Martha Stewart (0:00)

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Thank you for calling Ameca Insurance. Hey, I was just in an accident. Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of. At Ameca, we understand understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Ameca empathy is our best policy. Hey there Critter podcast listeners. We have a special new membership service at Beacon TV where you get early access to all new podcast episodes including Critical Role. For the first time ever. Beacon members also get things like live event, pre sales, merch discounts, access to a private community discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown. Think of it as our digital Critical role land. Head on over to Beacon TV to check it out for yourself and start a seven day free trial. Thank you so much for your support for being a podcast listener and for being part of our community. Hey there Critters. We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Exandria, the Re Slayer's take. In this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Isylra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures here the Slayer's take as the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and reslay these supernatural threats as the RE Slayers take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams with the main cast including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux and Jasmine Shion. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early and uninterrupted by ads. Howdy ho, campers. It's game master Sam Riegel and you're listening to part two of this episode of wildemount Wildlings. So if you haven't checked out part one yet, pause this now and head over there first. In this three episode miniseries, we're following the antics of four angsty teen campers and their legendary counselors, Beauregard Lyonette and Yasha Nidorin, as an unexpected turn of events flings this this unlikely band of adventurers into a quest of a lifetime. New episodes of Wildemount Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6pm Pacific on Beacon, Twitch and YouTube, with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following Mondays at noon. If you want instant access to podcast content and an ad free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6pm Pacific on Thursdays. Plus you can also check out our Beacon exclusive show Critical Role Cooldown and experience the cast's post show reactions to each episode. Now let's wild out and jump into the much anticipated second half of this episode. Sam, wait. The listeners need their Part one recap. The kids of the Olga cabin search for Bo and Yasha, bargaining with Mishi, the curfew creature, to point them in Gub Gub's direction. The camper cabins have turned into a maze of yummy food that charms Padmin and Jessop to explore the maze. The kids accidentally fall into a pit of slowly rising magma, but their teamwork spells and items help them reach safety. Am I still under the effects of the previous mind altering? You really do like it in this place. There's nothing compelling you to go in a specific direction, but you really do like it here. Both of you do. Oh my God. Oh my go. This place is amazing. Yeah, I'm inclined to say that it's actually good, despite what we just went through. This is amazing. There's as much food as you can eat. We're hot on the tail of the Gub Gub. Can I. There's no bad explanation. Can you smack him? Can I smack him in his face and try to snap him out of it? Go ahead. Roll to hit. All right, it's an unarmed strike. That is a 16. I'm sure that hits 16 hits. Unarmed strike plus three. So it just deals two hit points of damage. Unless you're not trying to. I'm not trying. I'm just trying to snap them out of it. No damage done, but roll a wisdom save to see if you can sort of break the effects of this thing. Nat20. Yeah, easily enough that snaps you back to reality. This place is weird and gross. Any place that has food dripping off the ceiling is disgusting. This is not a good place. We almost just died. I know. That's what I've been trying to tell you this whole time. I need to get. I need to bring Jessup back. And I decide that I'm going to bring that. I'm going to remind her of a really funny thing that happened that time in Potions class with the kid who was trying to eat a pretzel and snort it at the same time. And we called it a schnorzel. A schnorzel. Do you remember how do we roll a wisdom saving throw to see if you can break? Do I remember it even without. We'll find out. A 4 6. I mean, it sounds familiar to you? Yeah, this sounds familiar, but it was hilarious. Yeah, it sounds like it would be quite fun. He snorted and there was a pretzel at the same time. This sounds like it would be really funny. And I do remember a pretzel at one point. Yeah, but this place is still really great. This is great. I mean, think of how good our gut health would be if we ate all of this kimchi. All right, we just gotta move on. We just gotta keep going, guys. We can snap her out of it later. Can I grab more? Absolutely. You can go ahead and take Jessup. No, no, we got health. All right, you're gonna eat. Okay. You gain four temporary hit points. Those also will heal you. I think that's how it works, actually. No, no, they don't. They're just. They just sit on top. They just sit on top of your wounds. Okay, great. Four temporary hit points that are sitting on top of your other. Did you have temporary hit points before you had three. I had three. Then you were damaged below. For how many? Three. Three. So you were back to even, and now you've got four. Four more temporary hit points. Amazing. I don't know. I'm normally very cautious about these things, but this seems great. Something's very wrong. Oh, yes, for sure. What would you guys like to do? There's another two tunnels ahead of you to the right and to the left. Do we hear the Gub Gub? Everybody roll a perception check. A 1910 plus perception plus two. 21. Kai, you definitely hear the gub Gub coming from the right. Okay, so I'm leaning towards the right here. I do hear a gub Gub right down there. You do? For sure. I don't hear anything. I got a six. Okay, great. Yeah, nothing for you. But Kai's sense of hearing is finely tuned for years of hiding in alleyways and listening for the police, trying to eavesdrop on people. Yeah. So you hear this coming down the right path. What would you guys like to do? I trust you. Yeah, it's up to you guys. Do you think we should go? I want to go right, but if you guys want to go left, I can't stop you. Left, right, right. That's what we've went left and then we went right, and now we're going right again. Yeah, if we find our way out of here, we're going to be. Glad I remembered that. All right, then it's settled. Let's go right. Okay, you go right. And sure enough, you can see an exit up ahead. You can see an exit up ahead. There's light at the end of this tunnel, but there is a man standing at the end of the tunnel, and he's just sitting there. A tall human in fine silken suit. He has a thick mustache, a briefcase, and he's looking very bothered. This