FEED DROP: Introducing Tales From The Stinky Dragon, Campaign 3: Kanon! - Critical Role

Summary5 min read

Critical Role Podcast Summary
Episode: FEED DROP: Introducing Tales From The Stinky Dragon, Campaign 3: Kanon!
Release Date: October 23, 2024
Host/Author: Critical Role

Introduction to Tales From The Stinky Dragon

In this special feed drop episode, Critical Role introduces a new addition to their expansive universe: "Tales From The Stinky Dragon, Campaign 3: Kanon!" Hosted by the talented voice actors from Critical Role, this episode sets the stage for an exhilarating tabletop role-playing adventure filled with humor, drama, and intricate storytelling.

Barbara Dunkelman kicks off the episode by announcing the partnership with Tales From The Stinky Dragon, highlighting their commitment to delivering engaging actual play content. She enthusiastically states:

"We're huge fans of the Tales from the Stinky Dragon series, so as a special treat, we want to share with you all the first episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon Campaign 3 canon right now on our podcast feed."
[01:02]

Campaign Overview: The Battle for Midris

Gustavo Cirola, the Dungeon Master, provides a rich backstory for Campaign 3: Kanon. The narrative unfolds in the war-torn world of Midris, where trained soldiers find themselves entangled in a celestial conflict between distant deities and the underworldly devils. The central antagonist, Infernus, seeks to reclaim the celestial gates of Hyra, posing a dire threat to the realm.

Blaine Gibson adds a poetic flair to the lore introduction:

"Best wishes to you breath drinkers. Spectralize into the Stinky dragon and quaff our latest cuppa..."
[02:54]

Character Introductions

The episode features four main players, each bringing their unique characters to life:

Doug Boone
Played by John Risinger
Doug Boone is a bug bear artificer, standing tall at 7 feet and weighing around 350 pounds. Unlike typical bug bears, Doug possesses a softer, fluffier demeanor and a kind face complemented by dark brown hair and glasses. His attire includes brown pants, a beige long sleeve shirt, a teal and maroon vest, and spiked leather armor. Doug's catchphrase is:

"I could figure it out."
[07:07]
Tolv
Played by Blaine Gibson
Tolv is a green orc barbarian, reminiscent of a traditional Viking with a modern twist. Standing over 7 feet, his armor incorporates colors inspired by the aurora borealis, blending deep blues and light greens. Tolv is characterized by his happy disposition and readiness to engage in battle.

"Look at those tall boys. All of us. Very tall."
[07:31]
Gunther
Played by Chris Damaris
Gunther is a wog fighter, a custom race similar to frogs. At 2 feet 10 inches and weighing 30 pounds, Gunther is agile and keenly observant. Equipped with a rapier and shield, his catchphrase is:

"Hello, I'm Gunther. It's a pleasure to meet you."
[12:21]
Natty Wonder
Played by Chris Damaris
Natty is a drow warlock with fluid pronouns, often presenting in drag. Standing at 5 feet, she adorns a flamboyant outfit featuring a large wig, high-waisted flare jeans with rhinestones, white boots, a gingham button-up shirt, and gloves adorned with rings. Her catchphrase reflects her Southern charm:

"Butter my biscuit, it'll be fine."
[15:33]

Gameplay Highlights: The Lava-Filled Cavern

The campaign kicks off in a craggy cavern near a molten river of lava. The players are tasked with a mission to rescue a fellow soldier from the clutches of Infernus and her Undarian minions. The tension is palpable as the group navigates through combat scenarios, strategizes their moves, and faces unexpected challenges.

Notable Gameplay Moments:

Initiative and Character Dynamics:
The players roll for initiative to determine the order of actions. The initial interactions showcase the camaraderie and playful banter among the group.

"Ready? Roll off on the eights."
[05:06]
Natty's Ingenious Lasso Maneuver:
Natty creatively uses a rope to subdue an Undarian, demonstrating her resourcefulness.

"I could start making my way so that I can cross over safely, but also see if I can get them to follow me down there with them."
[26:43]
Gunther's Bold Attack:
Gunther attempts to take down one of Infernus’s minions with a javelin, showcasing bravery despite the odds.

"Natty saved me. And then I... I left. Hopeful Lava bait."
[56:32]
Character Sacrifices:
The campaign doesn't shy away from high-stakes moments, including character deaths that add emotional weight to the narrative.

"We lost two friends today, Gunther."
[65:29]

Key Quotes and Speaker Attributions

Gustavo Cirola on Campaign Mechanics:
Explaining the simplified combat system for the episode:

"This little scenario here, we're going to be playing like you all have level 0 stats, so no modifiers."
[21:35]
Barbara Dunkelman on Campaign Excitement:
Expressing her enthusiasm for the new campaign:

"Back for campaign three. Super excited."
[05:37]
Chris Damaris Reflecting on Gameplay:
Discussing the group's performance and strategy:

"It's like watching Yoda on his bad day."
[49:34]

Concluding Remarks and Next Steps

As the episode draws to a close, Gustavo Cirola teases future developments:

"It's a real short campaign. Just a new game. Plus, it is actually the Yndarian's turn."
[21:15]

The players reflect on the intense gameplay and anticipate future episodes that will delve deeper into character development and the overarching plot of Campaign 3: Kanon.

Barbara Dunkelman wraps up with a reminder for listeners to support the show:

"It's really the only way we could make this show. So keep supporting us."
[71:21]

Listeners are encouraged to follow "Tales From The Stinky Dragon" on various platforms, subscribe for early access, and engage with exclusive content through Patreon.

Episode Structure

Introduction to the New Campaign
Hosted by Barbara Dunkelman, outlining the partnership and campaign premise.
Character Introductions
Detailed presentations of each player’s character, complete with descriptions and catchphrases.
Initial Gameplay and Combat Scenario
The group embarks on their mission, facing Infernus and Undarian forces in a high-stakes environment.
Character Interactions and Development
Dynamic exchanges and strategic planning among players as the narrative unfolds.
Climactic Confrontations and Outcomes
Intense battles leading to significant character developments, including sacrifices and victories.
Conclusion and Teasers for Future Episodes
Wrap-up of the episode’s events with hints at upcoming storylines and encouragement for listener support.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

"We're huge fans of the Tales from the Stinky Dragon series..."
Barbara Dunkelman
[01:02]
"I could figure it out."
Doug Boone (John Risinger)
[07:07]
"Butter my biscuit, it'll be fine."
Natty Wonder (Chris Damaris)
[15:33]
"Welcoming to Mortalian Boot Camp B Team."
Sergeant Steel Eye
[70:35]

Conclusion

"FEED DROP: Introducing Tales From The Stinky Dragon, Campaign 3: Kanon!" offers listeners a captivating glimpse into the new campaign's rich lore, diverse characters, and immersive gameplay. With its blend of humor, strategic combat, and heartfelt role-playing, this episode sets a promising foundation for what promises to be a memorable addition to the Critical Role universe.

Stay tuned for upcoming episodes, join the community on Patreon for exclusive content, and prepare to embark on an epic adventure with "Tales From The Stinky Dragon."

