was your name again tonight? Oh, Gentros. Gentros? Gentros? Gentros. Excellent. It can't be Gent if you want, but Gentros is usually what I'd go by. Nice. All right. And then somebody else has the very important task of chopping the firewood. Who do we think that might be today? I can do that. Okay, great, great. And who do we see there? Yeah. Stop scribbling my notes about my companions. Yes. And you see Palanon. Combination of names because one didn't work. Who is a six. Five. Elf. Okay. Who is six foot six? That's a lot. It's a lot of elf. Tall elf. He's not men's. Men's. Elsewhere else. Listen, in my part of the world, the elves are very tall. Yeah. It's small for my size. Okay, okay, okay. All right. That's fine. And you know, I often got made fun of, but it's okay. I've learned to rise above that. And also I have special skills because I'm taller. So that makes me very good at protecting people because I can see threats from far away. I am a cleric, but I am also a sword and shield wielding protector of all whom I travel with. Wearing green. Long green tunic, robe, cloak thing with some brown. No, no, it's brown with some green trees. Very tall trees around as I'm imagining there are. Yes. Green blended with the trees. Yes. What do you smell like? What? Y'all smell like forest. I have not heard that question at the table before. I'm amazed. Smells like forest. All right, here you are. Your sweet big ass sword there. Oh yeah, that's a two hander for sure. But I. I can do it one handed. Okay. If you need to. Yes. That's a humble brag right there. Yeah, I know. Well, elves. As you'll notice, we have high confidence levels. I like the turn of my cheek. He can do it with one hand. He can do it with one's hand. Very multi talented race or background. All right. And then so nearby for where he is, there's somebody who is tending your garden. You do have to supply own food and I thought it might be you. No, I am a plant. I'm actually just a little plant. And I have an acorn Head. Okay. With a little cap on it. And everything else is just kind of wavy, planty loams. And then there's a little mushroom, just a little mushroom fellow. His name's Mushy. Mushy? Mushy. And he just sort of hops around with me. I'm very small. How small? I'd say like a foot tall. A foot tall. Okay. Wow. Ada, are you the garden or you just pretty much. I'm pretty much the garden. And what gets a foot tall plant into the military? Oh, I just. I love going places and meeting new people and, you know, I feel like I just came into being, like, sentient, so I just want to learn about all the things. She's a baby. She's a baby. She's a very tiny baby. She's the only one I don't hate. Okay. What'd you say your name was? I'm Audrey. Audrey. Audrey what? Audrey. Now, you have to forgive us. I think if we made a figure to scale, it might get lost, but look at that. Goodness. Look at your staff. I love it. Pretty awesome. It's so good. Yeah. Okay. And then, I'm sorry, you're gonna need that. Okay. Okay. And then finally, generally speaking, one of you will take a turn sitting with your commander, Willoughby. Willoughby is 80 years old. He has actually been at Fort Scratch his entire career. He was assigned here 60 years ago. And one of you will generally sit with Willoughby so that he can regale you with his stories of his career, almost all of which involve chopping wood, gathering vegetables from the garden, and tending to the livestock, because nothing ever fucking happens here. What's his name again? Willoughby. Oh, he's. Oh. Oh, yeah. That's who. Yes. So I'm guessing it's you who's taking the turn to hear Willoughby's stories today. I will. Okay, excellent. And who is Willoughby speaking to? Well, he'll be speaking on sorts with a person called Bronwyn, who is very cool and. Elf. Half. Yeah, half elf. Leaves elf, AP school, half health, half human. About 5, 10, around there. Kind of hazel eyes with a little bit of shimmer in them. Grayish blackish hair. You know, whatever the figurine looks like. And then, well. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah. Ranger. So, you know, loves, loves them. Bows and arrows and hand crossbows. And crossbows. And has a familiar, which is a little cat. And her accent changes all the time. I'm getting a sense of that a little bit. Just like, a little bit here and there because she grew up in all parts of the whole region. So she kind of uses her accent abilities to get through situations. I like that very much. Can I ask one quick question? Yeah, yeah. What are you smelling? Oh, I smell like. I wanted to say teen spirit, but I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. No, I think kind of like a amber. Like a little bit of amber and frankincense. Okay, excellent. Well, here you are. Look, look. Look down there. Look at the cat. You got the cat. The cat. Does the cat have a. It's got a bunch. Yeah. That's what I hope. The cat is Katherine, I believe. Yes. Katherine. Is that with a C or. Katherine. It's with a K. Yeah, with a K. With a K. But yeah, when you shorten it to cat, it's still a cat. Yeah, with a K. And there is your hero. Oh, wow. I finally get one. Yeah. Yeah. Use it wisely. Okay you are. Sorry. So here you all are. The day, like any other day. And let's give. Let's start off with a perception check from everybody. Okay? Sure. No worries. We got this. Eh. I'm so good at it. You don't even know nothing. Nothing completely like an actual one on my first day. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Welcome to the table. Oh, dear. You're one foot tall. How can you see anything? I can't see anything through this grass. Yeah, yeah. 20. Yeah. Just give it a roll. Sylph has a. Can my mushroom make a perception check? Absolutely. Whoa. I guess I could do our 14. Okay. And you add your perception. Oh, yeah. Mushroom. Much more perception. Yeah. So that's 20. Well, not a match. 20. I have a sylph as a 14 plus 6, which would be 20. 20. Okay. Mushroom has 14. 14. Okay. Yeah. All right. And look, I'm in a tower. I have a very good views. It's true. With my five. Ah. I see everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. You actually are the very last to figure this out, and it's probably because you are up in the tower. Not no fault of your own, but those of you who are on the ground, especially you with the 20, you start to feel the ground shake underneath your hand. I was flicking the pieces of corn at the goats, and it starts to maybe on the ground, maybe tremble. Yeah, yeah. And the goats are reacting to it as well. They rolled very well on their perception checks. And. Yeah. And I say idiots. Idiots. I think there's something happening. Okay. Yeah. And you know, there have been earthquakes in this area. It's not unheard of, but that's 30 seconds, 45 seconds. A minute goes by. This is still happening. Now you are feeling it. This makeshift tower is starting to shake a little bit. I told you something's happening today. I was right. You did not say it. I said it first. Gentry, do not take my thing. Are you not a shared responsibility? You always do this to me. Oh, we're good teammates. I like it. Fellas, fellas, come on. You don't have to talk like this to each other. And above you. Above you. Now, you look up and the sky is starting to darken around you. I don't like that. Yeah, neither does my character. It's almost as if night is falling. But you look up and you see it's as if there was an eclipse happening. But instead of a body passing in front of the sun, it looks like something is actually spiraling out of the sun. This mote of blackness coming out and covering up the sun until the sky above you is dark. You can even see the stars here. In the middle of the day, the entire sky above you, I can see. Audrey. You're screwed. Photosynthesis is not going to happen again. Audrey, please get her some medicine or something. What are we going to do? It's your catchphrase. Excellent. Right? Right. And as you continue to watch now, those stars that were there for a moment are starting to be blocked out. But not because the sun has returned. They're being blocked out by an enormous figure. A figure of what looks like a man in Florida. Full plate mail with a full helmet on, taking up the sky above you. And you as a cleric, you recognize this figure immediately. This is your father's God. This is Gorum Goram, the Lord of Iron, the champion of victory and battle and courageous honor. Gorim, appearing above you in the sky. But this immortal God, this God that you have always been brought up to believe is undefeatable. There's something terribly wrong with him. There's a gash through his side. You can see it. Inconceivable that a God would have this kind of wound, but it's gushing blood above you. And as you watch, the wound seems to be growing larger. It grows and splits until Gorim's very body is breaking into pieces, the blood pouring down over you. And he breaks into a thousand shards like a pane of glass shooting out everywhere. And then, just like that, it's gone. The sun is back, shining a normal day. Shoek. The ground settles down beneath your feet. Willoughby, completely unaware that anything has happened, asks you for a drink of water. Willoughby. Okay. I would like to make a Religion check on the God gash. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh, it's a four. Sick, sick. Eight. Eight. Eight. Yeah. You've never heard of anything on my little tiny leaf legs. I want to run up over here to Palanon. Be like. Whoa. Did you see that? Yes. Whoa. Something I never thought I would see in my lifetime. Father would have. Father would be so heartbroken. I wanted to be here. I didn't have a dad. I'm sorry. It was okay. I know not what this means. His coming and his disappearing. But surely it was leading us somewhere. But I'm not crazy. No. Oh, here. Go. I saw it. I saw it. Everyone's seen it. I wouldn't say it's a good sign at all. I wouldn't say it's good. It doesn't feel good to me. Willoughby didn't even notice. What? Notice what exactly? Willoughby. My God. Please put him out of the pasture one day. Please. Please. Still up in the tower. Oh, I'm starting to climb down a little bit. I think I'm looking at my half eaten biscuit and seeing if it's real fuzzy. Maybe I ate something that's a little old. Because that was crazy, right? Yeah. And as you're starting to climb down, you take one last look up at the sky. And it is a clear day. But you do see one thing up there. Just one small dot that seems to be getting a bit larger. Oh, it's happening again. Down phrase. We got incoming. Gentaro, Are you seeing this? Are you seeing? I think I am. Finally, for the first time. Okay. I'm doing a perception of 17. 6. Yeah, you see it too. There is definitely something large falling out of the sky. Heading directly for your courtyard. I don't like that. Can I pick you up? Audrey? I need your consent. I would like to pick you up and leap into your arms. Okay. We are going to leave. Because this seems like really bad stuff. And I could care less if you want to come with us. Leave. Willoughby, tie him down. And we are gone. And I just start running into the forest. We are free. We are free. Audrey. Well, I suppose we should move out of the way of the falling object next. Willoughby. I'll protect you. Yeah. Jump in front of Willoughby. Oh, wait. Hold on. Just make sure you're paying close attention to how when I protect you and settling up the chain. I know how strong I was in this moment. I hold my axe ready to bat it whatever it is back. Yes. You're a green noser. You're such a green noser. So green. Yes. And as you do that, you see this object flying down, lands maybe 10ft from you in the courtyard, crashes down into the ground, leaving a crater where your fire pit usually is, this steaming hole in the ground. Okay. This Willoughby actually knows and is very grateful to you for moving him out of the way. Cool. Sir, at your disposal, sir. What do we do? Should we take a look at it? Ruler. Commanders. Yeah. Yes, Yes, I suppose I am. We will be. We secured the permanent. We're not deserting. Stop. From the house. Hurting. Excellent. Excellent. Yes, yes. Very secure. Yeah. Soldiers, forward. Chew the crater. Okay, let's go. And I'm gonna grab an apple and just start eating it and be kind of like. Kind of casually observing the whole thing. Okay. I'd like to see if it's natural or godlike or man made, like, as a plant. Could I tell if this is, you know. Do you mean the hole in the ground or the thing that. Okay, whatever. How big is it? The meteor or whatever it is? Okay, great. Yeah. So you come up to the edge of this. Of this crater that has, you know, dug a ditch through your courtyard, and in the middle of it, you. Let me ask you something. Do you say data or data? Well, at my house, we say da Ta. Like weird magicians. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. God, that would be a nightmare. What is a nightmare is actually thinking that paying a fortune for your monthly data plan is something normal and it's not. And I found that out when I found out about Mint Mobile and their premium wireless plans that start at just 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data or data, your choice, even though one is wrong. And unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. I ditched my overpriced wireless paying over $100 a month for my data plan. And now I got three months of premium wireless service for Mint mobile for just $15 a month. 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Not a plant. Giant. A giant helmet. Oh, thank you. So, metal house, really? Yeah. It is about. It is about six feet long, and it looks very familiar. It looks very much like the one that you saw Gorim wearing up in the sky. And here it is lying in this. An important question. Yes. Is there a head in it? That would be. That is a really good question. That's an awesome question. I think someone might have to climb down into the crater to find out. Yeah, I'll go down. Okay. Okay. So Audrey inches her way. I'm gonna, like. I'm gonna take, like, a seed pod and, like, a snowboard. Oh, that's so cute. Right down. I like that. Yeah. Keep it cute. Keep it cute. Because in she. She's the only one I tolerate. Okay. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Okay. So you get down there, and now you have a pretty good view of it. Like a skateboard. Oh, yeah. Cool. And no, the helmet seems to be empty. Oh, good news. There's no head. What'd she say? I don't. I didn't understand her that time. One more time. Good news. Yes. There's no head. Oh, actually, I heard it that time. There's no head. There's no head. Okay, good. I thought it was no hand. Okay, cool. Or hand. Also no hand. No hand. Yeah. For the record. Okay. Because usually with the head comes the hand. Okay. Okay. This is good, because one time I saw a whale beached on the beach, and it took weeks to. It's very stinky. Okay. Like a cheese you do not want to eat. Did it still have a head? The smell had a head on it. Of course. Okay. Okay. So. Yeah. So here's this helmet. It's. It's. It's enormous. It looks like it's glowing hot. Whoa. But you're close enough now that it's strange. You don't feel any heat coming to me. Something else falling? I'm going to approach. That's a really good question. We're two for two now. I'm a little nervous. Yeah. And, you know, and as you look up and look around, you do see not coming towards you, but off in the distance. You do see some little streaks of things falling in the sky all around you. Nothing nearby, but it's definitely very visible. Is it relevant to understand what it's made out of or. Oh, yeah, I like that. May I touch it to see if it's vibrating any energy or something? Yeah, just one hand. Yeah, you absolutely can. I mean, it looks like an iron helmet, but, you know, I climbed down into the. The night ago. Climb down into the small pit that's there and. Yep. Thank you. Approach the object. Thank you for your service, holy men. I'll protect you. Thank you. Goodbye. Oh, I'm going to come up to the edge. Thank you, Master Gendro. Thank you, Master Gendro. Be ready to pull out my bow. Are you maintaining the sort of casual attitude even though the apple's done? Yeah, yeah. Once the apple's done. I was. Guys, I was static. No, no. Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. I'm just watching. Eating up old Brunwin. You're. Yeah, but like, I finish it. I approach and I feel what I. What I feel is a vibration as I approach it, put my hand onto it. You're the red hot helmet. You're putting it in. Oh, it's red hot. Yeah. Well, I have a special helmet. It is a special. So I don't want to persuade you. I am about to touch it and I realize my sensory perception. Well, no, it is interesting because as you get close to it, you don't feel any heat. Oh, there we go. Yeah, it doesn't feel like heat, actually. It feels just like energy. So more of an energy form versus a heat form. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be safe. Can I do an Underworld lore, Like, I'm good at kind of surveying things and seeing what they would cost. What they would cost. Okay, like what I could fence them for. Thieving skills. I would go into it. Yeah. Who would take. Where would we take this? I will melt this down. We'll go somewhere else. God helmet. I mean. Well, it's good real estate. Continue. It's got like four people in there. That's true. A house like eight of her for you. Good boy. I'm going to roll. I got it. Gentro. Good. I got it. You got an 18? Oh, yes, I got an 18. Okay. With an 18, you know that anything, if it is truly from the gods, name your price. I mean, this would be. This is a priceless object. I want to melt it down. We cannot be traced. Listen, I'm telling you about fencing things. We must Dispose of this so no one knows it's valuable. We take whatever metal disease, we melt it down, we put it in bars, we open an inn somewhere near a seaside. You know, that would be beautiful. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So I think he said this means something to his dad. And I think that's important. I think God might be dead and we should maybe do something about that. Very insightful. Very insightful. Yeah. So. So what have you decided about touching? Not touching. What do you think? I'm approaching it, feeling the heat and what seems like steam. Also, my sense is not as hot as it seems to the body, but more energetically hot. And as I approach, I'm allowed to put my hand on the. You gonna try it? Yeah, I was trying to figure out where I was gonna put it on the helmet. I'm gonna put a supportive leaflet that's to ground me further. Thanks for that. Very nice. Very nice. Yeah. You put your hand on it and it feels like cold iron. But remarkably, as your hand makes contact with it, it starts to change size. It's shrinking very slowly. Down. The helmet or the hand? The helmet. Your hand is fine. My hand, now unknown as tiny hands tall. And his hand is so tiny. Fine with it. Guys, are you convincing this that I will like. That sucks. That would be fun. We'll all be wildly disfigured to the end of this. Yes. I'm here for it. The helm of transfiguration. I watch transfiguration, but it is definitely changing size. Are you staying in contact with. Yes. Okay, so you keep in contact. Feels like my hand is shrinking, but it's not. It actually looks like your hand is growing larger. My head is getting bigger. Leon's huge. Yeah. And very slowly, it continues to shrink until it reaches a size that looks perfect for your head. Oh, fantastic. Ooh, that's palatastic. And there it is. I laugh in astonishment and look around at everybody else. You're the only one paying attention. Attention. I'm saying put it on. I'm evaluating it. Somebody else paying attention? Oh, yes. Put it on. Man, got my accent already. I say really Possessed. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if it's cursed? It's not cursed. I don't believe it. Quickly, Regardless if you put it on, if anything weird happens to hell, I will shoot you with this arrow. Don't worry about it. Bronwyn has your back. Don't worry about it. I will stab you in the heart and cut your fingers off. Okay. Always loving of your support, fellow travelers. Yeah. I kneel down to pick up the helmet. Okay. Yeah. It's heavy. Feels very heavy. Yeah. Out of the. What style of helmet is it? It's a full face covered helmet. No, no, it just has like a little slip there. For your. Yeah. One piece. Yeah. No flip up. It is. I know. It's also. It's too pretty for that dark, flat brim. Dark grayish. Yeah, yeah. And that. I size it up. It's actually very nondescript for a. It's got a nice little latch. It's got a very nice latch in the back because it's a God. So it's like. It's like a modified one, you know, his realm, he modified it so it's easy. Pull on. Okay. Doesn't mess up the hair. That's right. I'm astonished by the technology. Technology in this helmet. Maybe. Possibly. I don't know. I don't know what I know because I'm just in this place, and what do I know about technology and science? But I wonder. Palanon wonders. And so he puts on the head. And puts on the helmet. Yes. Which now has a head. Which now has a head. It's a head helmet. Yes. And hands. Now a head helmet. Excellent. So you put on the helmet and very, very briefly, you have a glimpse of something. It's a wooden wheel and it's spinning clockwise. Crazily spinning. And there's a glowing sigil in the middle of this spinning wheel. And it's just for a moment, and it's gone. But you feel somehow that this is some kind of a glimpse into your destiny. Whatever it is that you are meant to become. This vision somehow connects to that. What is this? A jewel of? Is it an. Yeah, give me a religion check. Let's see if it's something that you know. Is that a 20? Yeah. Uh huh. Oh, 11's not very good. 17. 17. 17's good. Yeah. You think that the sigil has something to do with flight? It's not a religious symbol, but it has something to do with flight. And in this moment, as he is experiencing this with the helmet, you hear Willoughby's voice calling out to you, and he says, soldiers, perhaps you could come to me. And he gathers you around and he says, this thing that has come to us, I believe it must be of some great importance. No shit, Sherlock. Thank you, Andre. Always a wise, wise quip. I think there is a quest that must be fulfilled here. I have waited all my life for something to happen, to give me purpose. And now that it has happened, I think my life has passed me by. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You have this effect on me. I understand. I've had this effect and on many, many soldiers, many women. Fort Scratch. But I feel I must pass this on to you 5. I believe the best course of action would be to take this item to the city of Atari. Oh, I've heard of it before. Atari, is it? How many bits to get there? It is there. There's an old school, cheap bits and none the richer. I know the commander there. Her name is Jambon Deluxe and she is a bit eccentric. But I believe that she is the one who will be able to take responsibility for this item and see that it is cared for properly. Will you agree? I'm code. We will get monies now. I am training so well, so good. Soon enough you will stab someone in the heart and you will not even care. No, it sucks. I'm very proud of you. Okay. Will you take on this quest? Well, I, I, I will. Personally, we would love to do this, of course. But we would need all of our paperwork filled out excusing us from duty for the rest of our lives. That's true, you know. Recommendations, recommendation, all of the paperwork together so that we don't ever have to come back here. I mean, it is just a negotiation. Yes. I am more than happy to put in a strong recommendation for all of you to be assigned to a more exciting place than this. Although I would say after today, Fort Scratch is kind of the place to be, wouldn't you say? It's pretty happening. Okay, I was just kidding. Definitely put a mark on it in the ground. Yeah. Yes. Helmet marks the spot. So who carries the helmet? That's a very good question. Who will carry the helmet? Well, you know, I am so trustworthy. I think that's me. Okay. It's fine. I know you stunk your hand to get it, so it's only fair. That's right. That's right. Oya drew it. Helenon. Take it. Would have been a funny track to go down. Maybe it'll happen early or something like that. Backfire. A spell. Who knows. No, we can wait for you. You didn't catch it. I threw it to you. Friends, I will take this. I will take this helmet. And I will guard it with all the protection I can. As I do you. And we'll relinquish it when necessary to the proper here. Oh, of course. Oh, yes, yes. Not to mention my last God. We'll talk about that. To Goblin's Tears, My infinity Guide. Excellent. So you head out on the road. It's about a day's journey, and this city that you are very familiar with, the orderly streets, is in chaos. The streets, the buildings are awash in blood. It seems that whatever it was that fell out of the sky here, they were drenched in the blood of a God. And here, even a day or two later, you see people are standing dumbstruck. People have no idea what to do, how to process this. And then there's others. There's a line of people who have loaded up their carts and are leaving in fear of what has happened to their city and what might come next. So the city is in chaos right now. You can see the few guards that are around are trying to maintain order somehow. And this is the city that you will enter into. You think you probably know where the barracks are just from your basic knowledge of the city. Do you want to. You can usually smell it, indeed. It's where the horses are, so. Very true. I would like to. Any rich person I see, I will pickpocket them. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Good start. Good start. Yeah, yeah. How would you. Oh. 16 plus sea berry is 21. 