is what he looks like. Amazing. And he's just at the edge there. He sort of looks like a businessman. And as you approach him, he says, well, what's the idea? You've interrupted my meeting. Do I see anyone else in the room with him? Nope. I drop kick him in the head. Great. Roll to full frog running sidekick. Right to the head. Go ahead and roll for a hit. This is unarmed strike, I assume? Yes. You know what? In that case, I'll actually use my quarter staff, I think. Okay, I see a businessman in a tunnel with no friends, talking about he's in a meeting. I kill him right away. Go ahead. Padmin almost just died and got woken up. He's in a bad place. I'm in a bad place right now. That's gonna be a 21 to hit for sure. It is. Great. And this is gonna be 1d8 plus 5. That's gonna be 8 points of damage to him. Oh, my God. Wow. As soon as he goes like, you've interrupted my meeting, which is just creepy. Twin. We're in an illusion. There's lava. It's a Twin Peaks vibe. If you're in hell getting tortured by demons and someone comes along and they're like, I'm here. For your project review. That's also a demon. Right? You gotta kill. And Padmen is just gonna go flying sidekick. You guys have never seen Padmin cause anything damage really before this. And his quarter staff whacks this guy straight in the nose. Which causes. It would have caused this guy's nose to bleed. But instead it sort of makes a hole in his face that disintegrates outward until all of him disintegrates and sort of fades away. I mean, I think you just killed a guy. No. That was an absolute demon illusion. I hated everything about. I'm not partial to businessmen under the best of circumstances. Let alone. As he disappears, a stack of invoices just sort of fall to the ground. And then those dissipate as well. Looks like those are going unpaid. And I blow the top of my quarter staff. That was incredible. All right, the way is clear. You can leave if you'd like to. There is yummy food all around you. Did watching this happen break the illusion for me? Roll again to see if you I can break free. Wow. I'm going to take a moment to actually feel the emotion of attacking this guy and be like, oh my God. Sometimes explosive, decisive violence without leaving any opening for trickery or malfeasance. Absolutely clears the way to a better world. I finally get what this camp is about. Padman, I would encourage you to reconsider that. No, that's the right lesson. Sorry. Absolutely. Rewarded. Honestly. They can't be 17. Okay. You are clear of your inclination to stay here. You all realize that this is definitely an illusion place. And it's probably best if you get out right now. Oh, no. This is so bad. I can't believe I ate all that fake kimchi. Do you feel anything in your stomach at all? Let's get out of here. Your imaginary gut bio was good. Remember the way out? Yeah, because we went left, Right? Right. Well, there is an exit. There's an exit in front of you. Or you could backtrack. It's up to you guys. Let's press on after the Gub. Gub. Yeah. Yeah. Let's press on. Okay. And press on you. Do you reach a door made out of peanut butter and jelly on white bread? It's so soft that you push right through it easily stepping out. The scents of pie and sugar fade away, replaced by the fresh air of freedom. Behind you, the maze shifts, its walls melting away, returning to its normal appearance as just a collection of cabins and tents. As if it never existed. Ahead of you, the faint sound of Gub Gub. Gup. Gub. Gub. Gub. Gup. Gub. And a familiar area of the camp to Padmond and Jessop. This is the magic meadow, which is a walled practice area for mages. You can look on the ground and see that those chicken and cat tracks are definitely leading in that direction. What would you like to do? Let's pursue. Yeah, let's keep going. As you follow the pause towards the meadow, we're going to pause and cut away to Bo and Yasha to find out what trouble they've gotten into or out of or even if they're still alive. We're back with Beau and Yasha. We're still here. I think I'm starting to lose my voice. Yes, you've been yelling for quite some time and only hearing your own voices echo back. It's getting warmer in here as well. It's very uncomfortable. But we do notice that the effects of this sort of cat dander poison are starting to wane. They're not gone yet, but they're starting to wane. Your vision is less blurry now, and you can start to see some features of the room that you didn't see before. Why don't you roll a perception check with disadvantage, please? Great. This is gonna go so well. Yeah, I did 16 plus stuff. Disadvantage. It was 14. I'm a disadvantage, right? Yes. 17. 20. Great. Both good rolls. Okay, both of you noticed there is a table not far away from you. What is this? What is this? Kitty. I was just here the whole time. You didn't see it before because you were so blurry and you were so panicky. But there's a table very close to you. You probably have to scoot your chairs over to it, but it's got. It's filled with strange, strange items. What was all this? It sure looks like it. There's a phallic symbol. There's some jewels. There's some strange old man candy. There's an empty jar. There's a scroll. The one thing that catches your eye, though, is. Is the swear jar. Yeah. What's the swear jar doing here? The swear jar from the camp that you recognize is sitting on the table, and it does have some money in it, but it also has something else that you might. Did you get it? Yeah. Oh. Oh. It says clue to help you escape. What? Babe? Who Can I. Let me see if I can use my teeth. Okay. Try to get it open with your teeth. The top bit. You got it. Grab it. Gonna have to work together here. Wait, I keep pulling. The string broke. You're gonna have to figure it out. Oh, no. This is happening. It went back in the jar. You can get this. I'm gonna get it all. You got it, babe. I'm sorry. I didn't expect that to happen. No, I also didn't expect there to be a jar with clue written on it. There's a note. There's a note. What's it say? Did you get it? I got it, I got it. Okay, let me see if I can get it open. The note reads, oh, oh, oh. Communication is the key. The full, the full text is in life and love. Communication is the key. Only your true feelings will set you free. Oh, I hate this bullshit. No, no, no. What in the therapy is this fresh hell? What are our true feelings, Bo? Do you have true feelings? No. I am a brick wall made of shit bricks. I don't, I don't have a heart, remember? But you do have a heart, Bo. You do. And that's what made me fall in love with you. Thanks. Cause you, you, you're a hard exterior, but on the inside you're just. You're soft and you're tender and you love people fiercely. I do. I love you. I love you. I mean, I don't know. For so long it was just like a front, you know what I mean? Like, it was. It felt like if I, if I, you know, if I showed that like people couldn't hurt me, then maybe they actually couldn't hurt me. If I was just unbothered by, by everything that makes sense to me, but it's really just out of insecurity and self doubt. I understand. I mean, sometimes I've been