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Transcript943 lines

[00:01]
Gustavo Cirola
The kind of burgers you get today tells you a lot about yourself. You're either someone who settles for sad same old same old burgers or you're Edit Carl's Jr obsessed with a tangy OG Western bacon cheeseburger demanding a house made guacamole, loaded guac bacon fired up for the insanely hot El Diablo or craving a classic Charbold Famous star. Give in to your flavored cravings. Do your mouth to Carl's Jr Good Burger. It's better over here at and T.
[00:34]
Barbara Dunkelman
Customers Switching to T Mobile has never been easier. We'll pay off your existing phone and.
[00:39]
Gustavo Cirola
Give you a new one free all on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com carrier freedom to switch today. Pay off up to 650 via virtual.
[00:50]
Chris Damaris
Prepaid MasterCard in 15 days.
[00:51]
Gustavo Cirola
Free phone up to 830 via 24 monthly bill credits plus tax qualifying port and trade and service on go 5G.
[00:56]
Chris Damaris
Next and credit required. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance and required finance agreement is due.
[01:02]
Barbara Dunkelman
Hey there critters. In case you missed it, we recently partnered up with the incredible folks at Tales from the Stinky Dragon to put the entire Tales from the Stinky Dragon series and their bonus behind the scenes show Second Wind on Beacon tv. Tales from the Stinky Dragon is an actual play comedy podcast that stars players Barbara Dunkelman, Blaine Gibson, Chris Damaris and John Risinger, as well as their very patient game master Gustavo Cirola. Their newest installment, Campaign 3 Canon, focuses on a team of trained soldiers caught in the middle of a war between distant deities and under dwelling devils. But as they turn the tide of this celestial crusade, a voice beckons them from the beyond. Destiny or doom. We're huge fans of the Tales from the Stinky Dragon series, so as a special treat, we want to share with you all the first episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon Campaign 3 canon right now on our podcast feed. We hope you love this story as much as we do, and if you like what you hear, you can listen to new episodes every other Wednesday anywhere you stream podcasts or on the Tales from The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. And if you really like what you hear, you can receive early AD free access to Tales from the Stinky Dragon and get access to their exclusive bonus show Second Wind when you join Beacon or the Tales from the Stinky Dragon Patreon. Now, without further ado, enjoy the first episode of Campaign 3 canon.
[02:55]
Blaine Gibson
Best wishes to you breath drinkers. Spectralize into the Stinky dragon and quaff our latest cuppa. Cross my heart and hope to chai. It's a mixture of blacked out tea leaves, vaporous water, invisimilk, soul filled seasonings and peppered with radiant refulgence. One inhale of this incorporeal concoction and you'll have a soul new outlook on life. Now bring over a brew snag a seat in view and let's introduce our foul odorous crew.
[03:55]
Gustavo Cirola
Hello, everyone. My name is Gustavo Cirola. I'm the dungeon master of our putrid party. I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow. Before we really get into the arrow, we're gonna do it a little slightly different arrow this time. I also, on top of the normal question, I also want every player to briefly describe their characters. I want to hear your player name your character name, the race, slash species, class, and a physical description. Your face, body, clothes, stuff like that. Just really help us build that theater of the mind.
[04:30]
Chris Damaris
And any food allergies, your dietary restrictions.
[04:35]
Gustavo Cirola
This week's role playing warm up question is, if your character had a catchphrase, what would it be?
[04:42]
John Risinger
You said that all spooky. Yeah, Gus.
[04:46]
Unknown
We're back.
[04:46]
Gustavo Cirola
We're back. Believe it or not, I feel like.
[04:48]
Chris Damaris
We should roll for initiative to who has to introduce.
[04:50]
John Risinger
Let's do it.
[04:51]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[04:51]
Unknown
I don't know how we decide who does it.
[04:53]
John Risinger
Everyone have a D20 in front of us.
[04:54]
Chris Damaris
First roll of the campaign. Here we go with real dice.
[04:59]
John Risinger
I rolled a 12.
[05:01]
Gustavo Cirola
8.
[05:01]
Chris Damaris
8.
[05:02]
Gustavo Cirola
8. Okay.
[05:04]
Unknown
Three of you rolled an 8.
[05:05]
Chris Damaris
Roll off on the eights. Roll off on the eights.
[05:07]
Gustavo Cirola
Roll off.
[05:08]
Unknown
19.
[05:08]
Blaine Gibson
14.
[05:09]
Unknown
14.
[05:10]
Chris Damaris
Just. Good Lord, Chris. Ready? Roll off on the. So Blaine is after Barbara.
[05:16]
Unknown
After Barbara.
[05:17]
Chris Damaris
And now it's me and Chris.
[05:18]
Unknown
Nine, two.
[05:19]
Chris Damaris
Okay. Barbara, Blaine, Chris.
[05:22]
John Risinger
It's just alphabetical.
[05:23]
Unknown
That's the normal.
[05:24]
Chris Damaris
Why did we just do the fates have to decide? Okay, we literally.
[05:29]
Unknown
That's the order we always go in anyways.
[05:32]
John Risinger
That's so funny.
[05:33]
Unknown
Amazing.
[05:34]
John Risinger
Well, hello everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkelman.
[05:36]
Gustavo Cirola
Nailed it.
[05:37]
John Risinger
Back for campaign three. Super excited.
[05:40]
Gustavo Cirola
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
[05:42]
John Risinger
And on this campaign, I will be playing Doug Boone. Spelled D U, G, B O O.
[05:49]
Gustavo Cirola
N e. Just like it sounds.
[05:51]
John Risinger
Yes, exactly. Doug Boone is a bug bear artificer. And he's very tall. He's about 7ft, 350ish pounds. Although he might say that he's 300 pounds. He's lying. He is a bit on the chubbier side. You know, a lot of bug bears are a little more toned and muscular. He's a little more on the soft, fluffy side. He has a very kind face. He has glasses that he doesn't wear all the time. He has kind of like dark brown hair all over his body and face with kind of like light brown patches. He wears brown pants, a kind of off white beige long sleeve shirt, and a vest. And the vest is two toned colors, both teal and maroon. And he has black boots. Also, he has a lot of leather armor with spikes on it.
[06:40]
Chris Damaris
I love the fact that you are playing a character now that is larger in height and weight than your last two characters combined.
[06:47]
John Risinger
Combined.
[06:49]
Gustavo Cirola
By far more than double, probably.
[06:52]
Chris Damaris
Which episode will we find out that Doug is actually Elga and Bart in a trench coat?
[06:58]
John Risinger
A giant furry trench coat?
[06:59]
Unknown
Spoilers.
[07:00]
Gustavo Cirola
John, don't forget to do your catchphrase. And I want to make this a little more interesting. Can we hear the catchphrase in your character's voices?
[07:08]
Unknown
Oh, absolutely, guys, I would love to do my catchphrase in my character's voice. Hey, guys, I'm Doug Boone. And my catchphrase is I could figure it out.
[07:19]
Gustavo Cirola
I love Doug. I love it. That's so good.
[07:22]
Unknown
I'm already so endeared to this giant teddy bear character.
[07:25]
John Risinger
Thank you.
[07:26]
Unknown
Thank you, Boyne.
[07:27]
John Risinger
I mean.
[07:28]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, yeah.
[07:29]
Unknown
I guess that's a great place for me to start.
[07:31]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. What a great segue. Yeah.
[07:33]
Unknown
Hi, I'm Blaine Gibson, previously known as Kyborgan Chapaney, among others. And today, slash this campaign for the next year. I don't know, however long on this, I will be playing Tolv. Tolv is an orc barbarian similar to Doug. He is like 7ft something. He's a very tall drink of water.
[07:54]
John Risinger
We tall boys.
[07:55]
Unknown
We tall boys. This is like my first go at, like, a real heavy. He's a green orc. And when you think about him, think about like a traditional Viking, not like a Hollywood Viking with the leather armor and the horns. He's got armor pieces and a helmet and stuff like that that protects his, like, nose and stuff like that. And then the colors are a mixture of, like, brown leathers, but also the colors you think of when you think of an aurora borealis because he's beautiful sailor and he's been, you know, sailing the seas.
[08:23]
And for those less familiar with borealis, Aurora for Chris.
[08:28]
So I looked into, like, Swedish colors, colors that are common there. And it's like deep blues and maybe some like, light greenish blue. Like aquas.
[08:37]
Chris Damaris
Cool colors.
[08:38]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[08:39]
Unknown
And like, and some Like, I don't. I forget all the words for the colors. Light blues.
[08:44]
Gustavo Cirola
There's blues. A lot of blues. And greens.
[08:46]
John Risinger
Like turquoise and stuff.
[08:48]
Unknown
Yeah, turquoise and stuff.
[08:49]
Chris Damaris
Is there any chance that Tuls catchphrase is I forget the colors?
[08:55]
Unknown
So, you know, you gotta imagine Tolv. Big, huge Orc Viking. And this is what he sounds like. This is his catchphrase.
[09:04]
Yoo hoo. It's me, Tolv.
[09:06]
Gustavo Cirola
I'll get it.
[09:11]
Unknown
They put his face in his hands.
[09:13]
Chris Damaris
Yeah.
[09:13]
Unknown
Tolv talks like everything is questioned. He has a smile on at all times. Very happy to be here. He is still working on voice. Has not talked to people in long, man. Very glad to be with the group.
[09:31]
Hey, To, I think. I think your voice sounds really cool.
[09:34]
Oh, thank you, Doug. That makes me so happy.
[09:37]
John Risinger
Yeah.
[09:37]
Unknown
You sound like someone who I want to be friends with.
[09:40]
Do you want to be the bodies? Yeah.
[09:42]
Oh, yeah.
[09:43]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, good.
[09:44]
Unknown
Oh, yeah.
[09:47]
So stolen.
[09:48]
Gustavo Cirola
It sounded like you asked, do you want to be the bodies? And I was really confused for a second. The Boidies.
[09:55]
Unknown
Keeping with our sneaky dragon tradition of always having a barbarian, I will be relying upon both Chris and Barbara. I am in your hands with barbarian insights.
[10:04]
John Risinger
And insights, I will be of no help.
[10:05]
Unknown
I don't want that.
[10:05]
Chris Damaris
Blaine's. Tolv's catchphrase that Blaine just did was the audio version of a person taking a high dive and doing three flips and then belly flopping at the end.
[10:17]
John Risinger
He did great. And then doubted himself and then, like.
[10:20]
Chris Damaris
Peeing themselves a little bit in the pool underwater. Yeah.
[10:25]
Gustavo Cirola
So if we continue this. This tradition, then John will be the Barbarian in Campaign 4, right?
[10:32]
Unknown
Your fate has been decided.
[10:34]
Hi, I'm Chris Damaris and I'm playing Gunther. He's a wog fighter. A wog is a custom race. It's kind of like a frog, essentially. A frog.
[10:50]
Just sounds like it.
[10:51]
John Risinger
It almost sounds like someone is trying. Like Doug is trying to say frog, but just says frog.
[10:57]
Unknown
And he is 2ft and maybe like 10 inches. About 30 pounds.
[11:04]
Gustavo Cirola
We got to have a little guy every campaign.
[11:06]
John Risinger
Does he say he's three feet when he talks to other people?
[11:09]
Chris Damaris
Just on his dating profile.
[11:10]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[11:12]
Unknown
Think of like a yellow. More of like a light kind of darker brown. Yellow.
[11:19]
John Risinger
A light, darker brown. Yellow.
[11:22]
Gustavo Cirola
Well, I'm thinking, like, when you say that color, it makes me think of like Texas grass in the summer, like where it's not green anymore. It's like, starting to yellow and kind of dry out a bit.
[11:31]
John Risinger
Deserty. Yeah. The light dark brown Yellow.
[11:34]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[11:34]
Unknown
Well, Gus got it.
[11:36]
Texas.
[11:37]
Gustavo Cirola
I'm looking at my yard right now, so that may be part of it.
[11:41]
Unknown