21 is absolutely successful. That is well done. I'm gonna roll on my prepared table of pocket trinkets. Oh, fantastic. And you come out. Did you get those? Every DM has one of these, and you come out with a copper fish, small copper fish that this family has had in their generations for good luck. Absolutely valueless to anyone but this family, who treasures it with their life. Where can I melt this shit? Give me a blowtorch. Some kind of fire. Always, always. With the melt. Melted, everything must be melted. Everything must be melted. No, Bratles. I get it. No brat. Right, right. All right. All right. Are you headed to. Towards the barracks? Yes, barracks. In for all the folks that are sort of in the streets, you know, dumbfounded covered. Would you shout like, kia bath. Okay. Excellent. Helpful. Okay. Is that another one of your funny jokes, Cantros? No, I'm trying to be helpful. May I? They should come. May I lick a lot of blood. Just want to eat a little bit of blood. Oh, there's as much blood as you'd like. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What does it taste? What does it taste? It is salty. It is salty. It's got blood. Salty. It is. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It does taste fairly familiar to normal blood. I'm assuming you know all kinds of things. Okay, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There doesn't seem to be any magical properties to it at this point. I wanted you to Grow the tree that's a perfect size. And then we could. Oh, wow. Put your hand on the hill after a couple days. Is it coagulating? You know, yeah, you're right. You know, it is. You do notice that in some places it is starting to thicken. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You think this is going to be a city of scabs pretty soon if somebody doesn't mop the place up? That's. Yeah, I was striking to it. All right, so you head to the barracks. And the barracks is quite a nice building, actually. Surprisingly, well, ornate, with a roof made of tortoise shells. And there's a beautiful courtyard here. And in the courtyard there are. There are human sized statues of three well known deities. You recognize them all? Well, there is Taurag, the God of protection. There is Eomedae, the God of honor, who is your God. And there is Gorim, the God of battle. And you can see across Gorim's chest, somebody has scrawled the words false God in what is presumably his own blood. And the doors to the barracks are there. And there are a couple of guards standing in front of the doors. They look almost as dumbstruck as everyone else, but there they are. I say to them, Yeah, I say, hello. Hello. We are here. We wish to ask questions of anyone of higher rank, if possible, within these walls. We have come from another place. Scratch the nickname. Perhaps you've heard of it? Yes, right, of course. You poor best. Thank you. Yeah, we'd like to come in, see what's going on in there. A lot of blood's been falling. Yeah, yeah. Listen, pal, we have a very, very chaotic scene here, so unless you have something very important. Important? I'm just gonna ask you to come back later. Would the helm of the God that's just been slain, that'd be. Oh, sorry, Goro. Oh. I mean, maybe Gorham. Perhaps if we did. He said something about a helmet. Oh, he's so funny. You're so. He's so funny. Oh, he got hit with a helmet. She's making a joke. She's making a joke. All right. So seriously, why are you here? We're here because we're very, very overwhelmed right now. Well. And it's not because of a helmet from a God. Yes. Bronwyn is so pretty, but so not. You know. We need to talk to Hambone Deluxe. Oh, yes. We need to talk to him. We really need to do that. Jean. Jean Bonnet. And I'm going to do and intimidate. I think you understand. This is a secret mission. We Must speak to Hanbon Deluxe. Yeah, I mean, like our hype man. It's not about the helm of. I'm going to do an exterminate. Oh, no. It's a nine. It's a nine. Yeah. This is a hardened veteran soldier. And he says. I think. I think maybe you should go back to Fort Scratch. Okay. The cutest, tiniest little plant walks up to his little pant cuff and goes, excuse me, mister. Hi. Could you please, please, pretty please let me and my friends through to see Hamborn Deluxe, please? I'm assuming this is more of a diplomacy angle. Yeah, just I make my little. My little tiny flat eyes really big. Uh huh huh. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Let's give it a try. He has a heart somewhere in there. Here we go. Come on. There's a 20. Oh, did you roll a natural 20? Natural 20? No. Billy. Yes. These dice are not. Well, then go ahead. I step forward to explain that in brief detail, the story of what befell us not long ago. Okay, I'm sorry. Talking about. Yes, for the first time, the helm of Gorim. Because it seems that maybe we can win favor by announcing that it appears that Gorm has been defeated by someone unknownst to us. Unknownst to us. Mystical power. And so maybe we will be heralded as saviors. Interesting. Okay. Are you showing him the helmet? We have hidden it. Who have it then? You have it. Oh, I have it. Oh, I'm wearing it. Oh, you're wearing it? I am wearing it. I. In fact, well, I was given just the synagogue. I thought I would put it on because who knows? But you'd still have to tell him that. That was so. Eyeing the huge statue. Yeah, yeah. And saying, look, this helmet is the same as that helmet. Okay? Yeah, yeah. You're kind of standing next to it and. Yeah, yeah. See, we brought you girls. See, it's a lot smaller. I put my hand on it. Everyone thought. Everyone thought that my hand was getting smaller or bigger, but it was the helmet getting smaller. It's a little bit smaller. That last detail really baffles him. But overall, very effective. So, yeah, roll a. What do you think that is? Is that. I mean, it could be religion or. I mean, I think it's, you know, like a performance or diplomacy, something along those lines. Diplomacy, saying, charm. Or you could. You could get a little mean about it and make it intimidation if you want. Conventions. It's convention. Do it under convention. Yeah. At a convention. Yeah, it's convincing. It's convention. You get plus six in convention. There is. My God, I Wish I got plus six at convention. Diplomacy is I always feel like I'm operating at a minus four. Yeah, you're like at least minus four to six. Yeah, six. Six plus. Okay, great. So that's just 10. Where. Where are we? You have a plus four? I think so. Yeah. You know. Okay. But you know what? I am gonna give you a plus two because you have this helmet. So you're showing it off. It's pretty convincing. You feel like he's starting to come around to this idea. Anything else that anybody can do for this? I will show my breasts. Oh, this is good. It has plus two circumstance per breast. Are you showing both? I will say only one because you cannot show all the goods. And I will say hold back. Just look inside. We need to see handball. Okay. And it's not. It's acrobatics. It's a 13. Thirteen. No, it's a 13. Yes. Six. That's a 19. A 19. Listen, these guys lead a hard life. Just the wrong. Just the wrong. They don't get out a lot. Just the wrong. It's been a traumatic day. And this is the most amazing experience they have had in a while. They open the doors and let you in. It's the bigger one. I saw them. The bigger one. There's a bigger one. Thanks. Everyone has metulin ballots. Thanks for letting me try my way first. You know what? I'm trying to be a better team player. It always wins yours. But we try to do other things. It was tag team there, okay? I just need to be the closer. All right. So here you are in the city. No. No. Yes. No. Yes. Where's my hero coin for my breast now? You know, Kendall, if you ask. Oh. Could I have a hero coin for my breast? Yes. You most certainly can thank for your breast for it. The brave action that you took that happened to involve your boob. All bodies, all vulnerabilities. All body. It's actually a rule in Chapter one. Very brave man oppressed. That's why people choose Pathfinder. Honestly? Yeah, totally. That's the only reason. That's it. We solved it. Good night, everybody. Thanks for joining us. Be sure to tune in next time. No, stick around. I got two more hero before we're here. Hey, guys. I've got a lot of heroes. Oh, my God. Bow. Chicken. This game get crazy. Okay. Okay. Here we are. You're walking into the barracks in Atari. This beautiful, orderly city that is now a wall wash in the divine blood of the fallen God. It's depleted in here. There's very Few people. The soldiers that are here seem to be flustered, scared, anxious. But sitting there at the back, in what is damn near a throne, is a woman in. In chain armor, seeming. Leaning back, seeming quite relaxed and prepared for this moment. And she is giving out orders, interacting with her underlings, and takes no notice of you. Do you think this is Hermon Houlweit? She seems impatient. Palanon, do your palit single. Then let's go. We have a hound here. Yeah, we are. Oh, speak to them. You're the only one with any dignity here. I'll just be honest. Okay. Find me. Can I clean my wrist it on your shoulder? Of course. Okay, Good luck. Plant yourself. And now you're on. You're on his shoulder. The mushroom's on your shoulder. Okay, Good, good. So we're building. Okay. Excellent. Adventurers, approach. Yeah, what was Mrs. Name? Do we know? Oh, this is the Hamon Delilah. Presumably what we think. Yes, Lady Hamon, I presume. It's Commander Deluxe, but yes, Commander Deluxe. Excuse me. Pardon me. Commander Deluxe, guys. Commander Deluxe. Copy that. Commander Deluxe. Commander Deluxe. I salute. Yeah, she's very formal. Thank you. Thank you for taking us in. It has been a day and a journey. As I was telling you, my fellow comrades out near the gate. I'm surprised they let you in. Quite frankly, it's a surprising reason why they. I see. Okay, let us in. Because of the experience we had away from here. And when we came, the adventure that we had. They are a well endowed group of has created adventurers. It's all behind the mask, right? So it's like. Dude, I can't see anything. I can't see anything. Oh, that's right. Oh, sorry. Who the hell are you? Sorry. Did you show them your breast? Cause that's. I'm getting tired of this. I have tried to. Wait a minute. My bit is old. Pardon me for that. My first time wearing this helmet. Yes. It has a magic ability that. It feels so comfortable. It feels as if I'm not even wearing a helmet. This helmet looks great. This helmet. Good lady. This helmet. Thank you. This helmet, Good lady, is from Commander. Commander. Commander. Lady Commander. Lady Commander. From the God Goram, who we saw appear out of nowhere, incredibly tall as a mountain. Dyed, disintegrated helmet on the ground. Put my hand on it. It shrunk. I carried it here. Abridged version. Recap. So it's very Sicilian. We know not what to do with this. Helmut, we are here to consult with you as this is a God that you. Yeah. Sat with Quite a bit, it seems, walking in. Yes, yes, of course. And we all, of course, saw the God die up in the heavens. Oh, you saw it too? Look at our streets. I mean, we weren't so lucky to get a helmet. We got blood. Blood in torrents of blood. Gore is gore. The head was. But. But how do you know for sure that this is the helmet of the God? Listen. Well, Commander Willoughby sent us, you know, the incontinent one over in Skitchy at. At Fort Scratch. Scratching. This happened in Fort Scratch? Nothing ever happens at Fort Scratch. Scratch that. Because now it has indeed put us on the map. Amazing. Helmet fell. Look at how small his hand is. It was. It was big. It was big and now it's little. Now it's very small. Yeah. How is that possible? Right? I did feel a buzzing and energy surround my body as I walked toward what was a very hot helmet. But as I got closer, it seemed to cool to my touch, and I was allowed to place my hand upon. Hot Helmet is actually the new title of this show, by the way. It's the name of my band. It rocked. Gojella. Let's. You're so good on it. Self Harmony. He gets off on plate mail. You can tell. And where's that helmet? So anyway, I'm not. This is what happened. Good sir, we know not what to do with this helmet. Woman. Good woman. Commander. Lady. Lady Commander. Yes. What say you? It is an amazing story. May I take the helmet, please? Excellent. Yeah. So she takes it and she seems somewhat skeptical. But as she touches it, you see it shrinks just slightly. Her head a little bit smaller than yours and resizes itself to fit her. And she sees this and is amazed. A look of sadness washes over my face. I thought I was. Did you think it was just for you? Poor little. Better. Silent tears. It's like a dog. It greets everybody, but it likes you best. Still hard news. Still hard news to take for the first time. And she gathers you closer. Now, she doesn't really want everybody else in the barracks to know about this. They will know. How many other people are around us in the barracks? I'm the wrong guy. There are soldiers coming in and out. It's very active here. But probably a solid 15. Yeah, I would say yes, occasionally. 