reading in my self help books that, you know, we do these things as survival techniques, you know, to keep ourselves alive in scary situations. And. Yeah, it's just a defense mechanism. Just as a defense mechanism. You know, I normally don't like self help books because I feel like, you know, how can one person really speak to a wide variety of everyone's experiences when they are just one single person with a very unique worldview? But I, I agree, but there, there's something there to that. Sometimes you can take. Learn something from it. Like, ah, I'm gonna throw this out there to communicate about something. What are we feeling about kids right now? You know? Cause maybe we need to talk about it, you know, now that we're here, we literally can't go anywhere. Yeah, no, I know, I know and I feel, I mean, I'm sure. Look, I'm not trying to come across as like, avoidant you know, or anything in the situation. It's. It's a big conversation. It is a big conversation. And, you know, we've been working so much, and Katelyn and I have been so busy, but, you know, I don't know, maybe I've deliberately been drowning myself in work because in a way, taking down a corrupt magocracy across an entire empire that has been slowly controlling a continent for the past 100 years somehow feels easier than raising a child. I mean, that's very relatable. Is it? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. You've been. No, Like, I feel it on a smaller scale. Like, sometimes I know that I'll need to wash the dishes, but instead I'll do, like, 10 other things. Yeah. To try and avoid doing the dishes. To try to avoid doing the dishes. Yeah. I mean, listen, I would never want to pressure you into anything. I don't even know how I feel about having children. But the thing is, we are getting older. Yeah. You know, I know, but sometimes I'm like, dude, do we add another kid in the world? But. But. But, I mean, you know, the world is so fucked, Right? The world is so fucked. So why would you want another kid in the world? But. But maybe. I don't know. I also feel like we do love the. That are in our lives and we love to take care of them. Yeah. And we love to be there for them. And I think we could provide shelter. Yeah, maybe that is. But it's the ultimate gift. I mean, I think if we did have a kid, I mean, I would hope they'd be cool and we would raise a good kid that could provide and leave the world better than they found it. Yes. But it also just feels like, you don't know. What if we have a kid and they turn out to be a total asshole? Yeah. Like a serial killer. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. And then you're like, well, shit, like, sometimes. And then I think about the fact, like, you know, my parents weren't great. My mom was despondent and my dad was judgmental and mine were dead. Yours were dead. Yeah. So it's like, my parents were assholes. Yeah. I was an asshole in response to that. My dad was a dick. So what if I just accidentally end up passing on that generational trauma? What if I can't do any better than what my parents did? I don't feel. I feel like he would do better. And I don't know if that's naive or Wishful thinking, but I feel like. I feel like we've done a lot of bad things. We've also done a lot of good things. Yeah. I mean, we could. We could certainly teach them plenty of what not to do kind of lessons. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a good way to do it. This is what you don't do. Just think of how good of an auntie Jester would be, too. Oh, my God. Caduceus Fun. The best. Just, you know, I don't know about the other thing. Like, Caleb's a little questionable, but. But I guess we are surrounded by a lot of great people. We wouldn't. We have support and, you know, everybody would step up and they would have a very large family that would love and care for them. I don't know. But I also go back and forth with, like. With what we do. Is it stupid? I mean, we're tied up right now. We are. Is it even safe to have a kid? We can barely even take care of ourselves in this moment in time. How are we supposed to. What if there's a fear of us walking away and turning our backs for, like, 30 seconds and then the kid does something stupid and like. Yes. Or we just die in a carriage. Or they die. Or they play with, like, Veth's explosives? I mean, this. I mean, it does feel like it's more stress than I would want. Now. I feel like I'm talking myself out of it. Well, wait. Wait a second. Wait a second. Okay. Cause, I mean, we made. We did dumb stuff as a kid. Yeah. You were raised by a crazy barbarian tribe and you lived. Yeah. I mean, honestly, it's a goddamn miracle that anyone makes it to be over 18 in this world. But, like, a Luke, he's almost there. Yeah, he's all right. We would get some breaks if we wanted. We could send him to the camp. I think that's that, too. You know, like, there's so many asshole parents, you know, where as soon as they have kids, they, like. They get weird and they don't have. They don't have friends anymore, you know? Yeah. They disappear. They disappear. So I wouldn't want to do that. No. I wouldn't want to make sure. And I don't want to. No. It's like, you got to adjust to our lives. Yeah. You know, like, what we do, and then you join in on it. Maybe we could still make sure we have, like, date nights. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have our date nights, of course, and then. But then have, you know, weekends where we bring the kid into our life. Yeah. Of adventure. Have fun. I think it's a part of life that would be really fun to explore with you. Beau. I think so too. I mean, we've. I think we've done almost every adventure that we possibly could have, except for that one. And I wouldn't want to do it with anybody else. Same the ropes are beginning to glow. Whatever you're doing, this honesty is it seems to be working. They haven't shed off yet, but they are bending, becoming weaker and weaker. And as they glow, brighter and brighter, we'll check back in with the Olgas and see what they're up to. What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get nine different answers. Will interest rates rise or fall? Will inflation go up or down? It's too difficult to predict. So the best thing you can do for your business is prepare for anything. And netsuite by Oracle is an incredible resource to help future proof your organization. Over 41,000 businesses are ready for what's next with NetSuite Ranked the 1 Cloud ERP, NetSuite can bring accounting, financial management, inventory, HR and more into one fluid platform with a unified business management suite. There's one source of truth giving you the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. 