Uh, with some, you know, kind of like speckled Y a little bit, you know. And he's got big frog eyes. He's clad in leather, and he's got a cape with a hood that he sometimes wears. Wogs aren't very common, so sometimes he'll just put the cape on and, you know, wander about. And he's got a sword and shield.
[11:59]
Gustavo Cirola
Weren't those Pokemon games? Sword and shield? Yeah.
[12:01]
Chris Damaris
Yes, they were.
[12:02]
Unknown
Tolv would want to make Gunther feel special with Doug.
[12:08]
So be like, oh, look at those tall boys. All of us. Very tall.
[12:11]
So tall.
[12:12]
Gustavo Cirola
Gunther.
[12:13]
John Risinger
I think there's a five foot difference between him and us.
[12:17]
Unknown
His catchphrase would be, hello, I'm Gunther. It's a pleasure to meet you.
[12:22]
John Risinger
The perfect voice.
[12:22]
Unknown
Please remove your shoes. I shall kill you.
[12:26]
Gustavo Cirola
You've got the biggest voice out of the first three so far. Like, there's a real discrepancy going on here.
[12:31]
Unknown
Did Tol and Gunther switch voices?
[12:33]
Sounds like play Yoda. Me too, Gunfo. Really glad everyone has names. That I could say very easily.
[12:43]
Gunther, what's a mighty shield you carry? That's. Wow, it's so big. May I try it on?
[12:49]
And I imagine it's really small on Cole's body.
[12:53]
Gustavo Cirola
Bottle cap. Yeah, like a knee guard. Like something you would put on your.
[12:58]
Chris Damaris
Detail about Gunther wearing a hood to blend in Reeks of the Ninja Turtles wearing trench coats to blend in in New York City. Like, no one would notice the giant anthropomorphic turtle walking around who's wearing a fedora and a trench coat.
[13:15]
Gustavo Cirola
Well, normally you want to ignore people wearing fedoras. As a former fedora trench coat warrior, I would want to say you probably want to normally ignore those people.
[13:22]
Chris Damaris
Oh, Gus, were you the Austin streaker of 89?
[13:29]
John Risinger
That's really how you get maladies.
[13:30]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. Yeah. With a fedora. Hi, I'm John Risinger.
[13:37]
John Risinger
John Risinger.
[13:40]
Chris Damaris
I am this campaign playing Natty Wonder. Natty Wonder is a drow warlock.
[13:47]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh.
[13:47]
Chris Damaris
Natty has. Has fluid pronouns. He, him, she, her, but often with Natty's preferred form of gender expression. Natty's in drag all the time. Natty loves drag. Just to make it easy for everybody, she's. She answers to she, her when she's in drag. So I'll just be going with that. But either way, it's fine. It's all gravy to Natty, who loves gravy. Because Natty's a good kind of a southern looking girl.
[14:13]
John Risinger
Ooh, I love it. And I love that the name is a punishment.
[14:16]
Gustavo Cirola
Yes.
[14:16]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. Natty Wonder Genius.
[14:18]
Unknown
Wait, what?
[14:19]
Gustavo Cirola
Natty, did you want to explain it for Chris?
[14:21]
Chris Damaris
Maddie Wonder.
[14:22]
John Risinger
NAT1.
[14:23]
Unknown
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[14:26]
John Risinger
I should have let him sat with it.
[14:28]
Unknown
I was thinking of the beer. No, Natty Light.
[14:32]
Gustavo Cirola
She's not Natty Light.
[14:33]
Chris Damaris
Yep. John loves beer. He named his character after it.
[14:37]
Gustavo Cirola
Didn't make sense.
[14:38]
Chris Damaris
I was like, you know me, always talking about a brewski. It's not even a good beer. Natty is 5 foot 0 and in her drag she's wearing like a giant blonde, curly, larger than life wig.
[14:52]
Gustavo Cirola
She wear.
[14:53]
Chris Damaris
She is wearing like high waisted flare jeans that have rhinestones on them, white boots, a gingham button up shirt, gloves covered in rings. Because that's just the level of audaciousness that she loves.
[15:05]
Unknown
Cool.
[15:06]
Chris Damaris
Natty is always also seen with her son, who she'd be happy to introduce you to later on as we get into the campaign. But she has.
[15:15]
John Risinger
Are you allowed to talk to him?
[15:16]
Chris Damaris
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's always on like she likes to take him around on a little like those little toddler leashes that you see people with.
[15:22]
Unknown
I reach down and say, it's me, your Uncle Toad.
[15:28]
John Risinger
Yeah.
[15:28]
Chris Damaris
Was there anything else that I need to tell about Natty?
[15:30]
Unknown
Your catchphrase zing us with that catchphrase, brother.
[15:33]
Chris Damaris
Natty's catchphrase is, well, butter my biscuit, it'll be fine.
[15:38]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh.
[15:39]
Unknown
I like Natty Wander.
[15:40]
John Risinger
Natty Wander.
[15:42]
Gustavo Cirola
Hello, dolly.
[15:43]
John Risinger
You know what's gonna be so hard for me is I have a tendency to like mirror people or like imitate people when I am enjoying what they sound like.
[15:51]
Chris Damaris
For your Doug Southern accent.
[15:55]
John Risinger
No, I'm gonna. I'm gonna like forget Doug's voice completely and just want to emulate like Tolv and Natty all the time because they're such thick accents and I love it.
[16:03]
Unknown
Same to Doug.
[16:04]
So.
[16:04]
So Natty's a drow.
[16:10]
Chris Damaris
Drow queen.
[16:12]
Gustavo Cirola
Ladies and gentlemen, the first non inspiration die of Campaign 3.
[16:15]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. Yeah.
[16:16]
Unknown
Hey, you better work.
[16:19]
Chris Damaris
Yeah, you better work.
[16:22]
Unknown
Okay, I think it's time for us to all calm down. Simmer down.
[16:25]
John Risinger
Everybody stay away.
[16:30]
Gustavo Cirola
We have fun here. It's a fun show. All right, well, let's dive into it.
[16:36]
Blaine Gibson
We used to know the gods. They would descend from Hyrule and dwell among us mortals on Midras. The world was showered with rich blessings and all felt the warmth of the bright One, the sovereign God of Sun. But one day, while the Bright one was sojourning on Midris, a fiendish creature called Infernus slinked out from the depths of Undar and stabbed the Bright one in the back with the blade of Nether Flames. The Bright one, God of gods, the shining light of Hyra, was slain. Half the world was instantly bathed in darkness. But thankfully, the Pale one, God of moon, pierced the blackness with his longbow of lunar light and cast the devil back into the bowels of Undar. To make sure such a tragedy never happened again, the gods returned to Hyra, and the celestial gates were sealed for a thousand years, henceforth known as the Day the Sun Stood still, we longingly wait for the day when the gates of Hyra are opened once more. But we aren't the only ones. For the past millennia, the Sun Slayer herself, Infernus, the Undarian Overlord, has amassed an army of devils and demons to storm the gates of Hyra. Above, only one thing stands in their way. Us. May the gods have mercy on Midris.
[18:25]
Unknown
Wow, that was a lot of lore.
[18:28]
Gustavo Cirola
I hope you took notes.
[18:30]
Unknown
I did, for once in my life.
[18:33]
Chris Damaris
Oh, my gosh. Three campaigns is all it took.
[18:35]
Gustavo Cirola
You took notes, Blaine?
[18:37]
Unknown
Yeah. The Bright one, Sovereign God of Sun, was stabbed by Infernus. Hyra. Lora. I got the juice of it. We're going to move on.
[18:51]
Gustavo Cirola
Wow, it's like I heard all the lore twice there.
[18:54]
John Risinger
Yeah, it's crazy. Word for word.
[18:57]
Unknown
Spark notes.
[19:01]
Gustavo Cirola
Your lungs choke with a swath of sultry heat and smoke. You're in a vast, craggy cavern, perhaps underground, and it's peppered with stone ruins here and there. It should be pitch black if not for a molten river of lava oozing past you all nearby. What are you doing standing around, you meatheaded maggots? Your gaze darts away from the lava to a short, mossy, stocky bog gnome. He's wearing a blue military uniform with a golden patch on either shoulder. His face is currently contorted with eyes bulging, mouth dripping with spittle, and a single thick vein throbbing in his forehead. B team, the clock is ticking. You've got your mission. Go, go, go. He shoves something into your hands, and with stubby legs, he kicks all four of you towards the river of lava. Everyone roll. Initiative. Oh, wow.
[19:48]
John Risinger
Oh, my God.
[19:49]
Gustavo Cirola
Just Do a flat D20 roll for me, please.
[19:51]
Unknown
12, 12, 11.
[19:54]
John, we have to stop reaching like this.
[19:57]
Wait, so this is without our modifiers?
[19:59]
Chris Damaris
Just a straight D20. Okay, seven, roll off 16.
[20:04]
Unknown
16.
[20:05]
Chris Damaris
No, stop it.
[20:07]
Unknown
Stop pulling my leg. Eight.
[20:10]
Chris Damaris
17.
[20:11]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay, okay. So natty before 12. So we got nat for you guys. We have Natty, Tolv, Gunther, and Doug. You all look across the river of lava, and on the other side, you see a fellow member of the military chained to a craggy rock. He's screaming, and that's what draws your attention to him. And over him is Infernus, who seems to be torturing him. Really, really working him over. Wow. Between you and your comrade are a couple of Undarian minions who appear to be mocking you, waiting for you to come closer.
[20:47]
Chris Damaris
Is this like the beginning of a Dark Souls game where I'm supposed to die right now by fighting the big boss in furnace?
[20:52]
John Risinger
Yeah, yeah. I was going to say the person.
[20:54]
Unknown
We'Re looking for right here, I was.
[20:56]
About to say I was like that. Is that the name of the.
[20:59]
I think we went to Blockbuster and got a game with a save file already.
[21:04]
Gustavo Cirola
It's going to be a real short campaign. 3 just new game. Plus, it is actually the Yndarian's turn. Then after, the Yndarian minions will be Natty and then Tol.
[21:15]
Chris Damaris
Okay, so we are in combat.
[21:17]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. And for this little scenario here, we're going to be playing like you all have level 0 stats, so no modifiers. Correct. No modifiers on your rolls. You're just going to be doing straight D20 rolls. I love just a flat roll of the dice. You can have your base normal movement speed, and everyone's AC will be 10.
[21:36]
Unknown
Oh, Gus, I just want to make.
[21:38]
Chris Damaris
Sure you understand by doing that there's going to be no math. Are you okay with that?
[21:41]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, I'll have to make do. I'm going to open the calculator app on my laptop and I'll just crunch some numbers just for fun while we're doing that. Yeah. And your HP is the maximum of your hit ducks. So, for example, Doug, you have eight hit points. Gunther, you have 10. Natty, you have eight. And Tolv, you have 12.
[22:01]
Unknown
As the perks of being a barbarian.
[22:03]
Gustavo Cirola
Beefy between the four of you, I'll let you split it up as you like. You have a couple of items that the drill sergeant has shoved into your hands.
[22:12]
Unknown
Okay.
[22:13]
Gustavo Cirola
You have a 50 foot rope, a torch, a tinder box, and a water skin.
[22:18]
Chris Damaris
I'll take the route.
[22:19]
Unknown
Can I take the torch?
[22:22]
I'll take the tinder box.
[22:23]
Chris Damaris
Okay.
[22:23]
Unknown
Also, do we really have to split these items up? Or could, like, one of us just use them all in tandem?
[22:28]
Right. We shall each cut the rope into four pieces.
[22:33]
Chris Damaris
Yeah, give them all to Natty, and she's going to MacGyver this until I got a machine gun.
[22:36]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, that's up to you. I assumed you wanted to split them, but one person can have all of them if they want.
[22:40]
Chris Damaris
I like splitting them.
[22:41]
Unknown
Guys, I have an idea with the torch. I've always wanted to go to the Olympics.
[22:47]
Gustavo Cirola
You don't have your normal weapons? Like, these are the only items you have.
[22:51]
John Risinger
What about spells that we are able to cast? Are those not functional?
[22:55]
Gustavo Cirola
Good question. For the moment, they are currently not available.
[22:58]
Unknown
Gotcha.
[22:58]
Chris Damaris
No spells.
[22:59]
Gustavo Cirola
