The Terror Squad Awakens | Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode | Episode 0

Summary

Podcast Summary: Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry – "The Terror Squad Awakens" | Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode | Episode 0

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Introduction

In Episode 0 of Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode, hosted by Amy Vorpahl and featuring cast members Danielle Radford, Dan Casey, and Jason Nguyen, the stage is set for an epic tale of minions stepping into the spotlight. This prequel session zero dives deep into character creation, laying the foundation for the adventures that will unfold in the series.

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Character Creation

• Setting the Scene

  Amy Vorpahl introduces the world where three minions—normally subordinates to the evil necromancer Eunzu—find themselves potentially taking charge after Eunzu’s mysterious disappearance. The characters are henchmen navigating life in a dungeon, contemplating whether to remain hidden or step into the light to forge their own destinies.

• Defining the Characters

  • Dan Casey as Grim Fist (00:00 - 01:01)

    Dan envisions his character as a skeleton, freshly resurrected, eager to impress Eunzu. Grim Fist believes in ascending the ranks by uncovering secrets and mastering necromancy. He reflects, “He''s just trying to, like, impress the boss. If I do a good job, maybe Eunzuk will take notice” (01:27).

  • Danielle Radford as Tippy (01:01 - 02:46)

    Danielle chooses to portray Tippy, a goblin burdened with large bags and tools, embodying the role of a clumsy yet aspirational minion. Tippy grapples with an existential crisis, questioning his purpose beyond blindly following orders. Danielle remarks, “He’s just a goblin who has no idea... there's something about that I want to incorporate, like... quite gullible” (11:27).

  • Jason Nguyen as Busy (02:46 - 04:50)

    Jason opts to play Busy, a skeleton with a penchant for affable evil. Busy combines bureaucratic diligence with a soft-hearted nature, much like Michael from The Good Place. “I’m very nice and sweet, but yeah, no, like evil is what I do” (09:19).

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Gameplay Mechanics

• Simplified Rules for Session Zero

  Amy introduces a modified version of Lasers and Feelings, designed to streamline character creation without delving into extensive stats. Characters assign a style (e.g., beautiful, cunning, dangerous) and a numerical attribute ranging from 1 to 5 to dictate their abilities during the game.

• Character Attributes and Styles

  • Dan selects the style "mad" with a medium attribute score.
  • Danielle chooses "strange" and ranks herself as clever.
  • Jason opts for "beautiful" and a high intellect score.

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Initial Role-Play Actions

• Entering the Dungeon

  The session kicks off with the characters being transported in a cart to Eunzu's lair. As they arrive, Amy describes a grim environment filled with torture chambers and remnants of battles. The minions are introduced to their new roles, tasked with terrorizing adventurers.

• Interactions and Deceptions

  • Deceptive Maneuvers: Tippy attempts to play dead to blend in, while Busy volunteers to take on more active roles to impress Eunzu. Danielle narrates Tippy’s efforts: “Tippy's gonna pass out and pretend” (47:47), highlighting the blend of humor and strategy in their actions.

  • Combat Attempts: Dan tries to distract adversaries by removing his arm, leading to an unexpected confrontation. Quotes like Dan’s humorous reflection, “It's a socialist paradise. You guys love a pile here,” (99:23) inject levity into tense situations.

• Developing Dynamics

  The characters navigate their first mission, engaging with a mimic chest and encountering adventurers. Their attempts at deception and combat showcase their growing cohesion as a team, setting the tone for future adventures.

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Insights and Conclusions

• Survival and Hierarchy

  The characters' ability to survive prolonged dungeon life against odds introduces themes of resilience and questioning authority. Amy hints at "plot armor" protecting them, fostering intrigue about larger forces at play.

• Character Growth

  Through the role-play, characters begin to understand their strengths and weaknesses, preparing for the challenges ahead. Danielle’s Tippy and Jason’s Busy especially illustrate the balance between personal motives and overarching duties.

• Future Plot Points

  The session closes with the minions being formally assigned their duties within Eunzu's lair, hinting at upcoming training and missions that will test their loyalty and skills.

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Notable Quotes

• Dan Casey as Grim Fist

  “If I do a good job, maybe Eunzuk will take notice.” (01:27)

• Danielle Radford as Tippy

  “Tippy's gonna pass out and pretend.” (47:47)

• Jason Nguyen as Busy

  “I like affable evil. I’m very nice and sweet, but yeah, like evil is what I do.” (09:19)

• Dan Casey Reflecting on His Character

  “A socialist paradise. You guys love a pile here.” (99:23)

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Conclusion

Episode 0 serves as a robust foundation for Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode, introducing listeners to a world where minions rise above their roles to carve out their own narratives. Through engaging character creation and dynamic role-play, the episode promises an exciting journey filled with humor, strategy, and unexpected twists.

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Stay tuned for the next episodes as the Terror Squad navigates the complexities of dungeon life and beyond, delving deeper into their quests and the mysteries surrounding Eunzu's disappearance.

Transcript

[Amy Vorpal]

Bingo Blitz rules.

[Danielle Ran]

If your bingo has ads in it.

[Amy Vorpal]

That'S not a bingo.

[Danielle Ran]

If it doesn't have the coolest tournaments.

[Dan Casey]

Mini games, and the most breathtaking design.

[Danielle Ran]

Nope, not a bingo.

[Dan Casey]

If your bingo moment makes you feel so excited that you just want to.

[Amy Vorpal]

Burst in joy and scream out loud, Bingo. Sorry.

[Danielle Ran]

So you're playing Bingo Blitz.

[Amy Vorpal]

Now that's a bingo. Cover a world of excitement with Bingo Blitz, the number one free bingo game. Download Bingo Blitz and play for free.

[Dan Casey]

Now that's a Bingo. This episode is brought to you by US Cellular. Some things are worth waiting for, like getting your diploma or finding the right partner. You know what's not worth waiting for?

[Danielle Ran]

The cable guy. Fortunately, US Cellular's Home Internet is so simple to install, you can do it yourself.

[Amy Vorpal]

And it's just $39.99 per month when.

[Danielle Ran]

Bundled with a wireless plan with a three year price lock guarantee. US Cellular Home Internet made simple without the waiting terms apply. Visit uscellular.com for details.

[Dan Casey]

Hello there prospective members of the Terror Squad. It's Dan Casey from Sagas of Sundry Goblin Mode AKA Ya Boi Fibs. Now you might be wondering, hey Dan, where is goblin mode episode 12? It was supposed to be in my feed this week. Well folks, we're actually going on a midseason break after the thrilling finale to episode 11. If you know, you know we're going on a midseason break for the holidays because even Goblins and skeletons need to go back and see their families once in a while. Now our ongo story episodes of Goblin mode will resume January 6, 2025. But don't worry, we're not going to leave you high and dry. Rather, we have a bunch of fun surprises cooked up for you that are going to be deploying each and every week across Geek and Sundry. Today I'm really excited we have episode zero. If you've played RPGs, you may know what this is. This is the first time any of us sat down to play together at a table. This is the first time any of these characters were given life. You get to see us create these characters in real time and go on a full on Prequel ADV Adventure. Five years, maybe 10 years. Five years at least. Who knows? Five to 10 years. Let's call it that before the events of Episode one. So without further ado, thank you so much for joining us and we hope you enjoy Goblin Mode Episode zero. Hi everyone. Welcome to the session Zero for a to be titled series on Geek and Sundry in partnership with Relm. It is a sprawling fantasy epic the likes of which you've never seen before, especially if you've never seen any fantasy before. Now, we're going to have a lot of fun on this. We're going to tell an ever evolving story, improvisational, emergent narrative, with some of the funniest, most talented people I know. We have an amazing storyteller, Amy Vorpal.

[Amy Vorpal]

Hi.

[Dan Casey]

We have Jason Nguyen, Danielle Ran, and me, your boy, Dan Casey, who. Yes, I happen to be here and walk into the studio. And here we are. So I'm very excited about this. This is something we've been working on for a long time, but today we're just going to have a lot of fun. We're going to sort of get used to what it's like to play as a group. And I believe that Amy has prepared something for us, so I will hand over the reins to you.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, my gosh. Well, awesome. I wanted to. Yeah. Get a feel for getting it. So we're going to be playing D&D 5e 5th Edition rules for the main game, but for Session 0, I wanted something that would be a little more simplistic. That didn't make you define exactly all the stats and numbers for your character sheet. And also, you are level zero. You're not level one yet. So I decided that we would play a Lasers and Feelings modification. And Lasers and Feelings is a game that is. Has basically like, maybe two rules and two mechanics. And it's by John Harper and it's based on the songs of the Doubleclicks, who are my friends. So it's all coming together. But first, I did want to just kind of go over what the world and, like, what our goals for the storytelling actually are. Because I want to also talk about what. Where you all think that your characters might fit and what your characters might be, what. What we're playing with is. Or you all are playing the henchmen of a kind of cartoony villains layer. Cartoony meaning could be Dungeons and Dragons there. It is going to be very grounded, but we're going to go with more of the, like, oh, you are the guys that, you know, you go to fight the evil sorcerer and then just start sending you people to kind of take your number go downy as you. As you fight. And. And your job is also to make their number go downy. And as you make their number go downy, then the bad guy's number go downy also. But in the. In the. In the. In the grand scheme of things and the way that storytelling works Is that these numbers, these hit points kind of are just hit points. They're. They're lackluster. They mean nothing. They may or may not even. They definitely don't have any names. But you all are playing those people. So you do have names and you do have motivations and wants and needs and the. So we're just going to play with the kind of biology and the way the dungeons work, the ergonomics or lack thereof of a real dungeon and how you fit in there. So the way the first episode. Not today, but the way the first episode will start is that you've been in this world. You're these henchmen, your minions, for lack of a better term, and you're just going about your lives, you know, marching through the dungeons or whatever. But the. Where we're starting is the dungeon has been overtaken and it, it was, I don't know, looted. The big bad was killed and you're left with nothing. Like, actually you're, you're. They thought they killed. They wiped the whole dungeon. You're kind of the last ones left alive. So today we're going to be playing like the, the version where you get carted in and are assigned a role. It's your first day at work and. Yeah. But the world itself, we will be going out in the world. So it's not just going to be like you exploring the remnants of what the. The dungeon that has been decimated is like, oh, I never knew that this lover did.

[Dan Casey]

Unless we all refuse.

[Amy Vorpal]

That's true. I forget that I'm not in charge here, but. But you'll be going out in the world with your mindset of like, oh, this is how my world works in these very cartoony rules. And then you'll be going out in the world, experiencing that maybe, maybe the world is bigger and worse off or better off than you thought.

[Danielle Ran]

So we are henchmen for sure. And we're in a dungeon. And so where.

[Dan Casey]

We're.

[Danielle Ran]

Where the story might take off is us either leaving the dungeon or maybe staying in the dungeon. Is that what it sounds like is going to.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, you'll be, you'll. You'll be leaving the dungeon. We might be like, God, God help us all. You'll be. Yeah, you'll. You'll start. Well, I haven't decided exactly, like, what the story is going to be at the very, very, very beginning. But yeah, by episode two, you'll be out in the world for sure.

[Jason Nguyen]

Cool.

[Amy Vorpal]

So you'll be starting at level one, on episode one, and just So, I mean, you probably already know this, but in D and D, if you're a level one character, you are an adventurer. Like, you're all right. You're cool. You've got magic, you've got. You've got your skills. Something happened that turned your life into something greater than other people's. So, like, 99% of the population are commoners, slash non combatants. And then you, as a level one person already, even though you're weak, weaker than other heroes, you still are a hero. So something has happened in between your first day and where you are now that's like, oh, wait, actually, like, you actually have skills. That being said, you're very low level in the. In the dungeon in Unzug is the. Is the. Is the big bad's name. So you're still low, low level. You. You actually have never really even interacted with Eunzoo. And. And you're. You're still. Even years later after your first day, you're still in the proverbial mail room. There's a hierarchy, and you're still at the bottom of it fighting adventurers. You would just be the minions that are supposed to be killed. And how you've lasted this long is very, very important that you've lasted this long. It's kind of cool, actually. You were supposed to be dead and pummeled on the pavement. Just a juicy sack of meat and flesh ages ago. Anyone have any ideas of, like, where they want to fit in or what their character might be?

[Jason Nguyen]

I love affable evil. I think affable evil is super funny. So, like, I wanted to play kind of with the idea of there's a little bit of that, like, bureaucrac of just being, like a hench person, but also, like, you know, one of these days, like, I'm gonna get, you know, the brass, like, whatever the version of the brass ring is here. Probably something cursed, like, really trying to, like, you know, like, you know, if they keep noticing me, you know, very much that. That scene in, like, Coming to America, it's like, see, today I'm washing lettuce. Like, that's kind of the attitude.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, Aspirational.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, like, just very, like, like, very nice and sweet. But it's like, yeah, no, like, evil is what I do. It's like, you know, sometimes you, like, sometimes you, like, stab at you sometimes, whatever. But, you know, I also, like, like a nice cup of tea or whatever. So maybe so like, a little bit of that mixed with, like, maybe some, like, Michael in the good Place of. I'm like, a nice person. I do evil stuff, but that's like my job, you know?