15. More like 8 to 10. Okay. To 10. You don't need to push it. I got it. Okay. Yeah. Just want to stay grounded. Yeah. Great. So she calls you forward and says, this is. I don't know what this means. I don't know what Anything that's happened in these days means. But I do recognize how important this is. Unfortunately, my city is in chaos. We are barely holding things together here. I cannot possibly live. I must ask that you take this journey one step further. This must go to Absalom. Oh, boy. This must go to the Pathfinder Society in Absalom. They will know how to take care of an artifact this important. Absolutely. And she hands it back to you and you feel it slightly change and shift in your hands. I can get you there quickly and safely if you will allow me. Commander Deluxe. Yes. We all feel so badly for your town and your plight. I do appreciate that. We have been sent on this mission by Commander Willoughby. Which is. He's. You know how he is. Yes, yes. What we would need or desire from you is letters of recommendation, shortened tenure, some kind of maybe allowances for our sacrifice in this moment. I see. So this incredibly important thing has fallen out of the sky. Your commanding officer has given you orders and we are negotiating terms. I would merely ask your favor. She seems strangely compelled. I was just a clever girl. Guy. Yeah. That's. That's all we need. Extreme power. You hold justice area. Now I know how you got in. She says, of course, if you were to accomplish this task, this Jambon Gelmut journey. The Jambon Gelmut journey. Yes, of course. I would be happy to put in a good word for all of you. Not because we bargained for it, but because you deserve it. As someone who has completed an important task. Yeah, we did. Thank you. And we were. So. We could have not shown you the helmet. Yes, exactly. We could have absconded with the helmet. I did say. I hope these things didn't occur to you though. Right? You're good, loyal soldiers. I am just simply naming another option. Pretty loyal. All we want. 90% loyal. Okay, that's good. That's good for us. I mean, here like 80 is the base. Exactly. So 90. We're very happy to have that. Yes, exactly. It's healthy. Excellent. All right. So you will take this task on. And you will. You will head to the jeweled city of Athens. Of course. Of course. Okay. Well, let's. Happy to serve. Cheers. The gun. Excellent. Yes. And Commander. Joe. What a mess we're making here. But. Yes, yes, yes. Cheers. All right, so Commander Deluxe walks you out and says, I can provide you with quick travel to Absalom. Many days journey. I don't want you out on the roads with this incredibly powerful item. So I will send you to the captain of a ship. It is called the infernal exile. Sounds weird. Better write that down. The captain there, if you tell her that I sent you, and you give her this, and she pulls out what seems to be a large, dusty femur bone, and she hands it over to you and says, give the captain this and tell her I sent you. Is this the hembone? I'm curious. It's a femur bone. Whoa. Give her this and she. She owes me one last favor. It's the femur bone of a ham. You can't have a femur bone of a hat. You can have a femur bone of a pig. Of a pig. Once it's a ham, it no longer has a femur. I was told that the creature still be a bone. You don't know what kind of hams we have here. I don't know how you're eating up at 4. We have a ham farm. We've been raising I ham from one. We had so many ham animals. What's this captain's name? You don't mind me asking? Captain Bagstock. Old bag stock. Yes, right. I've heard legends. Ah, yes, yes. Something about from. From decades ago. Yeah, from around. It was nice. Yeah. Good to hear those legends. I remember. Well, that'll be fine. Okay, yeah. You will make your own legend. He went to minstrel school, but he did not think he did. Minstrel. Minstrel. Oh, my God. That's what we have going on here. It's true. That's what he was doing. Shark attack time here. So, yes, so she says, you will go to the infernal exile. You will give this to the captain. And the captain will take you. Oh, captain. To Absalom. And as she goes, she points you in a direction and says, go that way to the infernal exile. And as she leaves, you realize that she's pointing inland. She says, follow the road that way and you will come to the infernal exile. And off she goes. Would have rather had a concrete reward before we do this, but. Okay, I negotiated something, you know. Yeah, but like what? What? Go on, man. Why are you. No, it's just. Listen. Trying a new accent. I like it that direction. Right, the one that's pointing like, it's like inland. So I'm like ship. What? I have no explanation, but let's do it. I mean, she did it. I mean, what do you think, Jethro? Why? Have I ever asked you what you think? This is the time. I don't think now's the time. Okay, inland we go. Great. Kelly, Question. Should I touch? Make it little so they can't find it. I hold the helmet and make it little. If you crush his head because you touch it. No, but he can take it off and give it to me and make it. Make it a little. I want to see it happen. Let's see it. Okay, so I'll take it and I'll. What did she say? No, Try to palm it. So hurry. Yeah, yeah. You're taking it. Yeah. Okay, so yeah, as soon as it leaves his hands and comes to yours. Yeah. It starts to shrink very slowly, gently. A tiny little hammer shrinks down into a tiny. Okey dokey. Yeah. Can your mushroom touch it? Oh, my goodness. Could it get tinier? And then he finds an acid. Yeah, you can put it on. I should power. Oh. Oh. This is over my acorn helmet. And as the visor slides down over your face, you see a vision as well. You're surrounded by a lush forest. Your attention is drawn to the stars above, those formations that you're so familiar with. But now they're shifting, they're rearranging into what can only be a map of the universe that you, as an explorer, are destined to follow. And then, with a rush, you're pulled back into the. This one. Oh, I'm so cool. Very cool. It's so cool. Okay. It's a good look for you. So I put it on my mushroom. Your mushroom is not able to hold it. That's true. Yeah. You just put it on his head then. So I'll just keep it. Okay. All right, so we'll keep it. We'll keep it. Let's go. All right. And off you go, off on this road inland somehow to San Bernardino to find this. To find this infernal exile. Oh, hi there. Time for Extra Life again. Wait, what is Extra Life? Seriously? Extra Life is a charity gaming fundraiser. We play games to raise money for local children's hospitals. Extra Lifewears around the world have raised more than $100 million since 2008. And all because of people like you. So what are you waiting for? Donate to Extra Life to help kids like me. I must ask that you take this journey one step further. This must go to Absalom with my five. Ah, I see everything. That's why people choose Pathfinder. I believe that this is the new path we will fly for Absalom. For the true Pathfinders. And you may be one of them. You will forever be known as the mythic heroes of the Godfold. Who are you? And why are you here? You have entertainment. The domain of G Ro. Protector of Fort Scratch. You will all fall this day found. These lovely people have traveled with them afar. I believe that this is the new path. Mr. Cool Meats Dragon. Lovely unicorn. Oh my God. I love this. It's amazing. I am st. There's only four more courses. This initiative role brought to you by Flaming Red Dragon. Eat his dried fingers. This is so exciting. It's SA It Sa. Hi, my name is Matt Lillard. You know, and Grimm's produced a show called Faster Purple Worm. Kill Kill. Four first level characters go off into the world to become the heroes of legend, only to run into an epic monster and get wiped out. We're very excited to present to you. Faster. Perform. Kill. Kill. So you too can play at home. At least one of you must stay alive. I'll take that one. Dibs on living. If you're a fan of Beetle Grimm's. If you're a fan of gaming, you're a fan of what we do. Play Faster Purple or Kill Kill. That episode single handedly ruined my childhood. I watched it and now I can't remember the name of my dog. I mean, come on, Isn't that messed up? See, it's all like hashtag. So, were you a Heath Ledger kind of girl or a Mark Hamill kind of girl? Easy there, quick draw. You'll put somebody's eye out. Okay, Red had the interview go with the Sinister Six. It is a bureaucratic nightmare over there. You wouldn't believe what they spend on smoke. Smoke bombs this quarter alone. Good health care though, right? What with all the explosions and the face melting lasers. Hey, is this hand stitch? Oh, so now you like the jacket? I suppose I will take that into account. I know, right? It's like dating is some sort of scorecard. Hey, if you and I are having a good time, then we must be doing something right? So did they make that jacket an evil henchwoman? Cut. Are you sure you're interested in me and not just the jacket? I don't know. Let's bite out. You like Berri or Ramen? Do I have taste buds? In a pulse. SA Live. An immersive RPG experience with the ultimate miniature subscription. We make the minis, you tell the stories. Unlock access to a new bundle of minis every month with the most realistic minis you've ever seen. Print, paint, play for only $15 a month. Sign up now. So you head out on the road north and it heads out of the forest into a drier landscape. You're heading further and further from the water, but after a few Hours, you come upon a clearing, and in this clearing, you see the rotting remains of a large ship. How it could have gotten here, no idea. But there it is. It's. The wood is rotting through. The masts are broken off, but there on the back of it, you can still see in peeling paint the words infernal exile. Okay. Hmm. This where it got exiled. I think I'm going to. I'm going to approach the vessel. Are there any openings on the side of it that make it easy to get into because it's wrecked. Yeah, you don't see any holes that would be easy enough to climb through without maybe pulling some boards off, but you definitely can get perculous. Yeah. And it's lying sort of on its side a little bit because it's not meant to be. Oh, it's listing. It's listing is what it is. So, yeah, if you want to climb up, you could. You know, a list is a list. So that old saying. Yes, a list is a list is a list is a list. Oh, now it's the old thing. Yes, now it's the old thing. Before that, it was almost. Right. You're on the cusp. Yes. One. One. I will scale. Okay. My cat's probably gonna scale, too. Okay. Yes, yes, your cat scales up with no problem. You move up very quickly right behind your cat, and there you are up on the deck. Is anybody else coming along, or are you waiting to see how we got here? Come up. All right, here you are. You're on the deck of the ship, and you look around, and you see there are skeletons around this ship, some of them still in tattered. Looks like it may have been pirate clothing at one time. And looking at them, they seem to be what you have heard called a colo, which is sort of a jackal, like, humanoid, but they're all just skeletons lying around as if the crew has just fallen. And see if I'm missing a femur. Good question. Good question. You want to branch out and start searching. I want to look for one that's missing. Captain Bagstock. I think she might be missing a bone. Oh, is that why she gave that stuff? Yeah. I don't put these together. If they're not, there's no money involved. I'm going to try to find the captain's quarters. Excellent. All right, so you're searching around. So there are 10 skeletons on the deck, but none of them seem to be missing any bones. They all seem to be entirely together. Come with you. You. Yes. So, yeah, towards the front of the ship. You see a locked door there that seems to be going into a large area. So you think this might be the captain's quarters, but the door is locked. Oh, we might need a teeth. Oh. Would you like my. My services? Could I have a bit of your lock in the ears? Bravo. I love it when you talk to me. I'm not amorphous accent. Okay. Great. Oh. Oh, boy. Wow. I could lie. Wow. Yeah. But I will say that it's a one still the one. Ah, yeah. So unfortunately, you go to pick this lock and it's so rusted and thick, your lock pick actually breaks off in the lock. So not only did you not pick it, but it cannot be picked again because your lock pick is lodged as much. Okay, Okay. I can get in this lock. You can? Okay. Gentle. Extremely good. 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Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Allbirds uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period@shopify.com realm all lowercase. Go to shopify.com realm to upgrade your selling today. That's shopify.com realm. Hey there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music great artist, BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival gig, rave, sound bath or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off for. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline. Go to Your happy price. Priceline. Stupid. And I slam into the door as hard as I can. I love it. Holding an axe. You slam into the wooden door? Yes, with my shoulder. Excellent. Good, good. Yeah. Yes. This is a gentle move. Give me an athletics check for that. You got it. Yeah, that's not too bad. Bad. No, I'm going to go ahead and use my thing. Inconsequential roll. That's what it's about. March. I'll take that. That is going to be a total of 26. Yes. Who needs an axe? Smithereen, break down that door. Nice. The captain's door falls down and you see what was once probably a very luxurious captain's quarters. But of course it has gone to rot like everything else here. But on the bed, this four post bed that's somehow on this ship, there lies another skeleton. She missing a femur. And indeed she is. Ah, we knew it. So you gotta unlock the skeleton. You gotta give her her leg. Give her a bone. You gotta give her a bone. Yeah, whatever you want. Go bone that captain. That's right, Boner. The captain is bone back. Yeah, Captain Bone back. That's my name. Hers. Got it. Who's doing bone insertion? Yeah, who does have the bone? Cur. The bone. Did we keep it? I believe we kept it. It's just back to Oari. Oh no. Oh no. You don't have it. You know, I thought you had it. I thought you password with the key. I thought the key. The key was attached to the beamer. I had to go to the bathroom in the stall. Oh, there. Oh yeah, there he goes. This is my backpack. Oh, gosh. Good, good, good, good. Wound femur. Excellent. I'll help. Always do that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You fit it into place and for a few moments nothing happens. And then amazingly, this skeleton starts to shift. You move incredible. Captain Bagstock. Captain Bagstock. Yes. And this skeleton starts to lift itself up out of the bed. And behind you, you look back and you see the crew is starting to get up as well. John Reed. Roger. You are surrounded by undead. Undead. Undead. Hold it, hold it. The captain stands up and looks at you. Hello. So who are you un and why are you here? Hi, I'm Roger Ash. Yeah, I'm actually like this. I just don't like this. Yeah, yeah, great. But you're on a bed. I can hop on next to me. Right, right. Audra Ash. Yes. We were talking to Commander Hemmingbone Deluxe and she said you would help us. And. Oh, and I'm wearing a thing. Yeah, and. Yes, and I like this. I want to tell you that I'm a witch. I'm a witchy witch. How does that play into this part of the story? Because I think we get along. Oh, I see. A cultist. I see how I like that. Give me a diplomacy chick. Let's see how long. Well, we get along. Oh, you're a son of a. Diplomacy. Come on, you little piece of diplomacy. We did give you 18. Oh, yeah. You and me. Yes. I feel it. We are. We are as one, you and I. Yes. Yes. I am Captain Bagstock. And it is true that I do owe the commander in Atari a favor. We brought you your bone. You did bring me the bone? I. That we did. Yes. And it is good to be back on me legs again. So what is it that Captain Jambone Deluxe needs of me? So. Ah, look, you're a plant. Hi. And yeah. So see, this is Gorham's helmet. Yeah. Okay, big deal. So we need to get it someplace safe. I think we got to go to Earth. So long. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absalom. Absolutely. Absalom. Yes. The new title of this show, by the way. Absolutely. Absolute. Absolutely. You got us there. If this is what Deluxe wants as her last favor. It is. I will do it for you. Okay. If that's what she wants. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. All right. All right. And you can see that the captain is genuinely excited to have a mission, to have a purpose. And she strides out onto the deck and she says, arise, me pretties. Once again your undeath is called to aid the living. Rise and prove yourselves worthy of this glorious coffin we share. Ready the exile. And you see them leap to life. All of them running to their posts, climbing up the mast. I want to go to the crows nest. Crow's nest? Yeah. You're going to go to the crow's nest as well. Yeah, absolutely. I'm very into this part. Oh, I really like it. Yeah. And everybody is at their positions. Is there anything that anybody wants? I'm going to look around the cabin. Okay. I'm a guess it is. Yeah. She has left it to see if there's anything that would be valuable. Yeah. She does have a very nice looking cutlass. Cut. Cut. I think. I think she has no longer a cutlass. Okay. Excellent. Yeah. It's a wonderful vehicle. I had one. Yeah. There you go. I'm just gonna go around here. Okay. Around there. Okay. Like right up in front. Yeah. Just kind of look like you be looking out. Sure, sure. Okay. I'm going to get right in front of You. And put my hands out. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. And I'll give you a little hug from. Oh, thank you. I think at this point I had a lot of water for my travel, so I'm going to find the bathroom. Oh, nice. Yeah. That would just be the edge of the ship. Latron. Yeah, Found it. Okay. All right. And. Yeah. And so, as everybody comes to their places, the captain takes her position behind the wheel. And as she touches it, you see this sigil start to glow in the middle of the captain. And you recognize it as the sigil that you saw in your vision, this vision of what your possible destiny might be. And she takes the wheel and you feel the ship start to right itself. Wow. And then with a wind that you cannot feel and sails that you cannot see, this ship starts to lift itself up into the sky. 30ft, 60ft. 100ft. 200ft. And now it starts to fly forward. Forward. And you are on your way to the jeweled city of Absalom. Beautiful. Does the wife. Well, yes. You are asked to put your phones into airplane mode for the captain's sake. Does anyone? Probably above 10,000ft? I guess 30. They do have WI fi, but it is pay. Yeah, you do have to pay for it. It costs one hero point and it's very. Oh, no, he just wants to look at cat photos. He's got a cat. He's already got a cat. He doesn't. He's already got one. It's four cats. It gets four by cats. All right. And, and, and for. For negotiating with. With the captain. I will give you. Oh, very nice. I didn't even have to use my seat. Pa. No. Elly? No. Pretty good. And up you go. So you're flying out towards Absalom. You can see that the captain heads out closer to the shore. And below you, you can see the regular ship struggling against the tide. And you're sailing right past them. And pretty soon you do you see this very large city in the distance, the city that you all trained in, that you were sworn to protect as part of the Guard. And you know that the Pathfinder Society's central location is called the Grand Lodge, and that is in the foreign quarter of the city of Absalom. Right now you are flying towards the west gate. And you would then fly over that. So you feel the ship start to tack back inward to fly over this gate. And just as you feel you might be home free, back into Absalom, a horrible creature lands. A humanoid creature with huge wings and horrible teeth, talons and feet. Like some kind of huge bird. Like a seagull. Like a seagull. Oh, no. Like an evil humanoid seagull. I know. Are you now holding the helmet? Is that true? I'm wearing. You still have it on. Okay. So it picks you out of the crowd. And the rest of you see it mouthing words, but you're the only one who could hear it. Whispering says, I sense the power of that which you hold. Give it to me now and I will show you mercy. I will let you watch as I devour your companions. Interesting offer. I'm gonna call it. Now what? Never mind. Don't worry about it. Why are you saying that? Oh. And she bellows furiously. And we roll an ish. Time to play a game called initiative. Shall I start? All right, let's roll it up. Let's roll some initiatives. All right. So bad. Fine. Oh. Ooh. Five plus. Oh. Plus perception. Yes, it is perception. How fast you notice what's going on rather than your physical reaction. So 11. Yeah. 18. 18. 7. Actually 20 for a 25. Amazing. Not going to be able to make of us about 22. Okay. 17. 17. Okay. So you're 25. I'm going to put that in front of you. Got it. Oh, the bags of orderliness. Bags of orderliness. All right. Very efficient combat. And Pathfinder is just cornhole. What? Cornhole. Just throw them at each other. That's whole. Whoever gets tired of it first, I want to play that game. All right, you're up first. You have entered the domain of Gantros, the God Carver. You will fall this day by the knees first and in every piece thereafter. I'll hold the accent. We're gonna go screaming and happy. This huge harpy screaming at you. Don't you scream in my little helmed plant friend. Okay. Yeah. So your first action will be to close ground. Go ahead and move up close. I got my old 25ft because I'm a little cobalt. My little AIDS going. Is that enough to get in? Yeah, 25 gets you there. Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and do two attacks back to back. Great. So first one's gonna be double bubble plus nine. Ooh. Oh, dang. That's gonna be a 28 on the first hit. Oh, it's a hit. Which if that's 10 or more, let me know if that's crit. It is not. Dang it. Sorry. The other one. Good point. That one is not as good. That's gonna be a six. That's okay. So we have one hit. One hit. Yeah, I'll take it. Massive arc axe through the air as I'm screaming. My kobold lips are quivering through the wind as it blows by. The saliva kind of like streaking back across me, just growling like a rabid animal. Next moment of your fucking life. Oh, yeah. That's gonna be nine points of damage from my great axe. Yeah. For a decade. And the beast. Great. He screams. That's my go. Excellent. Who's two? Two is. That's you. Run with me, Runway. I'm going to. You know what? Okay. I think I will do a longbow. Okay. I think I'll shoot me longbow then. Yeah. All right. So, you know, you can use an action to mark the harpy as your prey, and we'll give you some benefits. Let's do that. Yeah. Okay. Good mechanism. Yeah. Yeah. So use your first action to mark it as your prey. And then with your next action, you can actually take two shots instead of one shot. And you'll get a bonus for that. Wow. Okay. I would like to. It's a pretty nasty little effect there. I really like that very much. Like, actually, I really love that. Okay, good. I'm glad you like it. I made it just for you. It's not just for camera. I mean, person. Oh, yeah. Easy. This is so good. Very good. Go, go. I got an eight. Yeah, that's pretty good. So like a 15. Yeah, like, I'm gonna say close to a 15. Okay. Yeah, that's a miss. Okay. But nice. Yeah. You get a second shot. It is at a minus five. So it'll just be a plus two. Uh, 16. No, 16. No, no. Okay, well, I tried. Okay. It was a good try. That's what I'm gonna say at the end of it. I'll be like. If that doesn't take a turn, I'm just gonna say, like, well, I tried. Does not take an action. To express, we believe in you. Okay. To be okay with the way things turned out. I believe you're three. Yes. Yeah. And, you know, you're up in the crows. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I go. And this wind just out of my mouth, just blowing, blowing, blowing. I make a ranged spell attack. Here we go. Okay, I'm just gonna do it on here. No. Darn it. I hate that it's on there. Take it. I'm doing it again. Here it goes. Here it comes. Here it comes. She's doing. She's. There she goes again. Butter. 16. 16. No, no, no. We already fell in a 16. Darn. Too windy. Too windy. Too windy. All right. It doesn't matter. I'm still doing this. Okay. Yes. I, I. So then I kind of go and I make kind of a little growl. Okay. Yeah. And it's really scary. You have to make a will save. Okay. Oh, are you an animal? I mean, yeah. Versus you're an animal. Like you're a bird. Yeah, yeah. I'm part bird, part person. You have a minus minus one circumstance, minus one circumstance penalty to the save. Oh, okay. If you're an animal, so you make a will save. Okay. Okay, I'm happy to make a will. Saal seagull makes a will save. Minus one. I have a plus 12. So that's a 25. Darn it. Never mind darn it. That is versus. When you attempt to hurt me, you'll take a minus two status. Fantastic. Okay, great. Yeah. He's a little taken aback by this strange little plant, but it wants that can't get me. No, no, no. All right, I believe you're four. Yeah. I'm going to flank myself. Can I move? I'm going to move behind the harpy to be flanking with gentro so that I'll get. I have sneak attack. Yes. And so that if I succeeding, that would be a D6. Yes. Okay. But I'm going to say that that's going to take you two actions to get all the way around. So I'll do one attack. Yes. Okay. Uh huh. 10 plus 6 plus 2 because of the surprise attack. Absolutely. And that would be an 18. An 18 misses. 18 misses. Who is this douche? Yeah, he is tough. He is tough. This is a very, very frightening creature. Oh, okay, great. Sickle. I've got nothing else then because I moved so nimbly. You did, you did. You moved very well. Got that. Okay, so this harpy is singularly focused on getting this helmet away from you. Yeah. But also really mad at you about the whole axe thing. So he is going to take his first action to take a talent attack against you. That's good. The talented mister. And that is a 29. Yeah. Is that a crit? That's is just barely a crit. Yeah. Okay, so that is so that is a crit. So that is 20 damage. What? Okay, I have one hit point. Why are we so squishy? Heavy impact slide on the ground. Big old blood smear back up. Feel nothing. I'm looking about 3ft off from where the harpy's actually standing. Excellent. Yeah. So she gives you a massive hit and then she flies up into the air and uses the other two actions. Can I. Reactive strike as she moves out of that flight five feet from me. 100%, if you have it. Yeah. Leaves a square during a move action. It's using. I'm going to go ahead and attempt to use my reactive strike to hit. Yep. That's going to be 16. Okay. Reactive strike failure. I mean, yeah, you do have. You do have her flanked because Sylph is behind her. But behind him. But it still misses. Yeah, it still misses. Yeah, I said I was looking three feet to the left, considering it was pretty close. All right. All right. So he's off into the air, headed for the crow's nest, and by the end of his turn, he is right up there with you. Wow. And now it's your turn. I need to heal him, so I'm fine. Don't believe him. So first action I guess I will take would be to carry to cast. Heal. Mm. So your heal. Your. You're using that as the divine font? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes. So with that, you can use 1, 2, or 3 actions for that heal. And the more actions you devote to it, the bigger the heal will be. You know that he took a pretty sizable hit. Okay, then we'll do two. Okay, great. So if it's two actions, it has a range of 30ft, so you don't have to get right up next to him, which is good because you weren't standing next to each other. And it heals the target for one. D8 plus eight. Okay, so roll a D8 and add eight, and that's what he'll get. That's the one. Come on, now. Come on. Get it. Eight. Eight. That's not bad. Six is crap. So you get 14 hit points back. You can pick up his guts. Great. Fantastic. Huzzah. How do you feel? I was fine to begin with, and now I feel a little more fine. You won't. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. All right. So that was two actions. You've got one action left. If there's something you want to do. I'm gonna blast him with my Divine Lance. Since he's a. Since he's. If I can. Okay. I think Divine Lance is a two action spell. Most spells are two action spells. Yes, it is. Two action spells. The peanut gallery. So that's what the. Two. That's what that means. Well, it's okay. I did the thing that needed to be done. So then I have an action left. Yeah. So is it helpful to know anything about him? To take an action? To know anything about his enemy's abilities? Is that something that would Be good, because I could also heal him. He's got two buttholes. Yeah. You want to take a. You want to take a knowledge role? I mean, listen, a girl's gotta pass the time somehow, you know, we knew that would come. What else were we doing then that would come full circle. We'll give you nature. Nature give you nature. Check. Just so you got a plus three there. So just give it a roll. Good luck. Right. To find out more about this creature. Yes. Scnorth 17. Excellent. So you know that these horrible creatures have diseased mouths. And when they choose to bite something, they can give it a disease that's extremely deadly and can pass from one person to another. I've seen this movie. Quite horrible. All right, good. So that was your third action. And we're back to the top of the route. Saber's flute. Let's go. All right. Thank you. I shake his smaller hand. Appreciate it. All right, let's take this buddy down. Let's do it. Come forth. Show me what you've got. Go ahead and start climbing up to try and get to the top. How close can I get with one move action. Climbing up. Yeah. Try and go up towards the crow's nest. Yeah. So about halfway. About halfway, yeah. I mean, two actions to get to the top and kind of get into the. The crow's nest next to you. Trying to interpose a little bit. Plenty of room. That's right. You're very small. Very small. I got you. And I pat the helmet. Ping pong. Take the ax and just jump. Leap off the helmet like you're a stepping stool to. And then come down towards the harpy. Yeah, do it. All right. That will be 20 to hit. Oh, 20 to hit. You need a 21. But I'm going to give you a plus two for the move. We're going to call that a hit. Yeah, I'll help. I'll push with my leg. Yeah. There we go. Little assist. All right. Coming off a little bit of leaf power. Another nine points of damage. Excellent. Leafed it with me. I leave it. Good leaf. I love it. You're up. I'm going to do a ranged attack. Yeah. Okay. And I'm just going to roll because I just love doing it. Here we go. Good luck. Oh, yeah, for sure. I rolled a seven. So how much damage do you think I could do? It will be sort of vague and amorphous, that damage. Yeah. Not one that I would actually tally onto the list. But emotionally, you've really taken a toll on it. Okay. Just narrowly damages my Shoulder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll take ticket. No, I won't. It was a misfire. That was. Oh, yes. Okay. We might have gotten something. I got a 16 plus 7. Yes. Which is 40. It's in the 50s. Let's see, 17, 18, right. 19, 20, right. 21, 22, 23. My favorite. 23. Yes. In is your second attack of the round, however, so it would actually be an 18. Oh, that's right. 18. So we don't get it. Yeah, right past its gear. I will say again because it doesn't take an action. Be like, I meant to hit you. It's good to clarify that. Yeah, yeah. Because now he knows what to expect. Yeah. It's an honorable thing. I would be. I think so as well. All right, you're three. I'm three. Oh, I'm sorry, you're three. Yes. So here it is right in front of you and these little thorns poke out of my hands and I go. And a bunch of them fly out towards this thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Micro based attack. Oh, my God. You piece of. Oh, no. Okay, that's a 16. Okay, moving on. Okay, so next I go, I go, fuck this shit. All three. And I pull a sickle out from behind my back. Cut it down him down. Oh, here we go. Come on. Cut his wing off. Oh, do we need to put that dice on the dud's chair? Yes. 8. And is that a 10 down? Does that mean something bad happens? No, no, it's not a 10 down because it's your second attack. So it's a five down. You have no pluses on this. That's 80. Oh, the 80s with the pluses. That's what I'm saying. Oh, this is like a critical failure. Yes, this is a critical failure. So. Yes. So you're up here in the Crow's Nest. You take out this scythe you haven't used many times, and as you swing, it leaves your hands and plummets down. No. And we have the Titanic moment. I see it fall. Is that what happens in the Titanic? I don't remember this movie very well. And mushy. Even Mushy if it had arms. Yeah. Holding up your shoulder, like, don't go for it. However, Mushy I believe can get a turn. Okay. Yeah. But for sure, can Mushy do anything? I don't think mushy can do anything. Mushy's pushy. Mushy. I don't think mushy can do anything. Mushy can sense things. Let's see, is this A weakness? No, a scent. Does mushy get any scent off of this creature? Yeah, it smells terrible. I'm glad we're back to this again. We've come from full circle, ladies and gentlemen. The world of Pathfinder is very unappetizing. It's an aromatic adventure. All right, that's me. There is a cold core rulebook devoted to sense. Yeah, totally. Okay. Yeah. Oh, well, okay. I'm trying. Good try. Good try. Sounds really good. So I'm embarrassed for us. I'm a little embarrassed. I can understand that. And I'm frustrated and I'm like, you don't touch my friend and. Or my growing friendship. But still, slight contempt. Or my apathy or, you know, my problem. So I'm going to. And I move 35. I'm like nimble elf. Yeah, that's right. You are. Yeah, you're very. So can I get up the pole in a 35? I'm gonna say you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just. Just shoot right up that. And what I'm gonna do. How big is this guy? Is he like humanoid side? Yeah, he's humanoid side. He's humanoid. He's gonna just jump on his back and try to poke his eye out. Okay, you're gonna. Sorry, what now I'm gonna jump on his back. Yep. And I will be like, yolo. And I will jump and I will go. And I want to jump on his back and poke his eye out. Poke his eye out. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. I want to, like. I want to, like. I want to, like, piggyback, you know, like Dewey and your daddy. Yeah. And I want to go like you do. You and your daddy. Yeah. Okay, so let's make an acrobatics check first. This thing is flying. Okay. You're going to have to jump out into space about, you know, five, seven feet. That's up. To land on it. That's six. So liking that. What could go wrong? Eleven plus six. Not bad. And plus maybe some for just being cool. See, it is pretty cool. So. Yes, okay. Absolutely. You land on this creature's shoulders, these huge wings, and you're just reaching around and. Yeah, just, you know, Game of Thrones style, like. Yes, yes. Okay. All right. Yeah. I mean, you know, that's going to be essentially a punch attack. Thank you. So my fist does plus six. It's a plus six. Take it. Yeah, yeah. I'll give you the fist attack. Okay, so then that would be a 1D4, which isn't. Well, let's see if we can hit first. Oh, really? Actually yeah, Yeah, I guess that's probably good. Yeah. Okay. Definitely hit. Definitely hit with a four. I do have my token. I really need. Oh, my gosh. Right now. Okay. The toen y. Go, go, go. My token. All right. 19. Yeah. Oh, nice. Plus six. But then you get that negative. Oh, no. This is her first attack. Oh, really? This is my first attack. Oh, yeah, she climbed. She jumped. But she hasn't attacked yet. You're right. Okay. All right, so that's a 19 plus 6. Yeah. 25. Yes, absolutely. Okay. And then I'm gonna do. That's all goo. Two damage. Okay. One D4 is two damage. Yeah, you do two damage. But I'm also going to say that for the rest of this combat, he has a minus two to hit because his vision is now blurred. Great. And I have another action. No, you climbed, you jumped. I jumped as the second one. Yes. Thank you. Okay. And then I'm like, it's this fucker. Sounds so much cooler in Freddie. Six syllables. All right, so it is a harpy's move, but also, you see now, this group of skeletons is also now mobilizing. Oh, yes, good. Yes. And one of them leaps over into the. You now have a very full crow's nest, but he has leaped over. He's standing on the barrister there. Is that a barrister? Banister. Banister. Not a barrister. How do I get here? He jumps. He jumps on the banister, which was built by a banister, and he attacks with his sword. Nice. Love that they're using swords. Finally. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Mrs. Poorly, but gets with the spirit. We appreciate him. We appreciate him. Attitude is what counts. Yeah. And you do also see Captain Bagstock is readying a large cross crossbow, but she had to go get it from the captain's quarters. She was gonna get her cutlass, couldn't find it. Oh, that's right. So she grabbed the crossbow instead. Better for rain. Yeah, yeah. In this case, works out well. So, yeah, you see her getting that? Right? So a little bit of harpy action here. So the first thing the harpy does is it uses its. The power of the wind on you. And you feel the wind sort of coalesce around your body and wraps you up and grabs you, and it's trying to pull you out of the crow's nest towards the harpy. So this is a DC21 fort, save to avoid being pulled out of the crow's nest. She's not very hardly 20. Yeah, don't. 26. Don't use that one. 21. 21. Yeah. Fort Fort run it natural. 20. Oh, my Lord. Stop it, please. Yeah, this is. This is now our dice plant power. The people's dice. Wow. Okay. Wow. Yeah. Get that. Absolutely cannot believe it. And screams with rage. Okay, so he is going to surround me like this with wind. And I just hold on my little plant legs loop around the barrister. My client is innocent. Why am I on this ship? Where's my wig? Excellent. Okay, so he is going to take. He can't bite me, which is extremely frustrating. But he is going to try to use his talent. You're going to kabal me. Okay, what I'm going to do here. And that is a. Ugh, God. He rolled a two. So that is a 17. I have an AC 17. Okay, so then he hits you. He hits me. But let's think about this. Okay. I didn't realize he was up for negotiation. Reach the bow. Everything I do have Nimble dodge. That's one of my. As a reaction. Yeah, well, it's a trigger. A creature targets you with an attack. That is a reaction. And then what is it? Requirements are I'm not encumbered. You definitely dodge out of the way. Gaining a plus two circumstance. Exactly what you get that very nimble rogue on his back. He reaches back, he's sure that he's hitting you. But last minute you sneak out of the way Talon. Yeah, that's right. That's right. One single hair get at. Yes, exactly. That's what I was thinking. You're both watching slow mo going. I didn't like that one either. I meant to hit you with that. Everyone really wants to be letting everyone know what they're doing. Just so we're all clear about my intentions. Wanted to hurt your back. I was. And while we're at it, that other thing. She was supposed to come off over the barrister. I tell you, man. Okay. And with its other talent, it is going to go after. Okay, so frustrated still at a minus two for the. Oh, God. Yes. And with a caught a three. So that is an 18, but minus two because it is blurry vision. So. Whoa. And it's a second attack. So. Yeah. So it misses. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I have a 15. Yeah. And misses 15. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby. Okay. Only 45 more rounds. I'm gonna do two things. I'm gonna move towards. Toward the target. Yep. Move closer. And I'm gonna shoot him with my lance. Okay. Maybe I'm gonna fire at one of his wings. Oh, nice. See if I can bring him down. So the Skelebros can you nice harpoons. Two D4s. Yes, but we have to hit first, so it's for 60ft, so you're within range. Okay. And you're gonna make a six attack against its AC. So just roll a D20 and add six. So I got it. Okay. D20 and add six. Yep. Okay. 16 with six. Okay. Plus six. 22 is a hit. The tides of turn. So this is 2D4. Holy damage. I guess I throw it like. Cause it's a lance. Nice. Yeah. Roll D2. D4. Oh, I got to make a hit. Oh, no, you got to do the damage. Yeah. Give me damage. It's one. Small points you want? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, do that twice. Okay. Good luck. Two. Two. Tis a two. Oh, is that the top? The top one, huh? Yep. Three. All right. Five. Damage. Five. Damage. Damage they did to you. The hit was exciting. It was cool. And you did it from a long lock. It was either healer. Yeah. Or now I'm close enough so I can attack him. Nah, that was the better choice. Or no, if he comes down, better choice. Oh, yeah. You destroyed the with wing specific. Yeah, that was a wing specific. Fire at the wing. Yeah. Did we do enough damage? Did you hit the joint? Did you like target? Exactly. That joint not hitting me at all. He seems to be flying. Okay. Yeah. Curses. Yeah. There he is. All right, your turn. Get in on the action by dialing wait at all. Come on. We appreciate the support. All right, you're up. All right, so you're on his back. You're on my side. You just lance the fucker. And you've been quipping up a bowl. I've been wanting. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna. I've got a lot of options here as a barbarian. I'm gonna attack. Yeah. Still within range. Hasn't moved away, right? No. Nope. You're still right there. I'm gonna. Where should I go? Like, the nose? The shoulder? I'll be looking up at you on its back. Just not. Don't hit me. Okay. I'll do my best. You won't hear the end of it. Hack a wing. All right, that's a 20. That's a 20. 20. I'm flanking. I'm flanking. You are flanking. That is absolutely gentrine. 22. Let's go. I rolled five. Three times nine. Damage again. Next. It makes it very easy for me. Yeah, good. Okay. Make a second attack. Yeah. Yeah. Now you're at minus five, but, yeah, that's gonna be 24. 19. Oh, plus two. No. Plus 26. 21. 21. Got what you needed really working out. Come on, five. Come on, five. That's gonna be a 14. Rather a five, but. No, you're right. You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Oh, I can't use a token. No, you killed him. I'm a symmetry buff. All right, so that's two actions. You have one more if you want to do something. Yeah, I'm going to try and leap onto it, too. Oh, okay. Yes. Yes. When this thing goes down, you guys are going to be in trouble. It's going to be interesting. I don't think about that like I'm getting on the action. No, this is my thing. This is my thing. It's my. It's our three. Okay, so acrobatics. Acrobatics. I'm not great at that. Okay, 10. 10. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, It's. Told you this was my thing. You were right. He meant to jump on you. You are right below. Would you like to use your reaction to try to, like, slow his fall a little bit? Yeah. Okay. All right, Great. So the burly elf cleric positions himself underneath you, and you only take two bludgeoning damage as you two to the impact. And while I'm hanging over you, it's kind of like little hug. Aw, thank you, sweet Mary J. Blush. All right, you're up. Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna probably. I'm gonna try for a ranged attack. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. And I am gonna give you that +2 because you are definitely, definitely flanked. I feel like I am flanking the head, like, in flank. Yeah. Flanking Felicia. 20 plus 2. Plus 2. 22. 22 hits. Because I am playing. All right, and then what's my junk? Load, bend, damage that I roll for. So you get an extra D8 on your first hit on this thing. So roll two. D8 damage. Okay, so eight. No lies. Six. Real nice. Okay. 14. Wow. Oh, brutal. Fantastic. All right, here we go. Boom. Stretch. All right, so you hit it. You have another action. You can take another shot if you want. Okay. Might as well do it. Do it. Okay, let's go get a natural 30. Yes. Natural 30. I can't get. Wait, no, I didn't hit it. Okay. All right. Yep. Arrow flies by. Okay, you're up. So then I go timber. And a big tree appears at the top of the. At the top of the ship, and it starts to fall towards the bird. Okay. Let it away so that it does not hit my friend. It's a big bird. There's gotta be. Yeah, it is. It's like more than 10ft. Right? Well, I mean, it's a humanoid with a humanoid on top of it. It's like a head on a head. Oh, it's the same size. Yeah, yeah. It's okay. It's okay. I don't want them to hurt you anymore. Timber. And it falls down towards both of them. Okay. They're both gonna make a reflex save. Okay, so. And what is this spell? Timber. Timber. Okay. Yes. Okay. I was very clever in my casting, so I'm plus eight to reflex. And I got a 12. That's a 20. You're fine. Yes. Okay. And he got a 34. Well, or maybe not. I don't want to see. Never mind. 34. 34. Okay, so hold on. So any creature in the area. Oh, wait. It's a basic reflex save. Creature that critically fails. Okay. Nothing happens. Now. How long does it fall? Continues. Just get out of the way. Are we beneath them? Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just hugging you like Yentrall. Yes. I would like you to make a reflex save as well. Okay. I mean, it's a 15 foot line for the timber. I don't think I'm falling right in the. I mean, really, I'm standing in the line. Yeah. A vertical. Yeah. I'm going to see it fall over the side of the boat. It would have. Yeah. Can I, can I do that? Can I. Reactive. Strike the tree as it's falling to try and cut it with my axe. That's what you use them for. 100%. Yes. Let's go. All right, that is going to be a 17 to hit the tree you hit. It's really big. Okay. Yeah. I'm not expecting that. And the tree takes 14 points of damage from my great axe to try and save you from the impact. Yes. Yes. 14 points of damage. You did it. And it snaps in half. The two halves fly to opposite sides and kill two crew members. Oh, my God. Two skeletons. I just look at Pelanon in the eyes like, wow, this house is cute. But can I really get in the game in this economy? I do have savings and I am responsible. Ish. Ugh. I should bury it. I'm being wild. But what if I'm not being wild, though? Could I actually score a kick off your home buying journey with Zillow's new buyability tool? It makes it easy to find out what you can afford so you can get off the bench and onto the playing field with confidence. Check your buyability only on Zillow. More rewards, more savings with American Express Business Gold. Earn up to $395 back in annual statement credits on eligible purchases at select shipping, food delivery and retail subscription merchants. Enjoy the benefits of membership with the AMEX Business Gold Card. Terms apply. Learn more@american express.com Business Gold AmEx Business Gold Card. Built for business by American Express. Thank you. You saved me. Now I've saved you. Thanks. Thank you. I think that was Bob. Oh, so I didn't. Oh, I'm so. That's right. That's fine. Okay. So that was two actions. I don't even know if I should try anymore. I just make things worse. You're so cute. Just do whatever you do. Okay. You made things awesome. No, I made things, just not in an intentional way. You're the scrubby doo of the group. You just contribute stride. That's amazing. Get him to the end of my life. Oh, no. Come on. Oh, yeah. All right, hand me a 20. It'll get a sickle. All right, you got this. Okay. Your backup sickle. 16 and minus 5. So 11 or whatever. Not getting anywhere near it. You look cute when you were swinging. It is very, very tough. Okay, I believe you're four. Yes. So I am going to take both of my daggers and I'm cling. You know my legs are, like, under the wings, right? Okay. Okay. Yeah, sure. And I'm going to take my daggers and stab them in the abdomen. Stab him in there. Like scissors. Yeah, so scissors it. Yeah, I want to scissors that way. Not this way. Wait, that's like. If you're gonna. Yeah, Mom. Kill. I'm very good at that. That hit me. I haven't told you all my backstory that I had. I did have a couple paragraphs I wanted to share, so. So when I was 17, the Harvey stops. Yes. Okay. So anyway. Yeah. Crazy flap. Yeah, go on. Go out. So I guess I'm plus six. Is this technically two strikes? Cause I'm doing a slicey thing with two daggers. Yeah. It's a 20. Yes. Amazing. Yes. Oh, my. It's right there. I promise. I promise. That's sick. That skill. And it is flanked. So you get your sneak attack damage as well. Yes. So it would normally be a hit, but on a natural 20, it automatically goes up one level. So that is a critical success. So you will roll your 1d6 and your 1d4, add your modifiers, and then you will double the whole darn thing. Oh, my goodness. So I add. Okay, so these two. That would be a four and a six. I'm not kidding. Oh, my Lord. Okay. Oh, that's Insane. Playing it cool. So that's a 10 and then 10 doubled at 20. Massive blow. Yeah. Separates its head. The blood spurts out of its neck as you and the dead harpy fall. You gonna try it down? I can't do anything. The deck of the ship. Someone catch me because I'm cool. Can you get on top of the body? No, that was gross. But also I already used my reaction. Right. Okay, you have a reaction. Would you like to try to catch her? Yes, I'll catch her. Okay. I'll let go and catch me. I can go from dying after scissoring. Yeah, just roll it. And then wait, I'm going to go. And then I'm gonna dive backwards. 14 plus acrobatics. Or. That's right. Yeah, yeah. 5. 21. Okay. 21 is. No, sorry, I can't add 19. 19 is good enough. Okay. So. Yes. So yes, you fly off and the cleric. Ha. I'm sending. Saves you. Amazing. All right. Woo. Yes. The harpy crashes to the deck. The Captain Bagstock had just gotten this damn crossbow ready and won't be able to use it. But you fly over the. The, the town walls. You see the. The guards looking up at you in awe as this ship flies into the center of town. And. And there's the Grand Lodge. There's a. A massive tower. And I, I have. I have a photo of it here. Or a picture of it here. It's not a photograph. None of this is real clear about that. Traveled to another dimension. Managed to take my camera. Good. So this tower. Sky reach. So the ship gracefully docks up against one of those high windows up there. Wow. And Captain Bagstock comes to you and says, my debt to Gemron is now complete. My crew and I have finally earned our eternal race. So I suppose this means the exile will need a new captain. I wonder if you know anybody who might be interested. And he leans into you and it takes you a minute, but you realize that this thing with no eyeball and no eyelids, the son of bitch is trying to wink at you. And he gives you a little that something there. And then collapses into a pile of bones. As do the rest of his crew. But the ship does stay afloat. And this glowing symbol in the middle of the wheel continues to glow. And at the window here that you're docked in front of, you see all of these noble dressed people in finery gathering or around the window and looking. Looking out at you in amazement. I adjust my vest and my cuffs covered in blackened harpy ichor. Yeah. So which one of you wants to be captain? Oh, no, I don't need to be. I'm always in the shadows. No, I need to go around in forests with my cat. I need that long. I don't trust you to drive. Gentlemen. I think ships don't fit in forests. Sorry. Now here's my question. Do I get a sense that whoever becomes captain also becomes a skeleton? Why? I'm saying. Yeah, that's. That's to be determined, I think. Great. I guess we'll pull straws at some point. No one seems to be Palanon. Palanon. Often you are the heart of the group. Do you have interest in being the Cap Mowers ship? I'm honored. Never thought I'd be the captain of an airship. But I think that we make a pretty good team. Yeah. And I know that if I do accept that, I will listen to everyone. It's true leadership. Journey forth. So, yes, if that is fine with everyone. Why not an elphysick? Yes. Attempt Impalable. James. That's gonna be great. Stay in school. So, this is amazing. But the people in the Grand Lodge are still a little bit curious about why you are docked here. Oh, you got a helmet. Yeah. I'm gonna jump up on the banister. Come. Now, good people of Absalom. We need. I bring you a helmet. This tiny, tiny, tiny little helmet. Oh, yeah. You can barely hear me. Go for the wind. Say it again. What now? That sounds like cousin it. All right. Well, they invite you in. So you're gathered together here. And the Venture Captain, Ambris Falson, who is. You all have heard of before. A very important person within the Pathfinder Society comes out to speak to you. To see what this amazing event is that's going on outside his window. I'm a Gris. It's an honor. Ah. It is an honor to be visited by such a remarkable event here. And what is it that you bring to us? Well, apparently Gorham. Okay. And. Are you handing it over? Sorry. Okay. A little sticky. Yeah. Yes, he sees and he. Yes, it does that. Yes, it does. This is remarkable. And you see that the Venture captain immediately recognizes this for what it is. And is truly amazed by your accomplishments here. And he says, this is the most remarkable artifact. I think nothing in our world will ever quite be the same. And this played some part in this amazing event that happened in the sky. I am so grateful to you all for bringing it here. How grateful? I will tell you how grateful. If any of you would be interested in leaving your position as an honorable Discharge. And instead come join the Pathfinder Society and join. You don't need to speak anymore. It's a. Yes. But I did have a. Okay, go on. Sure. Maybe. Yeah. So if any of you would like to change careers and come join us, we would be most honored. Let's go around the table and tell me what you think your reaction is to these possible options that stand before Bronwyn And. And what you think she might do next. Well, I'm. I'm a bit of a wanderer. Grew up that way. I only joined the military because it sounded interesting at the time. I like the bit of changing careers because I'm used to not being, you know, neither this, neither that. So. I look forward to doing something in the future. Yeah. That's different from what I'm doing now, but probably different after that as well. So. Yeah, I'm interested. Excellent. Excellent. I'm glad to hear it. And. And you. Well, this city means a lot to me. As many may know, I love. Let me unroll some backstory. My family was a nobility. I was in love with one of the maid servants who was in my house. My father framed her for robbery. I thought she was dead. I should be taking now. Arranged for my father to be killed in the guillotine, of course. And then I discovered that Syndra, my lover, really was a con woman. So my goal in life is to track her down. Are you okay? Yeah, sure. So, you know, that is my subtext. That I would do at a personal level. Also, the hold of this ship could smuggle some very nice things for the right price. So, yes, I would say I have a lot to do with your company. For the right price. Well, that is the price. I'm offering you a position here in the Bad Fiber Society. I don't know how much you know about what I sacrificed, but she sacrificed the breast of her. She does represent the rosters. Rest of them. Okay. Well, let's talk later. We will talk later. Yes. Yes. And you, sir. Oh, yes. I'm not Russian. Excited, Very excited. Yes. I will take up this honor. We were just in the camp of scratch and it was fine. But not what my life was meant to be about. Found these lovely people. Traveled with them afar. Yeah. And I believe that this is the new path. So as it is, I will fly for you. We will fly for Absalom. Excellent. Oh, and then continue on to everyone else. Yes. Think of their own mind. At least some of us will fly for Absalom. We may all thus far. 3. This means Gromwyn. Already dumped us. But that's okay. We're a four topic. Continue to take a tally of those who will fly for Absalom. No, I think. What? No, no, I think. Not surprising. Yeah. We can go out the ship, right? Yes. India's in ship. We would take our ship. Yeah. Yes. Oh well, we would be flying the navy. That would be an amazing asset to the Pathfinder Society to have a flying pirate ship. Ah, okay, I go. But only if I go on the boat with my friends. I will honor that request and you good sir. First thing, I want to get sleeves to connect these cuffs and this vest. I think that's wise because I want to be amongst high society as a couple. Second. I will join these friends on this ship and dedicate my life to fixing his shrunken hand to the end of my days. Okay. And so you are joining us? Oh yeah, I guess so. Yeah. All right. Good, good, good. I'm glad. Okay. Excellent. All right. So the Helmet of Gorham becomes one of the Pathfinder Society's most closely guarded secrets, you see as they wheel it out into a large warehouse and park it next to the Ark of the Covenant. So the story of what you all have done today may never be shared outside of these walls. But hear that for the true you. Keep it quiet. Tom. Stop. I know you're tight. Stop it. Stop tweeting for the true Pathfinders. And you may be one of them. You will forever be known as the mythic heroes of the Godfall Lake. Dawn hedgeon rearrange the second van life that remote make syncopactic tug of a radis brook will car a card couple crumble basement align perfect uniformity Longbourn several crystals fell all upon every spiel Paizo, you've made this campaign for extra Life possible. We thank you. The adventurers out there destined to walk the halls of the Pathfinder Society all thank you and we look forward to the shared stories told when across time and space heroes join the same table. We are honored by the charge. With Demiplane you can seek out new narrative worlds to set your story in, make new characters, find new groups to play with and parties to join and overall join to bring your tabletop gaming experience into the new age. New players are out there. New legends to inspire. The future of gaming is in the palm of your hand. A very special thank you to Demiplane for bringing this lost odyssey to life together in support of Extra Life for kids. Mythical meets has helped to make this show possible. Few fueling even our players here at the TABLE Check out their brand new official Dungeons and Dragons snack packs and for the first time ever, give each character class a try. Perhaps the Savory Druid, a Fiery Barbarian, the Smoky Rogue, and many, many more now available at mythicalmeats. Dot Ever wanted to be rewarded simply by choosing lawful Stupid? Well, you can now in Esoteric Ebb, where you'll play as one of the most middling clerics in the city of Norvik. When you wake up in a morgue with a lone zombie, half the river in your boots and about 10,000 apples, it's apparent this isn't going to be just a normal day shift. Out of your depth and with no official backup, you head into your beloved city to investigate the fiery destruction of a lone tea shop and step on as many toes as you can as you go Download the demo of Esoteric Ebb on Steam today. A CRPG coming soon from Christopher Beaudegaard and Raw Fury Big Games Miniatures have many beginnings. Miniatures can make the adventure real. You can see it, touch it, build entire worlds from the simplest of ideas. And finally, with heroforge, you can make those ideas come into being. Beadle and Grimm's Pandemonium Warehouse was summoned up by the five founders as a midlife crisis and like any good summoning, it has now gone awry and grown into an actual company only nominally under our control. We are gamers. We love to play games and now we, or at least this thing we have summoned, make loot for gamers like us. We hope these things we have created bring you the same joy that they bring to us. A huge thank you to the entire team at Volante Design for making our incredible Lost Odyssey Godfall player cast look like superheroes out of time. So many fans of story worlds want nothing more than to step right into them and you've seen Volante Design help our players to do just that in every single frame. Tonight, check out their collections of custom fantasy and sci fiware licensed and original gear of all kinds and finally, live your story. Candle Quest tells a story in fire. They've turned immersion itself into a story, each candle with a legend its own narrative layers to experience, each with another piece of story hidden inside. Check out their creations@candlequest.com and we thank them for helping to bring this campaign for Extra Life to audiences everywhere. Moonlight Maps has joined with Lost Odyssey to raise the bar for at the Table adventure, join the community and make every game new. Extra Life thanks Moonlight Maps and looks forward to the adventures to come. We and Extra Life all extend a very special thank you to the artists at Rathskellers. These world class craftsmen have joined with Lost Odyssey and manufactured some of the most beautiful gaming tables we've ever seen. In support of this campaign for Extra Life, Pure Arts is all about detail and partnered alongside Lost Odyssey, they've made huge strides in supporting Extra Life for Kids. Check out their exclusive statues and collectibles. Born of all worlds, Pure Arts sets a new standard in love for our favorite stories. The miniature creations you saw in our tale tonight were expertly crafted by Loot Studios, a creative force and partner of Lost Odyssey's campaign to support Extra Life for Kids gamers all. From printing to to painting to play, Loot Studios is comprehensively elevating the field of miniature tabletop gaming today. Lost Odyssey and Extra Life for Kids would also like to thank Lynx for immersing us and our players in their world of design. The skull and Bone dice you saw, our heroes, adventure journals, even this game master's screen for Lost Odyssey Godfall. All brought to you by the incredible team at Lynx and all available to use in your own games@lynxshop.com and of course, what would our adventures of choice and chance be without their inherent chaos? Dice. A very special thank you to Dispel Dice for their support in this campaign for Extra Life. Dispel Dice has continued to bring storytelling and beauty to gamers of all kinds and are continuing to roll out some of the most beautiful dice exclusives in the gaming world to date. Welcome to the ultimate social deduction game, Blood on the Clock Tower. The evil team must stalk the streets at night, hunting down members of the good team one by one. Meanwhile, the good team must outmaneuver the evil team using their unique abilities. I'd like to kick things off by telling you all that I'm possibly the Demon. Our players can mislead and manipulate others with absolute freedom. I didn't like hearing my name in the same sentence as demon. That was very upsetting for me. Emily and I will be your storytellers, guiding you through every labyrinthian twist and turn. How are there so many evil players in this game? What's happening with guests from no Rules Bard, the Pandemonium Institute and Ox Venture? You won't be able to stop listening. Go to realmspod.com clocktower to find out more. Hey folks. We're the hosts of Comic Sans, the podcast about comics for those who are sans knowledge. I'm Yen, a reader, writer, liver and breather of comic books. And I'm Nat. I used to know absolutely nothing about comics. But now. So actually, I've got a quiz for you. I still have a lot to learn about comics. Thank you. On Comic Hans, I make Nat read some of my favorite works in the medium, including Saga, Daredevil and the Flintstones. And Yann talks about what makes that comic special. Sometimes it's a story, sometimes it's paneling, gutters, page turns, colorings, lettering, semiotics, juxtaposition. Okay, professor, save it for the episodes. You can listen to Comic Sans on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can BINGE Our first two seasons, that's over 20 episodes on 20 different comics. And we just launched season three. New episodes every two weeks. Have you ever heard about the 19th century French actress when with so many lovers that they formed a lovers union? Or what about the aboriginal Australian bandit who faked going into labor just to escape the police, which she did escape from them. It was a great plan. How about the French queen who murdered her rival with poison gloves? I'm Anne Foster, host of the feminist women's history comedy podcast Vulgar History. Every week I share the saga of a woman from history whose story you probably didn't already know and you will never forget after you hear it. Sometimes we reexamine well known people like Cleopatra or Pocahontas, sharing the truth behind their legends. Sometimes we look at the scandalous women you'll never find in a history textbook. Listen to Vulgar History wherever you get podcasts. And if you're curious, the people I was talking about before, the Australian woman is named Marianne Bug and the French actress was named Rochelle, no less. Name just Rochelle. And the queen who poisoned her rival is Catherine de Medici. I have episodes about all of them.