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Are they alive? Are they dead? Who knows? I don't even know. We haven't shot those scenes yet. But hoping that they're still alive, you pursue. You pursue the sounds of the Gub Gub, and you pursue it all the way to the Magic Meadow. Welcome to the Magic Meadow, where Arcana is the plana. Here the camp's sorcery and wizarding classes are taught. It's a courtyard of sorts, about 100ft in diameter, surrounded by tall stone walls with embossed anti magic runes. The runes ward against spells escaping the perimeter for safety. Basically, any magic cast inside the arena can't get out and vice versa. But it's not an empty arena. It's wooded with trees and bushes and small broken stone walls. There's even a small pond on one side. In fact, I'll show it to you right now. Let me go get the map. Oh, my God. This is huge. How do I carry this? Yeah, I got you. I don't know. No, I can do it. You got it. I think I can do it. Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Here, I'll get around over here. So heavy. Oh, my gosh. We did it. We did it. All right, so this is the wall that's going around it. You have to sort of picture that. It goes all around. You guys. You guys are. Oh, where's your Minis? Here's your Minis. Let's say that you have. You're entering from. From this area. Or at least you're up. You're up at the front gate. You can see through the front gate. These walls are pretty tall. You can see through the front gate at. What's going on in there? Everybody. Everybody roll a perception check to see. You also said that me and Jessop come here a lot. You've been here to train for magic? Yeah. Oh, and I guess you would have two sky since you only take wizard classes. Oh, yeah, I'm very familiar with this spot. Yes. Tell me your perception. I got a 12. Okay, great. 18. Great. 15. Okay. These are all good. All of you. Even though the sky is fading to dust, there's a lot to see. First off, the meadow is crawling with creatures, big and small, deranged looking beasts of various shapes and sizes wandering about the area. Beasts such as this possessed little bunny doll that looks like this. It's about 3ft tall, high. Its face is split in two. It's wagging a tongue with eyes. It has a huge toothy maw. So we're not gonna go toward that guy, Right? Okay, there's also. Where's this guy? This guy. This is called a Vikin. And it looks to be a half vampire, half werewolf creature with bat ears and wings and gnarled yellow claws. Okay. Okay. It smells of rotten flesh. It does. You can tell. There's also these two guys. They're two nice sharks, and one has a hat that's pretty awesome. They've got legs. They're sharks. They seem to be engrossed in the conversation about something that is really entertaining to them. They're smiling, they're having a great day. Wait, where did they go? Oh, there's one shark, but I think I've lost the other. We're gonna call these two the sharks. They're over here. You also see, with such a huge roll, this is the sonic scream. What? It's another entity. This is like Phantom Tollbooth crazy trip crazy. A translucent floating humanoid shape, humming. Its body seemingly made out of sound waves. Oh, that's much bigger than I pass. So we're gonna go toward that one? Yeah, we're gonna avoid the. Right. We're gonna not go to the entire area. Oh, yes, this one's very important. Where is he? Okay, this guy is right here. This guy. Where'd he go? Where'd he go? There he is. A human male in a suit sitting in a chair with a notebook, who keeps muttering, and how does that make you feel? And how does that make you feel? A therapist. You notice that his eyes are very creepy? This is what he looks like. We died in the lobby. Yeah, we died in the lobby. It just says book. This isn't real life anymore. He's even a real guy. He has a book that says book. Archibald was so lucky to meet him. That's all you can see. That's all you can see. Died right on time. That's all you can see right now. But even in the background, there are other sort of Creatures about that are flitting about. Did you guys see this last time you went here, or is this all brand new? I swear it's never looked like this before. Like everything else today, the site is truly surreal. And this motley crew of creatures is moving slowly as if on patrol, guarding against interlopers like yourself. Secondly, for the people who have been here before. Can you guys roll an insight check? 1821. Sadly, I thought it was a one, but it was a seven. Amazing. So the two of you having been here before, you guys know what this shed is in the middle? This is the enchant shed. It's an equipment shed for magical accoutrement. Wands, components, potions, scrolls, parchment. Normally it's locked with an arcane lock, but today it appears that someone or something has broken the lock, for the door is completely off its hinges, lying beside the shed. You also can see that these weird beasts seem to be moving in a slow circle around it, as if protecting it. And you also notice, just the two of you notice that they're not going near it, but they are encircling it. You also. Who rolled 17? I got an 18. Oh. 18. You observe and then leave it. Got a 21. Oh, that's right. Then you both observe that familiar gray sort of warping effect around the shed. It's pulsing and bending space subtly. It's a magical effect you're unfamiliar with or from a school of magic you haven't studied. But it definitely reminds you of what you've seen before. What would you like to do? You guys are hidden, watching from afar right now. What would you like to do? Do we have 10 minutes? I don't think so. I feel like curfew is drawing pretty near, so I think we should just make a run for the shed. All right, Wait a second. But if the shed is. The shed is doing the illusion thing, and so I would venture to say that the shed doesn't actually have what we want. Can we see something in the shed that is promising. Is there Roll a perception check to see how you're seven again? Yeah, I mean, it's kind of dark in there from this angle. I mean, I think Kai was suggesting the shed because we can see that there's a lot of monsters everywhere else. Our options are the shed. All of them are shifting over as they patrol in their circle. Okay, yes, they've all moved around. It's either the shed or the giant guy made of sound waves. So my vote is on the shed. Do we think there might be something past this wall. There's a wall that completely encircles this space. A magic me. Do we know what we might want to be trying to get out of this? I mean, you're just trying to find Yasha and Beau at this point, wherever they might have been. We're searching this area and the tracks lead here. The tracks definitely lead here. I mean, you can't really see inside the meadow, but the tracks have definitely led here. I have a little bell on me. I'm going to see if these creatures react to sound. So I'm going to take that bell and I'm going to toss it very far to the right. Very smart. You're gonna sort of hork it over the wall over in this area. Okay, roll a. Just roll an athletics. Check to see how far you hork it. Okay, let's see. Athletics. That would be a 13. Great. Sure enough, it sails over the wall, hits over here. The second it hits the sonic scream. That's his name. Where is his sheet? Okay. Turns towards it and darts at it, letting out a high pitched scream that you can probably hear for hundreds and hundreds of feet. And the area where the bell hit and went ding, ding, ding, sort of explodes with sonic