If you. Unless you find a scroll, for example.
[23:01]
Unknown
Okay, so this is a team. We really got to use our secret weapon. And then some of us could use our blonde.
[23:14]
Chris Damaris
Who?
[23:15]
Unknown
Scott's blonde.
[23:16]
I do not have a magic wand.
[23:19]
Chris Damaris
Did you wing your bwan or your bu.
[23:22]
Unknown
Okay, listen, that's the last time anybody's gonna make fun of my accent.
[23:26]
Don't make fun of Doug's speech impediment.
[23:29]
Chris Damaris
No, I don't. I think that. I think I love the way Doug speaks. That's why I want to mimic it.
[23:34]
Unknown
So does Doug.
[23:35]
Chris Damaris
I feel like then from a meta perspective, splitting up the items would give everybody something to have in their hand to do something with.
[23:43]
John Risinger
Yes, probably.
[23:43]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah.
[23:44]
Chris Damaris
So then Gunther has the water skin. We gave the frog the water.
[23:48]
John Risinger
I think that makes sense.
[23:49]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, sure. Okay, it is. The Undarian minions turn, and these are like small, devilish looking creatures with red skin, spine tails, and gaunt wings. They're pointing at you all and cackling, muttering to themselves. So there are three of the minions. One of them stays behind with the soldier and with Infernus, and two of them fly up to the opposite bank of the river from where you are, and they're like, beckoning you to come over. It is Natty's turn. As you survey the scene in front of you, you hear the sergeant yell, true leaders protect their privates. Get out there and save him.
[24:24]
Chris Damaris
Sir, yes, sir. Okay.
[24:28]
Gustavo Cirola
Why are you not saving him right now?
[24:30]
Unknown
Oh, I know. There's no need to yell.
[24:31]
Chris Damaris
I'm gonna need you to hold your britches for a second, sir. I'm on my way. So there is a lava river between us and the rock with our friend and Infernus. Is there any sort of land masses for us to traverse the lava, or is it a river of lava of some sort of length?
[24:48]
Gustavo Cirola
It's pretty wide directly in front of you. But if you look, you know, you survey the scene in Front of you. And you look slightly to your left and you see the river of lava kind of narrows down and there's land not too far away with what looks to be maybe what was the remnants of a dilapidated foundation of a building that you think you could probably jump over to fairly easily. It's probably only a three, four foot jump. Ooh.
[25:11]
Chris Damaris
And then the little andarians that you said they were flying, I think I caught. You say that?
[25:17]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, they have wings and they're kind of. The two that approached you that are just in the side of the river are flying.
[25:23]
Chris Damaris
How far are the ones that are flying that approached me from me right now from you?
[25:28]
Gustavo Cirola
And it's straight. We was talking straight line over the river of lava, probably about 30ft. Okay.
[25:32]
Chris Damaris
So as the Yndarian flies, it's about 40ft.
[25:35]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. And just for reference, it's undarian.
[25:37]
Chris Damaris
Undarian. Could I fashion a lasso out of the rope and attempt to grab an undarian?
[25:45]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh, I love this.
[25:46]
Unknown
I'd expect nothing less from you, cowgirl.
[25:51]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, why not just roll me a D20 and tell me what the number is?
[25:55]
Chris Damaris
17.
[25:56]
Gustavo Cirola
You decide you're going to try to fashion a lasso out of the rope. And Natty, have you done this before? Because it seems to come second nature to you. You know, just the perfect knot, just the right amount of slack to put into the rope and you easily build a lasso out of it.
[26:09]
Unknown
I feel like with Natty's costume, it looks like she should have a lasso already attached to a belt. It feels like it just fits.
[26:17]
Chris Damaris
Where I come from, if your mama didn't teach you how to do a proper knot in a rope, then your mama didn't teach you right.
[26:20]
Unknown
Oh, yeah. Rooting, tooting.
[26:26]
Gustavo Cirola
Just paint a picture for me. What do you want to do with this lasso?
[26:28]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. Natty would get to the edge of the lava river as close as possible. If there's any advancement I can make to shorten the distance between me and the Yundarian and then throw the lasso and try to get it around the Yundari. And if I do, there's probably some stuff I try to do with that.
[26:43]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah.
[26:44]
Chris Damaris
Also, Natty is just like humming to herself while she does this.
[26:48]
Gustavo Cirola
I'll tell you what, as you are building the lasso and start spinning it over your head, your feet, you kind of stumble a little bit and you look down and you see at your feet, for some reason there's an auto harp. Oh.
[27:00]
Chris Damaris
Oh.
[27:00]
Unknown
A what?
[27:01]
Chris Damaris
That's my auto harp. Right.
[27:02]
Gustavo Cirola
I don't know. Weird, right? Yeah.
[27:04]
Chris Damaris
Okay, well, I'd want to pick it up. Can I pick it up?
[27:07]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[27:07]
Chris Damaris
You can't just leave an autoharp on the ground next to a river of lava.
[27:11]
Unknown
No.
[27:11]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[27:12]
John Risinger
As this is happening, Doug goes over to Tolv and Gunther and goes, did.
[27:16]
Unknown
You just see Natty summon an auto harp by spinning a rope? I didn't think that was possible.
[27:21]
Very magical. What is.
[27:24]
What is an auto harp?
[27:25]
It's music.
[27:26]
Chris Damaris
An auto harp is. Imagine a harp that is. Has a hard back, like a guitar, as opposed to a harp being see through, like, with just string that you can, like, go through. And imagine it being small enough that I could hold it in my arms as I was, like, hugging it and then playing it with my other hand and picking it, like, almost like a banjo.
[27:44]
John Risinger
Oh, cute.
[27:45]
Chris Damaris
So it is a string instrument that is handheld.
[27:48]
Unknown
Neato.
[27:49]
Chris Damaris
You can sometimes have little picks on your fingers to play it.
[27:52]
John Risinger
I imagine her nails are long enough to be able to do that without picks.
[27:55]
Chris Damaris
Oh, yes. Yeah. I pick it up one hand with auto harp, one hand holding a rope, swing it overhead, and I toss it out at Undarian.
[28:03]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah. Growl that D20.
[28:04]
Unknown
That looks like sick album cover, I must say.
[28:07]
Chris Damaris
It is right next to a river of lava.
[28:10]
Gustavo Cirola
Yes.
[28:11]
John Risinger
With a bunch of, like, little demons.
[28:13]
Chris Damaris
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very different kind of country album.
[28:16]
John Risinger
I need. I need artwork of this immediately.
[28:19]
Gustavo Cirola
That is so cool.
[28:21]
Chris Damaris
Sixteen was my role.
[28:23]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, really good roles. I don't like it when the party does so well.
[28:26]
Chris Damaris
I know. It's these dice. I love these dice.
[28:29]
Gustavo Cirola
Your lasso closes around the closest Yndarian to you across the river, and it does, you know, fall a short distance to the ground under it, and it seems to be struggling to free itself.
[28:40]
Chris Damaris
Oh, by lassoing it. It fell a little bit.
[28:43]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. It's no longer flying. It is now on the ground opposite the river of lava.
[28:48]
Chris Damaris
Oh, okay. If I have any action available left, can I pull it, or am I done with my action?
[28:53]
Gustavo Cirola
Sure, why not? Let's just end this, give it a tug, and roll me a D20. You know, it's fighting against.
[28:58]
Unknown
Did you say give it a Doug?
[28:59]
Gustavo Cirola
Give it a Doug. Doug, it's not your turn yet.
[29:02]
Unknown
Okay, sorry.
[29:04]
He's excited.
[29:04]
Chris Damaris
I only rolled a 4 on that one, so I made you happy there, Gus.
[29:07]
Gustavo Cirola
I'm gonna roll with disadvantage to oppose you because the Yndarian is restrained. I rolled an 18 and a 2, so you actually. Even with the 4, you succeed.
[29:18]
John Risinger
Nice.
[29:19]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. I guess with one hand on the harp, I guess I would just start, like, twirling to, like, rope it in. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I just say, come here, honey. Give us a kiss. And pull it towards the lava.
[29:29]
Gustavo Cirola
You pull. The Yundarian that's struggling into the lava begins to thrashing about. The Yndarian screams and then vanishes beneath the river of lava unseen.
[29:41]
Chris Damaris
Okay. Then I would give, like, a whip of the rope to pull it back so it doesn't fully burn in the lava.
[29:46]
Gustavo Cirola
Got it. Okay. Is that it for Natty?
[29:49]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. And then I play a little chord on my harp.
[29:52]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh. Little flourish.
[29:53]
Chris Damaris
Yeah.
[29:54]
John Risinger
I want to say that Doug looks absolutely in, like, bewilderment over what Natty Wonder just did.
[30:01]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[30:02]
John Risinger
Like, if you picture those, like, sparkling anime eyes, that is what Doug looks like right now.
[30:21]
Gustavo Cirola
Next we have to. Then after to is Gunther told, it's your turn. The drill sergeant looks at Natty first and then says, excellent maneuver. However, it takes way too long. You told do it faster, faster, faster.
[30:36]
Unknown
Okay, here we go.
[30:39]
Gustavo Cirola
Yee haw.
[30:40]
Unknown
Natty, very good.
[30:43]
You had mentioned that some of the Undarians were working their way towards us. Like, how far away are they? Are they within, like, melee distance, or are they all over the lava river?
[30:53]
Chris Damaris
40Ft, I think.
[30:54]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. One is directly across the river of lava from you, which is 30ft away. And then another one stayed further back within furnace, and that's probably another 30ft beyond that. So 60ft total. Okay. As you're looking at them, sizing them up, Toll, you look down and see a warhammer on the ground at your feet.
[31:09]
Unknown
Hey, looky there. That's my favorite warhammer. Okay.
[31:14]
Gustavo Cirola
I pick it up.
[31:14]
Unknown
Did Natty do that too?
[31:17]
Natty, you are so gifted. This. This is amazing.
[31:22]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. It's not a mace. It's a warhammer.
[31:24]
Unknown
I kind of want to pull aggro, and I feel like a great way to do that would be to distract them with the torch. So I imagine if I'm not going to.
[31:34]
Gustavo Cirola
One minute left, son. Go.
[31:36]
Unknown
Oh, goodness, I'm sorry. So I guess I would run to.
[31:42]
The lava river and light the torch by dipping it into the fire.
[31:46]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay.
[31:47]
Unknown
And then I'd be waving around, and then probably so that I can connect to them heading towards that, like, land bridge area.
[31:54]
Gustavo Cirola
Sure.
[31:55]
Unknown
So that a I can start making my way so that I can cross over safely, but also see if I can get them to follow me down there with them.
[32:03]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Trying to bait them into it.
[32:05]
Chris Damaris
Jurassic Park Road flare.
[32:06]
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[32:07]
You who Follow me. Undarians do not look at friends. Look at Toves.
[32:16]
Gustavo Cirola
All right. Is there anything else you want to do there?
[32:18]
Unknown
Tol can't rage, right?
[32:21]
Gustavo Cirola
No. Okay.
[32:23]
Unknown
No, that is it. Is there any more goodies in the ground?
[32:27]
Gustavo Cirola
Roll a D20.
[32:28]
Unknown
Okay. 5.
[32:33]
Gustavo Cirola
No, you don't find anything else. However, you hear a very loud whistle blow from the sergeant, and he says, next, Gunther, you're up. Gunther in furnace. And then dark.