[Amy Vorpal]

Cool.

[Jason Nguyen]

Like, look, heroes need to be killed. Whatever.

[Amy Vorpal]

That's fine.

[Jason Nguyen]

They suck.

[Amy Vorpal]

Is there a race that you're thinking of? That is one thing that I will want to keep the same, like, from this game to the first game is your race that you're playing.

[Jason Nguyen]

I was thinking orc. I've never been an orc.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Yeah. And. And keep in mind, that's a good one. Is if there's anything that's kind of even off the beaten path where you're like, oh, maybe I could play a kobold or a goblin or a skeleton. Like, we can do that too. I. I really want to. If there's off. Off the beaten path races, like, I really want to picture that these minions are really like. Like, literally their jobs are to march one, two, three steps. Wait, two beats march to the left. Three, two, three. Oh, you know what I mean? Like, you're really your code in a video game.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah. So. Oh, okay. Well, then initially, yeah, I would love to do a skeleton.

[Dan Casey]

I'm just thinking very, like, exactly where I was landing.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah.

[Dan Casey]

Like, rusty iron sword, tattered mail. The way I envision it for this first episode, zero is this is the first day he has been brought back to life, and he is just thrilled about it. And he thinks that Eunzoug is the coolest thing since sliced bread. The power to resurrect people and command the necromantic arts. Oh, my God. What an amazing thing to do. I wonder if I could do that someday instead of just marching around with this rusty iron sword. Maybe I could trade that in for a spell book. But nah, maybe I'm thinking too far above my station. I better really impress the boss. If I do a good job, maybe Eunzuk will take notice.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes. Okay. Fantastic. I love it.

[Danielle Ran]

I love all of this now, knowing that they're like, just the henchmen that are, like, marching on beat and like, that's all they're doing. Initially, I was thinking, like, of playing a Tabaxi, because I've never played anything like that. You know, that's like a cat person. I've never played anything like that before, but it sounds like it might be cooler to play a goblin, you know what I mean? Just because I love the idea of, like, characters who. Whose only purpose has been to follow orders, and now it has. Like, there's a big void and they have to figure out who they are. And so there's something about that, that I want to incorporate like this character who's, you know, not necessarily dumb, but like quite gullible. And maybe that's how they ended up in this army in the first place. Right? Yeah, that's where I'm inching towards right now.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. So if not. So. So someone who's just like at the outset physically looks like an evil person. Like that would be like a goblin or sk. Do undead. We could do. I'm looking. I. I made a list. You could do like an evil beast or an imp. Like a, A fiend kind of character. Imps or kobolds. Messed up elementals they have. What are they called? I can't remember, but like mushroom Myconids and.

[Dan Casey]

Oh yeah, little mushroom people.

[Amy Vorpal]

Little mushroom people. They're monsters. I mean, if you have a. If you have a monster manual, it might flip through. I mean, I, I'm down to like, mess with stats and character builds for anything, but. Yeah, are any types. Like, you could be a fake creature, a Fae evil creature or construct. Here's what I was thinking is you are a warforger. You are machine. Obviously you've got. We can have. You have some bionic parts too. Like back in the day, you were whatever you were a Tabaxi or something. But now you're this kind of almost a droid. Like. Like a Star wars droid. And, and what you can do is have the limbs, but you can detach them at will or crumple in a pile together and then build yourself back up. So it's kind of like almost like the skeleton. Like the skeleton can. I mean, pretty. With a small spell, something that's not too powerful could just be resurrected. Maybe one of you could even resurrect or just be like, oh my God, we've got to respawn him again. Let's wait for him to respawn. And just like that, you could get torn to shreds, almost like C3PO and just be like, okay, well, we're carrying him around on our backs right now, but we just. All we have to do is go get his legs. So whenever we can connect his legs again, like you, I. I like this idea that there's something preventing you from actually dying. Because by all rights, after years of being in this dungeon, you should be dead. You should be so, so dead. And you're just not.

[Dan Casey]

Have nine lives.

[Amy Vorpal]

Have nine lives. You could be. Yeah, like, you could be shaped like a Tabaxi, but I would. I would want it to lean a little bit more Tabaxi feels. This is. This is just my perception. They feel heroic. They feel like adventuring heroes, and I want. I want a minion.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah. No, I'm. I'm absolutely down.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, well, what do you think?

[Danielle Ran]

I. I like the idea of Warforged. I also like the idea of, like, there's something about Goblin that is appealing to me, too, because they're just, like, the fodder. You know what I mean? Like, every DND session or every game I've ever played, they're just like, Goblins are the first no questions asked. You know, they're getting. They're getting an ax of the face for no reason.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. And they're normally gross and, like, have some. Some bodily fluid coming out of something all the time.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah. Yeah, I might. Yeah. I kind of like that because I feel like Warforged is cool, but I feel like for me, I would. I would end up just being really risky, like. Like, in a maybe bad way, you know? Oh, yeah. I could just repair myself.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't. Yeah. I will say, like, even if the skeleton dies, like, I don't want it to be like, oh, we can just do. And he's back to life. Like, there will be stakes and challenges to it, but the logic of you guys surviving for what I think is like a decade in a dungeon where you're meant to be fodder, is there. There is something to it where it's like, oh, yeah, like, there's necromantic arts, maybe for the skeleton, but there's also. Yeah, you're. You're, like, recycled. Yeah.

[Dan Casey]

Like, on LinkedIn, it would say the average employee stays here for six months.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes. Yes, exactly. But somehow you've, like. You continued.

[Dan Casey]

Defied the odds.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, you've defied the odds, exactly. I love a goblin. I love a skeleton. Danielle, you were going down a little bit of both of those paths. Do you want to. Do you want to hop on board or do you want to try something else?

[Jason Nguyen]

No, I really like the skeleton because I'm just thinking, like, Jason and the Argonauts, just like. Like, because, like, I just, you know, like the idea of being as part of a phalanx and being as part of, like, that group, and then, of course.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

With all the fun things of, like, oh, no, no, I'm just bones. How do I be less bones? Yeah, well, no, because, like. And then that's also when you go in the real world and it's like, oh, like, you're so used to fighting the big fleshy people. And when you are obviously like a skeleton, like immediately, as soon as people look at you like they want to attack you.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

They're drawn to attack you.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. They immediately think you're a threat. You'll be dealing with some. Yeah. Some absolute in world prejudice against evil minions, which you are. Okay. Okay, so if we have two skeletons and a goblin, does that feel good or do you all want to keep talking about it?

[Jason Nguyen]

Honestly, I feel like I've had that fight where it's been two skeletons in a cop. Like, I feel like. I feel like I've been in that dungeon.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, awesome. And Dan, you mentioned that you found some homebrew.

[Dan Casey]

Yeah, I found a cool. I found a cool homebrew for playing skeletons and undead specifically.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, cool. And then, Jason, we'll work together. I think Volos has some character builds or some. Yeah, some like how to play a PC for some monsters. Maybe goblins. I can't remember, but I think. I think we might be all set there too. And then also. Yeah, if I'm down, I'm down. I'm down for homebrews. I'm down for this also to be a game that's. I don't want to say. Well, it'll be the rule of cool. It just is the rule of cool. And we're kind of. We're fudging with the. The normal high fantasy tropes, so that'll be fine.

[Dan Casey]

Is it gonna gum up the works for you too much if you had. Were you envisioning like, three different.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah.

[Dan Casey]

Races? Cause I'm. I'm happy to change the conc.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, I'm not. I wasn't envisioning anything. I like literally what I was envisioning. I mean, I really was envisioning video game code where it's like. Okay, like the guys in Zelda that just march around. So, I mean, as far as I.

[Dan Casey]

Can say, I had that other character concept. I could pivot to a sort of like, weird warforged with just a little bit of like, biological matter left or just whatever's going to work.

[Amy Vorpal]

I think this works. I think it's fun. I think it's fun to have one. One fleshy goblin and one bony. And two bony bone people.

[Dan Casey]

You're not going to trust us bone folks. You got to go in there.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, no, I think that's great. I'm very happy with it. And it does fit the bill. And I think it'll be nice to have. We'll have the Dan version. Whatever his character is. We'll have the Danielle version of Skeletons and see that not all skeletons are the same. Not even all minions are the same. Not even all video game code is the same.

[Jason Nguyen]

They are all named Dan, though. Every skeleton I know. And I was saying that.

[Amy Vorpal]

I was like, oh, my gosh. Dan and Danny. Okay.

[Dan Casey]

Cool graveyard he robbed.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, this homebrew looks really cool. Yeah, they did.

[Dan Casey]

I was going to say they did a good job with it. And I sidebarred with another DM pal of mine. I was like, does this look broken to you in any way? The thing that he had flagged was, I think it was bone pile, which he thought was quite funny, where it's an ability where when you're reduced to zero hit points but not killed outright, you can drop to one, and in doing so, you just reduce yourself to a pile of bones and you go prone, and it's like you're under the death spell, but you can't move or take actions other than ending that effect till the. You can't use it again till you finish a long rest. So it's kind of like the half orc ability where I forget what it's called, where it's like relentless endurance, where if they go down to zero, they automatically go back to one hit point because they're just built for tough. So that's definitely same vein, but it didn't seem to be overtly broken like some of the other homebrew stuff I've seen out there.

[Amy Vorpal]

That's great. That's a really. Yeah. That mechanic fits in with, like. Yeah. Video game rules, where you're like, you know. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking again of Zelda, where you, like, kill the skeleton people and they don't hit bouncing around. Yeah. And they're not dead yet, but. And they could just rebuild if they find their. Anyway, whatever. Yeah, but that's.

[Danielle Ran]

That's.

[Amy Vorpal]

That's a really cool mechanic. Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

I'm looking through this.

[Amy Vorpal]

Is there.

[Jason Nguyen]

Can I throw my bones at people? Am I able to throw bones?

[Amy Vorpal]

I'll allow it.

[Dan Casey]

There is a. There is a rule. There is a. In this. It says bone to pick. Whenever both of your hands are free, you may choose to use a free hand and a bonus action to remove one of your hands or arms, and then it counts as a weapon. Weapon that does 1d6 bludgeoning damage.

[Amy Vorpal]

They've thought of everything. This is great. I want to know who to give credit to, because this is.

[Dan Casey]

It's down there at the bottom. This is Walrock Homebrew and it on here design. But I don't know if this is the Photoshop design or what, but I believe it's from Walrock Homebrew.

[Amy Vorpal]

And Jason, if the Goblin doesn't have fun stuff like that, we'll come up with some.

[Danielle Ran]

No, no, no. I love that. I honestly am in love with the idea of being, like, a plain Jane goblin who has no idea.

[Amy Vorpal]

Basic. Okay.

[Danielle Ran]

You know what I mean? Like. Like he should have no advantages, you know?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes. Awesome. Okay, cool. I've heard the races. I've heard kind of where your mindset is, you know, the skeleton. Skeleton thinks that Eunzuk is the best thing since sliced bread. Other skeleton. Danielle, you're kind of aspirational. And, you know, this isn't forever, even though it's been a long part of your life. And then, Jason, where's your mind at for this Goblin?

[Danielle Ran]

I think for right now, it's Goblin discovering morality. But he's like a gun. He's about to die. And. Yeah, doesn't. Right. You know.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so you're having existential crisis.

[Danielle Ran]

Existential crisis. Goblin, for sure. And for some reason, you know, maybe. You know, maybe he has. He has all his names, but I just love the idea of a character who can't stop falling down for no reason at all. You know, maybe he's got, like. Maybe he's very unlucky. Maybe he's, you know, got balance issues, but, like, tripping all the time, I think is an interesting thing for a henchman to be doing.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, yes. It just. Yeah, just out. Out of. Really clumsy, I guess, but I guess.

[Danielle Ran]

Clumsy, that would be. Maybe that's his, like, anxious thing that he does. It's just fall down.

[Dan Casey]

Manifests in Mr. Lagooing his way out of death.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dan Casey]

Trips, Trips. A tripwire. But then the blade just misses.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

I. I love this. Jason, I want to make your existential crisis come in episode one or two or like. Like at the beginning of that. Maybe not. Session zero. Right? Session zero. I mean, all you are just kind of like, yep, this is my lot in life. You know, it's kind of like you graduated from college and then you think you have to get a job like that because that's what's been told to you. Like, that's. That's what you do. So wherever you're coming from, that. That is what happens. I also like the idea of these skeletons, like. Like having a past actual life that you just don't know about yet or.

[Dan Casey]

100% my character concept.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Dan Casey]

It's basically as long as he can remember. He's wanted to work for Eunzoug because he can't remember anything that happened before his bones suddenly came back to life. He's curious about it but doesn't even know where to start looking. But it's always like a nagging thing at the back of where his brain would be of what happened to me, how did I get here? And maybe if I learn some of the secrets that Eunzoo knows, if I can get to his level, I can learn the truth.

[Amy Vorpal]

Amazing. Amazing. I also. Here's a question. As far as skeletons go. Skeletons mean that you are a skeleton of a creature that was once alive. So are you human skeletons?

[Dan Casey]

At least in my initial sort of plotting, he has no idea he. That's part of it. He doesn't know what he was. He thinks he was a human but he's like, I don't know. Was I. Was I a half elf? Would they have pointy ears? I guess they wouldn't have ear bones. That's cartilage but okay. More like is he several different bone structures welded together. But in my head I think it was ultimately going to be human.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Or we could say humanoid at least.

[Dan Casey]

Yes.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, great. And. And Danielle is there.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, I think humanoid. Humanoid as well. Just because like, because I'm trying to think if, because if I do other races I think I would wind up making it a hat on a hat. Like I just know myself so it would wind up being like way too much.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay.

[Jason Nguyen]

So yeah, I think sticking with, with humanoid is, is good.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. And then we'll get into stats like how tall you are and just like your, your overall presence like if you're. If you're thick boned or, or frail. Frail and bird Bo. Else that y'all want me to know or that you're thinking or any questions about the world before we get started.

[Danielle Ran]

The. Are we thinking about class yet or are we thinking. Is that something I'm.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, let's maybe. I'd love to hear any, any ideas for class because yeah, we will be playing with the D&D 5E classes.

[Dan Casey]

I'll just say I'm. I'm always. The way I usually approach it is. I like to find out what the party needs and I usually try to fill that gap. So if you feel passionate about something, go right ahead. I don't want to step on any toes.

[Danielle Ran]

I've always. I've never done it before because it just feels so like out there. But I've always wanted to try playing an artificer. It feels so different than anything I've ever done before. And now I'm thinking the idea of a goblin with a gun is like, super funny to me.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, he's got a gun.

[Danielle Ran]

He got a gun. Run.

[Dan Casey]

I mean that. I like that because then it could be explained, like, if we fall apart, you at least have the artifice or knowledge to maybe put us back together.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah, I, I love artificers too.

[Jason Nguyen]

They're.

[Amy Vorpal]

They're a newer class and, And I, I don't. I've never run a game with an artif. No, that's not true. Oh my God. I, I ran a game for like my little nephews when they were like 5 and 7 and 8. And the 5 year old chose artificer and because he liked the idea of having a pet robot that would follow him around. Of course he did. And so. But he, like, got like, he. Yeah, it was like, oh, artificers. Because artificers can really. I mean, they can be pretty powerful. Especially when you start. Yeah. Like messing with stuff and creating stuff. So. Yeah. Great, done, great.

[Jason Nguyen]

I was thinking because so much of this is kind of that, like, born, well, not sexy in this point because we're all like, gross and Minini, but like, that grow that like, born sexy yesterday kind of trope of us like, coming into the real world. I think it would be really funny to like, be a bard, like.

[Amy Vorpal]

Like.

[Jason Nguyen]

Trying to figure out like, how to be like, you know, like, oh, apparently I can like, I can talk to animals or like, oh, humans play. Like, oh, when I was in the dungeon, I never played a lute.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, you just, yeah, you just had to. You just had to come out of. You just had to shake things up a bit and then you found like some hidden talent.

[Jason Nguyen]

Right. And when you're constantly like, being, you know, like downed, not dead, but like being downed or like fighting and stuff.

[Amy Vorpal]

So.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, so once you go into the world, it's like, oh, music. Like, oh, I can do that. Or I've never tried that. Maybe I can like, give that a shot. And like, that can be part of the exploration of like, what does it mean to be like a person who isn't just made to collapse into bones while someone is like, looking for, you know, treasure or whatever.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, because you're discovering, like, your soul. Like, you have. You have a voice. Oh my God, that's hilarious. The skeleton discovers they have a voice. Okay, great.

[Jason Nguyen]

Prepare for a lot of bad singing.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm ready for it.

[Dan Casey]

Bring it up. Then we can release the original cast album. It'll be perfect.

[Amy Vorpal]

Dan, any thoughts so far? So far we have a lot of.

[Dan Casey]

Support characters which are all about, wow, it's crazy. We keep dying in every place.

[Amy Vorpal]

No constitution.

[Dan Casey]

Based on that. I think what I would opt towards is just playing off of that like Skyrim ass, like skeleton, not a draugr because I hate them and they just pop out and jump. Scare you.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Dan Casey]

That's why you just attack every corpse you see in life and in Skyrim. So I think what I would do is probably go for a fighter. So that way we have someone to be kind of like playing off the idea that oh yeah, he's spent his time in this dungeon basically just being like, he's got it. He's got, he's earned that rust on his iron sword. He's like been in a lot of like skeleton wars. He's just always getting sent into battle and somehow emerging unscathed or just a little bit at scathed is the treat. And I think eventually, you know, kind of want to play into that curiosity about maybe some like forbidden lore, either multi class into wizard or sorcerer or something like that. Or maybe look for something like I'm looking on D and D Beyond right now. I'm looking at like maybe like an Eldritch knight or something like, like that where it's flashing a little bit into spell casting. So it's not because I, I find the fighter pretty boring as like the level scales up. So having that flex ability I think would be more.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm so glad you said ability. Yes. Instead of just having that flex of spells.

[Jason Nguyen]

Having that flex.

[Dan Casey]

Yeah, that's a can't flex. There's, there's no, there's no muscle matter. Just droop.

[Amy Vorpal]

I like that. I like a little more, a little starting a little more basic as well. Yeah. I mean all of this sounds really good. I'm also. I know Dan, you're trying to fit a hole, fill in a hole. But we, we don't have to fill in a hole. Like I am so down with everyone being a support, A support character.

[Dan Casey]

Okay. I mean because otherwise, otherwise he would have been like wizard. Like he would have to work his way up to sort of like Necromancer's Apprentice.

[Amy Vorpal]

But I'm, I'm, I also like, I guess because you were so enamored with the necromancy, like there could be, there could be a warlock in there too.

[Dan Casey]

Oh, he makes a deal with some sort of entity to be like Eunzuk will Never let me read his book. So I gotta find my own path. Oh, what's this? What's this rune I should touch?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. I don't want to. I don't want to, like, tell you what to do, but, like, there's part of me that's like, just, like. Just to, like, choosing a fighter just to. Okay, we need a tank. Like, that's so. That's so 2000s D&D. You know, like, we might.

[Dan Casey]

We might have 2000 and late. Amy.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm just saying that, like, I. It might. Especially based on the premise, like, it might be really fun to be.

[Dan Casey]

To have kind of screens.

[Danielle Ran]

Like. Yeah. Not. Not the ideal party, maybe.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, that's what. That's. I. I want to lean more that way. Again, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I don't know.

[Dan Casey]

Then I'm not.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm not. I'm not out here being like, oh, I can kill them immediately.

[Danielle Ran]

It's just all wizards, no hp.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, my gosh. But yeah. What. What do y'all think? As. Because it's going to be your party, would you like a. I love the.

[Danielle Ran]

Idea that they were never meant to be an adventuring group. So it makes.

[Amy Vorpal]

To me.

[Danielle Ran]

It makes sense that, like, like, it's like they didn't recruit like, the fighter and the healer. I think it's like a hot. Like a bard and an artificer and like a wizard.

[Amy Vorpal]

What.

[Danielle Ran]

You know what I mean?

[Dan Casey]

Or, like, survived magic.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ran]

Ends up being. It's like, how are they gonna make it? To me, that's very interesting.

[Amy Vorpal]

Right? Like, they wouldn't have. They wouldn't have put this party together. It's just that they were the. They were the ones that survived.

[Danielle Ran]

They survived, right.

[Amy Vorpal]

What do you think, Dan?

[Dan Casey]

I dig that. I like the idea that I. Honestly, I was. I was just trying to find a way, like, okay, how can I ramp out of being just a fighter? But that is. Yeah. I will happily.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, the easiest way to ramp out of not being a fighter is to not be a fighter. Is there so some kind of spellcaster? Do you want to. Do you want to hint at one or the other at the moment or just.

[Dan Casey]

Yeah, I mean, I'm pro. I was probably leaning wizard, but let me look at. At from a narrative perspective. Let me do some digging and see if warlock or sorcerer makes more sense. I kind of like, if I remember properly, Sorcerer. It's a little less controlled and a little less studied.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. Sorcerer. You're just born with it in your blood. You have dragon ancestry. On some level, even if you're a human, there's some dragon magic going on just in your blood. So you just have magic. You're right about warlock. You make a pact with a demon and the demon is actually giving you the. The magic. And then. Yeah. Wizard is studied through books.

[Dan Casey]

We can probably talk about this more in the character creation session too. But I'm just thinking, like, okay, there's definitely different pathways in. Like, maybe I one day plucked up the courage to read one of Eunzuk's books and accidentally summoned a demon who just. The cur. My curiosity got the better of me.

[Amy Vorpal]

But I also love. I mean, yeah, like, if you're a wizard, you do have to carry around a spell book. Like, you do have to.

[Dan Casey]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Like, so this skeleton has got his most.

[Dan Casey]

Open my heart a page. Like a little cabinet. And keep it in there.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

And also, you look curio.

[Dan Casey]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

And your spell book, I mean, since you are a minion, it doesn't have to look all ornate or whatever like your spell book was. It probably looks like, you know, cobbled together. Newspaper, parchment.

[Dan Casey]

Yes, just some spare hide.

[Amy Vorpal]

Very flammable. Okay, great. So maybe. All right, so we're not going to decide that yet, but you're going to be some sort of the spell casters. Great. Okay, so knowing all that, let's get started. We're going to play lasers and feelings. There is a little bit of character creation, but that won't take long. And we're playing hench. Henchmen and henchmen and shenanigans. You choose a style for your character. You will write this down. But again, I think your character sheet is going to be 3. 3. Two words in a number. So you're going to be either beautiful, cunning, dangerous, famous, mad, or strange. And then I'll also allow anything else that you. That kind of fits in that. So this is going to be your style.

[Dan Casey]

Easy.

[Danielle Ran]

Got it.

[Amy Vorpal]

What is it?

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, I. I say what it is.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think my style is definitely strange. Definitely.

[Amy Vorpal]

Hell yeah.

[Danielle Ran]

I don't know what metal weaver is, but that sounds dope.

[Amy Vorpal]

You're a metal weaver.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, that makes sense. An artificer. Metal weaver. And then choose number two to five. Clever. Okay, that's.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. High number means high intellect. A low number means you're. You're strong.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, hot. Yeah, he's. He's smart. High intellect. So like a four.

[Amy Vorpal]

Four. Okay.

[Dan Casey]

All right. I'm probably gonna go with. I'm really torn with this again, this is session zero.

[Amy Vorpal]

So even if, like, where you are now, like, we'll. We'll map out, you know, your wizard later on.

[Dan Casey]

I'll probably. Right now I'll go with, like, mad. And I will go with probably Berserker to start. I mean, we'll get to Sorceress eventually, but just thinking if, like, if they've just been brought back to life and drafted into the Skeleton war.

[Amy Vorpal]

Perfect. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. Great. This way you can be a fighter and ramp up.

[Dan Casey]

Yes, exactly. This is my ramp.

[Amy Vorpal]

This is a journey. I love it. Danielle.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh.

[Jason Nguyen]

So I think. I guess I'll go. I guess I'll go. Beautiful. Since I'm going kind of bardy. So I'll do Beautiful for my style and then for my role. Oh, that one's rough. Let me think of Trader. That works.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, I like Trader. A trader is going to mean that you. You have some stuff, and it's not going to be good stuff. It's not going to be great stuff, but you're going to have. Have, you know, pretty rocks or.

[Jason Nguyen]

And a lot of that's going to be, like, negotiating and trying to, like, use, like, brain, like.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yep, yep. Okay. So, Dan, what are you thinking for your number?

[Dan Casey]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with. I was gonna go three. Smack dab in the middle.

[Amy Vorpal]

Mid. Yeah, very mid.

[Dan Casey]

Super mid.

[Amy Vorpal]

Danielle, do you have a number in mind?

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, high number, mean, grimp is strong, brave. Definitely. Like, I. I think maybe like a four.

[Amy Vorpal]

So Jason's also a four, and we've got a three. You know what?

[Dan Casey]

I'll go. I'll go two. Amy, I'll go two.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Danielle Ran]

I'm gonna drop down to three because I like mechanical. I like whatever that means.

[Dan Casey]

Higher number, higher number smarter. Lower number stronger.

[Danielle Ran]

I think he is smarter. I think he is.

[Amy Vorpal]

I think so, too. Great. So we've got four, two and four. Awesome. And now you're going to come up with a cool character name.

[Danielle Ran]

I like my character name, but you tell me if it's too. Too spicy for the world.

[Amy Vorpal]

Is it Boner?

[Danielle Ran]

It's Boner. It's. It's heart Boner. That's his name. The bone people around him. No, it's. I want him to be Tippy. There's something.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah, Tippy. Let's go.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy is his name.

[Jason Nguyen]

We should be able to clear this with legal just because I think it's funny if her name is busy.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, Tippy and busy. I love that.

[Amy Vorpal]

Busy is. Are you spelling it B U Z.

[Jason Nguyen]

B U, S, Y. I'm spelling it whichever way. The rapper Busybone does not spell Busybone. Okay.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Jason Nguyen]

So that we can clear it with legal. And I'm gonna mistake everybody. Sorry.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh my God. Amazing.

[Dan Casey]

Well, I was gonna go with Tibbs, but that's too close to Tippy. So I will then go with fibs. Short for fibia or fibido. He's not quite sure.

[Amy Vorpal]

Ooh, like the fibia. Okay, great. Awesome.

[Danielle Ran]

They all sound like fibs. Tippy and. And busy.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, that's where the. What is it? The shoot. Oh. What are they called? Black Eyed Peas.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yes.

[Amy Vorpal]

This. Black Eyed Peas. You don't have to decide too much about this. We're going to be just playing what this is. But you do have a cool looking henchman outfit. Oh. Which brings me to my question. Pronouns, pronouns for your characters.

[Jason Nguyen]

She, Her. Yeah, I think she, her, her.

[Danielle Ran]

He, him.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Dan Casey]

Also he, him.

[Amy Vorpal]

So you have cool looking henchman outfit. This you may or may not skeletons. That's up to you. With hidden pouches for chaos inducing elements. I. I will accept a rib cage. 2 to 3 weapons. Melee ranged can be stuff you found around the dungeon or plucked from good guy adventurers and technical or magical gizmos appropriate to your role. Again, this will be as we play. You'll just be like, I think I have this. And maybe you do. Maybe you don't ever have. There's some examples ever full monster feedbag. The bottled elemental farts and dungeon mushrooms. So drugs or drug adjacent things are possible here. I'll take the parts. Okay. So then there's a player goal. Oh, this is what you're. You're all trying to impress your evil overlord employer. This is Eunsook perform. Actually, it'll be someone else, but. But in the name of Eunzu, you're going to be performing menial but necessary and very important to you tasks while also getting away with as many valuables as possible. And it sounds like your character goal can be ascendancy into Eunzu's hierarchy. Wealth, conspire to disrupt from within, plunder new worlds, become a legend. I would even say ascendancy in Eunzu. You could even do mutiny in Eunzu's realm and then revenge. Free your loved ones. I won't. I don't want you to do that one. Uncover secrets and lore. I guess if you want to free your loved ones, that's fine. I. I just.

[Dan Casey]

Nah, Let them. Let them rot.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, that seems really nice.

[Dan Casey]

They know what they do.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, cool. So maybe don't tell me what that is. Maybe just think of what that is for yourself. Those are examples. You can pick whatever you want. Then we're going to play. Okay, so here are the rules. When you do something risky, and at this level, a lot is going to be risky, you're going to roll 1D6 to find out how to find out how it goes. You get to add a die if you are prepared and you can convince me that you're prepared to do this thing. And then you can roll another one. So a maximum of 3d6 if you're an expert. And then the number that you're trying to hit or beat or go under is the number on your, on your character sheet, which is a four or two or four for. So if you're being a myth elect, you want to roll under your number. If you're being a grim fist, you want to roll over your number. And it is that binary. And we'll, we'll decide together what that is. But if none of your dice succeed, you fail. It goes wrong. Things get worse. If one die succeeds, you barely do it, but you technically do do the thing that you're trying to do. And, and something negative happens on top of that. And if two dice succeed, you do it. You do it well, things are great. And then if three dice succeed, you get a critical success and you get like a bonus or a boon if you roll your exact number exactly. The gods grant you wisdom and you can kind of like ask me something or your character gets to know something that, that they wouldn't know otherwise. They wouldn't just determine it. So this is, this is kind of your chance to get a little meta if you want. And then if someone's helping you, they also give them a. Another die. But we are maxing out at three. So you're either an expert or you're being helped if you have three dice. Okay, that's it. All right. Ready to play?

[Danielle Ran]

Let's do it.

[Dan Casey]

The.

[Danielle Ran]

For the outfit stuff, the, the cool looking henchman outfit. Are we deciding what that is right now? Are we telling you that or is it just.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead, tell me what it is. Sure. Yeah.

[Danielle Ran]

I think they've turned Tippy into like a pack mule and they've loaded him up with like all like everything. Camping supply, you know, like to like tools.

[Amy Vorpal]

Well, who's they? Who's they? Because this is the first day of the job, so. Is. Have they.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, like what? What, like what? His role, I guess. If they're like marching and they're an army. He's like, carrying the rations other people that he doesn't use. You know what I mean?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. Great, great, great. Okay, cool.

[Danielle Ran]

He's just saddled with bags and so many.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, awesome.

[Danielle Ran]

Not strong enough to carry this, but he's. He's faking it.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. And it's. Yeah. Pretty top heavy too, so that.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, for sure.

[Dan Casey]

Just death stranding.

[Danielle Ran]

Yes. Yes, he's death stranding.

[Amy Vorpal]

Amazing. Okay, Cool outfit. Cool outfit, bro. Loincloth. Are we doing loincloth kind of thing? Make it otherwise.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, like, fanny pack. Fanny pack situation. Goblin fanny pack.

[Amy Vorpal]

Covering. Is it covering anything or like, like, barely. Okay. Okay, Great. Skeletons. Are you. Do you have anything cool going on?

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, I mean, I would love to have some skeleton drip, but I think I'm mostly, like, as naked as the day I was dyed. Like, Okay. I think I'm mostly like a hat.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

Like, maybe like something because I don't want to do. Because if you do something, because sometimes you'll see, like, the skeletons and they'll have, like a T or something that, like, denotes that they are, like a higher up skeleton. So I don't want that.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Jason Nguyen]

Because I want to make sure that it's definitely still in the world of, like, I am. I'm just a little henchman guy. I do. What is something.

[Amy Vorpal]

I mean, you could think like, oh.

[Jason Nguyen]

Like a chain mail thing. Maybe like, maybe some kind of like a chain mail, like, bodice. Yeah, like a chainmail bodice.

[Amy Vorpal]

Ooh. Okay. We love. So great. Yeah. You're armored up so that could get.

[Jason Nguyen]

Caught on my bones. And that's really funny.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah, that's true, actually. Yeah. Your clothes are against you. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Dan.

[Dan Casey]

Anything cool Depends on your definition of cool. He thinks it's awesome. He is wearing this just like really tattered, like, kind of battle tabard that was handed to him like a. A penny in gym class. He has a rusty iron sword, a very beat up buckler that has a couple arrows sticking on it. And he's just really amused by, like, oh, wow. I could probably hang some decorations on here. I hope I find one. But he also does. He found on the floor this sort of like kind of like journal. And he was just fascinated by how it looked. Just. It's empty. Completely empty. But he picked it up and just was holding that with him just in case because he was like, maybe I'll need this. I don't know. I don't know.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. So a dusty journal. Awesome. So this is. Since we've Got our characters, and you've got two skeletons and a goblin. I'm gonna say what happened just before this. So first of all, we're going to open on. I'm gonna part the veil of reality. And you're no longer sitting at a screen in front of two dimensional people. You are. Are actually squashed and smooshed in a cart with bars alongside it. And you're just kind of packed in there like sardines with other stinky and drooling and farting minions, Goblins and gnolls. Some ghosts somehow made their way in there and are staying there as ethereal as they are. You've got some kobolds and other imps kind of in there too. No one's really attacking each other, but as far as you guys know, you were on. You were ready to die like this. You were in a. You were in a battle. You were on a battlefield and it was a. It was skeletons versus Goblins. And you were just fighting, you know, doing what, what you do best. And you. It's kind of cool that you're still alive, Dan. I guess Fibs did die busy. You did die as well, Tippy. You. You did not die, but you thought you might have. And you kind of. After the aftermath, you did just kind of hang out. You're. You are burdened with a lot of. A lot of bags. This was your role in the. In the Goblin versus Skeleton battle that happened a few days ago. And what had really happened was Eunug's minions came and cleaned up the battlefield and just like kind of harvested the trash from the battlefield and which. That's what you are, and carted you away along with these other. These other people, these other minions that they found. And you're being carted into Eunzuk's lair. And that's where we open on. You're all just packed into a cart. It's uncomfortable, but it's not. It's not unfamiliar. You. You've been this before. You've been in this situation before. Is there anything that you want to do? Technically? Technically, the two skeletons and the goblins are like on paper, your enemies. But technically everyone in the. In the cart might be an enemy.

[Danielle Ran]

So Tippy's gonna play dead. Tippy's gonna just look around, realize that he's with the enemies that he was probably hiding from in the field and is horrified and is just gonna be like, right, just pass out and pretend.

[Amy Vorpal]

I think that's risky. So I'm gonna make you roll to see how good you are.

[Danielle Ran]

It's good. Sounds good. So walk me through this rolling system again. So I'm.

[Amy Vorpal]

You roll. Roll a D6. If you're prepared, you can roll 2. If you're an expert, you can roll 3.

[Dan Casey]

Expert in playing dead.

[Danielle Ran]

I want to make a case that hippie is an expert at playing dead. This is what he does.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. He embraces his weaknesses. Great. So, fine, I'll allow that. So roll 3D. Nice.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay, I'm rolling 3D 6 and I got a 5 of 4 and a 3. So that's 12.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. So we're not adding them together. What you want? Because I'm going to say that this is. I'm going to say you're using your. Your body here. So this is Grim Fist, because your body could betray you when you're playing dead in many different ways. So this is Grim Fist. So you want to roll over your number. Your number is a four. So a five and a six would be a success. What'd you get?

[Danielle Ran]

I got a five, a four, and a three. So five maybe.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, yeah, five is a success. You just barely do it. And then the. So what actually happens is as you're playing dead, you're. I mean, you're just passed out. You're kind of relaxing on your. On your bags. But you. You do. You do let out a big goblin fart. It's just unclear who it came from.

[Danielle Ran]

Absolutely. That's a fear fart.

[Dan Casey]

I think that guy just voided his bowels.

[Amy Vorpal]

And the other thing that happens is you did get. You did get a four. So you can. You could ask me a question and I can answer you honestly.

[Danielle Ran]

So, okay, I can ask you a question. And is it from this list of questions or is it any question?

[Amy Vorpal]

It's kind of any question. This is a chance for you as a player to, like, get a little bit meta or, like, have your character be a little more plugged in.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay, so I. I'm looking around. Is there. Can I see, like, if there's somebody in charge, like, who's leading, who's driving the. The.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Danielle Ran]

Where. Whatever we're on. And. And like, who's. Who's the boss here?

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, great. Yes. So you've got. You've got this. It looks like a. Like a stone. A Stone elemental, a Stone Giant kind of guy. He's a big bulking guy. But as far as Stone giants, you've seen them before. And this one's arguably kind of small. He's like, about only like, five feet tall. So kind of a kid, maybe a Teenager. And he doesn't look like he's the boss, but he is the one carting you like. It's just him. And then, you know, like, about 30 minions like yourself in this cart. So he's. He's a hefty boy moving you along. As you look around, what you see is a kind of a desolate wasteland. Black stone, remnants of lava, smoke coming up, cracks in the earth. Earth. That's the landscape. Big, big, tall mountains in the distance, all black. And where it looks like you're going is down a valley. So. So the walls are kind of growing up beside you, and you're going into a darker and darker and darker place. It. It does seem like you're heading underground.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay, great.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, Dan and Danielle, busy, is checking.

[Jason Nguyen]

Her bones just to make sure they're all, like. She's got all of them, so she's kind of doing bone inventory.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, great. And. And yeah, you're not alone. I mean, you. You've got a couple of other. A couple of other skeletons around with you there. They're also looking. They're also doing inventory on their bones as well. One of them says, hey, do you want. You want some help? You could check my bones and I could check your bones.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, no, we should totally. I will. I will start checking your bones. Hey, you know, it's. You had some really good hustle out there. Just really good hustle. You know, like, I was kind of.

[Amy Vorpal]

I died immediately.

[Jason Nguyen]

Well, yeah, but that's. I mean, you got back up really fast, so that's great.

[Amy Vorpal]

Look, I just don't want to talk about it. I. We might have a performance review wherever we're going, and could you just not bring up that I kind of. I'm going to lie. I'm going to say some cool stuff happened.

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, what are you going to. What are you going to say happened?

[Amy Vorpal]

Well, okay, so I was thinking that I'm, you know, I was in the front lines, right? And. But because I'm a skeleton, like, the arrows went all the way through me.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

And they didn't actually get to me. And then I was a. Look, this isn't believable. Maybe you can back me up that I tackled. I tackled the big goblin boss.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah. Hey, maybe do you have an arrow? We can, like, just, like, put an arrow on your head or something. So we could, like, pretend like, oh, there's the arrow.

[Amy Vorpal]

I don't have an arrow. But that guy has an arrow in his bandolier or whatever. Yeah, the buckler. Well, whatever. Like, I Know the names of garments. Okay.

[Dan Casey]

This isn't going to look good on your performance review.

[Amy Vorpal]

Well, but it could, because, like, we're going to. I'm going to lie. I already told you, I'm going to lie. This could look great. So could I have your arrow?

[Dan Casey]

You want in my buckler?

[Amy Vorpal]

No. Yeah, I want to have your arrow.

[Dan Casey]

For what purpose?

[Amy Vorpal]

To put it.

[Dan Casey]

I was not eavesdropping on your conversation.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, that's okay. Yeah. So I'm gonna lie, and I'm gonna take. I'm gonna use your arrow and stick it through my ribs to show that nothing can get me.

[Dan Casey]

That sounds.

[Jason Nguyen]

This is very clever.

[Dan Casey]

Like a foolproof plan. And I cannot think of a more deserving candidate to have this arrow. You may take it if you can pluck it from my buckler. Not my bandolier.

[Amy Vorpal]

All right, well. Yep, I can pluck it. So. Great. I've got. I've got a. Yeah. So, anyway, thanks, guys. I'm Frax. I don't know if we ever got to actually meet each other before we ran into the fray.

[Jason Nguyen]

Hi, Frax. I'm busy. You know, I work. I work in the skeleton unit.

[Danielle Ran]

Holy.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, my God. Holy Sundari. That smells like. Like the deepest butthole of the largest elemental giant I've ever seen in my life. What is. Be honest. Was it you?

[Jason Nguyen]

I don't. I don't think I can. I don't think fart. I think air just goes through me all the time. I think air is just constantly going.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, that's a myth. Skeletons can fart. That's a myth. I've raised.

[Dan Casey]

I've raised that it would just legally be considered that because the gaseous matter is passing through you without your sphincter or what remains? Incident.

[Amy Vorpal]

Wait, what?

[Dan Casey]

Sorry, it's like. Like Busy was saying the gas passes through the bones constantly. So it looks like it's us, but it was not us.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, wait.

[Jason Nguyen]

So I think someone's setting us up.

[Danielle Ran]

Trying not to fart again.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah, Tibby, you're trying not to fart again.

[Danielle Ran]

Would you really try not to?

[Amy Vorpal]

I think. I think you're gonna need to roll for that.

[Dan Casey]

An expert.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, you're not an expert in not farting.

[Danielle Ran]

All right, one. One. Decent. And I got a one, so you got a one.

[Amy Vorpal]

Wait, you might actually do it because that's. No, you. Do you want to roll over your number? This is Grim Fist, and you're grim fisting your sphincter. It's just not working, so. Yeah, so it did not. It Goes wrong. Okay, so actually, all this talk of farting makes you. Makes your body just, like, react and it is trumpeting for a while. And. And since all these skeletons are, like, obsessed with it now, they're digging through and finding it, and they. They. They find you. They find you as the source of this horrible smell.

[Dan Casey]

Bibbs walks over and there's no walking.

[Amy Vorpal]

So. So you are like you're sardine, but you can dig. Like you're digging through. Yeah, you're digging through a pile of bodies. So you do find them, though.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy opens one eye, sees this skeleton crawling towards him, is now sweating profusely, knowing that the jigs up probably soon and just doubles down on. Still trying to pretend to be dead. Like, rolls over, like, even, like, pretends to, like, die again.

[Amy Vorpal]

Like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Dan Casey]

Oh, this is tragic.

[Jason Nguyen]

Busy starts, like, going through. Oh, I think it was. I think that that's that thing where you die and you fart as you're dying. That's a death fart.

[Dan Casey]

Oh, that's the soul escaping the body. I'm pretty sure, yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, okay, so the goblin's dead.

[Dan Casey]

I think so.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, great.

[Jason Nguyen]

Tippy or busy. Like, just pokes.

[Amy Vorpal]

Pokes.

[Dan Casey]

Tippy fibs, opens one of the eyes.

[Jason Nguyen]

You see anything in there?

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy's. Can Tippy roll to try to not. Not react?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy's not an. I don't know if Tippy's an expert at this. I don't think Tippy's ever been.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, I don't think so. And you're not prepared either. So one.

[Danielle Ran]

I rolled a six.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, okay. Yeah, you're able to play dead with the best of them, and. And you're being poked and prodded, and you still look dead. So as far as. As far as everyone's concerned, you're dead.

[Dan Casey]

I've never. As a. As an animated skeleton. I've never seen someone who is more dead than this person right here.

[Amy Vorpal]

I also believe him.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, kind of a. Kind of an expert. Kind of an expert in death. Oh, it's. Normally, I'm used to seeing them die on the battlefield, not just, like, right here on the way home. Should we say something like, nice about, you know, like, hey, here lies this goblin? I hope.

[Amy Vorpal]

Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you? Are you kidding? If Eunzoo and his minions saw us burying the dead, do you know how fast we'd be kicked out and we wouldn't have jobs anymore? Are you kidding?

[Dan Casey]

Okay, so Barry, who's talking? It was just Saying twice.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah. Well, same thing. Like being nice. Ugh. We just. We would never. We would never work again in this entire world.

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, you're right. You know. Okay, then we'll just say mean things.

[Amy Vorpal]

You.

[Jason Nguyen]

I bet you stunk just as much in life as you did in death.

[Amy Vorpal]

That was good. That was good. Yeah. Okay, so you're. Yeah. So you're. You're rolling in and you get into. Everyone gets into this cavern, this like deep, dark, dripping cavern. And the. The air gets musty, it's harder to breathe, and it's. It's very sulfuric. It's. It's worse than the fart. So don't even worry about it anymore. Tiffy. But what you see is like this vast. This vast room. And it's definitely a torture chamber. So there's. There's. And it's deep under the mountain. There's like a pool. There's a pool of lava over in the corner. People seem to be. Or, yeah, goblins seem to be forging stuff there. There's a. Humanoids racked up along the wall with. In shackles. There's blood and weird bodily fluids kind of everywhere. And. And you're carted in and dumped. So. So the. The elemental who's been carrying you just dumps, lifts up the cart and you're all dumped out into a pile while about 30 of you. And right in front of this like teeny tiny mimic chest, like. Like a little. A little chest. And the. The elemental just kind of like shakes the cart. He's a big guy. And you all just tumble out. And then he leaves and goes back out. And as he leaves the rock closure kind of closes and. And you're locked in there as the mimic, you know, kind of pops and scans and says telepathically communicates to. To. I mean, to each of you. You don't know if it's to the whole group, but this young. This kind of young kid's voice, like, okay, you, you and you. And not really mentioning it doesn't feel like he's talking to either any of you guys. There's. There's three kobolds that dig themselves out of the pile and they go off. The telepathy stops in your brain and you see the kobolds go and. And they nod and they run off. And as they leave, there's this opening into what seems like a big tunnel system. And they jump up and. And tap this. It's carved in blue and it says terror. And they tap it and they run. They run away. As you. As you hear them running away, nothing's really happening. Maybe you're getting yourselves together. You hear a big booming voice that says, florida, I smite. And you hear what has to be the kobolds screaming. And then within 30 seconds, you hear a voice say, well, oh, good job everybody. And it does seem to be coming from the depths of the. Of the cavern of the tunnel system. But you're putting together that there are some adventurers in this. This tunnel system. You can tell the mimics waiting to hear people die. And he's just sitting there. And as soon as they do die, he kind of looks back to the group.

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, that didn't seem to go very well for them. Busy is saying that that didn't seem to go very well. Busy likes. Hmm, that's really hard. Because Busy wants to get the adventurers, but also wants to live. But that's the job. So Busy's like I want to. The way to impress Unzo is for me to volunteer. So Busy is going to volunteer.

[Dan Casey]

Excuse me, child box voice. I don't know if I'm supposed to speak out loud or if this is in my head. Do we need to go in there? Should we be fighting you?

[Amy Vorpal]

Answer to me. And yes, eventually all of you will go forth and be fodder for these adventurers. We are here at Unzugs lair are very committed to providing a. A experience for the good people, the good aligned who come in here. And we're committed to giving them a quite evil experience.

[Dan Casey]

They.

[Amy Vorpal]

They're just at the beginning of the. Of our layer here. So thank you all for joining us. Yes, you. You are important to the entire plan. And as he's talking, you can see that there's this parchment that is like has like a list written on it flapping from the chest opening. So actually he is communicating. So that was it telepathically. But when you spoke to him, he actually started flapping his. Okay, his chest. And he. He's speaking out loud now and coming kind of just hanging out is this list that he's got. I'll be assigning you group by group to go and do your worst to those. To whoever, whoever's in our dungeon.

[Dan Casey]

I have a clarifying question. You said do your worst, but you're also trying to provide an experience to the good Aligned people here. Do you mean that we should not actually do our best and not try to stop them, in fact do our worst possible job and just let them trounce us? Like sort of.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm. I'm Laughing because you, you think that you doing your best has any ch of surviving. No. You were dug up as trash from a battlefield to die. Again, you're a box with a tongue.

[Dan Casey]

I think that we both have unique properties that make us invaluable individuals.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, we're just gonna have to fundamentally disagree.

[Dan Casey]

Oh man, I'm not off to a good start.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy hears the box say that and Tippy now wide eyed, terrified. Is there like, is it? Well, like, could you describe the room to us? Like, are we on like a pile of other like trash, like enemies, goblins and bones? Or like what, like what is the room that we're in?

[Amy Vorpal]

The room. Okay, so the room is vast. So I would say it's like a circumference, sorry, a diameter of maybe 100ft. And you kind of, it's like a circular, maybe ovular. And you have come in from one side of it. Been done on, not right in the middle, but towards the middle. And then around you are humanoids shackled on the walls. Torture chambers, torture racks. You've got like a little tiny, a little bitty forge over towards one side and then kind of straight through where you got dumped is the, the entrance to the rest of the tunnel system.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy wants to. Because he's now so scared out of his mind. In the room with two skeletons, there's a talking box. And it's saying that he's destined to die for this cause. And Tippy wants to run to the back. Will stealthily move to the back and pretend that he's hanging from the torture chains or whatever. But like not actually, you know, he's just like leaning up against what's already there and that he's just, you know, the background.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, yeah. So awesome. So as, as you go and do that, you see that like these people aren't just hanging there, they're also being poked and prodded by other goblins. Like there are people fucking with them.

[Danielle Ran]

Also goblins doing it. It's goblins doing the poking.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, yeah. And the other ones, I mean they're humanoids. They're more like adventures. Like they're halflings and elves and humans and half.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, got it. Tippy is then. So I changed what I want to do. So knowing that it's other goblins. Sorry people. Tippy's gonna go in and also poke the people. Like he's supposed to be there.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, okay, great. So this is, I would say this is using your, your mind. So let's, let's do that. Let's Roll for myth.

[Danielle Ran]

Myth. Okay. And. And Tippy I don't think is prepared because.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, you're. You're about fitting in. Yeah.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy rolls.

[Amy Vorpal]

A4. A4. Okay, so you. You get some wisdom, but you do not succeed. Okay, so what do you do? Tell me what you do.

[Danielle Ran]

So in Tippy's mind, Tippy is stealthily, like, hugging the wall, like a spy. And then.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, but you also have like a massive amount of baggage.

[Danielle Ran]

Yes, Yes. I mean, this is just in his mind.

[Amy Vorpal]

He's.

[Danielle Ran]

He's spy mode. Mission impossible. And he's now in his mind, stealthily and smoothly moving to one of the bodies, the people being tortured. And he's poking it with something that wouldn't even hurt. I think he has a boomerang. He's tapping the guy with his boomerang.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Yeah.

[Danielle Ran]

Looking around frantically.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. And this isn't a quiet dungeon. You can hear the people screaming, but also there's screaming and torture being done in here too. Part of the reason that the chest is communicating telepathically is because it is so loud. But yet. So. So you're near. You're near. The first thing that you. You come upon is a dwarf. A dwarf being shackled and poked at by two goblins. And you just kind of sidle up and I mean, you start. I mean, you're bad at it. Like, you're. You're half assed. You're phoning it in. Your boomerang's just kind of getting them right where it doesn't even hurt him. You know, it's like on. On some squishy parts, but that's about it. And you're like. I mean, do you say anything?

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah. To be. Does the door. Is the dwarf looking at him?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, the dwarf's like crying and being like, I have a family. Someone help me.

[Dan Casey]

Help me.

[Amy Vorpal]

Radar? Radar, are you here?

[Danielle Ran]

Stop. Just. Just look. You just. I'm not really gonna hurt you. Just pretend. If you pretend and I pretend, we're all. We're all gonna get out of this just fine. So just. And then like, I'm poking him or.

[Jason Nguyen]

Just.

[Danielle Ran]

Just go with it, dude.

[Amy Vorpal]

Come on. Okay, so. So. So the two. There were two goblins nearby, poking a. Poking a. They're just poking. They're not. They're poking him with these like, blunt spears. They're not making anyone bleed, but it's just like sharp, sharp punches. I guess some of the rods do have some electrical energy in them, but these don't. They're just being poked. So these Two goblins are kind of making their way down and they. They see you, I don't know, have a conversation, and they're like, hi. Hi. Why do you get it? Get out of here. Hey.

[Danielle Ran]

Hey, man, I'm just doing my job like you.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, you're not. There's a protocol.

[Danielle Ran]

It's my first day.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, it's not. You're not even part of the crew. You don't even have the evil armband yet.

[Danielle Ran]

We'll take.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, my gosh. Mandy, shut up. And the chest who's been talking to the skeletons is like. Okay, guys, hold on one second. I gotta go. Hold on. Actually, you. You and you get after it and doesn't actually pick you yet. Skeletons. They pick this group of two wyrmlings, two gnolls and a different skeleton. Oh, Frax your friend. Frax. They're. They're gone. So they tap the. They tap the blue painted terror on the top and they're out of there. You do. Sorry, I do. You do see. You do see that your farting goblin friend from the cart is alive and, you know, causing some as the. As the miracle. As the mimic makes his way over there. So you. You can. Yeah, do whatever you want. But the mimic makes his way over there. This is Mimzy, who the other goblin was calling after. And Mimzy comes and goes. You're supposed to be in the pile. You're supposed to be in the pile.

[Danielle Ran]

Who, like the dwarf? Yeah, you're supposed to be in the pile.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, no, give me that. And he, like, grabs your boomerang and tosses it somewhere else. It tosses it away. Does it come back? But it hits you. It hits you. It hits you. Bonk in the head and you get a big bruise.

[Danielle Ran]

I fart as I get bonkers.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so. So he says, you're out. You're out of order already. Are you okay? Okay, that's it. Shackle him up.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy. Still. Still not. Still desperately trying to somehow lie. His way of the situation is also yelling, shackle him up. But like, okay, are you.

[Amy Vorpal]

Is. Is that meant to do something?

[Danielle Ran]

I don't.

[Amy Vorpal]

You tell me. Okay. No, because I was like, yeah, I mean, I can make you roll for it, but. Yeah, I don't. I don't think that I. I think that they. Yeah, so they're yelling, shackle him up. Shackle him up. And they grab you and. And you're yelling, shackle him up. Shackle him up. And you're just like, kind of accepting your lot. They're they are. They, they clamp one. One shackle on your wrist. Dan and Danielle, are you doing anything? Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

And I think I, I think a voice just clicked. So I might try a voice here. We'll see what happens. So Busy sees, Sees all this happening and in. Busy's not the smartest, but he just goes, you have to stop. He wanted so badly to help that he came back alive from the dead. He came back alive from the dead just to torture. You can't shackle him up.

[Amy Vorpal]

He can't.

[Jason Nguyen]

He was dead and fought and.

[Amy Vorpal]

Right.

[Jason Nguyen]

He was dead and fought and we all saw it.

[Dan Casey]

It's a necromantic miracle.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, okay, great. Roll a myth elect. And it seems like, it seems like fibs is helping you too. So, yeah, this is a full on deception.

[Jason Nguyen]

And I rolled a one, which for.

[Dan Casey]

Plus one dice for me helping.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, you get another die.

[Jason Nguyen]

And that's a three on the second die.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so myth elect, you want to roll under your number.

[Jason Nguyen]

Under. Yeah. So you got two. One. Yeah. Oh, I rolled a one and then a three.

[Amy Vorpal]

That's perfect. Yeah. Both of the dice are under. And so that means you succeed twice. You have two dice that succeed. And so, yeah, Mimsy, he goes, what? You came back to life to fight with Eun Sug and terrorize the world under Eunsook's name?

[Danielle Ran]

That's right. Yeah. Huh.

[Amy Vorpal]

Well, wow, that's amazing. What's your favorite quality of Eunsook.

[Danielle Ran]

And Tippy looks around, looks at the wall, looks at the blue sign and goes, goes Terror.

[Amy Vorpal]

Wow.

[Dan Casey]

That's.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, that's our motto. That's our way of being. That's our authentic code here. Get him out of there. Get him out of there. You, my friend, are about to attack some adventurers and really let loose. We're going to take your entire belongings, though. Get him out of that. So they shake you out of your backpack.

[Danielle Ran]

Got it? Got it. Oh, okay. But my, my attack, you know, in my, in the army I was from, all I did was like repair shields and like had had people spears and, and collect daggers and stuff.

[Amy Vorpal]

And that's not very terrorizing, is it?

[Danielle Ran]

I, I do it scary, though. I do it scary.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, well, yeah, I, I, I hesitate.

[Danielle Ran]

To believe by like attack. That's like, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get out there, I'm gonna, you know, and whoever is got good aim a spear and, you know, do my part in the terror.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, you are. Yes, you are, because I said so. And I'm the Boss down here. So you. You and you and. And now it's you. It's. Yeah, it's Tippy, Fibs and Busy. Who he's chosen and says, go attack those adventurers.

[Dan Casey]

Okay. We're. All right. We got this. Attacking is the name, and adventurers are the game.

[Amy Vorpal]

That's right. Yeah. You're the. This group of people has talked more than any of the other ones. They all just seem to know. It's like, this is. Have you never been in a dungeon before? Have you never had this job before?

[Dan Casey]

I honestly could not tell you. I do not remember. I just awoke one day and I was a skeleton. And so it just seemed right that I should be attacking people. People. But I don't recall having been here before, if I have been. It's good to see you, Mimsy. I believe you said your name was.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, Mimsy.

[Dan Casey]

All right. Well, Mimsy, the pleasure is and remains mine. Pleasure.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. He sticks out his tongue to shake your hand.

[Dan Casey]

I shake his tongue.

[Danielle Ran]

I'm not touching that.

[Dan Casey]

Fibs takes off his arm and extends it.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, the tongue.

[Dan Casey]

Tongue. And he walks out and reaches it to hit the terror above the door as he.

[Amy Vorpal]

Awesome.

[Dan Casey]

To go fight the adventurers.

[Danielle Ran]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Dan Casey]

Yes.

[Danielle Ran]

I try to stop fibs and like. Listen, I. I don't know why you skellies are being nice to a goblin like me. Because out there, you guys are doing all sorts of crazy stuff, ripping our guts out while sinking arrows into us like pincushions.

[Dan Casey]

I had one of your arrows in my buckler, but I gave it away to a random person I just met.

[Danielle Ran]

I'm just saying, let's go out there. Let's attack the adventurers. Let's get out of here.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Dan Casey]

Let's do it.

[Jason Nguyen]

Great. Let's go out there and let's attack the adventurers.

[Dan Casey]

Let's do our worst. Or our best. I'm still unclear.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay, you know what? You guys attack the adventures. I'll help you from the back.

[Dan Casey]

That sounds perfect. I'm more of a frontline guy anyway.

[Danielle Ran]

I.

[Jason Nguyen]

You keep doing this little thing with your hands.

[Danielle Ran]

What? What? What things?

[Jason Nguyen]

Keep doing this little thing. What's the thing with your fingers?

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, it's like, what? Okay, you know what? You guys attack. I'll help. If you need a spear, I'll hand you. Well, they took my spears. You know, I'll just support from the back.

[Amy Vorpal]

See that thing? You keep back.

[Jason Nguyen]

We're gonna go and attack. Yeah, you'll be in the back.

[Dan Casey]

It's a goblin thing.

[Danielle Ran]

It's a different culture.

[Jason Nguyen]

We wouldn't understand.

[Amy Vorpal]

As you were doing that. You did hear. You did hear. Ahaha. Now you see me, now you don't. And then the skeleton, the skeletons who. Who ran past before and. And the other, they. You all hear them all scream. You hear a crunch of bone, a crunch of bones as. As everything as they all fall down. It is. It is in the depths, but you can kind of hear where it's coming from. But the other crew has. You're pretty sure, has perished as well.

[Dan Casey]

Oh, well, that doesn't bode well.

[Amy Vorpal]

Anyway, and we're running and we're going and we're attacking. Or else I will get Eunzuk to smite you down and we'll just throw you into the fire.

[Dan Casey]

That sounds unpleasant. I will.

[Jason Nguyen]

No, don't tell Eun Sook.

[Dan Casey]

I will run.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, Busy. Just goes headlong. Busy. Takes off one of her bones and is like raw, like charging with it like a weapon.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, perfect.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, yeah. Tippy is. Is trying to catch up. Being like, don't leave me behind. And like running as fast as you can.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, awesome. Let's see if you can find these people. So everyone roll. Everyone roll a myth elect. And you're trying to roll low.

[Danielle Ran]

Low.

[Jason Nguyen]

I rolled four.

[Danielle Ran]

Rolled a five.

[Dan Casey]

I rolled a three.

[Jason Nguyen]

But that is my number.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Dan. Dan. Yeah. Dan's the only one who succeeded. But Danielle, you are a force. So you get to ask a question.

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, just ask a question. And so. And we are looking for the heroes now.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, you're looking for the adventurers.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, the adventurers. Okay, so yeah, that would be. Which way? What's the. What's the best way to get to the adventurers? I think.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so that was the role that you were trying to see if you could find out. So that's what I'm trying.

[Jason Nguyen]

Trying to be sneaky.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. Yeah. But is there, Is there? I mean, you don't have to ask it now. Maybe you can ask it later. Save. But is there something about the world or what's going on with your characters that you want to know?

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

One of them is like, what should I be on the lookout for? How can I get them to do something?

[Jason Nguyen]

What kind of, what kind of what? Oh, who is making up the class of heroes? Like, what kind of. What's the team made up of?

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, you have heard. You have heard voices. You've heard four different voices, obviously. One. One. One was a paladin, one was a rogue, a druid. And a wizard. And they. There's four. There's four of them. You've got a gnome, an alpha human, and a halfling. Okay, you just knew that.

[Jason Nguyen]

Okay, great. Gnome, elf, human, halfling. Okay, perfect.

[Dan Casey]

That is an amazing level of auditory intuition. I am.

[Jason Nguyen]

I'm really good at hearing. Good.

[Amy Vorpal]

But, Dan, you're the only one who even kind of knows where to go. I guess the caveat is that along the way, you're just spent because you've been kind of corralling. Everyone's going to. Maybe they're going to the right, and you're like, no, no, come back to this way. Oh, no, they're going to the left. And so. But you're running because you're scared of what would happen if Mimsy caught up with you. And you're so. You're. You're just really, really exhausted, which means that I guess for this next part, not. Nothing about this is going to be. You're not going to be able to be prepared.

[Dan Casey]

All right, they're definitely this way. Just a couple more 100 yards and maybe a couple lefts and rights. But I'm. I'm positive it's this direction. Just keep going.

[Amy Vorpal]

You. You do hear them talk to each other and. And you hear them say, well, are we closer to Eunzoo and destroying that madman? Oh, I don't know. I mean, we did get a lot. I don't know about you, but we've just defeated many foes, and I'd like a rest. Ah, yes, I think that would do us nicely. I could actually meditate for a while. Well, then it would be my pleasure to take the first watch. And you hear them kind of abandoned where they are now. You are. You are getting close. So what do you do?

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, so busy. Wants to start tiptoeing and see if we can get him with the element of surprise when they're neckered out. Okay, so, yeah, busy just starts like, sneak, sneak, sneak.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, make a Grim Fist. Make a Grim Fist roll.

[Jason Nguyen]

Okay. Grim Fist five.

[Amy Vorpal]

A five. And I think you do want to roll high for this. So you do succeed. You are. You are successfully able people to sneak your bones closer.

[Dan Casey]

Sneak, sneak, sneak.

[Jason Nguyen]

Hey, maybe if we get them while they're surprised, then they won't even know that was coming.

[Amy Vorpal]

And, yeah, so you're. You're getting closer, and what you see is they're. They're kind of sloughing off, you know, like, this is. This is just a party kind of opening doors, listening, and trying to find a corner. So It's. It's pretty quiet out here.

[Dan Casey]

I've got an idea. I'm gonna throw my arm down the hallway to distract them.

[Danielle Ran]

No, no, don't do that.

[Dan Casey]

I'm gonna do it.

[Danielle Ran]

Don't do it.

[Jason Nguyen]

He's gonna do it, though.

[Dan Casey]

Why not?

[Danielle Ran]

They'll hear it. What are you talking about?

[Dan Casey]

Yes, and who would look at this direction? It's called. It's called a gambit. I read about it once in this old journal I found.

[Danielle Ran]

You know what? Yeah, you should do that.

[Amy Vorpal]

You know what?

[Dan Casey]

Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

[Amy Vorpal]

Do it.

[Dan Casey]

So I take out. I sheath my sword and buckler to rip off one of my arms and get ready to hurl it down the hallway, ideally to create a distraction.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, I think you're just able to do that. I don't see why. I don't think. I mean, it's risky, but I. Not in the way that you wouldn't be able to do it. So you are able to do it. It does. It does cause a distraction. These adventurers go. What was that, Danielle? You're close enough to see that they have stopped moving. And they're kind of looking around and they're checking their six. Now, you succeeded, so I think they're not able to see you, but. Yeah, I mean, they see the skeleton arm, and they at first back up, but the row goes. Huh, this is interesting. And picks it up and kind of examines it. Where did this come from?

[Dan Casey]

Can I control my limb?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Dan Casey]

I'm gonna try to poke out his eyes.

[Amy Vorpal]

Awesome. Okay, so you poke out. She's. She's holding. This halfling is holding your arm, and the arm just kind of goes. And. Okay, Grim fist. Let's see if that works. Works.

[Dan Casey]

That is a six.

[Amy Vorpal]

That works. That very, very much works. You barely manage it. And that's a great attack you've taken. Taken her unawares. And she's like, ah. And she throws it. She like, like, throws it against the wall. And one of the bones in the forearm breaks off. And. But. But she's like, run. Run. They're coming after us. But it's. It's not like any attack we've ever seen.

[Dan Casey]

Much stupider.

[Amy Vorpal]

And. And so the halfling's off. The paladin kind of stays where he isn't. Like a skeletal arm. I feel like I have seen this before. The rogue and the druid are. Are off running. And so is the wizard, actually, the gnome. But the human paladin is kind of examining. I actually, you know what. What do you do Tippy, this t.

[Danielle Ran]

First off, does fibs. Fibs. Do you still have a. An arrow in your buckler and. No, no, I gave.

[Amy Vorpal]

Didn't you have two?

[Dan Casey]

I had two, so there's one left. I gave one to Fargus. What was his name? Fr. Give me.

[Danielle Ran]

Give me the arrow. I need the arrow.

[Dan Casey]

All right, it is yours if you can pluck it from mine. Buckler. A test of might.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah. Tippy tries to pull the arrow out of the.

[Dan Casey]

Comes out very easily.

[Danielle Ran]

Pull the arrow out of the buckler. Tippy breaks off the tip of the spear, throws it aside, takes the arrow shaft, and just puts it in his chest and falls backwards.

[Amy Vorpal]

Wait, you feign death again?

[Danielle Ran]

1,000%.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, you're an expert. Let's do it.

[Dan Casey]

It's so sad to see he had so much to live for.

[Danielle Ran]

All right, I rolled a two and a three.

[Amy Vorpal]

A two and a three, and, Grimfist, you do want to roll over your number. All of your friends see this happening, and. And you're a bad. You're bad at acting. You literally are like, oh, no, and pass out and. And, yeah, they. They. You all know that he's not dead. Anyone who ran across you would know that. You're not actually dead either.

[Dan Casey]

I assume there's a second part to your plan.

[Amy Vorpal]

You're holding. You're. You're literally holding the arrow shaft, like, here on your chest. As you're on. As you're on your back.

[Danielle Ran]

I don't go fight him.

[Jason Nguyen]

Since everybody's being tricky today, and everybody's trying to deceive. Busy's like, I can deceive people too. So busy is like, look, you.

[Amy Vorpal]

Hello.

[Jason Nguyen]

Thank you for coming to our dungeon. We wanted to surprise you with this gift of a dead goblin.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, my God. Okay, so, yeah, you're. So the paladin is right there, and you're talking to the paladin.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, and just being like. Since Tippy is very obviously, like, not dead, just be like, look, we. We shot this goblin for you. It is our gift.

[Amy Vorpal]

So what are you trying to do? You're trying to, like, just.

[Danielle Ran]

Deception.

[Amy Vorpal]

Deception. You get it?

[Jason Nguyen]

Deception.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, we get. Get his feet out from under him. All right, so roll a myth.

[Jason Nguyen]

So do it. Two.

[Amy Vorpal]

A two. And you. Do you want to roll under your number? You did? Yeah. Great. So he's like, you brought. Brought a gift for us?

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah, we brought you this dead goblin.

[Amy Vorpal]

Instead of killing, instead of fighting against us. Are you. Do you work for Eunzoo? We.

[Jason Nguyen]

We work. We have seen the error of our ways. Busy's like, trying to, like, signal that, like, this would be the moment to, like, attack while I'm, like, distracting them.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, great. And so the paladin. I mean, believes you and is like, oh, I see. And you have decided to become good as a skeleton. Would you like to. I mean, we can. We can take you to. We can give you redemption. I can give you redemption for ano. Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

I want to be redeemed and whatever.

[Dan Casey]

Yes. And I would like to give you this gift of a rusty iron sword. Stab.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so you try to stab this paladin. Yeah. With one arm. So roll one. Die. And this is a grim fist. You want to roll high.

[Dan Casey]

That's a one.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. So, yeah, you. You just kind of lean it out and. And you're gonna try to stab him, but it doesn't work. He's got, you know, a bunch of armor on and.

[Dan Casey]

Sorry.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, no, it's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Sorry. You don't have to. I'll just take. If you want to give me the sword, I'll just take it. Thank you so much. Thank you for that, and thank you for the Go. I don't believe in indentured servitude. That goblin is obviously alive. So if you're giving me a gift of the goblin, I. I will refuse. But I will. I'm. I'm really.

[Dan Casey]

You can pay him. It doesn't have to be intentioned servitude.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, I know you guys don't really.

[Dan Casey]

Pay taxes, but where is my.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, my party just, you know, they scurried off at the site of a. An unattached arm, which I'm assuming is yours, sir.

[Dan Casey]

Yeah, that's.

[Amy Vorpal]

And you know what? I don't want the goblin gift unless he also wants redemption. But if you want redemption, we can pray to my deity, Anno, and you shall have it.

[Danielle Ran]

I want redemption.

[Amy Vorpal]

What?

[Danielle Ran]

I'm. Oh, I'm alive.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes. I. I knew.

[Dan Casey]

Did your deity do this? Is that a miracle?

[Danielle Ran]

I think it's a miracle.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, he. No, my deity did not do this. You were never dead, and I could see that.

[Dan Casey]

It kind of makes you not really believe in your deity, huh?

[Danielle Ran]

Maybe you're having a crisis of faith.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Interesting. I'm sorry. Do you. Do you want to follow with me and we can go get. Get you redeemed and perform the ritual of conversion to worship Anno instead of Eunzu?

[Dan Casey]

What if we say no?

[Amy Vorpal]

Well, that's always an option.

[Dan Casey]

I. I mean, we can. I don't want to speak for everybody. I'm just curious. I just. I like to know my options.

[Amy Vorpal]

Right. I. I'm going to. This is. I'm. I'm actually becoming attached to you right now. I find you incredibly adorable, if I'm honest. You especially you, Skeleton. It's just like, wow. Who knew skeletons could be cute? I will say when. When my party is. We're about to take a rest, and we've got some interpersonal things to hash out.

[Dan Casey]

That's the best time for that kind of scene work to unfold.

[Amy Vorpal]

Right. Well, we haven't really been able to talk yet, and the halfling and I have a past, so.

[Jason Nguyen]

You have a past?

[Dan Casey]

I don't.

[Danielle Ran]

I don't think we have that. Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Well, then you understand. This is. This is. This is just a lot right now. I. I think I have a bigger priority to my party member. We're going to talk about how and.

[Danielle Ran]

Where is your party? What?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, I'm gonna go by.

[Danielle Ran]

They.

[Amy Vorpal]

I think they ducked into the. The nearest room.

[Danielle Ran]

You're alone?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yep.

[Danielle Ran]

Right.

[Dan Casey]

I apologize. I may have done some permanent ocular damage to your party members.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yes. That was her. That's the one that we're going to. I'm gonna need to have a conversation.

[Danielle Ran]

Did you tell them where you were going before you.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, that I didn't go anywhere. I stayed here. I was looking at the. I was looking at the. The skeleton arm that was poking. That was poking my friend's eye out. My friend. Oh, that's what we're talking about, to be honest.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Nguyen]

I want to hear all about it.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, I know, but you are. You all are just very confusing to me, and I. I think I'm going to bid adieu and maybe perhaps I'll see you later on in the dungeon, but I don't feel equipped mentally or physically to attack you right now. And it seems as though this one particularly doesn't want to fight me. You want to bring me gifts. It also doesn't seem like you want redemption, so I know one thing that I do want, and it is for my halfling friend to marry me. And I'm going to prioritize that.

[Danielle Ran]

I. I just. I have a quick question. Have you. You. You've been slaying things out in this dungeon. Have you been slaying skeletons or goblins or.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes, like, a lot. Yes.

[Danielle Ran]

I looked to. To fibs and I looked at busy and I try to give them, like a.

[Dan Casey]

Can I have my sword back?

[Jason Nguyen]

You probably won't need a sword while you're dealing with all your relationship problems.

[Dan Casey]

I don't think that. I know you can't cut through the tension with this. It's pretty rusty.

[Amy Vorpal]

No, I'm not going to give you your sword back. It was a gift.

[Danielle Ran]

And did you know which way was, like, out?

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, yeah. Yes. We're. We're very near the entrance, as it turns out. I.

[Dan Casey]

While this is happening, I want to see if I can have my arm crawl back and just kind of like. I don't know if he's wearing, like, greaves or boots, but if there's boots, I'd like to untie the laces and like.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. Awesome.

[Dan Casey]

I don't know if I can do.

[Amy Vorpal]

That, but, yes, I think you can. We'll do this as a grim fist. Yeah, go ahead.

[Danielle Ran]

And I want. There's something I want to do immediately as I note if I notice the shoelaces being untied.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, let's just.

[Dan Casey]

I rolled a one.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Yeah, you don't. You don't. You're not able to do that. So you. The arm is kind of like, crawling over to his boots, and it starts, like, messing in with the shoelaces. He. He just is like, ah, ah. And like, kind of steps on it and.

[Dan Casey]

Ow, ow, ow.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, you lose some of the bones in your hand. My bones. About five of them. You're going to need to collect those, plus the other broken. Yeah, the broken. The other broken bone. So, yeah, you. You definitely got a maimed arm at this point. And it. Oh, he says. Okay. Okay. What. What do you want? Do you want. I. I just. I can't figure this out. You want me to. To. Do you want me to get my party back here? We're very low on hit points, very low on spell slots. I'm just trying to rest. And you all seem to want to join our party or not.

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, you're very low on hit points. And you're very low. You need to. Well, I think the best thing that we could do is if you give us back the sword, then we can watch your backs while you sleep.

[Amy Vorpal]

No. The sword. Look, I know enough about skeletons and goblins, and I'm not going to give you back a sword. Now I'm. But what I am going to do is walk away from this entire situation.

[Danielle Ran]

Well, what do you know? And as I.

[Jason Nguyen]

Get that you know so much about us, as I try.

[Danielle Ran]

To get this paladin explain themselves, I want to sneakily with my little goblin toes, get my piggies over to his shoelaces and try to untie the shoes.

[Dan Casey]

After the failed attempt, everyone knows they have prehensile toes.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Jason Nguyen]

I'm gonna start calling them my goblin toes.

[Amy Vorpal]

Grim Fist, Roll high.

[Danielle Ran]

He rolled a one.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, okay, so that doesn't happen either. Look. What does happen? So you're. You're kind of, like, sneaking. Everyone's. Everyone's messing with his feet. He's like, you guys are gross. Every. You guys are so gross. I. I can't do this anymore. Nefariel, get back here. I can't.

[Danielle Ran]

Hold on, hold on. Two. Panicking now. Panic. Because he's so scared. Panicking now. He goes. Two words.

[Amy Vorpal]

What?

[Danielle Ran]

Terror. And I try to pick the paladin. Right. Right in the crotch.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Awesome. Yeah. Grimfist5. So he's calling out for his party, and as he. No fair. Oh, and he. He gets. He gets hit right in the crotch with your goblin toes. This. This. Yeah. He does have low hit points. So what. What are the other two? He. He crumples over and he says, no today for. I know. For Arno. And he. He raises his arm. His arm. Like he's gonna call forth a power. What do you do?

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy wants to rear back for another nut kick, but. Okay, I'll leave the rest to my party members.

[Dan Casey]

I grab his arm and try to yank to see if it comes off like mine do.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, awesome. Danielle.

[Jason Nguyen]

Yeah? Take one of my arm bones and try to see if I can, like, use my arm around, like, his neck to, like, choke him out. So, okay. Or maybe not my arm, bro, because I want that. So I'll take off, which. But take off one of my ribs, like, one of my rib bones. And then, like, use that for, like, tension to see if I can, like. So that he can stop. Like, to stop the talking.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. Everyone roll a Grim Fist. We want to roll over.

[Dan Casey]

Six.

[Amy Vorpal]

Nice.

[Danielle Ran]

Five.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Jason Nguyen]

Six.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes. Okay, so he's. He's anno. Anno. Smite these evil beings. And just then, you know, the skeleton with one arm, grabs his arm, rips it off. His crotch is burning. Busy. Is able to choke him. To choke his throne rope. He's gasping for air. And meanwhile. Sorry, Jason. Tippy.

[Danielle Ran]

Tippy's viciously, maliciously just kicking the nuts.

[Amy Vorpal]

Kicking the nuts forever. Okay, And. And without, like, too much pomp and circumstance, you were. You're able to kill him like, he's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead.

[Dan Casey]

Am I just really strong, or do all arms just come off like that?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, thank God.

[Jason Nguyen]

Just come off like that.

[Dan Casey]

He must have Had a pre existing condition. Not coming. Insurance.

[Amy Vorpal]

As far as you know, you can't. You can't hear the other party members. Yeah. What do you want to do?

[Danielle Ran]

What's he got out of. Take a stuff.

[Jason Nguyen]

Oh, yeah, we got to start looting.

[Amy Vorpal]

So. Okay, you start. Yeah, you start looting. You. You find his sword, you find his relic that he wears around his neck, he finds some gold. And just as you're. You are looting him, Mimsy starts hopping up behind you and go. Here you are. What took so long? We've been waiting to hear the screams of your. Your unabliterated death for a really long time.

[Danielle Ran]

You killed surprise.

[Amy Vorpal]

You killed an adventurer. Yeah.

[Dan Casey]

You said do your worst or our best.

[Amy Vorpal]

That wasn't supposed to happen.

[Jason Nguyen]

Okay, that motivational sign really did something.

[Danielle Ran]

I said Terror before we took him out. I said it. I said out loud, you guys. I said true.

[Dan Casey]

He did say it. And I did feel good when I slapped the thing on there.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, come. All right. Come back with me or I'll kill you. And we will get you all set up for Minion Hood.

[Dan Casey]

It sounds great. And I pick up the Paladin's arm and put it inside of Mimzy because it seems like the right thing to do.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Yeah. And it's kind of bleeding all over his list. And it's. It's. The arm itself is bigger than Mimzy. Mimzy's, you know, little. Little.

[Dan Casey]

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have great. I don't have great spatial relations.

[Amy Vorpal]

Right? So. Well, he's. He's happy to accept it. And he says, and now. And anything else you looted from him, we'll. We'll take that back with us too, because it goes into. It goes into the armory and the treasury. And it's for the Collective, the good of all. For Eunzu's minions.

[Dan Casey]

Wow. A socialist paradise. You guys love a pile here.

[Amy Vorpal]

He takes you back and you follow him and he says, and. And here in this room, you can have any spot on the floor that you like. He takes his mouth and he starts. He uses a tooth that he's got, and he uses it like chalk on the ground to carve an ax. Like, you could. You could. You could have a space here. This could be your space. And he hops over closer to the. The terror racks, torture racks. And he uses his tooth like chalk again and marks an X. Like. And you could have a spot here. And you can have a spot here. And you look around and you see that there, lots of little X'S. Are on the ground. And some of them have little trinkets and rocks and leather, some things in vials. And it looks like you've been assigned your bunks, which is just a spot on the floor. Wow.

[Dan Casey]

A spot of my own. Just like I always imagined.

[Jason Nguyen]

It's so opulent. I never dreamed of having such consideration. Thank you so much.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah. Congratulations. So we'll just be getting started here in a bit. I'm going to. I'm going to send some other people after these adventurers. We don't want to kill all of them right away. It seems like you. You can handle yourself. So busy. You're going to be assigned to move that pile of rocks from there all the way to there. They're just like three feet apart. So you're just going to be moving rocks. Okay. You. You fibs. You're going to be. You're. You're actually. We're going to give you this pickaxe. There's no gems. There's no metallic veins of any sort. There's nothing to mine for. For. But you are going to mine this wall. Just come over here and you're gonna beat. Take off little chunks of this wall. Okay. And you join. You join a bunch of you join like two other kobolds who are also doing the same thing pretty happily. And you, Tippy, you're going to. We're going to take you into this room. It seems like you actually need a little bit of help. This is the practice room. You're going to practice running away. Screaming, taunting, terrorizing. And more than anything else, we're going to train you to suppress all of your instincts.

[Danielle Ran]

Suppress my instincts?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Danielle Ran]

Oh. Oh. But we're not gonna die, right?

[Amy Vorpal]

Probably eventually you will die. But.

[Danielle Ran]

But, yeah, everybody dies eventually. But, like, we're not gonna die today.

[Amy Vorpal]

No.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay. Well, that's good. Yeah. Cool. Could I be a sign? I have. Hey, I have a question. I'll put my hand. Hand up.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Danielle Ran]

Could I be assigned, like, on like a. Like guard. Like guard duty? Like where the exit or the door is to the outside?

[Amy Vorpal]

You. I love the initiative. Those are for some higher up minions. And right now you need to. You need practice. It's very clear.

[Danielle Ran]

How come I need practice and those guys get to hit walls and stuff?

[Amy Vorpal]

I mean, do you want me to say it? It?

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, say it. Say it. What? I don't get it.

[Amy Vorpal]

You. You're fun. It's surprising that you surpr that you survived this first challenge. You are objectively inept.

[Danielle Ran]

I'm sorry. Bad guys. One paladin dead. So I don't think we're inept. I think we're actually pretty cool. Right? Right, guys?

[Jason Nguyen]

We're pretty cool. But I'm also really happy just moving my shiny rocks and busy. Just starts, like, taking a rocks, moves there, and it's like. And then takes the rocks and then moves it back. And then takes the rocks, then moves it back again.

[Danielle Ran]

I get a preposition for you. You know, do an orientation for all of these goblins and skeletons. It's got to be a lot of work and it's got to be overwhelming for one mimic, right?

[Amy Vorpal]

Wow. Thank you for seeing me.

[Danielle Ran]

What if you had a goblin? A assistant?

[Dan Casey]

Were you supposed to be invisible? Oh, I was confused because you could talk in my brain before.

[Amy Vorpal]

Oh, I can do. Yes, I can. I can do both. And. And I. I guess what I mean is thank you for. No one's ever understood how hard I work. I don't sleep. I only sleep when I'm supposed to be sleeping in a room.

[Danielle Ran]

I could do your job and maybe you could, like, take us, you know, a little rest, take a little sleepy sleep.

[Amy Vorpal]

I. I really like the idea of that. I also. I need you to understand that I have practiced in the practice room suppressing my own instincts for a. For many years before I was elevated to this role.

[Danielle Ran]

I could suppress my instincts. Tippy wants to do a deception on Mimzy and showcase how good he is at suppressing his.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so the. The main way that people are trained to suppress their instincts, instincts is to not go towards danger or to. To willingly go towards danger or to not flinch when danger is presented. So Mimzy is going to be. There's one way that we could test where your instincts are and how. How good you are at them. Shoot.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah. Yeah, sure. What?

[Amy Vorpal]

Mimsy goes and, like, turns into this massive, like, mimic that with, like, teeth. Like, rows and rows of teeth. The tongue flaring out, like, licking you, spittle flying on you. And just like, very, very abrupt, very surprising. And gets really big and starts, like, chomping in front of your face, not touching you.

[Dan Casey]

Bibbs drops his pickaxe in surprise. Like, oh, my God.

[Amy Vorpal]

But let's see if. Let's see if Tippy suppresses his instincts.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay, so what sort of role is this?

[Amy Vorpal]

What is this role? This. I don't know. Is this myth, is it being clever or is it being physical? Maybe it's both. It. Let's do both.

[Danielle Ran]

Okay.

[Amy Vorpal]

You're gonna. I think you're prepared because you knew this. You knew something was gonna happen. You didn't know what. So you can roll two dice. You are not able to be helped. So you're gonna roll two dice for myth and two dice for grim. Grim fist. So myth, you want to roll under your number, which is four.

[Danielle Ran]

Great. Great. Rolled a three and a one.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, that's. That's under it. Perfect. So, yeah, your brain. Your brain is computing. You're being fil. It's being filtered through what you know to be true, which is this per. This chest is not going to attack you. And now you want to roll a grim fist, which is over your number two dice. Okay.

[Danielle Ran]

Over my number.

[Amy Vorpal]

God.

[Danielle Ran]

I have to, like, roll two fives.

[Amy Vorpal]

A five or a six?

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah, I rolled a five. I have a five and a two.

[Amy Vorpal]

A five. Minute two.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. Okay. Okay. So, yes, your instincts are visibly suppressed. Your mind is, like. It's like, calm. Like, your face is wildly calm. No one's ever seen you this. This calm for you. You're monk like. And. And meanwhile, you know, Mimsy's going nuts. His. His. His jaws of the chest are opening and shutting, opening and shutting. And his tongue. Tongue is flying everywhere. And you're being covered in this purpley mucus. And. But. And you don't. You don't move. Nothing in your body moves. However, you do pee your pants.

[Danielle Ran]

For sure. For sure. Absolutely.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay.

[Danielle Ran]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay. And so. So Mimzy says, I.

[Danielle Ran]

Stone cold.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Danielle Ran]

And I'm peeing my pants.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes.

[Danielle Ran]

Stone cold. Looking at Mimsy.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yes. And a puddle is forming underneath you. So Mimsy just, like, shakes his entire head and goes, wow, I really underestimated you. And right where this. The. The P is, he draws a circle, not an X, on the floor and says, I think you're right. You can be trained to be lower middle manager in Eunzoo's dungeon.

[Danielle Ran]

I. I agree.

[Jason Nguyen]

I wish I had some fluid to expel. That seems to be the trick to getting a quick promotion.

[Dan Casey]

My bones are so dry.

[Jason Nguyen]

So dry. My bones to drive a middle management. That's what they say about this girl.

[Amy Vorpal]

Okay, so you all have. So we're gonna end there Wild. So great. So, so great. Thank you for playing. You're. You're now part of this dungeon. As the years go on, you're going to be. You're going to be one of the oldest ones working there, the ones who have lasted the longest. And it's going to continue to surprise other people that you survive these. These experiences. And I guess the one thing that you'll take away is that there's. People start whispering and talking throughout these years of like what's going on? What's going on? And there is something that is protecting you. It feels like like there's something bigger than you and, and everyone's whispering and it, it seems even bigger than Eunzuk's lair that like everyone's dying off, but somehow you are not dying off. So there's, I mean for lack of a better term, like you've got plot armor. But in the, in the, but in the world, it, it is, it is a thing as well. Like people are discussing what could be going on with you, but you don't know yet.

[Dan Casey]

Why don't they just die?

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah, why won't they just die? So we'll just end it there and hopefully that was a lot of fun. I thought we were going to be end it sooner but shenanigans, right? So great job everybody and it was really, really fun.

[Dan Casey]

Realms of Peril and Glory from one.

[Jason Nguyen]

Shots to campaigns, indie games to established.

[Amy Vorpal]

Join Liz, Laura, Zach, James, Maddie, Naomi and Pim.

[Jason Nguyen]

I wrote the natural 20.

[Danielle Ran]

Yes.

[Jason Nguyen]

And a rotating cast of incredible guests.

[Dan Casey]

I am Johnny Chiadini, Jasper, William Cartwright.

[Danielle Ran]

Grant Howitt, Sharmini Bundell as we weave.

[Dan Casey]

Thrilling new stories with gorgeous sound design.

[Danielle Ran]

And beautiful original music.

[Dan Casey]

Search Realms of Peril and Glory Wherever.

[Danielle Ran]

You listen to podcasts.

[Dan Casey]

Listening to a podcast should be time well spent. And I promise it will be if you'll give this podcast a try. It's called Something you should know. I'm the host, Mike Carruthers, and in every episode I talk with leading experts on topics I know you will find.

[Amy Vorpal]

Fascinating from why people can't keep secrets.

[Dan Casey]

What your favorite music says about you, why your pet acts in strange ways, and so much more. Something you should know is designed to give you information you can use in your life life and give you great intel that you can share with others.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm told it's a binge worthy podcast.

[Dan Casey]

And with over a thousand episodes, there's a lot to binge on. Something you should know has been ranked in the top of the Apple podcast charts consistently for a long time. I know you're going to like this.

[Amy Vorpal]

I just need to get you to try it. Something you should know.

[Dan Casey]

It's available wherever you listen to podcasts. Nothing is as it seems in liminal London. Hidden amongst everyday people are werewolves. You'll be the werewolf then.

[Amy Vorpal]

Yeah.

[Jason Nguyen]

And Megs Wizards Montgomery, Archibald Barker at your bloody service.

[Dan Casey]

And those cursed by the fey monarchs of the city.

[Danielle Ran]

Declan Buchanan, PI he has quite a large pair of antlers growing out of his forehead.

[Dan Casey]

Join the unlikely misfits of liminal London as they work to take down the powers that claim to rule the city.

[Amy Vorpal]

I think the Queen doesn't like you very much.

[Dan Casey]

With incredible guest players like Johnny Chiadini.

[Amy Vorpal]

You say there's sludge?

[Dan Casey]

Yeah.

[Amy Vorpal]

Sludge. Yeah.

[Dan Casey]

I'm the sludge boy.

[Amy Vorpal]

Love sludge boy.

[Dan Casey]

No, again, I'm not that sludge boy. Grant Howitt.

[Danielle Ran]

Isaac Newton didn't study ing Putney, did he? Whose eyes It.

[Dan Casey]

Oh, my God. And Sharmini Bundell.

[Amy Vorpal]

There's a magic community.

[Jason Nguyen]

There is.

[Danielle Ran]

Yay.

[Amy Vorpal]

I'm in a magic community.

[Dan Casey]

Go to realmspod.com or search realms of peril and glory wherever you listen to podcasts to find this mysteriously magical actual play series.