energy. I look back at a little. That's probably not good. This is fucking crazy. This is absolutely fucking crazy. We need to run. We need to leave the camp. They're dead. They're dead. We're children. We're straight up kids. We're straight up kids. This is fucking nuts. I hate it. I don't wanna be here. That guy just blew up a bunch of fucking trees. Okay, so that's what I think. There. There's your buddy. Cockshit ass. It could just be an illusion, man. How long does it take to conjure up Archibald again? Give me 40 minutes. Okay. Oh, Lord. I'll get Archibald back in tent. I'll make an unseen serpent. We don't know if Yasha and Beau are currently being digested by the stomach juices inside the pig. We gotta act. It's been like at least 20 minutes. I mean, if the pig was gonna eat them. They're dead. They're straight up dead. They're dead. And I. All right, look. Oh, God. I will cast detect magic. Sure. Not as a ritual. I'll fast cast it. Oh, my God. To come in and get some magical aid. And I'll also cast. Whoa. Why are there more monsters? There were enough monsters. This guy's out there too, by the way. God. And I'll also cast unseen servant. So I'M gonna send a little invisible air elemental in there peering through the wall or through the gate with detect magic up to send it to interact with the shed to try to, if it's an illusion, try to dispel the illusion. Okay, Sorry. So you're detecting magic just on your surrounding area or you can. I have like 30ft of sight with detect magic. Sure. And then I'm sending an unseen servant to either go to the shed and bring magic. It's invisible, so I want to see if it can move past the creatures and try to retrieve things from the shed. Yes. If it doesn't make a sound or can't be seen, it drifts past, past everybody undetected. I will roll for. What's that guy? Who's that guy? That is the Viking, I think. Yeah. I'll just see if he senses anything. No, he rolled terribly. Nothing. The unseen servant sure enough gets right to the edge of the shed. There's an open door, and the unseen servant can go inside if you like him to or them. I'm going to mentally command it to start to gather items that are within its carrying capacity. Okay. And I will ask it to. I will ask it to return those objects to us. Okay. You can't see through its eyes or anything, so it's just grabbing random stuff. Just grab random stuff. Okay. Sure enough, it grabs a couple of items. Now, those items aren't invisible. No. So as it comes back, the two friendly sharks might see it. We don't know. We don't know. How are you gonna get it back? Are you gonna time it? Are you causing your distraction? Are you just going to go top speed? How are you getting stuff done as the friendly sharks get to be the ones that are going to be in the zone for us. Can I speak to the sharks from the gate? Sure you can. I'll see. I was like, I got to give little buddy the best chance possible to get that stuff back to us. And I'll just peek in over the gate and be like, yoo hoo, sharks. Oh, dear. Okay, the sharks hear you. Turn around. What are you doing? We're not in the meadow. We're not trespassing. The sharks turn to you and one of them, the larger one, the one on the right, says, what are you doing here? Well, I'll tell you what we're not doing. Trespassing in the badger meadow. Hi, my name's Pab and Paul and I am a camper here wild about wildlings. And I wanted to say that's one sharp looking chapeau my friend. That hat is as sharp as a tiny new pin. He looks surprised. No one's ever complimented him in quite this way. Thank you. Do not come near here. Far from it. I wouldn't dare be seen next to a hat that sharp, lest my own fashion look drab and compare comparison. My friend, you're one cool customer. And may I say, I've heard that sharks never stop swimming. And I gotta say, you never seem to stop styling. The other shark is now looking up at his friend's hat and sort of looking sad that he doesn't have one. But as you're talking to him, the items that the unseen servant are being brought sort of behind the sharks. Let's just see if the sharks manage to. You see them? No. And one of them sees the items, but only at the very end as they just pass through the gateway towards you. And it is confused by this. Where did that come from? Where did that come from? Beats me. Later, fellas. Okay. Your unseen servant comes back with quite a haul of items. Oh my God. What do we got? Okay. Are they labeled? Am I able to tell what they are? Yeah, let's just say yes. Otherwise, I need 40 minutes. Potion of healing. Jug of nasty lard. A spider pill. What does that do? And a box of tea. I'll look at them and I'll go. The potion of healing may heal a grievous injury. The jug of nasty lard, stinky lard that will make it hard to walk through an area if you spill it on the ground. A spider pill. This will make you able to walk on walls. Whoa. Like a spider. Okay, okay. And a box of tea. Oolong. Fragrant. The unseen servant hands over one more thing to you. It's a crumpled up and torn piece of paper that has. It looks like the imprint of a flower imprinted on it. And hands it to you. Also, this is one of Yasha's pressings. The flowers of the journal. Yes. You. You having studied the mighty Nein for many years, know that Yasha has a habit of pressing flowers into her journal. So there's a ripped page of that. What was that doing in the shed? Do you think? It means that they went that way? They must have been in. Either they're in the shed or they once or they were recently. Do we sense any type of the wavering gray thing on any of these items that have come back to us? No. They seem like. They seem like normal items. The trails led to here, right? They did, yes. The shark guys are just standing at the gate just sort of watching you. So it seems our unmoving only option is to go inside. That's our only lead, right? Well, that was my plan in the beginning. Yeah. But now there are two sharks looking at us, and the last time I tried to do something out of my comfort zone and less cautious, I fell into the hypnosis spell of the foods. So I'm actually not sure what to do here. The shark on the left says to you, do you think a bowler would make my head look nice? Well, actually, my friend Jessop is a very successful couturier. Yes. A haberdasher. A hattersmith. Yes, a hatsmith. So. Well, would you like us to fit you for a bowler? I mean, if you think it would fit my face shape. Well, it would be very becoming, it's true. Yeah, well, it depends because a hat matches a tie. So perhaps my friend sky here could help. Think about matching something. May we approach? May we? May we? You mean enter the gates? Well, I can't fit you front with a bolt. For a bowler. For a measurement, we need to measure you. It's a very quick question. We need to compare some swatches to your eye color and make sure it's. We're not supposed to let anyone through the gates. Well, we're not just anybody. In fact, my friends here are the best hat makers in all the lands. It's true. Let's go ahead and roll a. I guess a group persuasion check or a group deception check. You choose which one you roll and