[32:45]
Unknown
Did any of the Yundarians move to follow or anything?
[32:48]
Gustavo Cirola
No, it's not their turn yet, so they can't move.
[32:50]
Unknown
And there's that separation where the cabin is reset with the river. And then how long is the distance of the river otherwise?
[32:57]
Gustavo Cirola
If you were going over there to the short area or just the area in front of you?
[33:01]
Unknown
Just the area in front of me.
[33:02]
Gustavo Cirola
It kind of has an upside down view there. So right in front of you, maybe 10ft.
[33:07]
Unknown
Okay. GUNTHER looks down to see if there's also any magic, magical things at his feet.
[33:12]
Gustavo Cirola
Good call, Gunther. There's a rapier and a shield at your feet.
[33:16]
Unknown
Lucky me.
[33:17]
Chris Damaris
But they're normal size.
[33:18]
Unknown
Can you pick them up?
[33:22]
Gustavo Cirola
You hear the sergeant yell, quit looking at your feet, son. One minute left. All right.
[33:27]
Unknown
Gunther grabs the sword and shield and then tries to jump across the river.
[33:33]
Gustavo Cirola
Whoa. Oh. Okay. Roll the D20.
[33:35]
Unknown
And wogs have the ability. Your long jump is 25ft. Oh, high jump is 15ft, with or without a running start. And I can do that once per short rest.
[33:46]
Gustavo Cirola
All right. Roll that D20.
[33:47]
Unknown
I believe in you, Gunther. Go get them.
[33:51]
Eleven.
[33:52]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, it's dicey. You jump, but maybe there's, like, a little bit of loose dirt under your feet, and you barely manage to land securely on the other side.
[34:00]
Unknown
And then how far? I guess that's 25. The full 25ft or whatever. How far are the Undarians from me at this point?
[34:07]
Gustavo Cirola
Was one right next to you? All right.
[34:10]
Unknown
Can I try and stab it?
[34:11]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Make an attack. Roll. Roll your D22.
[34:17]
Chris Damaris
Good start.
[34:20]
Unknown
Yeah.
[34:20]
Gustavo Cirola
The Undarian sees it coming and, you know, definitely dodges out of the way, evading your attack and starts laughing ugly.
[34:30]
Unknown
I failed you. I apologize.
[34:33]
Gustavo Cirola
The sergeant blows his whistle next. Oh, my God. But it's actually Infernus. Turn. Who's working over the other soldier on the other side of the river.
[34:46]
Chris Damaris
Can I ask real quick, what does Infernus look like? Just out of curiosity. Just want to know what we're. What we're angry at.
[34:52]
Unknown
I know.
[34:53]
What if he's, like, very unintimidating. He's Just a little guy.
[34:56]
Chris Damaris
He's a chef.
[34:59]
Gustavo Cirola
Infernus is a devilish humanoid with bloodshot red skin that glistens with a supernatural sheen. She towers over most creatures with vast leathery wings and a spiked tail. Her fanged mouth drips with molten lava, and her eyes are a deep blackness that matches only her blade of Netherlands.
[35:17]
Unknown
She's pretty cool.
[35:18]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Yeah. She looks over at you all, but kind of disregards you. Leans into the soldier she has held up and you hear her ask, where is the key to Hyrus Gates? And she's gonna go ahead and make an attack. Well, actually, no. She's gonna cast something and I'm gonna roll a D20. Don't worry about it.
[35:39]
Unknown
Should we not?
[35:40]
Yeah.
[35:41]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh. 10. The chained up soldier seems. His resolve seems to weaken. And you hear him feebly say, I don't know.
[35:50]
Barbara Dunkelman
I would tell you, but I don't.
[35:51]
Gustavo Cirola
Know where it is. All right, next. Doug.
[35:54]
Unknown
Well, okay, so.
[35:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Two minutes, son.
[35:58]
Unknown
Two minutes. Our time went up.
[35:59]
John Risinger
I think that's great, Doug.
[36:02]
Gustavo Cirola
You look down at your feet, following everyone else's lead, and you find something. You find a scroll.
[36:07]
Unknown
Ooh, could I pick it up?
[36:09]
A squirrel?
[36:09]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, you pick it up. It's a scroll of Firebolt.
[36:13]
Unknown
Ooh, the most delicious food. The squirrel.
[36:18]
John Risinger
Squirrel.
[36:19]
Gustavo Cirola
Squirrel.
[36:21]
Unknown
Well, based on my calculations, this seems like a bit of a simulation because we woke up and all of a sudden this is happening. It seems very unreal, but, you know, I'll play a little game here.
[36:32]
Gustavo Cirola
Game? Go secure your pride, Private son.
[36:35]
Unknown
Natty, could I borrow that rope from you?
[36:37]
Chris Damaris
Sure, honey.
[36:38]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, you get the rope.
[36:39]
John Risinger
Could I run over to where that little bridge is and try to cross it?
[36:44]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, just roll me a D20.
[36:46]
John Risinger
Okay.
[36:46]
Chris Damaris
The building.
[36:47]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, it's like a broken down building.
[36:49]
John Risinger
I say 12.
[36:50]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah. You easily hop across.
[36:55]
Unknown
I will save you.
[36:56]
John Risinger
Doug wants to take the rope and start swinging it and try to. To reach over to Infernus.
[37:03]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay.
[37:04]
John Risinger
And then I don't know if I need to make sure that that works before I try to cast my fire bolt.
[37:10]
Gustavo Cirola
What's the goal with the rope?
[37:11]
John Risinger
I want to light it on fire.
[37:13]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. Roll a D20.
[37:16]
John Risinger
15.
[37:16]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah. You toss it out perfectly.
[37:19]
John Risinger
And essentially, I wanted to hook it around in furnace.
[37:22]
Gustavo Cirola
Sure. Not as elegant as Natty, but you get it done.
[37:25]
Unknown
Just always touching.
[37:27]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[37:27]
John Risinger
And then I want to cast firebolts in that direction. So it also, like, attaches to the rope and goes around their neck.
[37:34]
Unknown
Very cool.
[37:36]
Gustavo Cirola
And what does Firebolt do?
[37:37]
Unknown
Firebolt Pearl.
[37:39]
John Risinger
A mote of fire at a creature or object within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 1d10. Fire damage. A flammable object hit by this spell ignites if it isn't being worn or carried, and the spell's damage increases by 1d10 when you reach fifth level.
[37:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, okay. Go ahead and make that ranged spell attack like it asked for.
[38:00]
John Risinger
Eight.
[38:01]
Unknown
Oh, no.
[38:01]
John Risinger
18. Sorry.
[38:02]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, 18. Oh, I just did it. Oh, yeah. I swear it was an 18th. Yeah. Your Firebolt flies true, striking Infernus. Roll your damage.
[38:12]
Unknown
7.
[38:13]
Gustavo Cirola
7 points of damage. Infernus growls and looks in your direction, Doug. Kneel before the Yndarian Overlord.
[38:22]
John Risinger
And do I still have any movement left?
[38:25]
Gustavo Cirola
We'll say you have 10 more, but.
[38:27]
John Risinger
They'Re still probably, what, 20ft away from me?
[38:30]
Gustavo Cirola
Something like that.
[38:30]
John Risinger
Okay, well, is the rope on fire?
[38:33]
Gustavo Cirola
Yes. The rope has burst into flames.
[38:36]
John Risinger
Okay, I want to pull it.
[38:38]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay, you are now pulling on a flaming rope.
[38:41]
John Risinger
Is it attached to Infernus?
[38:43]
Gustavo Cirola
Yes. Yeah, you did say that. Yeah. Make a straight. Just make a D20. Check. I'm gonna roll an opposed D20. 4. 13. Yeah. Infernus digs her feet in and holds strong against you. And with that, the sergeant blows his whistle. Next.
[38:59]
John Risinger
Oh, White.
[38:59]
Unknown
Oh, White.
[39:00]
Chris Damaris
Who else?
[39:01]
Gustavo Cirola
You know, as the whistle fades away, you hear like, a gurgling and a blurbling from the lava. And it seems like the lava river begins rising and expanding slowly engulfing more of the land around it.
[39:15]
Unknown
Blurble gurble to you, too.
[39:18]
Gustavo Cirola
Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. So let's roll a D20.
[39:22]
Chris Damaris
Roll it off my desk.
[39:23]
Gustavo Cirola
Wow.
[39:24]
Unknown
You wouldn't believe it.
[39:25]
I rolled a 18 11.
[39:29]
Gustavo Cirola
So I believe Natty is the only one who succeeded. Natty, you see the river of lava expanding in time, and you're able to step away from it. Everyone else, it kind of catches you by surprise and singes your feet and your boots a little bit. Everyone is going to take a little bit of damage from that. That's seven points of fire damage. Oh, for all of us except Natty.
[39:52]
John Risinger
Okay, well, I'm at 1 hp, like, right now.
[39:55]
Gustavo Cirola
All right. Nobody went down. Everybody's up.
[39:57]
Unknown
Yeah. Up and ready to go.
[40:00]
Chris Damaris
How much is Gunther ready to go?
[40:02]
Unknown
Three ready to go.
[40:03]
Chris Damaris
Three ready to go.
[40:06]
Gustavo Cirola
Listen, all you need in life is one ready to go. Anything above that is extra me ready to go. Take an inspiration. Die for that, Doug.
[40:17]
Unknown
Hey, you're gonna need it.
[40:19]
Also.
[40:19]
John Risinger
Am I pronouncing that right? Inferness.
[40:22]
Chris Damaris
Infernus.
[40:23]
Unknown
Infernus.
[40:24]
Chris Damaris
Infernus, who I am imagining looks like Tim Curry in Legend.
[40:29]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, that's probably a good comp.
[40:31]
Unknown
Very scary.
[40:32]
Chris Damaris
Just Google the Darkness, children. It's a 1980s Ridley Scott movie that no one saw.
[40:39]
Gustavo Cirola
The soldier who's chained up begins screaming, you know, looking at you all, help me, please. And then looks back at Infernus and says, I don't know where the key is. Okay, it's the Minions turn. We'll deal with the one that's closest to Gunther.
[40:56]
Unknown
I did not realize we were having disaster despicable Me crossover. What are you doing here, little yellow creature?
[41:06]
Gustavo Cirola
I hate it. I hate it.
[41:08]
John Risinger
All of a sudden, Tolv takes more damage.
[41:11]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, they're all going to focus on Tol for some reason.
[41:14]
Unknown
That was the point of me holding the torch.
[41:16]
Gustavo Cirola
Good. That's right.
[41:17]
Chris Damaris
That's right.
[41:18]
Gustavo Cirola
Well, the one next to Gunther is going to take an attack on Gunther. It rears back with its claw like it's gonna slash at you, but then at the last second, it spins around and its scorching tail whips out in your direction.
[41:31]
Chris Damaris
Ah, Fake out.
[41:32]
Unknown
Impress him.
[41:33]
Gustavo Cirola
It's AC 10, which I believe is a hit.
[41:38]
Chris Damaris
Yeah, we're all 10.
[41:38]
John Risinger
Because we're all 10. Right?
[41:40]
Unknown
Well, we all have 10.
[41:41]
Chris Damaris
All our AC is 10.
[41:42]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah, all of everyone's AC is 10. So that is a hit.
[41:45]
Unknown
Wait, with the shield.
[41:46]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh. Oh, right. You have a shield now. So it's 11.
[41:48]
Unknown
Dang.
[41:49]
Chris Damaris
You needed that.
[41:50]
John Risinger
It doesn't hit.
[41:51]
Unknown
That would be 12. The shields are plus two.
[41:52]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, to 12. I rolled a 10. Right? Seven. Plus three.
[41:55]
Chris Damaris
10.
[41:56]
Gustavo Cirola
I rolled a 10. Okay. Yeah. So the tail lashes out at you, and you would be toast. It would really get you. But you duck behind your shield, and the point of the tail sticks into the shield, and then it pulls it out. Oh, and hisses at you. There's one other Yundarian who's up by Infernus and the Soldier. I think they're going to see the dire straits that its friend is in, so it's going to fly down and join the fray as well.
[42:23]
Unknown
I love that band.
[42:25]
Gustavo Cirola
Doug's over there. Gunther's over there. T.O. and Natty are over there. Okay, I'm going to roll a D4. 1 and 2. It goes after Doug. 3 and 4. It goes after Gunther.
[42:35]
Unknown
I really hope it doesn't go after Doug.
[42:37]
Gustavo Cirola
That's a one. It goes after Doug.
[42:39]
Unknown
Oh, you shouldn't have said anything.
[42:42]
Gustavo Cirola
It makes a beeline straight for Doug and Winds up an attack with its claw and lashes out, hitting AC. That's a 17. So hits AC 20, which I assume is a hit.
[42:53]
Unknown
Let me do some math real quick. Okay. He'll heal it. Go.
[42:59]
Chris Damaris
What's the damage?
[43:00]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, I thought she was waiting for her to do the math.
[43:01]
John Risinger
No, we're at all 10 bros.
[43:05]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay, so it slashes out, doing two. Two points of slashing damage.
[43:09]
Unknown
Yeah.
[43:09]
John Risinger
I'm down.
[43:11]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, Doug, we hardly knew you. Barbara, do you go ahead and roll up a new character before your next turn? Natty, it's your turn.
[43:20]
John Risinger
All right, I'm now Elga Von Brath.
[43:23]
Gustavo Cirola
The sergeant gets up in your face, Natty. And screams, you have two soldiers to save. Now. Go, Go. Oh, no.
[43:31]
Chris Damaris
Oh, there's one chain.
[43:33]
Unknown
One of those.
[43:34]
Chris Damaris
How far am I from Doug?
[43:37]
Gustavo Cirola
Doug is directly across the river from you, but the river has risen a little bit. I'd say roughly. Doug's probably 15ft away.
[43:45]
Chris Damaris
Is Doug across the river or on that fallen building?
[43:48]
Gustavo Cirola
Doug is across the river. The fallen building kind of straddles the river, so Doug is on the other side.
[43:54]
Chris Damaris
Okay, I can shorten this question. Can I reach Doug?
[43:57]
Gustavo Cirola
And actually, that building is kind of submerged now since the river rose. If you jump across, you could reach Doug.
[44:03]
Chris Damaris
I would like to jump across or like.
[44:04]
Gustavo Cirola
What do you mean, reach?
[44:05]
Chris Damaris
To get to Doug to stabilize Doug.
[44:08]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah. What do you want to do? Make a jump or something?
[44:12]
Chris Damaris
Yes. Because I don't think there's anything else I can do.
[44:15]
Gustavo Cirola
You kind of steel yourself getting ready to make this jump, Natty. And you look down, and wouldn't you know it? There's two scrolls at your feet. Oh. Ooh.
[44:23]
Chris Damaris
I'm a raider.
[44:24]
Gustavo Cirola
You pick up a scroll of eldritch blast as well as a scroll of cure wounds.
[44:29]
Chris Damaris
Oh, well, which one should I use on Doug? Yeah, I want to jump to Doug.
[44:37]
Gustavo Cirola
All right. Roll a D20.
[44:38]
Unknown
It's like in a video game when you press the wrong button. So you just blast your teammate.
[44:43]
Chris Damaris
That's a 12.
[44:44]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay. Yeah. You jump across and land right by Doug.
[44:47]
Unknown
Yeah.
[44:47]
Chris Damaris
I gotta test to see if there's team damage.
[44:51]
John Risinger
I like to imagine Doug in his half death state, just sees this beautiful being just like soaring through the sky.
[44:59]
Chris Damaris
Jumping while playing her auto harp. And just being like, helps on the way. And I try to do a. Oh, I can. I was about to say I'll do a medicine check to stabilize, but I can do cure wounds. I'm going to do cure wounds on this. This berry bug. I got to look up Cure wounds.
[45:15]
John Risinger
Is it on your character sheet?
[45:17]
Chris Damaris
That's not an ability I have.
[45:18]
Gustavo Cirola
I think it's just a D. Roll the D8.
[45:20]
Chris Damaris
It's a scroll. That's baddie five.
[45:24]
Gustavo Cirola
All right, Doug, your eyes open? When did you start laying down?
[45:27]
Unknown
Sorry, I must have. I guess I was sleepy and I took a nap.
[45:32]
John Risinger
Am I okay?
[45:34]
Gustavo Cirola
You hear Sergeant Steel, I yell, which one of you is the medic? You, Maddie?
[45:39]
Chris Damaris
I guess today I am.
[45:41]
Gustavo Cirola
And then he blows his whistle.
[45:43]
Unknown
Next.
[45:45]
Chris Damaris
Discord hates it when you scream.
[45:49]
Unknown
Pretty sure Micah will, too, when he's editing this episode.
[45:52]
Gustavo Cirola
Luckily, you can see it in the waveform, but, yeah, my waveform go. It peaks when I do that. I try to lean back a little bit from the mic, but it's still a lot. It's told. And then Gunther. Who?
[46:02]
Unknown
Me? Okay, so I.
[46:06]
Last I checked, I was over by that house. Was I on the other. Am I on the other side?
[46:10]
Chris Damaris
Kind of close to where Douglas saying house and cabin. Where are you getting this from?
[46:14]
Gustavo Cirola
They're building, but yeah, yeah, yeah, you're still on the side of the river you started on. You haven't crossed. The drill sergeant looks at you tall, gives you a soft kick in the butt, and says, oh, what do I do with my slow privates? I kick my privates. And he kicks you again.
[46:30]
Unknown
How much damage?
[46:31]
Sounds like it hurts.
[46:33]
Gustavo Cirola
No, no damage. It's so masochistic.
[46:37]
Unknown
Okay. I still want to pull aggro, but I think at this point, Natty and Doug need my help. So I'm.
[46:45]
I'm going to do it. I'm going to jump the river.
[46:48]
Chris Damaris
There you go.
[46:49]
Gustavo Cirola
So roll that D20.
[46:51]
Unknown
Okay, here we go. S15.
[46:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. You easily jump across, and you land next to Doug and Natty.
[47:01]
Unknown
When I land, I don't quite believe it. My eyes are closed the whole time and.
[47:03]
Oh, I made it. I survived.
[47:06]
I think there was an earthquake. Oh, it's just 12.
[47:24]
Now. Do I have any more movement speed? Would I be able to make it to Infernus?
[47:29]
Gustavo Cirola
You wouldn't be able to get all the way over there. You could get over to where? Gunther and the Undarian. Well, actually, there's an Undarian bayou. There's an Yndarian. By Gunther. You can get to either of those. Or you could get maybe half the way over to Infernus.
[47:42]
Unknown
Gunther, you need help on that Yndarian.
[47:45]
I shall kill it or perish myself.
[47:47]
Okey dokey. Then I.
[47:49]
That I. Then I fight the other Yundarian, the.
[47:51]
Gustavo Cirola
One by you that took Doug down.
[47:53]
Unknown
Yeah. But before I do, I look at my feet. Any goodies?
[47:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, wouldn't you know it? It's like you have a sixth sense told there's a shield and some javelins.
[48:02]
Unknown
Oh, I got my shield.
[48:03]
Okay, well, then I'll equip that. So that's plus two to AC And I guess I'll stow the torch for now. And I'll have my hammer and my shield. And I'm going to attack my. The Umdarian.
[48:15]
Gustavo Cirola
Do it.
[48:16]
Unknown
Ooh, that's a two.
[48:18]
Gustavo Cirola
Believe it or not, that doesn't hit.
[48:22]
Unknown
In the spirit of competition, I wish you luck. Good job on your dodge, friend.
[48:37]
Chris Damaris
Didn't expect that.
[48:38]
Gustavo Cirola
Did you guys take an inspiration to that point? That was really good.
[48:42]
Unknown
Can I use that for my bad?
[48:43]
Gustavo Cirola
No, no, no. You got it. Because you missed.
[48:47]
Chris Damaris
That's funny.
[48:50]
Gustavo Cirola
Gunther, go.
[48:52]
Unknown
All right. Gunther wants to take another stab at stabbing the Yndarian.
[48:58]
Gustavo Cirola
Wouldn't you know it? You want to do that, but, you know, you lose your footing for just a second as you realize you stumble over a hunting trap that's at your feet.
[49:05]
Unknown
Like I stumble into a hunting trap.
[49:08]
Yeah, it's not set.
[49:11]
Chris Damaris
Gunther is split in two.
[49:14]
Unknown
I'll pick that up, but continue my stab.
[49:17]
Gustavo Cirola
Stab. Sure. Go for it. Roll that D20.
[49:19]
Unknown
That was a 4.
[49:22]
Gustavo Cirola
That. That's not enough.
[49:24]
Unknown
I shall. Paris, as I said before, I shall perish.
[49:30]
Chris Damaris
Oh, man. It's like watching Yoda on his bad day.
[49:34]
Unknown
Then, yeah, I guess that's. That's it.
[49:37]
Chris Damaris
Hey, y'all, whatever you do, don't help Gunther. He's got to learn this on his own.
[49:41]
Unknown
Well, he said something about viewing it on his own.
[49:43]
It won't, so I will only encourage him. You did your best, Gunther. You should be very proud.
[49:51]
I shall die without any honor.
[49:53]
That's the spirit.
[49:56]
He's not really listening.
[49:59]
Chris Damaris
The lava is just like, roaring, and we can barely hear him.
[50:02]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Up next is Infernus. Then after Infernus is Doug.
[50:06]
Chris Damaris
This will go well.
[50:07]
Gustavo Cirola
I like the juxtaposition between the names Infernus and Doug.
[50:11]
Unknown
Yeah, Doug.
[50:13]
Gustavo Cirola
Inferno Furnace, you know, looks back at you all, scowls, and leans over the chained up soldier, pulls out a blade and brings it down on him.
[50:25]
Unknown
Oh.
[50:25]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, no. I'm going to get roll with advantage to attack because the soldier is restrained. A two and a six. Really? Yes.
[50:33]
Unknown
You did your best in Furnace. You'll get them the next time.
[50:38]
Gustavo Cirola
It's a plus seven to hit, though, with two plus seven. Nine. I don't think that's a. Oh, no. With advantage. So six plus seven. 13. I'm pretty sure that's actually a hit.
[50:48]
Unknown
Why do you have modifiers in this simulation if we don't?
[50:51]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[50:52]
Unknown
What the heck?
[50:53]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, that hits.
[50:54]
Unknown
Oh, that seems unfair.
[50:55]
Gustavo Cirola
Infernus connects, doing four points of damage to the private who begins screaming in agony, keeps repeating, I told you, I don't know where the key is.
[51:09]
Unknown
I know where the key is.
[51:10]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh. Oh. What a bold maneuver. Infernus head whips around and her eyes narrow as she considers Gunther.
[51:19]
Unknown
Oh, I won't tell you.
[51:22]
Gustavo Cirola
She's gonna stay where she is for now, but she is looking directly at you now, Gunther.
[51:27]
Unknown
When she turned her head, was it like an owl? Where it's. The body remains, but the head just goes.
[51:33]
Gustavo Cirola
Not quite like that. Okay.
[51:34]
John Risinger
That would be extra creepy.
[51:35]
Chris Damaris
That would be very.
[51:36]
John Risinger
An already creepy person.
[51:38]
Unknown
Yeah.
[51:38]
Gustavo Cirola
So that's it for Infernus. Doug, it's your turn.
[51:41]
John Risinger
Could I see if I recognize this Private?
[51:44]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, that's a really good question. Yeah. Roll the D20.19. Ooh. Yeah. You recognize him. You think you met him before and you remember his name. It's Private parts. Oh, Jesus.
[52:00]
Unknown
Private parts.
[52:02]
Gustavo Cirola
The drill sergeant screams from across the river. Go save your private parts.
[52:07]
Chris Damaris
Don't touch them unless you ask for consent first.
[52:10]
Unknown
We're working on it.
[52:13]
John Risinger
Do I know, like, from our training, essentially, like, if Infernus has any vulnerabilities?
[52:20]
Gustavo Cirola
That's an excellent question. Well, roll me a D20.
[52:24]
Chris Damaris
Gus can be like you, remember? If you manage to cut her head off, she dies.
[52:28]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh. Out of 14.
[52:30]
Unknown
Bold strat.
[52:31]
Gustavo Cirola
You know, just. It's not necessarily from training, but just in general lore that Infernus is somewhat resistant to fire. Okay.
[52:40]
John Risinger
I would assume. Yeah. Because probably some type of, like, demon.
[52:43]
Gustavo Cirola
Thing, but, yeah, no necessarily weaknesses that you know. And this is really early in your training. This is like, you all have not been training very long at all, clearly. But you look down at your feet, Doug, and you find a couple of things. Oh, you find a hand axe and some tools.
[52:59]
John Risinger
Okay. Do you want. Do you know what kind of tools I find?
[53:02]
Gustavo Cirola
Just assorted wrenches and screwdrivers.
[53:05]
Chris Damaris
Okay, Gus. Sounds like me trying to name tools.
[53:08]
Gustavo Cirola
It's like one of those little leather aprons that you put, like, a bunch of tools in.
[53:11]
John Risinger
Do I still have the rope?
[53:13]
Gustavo Cirola
It is on fire on the other end.
[53:14]
John Risinger
Okay. Could I, like, kind of pull it in and step on it so it isn't on fire anymore?
[53:21]
Unknown
Sure.
[53:22]
John Risinger
And then I don't know if I'm allowed to do this or if it's like a bonus action. But could I toss the rope to private parts?
[53:27]
Gustavo Cirola
He's pretty far. But you could roll a D20 to try that, I guess.
[53:31]
John Risinger
Could I get closer?
[53:32]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, you gotta stand up first, which takes half your movement. Then if you want to get closer, there is an Yndarian still threatening you. So if you move beyond them, they will take an attack of opportunity. Opportunity on you. Oh, okay.
[53:43]
John Risinger
Well, I'll just stand up for now.
[53:45]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay.
[53:46]
John Risinger
And then I'll try to just toss the rope to the private.
[53:49]
Gustavo Cirola
Sure. Make a. We'll just roll 2013. Yeah. You're able to toss it successfully to the private.
[53:55]
Unknown
Grab a hold of this. Whoa, Private parts. Don't put it on your private parts though. Just in your private parts hands.
[54:04]
Gustavo Cirola
You see him struggle a little bit in the chains, and he does. You know, your throw was so true that, you know, he's able to. To easily grab it with his right hand.
[54:12]
John Risinger
Okay. Could I tell how he's chained up?
[54:14]
Gustavo Cirola
Seems like he's chained to a rock. Both his ankles and his wrists independently are chained to the rock.
[54:20]
Chris Damaris
Oh, like manacles.
[54:21]
Gustavo Cirola
How?
[54:21]
Unknown
We're just stretching him.
[54:23]
Gustavo Cirola
Each wrist isn't chained to each other. Just each wrist is chained to the rock.
[54:28]
Chris Damaris
That's what I mean. Is he like a spread eagled?
[54:32]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[54:33]
Chris Damaris
He's flying squirrel in the rock.
[54:35]
John Risinger
But he grabbed it with one of the hands.
[54:37]
Gustavo Cirola
Right. He doesn't have a lot of movement, but you threw it good enough for.
[54:40]
Chris Damaris
Just imagine private parts, like literally being like, you know, manacled to this rock. Spread eagle and just grabbing the rope with my hand going, thanks. As there's like a sword in his side.
[54:54]
John Risinger
Do I have like, in the tools that I found, any type of like lockpick or like wrench or like something small that might be able to pick a lock?
[55:03]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. You found there are lock picks in there.
[55:06]
John Risinger
Okay. I don't know if this is going to work. I'm avoiding getting close. Could I tie one of the lock picks to my end of the rope?
[55:12]
Unknown
Oh, and say private parts. All you have to do is drag the W in and you should have a lock pick.
[55:18]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, he's. He begins nodding enthusiastically. He can't pull yet because it's not his turn, but yeah, he seems like he heard you and acknowledged infernus.
[55:26]
Unknown
Cover your ears. Do not listen. Listen to this part.
[55:29]
I think a furnace is distracted by the frog.
[55:33]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Next. And with that, you once again hear the blurbling and blurbling of the lava. And once again, it begins rising. Everyone Make a dexterity saving throw.
[55:48]
Unknown
14.
[55:48]
Chris Damaris
That was a three this time.
[55:50]
John Risinger
Ooh, I also got a 14. I don't know if that makes it. I think I got something similar last time, and I didn't make it.
[55:55]
Unknown
11.
[55:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Well, luckily, 14 does make it. Only Natty and Gunther both fail.
[56:00]
Unknown
Oh, no.
[56:01]
Cool.
[56:01]
Gustavo Cirola
Doug and Tolv are able to see the river rising in time and step away, closing the distance to Infernus. However, Natty and Gunther do take, ooh, 12 points of fire damage.
[56:14]
John Risinger
You guys are probably down, aren't you?
[56:16]
Chris Damaris
I am a down.
[56:16]
Unknown
Just a bit. Just a bit.
[56:18]
Doug, this is not looking good for.
[56:21]
I feel so bad.
[56:22]
Gustavo Cirola
Your prophecy came true, Gunther.
[56:23]
Unknown
I died.
[56:25]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh.
[56:26]
Unknown
Natty saved me. And then I. I left. Hopeful Lava bait. I feel so bad.
[56:32]
Gustavo Cirola
All right, with that, it's Private Parts turn. He begins frantically pulling on the rope and manages to get the lockpicks over to him. I'm gonna roll a D20 to see if he's able to successfully grab them since he's restrained.
[56:46]
Unknown
Come on, Private Box. You can do it.
[56:49]
Gustavo Cirola
He rolled a one.
[56:51]
Unknown
Okay, never mind.
[56:53]
Could I give him my inspiration die?
[56:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Unfortunately not.
[56:57]
Chris Damaris
You can, actually.
[56:58]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, yeah, you can. That's right.
[57:00]
Chris Damaris
Our comment section has been yelling at that at us for, like, a while now that you can gift inspiration dice.
[57:06]
John Risinger
Oh, I would like to gift my inspiration die to Private Parts.
[57:09]
Unknown
Okay, Sign here, please.
[57:13]
Gustavo Cirola
All right. Private Parts is gonna take that. I always forget. Thank you for reminding me.
[57:17]
Chris Damaris
Do I give you inspiration dice for remembering that?
[57:19]
Gustavo Cirola
Sure. Go ahead and take one.
[57:20]
Chris Damaris
Yes.
[57:23]
Gustavo Cirola
This time he rolls a 19.
[57:25]
Chris Damaris
There you go.
[57:26]
Unknown
That's much better. Private Parts.
[57:29]
Gustavo Cirola
I was really hoping he rolled a one again.
[57:31]
Chris Damaris
I was fine either way.
[57:33]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. So he manages with his right hand to grab onto the lock free up from the rope, and he begins trying to use it to free himself. I'm gonna roll a D20 again, see if he's able to free himself. 18. Yeah.
[57:48]
Unknown
Let's go, Private, pal.
[57:49]
You are killing it, my friend.
[57:51]
Gustavo Cirola
You're gonna kill me.
[57:52]
Unknown
No, you're doing great. Keep it up.
[57:55]
Gustavo Cirola
So he's now freed himself, standing there next to Infernus. And now it is the Yndarian's turn. One is standing over Gunther where he fell, and the other is there by Doug and Tolv and Natty where she is down. The one over by Gunther is going to come over and support its friend by Tolv and Doug. Each of them is going to attack one of you. The first one takes a swipe. We'll do Doug. We'll do this alphabetically.
[58:25]
John Risinger
Natty healed me for five points, so does that mean I have six, or is it like, would I go down to zero and then.
[58:33]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, you went down to zero. So if she healed you for five, you're at five.
[58:36]
John Risinger
Okay.
[58:36]
Gustavo Cirola
And the first one takes a swipe at you. Doug with its claw hitting AC11.
[58:42]
John Risinger
Yeah, I would hit because I'm a 10.
[58:44]
Unknown
No.
[58:44]
Gustavo Cirola
All right.
[58:45]
Unknown
There's a lot of Doug to hit, so it's very easy to typically hit me.
[58:49]
Gustavo Cirola
The claw slashes at the meaty part of Doug doing two points of slashing damage.
[58:55]
Chris Damaris
It slashed his butt out.
[58:59]
Gustavo Cirola
The other Undarian minion closes onto Tol and lashes out with its tail, hitting AC11. Ooh.
[59:09]
Unknown
Nuke's very close, but no dice.
[59:12]
I'm a 12, right?
[59:13]
Gustavo Cirola
This is the same one that tried to attack Gunther earlier, and it hit Gunther's shield with the tail. And now it has happened again. The Yndarian looks at its tail and curses at it.
[59:23]
Unknown
My friend, you're having a bad day, but I promise it might get better.
[59:29]
Gustavo Cirola
All right, we got Natty. Natty roll a death saving throw.
[59:33]
Chris Damaris
18.
[59:34]
John Risinger
All right, let's go.
[59:35]
Gustavo Cirola
That's a positive. That's one good one. Tove, you are up.
[59:39]
Unknown
Okay.
[59:40]
Gustavo Cirola
And the sergeant once again whistles and says, two minutes, son. Go.
[59:43]
Unknown
Oh, goodness.
[59:44]
Okay, so that guy is close enough to me that if I were to run towards private parts, I would open myself to an attack of opportunity.
[59:53]
Gustavo Cirola
You would open to two, because there's two right there. One by Doug and one by you.
[59:57]
Unknown
Ooh, that's not good.
[60:00]
Okay, I feel like the point of this mission is to get that private out of there.
[60:05]
So I'm going to take real quick.
[60:07]
I'm going to check my feet.
[60:09]
You know the drill.
[60:10]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, yeah, right. Thank you. Let's see, Tol, you check your feet and you find a scroll. Oh, what says it's a scroll of cure wounds scroll.
[60:20]
Unknown
Look here. Wounds. Okay, guys, seriously, who's littering all over the place?
[60:25]
Gustavo Cirola
There's so much things.
[60:27]
Unknown
It's not good for the environment.
[60:31]
How far away am I? Is that a distance thing or do I need to be in a close proximity to the person that I would want to cast that on?
[60:38]
John Risinger
You need to touch them, right?
[60:39]
Gustavo Cirola
I believe you need to touch them, yes.
[60:40]
Unknown
Okay, I'm white by Natty if you want to throw it to me.
[60:43]
Oh, that's a great idea. Good job, dog. Can I make it tiny paper plane out of my scroll and toss it over to my friend Doug?
[60:51]
Gustavo Cirola
You all are pretty Close to each other. I'd say you could just hand it to Doug.
[60:53]
Unknown
Okay. But I make origami anyways because it's very fun.
[60:57]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay, you do that.
[60:58]
Unknown
Here you go. It's a crane. I'm waiting for feedback. Any notes?
[61:04]
It's very beautiful. Thank you, my friend. I wish it looked more like a.
[61:09]
Chris Damaris
Airplane to just hands over a crumpled piece of paper.
[61:14]
Unknown
Folded up.
[61:15]
Chris Damaris
It's the best.
[61:16]
Unknown
I am wearing mittens. It's very hard.
[61:19]
Chris Damaris
Okay.
[61:20]
Unknown
And then, even though I got these guys on me, I think I can kind of hold them back with my shield. I want to take one of my javelins and toss it at Infernus furnace.
[61:30]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Make that attack roll.
[61:33]
Unknown
Okay. I say, hey, Infernus catch 18.
[61:38]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, that hits.
[61:41]
Chris Damaris
Roll damage, dude.
[61:42]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, sorry. Oh.
[61:44]
Chris Damaris
Blaine was waiting for Gus to do something, and I'm like, dude, you roll damage. You did the hit.
[61:49]
John Risinger
We haven't played DND for so long.
[61:52]
Unknown
I was very excited.
[61:54]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, man.
[61:55]
Chris Damaris
Leave that blank space in there.
[61:57]
Gustavo Cirola
Micah, normally what happens in D is you roll an attack and if. If it's unsuccessful, you don't do anything. But if it's successful, you roll damage.
[62:05]
Unknown
That's new.
[62:06]
This new ST to be rolled D6.
[62:08]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, that's what it is.
[62:09]
Unknown
Okay.
[62:09]
Forward.
[62:10]
Gustavo Cirola
Ooh, yeah. The javelin flies to Infernus, hits her in the shoulder and sticking out. She pulls it out and turns her gaze from Gunther's body over to you and scowls.
[62:21]
Unknown
Oh, I scowl back. I give the meanest scowl I can summon.
[62:25]
John Risinger
I like to imagine when Tolv scowls, he's still smiling, like, so big.
[62:31]
Unknown
I can't help it. I'm just having great day with my friends in the lava pits.
[62:36]
Gustavo Cirola
Okay.
[62:37]
Unknown
I think that's pretty much all I can do. Cause I don't want to have an attack on top opportunity.
[62:41]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Actually, the sergeant blows his whistle and you'll next.
[62:45]
Unknown
Ow.
[62:46]
Gustavo Cirola
Doug, you are up.
[62:48]
John Risinger
Is it not in furnace this time?
[62:50]
Gustavo Cirola
Look at you. Yeah, you are correct. It is in furnace. I have my cursor on Infernus because I adjusted her for her hit points. And I looked below it. It's hot. Doug, look at you.
[62:58]
Unknown
Well, isn't it a great memory that requires maybe an inspiration die. That does.
[63:03]
Gustavo Cirola
And not this time.
[63:04]
Unknown
I seem so.
[63:05]
Chris Damaris
We're fishing for so many inspos.
[63:08]
Gustavo Cirola
Being real liberal with them here in episode one.
[63:10]
Unknown
No, Papa, please.
[63:13]
Gustavo Cirola
Infernus is going to fly straight to Gunther's body. Oh. And begins looking through all of his belongings.
[63:23]
John Risinger
He said he had the key or.
[63:25]
Chris Damaris
Knew where the key was. I thought she was gonna, like, eat Gunther or something.
[63:28]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah.
[63:29]
Unknown
Fried toad.
[63:30]
Gustavo Cirola
Can I speak? Uh, no, I think normally I give it to you, but I think, yeah, once you're down, you can't speak at all. Okay. Yeah. She goes through all your pockets and does not find the key. All shall fear me, the Sun Slayer, and tosses your body into the river of loss.
[63:50]
Unknown
I give a thumbs up as I.
[63:53]
Gustavo Cirola
As I go down, you take another 12 points of fire damage.
[63:57]
Unknown
What does that do? Do I. Am I dead?
[63:59]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah, you. Gunther disappears beneath the river of lava.
[64:02]
Unknown
This. Well, this is the saddest game of Frogger I have ever witnessed.
[64:09]
Think you mean Waggo.
[64:10]
Yes.
[64:12]
Gustavo Cirola
Doug, it's your turn.
[64:14]
Unknown
Okay. So obviously, God, we pay the fable and cast kill wounds on my Fueng Hill.
[64:20]
Gustavo Cirola
Natty not Gunther.
[64:22]
Unknown
I think it might be a little too late.
[64:25]
Again.
[64:26]
Chris Damaris
And it's a touch spell. So, like, Doug would have to reach into the lava. Ow. Roll the D8 for me.
[64:33]
John Risinger
It's only a four, but I'll take it.
[64:35]
Chris Damaris
Four.
[64:36]
Unknown
Zero.
[64:37]
There you go.
[64:38]
John Risinger
And then I. I guess that's probably the only thing I could do.
[64:41]
Gustavo Cirola
Well, what else? Do you have any other ideas?
[64:42]
Chris Damaris
Movement would do. Attack of opportunities. So it'd have to be like a bonus action.
[64:46]
John Risinger
Well, did I find anything else by my feet? I guess I should have asked.
[64:49]
Gustavo Cirola
No, that's it. Yeah. You look around your feet and you don't find anything. This time you all have cleaned up all the litter.
[64:53]
John Risinger
Okay. And previously you said I had a hand ax that I found, right?
[64:56]
Gustavo Cirola
Correct.
[64:57]
John Risinger
Okay. Could I swing my hand axe at the Udarian?
[65:01]
Gustavo Cirola
Sure.
[65:01]
John Risinger
Thirteen.
[65:02]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. It connects. Cool.
[65:05]
John Risinger
And that would do.
[65:06]
Unknown
It's a D6.6.
[65:09]
Gustavo Cirola
Oh, yeah. You pull out your hand ax. Yeah. And you strike true with it right between the eyes of the Yndarian. And it falls to the ground, unmoving.
[65:19]
Unknown
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you were a nice person amongst your group of friends.
[65:23]
Chris Damaris
That's gruesome.
[65:24]
Unknown
We lost two friends today, Gunther. And this.
[65:29]
John Risinger
Rest in peace, just for some. Also lore, Doug doesn't like killing. Like, he'll do it if he needs to, but he. He doesn't like it.
[65:39]
Unknown
I'm really loving Doug. This is great.
[65:40]
Doug, you're in the wrong career.
[65:42]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Line of work.
[65:45]
Unknown
I do what must be done.
[65:46]
Gustavo Cirola
That's it for Doug. Yeah. You hear the sergeant yell. Excellent work, Doug.
[65:50]
Unknown
Thank you, sir. I aim to please. Are we grated on the COVID at all?
[65:56]
Gustavo Cirola
As you ask that question, the ground begins shaking and the lava Begins rising yet again.
[66:01]
Chris Damaris
God dang it.
[66:02]
Gustavo Cirola
Everyone roll a dexterity saving throw.
[66:04]
Chris Damaris
Man, I need this 16.
[66:06]
John Risinger
Whee.
[66:08]
Unknown
I rolled a nine, but I might have to do an inspiration. Do I know if I fail that?
[66:12]
John Risinger
I think you did.
[66:13]
Gustavo Cirola
That's not a good roll. I'll say that.
[66:15]
Chris Damaris
Okay, I give my inspo to Doug.
[66:17]
John Risinger
Oh, you don't have to do that.
[66:18]
Unknown
I rolled a tin.
[66:19]
Chris Damaris
Now you're gonna. You're gonna be on the ground if I don't.
[66:22]
John Risinger
I know that's true. So are you giving me your inspiration die?
[66:24]
Chris Damaris
Yeah. Cause I rolled a 16. I think that.
[66:26]
John Risinger
Yeah.
[66:27]
Gustavo Cirola
And after your second roll, that was a 10 there, Blaine.
[66:30]
Unknown
Yeah, I rolled a 20. Wow.
[66:32]
Chris Damaris
Nat first. Nat.
[66:34]
Unknown
Wow.
[66:35]
Gustavo Cirola
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Pop.
[66:38]
Unknown
That's the sound of champagne. But it's alcohol free because we're family friendly here.
[66:43]
John Risinger
You can still say alcohol.
[66:44]
Unknown
Bleep that out, Micah.
[66:46]
Chris Damaris
Our entire first campaign was led with alcoholic drinks at the top.
[66:51]
Unknown
I forgot about that. Probably all of the alcohol.
[66:54]
Gustavo Cirola
So it's fitting you should do some kind of celebration, because you're about to go down 12 as you take nine points of fire damage from the lava that rises.
[67:04]
Unknown
Oh, no.
[67:05]
You're in good company.
[67:07]
I'm coming for you, Gunther.
[67:10]
Did you guys hear that?
[67:11]
Chris Damaris
Did I dive?
[67:14]
Gustavo Cirola
Like otters floating in the river. You, your body, and Gunther's body hold hands to keep close to each other. All right, it's Private Parts turn. Private Parts makes a beeline, tries to run over to you, Doug and Natty.
[67:30]
Chris Damaris
Beeline to the B team.
[67:31]
Gustavo Cirola
Yeah. Private Parts joins both of you, Natty and Doug. Sorry, I have to pause because I have to remember your new name.
[67:39]
John Risinger
Yeah, I mean, his first episode.
[67:41]
Gustavo Cirola
And he approaches you all and puts his arms around each of you and gives you both a big hug. Oh, thank you. I thought it was a goner for sure.
[67:50]
Unknown
We got you, Mr. Pouts. What's your first name, by the way?
[67:55]
Gustavo Cirola
Private. Private. Private Barts.
[67:57]
John Risinger
Private Pipes.
[67:59]
Unknown
I'm gonna have to have a talk with your parents. That's unfortunate.
[68:04]
Gustavo Cirola
And with that, there's a loud Ka. Chunk. You hear? And then a whoosh. And the sweltering heat and smoke subsides. The craggy cavern melts away, and all the lava vanishes into thin air. What's left is a barren warehouse made of iron instead of undarians. You see four young humans in blue military uniforms dusting themselves off, as well as the stout halfling Private Parts, who has sweat so much that his uniform is significantly darker blue than everyone else's.
[68:30]
Chris Damaris
He's hugging us.
[68:31]
Gustavo Cirola
The Bog Gnome Drill Sergeant steps forward to address you all. Well, I can honestly say in the 30 years I've been training recruits, I've never seen a team quite like yours. Not saying that's a good thing. You have a lot, and I mean a lot of rough spots to iron out. But I might see a minuscule possibility of slight potential in U4. One of the young humans steps forward with a furrowed brow that quickly changes to a cheerful smile. His green eyes furtively scan you four. I don't know, Drill Sergeant Steel Eye. They seemed all over the place to me. Rookie moves all the way through and.
[69:04]
Unknown
Talk about rusty and or non existent armaments.
[69:08]
Gustavo Cirola
I don't think the Mortalian material. Did I ask you for your opinion, Private Lassig? Well, no, but I think you mean no sir. Or did you recently get promoted to Lieutenant? Private Lassic straightens up at attention. No sir. Then get back in formation with a team until I say otherwise. Lassic salutes the sergeant and marches back to the other privates, but his eyes stare daggers at U4. The other three humans chuckle to themselves and one says, classic Lassic.
[69:34]
Unknown
Am I right?
[69:35]
Gustavo Cirola
Shut it mess. What were you even doing out there?
[69:38]
Chris Damaris
What are you talking about? It was brutal out there.
[69:40]
Gustavo Cirola
18 continues to bicker amongst themselves. Sergeant Steel eye rolls his eyes. Brutal. Anyway, as I was saying, I might be able to mold you four into something actually useful on the battlefield. But first I'm going to break you down into tiny pocket sized pieces and then I'll grind you into a pathetic powder and then I'll smash you to smithereens till there's no semblance of you left. Shut up you. If you survive all that, maybe, just maybe, you'll actually be soldiers. Welcome to Mortalian Boot Camp B Team. Or should I say brutality?
[70:35]
Unknown
Oh, that's pretty cool.
[70:37]
I have dishonored my family and my team. I am sorry.
[70:41]
Gustavo Cirola
That's it for this episode. Find out what happens to brutality in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We'll be back next week with an episode of Second Wind to talk about, you know, this episode about Campaign 3. And you know, we can definitely address how the gloves are off for player character deaths. And we're going to talk a little bit about how Death works for Campaign 3 in next week's second win. So make sure you check that out over on our Patreon patreon.com Stinky Dragon. All Patreon members get access to that. Until next time, stay Stinky friends.
[71:14]
Chris Damaris
New campaign.
[71:15]
Unknown
You can support us on Patreon.
[71:17]
John Risinger
It's really the only way we could make this show. So keep supporting us.
[71:21]
Gustavo Cirola
Yay.
[71:22]
Unknown
Please.
[71:22]
Gustavo Cirola
We need it. Bye.
[71:24]
Unknown
Also, what was oh great on that test?
[71:27]
Yeah.
[71:28]
Gustavo Cirola
New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday anywhere you stream podcasts and on the Tales from The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a patron at patreon.com stinkydragon or become a member of BeaconAneacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series, Second Win and a member only Discord for their designated platform. Become a patron, you get access to more exclusive bonus content, Stinky Dragon Community and Discord events and you get your name shouted out just like this Oblivion AKA Don Boratz, Jeeks Flamingo, Hannah Morton, Ahoy Bat One and David Spradley. Patrons that interact with us on the Stinky dragon. Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Drill SergeantSteel Eye, named by SergeantSteel82. Wonder where you got that name? Private Classic Lassic named by Dirk, voiced by Kerry Shawcross. Harry Shawcross. Check him out on Twitch. Private Mess Mess, named by Creative, voiced by Ash Ouellette. Private Private Parts is voiced by Ben Ernst. Elcionben this week's Arrow question was submitted by GhostGamer5210. This episode of Test from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Forget you not of who you be.
[73:04]
Unknown
The lady Barb and man of three your souls entwined with world untold by humorous his plans.
[73:31]
Gustavo Cirola
Welcome to Dunkin with Amex Gold.
[73:33]
John Risinger
You can get up to 84 back.
[73:34]
Gustavo Cirola
Annually at Dunkin locations. So your morning pick me up Can.
[73:37]
John Risinger
I have a medium iced coffee with.
[73:38]
Gustavo Cirola
One Tastes even better. That's the powerful backing of American Express enrollment Required terms apply. Learn more@americanexpress.com with AmEx when it comes.
[73:46]
Barbara Dunkelman
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