just tell me the number. Can I give the help action to Kai rather than rolling? Sure. Can you give the help action to Kai? So, Kai, you roll twice. I have. Okay, that's a nat 20. I have a nat 20. I got a nat 20. Yes, you did. Is it deception that we're going after if you're trying to deceive? Yes. Cause then it would be a 25. Damn, I got a 10. Not as good. But hearing the honeyed words of Kai and being indicated that you are one of the finest haberdashers in all of Exandria. The shark on the left looks to his friend with sort of like a seeking permission type of a face, which is hard for you to tell because it's a shark face. They're not very expressive. But the shark on the right, the one with the hat, says to him, I mean, you would look really good in a boulder. So the one on the left gently opens the gate and says, don't tell anyone we're doing this, but make it Quick. And don't. Please don't. Don't come in. We're not supposed to let anybody in. Maybe just step through, but don't go very far. All right. And he lowers his head for you to take the measurements. And I don't believe I have anything to take measurements with, so I do it with my hands. I've been doing this for so long, I'm so skilled that I know exactly the size of my hands as it compares to fabrics and bands. And so I'm just out of curiosity, do I have, like, an okay shaped head? Like, is it oblong or is it irregular? Dare I say the best shaped head I've ever seen. Really? Yes. And I've seen a lot of heads. If it's such a good shape, maybe I shouldn't cover it up with it. No, it is the best shape for a hat. Oh, I understand. Yeah. Yes. All right. And you know, we did leave the color swatches in that little shed over there. We'd better retrieve them. Yeah. All right. One second. We're really not supposed to let anything cheesy. You're gonna run for it. Yeah, because we got halfway right. We're in. Yeah, you're in there. All right, we're in there. You're going to make a dash for the shed. You've passed the shark. Let's see if either that weird half and half doll creature or this lichen can get to you first. Let's see here. I'm going to. Why don't you guys roll an athletics? A group athletics. Because you're not trying to be stealthy, right? You're just going, group athletics versus theirs. 22. 20. 22 as well. And do we add. Oh, we add athletics. That's a 2111. Damn. I'll just. You're. I'm like, scooping. Let's go. Okay. They rolled really well, but not that well. So they all. They're all chasing you. Who rolled the 10 11. 11, 11. Okay. So all of you make it through, except for Jessa. Oh, no. Right at the end. Right before at the threshold, Jessop is grabbed by half and half the strange, creepy half doll creature. And this creature is going to look at you with the eyes on its tongue, and it's going to attempt to hypnotize you. Roll a wisdom saving throw. It grabs you and goes. Listen to me. Through a plot plus 3, 17. You shake off the effects of the hypnosis, but it is still holding. It's holding you by the wrists. Would you like to try to break free Attack. Would anyone like to help? What would you like to do? You're punch it off. I'm going to punch it off. Okay. Where are you? Have we made it into the shed? You guys are just through the threshold. She is outside. Oh. So how far is she away from the. She's five feet away from you. Five feet. All right, in that case, I have. I'm taking out one of my daggers and I'm gonna toss it right at Great roll to see if you hit. Ooh, that's not good. I will cast gust also on the doll. Cause if I can push it back five feet, it'll break its grapple. Okay, great. That just happens, right? Gust. It's a strength saving throw. DC13. Okay. From the doll, it rolled a 7 minus 2, so it definitely fails that. What did you roll? So I have a nine right here. But what was it that I was rolling for? Was it just to see if you can hit? You rolled a nine. Are you throwing a dagger? I am. So that would be plus five to hit. Nine plus five? Yeah. Or was nine with the five. Let's see, let's see. Dagger. Dagger's on your first page, and it says it's a plus five to hit. So. So you take what you rolled. So that's a 14 that also hits. So in quick succession, the dagger strikes this doll and it's pushed back five feet. You can roll for damage from your dagger. That's 1d4 plus 3 damage. Which one is the 4? That's the pentagon. The pyramid looking one pyramid. This one. Oh, that's a 2 up there. 2 plus 3. That's 5 points of damage. How would you like to end its life? It only has five hit points. Oh, really? So I made it. Yep. Describe how this dagger cleaves this monster. Okay. So I toss it like this, and I look at it and I watch as the dagger just shreds through its eyeballs. Horrifying fluff. It's actually a doll, so cotton fluff is all over you. And then as soon as it explodes with this dagger strike, it's blown back five feet, releasing you. You're free to go. And this creature is almost upon you. What are you doing? I think I'm trying to run from. Okay, the Viken is going to. The Viking is also going to try to get one more attack at you. As you disappear inside, it's going to swipe its claw at you. It rolls a 15 plus 3 to hit. I think that hits. Ouch. And it causes four points of damage. Four points of damage. I had four temp did that. Your temp hit points are gone. The back of your leg is slightly bloodied. As you disappear inside the enchant shed and are gone out of sight, you notice that the other monsters have all sort of gathered around growling and snarling. One of them looks back, oh, that's you. One of them looks back to the sharks who look guilty and one of them is like it points to the other like he did it. They're very angry at each other, but they do not approach you inside this shed. You have made it to safety. And as you make it to safety inside the shed, we're gonna pause for one more time to check in on Beau and Yasha and we'll be right back. What makes a leader? It's a tough question, but this we know for sure. True leaders lead by example. They take risks and plunge into life with determination. And for real leaders, there's a symbol of high adrenaline and high achievement. The Range Rover Sport. 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Grab yourself a medium caramel, French vanilla or classic iced coffee for just $2.29. Beverage may cause craving for McMuffin or hash browns. Prices and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Oh my God. It's the coolest thing ever. Hey guys, have you heard of Gold Belly? Well check this out. It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic famous foods from restaurants across the anywhere nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. They ship Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls and even Ina Garten's famous cakes Seriously. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your Life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code gift. A breakthrough, possibly. Certainly some honest words among you. Yeah, the ropes are starting to glow. They're starting to get weaker and weaker, and you are feeling stronger and stronger. But before you have a chance to act a crisis, a huge, massive, lumbering pig creature walks into the room. This is Gub. Gub the flying pig. He's not flying right now. Right now, he's coming to eat you. He lumbers closer and closer to you, all tied up. Yes, you have got. He snaps his razor sharp pig teeth at you. But you have no more disadvantage anymore. You're healed. You need to roll for a dexterity save to see if you can. Come on. Dodge this. Come on, Bodi. Come on, Bodi. No. Terrible. Okay. Okay. You as well. All right. Come on, babe. I believe in you. Oh. Incredible. Yes. It was good. It was good. It was good. Three, which. Which is a plus eight. Damn. That is dexterity. Mine's not very high. We have a plus two. I roll 16. I will say that I'm gonna average these scores together because you are tied together as a unit. A couple, a married couple who's in this together. You both deftly dodge the monster's attack. He trips past you, knocking past the table, falling onto the. For a moment, he is out of it. He's disheveled. And the ropes. The ropes have finally started to fall away. Roll one more. Strength. Strength check to get out of this. We almost got it. We almost got it. The truest thing I can say is I fucking love you so much. I fucking love you. Do it again. Try it again. Wait, was this Dex? No. Wait. So you still have a plus eight. That was still high. That's okay. 14. Double 14. We did the double 14. We were so in sync, babe. We were so in sync. I mean, couldn't. Come on. That's amazing. That's a sign. That's amazing. Okay, both of you rolled incredibly. The ropes fall free. You're free of these ropes. Oh, my God. They're coming off. They're coming. Look at them going. He's falling. It's movie magic. It's movie magic. You're free. I love you. But don't hug for too long because Gub, Gub the flying pig is standing up ready to fight you. And just as it rears back, ready to attack. And I'm about to ask you to roll for initiative instead. A Giant door behind Gub Gub opens, revealing a nightmarish hellscape behind him. It's such a blinding light that. That you can't even really make out details. But what you do make out is the prongs of a fork, a huge fork flying in from this door and piercing through the stomach of Gub Gub, the flying pig. The fork jabs him and impales him all the way through. Blood pours out of his abdomen and he is pulled back into this bright, bright room behind him. It's completely decimated and defeated. From behind him in the room, you hear the sizzling of some sort of oil. You smell the smells of breakfast cooking, and you feel an overwhelming heat that hits you in the face. It's a nightmare out there. What are you gonna do? Do we hear the kids? Do we hear? Make a perception check, both of you. Let's do this. Okay. I want to love. Interesting. That's not too bad. Beau. You hear nothing but Yasha. Somehow in the distance, you hear the tiny, desperate voices of Padmund and Sky as they run into maybe into that room. You're not quite sure, but you hear an echoey voice, a voice coming from within. And you also hear a large scraping metal sound coming from within. I hear the children. They did it. They came to save us. They came to save us. They're so proud of us. Oh, my God. They're going to get their badges. Let's go save them. Let's go save them. Okay, let's go. And as you run off into the light, we will find out what you see after we go back to the Olgas and see what they're finding. To go. We're back. Okay. You run into the shed and are immediately taken aback by the size of it. From the outside, the enchant shed looks not much larger than an outhouse, but inside it's vast. Maybe 500 square feet of shelves, cabinets, cases, which usually hold a number of arcane items used to train wizards, sorcerers, warlocks. However, it appears most of the items have been ransacked, broken or smashed. It appears that something large has pounded through here and destroyed the entire area. You also notice that those beasts outside kind of are paying you no attention anymore. It's as if you're in an alternate dimension that no longer exists to them, but you're basically surrounded by a whole bunch of junk. Broken vials, potion bottles. Some boxes are intact, some magical items are still intact, but it's a bit of a mess in here. What would you like to do? Well, for One that wasn't the worst plan we've ever had. We pulled it off pretty well. I think I'm bleeding. Blue blood. Can we look and see if there's anything here that can heal her? Or is it. You have your health potion got from before. Could that help her? Yes, there's a potion of healing right here, I would say. Is anyone else injured? Well, I could use a top off, but I think we should save. I have four points of damage. You still have your full, full hp, though. I don't know if I. Cause you lost the four. Yeah, you're uninjured right now. Oh, oh, oh, I'm uninjured. Oh, I see. I see. Because you only lost your temperament, so maybe for the rest of us, just put a leaf on it. I know I've only taken three. My feet are badly burnt from the lava. Remember that happened. That happened less than 10 minutes ago. Yeah, I think I was burned by the lava too. Yeah. Maybe we can split this health potion between the three of us. Wow, it's crazy that I got little sippies on table. Little sippies? Yeah, just little sippies. Yeah, we could if we should. Are there other health potions in here or not? Look around. Let's see. That's all right, everybody roll an investigation check. Okay. Investigation. That is 1113 for me. Well, I actually also. Wait, I have detect magic up still. You sure do. So I'm gonna like Terminator scan for magic quickly enough. It's almost like you and Kai see it at the exact same time. There is another potion in here. This one's a big boy. This is a potion of greater healing. Oh, and also because Kai, you rolled so well. You also find. Let's see here. You also find this. A mask of X ray vision. A rare mask of X ray vision with potions of healing and greater healing. I realize that we don't know the condition that we're going to find Bo and Yasha in. We should hang on to that one then. Yeah, because we may find them unconscious and maybe should descend upon them to heal them. You know what I mean? It doesn't hurt too bad right now, so I'm okay not using it just to remind you too, Kai. One of the things that Yasha had said when she was. Or maybe it was Beau, was reading your file. I did steal a. You stole a health potion. And you actually have one in your inventory. I'm just going to hang onto it for now. Okay? I'm going to stock them up. Unless one of you guys. No, no, all good. All good. I'm okay to just keep pressing on because of your investigation was so high. You also see another one of those torn pages from Yasha's notebook that's lying on the floor across the room. So I'm going to pick that up. And as you pick it up, you realize it's caught on the hinge of a trapdoor on the floor of the shed. Is it dark down there? It's just a door right now. It's just a door right now. It's closed. It's closed. I'm gonna try to. What kind of door? What kind of door? Like those cellar doors. Okay, I'm gonna try to pull it open first. Okay. Locked. Okay, I got a little crowbar on me. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna try to put it down there and pry it open. Okay. Let's see what you got. You're trying to use brute force. Yeah. Roll a strength. Check. Okay. And then strength. Where would that be? 14. 14. The lock bends, doesn't quite break. But if you try it again, maybe it could. The noise from doing this does draw the attention from outside from these monsters who are now starting to curiously look in. It's as if they can't really see what's through the threshold, but hearing these strange noises, they're sort of drawn to it. Especially this guy. Oh, no, not that guy. Has an acute sense of hearing and is starting to poke his head in. He's not in there yet, but he's starting to sort of look and listen in. Well, who's stronger than me here? Not me. I can tell you that I'm extraordinarily strong. All right, have at it. I'm going to hand you crowbar. I take the crowbar. How are you so strong? Oh, I know how you're so strong. I take it and I go. I guess we all have our secrets. Maybe it's time I shared mine. A long time ago, when I first came to this camp, everyone made fun of me. The shrimpy little frog kid, good at magic. I remember the first time someone called me a loser. So one night when my pants were falling down because they were too big and my body produces a natural mucus that makes it hard to keep fabric pants on. I broke into the enchant shed because someone told me there was a belt in here. And this was the belt. And it makes me super struck. And then I. It's a belt of hill giant strength which grants him impossibly strong. I have a 21 strength. Yes, you do. So I'm going to get it in there. That's my secret. I stole a belt to keep my pants up. And later I found out I made me strong. Okay. Go ahead and roll for strength. Bad 4/5 is 9. It makes a loud. It's almost there. It hasn't quite broken yet. But that big old sonic monster is starting to peer in. One hand reaches through the threshold. The other reaches through the threshold and its sort of sound face is starting to enter the space with you. I know you don't like using your strength but you gotta crack this thing open for us right now. I also have an idea. While we're to distract him in the meantime, I think I know just the creature that would distract him. Using my minor illusion. Can I? Minor illusion? An Archibald that isn't real. Sure is to distract him. Crying Yes. A miniature frog appears. What? Towards the doorway? Yeah. Right in front of him. In front of our guy. The sonic scream monster looks curiously at this thing that's not making any noise. So you can't make. No. He's silent. No. It's just an image. So it sort of disregards it and looks back at you guys. All right. All right. I'll take me the crowbar. I'll try. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna try to bust it open. Okay. Are you raging? I. Well, my friend is in a lot of danger. You don't have to. There's no peer pressure. I'm just asking. No. I think I can do it on my own. Great. All right. Strength check. It's a 12 plus 2 is a 14 with the weak. They've weakened it enough that this last pull pops the lock. The door is free and open just as the sonic scream pulls back and releases a sonic blast at you. He's about to let it go. Who's going in? Who's going in first? Can I react to. I look at my friends. I look at sky opening the lock. I see the sonic scream about to unleash this blast. And I was. We can all get through the door in time. I don't want my friends to get hurt. Kind of look up at the sonic scream and go white. How much do they pay you to be here? I can make you a very wealthy man. The sonic scream does not seem to be swayed by the alluring swear jar. Come on. You don't even have clothes you can buy pants. I'll roll just to see if you can roll. A persuasion check with disadvantage. I never needed it more. Doesn't seem to understand the concept of money. Come on. Come on. Never needed this more. That's a two. He blasts all of you. Well, if anyone has jumped in, please let me know. Can I try one thing? Yes, so can I. I want to try infestation with a bunch of a ton of flies to swarm into his mouth in silence. I'll say that you could do that on the next move, but this is happening so quickly. He's going to blast. I'm already in there. Yeah, I opened the door and grabbed Kai and shoved him in there. Okay, I'll give you a little bit of an extra bonus, but I'll say that this is a sound based attack. So this the sound will reach your ears. Maybe it was slightly muffled because you're already partially down there. Everybody roll a wisdom saving throw. 18. Amazing. Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom. That is. You know what? 12. Because you guys were partially hidden or partially already in the hole. I'll say that you get a plus three to your because the sound has been muffled slightly. So what does that put you at? 9. 15. Okay. 8. Okay. Kai and Jessop, you both take seven points of psychic damage. Psychic damage? Uh huh. You're down. Oh no. That's all Kai's hit points. That's all your hit points? Yeah, I'm down. The two of you, you only take half. That's three points each and it is your go. I guess sky and Kai are down in whatever's below through this trapdoor. You two are still on top and you have gone unconscious and are falling right now. Grabbing Jessup, jumping down the hole and sealing the door behind me, all quite easily with your frog like jump. You guys are already down there. You guys land with a thud. Two of you knocked out, two of you still up, but alone in silence in the darkness inside what appears to be a long underground tunnel that winds before you with walls of cracked old faded yellow paper there that reminds you of skin and the distinct smell of sizzling bacon. Oh. The four of you may not be the most capable team in all of Exandria, but you got this far. At least two of you did. Can you get the rest of the way? Remains to be seen and we will pick that up next week when we come back to the Wildemount Wildlings conclusion. Until then, you guys are amazing. Thank you so much for playing tonight. We'll see you in camp for another session next Thursday. Is it Thursday yet? Bye. Bye. If you like the adventure you've been on so far, consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice. We're always looking for new campers to invite to camp Wildemount, and your review may just be the ticket to bring in a new batch of wayward would be adventurers. Thanks for checking back in on this adventure, and we'll see you soon this upcoming Thursday as we get ready for the next episode of Wildemount Wildlings. See you next time. If you've been having your McDonald's sausage McMuffin with an iced coffee from somewhere else, now is a great time to reconsider. In the Pacific Northwest, it's never too cold for an iced coffee in the morning. Grab yourself a medium caramel, French vanilla, or classic iced coffee for just $2.29. Warning beverage may cause craving for McMuffin or hash browns. Prices and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal.