
This one-shot is sponsored by Konami. Suikoden I&II HD Out Now! - https://bit.ly/CRSuikoden Adventure awaits at the White Deer Inn! Game Master Matthew Master leads players Ashley Johnson, Taliesin Jaffe, Arin Hanson, Zeno Robinson, and Zachery Renauldo through the Muse City of Dunan in a special Suikoden inspired one-shot! BEACON We’re excited to bring you even MORE with a Beacon membership! Start your 7-day free trial today at https://beacon.tv/join and get unparalleled access to the shows you love completely ad-free! You’ll receive NEW Beacon exclusive series, instant access to VODs & podcasts, live event pre-sales, merch discounts, & a private Discord. YOUTUBE MEMBERS / TWITCH SUBSCRIBERS Twitch Subscribers and YouTube Members gain instant access to VODs of our shows, moderated live chats, and custom emojis & badges: https://www.youtube.com/criticalrole/join https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole Art by Lap Pun Cheung || @lappuncheung Graphics by Christian Brown Want ...
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Barnaby
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Pips
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Barnaby
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Pips
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Narrator
Hey there critters. We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Exandria. The Re Slayer's Take in this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Issylra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures Here the Slayer's take as the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and reslay these supernatural threats as the reslayers take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux and Jasmine Shiong. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early and uninterrupted by ads. Hey there Critter Podcast listeners. We have a special new membership service at Beacon TV where you get early access to all new podcast episodes including Critical Role. For the first time ever, Beacon members also get things like live event presales, merch discounts, access to a private community, discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown. Think of it as our digital Critical Role Land. Head on over to Beacon TV to check it out for yourself and start a seven day free trial. Thank you so much for your support for being a podcast listener and for being a part of our community.
Teddy
Hi there, this is Taliesin Jaffe and welcome to the podcast version of the Critical Role Show. If you would like to watch the stream as it airs, you can tune in on Thursdays at 7pm Pacific at Twitch TV CriticalRole or at YouTube.com criticalrole. The video on demand versions are immediately available for our Twitch subscribers or on YouTube the following Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes are right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, one week after the initial broadcast. Now that you know all that, let's head into today's adventure.
Narrator
Hello everyone and welcome to tonight's fantastic one shot. In collaboration with our friends at Konami and inspired by the legendary Suikoden saga, Suikoden is a beloved RPG series that first captured Hearts nearly three decades ago in Japan. Oh my God, three decades. Not just in Japan. I played this in high school and now I love it. It's a really good series. And now these classic stories are being Reborn in stunning HD with Suikoden 1 and 2 HD remaster. With enhanced HD visuals, remastered sound effects, and improvements like Autosave Battle Fast Forward, there's really never been a better time to experience these legendary games for real.
Mabel
That's awesome.
Narrator
Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Like Suikoden 2 was like contraband for many years. I still have my original copy, but if you can't get that on ebay, which you shouldn't cause it's too expensive, get the HD Master, which is out right now for Xbox, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Nintendo Switch and Steam. You can learn more at Bit Ly crswikoden. That said, while you may recognize the places and characters explored tonight as inspired by elements from the Suikoden 1 & 2 HD Remastered game, we want to emphasize that the characters and events in this one shot are our own creations and are not official content from Suikoden 1 and 2 HD Remastered. They are simply inspired by it.
Mabel
But Konami, if you want some ideas.
Narrator
I mean, call me up. But thank you so much for Konami for sponsoring this one shot. And I guess let's go ahead and get this adventure going in the spirit of Suikoden. Once we introduce our players real fast. Here we have our usual CR players at the table. Taliesin Jaffe, hello, Nashley Johnson, and three new friends at the table, starting with Zeno Robinson over here on the left side of the table, Zach Ronaldo over here and Aaron Hansen. Thank you all so much for coming to me and a part of this. And let's go ahead and jump into. Thank you.
Zusari
Thank you.
Narrator
Let's take that energy into tonight's sweet green One shot.
Gremik
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Narrator
And welcome back. So, years of bloody conflict and tension throughout the Dunan region now shift toward an end. A recent ceasefire between the warring city states of Joustin and the Highland Kingdom trend towards a resolution and the populace is eager to return to a semblance of a normal life here in the lands of the Josten Alliance. The outer walls are lined with military outposts that hold their breath in hopes of a lasting armistice even with Highland forces still amassed on the borders, while rumors of the Highland mad Prince Luca Blight cruelly spread like ghost stories amongst the rank and file. Our story, however, calls us to the outskirts of Mew City, the largest city within the city states of Joustin and the center of trade and commerce. Or it would be if one had any potch in their pockets to spend. As it's here, along the scrub brush framed roads north of the Dunan Lake that a troupe of ragtag mercenaries wander beyond the city walls in search of better fortune. For times of peace spell more disparate income for those who walk a sellsword's path. And the recent rain hasn't helped you either. But pushed from the City of Coin, this motley pack of five wanderers head southeast in hopes of opportunity, a gray sky above threatening to reveal sunshine any moment as the raindrops bristle down, pattering onto your various heavy cloaks and hoods as you push down this dirt, rugged path through the open scrub fields here. Who is leading the troop in this direction? I'll say.
Pips
I mean, probably.
Mabel
Yeah.
Teddy
Age before beauty.
Narrator
All right, Taliesin, who do we see at the helm of this pack?
Teddy
Well, heading in the front. Are we on a cart, if I recall?
Narrator
You tell me. Are you on a cart or are you watching?
Mabel
We are on a cart.
Teddy
So driving the cart with everybody in the back is an older gentleman, mid-50s, but a fit mid-50s, little salt in the hair, well built. He doesn't need the cloak. It's invigorating to have a little water pouring on you, get the circulation up. He's wearing a sleeveless green tunic tied at the waist with simple green pants, nice boots. Then he's got his fists wrapped in old cloth and these nice metal steel bracers on either hand and a green piece of fabric tied around his head with a little gem in the center. He's clearly a fighter. He's well built, he's strong, but he's seen some better days. He's at the end of his rope. And this would be Teddy.
Narrator
Teddy.
Mabel
Crack.
Narrator
As one of the wheels of the wagon hits a heavy rock and it kicks up for a second. You have to catch the horses that are pulling the front a little bit for a minute. The rest of you jostle in the back of the sudden impact as it rights itself for a second.
Mabel
Hey, gem head, can you drive straight? Depends.
Teddy
Can you actually sit down and shut up?
Mabel
No.
Pips
Whoa.
Teddy
Then you're going to get what you're going to get.
Zusari
Are you all right, Sensei Theodore?
Narrator
It's just a rough road.
Teddy
I'm fine.
Narrator
Peeking out from the cart front to check in on Teddy here, who do we see?
Zusari
We see a young, looks about 16. He's got dark skin. He's got long, flowing dreadlocks. Everything about him seems to be flowing. He's got a pink hood on his tunic here, as well as a black underneath. And he's got a waist flowing. What is that? Like, what are these things? They look really cool. They look really cool, but it's not. I don't know if they can buy a waist cloth. They look really cool. And some sandals. He's currently got the hood up. He also has, as well, mirroring Sensei Theodore, a bandana, a pearl bandana with a gem in the center tied in exactly the same way. This is Zusari.
Narrator
Zusari. As you step back after checking on your master, you head back into the relatively cramped cart that you're all placed inside. There is nothing to care in here but yourselves and not a potch amongst you. But as you sit down, the first to Raise their voice loudly. Mabel. Who do we see there and what are they doing?
Mabel
Well, Mabel is a tiny elf woman. Big red hair, spiky hair, constant sarcastic grin on her face and just bushy eyebrows. She's got these boots that are cool and these shoulder pads that are cool. And she's also got a cloak that's pretty cool.
Zusari
Pretty cool.
Narrator
Not gonna lie. Not cool.
Mabel
That's so cool. And right beside her is this giant. I mean, it's basically as big as her. This hammer that's just sitting around. And she's always kind of, like, got it with her. You know, like, kind of like, oh, this is my friend. I'm never gonna let it go.
Narrator
You know what I'm saying?
Mabel
And she's like, are we there yet?
Teddy
Yes. Yes, we are. I'm actually just. I'm gonna keep driving. That's why we're just going right by it.
Mabel
For real?
Zusari
No, I don't think so.
Mabel
I think so.
Pips
No. Look how we're already fighting like a team.
Mabel
We spent like this the entire time. Actually, I figured it was weird because we were still going. I just wanted to know if we're close or whatever.
Teddy
Were there not enough snacks in the back? Well, there were no snacks in the back.
Mabel
There's no snacks. We are poor.
Narrator
Here, look. Overtip Pippi with her hand on her stomach. What do we see?
Pips
Pippi. Okay, you see Pippi Lamage, but she goes by Pips. She has reddish coppery hair and sort of fun buns with long braids also flowing out the bottom that sort of flit behind her whenever she moves. She's wearing sort of like little bloomer pants, but with combat boots with buckles. She's about 16. She's wearing her dad's big leather jacket and she grabbed running out the door. And a floppy leather patchwork hat. And she has grown up on a farm with her family, but dreams of seeing the world. And she's gone to school. Sorry.
Mabel
Yes.
Pips
And sort of grown up together. Maybe she has a crush. I don't know. I don't know.
Barnaby
Scandalous.
Pips
I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there. And met Barnaby over here a couple weeks ago and was just astonished by what a worldly traveler he was.
Narrator
Which, as you mentioned, how hungry you might be and someone as worldly as Barnaby. And you glance over to see if perhaps he has something to offer the conversation. Barnaby, if you wouldn't mind describing the final member of this fine troupe into the back corner of the card.
Barnaby
Of course.
Mabel
This guy's mask rules.
Barnaby
A huge helmet is donned onto a very lanky, skinny figure that is holding a huge amalgamation of different items on this huge pack. On his back, indented into the carriage's flower is this massive shield that is red, matches the rest of his armor. Kind of has this rusted look. And as he talks, his beard that kind of pokes out of his helmet kind of moves up and down.
Mabel
Yo, that's a beard.
Barnaby
Oh, yes, it is. What, you thought it was part of the helmet?
Mabel
I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I guess I wasn't really thinking about it, but what a.
Zusari
Magnificent beard it is.
Barnaby
I'm sorry.
Zusari
What a magnificent beard it is.
Mabel
Oh, thank you.
Barnaby
I groomed myself. You see that? Barnaby has his hands stuck into a finger trap and he goes pips. I have found myself to be stuck in a cursed item again.
Pips
Oh, okay. Well, the thing is, you just need to. You're gonna try to pull it out really quickly. You just have to do it slow.
Barnaby
You notice there are gnaw marks on it. I have tried biting it off. It has not worked.
Teddy
Yeah, how have you been trying to bite it off? I can't actually see this. Okay, that was my question.
Barnaby
That is true.
Pips
May I help?
Barnaby
Oh, absolutely.
Pips
All right. You just have to just like separate it really slow because I think you were kind of doing it with some stress.
Barnaby
Oh, I was very stressed.
Pips
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Barnaby
I thought it was eternal.
Pips
Oh, no.
Zusari
Well, put that thing away. It's cursed.
Mabel
You got a magic item on this freaking carry?
Barnaby
I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I'll put it back in the lead sack. I have for the rest of the ghost items.
Pips
Full of magic items, Mabel.
Barnaby
As long as you like. One.
Mabel
No. Keep that shit away from you.
Barnaby
All right. Well, hey, maybe if you need one at some point.
Narrator
What was that? All these different strange animal esque voices begin to call from one direction, then another, almost triangulating or surrounding the position of the current cart. In the midst of this darkened gray sky and the falling rain, you listen quietly and can hear sounds like small barks and the snapping of jaws and low snarls. Multitudes all seemingly finding their way through the scrub brush. You to the front there, Teddy. Glance off to one side and swear you see a shadow of a few things dart from one patch of low scrub covered hill. Dry brush.
Pips
Is it puppies?
Mabel
Sounds like a dog. Yeah.
Teddy
Everyone get ready. Everyone, I want you looking at different sides of the cart. To the right, to the left, behind.
Pips
Got it?
Mabel
Dib's on left okay, I'll check it.
Barnaby
I look behind, they're going to come from the sky. I don't.
Teddy
All right, your vision's kind of impaired.
Narrator
You just sit in sight.
Mabel
It is.
Barnaby
It's raining as well.
Narrator
Yeah.
Zusari
Prepare something amazing in one of your pouches.
Barnaby
Oh, don't you worry.
Mabel
None of that magic shit, though.
Barnaby
All right? Stay out of the bag.
Narrator
As suddenly, out of one of the nearby bushes, three of these massive dark shadow wolves dart out towards the front of your cart. First random encounter, guys, here we come down.
Mabel
Here it is. Wow, look at this.
Narrator
As three of these wolves dart down to the front here, we have you arranged in the front row and back row. This is a customized battle system based off the Suicoden combat system. So we will, at the top of this battle, roll for the order of how you maneuver in this. From each combat round, everyone roll a D20 and add your speed bonus to it.
Mabel
Speed bonus. That's a zero.
Zusari
I got a six.
Pips
All right.
Narrator
All right, so 20 to 15.
Teddy
21.
Barnaby
21.
Teddy
So grab your D12.
Narrator
Roll these off.
Barnaby
D23. 20.
Narrator
Okay.
Teddy
And six.
Mabel
Six. Okay, guys, roll again.
Pips
Roll again, roll again.
Teddy
Seven.
Mabel
One.
Narrator
All right, so Teddy is up first.
Barnaby
It does. It does.
Narrator
With Barnabas, Barney. Then 17, we have Mabel.
Teddy
Mabel.
Mabel
My name's Mabel, by the way. I don't know if I was clear about that.
Barnaby
You do that on the hour every time.
Mabel
What can I say? I want people to know it.
Pips
Eleven.
Narrator
Eleven. All right.
Zusari
I was six.
Narrator
Zasari.
Mabel
All right, Zasari.
Narrator
All right, Teddy, you're up first with Barnaby on deck. As these wolves all charge and surround the front of the cart. As you all jump down into the. Ready to defend yourself from the one mode of transportation you have to carry you all around. What do you got?
Teddy
All right, I'm heading to the left. Mabel right after. And I'm going into the. The guy in the front.
Mabel
Yeah. All right, right over here.
Narrator
This one?
Teddy
That one.
Narrator
This one here?
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
All right, go ahead and roll an attack. What is that? A2. A2 misses and is within the counter range of the shadow dog. So as you leap forward, fists striking outward, the wolf kind of jukes to one side. You stumble over a piece of the bush and kind of fall to one knee. As you do, the wolf leaps on to try and hit you. That is to only be a six, though. What's your evasion?
Teddy
My evasion is 13.
Narrator
Thirteen. That's a miss. So both of you kind of like. And both back up and get to your defensive positions, eyeing each other. Man, Versus beast.
Mabel
See, that's what happens when you're in a gym all day and you're not out on the battlefield having real battles.
Teddy
We're going to see how it goes for you.
Zusari
Sensei, are your boots tied? Remember to tie your boots.
Teddy
I'm going to go down, tie them while the bunch.
Narrator
Why are you doing that? Barnaby, you're up.
Barnaby
Oh, wonderful. I will grab my shield and I will sink it into the ground. May those who seek the wretchedness that is evil gaze upon this one item and I'll pull out this small boomerang and I go. All right. Well, I will throw it and does a 13 hit.
Narrator
13 does hit.
Barnaby
Yeah. As it goes past. Just wait and it'll come back and I will do.
Narrator
Which one would you like to strike?
Barnaby
None of them have been hit yet. Oops, sorry. I'll hit the back row. I'll hit the one for that row. You got it for four.
Narrator
No, sorry.
Barnaby
Eight.
Narrator
For eight points of damage.
Mabel
Get a hold of this guy.
Barnaby
Oh.
Narrator
It comes back a slight skim off the top. A little bit of fur kind of off of the wolf, but it still keeps all of its tail flickering there. Licks its front sharp teeth.
Barnaby
I did not expect it to live through that. I'll pick up the boomerang at my feet. Which did not make it to me.
Narrator
All right, that finishes your go. It is now the wolves go. This wolves is going to shift him to to the front row so it can attack next round. But the two on the sides are going to come forward. They can only attack your front row from where it stands. So the two that have come to the front of this battlefield likely at this point would be both Teddy and Mabel. So one's going to commit you, Teddy.
Teddy
Four.
Narrator
That's going to be a 14 to hit.
Teddy
14 to hit. Yeah. Evasion's 13. So it hits.
Narrator
That'll hit you take. It's going to be 16 points of.
Teddy
Damage reduced by seven. So that's nine points of damage.
Narrator
Take nine points of damage on that one. The one that's striking you, Mabel. Uh oh. That's gonna be an 11 to hit. What's your evasion?
Mabel
13.
Narrator
13. The second wolf leaps out towards you and you just kind of bat away with your hammer. It doesn't actually do any damage, but it knocks it off. Yo trajectory.
Mabel
Yo, back off, dude. See, that's how you do it.
Narrator
That finishes those wolves. Turn. Mabel, you're up with piss on down.
Mabel
All right, all right. I'll show you how it's done. I'M gonna go ahead and just whack this guy with my hammer.
Narrator
All right. The one that came after you.
Mabel
Oh, yeah, go for it.
Narrator
So go ahead and roll an attack. Roll a D20 and add your four. Four plus four. Yeah, four is within its counter range. So you go bring the hammer wide and slam it down hard. The ground kind of cracks at the impact, and the wolf just is hiding behind it and snoops around and lunges back at you in a transposition. That's going to be a 14 to hit.
Mabel
Oh, my God. Well, I'm at seven defense.
Narrator
All right, great. So that's gonna be 12 points of damage reduced by seven. So you take five points of damage off that as it counter strikes you from that blow. That finishes your turn.
Mabel
Oh, I'm just warming up. I'm just warming up.
Teddy
Yeah, that's what they all say.
Pips
All right, I'm gonna peek up over Mabel, and I'm gonna pull out my bow, which is made of twigs and branches, and I'm gonna take a shot.
Narrator
All right, which of the wolves are you firing at?
Pips
Let's do. Let's do the middle one.
Narrator
Middle one. Middle one's the only one that's been hurt so far, so go for it.
Pips
Oh, great. Okay, roll an attack. Unroll this one. Okay, so let's see. Oh, 17.
Narrator
17 hits. Yes.
Mabel
Good.
Narrator
Roll damage.
Pips
All right, so we've got.
Narrator
Look at this.
Mabel
How old did you say you were?
Pips
I'm 16.
Mabel
Holy moly.
Pips
Okay, so we've got. Okay, 10 plus 8. 18.
Narrator
18 points of damage. Release the arrow. It snaps inside of its shoulder and falls to one ground and gets back up. It's kind of limping a little on that side. That one's looking like it's a little hurt. The other two untouched.
Zusari
At this point, your training is paying off.
Pips
It is. I can see it. I can feel it.
Mabel
Where'd you learn to shoot like that?
Pips
My dad.
Mabel
It seemed like you were unsure about that.
Pips
Well, maybe I've had some other training that I'm not gonna talk about right now.
Mabel
Okay.
Zusari
He was a great marksman, her father.
Mabel
Okay. I trust you implicitly right now in this fight.
Pips
I also do a lot of hunting.
Mabel
All right.
Pips
This isn't my first time.
Mabel
Okay, I got the picture. There's something you're hiding.
Narrator
Sorry.
Mabel
We got Shiggly Dog.
Zusari
I'm gonna attack the one. I'm gonna follow up. Pips attack and hit the one right there in the center. I have these two tonfas. I'm gonna pull those out and get A little one, two in there.
Narrator
Heck, yeah. Go for it. You leap forward.
Zusari
Yes. 16.
Narrator
16 hits damage.
Zusari
And that is 13.
Narrator
13 points of damage. And that it's looking really hurt. And it's starting to maybe back up a little bit. And it's barely holding all the other two wolves who are untouched and ready to flare out in anger at any of you who are front row. That finishes your go. Top of the round. Teddy, you're up with Barnaby on deck.
Teddy
You want to try something out for this right now?
Zusari
Yes.
Teddy
All right, we're going to soldier storm. Remember this move?
Mabel
Yes.
Narrator
Yes. We're going to do a move. All right, so you're holding out for your unite.
Teddy
I was. Oh, since I was up. Yeah, I figured.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
All right, so you're holding your turn to do unite attack with.
Zusari
On my turn.
Narrator
Oh, we're going to come back around. Okay, so you're kind of now backing over Towardsari, and you're both kind of communicating some tactical statistics here as we practice. Got it. While you're doing that, Barnaby, you're up.
Barnaby
Yes. All right, I guess I'll just swing at. Since they're gonna do so much damage, I'm gonna assume I'm gonna try to weaken one of them. So I'll do the one in front of Mabel then.
Narrator
Right there. Yeah, go for it. Yeah.
Teddy
Yeah.
Mabel
All right. Hey, don't take my guy.
Barnaby
Oh, don't worry. You missed. All right, so that is a 14.
Narrator
14. Yeah.
Barnaby
As I like. Sideways, like, literally impact from and break the sound very slowly.
Narrator
Mabel, don't worry.
Barnaby
Just watch this one. I'll swear and I will hit it for 13 damage.
Narrator
13 points of damage. A nice heavy strike to the side. It cuts through one of the legs, and you watch as it kind of buckles and tumbles and spins a bit, catching itself in the mud that kind of cakes to the back of its fur. Please come back.
Barnaby
Please come back.
Narrator
Please come back.
Barnaby
In between my hand.
Narrator
It swings back and you catch it in the air. Kind of hurts your fingers a little bit.
Barnaby
Oh, so much. Yes.
Mabel
Oh.
Narrator
All right. That finishes your go.
Mabel
That was kind of sick, but don't undermine me, okay?
Barnaby
All right, no problem.
Zusari
Good throw, Barnaby. Oh, what a great boomerang you have.
Barnaby
Thank you.
Mabel
Thank you.
Barnaby
It is made of wood.
Narrator
All three wolves, I'll lunge out towards you. It's gonna be one to each of you. So to Zusari, that's a natural 20. Chris on that one. Oh, that's gonna be 1734 points of damage, minus 8, minus 8. As the wolf leaps onto your torso and pushes you into the mud beneath and gets a heavy bite onto the side of your neck and shoulder and tears into you, like snarling. The one that's coming after you, Teddy, that's going to be a natural four. I don't know what your counter is.
Teddy
My counter? Well, my counter is two, so that.
Narrator
Doesn'T matter, but it still misses you. Yeah, and then the one that's attacking you, Mabel, that's gonna be a 10 to hit, which I think misses you.
Mabel
Of course it does.
Narrator
Ducking it out of the way. Wolf's turn's done. Mabel, you're up with Pips on deck.
Mabel
All right, all right, let's just do another whack at the. Wait a second. Hold on, Pip. You know, we got a full. We got a full row here and. I know, I know you know that Elven ambush situation.
Pips
You better believe it.
Mabel
Let's do it.
Pips
Let's go.
Narrator
All right, so you're both using your knight attack for Elvenbush.
Mabel
That's right.
Narrator
Let's go. All right, so both of you guys roll attacks.
Pips
Okay?
Narrator
See who gets the higher one.
Mabel
Three.
Pips
This is capped.
Narrator
Oh, five plus.
Pips
So there was one that was like, almost a 16. Okay, nine.
Narrator
A nine.
Barnaby
So seven.
Mabel
Seven.
Narrator
Yeah. Okay, so we'll take the nine for that. Nine is exactly the Shadow Dog's evasion. So you do manage to succeed on this by the skinnier teeth.
Mabel
That's right. That's that Elven magic.
Pips
Yeah.
Mabel
No, it's not magic.
Pips
Yes, it is.
Mabel
No, it's Elven.
Barnaby
Oh, you're going around.
Narrator
No.
Barnaby
Oh, all right.
Mabel
I'm just using colloquialisms. Okay.
Narrator
All right, so go ahead and roll your separate damages for that ability.
Pips
Yeah, where do I keep.
Zusari
Okay, 7 and a 2.
Barnaby
4.
Pips
7. Okay, 15.
Narrator
11. 15.
Teddy
Wait, where is it? 7, 2 and 11 if it's weapon damage.
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
7.
Teddy
2 plus 11.
Mabel
72 plus 11.
Narrator
Okay, so that's 21 on, so 20, 20. And.
Pips
What did I say? Shit, let's see. I said I rolled a three, a four, seven plus eight. 15.
Narrator
So 15, 20. That's 35 points of damage to this entire row. Describe me how you guys combine your attacks here for the Elven ambush.
Mabel
Dude, it's crazy. You start and I'll finish.
Pips
As Mabel takes a swing, I sort of take out my bow. And as she settles, I kind of, like, get the arrow sort of right on her shoulder to, like, take aim as she's, like, kind of moving. And where she takes a shot, I Just let it go.
Mabel
Yeah.
Barnaby
And then.
Mabel
And then the bow is like exiting the. I mean, the arrows exiting the bow. And then I just go wham. And I hit the arrow on the back and it goes even faster right through all of them. So as you.
Narrator
As you turn on, so you come on the side, you fire the arrow here and you full auto and batter up. Hit the arrow. It just carves through all three of them. The two on the sides as it literally goes through them. Kind of fall and look over like, what the hell just happened?
Mabel
Their jaws kind of fall into the bleachers thing.
Narrator
The one in the center, however, is rent.
Mabel
That's right.
Narrator
Unconscious.
Mabel
Yeah, dude.
Pips
Elven magic.
Mabel
Elven power.
Barnaby
Elven strength coming around.
Mabel
Elven magic.
Zusari
All right, we'll work on that.
Pips
We'll work on that.
Teddy
Finishing there.
Narrator
Go. That brings us now to Zusari's turn, who you were holding up for your guys united task.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Zusari
Soldier Storm, Sensei. Soldier Storm.
Narrator
Yep.
Zusari
Let's do it. 18.
Teddy
Mine is 12.
Mabel
So you guys are gonna have to do a lot cooler than us.
Narrator
Cause we're pretty slow.
Pips
We didn't do the unbalanced thing because we did the.
Narrator
That's right, yeah. So because you use your attack, we're gonna roll. That's a two. So you are.
Pips
That's me.
Narrator
So I'm unbalanced. Your next turn, combat.
Mabel
Okay.
Pips
All right, all right, all right.
Narrator
So anyway, both of you go ahead and roll damage. Roll our damage and then add 2D12 to the total.
Zusari
Okay.
Teddy
That'S 17 plus a 1D12 here. And I'll give you 1D12 over there.
Narrator
Ooh.
Teddy
No, that's a. No, that's wrong.
Narrator
Wrong.
Teddy
Die.
Zusari
And then I add. You said two D12.
Teddy
Add one D12.
Narrator
One for each of each. Yeah.
Teddy
So with mine, it's 17.
Narrator
That one. Yeah. You got it.
Barnaby
I was waiting for you.
Narrator
Go for it, go for it, go for it.
Teddy
All right, that's 22 points of damage for me.
Zusari
And I have 20.
Narrator
All right, that's 42 points across the field.
Teddy
So I. Yeah, we're. You got a one.
Zusari
Because I rolled an 18. Is that a crit at all?
Narrator
For the purposes of the Unites, critting is not possible. But for normal attacks, that is. Okay, so we'll get to either side of this.
Zusari
I'll get the look.
Teddy
I'm gonna go up and down, you go down. We'll just get this. Nice figure eight.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
Let me. I wanna, like, do a thing where I, like, jump off your back. Can I do that? And I'll land on one side and you got the other one.
Mabel
Yep. Okay.
Narrator
All right, here we go.
Teddy
He jumps up, and then I'm gonna.
Narrator
Hit it high, you hit it low. Both of them just go flying 15ft in opposite directions, skidding and coming to a stop in the mud, leaving a big old slide trail. And then it's just quiet. The rest of the wolves that were beginning to encroach turn around, bark at each other. Yeah. Get out of here. Scatter off into nearby scrublands and feed.
Pips
Scram.
Barnaby
I'm, like, doing tricks with my boomerang. Yeah, you don't want any of this.
Pips
We got him, Mabel.
Mabel
Oh, hell, yeah.
Narrator
Damn.
Mabel
I saw everything that just happened. That was crazy.
Pips
Stash my.
Mabel
Whoa. That was cool.
Pips
Yeah, we did really good.
Mabel
Yeah, you did good. What? Everybody here's so cool.
Pips
Yeah.
Zusari
Good job, everybody.
Pips
I'm really impressed.
Mabel
Yeah, as am I. Yeah, it's like some camaraderie building right now.
Pips
Are you okay?
Zusari
I'm bleeding a little bit.
Narrator
Yeah.
Pips
Let me help you.
Zusari
Oh, thank you.
Pips
I am going to heal Zusari for I'm going to use one of my medicine slots.
Narrator
Okay.
Pips
And heal for 40 GP.
Zusari
Oh, how kind of you, Pips. Thank you.
Pips
You. You got it.
Barnaby
Who's everyone else? Looking good. I'm feeling good. Great.
Teddy
Yeah. I'm nine down. You're five down. I think that's all we got.
Mabel
Hey, flesh wound.
Narrator
Hey. We'll hear a voice echoing from a human voice that's calling out to you.
Teddy
That doesn't sound like a dog.
Pips
No. Just leave it alone.
Teddy
Oh, come on, people. We're not like that. You hear something? You hear somebody in distress?
Pips
Keep going.
Mabel
No.
Teddy
No.
Narrator
Too bad. Too bad. We're going some more.
Zusari
I can write that down.
Teddy
Turn this card around.
Zusari
No.
Mabel
Who's it? Jake, Stop it, man. What's up? What's going on over there?
Narrator
Hold up, hold up. And you see as from one of the other hills, hiding low, a head picks up. And you see a man with a hood and a cloak who's also been keeping out from the rain. It's starting to lighten up a little bit. It's more of a gentle storm end as the clouds are starting to break in the distance. But you see a man with a pack on who gets up from the hill and starts jogging over to the rest of you.
Mabel
We're still moving, right?
Teddy
I'm slowing down a bit.
Barnaby
We killed them by accident.
Narrator
No, that was fine work, let me tell you. That was. These are dangerous realms here. And I was riding a horse Back from Yew City and unfortunately they got my animal. So I've kind of been on foot for a minute. Yeah.
Zusari
I am so sorry for the loss of your horse.
Barnaby
Dude, stop this. I can barely hear this guy.
Narrator
Sure, yeah, by all means. He pulls the hood back a bit. Yeah. Do you mind slowing down a second?
Mabel
Dude, stop. This is so rude. What's happening?
Teddy
Keep your cardio up.
Mabel
It's good for you.
Teddy
Okay, okay.
Narrator
He's still running alongside, pulling the hood back. Hi. So hacking. Anyway, you see as he pulls the hood back, you see a man in his, like mid-30s or so, short brown hair, brown eyes. He has like a heavy travel cloak that's kind of like pushing back now as he's running. And you can see he has denim workers pants on, thick boots and an orange vest over a colored white shirt beneath. And he's kind of rushing up.
Teddy
All right, hand up. Hand up.
Pips
Hang on a minute. Hang on just a minute.
Narrator
Come hanging.
Zusari
I gotta help pull him up.
Pips
What's your name?
Narrator
Alex. What's your name?
Pips
Mary.
Mabel
You're too young to be this untrustworthy. Get this guy up here. Come on.
Teddy
Come on.
Mabel
What's he gonna do? What's he gonna do?
Pips
We don't even know who he is.
Mabel
He's fine.
Narrator
Just told you, my name's Alex.
Barnaby
It was not a room problem.
Zusari
We know you.
Narrator
No, but we.
Pips
What are you doing out here?
Narrator
Well, I was heading back home from Mew City.
Zusari
Where is your home, Alex?
Narrator
It's the White Deer Inn. Not far from here, actually. It's funny, I just couldn't help but watch you dispatch those creatures with quite a capability. And I take it you all are trained.
Mabel
Yeah, I'll kick ass. You live in an inn?
Narrator
Me and my family. Yeah, yeah.
Barnaby
People live in.
Zusari
People live in Ents.
Mabel
It's where you like, stay for like a night.
Teddy
Yeah, but somebody's gotta actually live there.
Narrator
My wife runs in. Oh, you run in. Oh, we own it.
Pips
Oh, wait, what is it called again?
Narrator
It's called the White Deer Inn.
Pips
Oh, yeah, the White Deer Inn. What's your wife's name?
Narrator
Her name is Hilda.
Pips
You have kids?
Narrator
I have a kid.
Gremik
What is with you in the 20 questions?
Pips
Listen, I don't know this guy.
Barnaby
This is a stranger, and therefore you know this guy.
Mabel
Really?
Teddy
Would you like something you know about Hilda? You know his. You know about his wife? Come on.
Pips
I know Hilda.
Narrator
It's totally fine.
Pips
I've never met Alex.
Narrator
I understand. And you have every right to just be careful around these times. Especially, you know, I Know, it's. There's tension in the air all around right now. We're not that far away from hopefully signing some piece of paperwork. But until then, everyone's gonna try and make a little bit of cash. Which, speaking of. Oh, boy, here we go. I happen to be a little bit of what you'd call a treasure hunter.
Teddy
Heard that before.
Narrator
See, my wife and I, we purchased this charming inn that I told you about not too long ago. And, well, there's an opportunity here that I'm wondering if you might be able to help with. Should you be interested in making yourself a bit of renown and a little bit of potch on the side.
Pips
Perhaps Barnaby's a treasure hunter as well.
Barnaby
I am. Could I offer you an awareness?
Mabel
Really?
Narrator
Maybe.
Barnaby
You're good.
Zusari
Buy a ware from Barnaby.
Barnaby
I do. Here.
Mabel
You know what?
Barnaby
I have just the thing.
Zusari
Show him the thing.
Barnaby
I hold up a spoon and has a little rune on it.
Zusari
And I'm like, see?
Narrator
That is a beautiful spoon.
Barnaby
This is a screaming spoon. When you put it in hot soup, it screams. Would you like one?
Zusari
It is a very fascinating thing to.
Mabel
Experience if you don't take it. Can we talk about that? Because that sounds dope.
Narrator
How much?
Barnaby
How much?
Narrator
How much, like, has 60 potch or something?
Barnaby
Like 60 potch. We accept.
Teddy
Layla, clearly you understand that we're looking for potch with some renown on the side rather than the other way around.
Narrator
Well, there's plenty of potch to be had. And he goes. He takes a handful of coins and puts them in your hand and takes the spoon and goes. Ah, Pete will probably find that kind of fun. Thank you kindly.
Mabel
Wait, wait. Count that. Count that real quick. Yes, of course.
Narrator
It's 60 botch.
Barnaby
It's 60 botches.
Pips
Hopefully he'll pay. You have a good price. Because he just agrees.
Barnaby
That was. Do we have to write an invoice? I've never done that. All right. Thank you.
Narrator
Thank you. My son will probably find that quite.
Teddy
A lot of fun.
Mabel
It's entertaining, just so you know.
Barnaby
Like blood curdling.
Mabel
It's customer.
Barnaby
Hey. All sales are final.
Narrator
Okay. Well, so he looks a little. Little tensely awkward. The rest of the troupe here staring right at me. Hi. Yeah. Anyway, we bought this in, and we discovered shortly thereafter that behind it is some ruins, particularly of the Sindar variety. Anyone know of the Sindar?
Mabel
Now, tell me about the Sindars. What's going on with that?
Narrator
They're young.
Zusari
Yes. Mabel doesn't know anything about the cinder.
Mabel
I've been. I'VE been doing a lot of this. This soldiering and everything, but I ain't never heard of the Sindars.
Narrator
Got you. Strange for an elf to not know about the Sindar, but. Sorry.
Mabel
I've been away from the elves for so long, I forgot all the things. I've been living with humans for like 20 something years.
Narrator
No, Valid. I should not have presumed. That's on me. No, the Sindar, as far as my research has known, and it's known in some places, more of a mythology. But there is historical record of their existence. They're an ancient race, possibly even before humans came to this land. They were known for their advanced knowledge of runes and magic.
Mabel
Oh, I don't want to. I don't fuck with that, all right? You're asking us to go over them.
Narrator
No, they're gone now. They've been gone for a long time. The Sindar vanished to the historical record and are now but stories in the land. But one of their ruins is in our backyard, and it's sealed, best I can tell. I've hunted a few treasures in my time, but I understand my limits as an individual, as some of these Sindar ruins which they've left scattered throughout all the various realms as they meandered, nomadic for the time that they were here until they eventually found their eternal city or disappeared, whichever the myth is you've heard. But these ruins are often built to contain something powerful, something special, something worth quite a lot of money to certain particular political interests. So if you would be interested in being my hired ruin adventuring troupe, to find a way into these Sindar ruins, to get to the heart of it and what it might be holding and bring it back. One, I'll let you keep whatever you find along the way.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
2.
Mabel
I should hope so.
Narrator
You can stay at the inn for free. I'm sure Hilda will make a grand meal. And three, I'll pay y'all 15,000 pots you can split amongst the slice of the neck, like each. How about that? Oh, as a troop, you can distribute amongst yourself.
Mabel
Oh, my God. You're making us do our own math here.
Zusari
Remember the everyone gets everything equally.
Mabel
Of course.
Barnaby
If you wouldn't mind, we would like to talk amongst ourselves. And I'll turn around. I will be honest. That is the first thing I sold in quite some time. And so I need the money, so I'm down.
Teddy
Also, all of you are, like, easily six months or more behind on your dues for the arena, so. Yeah, for my training ring. So, honestly, this could just help everybody. Else. You're not. You're fine. You're fine. I'm not naming names.
Mabel
I do owe you.
Zusari
I do owe you.
Teddy
I wasn't gonna name names. It could have been anybody.
Zusari
It's okay.
Narrator
It's honorable.
Teddy
Yeah.
Mabel
No, look, I come into your gym for free because that's just how I roll.
Zusari
And you can thank him for allowing you to do that.
Mabel
Yes, well, when I come into your gym, I bring a little bit of prestige. You have an elf in your gym? Number one and a badass.
Zusari
I go to the gym all the time, and she's a very.
Narrator
And I have you, too.
Teddy
It's really nice.
Narrator
I'm cooler.
Barnaby
Obviously.
Mabel
I've got curb appeal when I'm inside.
Barnaby
All right. I've heard you barge in. I've heard every time. You always walk past everybody.
Mabel
Yeah, Because I want everyone to know that I'm there for paying attention. Yes.
Teddy
We'll take the job.
Barnaby
Yay.
Narrator
Fantastic. Great. I'm excited to do business with you all. Go ahead and change your trajectory with your cart a little ways west of here.
Teddy
You know. You know, they're supposed to actually, like, disclose that you have Xandar ruins before. Before you buy a piece of property. So you could probably. Probably do something about that.
Narrator
That's what I'm trying to think. That's a whole issue.
Zusari
Well, he'd be right. It was the entirety, I assume.
Narrator
So I'm horseless. And honestly, this is a lot. He looks outside. The rain's actually let up now. He's like, I guess it's getting drier out there, but it's still muddy across these fields. If you don't mind.
Mabel
Not at all.
Zusari
One question. Do you have snacks? We were very hungry.
Narrator
Looks around at the rest of you. I have a bit of attacking jerky, I guess.
Mabel
Yeah, some of that.
Narrator
All right. All right. Pulls out, like, a small cluster, like a pouch of very striped things that just immediately get torn out of his hand.
Mabel
How much money did you say you have?
Barnaby
I have 60 of it.
Mabel
Oh, my God. 60 it is.
Barnaby
Oh, Yep. That sounds.
Pips
Wait.
Narrator
What?
Pips
No, I thought maybe we could. Offering.
Barnaby
We could do a trade.
Narrator
I literally pulled it out of my pocket, and you took it from me. But, you know, we're business partners. No, you can have it free of charge.
Barnaby
So tenor is that intimidating? I appreciate this guy.
Teddy
When they donate, the kids get very hangry. I really appreciate that.
Barnaby
That's valid.
Narrator
Anyway. So how'd you all meet? As the cart begins to pull off into the distance, kind of picking up over the hill.
Teddy
Oh, That's a long story.
Gremik
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Narrator
Pushing onward as the kind of afternoon continues on. Eventually you come to the exterior of the dense forest that sits outside the mountain range that marks the eastern border of this part of Joustin. You can see eventually you have to step out of the cart and hitch the horses to the side a bit as the road becomes a little bit too narrow for the entire cart to get there. But it doesn't take you too long before you come to the exterior of a well maintained wooden fence, this quaint little perimeter structure that self encircles this equally quaint modest two story inn crafted of stone and shingle roof. Beams of sunlight break through parts of the nearby tree canopy, bringing a cozy glow to the flower boxes that sit beneath the windows. The sounds of a drove of pigs nestled in the shade nearby catch your ears as they scavenge through the nearby grounds and mud for food. You see a white and brown cat that settled upon top of the edge, its paws kind of over the edge. Just kind of looking at all of you. Alex goes, kind of scudes up to you and Alex goes, All right, well, welcome to my home, the White Deer Inn.
Mabel
Damn. This is your place. Charm?
Narrator
Well, it's our place. Quite nice. Thank you.
Mabel
Thank you. Gee whiz. Can we stay with you?
Narrator
That was part of the deal.
Mabel
Complete the mission, right? Yes. Got the 60 pots still, right?
Barnaby
I do, yes.
Narrator
Okay.
Barnaby
Do you want some?
Mabel
No, no, no, we're good. I just wanted to make sure we.
Teddy
Really needed the jerky eye. Thank you.
Narrator
I really do. I get that. Well, just playing him over that. You hear the door open and you see a woman step out what you presume to be Hilda. A woman in her 30s. Long brown hair that's pulled back other than a few strands that frame the sides of her face. A gentle face with a smile that brightens around her brown eyes as she rushes towards Alex. Alex. And puts her arms out. And he picks her up and lifts her. And you see them spin in place for a bit. And she's like, I was so worried. You were. You were two days behind when you said you'd be back. And Alex says, I know, I know. The weather's been a bit rough and had a bit of a run in with some of these, you know, the dangerous denizens of the open plains. But I lost Jamie in the process. And she's like, oh, we'll find a new horse. And she kind of pats him on the cheek.
Pips
Who names their horse Jamie?
Mabel
Dude, he brought us into here. All right, Be nice.
Pips
I don't trust them.
Gremik
All right?
Pips
I'm getting weird vibes.
Zusari
You're getting weird vibes.
Pips
I don't know why. Whatever.
Teddy
Mabel, the chill one on this.
Mabel
This is cheesy as hell.
Teddy
Dude.
Barnaby
It's a human neighbor.
Mabel
You think these two are capable of being sneaky?
Pips
They are too nice, okay?
Narrator
As she kind of pulls away from Alex and she's wearing a simple red dress, the white apron, and she turns like. And these are. They're our guests. They've come to help us with our ruins. And they've been hired, contracted to be part of my entry team into this mysterious, possibly very beneficial endeavor. And she goes, okay, well, welcome. I'm Hilda. Welcome to our inn. You're welcome to stay. She does a quick count. We don't have any other guests at the moment, so I'll prepare a meal for eight meals.
Mabel
1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 7. Who's the eight?
Barnaby
In memory of the horse.
Narrator
At this point, you hear on the roof, climbing down by where the cat is, you see a little boy, probably no older than 7 or 8 years old, skits down on the edge and scoots up and puts his legs over the edge, looks at you all, waves his hand.
Zusari
I wave back.
Narrator
That'd be Pete. Pete is the eighth. He goes, hi.
Mabel
Hey, Pete. Hello, Pete.
Narrator
Hi, Pete.
Zusari
Greetings, Pete.
Narrator
Who are you?
Barnaby
Well, I'm Barnaby.
Zusari
That's Barnaby.
Barnaby
I am a wandering trader.
Zusari
Do you want to see his wares?
Narrator
He has a spoon.
Mabel
That's.
Narrator
You have a scary face.
Mabel
Oh, well, let me tell you, I.
Barnaby
Have better wears than a face. Let me. Let me grab something out of here, I bring out a spoon.
Zusari
The spoon is for.
Barnaby
Oh, yes, you have a spoon. Well, you're gonna have a spoon. And I'll. I'll gesture towards the.
Narrator
What's the spoon? Alice goes, oh, right, yeah. Bought you a spoon. It says a noisemaker. Honey, could you get some hot tea prepared for everybody?
Barnaby
Boiling hot.
Narrator
Boiling hot tea for everybody. Of course. Of course. Pete come to nav there. It's not safe. And she kind of rushes off to get the ladder and he kind of kicks his legs off the edge. He goes, it's good to have people over. Welcome. Yo.
Mabel
I don't think she likes just being here, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Narrator
Do people not usually come as she darts on the side? Alex, who's getting his pack off the cart, goes, no. We get folks traveling in and out, but usually there are military troops moving up and down the edge of the Jouston perimeter. But time's been what they are. It's been probably a few weeks since we've seen any extra punch, which is why this is an opportunity. Come on inside.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Barnaby
This is getting. This is getting better and better.
Mabel
I'm starting to be on your side a little bit.
Zusari
I offered to help with the ladder to help Pete down from the.
Narrator
Easily enough to do it. Pete comes down and you all eventually gather and head inside where the hearth itself is crackling in the edges warm interior, especially against the somewhat soaked travel that you've done here. The sorrow on the inside, it is just a nice, beautiful. The two tables that sit out there have gentle cloths over them as well as a countertop the front where you see where the clerical work is done of the inn. As Hilda is behind there currently and getting silverware and set the table. Pete goes and runs up and helps her and starts arranging getting the different things around the table. Alex goes and takes his boots off and trips them over to get the rest of the soaked rainwater to pour out on the front porch. But it is a welcoming, soft, gentle little inn.
Mabel
Hey, Pete, you want to see a giant hammer?
Narrator
What?
Mabel
Yo, this thing's huge. Check it out.
Narrator
That's so big.
Mabel
Yeah. Try to pick it up.
Narrator
Can I, Dad? I was like, sure, I bought you a screaming spoon. Why not? Let's. Is that all right?
Teddy
And he'll just like outside, maybe just show.
Narrator
Honey, Is that a. He's not gonna lift it, honey. And Pete goes.
Mabel
Ah, look at him. He can't lift it. His alarms are so tiny.
Zusari
It's okay, Pete. I can barely lift the hammer.
Narrator
When you're stronger when I'm stronger.
Mabel
If you work hard.
Teddy
If you work hard, you can lift that hammer. It's just gonna take time. And you have to be consistent and training. And you have to train. Do your cardio a little bit.
Narrator
Training? What's cardio?
Pips
Well, you don't need it. It's boring.
Barnaby
Also, a membership at a wonderful little dojo.
Narrator
It doesn't hurt.
Zusari
He runs it. It's very good.
Mabel
Now he'll just let you in for free if you just come in.
Teddy
That's not true.
Barnaby
You barge in.
Teddy
Only the first one I can barge.
Barnaby
See clearly already learning the wrong things.
Narrator
I love.
Mabel
Very proud of you. Wonderful.
Narrator
You get sent to die in poverty. Up the stairs.
Pips
Let me take off my shoes since they're muddy and disgusting.
Narrator
By all means. Yeah. You get yourselves comfortable. There's upstairs bedchamber set for the evening. And then eventually, as you get yourself settled in, your stuff put aside, there's a washroom where you can go and take off a lot of the travel and muck that's gathered upon all of you. A nice warm dinner greets you in the chambers below. It's not a vast spread, but it is welcome. Warm bread. There's some fine salted meats. There's a number of freshly picked vegetables and fruits that have been gathered, probably from nearby gardens, that you got a glance at as you enter the premises of the white diary.
Mabel
Yeah, we saw a garden out earlier. It was pretty crazy.
Narrator
Well, we grow these here ourselves. I hope you enjoy them very much.
Mabel
How do you protect against the rabbits and stuff?
Narrator
She looks over at Alex for a second. Well, if you put a few traps out, that also is where we get our mutton. And she points over at one of the other bowls that has, like, a mutton stew.
Mabel
Oh, dang. Look at that.
Zusari
Very efficient.
Mabel
You guys got a good operation going on here.
Narrator
You know, there are worse places to be. It's definitely a step up from where we used to live. And Alex kind of pats her on the shoulder and she goes, honey, can we have a conversation? Enjoy your dinner, friends? Yeah, of course.
Mabel
Trouble in paradise? At least. Thank you.
Narrator
The two of them just head upstairs for a bit.
Pips
I want to follow and listen.
Narrator
Okay? All right, go ahead.
Mabel
Keep going. Pip, wait.
Barnaby
Hold on.
Pips
I'm going to go pee.
Mabel
Okay. All right.
Barnaby
If you find anything, take it.
Mabel
I will.
Teddy
Don't break any pots unless there are anything.
Pips
No, I just have to. I'll be right back.
Mabel
Is she going to snoop?
Zusari
Pips has to use the restroom.
Pips
She's Going to pee.
Zusari
Can you let her use the restroom?
Pips
Thank you.
Narrator
All right, so I need you to roll a dexterity roll for me. So roll D20, add your dexterity bonus to see if you can quietly follow behind unnoticed.
Pips
12.
Narrator
12. Okay. You quietly head up the stairs. The wooden steps himself get creaking under your foots. You're a light elf, but not light enough for an old wood step to not notify your presence. But as you get to the very top of the landing at the second floor, you can hear them talking. They have not seemed to take notice of your presence, yet they've moved into their side master bedchambers. The door is slightly, ever so faintly ajar, and you quietly get up to the edge of it, and you could hear Hilda's like, look, Alex is talking to Hilda, and he says, it's all right, honey. We've traveled quite a bit. They seem a bit scattered in ways, but I've seen them fight. They're quite talented. They have eyes for intrigue. And I think, honestly, I'll take whoever can help at this point. And she goes, honey, look, I know this is a dream of yours, but is it safe? I mean, the more we try and push this, I'm afraid it's going to try and convince Pete to try and step further than we allow him within the woods. I mean, you don't even know how to get inside. She's like. He turns back and says, I know, I know, but they're a quite worldly bunch. They've been around. And we'll find a way in, I'm sure, and we'll. Look, we need the money. We need to get a better place for all of you. Need to get you some new clothes. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fine. Trust me.
Mabel
Yo, this mutton's really good.
Barnaby
And then you put it in the tea. Do you hear it? Do you hear the scream?
Mabel
Dude, that's crazy. How did you do that?
Narrator
I like that it actually screams. That's so cool.
Teddy
Like, it's actually just. It's just sounds like it's angry and drowned.
Zusari
Oh, I wish I bought it for 60 potch.
Narrator
We're working on pricing, but eventually they come to an awkward quiet where she's like, just be careful, okay? And if it's still sealed and you can't find a way in, you're okay to just walk back. And he's like, of course, yeah. I mean, that's the whole point of this anyway. I'm gonna go check out on him. He Starts moving towards the door.
Pips
I start trying to tiptoe down the stairs.
Narrator
Roll one more dexterity for me. Oh, yay.
Teddy
I'm so excited.
Pips
That's a natural one. I'm just gonna stand there.
Narrator
You stand there at the door? Yeah.
Pips
I'm gonna open the door and be like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Narrator
I thought.
Pips
Was this the bathroom?
Narrator
No, no, this is our bedroom.
Pips
I'm very sorry.
Narrator
How long have you been there?
Pips
I just walked up here.
Narrator
Are you a snoop as well as an adventurer?
Zusari
Can I hear them talking upstairs?
Narrator
You know what I'll say based on the food and conversation. Roll a D20 for me.
Zusari
We are allowed 16.
Narrator
16? Yeah. You hear a little bit of ruckus.
Zusari
I hear a little bit of the conversation, and I step up to. To save Pip from the situation. So I'm going to try to be like, pip, did you find the bathroom okay?
Pips
I. No, I just walked into their bedroom. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry.
Narrator
He sighs and Hilda comes up on her shoulder and is like, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. The water closet's right down the hall there to the left. Thank you so much. We only have one for all of you, so you have to take turns, but it's well kept and well maintained.
Pips
Got it. Thank you very much.
Mabel
Right behind them. Yo, is this where I piss?
Pips
Yes, right down the right on the left.
Mabel
Okay. Did you go already?
Pips
I haven't yet. I do have to go.
Narrator
Oh, God. Pete comes up. I want to piss, too. Hilda goes, pete, don't say that word. Oh, boy. Piss. I got a piss.
Mabel
Man, this kid rules. Piss. Yeah.
Narrator
Alex, face palms hard, and Hilda's like, I'm glad you brought your friends here.
Barnaby
I'm sitting across from Teddy, like, putting kind of like a carrot through. Through the slot under my helmet as it continuously goes up. And I go, we're not good people, are we?
Teddy
We're not the worst. And I'm just gonna take a carrot off the. And also, oh, boy, these kids.
Zusari
I go to Pete and Hilda and I, a deep bow. Please excuse my friends. We may be a rambunctious bunch, but our hearts are in the right place and we deeply, deeply appreciate your hospitality so far.
Narrator
She smiles and softens like, no need to be so formal. We're happy to host you and just promise you'll be safe. Don't get too far into things you don't understand. If things get too hairy, just come back. Pete pops up and says, don't forget to piss.
Zusari
We will not forget to piss. Pete. Thank you.
Mabel
Okay, you can stop saying it now because she won't go in and I need to go. So can we get this going already?
Narrator
Lola puts her hand around Pete's mouth and covers like it's bedtime for you, Pete. We'll see you all in the morning. Have breakfast up and early before you trek out. Oh yeah, and if you need anything, just rap at our door and let me know.
Pips
Know where your door is now. Very sorry.
Narrator
It's all right. And she ducks into the room and Alex heads downstairs. And while the rest of you are waiting for whatever line you're going to take to the restroom, I'm just going.
Barnaby
To go right now.
Mabel
We're all standing around. I'm going in. Thank you.
Narrator
All right. So the evening progresses. Alex is downstairs having a small tankard of half filled ale of some kind. And he's just thinking. His eyes are locked in a distant stare of something far off from the interior that he's facing. As you all come back downstairs to finish up your meal, he glanced over and it's like, hey, I gotta say, I appreciate that you're all putting the trust into this opportunity for all of us. I think this can be a really great thing.
Teddy
I see you have a bit of contemplation happening right now. And is there anything we should know before we get into this?
Narrator
Well, I've cleared out most of the brush to the front of it and I found the front of it, but it's best I can tell, blocked or sealed or maybe it's not even an entrance. Maybe it's just an art piece. I've gone back and forth to a number of the various libraries and cities all throughout this region, looked up everything I can about the Sindar, and it's all just bits and pieces, but nothing specifically about this. A lot about the runes. And I guess there was the leader of the Sindar of the time was cursed by the rune of change, which is one of the 27 true runes, which is something I don't even really kind of understand, to be honest, but a lot of talk about a universal struggle between order and chaos and runes that shape the world as we know it. And I don't know, that's kind of beyond my pay grade, I'm honest, but like nothing about the symbols I've seen here. So I figure first thing in the morning, we get our food, we head over to this front gate, we see if there's something I'm missing here, maybe we walk the perimeter, see if there's another Way in, maybe. If there is another entrance that I haven't found. You know, I'm just one man, but together we are six very talented people.
Mabel
Six very talented people who don't know how to open the door to this place.
Narrator
Well, we don't for now.
Zusari
How many times have you attempted to open the door?
Narrator
Almost daily for about three years.
Mabel
Okay.
Pips
Oh, what have you tried?
Narrator
I mean, I've tried singing to it. I've tried pushing it as hard as I can.
Mabel
Open sesame. You try that one?
Narrator
No, but we could try that.
Barnaby
That's a pretty good one.
Narrator
Some parts of it seem to slide or move, but nothing that I'm quite picking up on. I don't know if it's just decoration or if there's some trick to it. I've begun digging deeper along the sides. And the walls of the ruins just keep going. Dug into the stone in the hill. So this is a big place. So there could be alternative ways in, but nothing that I feel comfortable going too far in. I'm. I can hear things scratching around on the other side of those walls.
Zusari
Has anything in your studies led you to not have any knowledge of what may be inside the ruins? Of course, you said there's treasure, but what kind of. Maybe you heard scratching? Creatures could live in there that we.
Narrator
Should be aware of? Well, people who have been to other Sindar ruins have spoken that they build them to protect magnificent secrets. Right. And to keep them protected, they often build dangerous challenges, traps, and perhaps even seal in denizens to wander and proliferate within the walls. So that is why I'm paying you quite a bit of potch to go and see where it goes.
Teddy
This is what all the training has been for. Things like this. Encounters, getting stronger, putting your skills to the test. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be good. Body, the mind, the soul.
Barnaby
I already feel rejuvenated. Imagine all the things we can find. Like a magic thing that you could sell. That I could sell.
Zusari
There it is.
Barnaby
That would be wonderful.
Teddy
Yes.
Barnaby
How wonderful.
Narrator
This spoon, by the way. Terrifying.
Barnaby
Terrifying. Oh, I'm so glad you got it off my bumper.
Mabel
Don't you love it?
Narrator
It's great.
Barnaby
It's pretty good. Would you like. Maybe I have another one. We'll find it in there.
Narrator
Maybe if you find a Sindarin screaming spoon. I bet you I know a few people in New City that'll pay premium for that.
Mabel
Wow.
Narrator
Premium.
Barnaby
I'll write that down.
Narrator
I'm just saying. I'm just saying.
Mabel
This is still the same night Right.
Narrator
Yeah. It's later in the evening, so I'm a little drunk.
Teddy
You are a tiny child.
Mabel
And I'm like, listen, I don't mean to be pedantic or anything, but people don't build ruins.
Zusari
Okay, well, the Sundarians, the.
Mabel
They build buildings, and then they become ruined. So I just want to, you know, I want to make sure that we're talking correctly over here.
Narrator
That's entirely valid.
Mabel
That's.
Narrator
You say you don't want to be former buildings.
Mabel
Just.
Barnaby
I do like that.
Mabel
If you're gonna say you built the ruins, it's like, just say something else. You know what I'm saying?
Narrator
He does another drink after his. His third stein as well, and he's like, look, I know it's pedantic and all that, but, like, it's just a figure's speech. It's the ease in which one can express specific. It's become ruins over time because it's not a proper building in our age. Right?
Mabel
Oh, my God. This guy. Just stir the screaming spoon. All right.
Barnaby
Oh, wonderful.
Narrator
All right, I'll do that.
Barnaby
It's exciting.
Narrator
Gets up and, like, takes way too long putting, like, a pot on the fire, waiting for it to heat up as the kettle starts, like, whistling.
Mabel
This spoon is awesome.
Barnaby
Funny.
Mabel
Mold things to catch it the whole time. Look at this.
Barnaby
It's a mirror. It tells you how good you look. You look good.
Narrator
Hear a couple light footsteps down the stairs as Pete comes down, like, is someone playing with my spoon? He's like, go back to bed. Go back to bed. Don't you playing, Pete? Just screaming.
Teddy
Just screaming.
Narrator
I am sentient. I feel things. Go back.
Zusari
Alcohol. And, like, I put it in the nearest cupboard I can find. Yeah.
Mabel
Where'd the booze go?
Barnaby
I think you dropped.
Zusari
Well, you seem to be all out. Isn't that interesting?
Teddy
It's been such a long night. We're all in. I think that when the booze is gone, it's time to go to sleep.
Mabel
Oh, I feel that. All right. Yeah. No, I'm feeling a little good. Hey, where's that bathroom again?
Zusari
Upstairs on the left.
Narrator
Here, I'll walk you. I'm going up there anyway.
Mabel
I start knocking on your bedroom.
Narrator
Hilda kind of opens the door. Excuse me.
Mabel
Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were in there. I'll wait.
Narrator
Alex, come to bed. Down the hall. That way. Alex goes that way. That way.
Mabel
Oh, okay. Okay. Sorry.
Narrator
Eventually, you all go to your chambers, and in various states of restful sleep or drunken stupor, whichever your choice may be Certainly a variety of unique dreams find you everything from flashes of memory interpreted through the veil of recent events to possibilities of what lies beyond. Or even so, maybe just images. Images that even you yourself might be trying to suss out as to what purpose or fate it calls you towards. But then, as quick as you thought, the morning comes. As the sun rises and the sound of birds chirping in the surrounding forest and the green boughs of the trees that cluster and cover the top begin to whistle and carry you into the morning hour, you all begin to slowly come to consciousness as the smell of. Of a fresh breakfast draws you to the floor beneath there. Hilda, with Pete's help, has prepared fine series of sunny side up eggs, some remainder of the slices of meat that have been fried up, as well as some toasted bread and some additional provisions that have been packed and wrapped for your journey into the ruins themselves. Set aside Alyssa's. Good morning, everyone. Please enjoy the breakfast as it would. And she looks over to Alex just before you leave. Make sure you say goodbye. And you see Alex putting on his boots and getting his. Oh, of course, honey, of course. And he gets a little short sword and puts it on his belt. He pulls it out and it is undamaged. Perfectly freshly purchased. He holds it and like, whoa. Sheathes it, locks onto his belt.
Mabel
All right, this guy's staying in the back. Very reassuring.
Teddy
Everybody's carb loaded. You know, you're gonna be ready for the day. It's gonna be kind of. Kind of intense. We may have to run. We may have to fight.
Barnaby
Mabel, how are you feeling?
Mabel
Not so loud, okay? All right.
Narrator
Wonderful.
Barnaby
That's a good thing before we put our lives on the line, right? Technically, we carbon loaded last night. Now maybe it passes over into the next day.
Mabel
Look, have you seen how small I am?
Barnaby
I was thinking that last night.
Narrator
Yes, I think you were actually.
Zusari
I was actually warned a couple times by Sensei Theodore.
Teddy
I don't think you recall though, do you?
Mabel
Listen, I mean, if it's in front of me, I'm gonna drink it.
Zusari
What's my name?
Narrator
Oh, man. Buddy. Eventually you all gather your supplies and things together. Alex goes and kisses Hilda and rubs Pete's head a little bit and. All right, loves, hold the fort down. We'll be back here in a jiffy and hopefully with something very cool to show for it. Yeah. And Pete goes like. And Hilda smiles and sighs and looks over the rest of you and says, keep him safe. We'll take care of him.
Pips
How much do you usually charge for people to stay in your inn.
Narrator
It's about 70 pash a person for an evening's rest.
Mabel
Oh, man, we're screwed.
Zusari
Wait, didn't we stay here?
Narrator
Oh, we're not charging them.
Teddy
You are.
Pips
I know it's part of the deal, but you really did a nice thing for us. Thank you.
Narrator
Well, you're doing a nice thing for us too. You're helping ensure a future for these folks.
Zusari
We'll do our best, won't we? Yes, we'll do our best.
Pips
Yes, we'll do our best.
Teddy
You're ridiculous not to do anything less than 110%. I don't care to do.
Zusari
Good one. I'm going to write.
Barnaby
I don't usually do this.
Narrator
That's really.
Barnaby
Yes, but free of charge. And I'll bring out a little jar and a lid. There's nothing in it. This is an item I've had in my collection for some time. It is. I'm sorry. Magical in some way.
Mabel
It's okay. Getting it away from us.
Narrator
I know, I know.
Barnaby
It is a jar that cannot be opened. And I want you to have it.
Zusari
Can I try opening it?
Teddy
I need to try and open it right now.
Mabel
Don't open that magic jar, you guys.
Zusari
But it can't be opened. I must test this.
Mabel
Come on. I can't deal with this this early in the morning.
Barnaby
Take care.
Narrator
You hand it over. Hilda takes it and goes, thank you. Pete goes, it's so cool. I want to try. If he grabs it, it's like the whole trying to get the jar open.
Zusari
It really can't be open.
Teddy
It's going to haunt me.
Barnaby
Little kid. Trying it.
Narrator
As you all begin to step out and gather your supplies and cloaks over it. And Alex heads alongside you. All right. I'll show you where the ruins are. You all take care. Love you both. And Hilda goes, Goodbye. Stay safe. And Pete goes. Don't forget to piss.
Mabel
Stop it. Don't open that jar.
Narrator
An hour later you hear a horrible explosion in the distance. What do you say?
Zusari
I said before we leave, I take the deepest bow I can for the both of them.
Barnaby
Your forehead touches the ground.
Zusari
Yes.
Mabel
Very impressive. Yes.
Narrator
Hilda gives a nod too. And Pete then also gets on the ground too and matches your bow. And as you both pull down.
Zusari
So he's like such a respectful bow you have, Pete.
Narrator
Yeah. I learned from the best.
Zusari
We'll be back very soon. Thank you.
Narrator
Please, please do we come back with treasure?
Zusari
Treasure.
Narrator
He sits up and Hilda rustles his head a bit and goes. Take care. As you all shuffle off into the.
Pips
We'll take care of him.
Narrator
She nods. You shuffle off into the woods to the north side where the wooden perimeter gate opens and you can see now the thick brush of the forest ahead. Part of it cleared open, the shade keeping it nice and cool this early in the morning. A low fog slowly settles into the region as you begin to push forward. The little bits of light peeking through. About three, four minutes of walking and travel, taking in the sounds of nature. Around you, the fog gets thicker and thicker until eventually you begin to the first shape of a stone pillar. Just the out dark line of it and then another. Begin to see the grass and dirt floor begins to give way to patches of smooth stone. Carved and settled together intently, pillars line a familiar pathway to an ancient time. Parts of the pillars crumbled and fallen and left to piles of debris. As you step around them and follow Alex, eventually you see the large ominous stone shape of some ancient structure itself heavily overgrown with vine and branch and bough wrapped around it. You can see areas where the rocky cliffs at the base of the mountains wrap and grasp it from all sides. There, as you approach the front, you can see there are two massive stone statues, feminine in form, almost human like, but features still hard to quite recognize, swathed in a heavy robe and hooded. You can just see the lower part of their faces, somewhat humanoid but hard to place. Their arms up holding the archway top of the roof that makes the beginning of this massive temple. There you see what looks like a 10 foot by 10 foot double sided doorway where a massive circular glyph like stone relief is embedded into it, intricately carved with all manner of strange lines and shapes. It's almost like some odd mathematical equation is forever placed sourcelessly and without particular pattern into this stonework long ago. Here it sits, dried brown rock, roots and vines that have clawed up and climbed over it, most of them torn away upon the center part of the relief. As you all begin to step up and approach, Alex goes. Here it is. Welcome to the Sindar ruins.
Teddy
This is beautiful.
Pips
It's beautiful.
Teddy
You know, they don't make ruins like this anymore.
Mabel
They don't make ruins. That's what I'm trying to say.
Zusari
Well, they're buildings first, right? Yes, former buildings. As Mabel would have mentioned, they don't make former buildings.
Narrator
Welcome to the Sindar former buildings. If that makes you feel better, I'm.
Pips
Going to go up to the front to the door.
Narrator
It is hard stone that is so solid or thick that you don't hear any echo get through. It's Just your knuckles hitting unmovable surface. And it hurts your knuckles on the impact. I got to be honest.
Mabel
That was a good move.
Pips
Yeah, I just figured.
Zusari
I figured that didn't work.
Pips
I know. I figured maybe you didn't try knocking.
Narrator
I don't know, weirdly many times, many ways. But also always good to double, triple check.
Mabel
Barnaby and I were chatting. I think open sesame's the way to go. You see that? You were into that open sesame plan, too?
Pips
Yeah, I could try it.
Teddy
There's nothing wrong with it.
Zusari
I want to walk up and try to see if I can make out any of the sigils or whatever the. You know, there's like, whatever on the glyph on the front of it. If I can recognize any of those.
Narrator
Go ahead and roll with magic as you're looking at it, Alex. Like, I assume a lot of this is Sindarian script, but not really much record exists aside from bits and pieces of higher learning.
Zusari
What do I roll?
Mabel
Is that a 20?
Narrator
Roll D20 and add your magic.
Zusari
15. And I don't have any magic.
Narrator
Okay, 15.
Mabel
How do you say open sesame? And Sindar.
Barnaby
Oh, that was. Logistical concerns.
Narrator
Oh. Thank you. You look about everything in here you can tell has some sort of purpose. Everything about this design is intentional, but its scope escapes you.
Zusari
Okay. Can I also investigate the women? The women statues holding up. Are they holding up the door or are they.
Narrator
They're holding up the upper edge of where the roof begins and the rest of the temple progresses. So it looks like they're designed to look like they're holding the edges of the temple flanking both sides of that massive entryway door. Okay.
Mabel
Who is she?
Teddy
I'm going to just walk up and I'm just going to take my finger and I'm going to check these rooms in this big disk.
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
I just want to see if it's one continuous piece of stone, like it's carved in, or if it feels like this was inset and is in its own entirely different piece of stone. I'm just. I'm seeing if there's a mechanism or something.
Narrator
Yeah, you run your fingers along it. And as soon as you get, like, partway through one section of the stone, like, shifts with your movement, like it slides along a track and you release it and it slides back.
Teddy
I'm going to slide and hold stays.
Narrator
There where you held it.
Zusari
Did you find something?
Teddy
I think I did. I think I did. I'm going to try and slide to see if I can bring any other pieces, a few other pieces.
Narrator
Move but now that you see it, there's dozens of individual parts of this that can all slide. And as you slide, they all seem to. Some of them seem to ever so faintly click as they move.
Teddy
This is a little bit beyond me, but I think this is some sort of puzzle to solve. I don't know. This is not my expertise, but I did. This is clearly. I don't know. I think this looks like a lock. If I were going to have a magic lock, I would have a magic lock like this.
Mabel
Oh, I don't want it to.
Zusari
Can I try to slide a. Can you hold the one you're.
Teddy
No, I'm holding that one.
Zusari
And then can I try to. Is there any other ones near his that I can.
Narrator
There are numerous ones. The whole disc itself is probably about 8, 9ft from side to side. It almost fully occupies the entirety of these two doors. And they seem to meet in the center. So, yeah, there's all number of them that you can try and pull around his space. But even so, you're limited by the scope of your hands.
Zusari
Right.
Teddy
Barnaby, take a look at this. See if anything.
Barnaby
Well, when I traveled south of the south place that I've been, at last, I think I've seen a door or maybe more.
Teddy
I hold that.
Mabel
I remember this story.
Barnaby
I do hold that stone, Ted, will you? And I go up and I look into the slot that's there, and I go, open sesame.
Narrator
That's a good one.
Mabel
Good job on that one.
Teddy
Well, now that that's over with.
Zusari
This must be a different contraption than the ones in the south.
Barnaby
That would make sense.
Pips
That must be different.
Narrator
Yeah. Oddly, the command doesn't have an impact on the mechanism. But it was a good college try.
Mabel
Thank you.
Barnaby
Is there anything in the actual slot that's moved over?
Narrator
No. Glancing at it, it doesn't like there's anywhere to place anything. It looks like just all these various pieces have to be maneuvered in a specific way.
Zusari
Can I check the women's statues again? Is there anything on their person or anything in their making that I can.
Narrator
Roll a D20 for me. 1616. They're intricately carved. While there is weathered wear and tear. And a bit of growing naturescape that is slowly crawling up the base of them. Each of them stands about 10ft tall. They're larger than the door itself. Their arms up to the roof portion of the temple. There's no writing or script on them per se. They're just there as ominous guardians in the front of this entryway.
Teddy
Does it look like if we move these bits of stone in a particular pattern, there might be a pattern where it creates. Creates a good break that would let the doors open.
Narrator
It's possible. If you want to roll a magic check for me.
Teddy
Oh, God, me.
Narrator
Okay.
Teddy
I keep trying to get other ways.
Mabel
Is this guy about to do magic right now?
Teddy
That's a nine.
Narrator
Nine. You pull two together, release, and they slide back. You pull two more together and then this one and this one and this one. And it makes kind of like a happy face.
Mabel
Hey, look at that.
Barnaby
It might be something. Then let's continue on that.
Pips
We probably all have to do it at the same time.
Mabel
Maybe each other. Are you kidding me?
Pips
Well, how fast are we gonna get in there?
Teddy
Mabel, I know, I know you're any.
Zusari
Magic protecting gloves for Mabel in yours.
Barnaby
I do have gloves. I do have gloves. And I will. I will pull out two pairs of black gloves.
Teddy
They're anti magic suggestion.
Mabel
I got a big ass hammer.
Teddy
You know you carry a hammer long enough and I know every problem looks like a nail, but maybe you should just not try the hammer.
Pips
How many of are there of those?
Narrator
I mean, at a glance? Three dozen.
Pips
Ow.
Barnaby
Is there anything I have ever come across that would look remotely like something like this?
Narrator
Have you researched anything Sindarin in your past?
Barnaby
I've probably walked by so much and not know what that is from.
Narrator
If you'd like to roll a magic check for me, I'm basically. I'm allowing each of you to make a magic check as you attempt to figure this out to see if you can ascertain any of the secrets.
Barnaby
Dirty 20. A natural 20.
Narrator
A dirty 20. 20 is what you needed.
Barnaby
Oh, okay, wait.
Narrator
As you are contemplating, you've come across a book. Oddly, there are all sort of scripts and pieces of Sindarin research that still exist out there. Most of the books are relegated to places of higher learning. As to where you came about this one you can decide, but you notice that there are in Sindarin mathematics, there are patterns of three. And as you begin to look how all these are situated, they're almost set into trios. And on every third one, there is an additional divot mark in it. So you begin to pull each of these third marks and holding them in place. And as you get three of them pulled in, they click and hold. You get three more pull in and they click and hold until eventually you go through the full disk. When the last one clicks in, barnaby, there's a heavy impact. Dust knocks free and begins to fall and settle. As the Doors begin to open.
Zusari
Barnaby is so cool.
Barnaby
The wind will hit me as like exits out of this dark dungeon. And I'll go, oh, I am terrified. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I knew how that worked.
Narrator
I can't believe you did it. I've been trying this.
Mabel
Thank you for.
Narrator
Wow. Oh, you are already well worth the potion change. My goodness. This is incredible. Well, let's. Let's go in.
Teddy
Come on, let's go find you some nail sticks.
Mabel
Yeah. All right.
Narrator
You all charge in from that point. The smell of musty ancient air filters past you. And you enter a smaller antechamber with additional pillars along the way. And there is a secondary door that is closed. And what looks to be some sort of an odd. Looks like a pedestal onto the right of it. And Alex runs up to her and it's like, ah, okay. This is another mechanism. And you look at it, it looks like some sort of an. A series of stone buttons and reliefs into an interface like a platform.
Teddy
Small buttons are big or big.
Narrator
A series of larger inch. Inch and a half. And there are different symbols. And he goes like another one.
Zusari
So wait, what are we seeing? We're seeing a platform with a. Yeah.
Narrator
There's a long hallway with pillars and then there's a doorway at the end of it. And then to the right of it is a small raised pedestal that has these symbols on it.
Mabel
All right, I know how these things work. This is a trap. If we don't get the right thing. Okay? So we gotta do this right, or else we're gonna screw this up.
Narrator
Let's get Alex's life so close to this. After all this time, he gets one freaking door, McCann. And he like leans his elbow on it and then hits something and oh boy, the doors begin to open. And he's like, I meant to do that. That was purely.
Mabel
That was good.
Barnaby
That was good.
Narrator
See, this is where the collaboration comes in. This strange, twisting, binding sound begins to fill out the air around you as you see the hanging vines that are revealed as the doors open up to the interior of this temple property. You can see all manner of layered walls that are massive and tall and bits of overhanging canopy. It is an open air temple. But from the vines that hang down, some of them seem to shift as a number of small green shapes drop down from the vines and begin to slowly move and shift. What? What's that?
Pips
I take out my bow.
Barnaby
You might want to step back for this one.
Teddy
I cracked my knuckles.
Mabel
What did I tell you guys?
Zusari
That's okay. That's something you can hit now.
Narrator
They look like small green pods. Maybe it's the distance. Size is a little odd. Maybe not so small. Maybe about the size of a person or so. As they move, you see vines pull it forward towards you until they open up weird green potted plant creatures. Their mouths open like Venus fly trap terrifying entities that their jaws open and these five entities begin to swirl and swarm towards you. I need all of you to roll D20s and add your speed modifiers.
Teddy
Also, did HP reset after a night.
Narrator
After the night's rest, you guys got your. Any spells back and your HP is full, yo.
Mabel
I'm not gonna lie. Those things are pretty cool.
Barnaby
Oh, look at those.
Mabel
Whoa.
Narrator
Oh. Oh, my God. Yep.
Pips
Those are so cool.
Mabel
I rolled a one.
Narrator
Okay, so you'll be going last. All right. All right. So to that point. 20 to 15.
Teddy
22.
Zusari
Ooh, look at that titty.
Narrator
16. All righty. 16 for cool. 15 to 10.
Mabel
12.
Narrator
12.
Mabel
All right.
Teddy
There.
Zusari
Oh, I'm 10.
Pips
Pips Barnaby.
Narrator
Sorry?
Teddy
Oh, yeah, Pips. Barnaby's asari. Yeah. And.
Narrator
Yeah, and then Mabel and Mabel West. All right, so with that, I can't stop. As these plant entities are rushing around you, the front row itself filled with them. And two in the back that are at the ready. Teddy, you're up first, with Pips coming up shortly behind.
Teddy
Well, I'm going to. Let's start with the center, then gonna head straight in, try and dodge left. And I'm gonna see if I can just get this thing right and stain him. Wait, no, it doesn't have one. I'm gonna get it not in the mouth, but right below.
Narrator
I'll angle it this way so it.
Mabel
Looks more like the.
Barnaby
Oh, yeah.
Mabel
Oh, yeah.
Teddy
Thank you.
Narrator
There it is. That feels. That feels like sweetening right there.
Teddy
So front and center.
Narrator
You got it?
Teddy
Oh, yeah. That's 21.
Narrator
21. What's your crit range?
Teddy
Oh, yeah. 15 to 20.
Narrator
That's a crate. Go and roll damage and double it.
Zusari
Yeah.
Barnaby
All right.
Narrator
That's right. He put it all into luck.
Mabel
Yeah.
Teddy
11.
Narrator
19.
Teddy
19 would be 20. 27.
Narrator
Doubled to 50. Says four. Yeah, 54.
Teddy
Right in there. One inch punch.
Zusari
Yeah.
Narrator
One. It's one in the middle, like a. Its viney arms reaching outward as its terrible plant like maw opens up. And you can see the reddish interior where it holds some sort of acidic liquid inside. These little thorns poking up the sides of it. And you just rush forward, uncaring as you impact. You watch, you hit. And the creature goes like, and full on a second later, gets blasted back and skids on the ground. It's. Its vines have caught it and pull it back into place. But you can see its torso is ruined. Parts of its innards are kind of like spilling out as, like green and red elements are kind of like hanging. And it's like, it's time to pull these weeds.
Mabel
Come on, kids.
Zusari
Writing that one down, that was pretty cool.
Mabel
But maybe work on the lines, see how you do.
Narrator
Come on. It's now the creeper's turn. Oh, shit. So the three at the front are going to come at all three of you on the front line there with their plant chews. You watch as they come forward and they try and reach out and grab and swallow to chew you. So first coming towards Mabel, that's gonna be a 12 to hit. What's your evasion?
Mabel
Oh, that's a D20.
Narrator
It's your evasion.
Mabel
Oh, oh, it's 13.
Narrator
13. That's a miss. All right, so it goes towards you. Just keep and kick it off.
Mabel
No, I just roll around and shit.
Narrator
One's coming at you, Teddy.
Mabel
I'm too tongue open for this, man.
Narrator
That's a 12 as well.
Teddy
Yeah, now I'm a 13.
Zusari
13 again.
Narrator
Roll the same thing twice in a row. So those all miss. And the ones coming towards you. Sorry, that's going to be even lower. It's gonna be a seven. Yep, that Mrs. You, man. All of yours ducking out of the way. The front rows are not so great. The back rows, however, are gonna use their poison thorn abilities as they kind of reel back and then fire a barrage of poison nettles that are gonna fire off. One's gonna go towards you, Teddy, and one's gonna go towards you, Barnaby in the back row. Cause they can do that.
Barnaby
Oh, no, I'm allergic to poison.
Narrator
Okay, that's gonna be a 13 to hit you.
Teddy
My evasion's 13.
Narrator
That does hit you. You take 14 points of damage, reduced fire to seven. So another seven and you are poisoned. Yeah, yeah.
Pips
Oh, no.
Narrator
So you feel like as the thorns hit you, something your veins begin to pulse going burning. Brakes did not sit well. And then the ones coming at you, Barnaby, that's going to be. That's a terrible roll. Eight to hit.
Barnaby
Eight misses. Eleven is my evasion.
Narrator
You duck out of the way. No damage sustained. The thorns go flying by and hit the nearby stone wall. No impact. That finishes the play. You can't turn, but you are poisoned to the top of Pip's turn with Barnaby on deck.
Pips
All right, I'm gonna take a shot with my bow.
Narrator
Which one are you firing at?
Pips
I am going to do. Okay, let's see.
Narrator
Because you're a bow, you can hit anybody.
Pips
Yeah. All right, so I'll go for the one on the left.
Narrator
All right.
Pips
Front left.
Narrator
This one?
Pips
Yes.
Narrator
Front left.
Pips
Yes. Front.
Narrator
My left. Sorry.
Pips
Your right.
Narrator
Sorry.
Pips
All right. I don't know if that hits. It's a nine.
Narrator
A nine. Their evasion is eight. That hits.
Pips
All right, all right, all right, all right. So we got two D10. Okay. 8 plus 10. 18 plus 8. 26. No.
Narrator
Yeah, that's great. So 26 points of damage on that. That arrow strike. It sneaks into one in the front. The arrow dives into it, and you watch its acidic interior begin to spill out from the wound. Its vines triangle to close it. But that's a heavy hit on it. It's already starting to look kind of haggard from the impact. So that finishes your turn there. That leads us to Barnaby with Zusari on deck.
Barnaby
Wonderful. Teddy, your veins are turning purple. When we finish this, I want to take that thing out of your skin and keep it forever. I will throw my boomerang at the one in the middle because that's the one that was hit originally, right?
Narrator
This is the one that was hurt really bad by Ted.
Barnaby
I'll try to finish that guy off.
Narrator
All right, roll for a 10.
Mabel
Yeah.
Barnaby
I'll two handed overhead somehow throw a boomerang like down like an axe. Oh, no. 8.
Narrator
Wait, no, no. 8 hits exactly. 8 hits its evasion.
Mabel
Yeah.
Barnaby
15 damage.
Narrator
15 points of damage. This one in the front. The boomerang slices through and like carves it into two different pieces that fall to the ground. And the. The vines keep curling for a few more seconds before eventually they roll still and you watch the green begin to curl into brown very quickly. Destroyed. Well done. Well done. Awesome. That finishes your go. Barnaby Zusari, you're up with Mabel on deck.
Zusari
My Thomas are able to hit backline too, right?
Narrator
They are medium range, I believe, so they can only hit the front row.
Zusari
Okay, but I can attack them.
Narrator
But you can attack from either row.
Teddy
Actually, that's good to know because if you move him back, then if you start to get damage really bad.
Zusari
Yeah, I can back up and still attack. You hit this one on the.
Narrator
This one's been hit.
Zusari
Yes. I'm going to follow up Pip's attack and try to use my tonfa and hit it so fast that I sever the head from the stem. Of the hunter.
Narrator
Great. Let's go for it. Roll for the attack.
Zusari
16.
Narrator
16 hits. 16 hits.
Zusari
Roll dimage. 10. 10 hit plus your. Oh, wait, I hit 16, right?
Narrator
Well, it was a 12 plus 4.
Zusari
12 plus 4. Okay, you're right.
Mabel
10.
Narrator
10 total.
Mabel
10 total.
Narrator
Alright, you got it. So 10 damage on that one. Crack. Crack. Two heavy hits. It takes the impact. You can see it's struggling to keep itself formed together. The part of its matter is starting to tear apart. And you can see the that the flower parts around its head are like kind of falling off in petals and chunks, but it's still standing. Just very hurt. All right, that finishes your go. What's up, Mabel?
Mabel
Oh, hey. Those like purple bubbles coming off of you?
Teddy
Yeah, it'll be fine. It's just gonna take a. I don't.
Narrator
Think the eggs were fully.
Zusari
He always says it's a flesh wound.
Mabel
All right, take a seat. All right, watch how it's done. I'm gonna do the unicorn assault.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
Yeah. Left line. That's the one that's been hit already, right?
Narrator
Actually, this one's been untouched. This one has taken some damage.
Mabel
All right, let's take that line down.
Narrator
You got it. All right. So you who are so good at this hammer, a spear based rune's not gonna stop you from using it.
Mabel
That's right, baby.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Mabel
I'm gonna spear the F out of these guys.
Narrator
Just rush forward and swing wide to try and hit that entire row.
Mabel
Nine.
Narrator
Actually. Nine still hits them both.
Mabel
Yeah. And then add damage, right?
Narrator
Correct. Yeah.
Mabel
14 plus 11 plus 25. 25.
Narrator
Nice. So as you rush forward with your hammer, how do you strike both of those in the row?
Mabel
Man, I'm just going barrel first.
Narrator
You just run straight up.
Barnaby
I'm a unicorn, baby.
Narrator
You impact both of them. The one in the back kind of rolls off and kind of catches it. Someone's vines trying to wrap around the hammer as. As you pull it away. The one in the front.
Mabel
Not today.
Narrator
The one in the front. You realize it's missing until you look in the front of the hammer and it's just smeared across the front of it. No longer functional.
Zusari
You are a unicorn.
Mabel
Let's go. Thank you.
Barnaby
I love it.
Mabel
I know I have a hard exterior, but my heart is soft.
Barnaby
You opened up so easily.
Narrator
This one ships into the front row. Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
All right, well, the one that just got damaged, I'm gonna just try and like, see if I can and finish that thing off. So I'm gonna come in and see if I can Just roundhouse behind it and just nail its head down into the floor.
Narrator
You got it. All right.
Teddy
That's not the right die. There we are. Come on.
Mabel
Oh, 12.
Teddy
16. Which is in my crit range.
Narrator
Yeah. Wow.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
I get to 16 on the dice.
Teddy
It was 12 on the dice plus four.
Narrator
Okay. No. So the crit range is. Oh, it's on the 20. Yeah.
Teddy
So 16 to hit.
Narrator
16 does hit. So not a crit, but it hits.
Teddy
It's okay. 14. 22 points of damage.
Narrator
22 points of damage in the background.
Mabel
Bam.
Teddy
Right in the back.
Narrator
So you rush forward.
Mabel
Wah.
Narrator
You hit it. It falls to the ground. Its vines try and whip up to wrap around your forearm. As you pull backward, it gets it back to its feet, and it's teetering. And you see parts of its extended vine, heavy leaves that are curling back into it and starting to blacken it. It's very heavily damaged.
Teddy
I have to take my poison damage. You do, which is 4,8 points of poison damage.
Narrator
You take 8 points of poison damage at the top of your round, and it stays there.
Teddy
Or does it heal?
Narrator
Or do I have to wait? No, it stays. Oh, yeah.
Teddy
Anyone wanted to cure my poison? I will happily take that.
Narrator
Dude, are you okay?
Mabel
What the heck's going on over here?
Narrator
God.
Teddy
I think it was the chicken and the eggs. I think the whole thing was.
Mabel
I ate both, and I'm fine.
Barnaby
You rejected with a thorn?
Narrator
Yeah.
Barnaby
Are you sure it's not the thorn.
Zusari
Protruding from your shoulder?
Barnaby
What thorn?
Narrator
Oh, my. My God. Oh, now it's spraying.
Mabel
Get that away from me. Dude, put it back in.
Barnaby
It's fine.
Narrator
That was back in and being replaced again. All right. Oh, my God. The creepers take their turn. The two in the front are going to lash out. One of them's going to come at you, Mabel, and the other's going to come at you, zoo. Sorry.
Mabel
Bring it on.
Narrator
One against you, Mabel. It's going to be. Oh, it's going to be a five.
Mabel
Oh, hell, yeah.
Narrator
That's going to miss on that one. It kind of lunges towards you itself. Just kind of stumbles and hits the ground. Looks up at you.
Mabel
I do like a. You know when you do break dance and you do, like, the. You know, do that. I'm like.
Narrator
Get back up. That one feels a little shame and, like, if a plant could, like, back up and go. That's right.
Mabel
Back up one.
Narrator
That's coming towards you. So sorry. There we go. Finally, a decent roll on my side. That's going to be a dirty 20 to hit you.
Mabel
Oh, wow.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
So this one actually, it lunges forward and as its mouth opens, you try and pull away. Its vines grab you and it pulls you into its gullet. You watch Asusaria swallowed by this creature and it like chews before you eventually fight your way out and it spits you to the ground. You do take from that attack 18 points of damage.
Barnaby
How smart. Good job, Susari, for fighting it from the inside out.
Zusari
You know, I try.
Narrator
Yeah.
Zusari
The monsters just don't really like me. I've discovered they hate me.
Narrator
The one in the back is going to go ahead and do a poison thorn attack. This one's going to be at you since you haven't been striked yet. It curls in and releases this line of toxic.
Mabel
Yo, watch out.
Narrator
That's going to be an 8 to hit you. What's your evasion gnar?
Pips
It's 11.
Narrator
You just dug out of the way. And it sprays against the wall, exploding, leaving a the toxic venom inside, causing a Jackson Pollock painting spread on it.
Mabel
Oh, that's beautiful.
Narrator
But that's gonna finish the creepers. Go Pips. You're up with Barnaby on deck.
Pips
Take out my bow. Take out my bow. And I'm gonna shoot the one that's almost down that one.
Narrator
Go for it. Roll for an attack.
Pips
All right, we got. That's great. We got a 19.
Narrator
19 hits.
Mabel
Get em Pip.
Pips
We got. All right, we got a nine and a three. We got 12 plus eight. 20.
Narrator
20 points of damage.
Zusari
Yes.
Narrator
You go ahead and strike that one. And it crumples backward. And you watch as the somewhat empty interior of its plant gullet folds in on itself almost like a slowly deflating water balloon. And it just lays there on the ground, no longer moving. That finishes your go.
Pips
Yes. Two more.
Narrator
Two more. Barnaby, you're up as you. Sorry. On deck.
Barnaby
I'll just hit the one in the front row because I know other people can as well.
Teddy
Sick.
Barnaby
Oh, that's gonna be 22 to hit. It was nice eating on the die, but my Crit range is 20, so.
Narrator
Yeah, I know. That's all good. That does hit though. Go ahead and roll. Damage. Okay.
Barnaby
Yeah, great. Sec. Eight damage.
Narrator
Eight points of damage. Okay. Now these creatures have their own defense. And so you like you hit it and it kind of. It streaks off at impacts, but it looks like it's deflected. It's a kind of hardened exterior that kind of pulls itself in place. It doesn't take as much damage as you want.
Barnaby
That is one thing about my boomerang does not do well against plants. It's never done. I've lost many friends to plants, and it's because of that boomerang. And I'll just grab it. It goes back to it.
Teddy
Plants. Is wood involved in that?
Mabel
Oh, God.
Narrator
I don't feel good.
Barnaby
Wait, Paul said you have a tree growing out of your shoulder. Did you realize that? I'm going to take that.
Narrator
All right, Sorry. You're up.
Zusari
I follow up his attack. That's the one in the front right there.
Narrator
All right. You leap forward.
Zusari
Forward. Seven. No, wait. Yeah, seven.
Narrator
What's the number on the dice?
Zusari
Three.
Narrator
Three. That's within its counter range.
Teddy
No.
Narrator
So you dive forward to strike towards it. As you do, the plant ducks out of the way. And as soon as you finish your strike and realize you've only hit air, you look up just as it's reaching towards you to try and swallowed.
Zusari
Not again.
Narrator
Fifteen to hit. You get swallowed a second time and bulletin. Skillet squeezed and crushed before he managed to vomit you out on the ground.
Mabel
This poor guy.
Narrator
Oh, that's gonna be 22 points of damage on that one.
Zusari
Okay.
Barnaby
How are you?
Zusari
I'm okay.
Narrator
Reduced by your defense. Yeah, reduced by your defense, but yeah, a nasty counter on that one. Does that finish your go, Susari? Mabel. Sorry. Mabel, you're up.
Mabel
Oh, sick. Yo, I'm gonna do that unicorn assault again. Cause that shit ruled.
Narrator
Let's go.
Mabel
Let's do it, baby. Swinging my hammer around.
Narrator
Unicorn rune on the hammer starts glowing up on your hand. It starts glowing to match it. You rush forward with the hammer swinging. Go ahead and roll your attack.
Mabel
Here I go, baby. Three plus four.
Narrator
That misses. That was my exact roll, so. No, it does not. Sorry, sorry. It does counter on A3. It does not hit it, though.
Barnaby
Okay.
Narrator
So as you rush towards the hammer, swinging it, your foot just catches one rock that you weren't saying there.
Mabel
Like, oh, I hate rocks.
Narrator
Your momentum carries you, and as you rush past the one that's standing there in front goes. He's going to just try and eat you. The gift that you are there, that's still a unicorn. It's gonna be a 12 to hit.
Mabel
Thank you. I'm 13.
Narrator
13. You just managed to dart past that one.
Mabel
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Narrator
The one in the back tries to.
Teddy
Do it as well.
Barnaby
Very agile.
Narrator
That one's gonna be a 12, however. So the one in the front misses you. The one in the back just kind of opens its mouth and waits for you to roll in and just takes you in with that. You take 15 points of damage.
Mabel
Oh, my God. Ow.
Teddy
And no defense, cuz you're unicorn.
Mabel
That's right. I don't have any defense.
Narrator
Yes, that's straight damage. All right, so that finishes your turn on top of the round. Teddy, you're up.
Barnaby
Oh, jeez.
Narrator
I crawl back out, they kind of let you. It's like, no, you. You deserve this.
Mabel
Everybody gets a bad one.
Teddy
You did well, Barnabas. You're doing really well.
Barnaby
Oh, thank you, hot pot.
Mabel
Oh, God. Who are you?
Narrator
Oh, that's Barnabas. That's Barnaby.
Zusari
You got the poison getting to me.
Narrator
The name of your turn. Yeah, you take.
Teddy
Take my damage.
Narrator
Take 2. D6 poison damage ignoring defense. Oof.
Mabel
This guy looks really sick.
Narrator
Oh, man.
Teddy
Nine points of poison damage.
Pips
That ain't fine.
Narrator
All right, all right. And take your turn.
Teddy
Yeah, I'm taking my turn.
Narrator
Here we go. Who are you going after? The one in the front is the only one you can really hit.
Teddy
One in front is the only one I can hit. Yeah, that's 11 to hit.
Narrator
That hits.
Teddy
All right, let's do some damage. Come on. Come on, big money.
Narrator
Oh, yeah.
Teddy
8, 15. 21. 29 points of damage.
Narrator
29 points of damage. A heavy combo. The one in the front, it gets knocked in the air and kind of lands with a heavy thud. It's looking pretty dang hurt.
Teddy
I kind of throw up a little on it and back up.
Narrator
It looks at you incredulously with no face because it's a plant creature, but you assume it's like, what the fuck?
Mabel
You did this.
Narrator
All right, finishing your turn, Teddy. Now they're both gonna go. The one in the front's gonna attempt to sweep up and swallow you.
Mabel
Uh oh.
Narrator
Again, that's gonna be a 12, which I think just misses your evasion. The one in the back is gonna go ahead and shoot poison thorns at you.
Mabel
Oh, I don't want this. No, don't put this on me.
Narrator
With a natural two. However it fails.
Teddy
Oh, you don't have to duck it.
Narrator
Around a second time. This other direction.
Mabel
See, that's how it's done. Sick man, you didn't even hit it.
Narrator
Pips, you're up. Barnaby, you're undetected.
Pips
I get another shot with my bow to the one in the front.
Narrator
You got it. This one's already damaged.
Pips
Yes. All right, that is gonna be a 15 to hit.
Narrator
10 hits, good roll damage.
Pips
Oh. All right, we got four. We got a nine. 13 plus eight. That's 20.
Mabel
What is that again?
Pips
21.
Narrator
21 points of damage. That one takes the blow and is reduced to a withered, quivering pile of plant matter. Nice. This one shifts back to the front. Finishing your turn. Barnaby, you're up with Zusarion deck.
Barnaby
I guess it's just you and me. All right, that is 15.
Narrator
15 hits. Yeah.
Mabel
Check.
Barnaby
That's gonna be 13 damage.
Narrator
13 damage. That's better than last time.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Narrator
All right, so the boomerang slices through it. It kind of takes the impact, shrugs off, and flies back into your hand. You see part of it kind of open and spill a little bit, but it's still pooping. Pretty hardy. Just taking some hit.
Barnaby
Don't have to make it a spectacle. That is fine.
Narrator
That is fine.
Barnaby
There'll be other things that will take the boomerang much worse. Much, much worse.
Narrator
Fair enough. Zusari, you're up with Mabel Undeck.
Zusari
Can I. I can use an antitoxin here, right?
Narrator
If you want to use your action to do that.
Zusari
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, let me do that. So I want to throw an antitoxin to you.
Mabel
You've had antidote this whole time?
Zusari
Yes, but I. Oh, thank you. We practice that a lot. Sorry it took me so long to get that to you.
Mabel
Do I drink it or do I.
Teddy
Pour it on the thing?
Mabel
I don't remember. Are you able to move your boat?
Zusari
Yes.
Narrator
And indeed, you are no longer poison.
Mabel
Dude, this guy's had a tree growing out of his arm for, like, four hours.
Barnaby
Remember to keep this warm.
Teddy
Take something for the team.
Zusari
Right.
Teddy
Sometimes it's.
Zusari
I want it to clear more of the board before. You know. So no one else gets poisoned.
Teddy
No, we're good.
Mabel
We're good.
Barnaby
We have to take care of it.
Narrator
That is technically so awesome. That finishes your go.
Teddy
Feel the pain.
Narrator
Mabel, you're up. Oh, okay, there's one left at the front. And you see, it's like I'm going.
Mabel
In for a good old fashioned whammy.
Narrator
This is the one that hit you last round, too.
Mabel
Oh, I got a boat.
Narrator
It wants another taste.
Zusari
Revenge for both of us. I've also been eaten.
Mabel
Let's try to smash it right down into the ground.
Narrator
You got it. All right, go ahead and roll an attack.
Mabel
That's right. I have to do that plus four to that 18 plus four.
Narrator
And that is within your crit range. So. Yeah. So roll your damage. Done.
Mabel
Let's go.
Zusari
Oh, you're done for 2 plus 4 plus 11.
Mabel
That's a number.
Narrator
That's 17 times 2. That's gonna be 34. So it takes 34 points of damage.
Mabel
Ooh.
Narrator
A heavy impact. It opens its mouth to try and swallow you whole. And then it sees the hammer is just too big for it to take and goes. It's smashed into the ground. You pull the hammer back, and it's like it's barely holding on by a thread.
Mabel
Oh, it's still alive.
Narrator
It's still alive.
Mabel
Come on.
Narrator
Top of the round. Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
Nope.
Narrator
What did you roll?
Teddy
A1.
Narrator
A1. It's gonna go ahead and get a counter attack.
Mabel
Wow.
Teddy
That just sucks.
Mabel
I wanted you to get the killing blow.
Narrator
Natural 20.
Zusari
No way.
Narrator
One to a natural 21.
Mabel
Okay.
Teddy
No, never mind.
Narrator
All right, Take it.
Teddy
Dad's having a bad day.
Narrator
You're having a real rough day here. All right? It's not a great damage roll, so that's a good one for you. So 18 points of damage. That could have been a lot worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got lucky in that one. But it kind of gets you partway into its mouth and tries to chew you in, and you just kick it off and land. But your legs get kind of shredded in the process and a little numb. You're feeling numb in a lot of places right now.
Teddy
It's a lot of flesh and wound.
Narrator
Yeah. All right, so that finishes you. Go. Now it's gonna go. It's gonna go ahead and try to swallow you. That's gonna be a 15 to hit.
Zusari
Dang it.
Barnaby
My third tiger to eat.
Narrator
I know wants to have a taste. Man, hate these things. That's gonna be 16 points of damage.
Barnaby
Okay.
Narrator
Reduced by eight. So just eight. All right. Finishing there.
Mabel
Go.
Narrator
Pips, you up with Barney and Death. Let's finish this.
Barnaby
Oh, Pips, why won't you do it to him?
Pips
Okay, that's a 19, which is in crit range for me.
Narrator
That is. Yeah. So, you know, roll your damage and double it.
Pips
Okay.
Teddy
Ruin it.
Pips
All right, so we got 6 plus 9. 15 plus. So do I also double the.
Barnaby
Dang.
Narrator
Yeah, for Duarte, the numbers are bigger in this version, but also that goes both ways.
Pips
So what did I say? 15.
Narrator
15 plus 8.
Pips
1523 plus. Yes.
Narrator
Oh. Explain to me how your arrow finishes off this entity.
Pips
I'll just. As all of this is happening, I just go take out the. Just let it go really quick. Right through the mouth.
Narrator
It goes through, and it's like. Like nothing happened. You think you missed. And it goes like the plant version of I don't feel so good, Mr. Star. It's like, wow. And just splatters plant viscera everywhere. A hint of your fire rune magic. Seemed to carry through on that one arrow and detonates it from the inside.
Mabel
That was cool as hell.
Zusari
Pip.
Narrator
Dang.
Pips
Thank you.
Mabel
Great shot, Pip.
Pips
How are you doing?
Teddy
I'm okay. I can hold together.
Pips
Here, let me do it. Let me give you some healing.
Barnaby
I can help you.
Teddy
I was gonna say, like, I don't want to blow through everybody's healing. Yeah, I'm 35 down, but, like, aren't.
Mabel
You a little mad it took, like, four hours to get that medicine in you?
Teddy
Nah, three.
Mabel
No, I'm good.
Teddy
So I'm a tough guy. I can.
Narrator
If someone could roll 5d20s for me real fast.
Barnaby
That's ominous.
Pips
I don't know if I like that at all.
Narrator
What are the numbers?
Zusari
Oh, 14.
Narrator
14. Okay.
Zusari
11.
Narrator
Mm.
Zusari
11 again.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
Four.
Narrator
Okay.
Zusari
How many was that?
Narrator
That's four. One more.
Zusari
18.
Narrator
18. So amongst all these creatures, oddly, as they're dead and plants, they also produce potch, because this is a JRPG. As you rummage through their bodies, you find 500 potch amongst the dead plant creatures. I should have sold them as well as a medicine. A medicine.
Zusari
And I retrieve my medicine, and I give it to you, sensei.
Mabel
Good.
Narrator
Kid.
Teddy
Don't pour that in that.
Narrator
I actually drink this. The medicine heals you for 50.
Mabel
Oh, wow.
Teddy
My God, that's great.
Pips
Stage 100 potch.
Teddy
100 pots each.
Barnaby
Yes.
Mabel
All right. I feel like that's good. I mean, I feel like this guy should get a little bit more.
Teddy
No, no, no, no, no. I'll be getting it from you at.
Narrator
The end as this battle kind of. And you all go over yourselves. You look behind you and you see Alex is there holding his fresh, short sword, who did not get engaged in the battle and is back in the doorway shaking a little bit, and is like, you know what? I'm going to keep watch here at the door in case any of the problems happen. And good luck. If you need anything, let me know. Remember, you keep what you find other than what's at the core of this. Looks like you already made a little scratch out there. That's great. He kind of looks out into the ruins, and you can see fear in his eyes. He hasn't been this close. And now that he's this close, he's like, I don't know if I want this. It's like, yeah, I'll just hang here. Good luck.
Mabel
I'm going to be honest, Alex. I kind of forgot you were here.
Narrator
Good. That means I won't affect your performance.
Zusari
Can I walk up to him and I And I put a hand on his shoulder and I go return home. Alex, your family awaits your safe return. Let us handle the ruins. You make sure you're there for them. We'll do our job and you do yours.
Narrator
And it pats your arm. Okay. Okay. I appreciate that. I know Hilda was anxious anyway. And I mean looking. Going to hold his sword up and he was about to sheathe and his wrist and there's just no sense of how to swing in. Just goes, yeah, I would have been no use anyway. Hilda was right. Okay.
Pips
In case we don't make it out, you can have my portion of the potch.
Narrator
You drop it. He leaves it there. He's like, honestly, we made a deal. You're going to make it out. Fine.
Pips
I'm not taking it. And I keep walking.
Teddy
I'll take. Take it. That's fine.
Mabel
We have your little dirk too. That'd be great.
Narrator
No, no, you got. I need.
Teddy
I need it in case something keep myself protected.
Narrator
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Mabel
Cuz you know how to use it, obviously.
Teddy
Well, it'll be dropped there if something bad happens.
Mabel
Yeah, yeah, no, that's great.
Teddy
Yeah, it's like.
Narrator
But if it gets too hairy, come back. It's not worth losing your lives in there. I don't know what's in there, so just be ready. Good luck. Any. He backs into the mist, but nevertheless, you are now within the temple.
Zusari
I was like, what is he doing?
Mabel
I was like, what is he doing? Here we go.
Narrator
Oh, this is.
Teddy
I didn't know we were gonna get this. I'm very excited.
Barnaby
What the.
Mabel
Hey, dude. Wow.
Teddy
We've got a map.
Gremik
So.
Narrator
Map with paper roofs to mark your troop best as to where you might be throughout.
Zusari
This is so JRP Right at the trees, the top down.
Narrator
Yeah, exactly. Trying to build wind upper. Yeah, I'll just say this little brass thing is your party where you need to travel. But you see, as you go through here, down this hall, there is an entryway this way. And the hall continues down this way and then vanishes that direction.
Mabel
Oh, it's a camel.
Teddy
So we have two options. We either go for the big door or we go around the corner.
Pips
Oh, there's two.
Mabel
Oh, I didn't even see. There's a door. That's cool as hell.
Teddy
There is a door. Although the door, I mean, is the obvious. Is the obvious point. It might be. It's exactly what they expect us to do.
Mabel
Yeah, I think we should explore a little bit before we try to open the door. Because the door seems like it would Would trigger some kind of stuff to happen, you know what I mean?
Teddy
It does, actually.
Narrator
That's very fair.
Teddy
Well, that was good thinking, Right.
Zusari
Can I walk up to the door and look at it, investigate it?
Narrator
Sure.
Zusari
If there's any locks or.
Narrator
Sure, go ahead and roll a D20 for me. Add your luck. Skill.
Zusari
A nine.
Narrator
Total of nine.
Zusari
Total nine.
Teddy
All right.
Narrator
Looking throughout it, it does appear like there is some sort of a locking mechanism to it. There isn't a keyhole. There is a small gap in there where it looks like a shape would fit. That's the best you can make out. Okay.
Zusari
I don't think we'd be able to get through this door anyway. It seems like there's a mechanism here, Maybe some sort of thing we would need to get the door unlocked anyway.
Mabel
I don't know. I'm pretty strong.
Zusari
Do you want to try to break it open?
Mabel
Sure, if you want me to.
Teddy
That's just how you set off a trap. Let's be honest. Like, it's best to get the door open.
Mabel
Oh, okay. The one thing I'm good at, and.
Zusari
You did really well in that last.
Teddy
Fight, that maybe it's time to get good at two things.
Mabel
And what's the second thing?
Teddy
I don't know. That's up to you.
Narrator
Caution, maybe.
Zusari
Caution?
Teddy
I don't think caution's gonna happen.
Mabel
Okay, well, you know what? Let's cautiously look around the corner then.
Teddy
All right.
Pips
All right.
Narrator
Just a little peek so you're not hitting the door.
Mabel
Hell, no.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
These fools don't want me to.
Narrator
You could anyway you could. Unless.
Mabel
Do you?
Narrator
Yeah. All right, go ahead and roll. Roll and add your strength.
Mabel
Okay. Oh, the stood.
Narrator
That's D20. No, you got right D20.
Zusari
Okay.
Mabel
I rolled a 20.
Narrator
I saw that it was a 20 when you rolled it, so, yeah, that'll do it. So as everyone's like, this is a good lesson. Everyone starts walking further down the hallway. You just give it a second and go, wham. You hear this massive impact. The sound of cracking and breaking stone and bending metal. And as the dust settles around there, you see standing there, Mabel with her massive hammer. And as it begins to clear, you can see the doorway is just a mangled mess that opens into the interior here.
Mabel
Whoa. Cool as hell.
Teddy
That's Mabel.
Zusari
You are quite strong.
Mabel
Yeah. I told you. Every time I'm like, I gotta hit the door. You're all like, no, we gotta do a little puzzle or something.
Narrator
No, no, it worked.
Teddy
I just feel like the wrong lesson was learned here.
Zusari
Yes. Now I Know, take notes, hit door.
Mabel
See, now you're learning.
Narrator
Looking into this chamber as you blast open the door and you guys kinda glance in, there is another massive double door across the way, and hallways to go to the right and left.
Mabel
You want me to hit that one too?
Narrator
No.
Teddy
But you're gonna do it anyway.
Mabel
Well, you know, I feel like I'm a little tired. I could use a little rest. My triceps are tight.
Zusari
Look around the corner square thing below us. Can I look at that?
Narrator
Yeah. You want to move forward and check?
Zusari
Yeah.
Narrator
Yeah. Go ahead and roll a D20 for me.
Zusari
3.
Narrator
Just a 3. It just looks like a design for the rest of the temple. There are different types of stone and everything around you.
Pips
Maybe I'll step on it. Let me give it a look.
Mabel
Whoa.
Narrator
Yeah. What are you trying to do?
Pips
I want to see. Yeah, I kind of want to see what that is, because I don't think we should step on it.
Zusari
Yeah, I don't want to step.
Pips
What's on the ground there?
Zusari
Right there.
Narrator
Roll a D20 for me.
Pips
Five.
Narrator
Five. It just looks design. Yeah, we both just, like, nod.
Zusari
Cool squares.
Pips
Yeah, it's actually really cool.
Mabel
Some kid was playing in here or something. Who cares?
Teddy
I'm gonna take it.
Barnaby
I don't think that is what it is.
Teddy
No, I'm gonna. Let's just try something. I'm take a potch and just toss it at the.
Pips
At the stone.
Narrator
Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting.
Zusari
Nothing.
Narrator
Nothing.
Teddy
Some damn kid just drew that on the floor.
Narrator
That's what I'm saying.
Barnaby
It was a sealed. Doesn't matter.
Mabel
How about I'll throw my hammer on it and we all kind of just back up, you know what I'm saying? If it's a pressure plate and we're not on it.
Pips
Wait.
Mabel
Right.
Zusari
What if you lose the hammer?
Mabel
Well, you know, known to fisticuff in my time.
Zusari
I believe in your strength, Mabel. You broke this door open. If you're willing to risk the hammer, by all means, let's give it a shot.
Mabel
Huh?
Narrator
Give it a shot?
Mabel
Why not?
Narrator
Let's go for it.
Mabel
All right. I tossed my hammer onto the thing.
Narrator
It hits the stoneware with a heavy impact. Half second passes, no issue. Flames engulf, spraying out of each corner of this area. This inferno burns in the core of this area. As you all step back, your eyebrows singed in a flash as you cover and protect yourselves before the flames disappear. And your hammer has a nice, blackened soot coat over it. But it is a metal hammer, so it took it fine.
Teddy
Oh, there's some mean kids who drew that on the floor.
Mabel
How'd they get in there? They must be really light kids.
Teddy
I don't like those kids.
Mabel
All right, I gotta get my hammer back. Hold on. I reached to grab my hammer.
Narrator
Okay. You grab your hammer and you can see now the floor part is indented like where it had landed. And as you step onto it and lift the hammer, your weight still holds it down.
Mabel
I didn't.
Narrator
I'm not. Meaning. Meaning it's still depressed.
Mabel
Okay. Maybe this was the wrong way to go about this.
Narrator
I don't know.
Teddy
It seemed to work pretty well.
Pips
Maybe you keep your hammer there.
Mabel
Well. Right.
Teddy
You've been known to fisticuff in your time.
Mabel
I see.
Barnaby
Different idea. How about you stay there?
Mabel
Yeah.
Barnaby
Why don't you walk across until it's up and then we will grab you out as fast as we can. Yeah.
Mabel
I'll take a look at these double doors and see if they're hittable for a while. You know, just kind of do my research.
Teddy
What's a not hittable door out of Kira.
Mabel
I'm just saying the other one, I just went willy nilly and it's like, okay, it goes. But this one seems a little stronger.
Teddy
This is smart for you. I'm impressed.
Zusari
Is it possible to see where the flames are coming from?
Narrator
Yeah. You go and glance the direction where they came from, and there are small stone tubes about that large that are closed off that seem to blend in with a lot of the majority of the stonework that builds the wall. But now you glance up, you can see the bit of the blackened exterior where the flames were jet from.
Teddy
Does it seem like there are other pipes around or at the moment, I mean, tough. From where we are. I will roll a D20.
Zusari
And additional question while he's doing that. Is it like a hole where it splits and spits out the fire, or is it just there and the fire comes out?
Narrator
It looks like where Darkness. There is a cap on it at the moment closed to hold it off.
Zusari
Okay. All right.
Teddy
Do we see any more of these little.
Mabel
I'm going to examine this door real quick just to see if it's. It looks weak enough for me to hit with my hammer.
Narrator
This is a heavier door than the one you. Because last one you saw was like kind of metal bars. This one is like a heavy stone door. I mean, you don't know until you try, but it is definitely a hefty doorway.
Mabel
Okay. For real.
Teddy
And we can see down that hallway now, right?
Narrator
Or we can move I can move it this way. Yeah, let's take a look. What's that? All the way here?
Mabel
That's so cool.
Narrator
Tends to no peeking.
Teddy
No, no, never. There are rules.
Narrator
It continues and then turns to the left.
Teddy
All right.
Mabel
Yeah, it's going left. You go down, there's a left turn. Just so you know, I can see it because I'm on the thing.
Teddy
Wisdom of youth. Okay, I'm going to get to the corner and I'm going to peek around. Obviously I'm paying attention to see if there's other things to step on or things on the wall that look a little iffy.
Narrator
Okay. So you peek around. You move into the hallway.
Teddy
Just. Yeah, I'm just going to carefully look.
Barnaby
Around, but however, we should probably have Mabel stay on this pressure.
Mabel
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. Hey, don't you have a mirror that says you're great?
Narrator
Oh, yes.
Mabel
This mirror. Look around the corner. You know what I'm saying?
Barnaby
Oh, yes.
Mabel
Thank you.
Teddy
Tell the creature that it looks great. Or is it gonna be like, you.
Mabel
Should look how well, no, it'll say you look great. There's something over there.
Teddy
All right, hand it over. Hand it over.
Mabel
I'm a freaking genius over here.
Teddy
All right. Does the mirror have an opinion?
Narrator
Mirror says nothing. All right. All right, thank you.
Teddy
All right, I'm gonna look around. Turn around and see around the corner.
Narrator
Okay, glance around me.
Mabel
Hold on. Maybe there is somebody, but they don't look great.
Barnaby
It would have said something that's never happened before. It's for reassurance.
Mabel
It tells you I couldn't imagine what it would be looking at.
Zusari
It is a non judgmental mirror.
Mabel
Well, maybe we should test it on Teddy, because I don't know. You know, that is true. You look great. See, the mirror agrees, so it says it for anybody. Got it.
Barnaby
Okay, well, it's for reassurance.
Narrator
So you step into the. Step out in the corner.
Teddy
Step in the corner.
Narrator
Okay. As you move beyond that corner, there it is mostly empty other than a small chest that appears to be closed.
Mabel
All right.
Teddy
Anything weird about this chest?
Mabel
What do you see over there?
Teddy
Nothing. Everything's fine.
Mabel
Okay. I believe everything.
Narrator
Look. Okay, it looks like a chest.
Teddy
All right, there's a chest. I'm gonna open it. If I don't come out.
Zusari
Be careful. Sensei.
Pips
Be careful.
Teddy
All right, I'm gonna. And back up.
Narrator
Okay. You kick the open. The rest of you hear something. Wooden crater, something impacting. As you step back, nothing happens.
Teddy
All right, I'm going to look inside.
Narrator
You look inside There are two things in there. There is a small piece of medicine. Actually, this will be just that one. There.
Teddy
One stuck to it, but then it vanished.
Mabel
Hey, what'd you find?
Narrator
There's a way. And a small parchment scroll that is wrapped up tightly and bound with a piece of colored leather that as you glance at it, it looks to be a transferred runic spell.
Teddy
Wow.
Narrator
With protective earth based Earthrun magic.
Teddy
All right, well, I found some magic and I found some medicine.
Narrator
That chest has been.
Mabel
That's pretty cool.
Teddy
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Mabel
No, wait, it's not cool. You said you found some magic.
Teddy
Well, it's. It's a. It's magic written down. So it's not yet magic. It's just.
Mabel
Okay, don't. Don't read that shit.
Pips
All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna peek around the other corner.
Narrator
On this corner.
Pips
Yeah, just like slowly. Just like a.
Teddy
Just reading it more.
Narrator
Another chest on that corner.
Pips
There's another chest over here.
Teddy
You want to go for it?
Pips
Yeah. All right, I'll. I'll kick it open too and then step back really quick.
Narrator
You kick it open. This one has a loud squeak as whatever rusted hinges inside haven't been open in a long time. As this is an ancient ruin.
Mabel
I heard that.
Narrator
One ancient constructed building. My apologies. But it opens up. Glance inside. There is a small glass orb that seems to have a fire burning on the inside. Again, a fire lizard orb.
Pips
There's nothing in here.
Mabel
What are you guys owning on over there? Nothing.
Teddy
We know exactly what you sound like when you lie.
Narrator
You pick it up and the fire inside seems to brighten in intensity on the inside of this orb. And as you do, you also feel this heat emanating onto your face from it and from above, like the sun had opened up, though it's still kind of gray and cloudy and the sky and you hear like you glance up and the light that's coming from above is coming from the two, three fiery birds flying Fire Drake like birds that are swooping towards you as you turn to run and join the rest of your troop. The rest of you see as in the middle of this battlefield right now, as you're stolen in the middle, these three Fire Drakes are now swarming after. Let's go ahead and get the battlefield.
Mabel
Oh my God. Yeah. Kill those trees.
Narrator
They knew what they did.
Zusari
They knew what they did.
Teddy
Timber.
Narrator
Alrighty. Cool.
Pips
Okay. Is this something I can imbue into. How do I imbue this into a weapon?
Narrator
You need a moment of downtime to do it.
Pips
Got it.
Mabel
Can I move? Can I still move about the plane or.
Narrator
If you want to, yeah.
Mabel
Okay. Because I'm on the platform right now.
Narrator
You're on the platform? You're all kind of backed up onto the platform. Yeah, I think we're all. Yeah. She rushed back to you. And you guys are on the platform right now. Okay. For whatever that may mean. All righty. So let's go ahead and roll. Everyone's speed.
Zusari
20.
Pips
Everyone's speed. Wait. Oh, you're roll.
Narrator
Roll and add your speed. All right, so you got 20 or something. Nice.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
20 to 15.
Teddy
15.
Narrator
15 for Teddy.
Mabel
So.
Teddy
Yep.
Narrator
All right. 15 to 10.
Mabel
I got 7.
Narrator
7.
Pips
I got 7 as well.
Narrator
Oh, rollies both roll D 20s and see who rolls the higher one.
Pips
15.
Narrator
Okay. There we go. Okay. Who was the winner? Abel, then, I assume. Yeah.
Pips
Pips and Barnaby.
Teddy
Barnaby.
Narrator
All righty. The flaming salamanders go first. So the first one is going to go ahead and do an inferno in the middle here. Rises up, releases a torrent of fire that goes towards everybody in the front row. Burning path across all of you for 3d8. Magic damage. Doesn't even roll to attack on this one. That's gonna be 12 points of fire damage on everyone in the front row there. So 12.
Teddy
Defense.
Mabel
Magic defense, baby. I don't take anything.
Narrator
Your resist is how much?
Mabel
15.
Narrator
Yes. You take no damage. You just take it to the face.
Mabel
I fuck with magic. Okay.
Narrator
But the rest of you, I'll reduce it by your magic defense.
Barnaby
I think that you're just standing.
Mabel
Whatever.
Narrator
I know.
Teddy
What on earth do you want to open with? Something rough.
Zusari
Let's do it.
Narrator
This one here. Two other ones have to go. This one here is going to go ahead and leap up and it's going to go ahead and do a flame burst onto. Since you didn't take any of it, this one's going to get frustrated and try and come at you. This one does have to roll to attack.
Mabel
Yeah. Come at me.
Narrator
That's going to be a 16 to hit.
Mabel
Oh, yeah. I'm 13. All right.
Narrator
So that does 21 points of fire damage.
Mabel
Is that magic too?
Narrator
That is magic damage, yeah.
Mabel
Okay.
Teddy
Still apes so much of that.
Narrator
So you still six? Yeah. You only take six damage from that? Yeah. As it breathes, it flies right to your face and it's like.
Mabel
Like, yeah, Guard ring.
Narrator
It's like it stops. Like. I'm, like, all pissed off. Flies back to its spot.
Barnaby
I don't think magic likes you. This is insane.
Narrator
The one Back there is gonna go ahead and try and dive bomb you. So it pulls back and shoots at you with an incredible flying speed, trying to just slam right into you. That's gonna be a natural two. What's your counter?
Zusari
Four.
Narrator
Four. Yeah. It misses and you get to roll an attack on it.
Mabel
Cool.
Narrator
As it dive bombs towards you, you just kinda duck out of the way and both confas. What do I just roll D20 and add your accuracy, which is plus 4.
Zusari
11.
Narrator
11, unfortunately, misses. Fairly evasive creatures, so you both whiff past each other once, but still take no damage on that one. Finishing the salamander's turn. Now it is Zusari and Teddy's go.
Teddy
Okay, Wanna do this?
Zusari
Yeah, let's do it.
Teddy
Let's do this.
Mabel
All right. Oh, here we go.
Narrator
Soldier Storm. Doing a Soldier Storm. Let's go. Unite attack up here.
Teddy
Oh, my fucking God.
Barnaby
That's crazy.
Zusari
Come on. Do I have my accuracy too?
Narrator
Add your accuracy.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
18.
Narrator
18. And what'd you get? One natural for a five. Okay, so yours definitely misses. Yours hits. So you only. So you'll just do your damage.
Zusari
Okay.
Teddy
Plus 2D6.
Narrator
Plus 2D6.
Zusari
Okay, so what do you call this move?
Mabel
Soldier Storm.
Teddy
Soldier Storm.
Zusari
That's pretty cool.
Teddy
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah.
Mabel
Reminds me of my days in the war.
Teddy
I'll teach you how to do it once. You.
Mabel
You know, and then maybe sixes and add two. Add two, six a little bit.
Narrator
Roll that twice.
Mabel
This one.
Narrator
Okay.
Teddy
Takes one.
Narrator
Oh, wow. Okay. Damn.
Zusari
23.
Narrator
23 points of damage to all the creatures in that row.
Teddy
Three of them.
Zusari
Yeah.
Narrator
All through. Hell yeah. So describe to me how you miserably fail in the middle of this, but you still carry it through.
Teddy
I run through in an attempt to attack, and they all dive at me. I don't manage to hit any of them, but, like. And now you can just hop.
Narrator
You can Mario hop.
Zusari
As they're trying to attack you, I, like, hop off your shoulders and hit each one. I do a little split kick and hit one in the middle of my. And I'm like, I got you, master.
Narrator
Don't worry as you get up with a skin knee.
Zusari
Right.
Narrator
Hair's a little singed.
Zusari
All right, that was a good tactic, pretending like you weren't gonna hit them. It distracted them from me.
Teddy
Do it the whole time.
Narrator
All right, so both of your defense is zero until your next turn. So mark that. All right, finishing your go. Pips, you're up with Mabel on deck.
Pips
Here we go. All right, so. Oh, you know what? I'm Gonna do pip.
Barnaby
We can do our team up.
Zusari
It goes to the whole row.
Pips
Shit, I think I am gonna do a whole row. Okay, you know what I'm gonna do?
Narrator
Elven ambush.
Pips
Well, I was gonna do. I was gonna do firewall.
Mabel
Oh, would that.
Barnaby
Oh, but they are fire.
Mabel
But they're fire.
Narrator
They are fire creatures, so it may not.
Barnaby
That's right.
Pips
Okay, we're doing an Elven amber.
Narrator
I'm just. Just giving you a heads up on that.
Pips
Oh, yeah.
Narrator
Can I do anything?
Mabel
Been there.
Narrator
Fire rune. Useful in most circumstances outside of this world.
Pips
Okay, I rolled a for Elven ambush.
Narrator
Yep.
Pips
I rolled. Wait, what do I add to add your accuracy? Accuracy.
Narrator
Bow accuracy.
Pips
Okay, so 18.
Narrator
18 hits them.
Mabel
Oh. Oh, five.
Narrator
Five. Oh. All right, so.
Teddy
Ooh, one. Yeah.
Narrator
Otherwise. Okay, so you still hit all of them?
Mabel
Oh, hell yeah.
Narrator
But it only. But you roll damage, combine it, and then half it. So you do a half.
Pips
Okay, okay, okay. All right.
Narrator
Big money, big money.
Pips
Okay, 18 for me.
Mabel
22.
Narrator
22. Awesome. 18. That's 40. Have 20 damage to everything in that row. Still pretty dang good.
Teddy
Everybody's been hit a bit.
Narrator
So how do you two finish your Elven ambush against all three of these salamanders in the front row?
Mabel
Okay. Yeah, it's like a weird. You have a bow and I have a hammer.
Pips
That's all right.
Mabel
Yeah.
Pips
Okay, I have an idea. Like, maybe I kind of tuck to the side a little bit.
Mabel
What if you used my hammer as an arrow?
Barnaby
Ooh, that's sick.
Narrator
Right? That's kind of awesome. I love it. So the two of you get up there, you pull the hammer back into the bow, and you kind of. You're like putting your whole body into the front of the bow as you're holding.
Mabel
Also help by putting. Pulling it back and forth.
Narrator
And so it just turns it into one massive, titanic arrow. Now, it's a little heavy and a little obtuse, which is why it doesn't have the impact it would normally. But it does kind of like blast its way through all three of the salamanders. They try knock out of the way, still get hit and knock down a heavy hit. They're all. All three of them are starting to look a little hurt. Your hammer leg spins off, hits the wall. You kind of have to rush over and grab it without taking your back foot off of the plate. Back in your place, let's go ahead and roll to see which one of you is unbalanced. That's gonna be you, Mabel. So next turn, you cannot attack or use runes.
Mabel
Oh that's all right. I don't care about runes. Who gives a shit about that.
Narrator
There you go.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
Finishing both your guys. Go. Barnaby. You're up.
Barnaby
Oh. I understand. These have probably seen this before. As I swing my boomerang and my hand back and forth. This is an anti aerial boomerang against anti aerial folks. And then my mirror will fall down.
Mabel
You look great.
Narrator
All right.
Barnaby
Doesn't matter. Swing on. I guess I'll throw. They're all same damaged. Right?
Narrator
They all have taken the same damage.
Mabel
I don't like the middle one.
Barnaby
It's flipping me off. I guess that is. Oh God.
Narrator
Eight. So eight unfortunately misses Ducks out of the way. Your boomerang kind of like you're like. Oh it's gone now. It's like throwing your airplane you spent weeks building and it just goes over the neighbor's yard. You'll never see it again. Right. As you begin to mourn it.
Barnaby
I literally don't have anything. Anything else.
Narrator
It like cuts off a little bit of the beard. It almost goes through your jugular. Each time it comes back to you. It feels almost like it's maybe trying to take you out to be free.
Barnaby
I don't know what that's about but write that down.
Narrator
That's all right.
Barnaby
I'm intimidating them.
Narrator
Fair enough.
Mabel
No worries. Sadly. Lower your head in the mirror.
Narrator
Sees you back at the top round. This one over here is going to use its once a day inferno. It's going to go ahead and rise up and blanket in the front row there with fire damage against all three of you.
Teddy
Is that magic?
Narrator
It is magic.
Teddy
Okay.
Narrator
It's a terrible damage roll. Oh that's 3D8 and I rolled a 1, 1 and a 3. So that's 5 damage to all of you. You take none.
Mabel
Of course. Yeah.
Zusari
I take two.
Mabel
You both take two.
Narrator
What a waste. And the last one's gonna use it's once a day. Then they've used it all and it's gonna go ahead and do another like inferno bask across all three of you in the front. That's. Oh that bounces it out. 22 points of magic damage to everyone in the front row. You only take seven.
Teddy
All right.
Narrator
All right.
Mabel
That's right.
Narrator
But you all are just going. Swaths of flame are just burning around and tearing through the front ranks. Mabel's kind of. It's summer. You used to this.
Mabel
I'm sick of this. I hate this magic crap.
Narrator
That finishes Salamanders. Go. Susari and Teddy are up. Yeah.
Zusari
I'm going to retreat to the back line.
Teddy
All right.
Narrator
All right. So you're shifting.
Zusari
Yeah.
Barnaby
Oh, are you hurt?
Zusari
I'm very hurt.
Narrator
Oh, yikes.
Barnaby
Oh, I didn't know that.
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
It takes a turn for me to give somebody a potion, Right?
Narrator
To use one on that, you use an item.
Teddy
Okay, let's use an item on my turn.
Narrator
Okay. Yeah, so that's. Sorry. Uses the shift. That's your turn.
Mabel
You're up.
Narrator
All right.
Teddy
Yeah, I'm going to attack. I'm going to. I'm gonna start on the right and make my way down.
Narrator
All right, got it.
Teddy
That's 17, which means it's my crit range with 21.
Narrator
Go ahead and roll damage and double it.
Mabel
Let's go.
Narrator
Here we go. Pips, you up next?
Teddy
Come on, guys. Yeah, that's not bad. 14. That's 22 doubled 44 points of damage to this one. Yeah, I just go in and I pound it in the ground, and I actually try and put out the flames, just like pounding it.
Narrator
Like your hands sizzle. But the impact of your force of a trained warrior, much like the great Hado, you are crushing it into the ground, and the flame is extinguishing, and you pull up the calloused palms, themselves a little blackened and singed, but not enough to hurt you. While the creature now lies flameless and dead on the ground.
Teddy
Who's next to be quenched?
Zusari
Nice. I will write that down too.
Mabel
I've been working on it. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
Narrator
Pips, you're up. Barnaby are undone.
Pips
All right. Since I Mabel's unduck got hurt, as he comes back, I am going to heal him for 40 hit points.
Zusari
Yay.
Narrator
Okay, use another.
Pips
I'm going to use another, which is my second. I have four, and it's my second one.
Narrator
Okay. It should be 50, actually. That's an old.
Pips
Oh, got it. Okay, 50 you heal 50 you heal 50 there.
Narrator
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Pips
You're so welcome.
Narrator
All right, that finishes your go there. That's your item using your turn. Mabel, you're up with Barnaby on deck.
Mabel
I can't do anything.
Teddy
That's right.
Narrator
You can still use an item if you got one.
Mabel
Oh, I don't have an item. I don't.
Narrator
Then you can defend if you want to, which doubles your defense.
Mabel
I will defend.
Narrator
All right, so use the defend action. So until your next turn, your defense is now 14. So if you take any physical damage.
Mabel
Oh, so nothing with my magic defense.
Narrator
Nothing with magic defense. But it defends your physical attacks.
Mabel
Okay, got it.
Narrator
All right, cool. So that finishes your go. Barnaby, you're up.
Pips
Come on, Barnaby.
Barnaby
Oh, what shall I do?
Narrator
And then.
Barnaby
Yeah, I'll. Oh, yes, I will. And I throw my boomerang in between my legs and try to catch it. I'm gonna be 18 to hit.
Narrator
18 hits.
Barnaby
Wonderful. Oh me, oh my. 19 damage.
Narrator
19 damage to the one in the middle. Yeah, you carve through it. You watch as the flame like, like a small burst of fire and it's like blackened form of the salamander underneath, just drops on the ground. Smoke billows out from it hits. And you boomerang, you catch it back.
Barnaby
That shall satiate my boomerang for a little bit.
Narrator
Don't ask.
Barnaby
Don't ask.
Narrator
Awesome. Finishing your turn, the Salamander is now going to try and dive bomb you. As you're down in the lower position, it's going to try and rocket back towards you. That's going to be a 19 to hit.
Mabel
Oh, snap.
Narrator
So with a dive bomb attack, that's going to be 13 points of damage against you.
Mabel
For defense or for defense.
Narrator
Oh, wait, you defended. So it's 14. You take no damage. So as it darts towards you, you put up a full defensive position. Just knock it. Deflect it off.
Mabel
Yeah, I didn't even need to do anything.
Narrator
All right, Zusari, you're up with Teddy on deck.
Mabel
Okay, cool.
Zusari
Yeah, I've tried to attack the last one. Yeah, I can actually attack him. 17.
Narrator
17 hits. Go to the damage. Yeah.
Zusari
17. 17 damage.
Narrator
17 damage. Yeah. That snuffs it with your final blows as you pummel it down with the tonfas and they all fall and collapse to the ground. Your foes now lying ruined that antenna. Yay.
Mabel
Good job with the sticks over there.
Zusari
That was pretty well good job with the hammer. I mean, those things were like no match against you.
Mabel
Oh, thank you.
Zusari
Well, formidable. You're very affordable. Very fortunate.
Mabel
Yes.
Zusari
And affordable.
Mabel
I don't know about that. I'm pretty expensive myself.
Pips
Hey, I have a question. I found this fire Lizard orb and I already have a lot of fire stuff. Does somebody want this?
Teddy
What does it do?
Pips
So when embedded into a weapon and imbues your weapon with the fire lizard lizard rune. And the fired lizard rune. When you deal damage with this weapon, it deals plus 2d8 damage.
Zusari
Oh, wow.
Pips
But then you take 1d8 damage.
Mabel
I don't fuck with magic.
Teddy
I was gonna say, who can take 1d8 damage?
Barnaby
I mean, I will never turn down and drink it.
Pips
Yeah. I feel like this will be cool on your part of it.
Zusari
I deserve it.
Pips
It'll be cool on your boomerang power inside of it.
Narrator
My boomerang broke.
Zusari
Don't sell it though.
Mabel
It speaks to me.
Barnaby
Thank you.
Pips
You're welcome.
Barnaby
I appreciate that.
Teddy
Now you have a fire boomerang.
Narrator
Yes.
Pips
Yeah.
Narrator
I gotta ask. Is it like a two.
Teddy
Is it like a two boomerang or is it like the Nerf triple blade boomerang?
Barnaby
I've been thrown another arm when I attached the rune.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
So cool.
Narrator
I was just like.
Teddy
Do you remember the nerf one? There's like three.
Narrator
I'm the unified Nerf armies of the Southwest.
Mabel
I know you told us not to ask, but like, does your boomerang eat or something?
Barnaby
Does it eat?
Mabel
How do you deal with it?
Barnaby
Because it doesn't eat. It devours. It devours in battle. Yes. Thank you.
Teddy
Does it tell you that you look great?
Barnaby
Oh, it speaks to me.
Zusari
That's the mirror.
Barnaby
It's got a mouth or something?
Mabel
No.
Barnaby
Oh, no.
Pips
You just hear it?
Barnaby
Oh, yes.
Pips
How do you know it's speaking to you?
Barnaby
Oh, because whenever it comes back, it says things to me.
Zusari
Wow. What kind of things?
Barnaby
You're next.
Zusari
Oh, that's very, very pleasant.
Mabel
To you, you mean?
Barnaby
Yes.
Mabel
Okay. Yeah.
Teddy
Yeah.
Barnaby
Well, I'm assuming I'm its next owner.
Mabel
Yes. Which I am.
Zusari
As it's saying, it's.
Barnaby
And then I catch it right before it goes right into my neck.
Mabel
I don't know.
Zusari
Yes.
Barnaby
Oh, yes. And I'm glad I give it more battle.
Zusari
Your reflexes are very good.
Mabel
Yeah.
Pips
Really good.
Teddy
I kind of question some of your relationship decisions right now, but other than that, I think we're pretty good.
Barnaby
It has never done me wrong in battle before. I don't think it will.
Zusari
You are such a.
Barnaby
Thank you so much. I would love. Let me regal you with the town one time.
Teddy
I'm going to start walking over the door.
Narrator
As this starts, these fiery salamanders upon destruction also drop 250 potch each.
Zusari
Oh, nice.
Narrator
So at 750 you can distribute as you feel see fit. As well as someone roll 3D twenties for me each.
Mabel
Right? So it'd be 750.
Teddy
I'll do three 3D twenties.
Narrator
Well, I'm sorry. Each of the salamanders. So 750 total. Yeah.
Teddy
Divided by five, ten. Three and three.
Narrator
All right. Then that's all you find is the potch.
Teddy
Ah, boo babies we all get, huh?
Pips
150.
Barnaby
Oh, yeah.
Mabel
Good.
Barnaby
I was just making sure I knew It.
Pips
Well, I just used a calculator.
Narrator
Oh. So now I'll have 250 punch.
Mabel
We have 250.
Teddy
All of us have 250 each at this point.
Pips
Well, I know you have 100. You have the extra spoon.
Mabel
Oh, I do.
Narrator
I have 350.
Teddy
Thank you.
Narrator
That's right.
Barnaby
Why are you making a boomerang that eats you?
Narrator
More powerful.
Barnaby
Oh, he doesn't eat me.
Zusari
Clearly.
Narrator
Yeah. He's still here saying, like, I'm not.
Barnaby
Sure what you think.
Teddy
It's just a toxic relationship at this point.
Barnaby
Thank you. Thank you. Doesn't have toxic powers yet, but I'm okay.
Mabel
All right, how are we going to get me off this platform right now?
Narrator
I hear a strange rumble from the other side of this massive doorway.
Pips
I wonder what that is.
Narrator
And also feel a bit of a impact in the stone. And another sound that you've not heard before, kind of like a.
Mabel
I don't like the sound of that. I'm going to be honest. It does not sound friendly, especially since I can't move. If this thing barrels down the door at me, I'm screwed.
Teddy
I'm going to walk towards the door.
Narrator
Okay.
Teddy
What kind of lock do we have on this thing?
Narrator
It looks like some sort of a heavy metal bar mechanism that holds it shut from the walls themselves. Two bars emerge from the side of the stone walls that are holding it shut underneath, like bars that are set into it.
Teddy
All right, I'm going to go to the side to see if there's a mechanism or something to. Yeah, man.
Pips
Can I look under the door?
Narrator
18. The mechanism that holds it shut. There's nothing else in this doorway that connotates to you that the way to open it is present.
Pips
Can I peek under the door, see if I can see anything?
Narrator
Yeah, you get low and peek underneath, and you can see shadows moving. And you hear the sound. It's like shadows move and it's like something gets in and the door impacts from that side. And you hear.
Mabel
All right, we really gotta find a way to get me off this platform right now.
Barnaby
I think it needs the mirror. And I try to stuff it under the door.
Narrator
The mirror says, oh, no. Okay.
Barnaby
All right, well, that means something. All right, maybe.
Pips
Maybe we just open the door and get out of the way and then.
Narrator
I wasn't on fire, right?
Barnaby
Yeah, but that's actually great idea.
Teddy
I don't think the door opens right now.
Narrator
Oh, you don't know where the mechanism. There's no mechanism present to open it.
Pips
Oh, it's not. We can't Lift the bars. I understand.
Narrator
Yeah.
Pips
Okay, let's try.
Teddy
We haven't been around the side. Let's see if there's something around the side.
Mabel
Yeah. If we all hop off the platform really quick, maybe we can get out of the way.
Teddy
I'm just gonna grab you and pull you off the platform at full speed.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
As you all leave the platform behind you. As you all trek by this hall here.
Mabel
Man, you're strong, eh?
Narrator
You give me my hammer.
Teddy
You're very small.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
Coming down this long hall, there is another set of bar door there.
Mabel
I guess so.
Narrator
That is similar to the one that you had destroyed earlier.
Mabel
Oh, interesting.
Barnaby
Looks like we have the key.
Narrator
Hmm.
Mabel
Looks like I've got to smash another door. Here we go, baby. Yeah.
Zusari
Smash the door, Mabel.
Teddy
Backing up.
Narrator
Go ahead and roll D20 and add your strength.
Pips
Come on.
Narrator
16.
Mabel
With my strength plus three.
Narrator
19.
Pips
Nice.
Narrator
The first hit causes the whole door to inward. And your hammer gets kind of wedged. You have to put your foot up and pull it free. And one more heavy hit causes it to burst open and revealing the interior.
Pips
You're so cool.
Mabel
Thank you. I know, man. This rules.
Teddy
Honestly, they're not being learned.
Mabel
I'm going to be honest. I didn't expect that to happen. This is sick.
Narrator
That tumbles off there. You find on the inside here, there's chunks of rubble. There are two chests, and it looks to be a purple stone that is pulsing and glowing in the middle. That has a similar shape to what you saw in one of the doors earlier. But this one is embedded in the ground.
Mabel
Oh, it's one of those math things. Go ahead and do that.
Teddy
Those math things?
Mabel
Yeah. You were putting together math or something.
Teddy
It was me.
Barnaby
I don't want to take the spotlight, but don't mind if I do. And I'll try to mess with it.
Narrator
Okay. You walk up to it and approach the symbol and see the pulsing stone. You realize as you approach, it's not the shape of the first door you entered. It was the shape that you had seen in the door that you originally broken. Like a slot where it can be almost placed in to situate it. But it is built into the ground.
Barnaby
This is different. I'm sorry, what are we talking about?
Mabel
Why don't you read again or something?
Barnaby
Wait, I have this scroll. I'll take out a scroll. It's magical.
Mabel
Oh, get that away from me.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
I'll back it out.
Zusari
While you read that, can I try to like. I don't want to remove it, but can I try to spin it. So I see if it's removable.
Narrator
It slides as soon as you turn it. And as it goes, you hear in the distance the sounds of shifting stone. Somewhere down that way, I think the door is opened.
Teddy
Let's check these treasure chests really quickly. I'm feeling good about them. All right, I'm going to lift up the one on the left.
Zusari
And I'll lift up the other.
Narrator
Okay. You open both of them. I need you both to roll a D20 and add your dexterity bonus.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
19, 20.
Narrator
19, 20. You both barely jump out of the way as suddenly, both of them blast a massive cloud of purple black. Some sort of weird ichor fume that fills the space. And you all back away and cover your mouths. Whoa.
Mabel
There you go.
Narrator
Hits the walls and leaves a strange mildew almost residue on it before it dissipates. The air still smells bad, but it's enough to the point where you have cloth covering your face you can push through. And the interior of the chests are laid bare. You have in one of them two antidotes. Oh, nice.
Mabel
I'm at the end of the hallway already.
Barnaby
Thank you.
Teddy
And one for you.
Pips
Sure.
Narrator
And the other one is a set of leather armor.
Mabel
What happened in there? Let's see what happened in there. Is there stuff in there?
Teddy
No, nothing.
Mabel
Okay.
Teddy
Leather armor just kind of. Just adds. That does it. All right.
Zusari
Take it.
Teddy
I was gonna say. Anybody need a little armor or are we all feeling good?
Barnaby
I mean, I'm pretty. I could use it. I don't have. Oh, I do have, technically, body armor.
Narrator
I'll actually say just replace what you have on there.
Teddy
Yeah, I'll actually say, since I'm kind of a. I'm front lining, so.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Mabel
Are you carrying out spoils up there? Yep. You know, I got low defense, actually, so if you find any armor, just let me know.
Narrator
No problem.
Teddy
I'll let you know.
Narrator
You all hear the flames in the other chamber. The familiar sound of that trap triggering. Immediately followed by do the wrong ones. As you all begin to collect around the side, you see running past the hall smoking what looks to be a bipedal, smallish sized kobold. A dog person that has scrappy armor, what looks like some sort of a labrador type snout, what looks to be some sort of hooked scimitar sword in one hand, and it's patting the flames out of its. As it looks back to you. Your help. Your help pulls his blade back. And you watch as a strange shape begins to slowly drift around the corner as a massive crescent moon with A human face. Just one enters the room. Its eyes slowly turn to the rest of you. And we're going to go to break. JRPG's got them weird enemies.
Mabel
I love it.
Narrator
We'll be back here in a few minutes. We'll see you guys here shortly.
Pips
Oh, hey there, Laura Bailey, here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories. Our stores are filled with the basics like character inspired T shirts, dice sets, and pins, as well as more specialty items like fancy jackets, puzzles featuring gorgeous artwork, the comfiest joggers in pajamas ever, and much, much more. There's also a few special items that support charity efforts, like our dedicated Critical Role foundation merch. You can check out all of our regional online stores by visiting the shop tab on critrole.com or head straight to the US store at shop.critrole.com Every purchase helps support our shows and the stories we tell. Speaking of which, let's get back to the story.
Narrator
And welcome back. So as we left off, you all as a troop were inspecting the side of the room. You had unlocked the distant door in the chambers, which set off the flaming trap as some sort of a dog kobold humanoid creature stumbled out, patting its flames down, looked towards you for help, said, help, Grebek. Help Grebek. And began to bark in the direction as a strange, terrifying massive crescent moon with a face floated into the hall and stared at all of you with its open, vacant eyes.
Mabel
Is that a moon?
Narrator
And that's where we're gonna go ahead and jump into this battle.
Zusari
An automaton of some sort.
Narrator
Here we go. And as part of this. Oh, boy, Walt, you have a new ally in your troop.
Zusari
Hey, hey.
Narrator
Gremik pulls out his axe and his shield.
Mabel
His name's Grimmik.
Narrator
Grimmik, is it? Grimmick? Help, Grimmik. Help Grimmik.
Mabel
I thought that was a different language.
Narrator
So one of you or you can take turns controlling Grec as your the sixth member of your party.
Mabel
Oh, that's so sick. Yo, Gremic's my best buddy right now.
Barnaby
We got a little money on him.
Pips
As he's got 150 pops.
Mabel
Oh, wait, hold on. What?
Barnaby
A donation to him?
Mabel
Why don't you try to sell him something?
Narrator
What is that?
Mabel
Oh, my gosh. Oh.
Narrator
Welcome to my drug.
Zusari
Look at his lips.
Mabel
You got lips?
Narrator
You have entered the realm of Mr. Venus.
Mabel
Closer, please.
Narrator
All right, so 2020-15. Anybody?
Zusari
22.
Narrator
22 is a second.
Teddy
18.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Narrator
All right. And Teddy?
Pips
So Teddy's up.
Narrator
No susari. Then Teddy. 15 to 10.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
Crickets. 10 to 5.
Mabel
6.
Barnaby
5.
Mabel
Okay. I'm not a good roll, Barnaby.
Barnaby
Oh, yeah, not a good roll.
Pips
So Mabel. Mabel's next.
Narrator
It's Mabel, Mabel, then Barnaby. Pippi, what'd you get?
Pips
I rolled a two.
Narrator
All right, Pips. All right, Pips. And then who wants to roll for Grimmick?
Pips
Okay, I'll roll for Grimmick. That's a four plus two.
Narrator
Strange.
Zusari
Four.
Narrator
So grimmnic.
Zusari
That's a four.
Narrator
It's going to be right before you, Pips. I think that's a four.
Teddy
Grim them.
Pips
I feel like you have a bit about this, about some Grimmicks.
Barnaby
Oh, yikes. Is it.
Pips
Let me see.
Barnaby
It's my other gimmick dice.
Mabel
It's like.
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
I was like, what is happening?
Narrator
No, no, no.
Barnaby
It's about spin top dice, which is.
Pips
The one that I use a lot.
Narrator
That doesn't.
Pips
I can't read. That's a four, right?
Barnaby
Oh, this is so hard to read.
Pips
See, I saw.
Narrator
This is who she is.
Teddy
This is who the she is.
Barnaby
I guess the smallest possible die I've ever seen. It is a four for sure.
Pips
I stole one of Sams because I took all.
Narrator
That is a four. Yes.
Pips
Okay, okay, okay. So that. That's a two.
Narrator
You got smaller dice than that.
Mabel
All right.
Barnaby
Oh, my God.
Pips
I do. I have two.
Narrator
So sorry. You're up first.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
With Teddy on deck.
Pips
Wait, so Gremik is.
Narrator
When Gremik is right before you got it.
Zusari
I'm gonna try to attack this thing. Poke it in the eye.
Narrator
Let's go.
Zusari
It's got that eye. Maybe I can blind it. Throw him off.
Mabel
What do you think?
Narrator
23. Definitely hits.
Zusari
Yeah.
Mabel
Sick, dude.
Zusari
Oh, wait, I wrote a 19.
Narrator
That's a grit.
Mabel
Yeah. Let's go.
Zusari
1530.
Teddy
No, no, it can't be.
Narrator
It's a little too 30 points of damage. All right. Yeah.
Barnaby
I don't know what horror is this?
Narrator
So as you rush forward, Tom is out.
Mabel
Whack.
Narrator
Crack the moon just kind of. The eyes shift onto you and get a little wider. Its big, bushy brows kind of one curls up upward. You've drawn its attention.
Zusari
Okay.
Mabel
Oh, that's not good.
Teddy
It only has one eyebrow, too, so.
Narrator
This is real bad. All right, that finishes your turn. Teddy, you're up.
Mabel
I didn't.
Zusari
I unsuccessfully poked its. Tried to poke its eye out. It didn't work.
Barnaby
It seems to like you.
Teddy
All right, I'm gonna go for the eye. I'm gonna go with a straight, full running punch. Come on. That's a 1567. 18, 19, 19 hits and it's in my crit.
Narrator
Yeah, I'll go crit again. Let's go.
Teddy
Hey, where's my D8s, though? There we are. Come on. Oh, that's not bad. Eight size. 17. 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 25 times 250 points of damage. Rolled real good.
Narrator
All right, so two heavy impacts to it. You see, its defense kind of shunks off some of it, but it still takes heavy hits from. From both of them. Its eyes get wider and begin to glow as finishing. That brings it to Mr. Venus.
Mabel
Turn, Mr. Venus. Dude.
Narrator
Mr. Venus eyes begin to float as he begins to shake and shimmer. His whole body begins to emit this strange, terrifying light. You feel this piercing pain in the middle of your brain as this low hum gets louder and louder.
Pips
I don't like it. I don't like it.
Narrator
You watch as the light begins to to spin around it, and suddenly, dozens of crescent energy moons flying off cut through all of you. So that Kremic.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Narrator
Does a 14 miss anybody?
Teddy
No, no, no.
Narrator
All of you take.
Mabel
Oh, I hear a lot of it all. What do you have? 47.
Barnaby
Oh, wonderful.
Narrator
20 points of magic damage to everybody.
Pips
So as these crescents I minus six.
Narrator
Correct.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
You reduce your magic defense from the damage.
Pips
And you said how many?
Teddy
20.
Mabel
Yeah. Oh, I'm all over the magic defense. This is my worst nightmare that's happening right now.
Zusari
Especially.
Mabel
That hurt my boy Gremic over there. You okay, Gremic?
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
All right. I'm good. You're good?
Pips
Oh, okay.
Narrator
Mark that for Gremix as well. All right, finishing Mr. Venus's turn. That's you, Mabel.
Mabel
Oh, this moon is about to get smacked in the nose. I jump up and I straddle its moon chin, and then I go to whack it right in the nose.
Narrator
Hell, yeah. Go ahead and roll an attack. 10 plus your accuracy.
Mabel
4.
Narrator
14. That hits. Go to roll damage.
Teddy
14 nose.
Mabel
Oh, man. 17.
Narrator
17 damage.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
Alrighty. Heavy crack. It impacts, but this is a fairly fortified moon face. And the hammer kind of bong hits it and kind of resonates, but still takes a hit. But it almost seems to shuck off half the damage. Oh, it's got a fairly high defense for some of the things you fought already. Oh, boy. That finishes your turn. That brings us to Barnaby.
Mabel
All right, I'm doing a cool flip off the chin and back into place.
Barnaby
What a move. What a move.
Mabel
What'd you think, Gremik? Do you think that Was cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell, yeah. Can't wait to see what you do.
Barnaby
All right, well, we'll see if this does anything. And I'll. I'll just, like, chuck this boomerang at it again. Flaming boomerang. Yes, my new flaming boomerang with a new. I don't know what the boomerang tails are called. It has a tail. That's another one. Wonderful. Nat1.
Pips
Oh, no.
Narrator
Oh, no.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
Now that is its counter range is just a one. One of them.
Barnaby
Oh, it's just a one.
Narrator
So as your meringue flies towards it, its eyes shoot up to it, and the meringue just stops in the middle of the air. And it moves its eyes as the boomerang shifts with its view. And then light begins to apparate from the boomerang.
Zusari
Oh, no.
Narrator
Oh, no.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
And a moonbeam fires from it towards you.
Barnaby
It turned my boomerang evil.
Narrator
However, it rolls a natural two for a six. What's your evasion? 1111. The Moonbeam coasts past you. No impact.
Barnaby
Yeah, I'll flip slow down, put my shield down. And in that kind of movement, it blows past me. Power behind it.
Narrator
If I eventually come back up as being like, full on Kamehameha, I blast. It just slowly dissipates. You get up, run over, grab your.
Barnaby
Boom, you should be back. So I threw that. I didn't deal damage with it. So do I still take the 1D8 or.
Narrator
No, you still take 1D8.
Barnaby
Okay, I'll pick it up and instantly, like 100 images of hellfire, it goes to my head and I go, oh, that's bad. And I'll take. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Do I take. I just take the straight D8? Yeah. I don't minus anything. Okay.
Narrator
It is not reduced by armor. Okay, Sorry. Oh, no. This is.
Barnaby
Okay.
Mabel
Why'd you hit. What the hell was that all about?
Barnaby
We'll integrate this later into my life when we get rid of this moon thing. And he's like, looking at me.
Narrator
Are you in kahoots with the moon thing?
Barnaby
You're throwing moons in him, and he's throwing moons back. It made my boomerang evil. It's in moon shape.
Mabel
It's more like a moonarang.
Narrator
It is very external moon.
Pips
Reg's is gonna use his axe.
Narrator
Let's go, Gremix. Gremix rules.
Pips
All right, 1212 hits.
Narrator
His vision is 10. Yes. He's a big moon.
Pips
So he's a 2D eight plus six. Okay, where's my. This is a.
Narrator
This is an eight.
Pips
All right, we got a four. We got an eight plus six.
Narrator
18. 18. 10 points of damage. All right. So big old carves into it with the axe. Axe hits to see, like, a little crack kind of appears in the form. The axe is wedged free, almost like stumbles back as the eyes follow as it goes.
Pips
Who wants to take Remic next?
Narrator
I'll take Hermic. Finishing remix.
Teddy
Go counterclockwise.
Narrator
Pips, you're up.
Pips
Okay. All right, I am going to take out my bow, and I'm gonna take a shot briefly.
Narrator
Australian.
Pips
Oh, I'm gonna use. I'm gonna use one of my flaming arrows.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
Oh, okay.
Pips
So nice to the call. So I do mark one of those 12 plus magic. 16.
Narrator
16 hits.
Pips
Yeah.
Narrator
So Gunwall, that is 5D. 6 plus 8 damage.
Pips
Okay. Okay.
Teddy
So.
Pips
11. 11, 5. 16.
Narrator
Yep.
Pips
6.
Narrator
Damn.
Pips
What was I at? 22. 16. 22. 4. 20.
Teddy
26.
Pips
26.
Narrator
I mean, that was. Those five there.
Pips
That was five.
Narrator
Okay, great. So 26 plus 8.
Pips
Yes.
Narrator
Dang.
Zusari
Nice.
Pips
Yes, plus 8.
Teddy
Solid.
Barnaby
Nice.
Narrator
All righty. 34 points of fire damage, which it has no defense against. So describe to me how you conjure these flame arrows to hit it.
Pips
I just. Wait, why am I going into Fearne? I'm gonna take out one of the arrows and just kind of blow on it.
Narrator
As you do so, the fire rune that's emblazoned in your hand begins to glow and glow. The arrow begins to ignite. Flames begin to burn, but it's contained, almost like a plasma burn on the tip of the arrow. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Mabel
Warn us before you do that. Okay.
Narrator
Neh. It detonates upon Mr. Venus exterior detonation. The eyes flicker towards you, burning red as you see a giant black burn mark on the side of this moon face. That finishes your turn.
Pips
Yes, it does.
Zusari
If you think that was the right course of action, just say, I do too.
Pips
I do, too.
Narrator
Sorry, you're up.
Zusari
Is it possible to distract or otherwise get its attention?
Narrator
If you want to try.
Zusari
Okay. Can I borrow your mirror?
Barnaby
Oh, absolutely.
Zusari
So can I try holding up his mirror to the eye of the creature to draw its attention?
Narrator
Sure.
Zusari
Potentially to itself.
Narrator
Hold up the mirror, and the mirror goes. My God. And Mr. Venus is currently focused on Pips. Over here. Goes.
Zusari
Yeah.
Narrator
All right. That finishes your goat.
Teddy
I'm kind of beat up, so I'm just gonna take a step back and pop open a little potion and take a swig, because I am not there.
Narrator
Medicine.
Mabel
Yeah.
Teddy
And that's the only thing I Can do there.
Narrator
Correct. Use medicine as your actual. That turn. All right, thank you. And that brings us Mr. Venus's turn. Mr. Venus, who's now focused on you, is going to. Suddenly, that little part of space in front of it begins to build up, much like your boomerang was the focus earlier, except now it's getting larger and larger and intense. Oh, boy. Before this massive moonbeam of energy just comes towards you, carving through you, because it hits everything in the column.
Mabel
Oh, wow.
Teddy
Okay. I'm glad I took that potion.
Narrator
Both of you. That's going to be a 15 to hit, which I think. All righty. So that's going to be 4D12.
Mabel
Oh, that was crazy.
Narrator
4D12 is a lot.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
35 points of magic damage to both of you. Okay.
Barnaby
Oh, yikes.
Mabel
My mirror.
Narrator
The beam slowly fades, and you pull back, and the mirror is intact. There's just black soot covered. As you pull back, it goes. Help me.
Barnaby
Adding to its value.
Mabel
Wonderful.
Barnaby
Great idea.
Narrator
I love that.
Zusari
Well, that didn't work. All right, kind of did.
Narrator
Maybe it'll eat up with. Right on.
Mabel
Right on.
Narrator
I got my.
Mabel
That hurt. Well, heck, I guess I'll just run at it and try to smack it in the eyeball because it keeps looking at us weird. So I'm gonna run up and go for it.
Narrator
Go ahead and roll an attack.
Mabel
One.
Narrator
Just as the one beam begins to slow and vanish, you rush forward in the eyes. The second one appears and rockets off towards you, trying to envelop you, and it's terrifying energy that's only gonna to be an 8 to hit you.
Mabel
13.
Narrator
13. You rush forward, and as you miss, you also slide low and actually glide beneath it as the beam just passes over you, burning backward to the point where Pips has to duck below it before it takes your head off and just carves off and sears off a part of the nearby wall as bits of stone fall because of it. And then you manage to get your hammer back up and back into your defensive space.
Mabel
Not today, Moon Man.
Narrator
That's the thing. Barnaby, you're up. Oh, my conduct.
Barnaby
Listen, Mabel, you have looked better when I've seen you earlier, so I will. I don't have potions. I'm sorry. And I'll take a, like, a gray rag out from under my robe, and it's sopping wet. It's dripping it out. I'll wring it out like this. I'll run over to you and, like, press on your foot like a garbage can, and I'll try to wring it out into your mouth. And I'll try to heal you. This is the best way to dispense medicine.
Mabel
Yo, Barn.
Narrator
I know.
Mabel
We're cool.
Narrator
I know.
Barnaby
Open wide. This is ginseng and clover.
Mabel
Magical. Those are good herbs, man.
Narrator
The dish is good. It tastes like.
Mabel
I don't know. I keep my mouth closed.
Barnaby
No, it's all right. And I'll try to show.
Narrator
I hold your nose closed. Awesome.
Mabel
And I'll heal you for 50.
Narrator
50 hit points. You heal. Nice. Awesome. That finishes. Barnaby's gonna. That is now Gremix, go with Pips on deck.
Pips
Gremic, take a shot.
Teddy
Oh.
Mabel
Oh. Go, Gremic.
Barnaby
Yeah, he will.
Narrator
I'm doing good. Come, come.
Barnaby
Thank you.
Mabel
Thank you.
Barnaby
And then he will take a shot. 11 plus. It's 9 plus 2.
Narrator
Oh. 9 plus 2. 11. 11 hits. It's. Oh, sorry. It's 10. Good.
Teddy
No.
Mabel
Nice job, Gremic.
Barnaby
And Grimmick says.
Narrator
I'm sorry. Good boy.
Mabel
Good boy.
Barnaby
11 damage.
Narrator
11 damage. Yep.
Teddy
Himeka, did that even seem like it did anything?
Narrator
Barely. The axe hits, and it carves a little cut across. But there is a defense boundary that is cutting through each of these hits, but it's taking damage. And you can see with each hit, it's starting to show wear and tear. Mr. Venus is looking on the side of damaged.
Mabel
I pat Gremick on the back and say it's a war of attrition, buddy. You got this.
Pips
You got this.
Narrator
Gremic appreciates the backup.
Mabel
Yeah, you got it.
Narrator
Finishing Pips, you're up with Zusaria on deck.
Zusari
Yes.
Pips
All right. I just rolled a 19.
Zusari
Yay.
Pips
So it's a crit.
Narrator
That's a crit. No rolling anecdote.
Pips
If I do Flaming Arrow, does that crit still count?
Narrator
Usually you say what you're going to attack with first and then roll the hit.
Pips
Sorry.
Narrator
Supposed to roll the hit and choose. So if that was with your bow.
Pips
Yeah.
Narrator
Then we'll just go with the bow damage on that. And then next time, you can go ahead and say, if you wanted, I'm doing Flaming Arrow. We're doing Flaming Arrow to begin with.
Pips
Yeah. So then the crit would be canceled.
Narrator
Right. There's. Well, in this instance, yeah, the crits magic doesn't deal. Crit damage, that's just for the weapon.
Pips
Got it. All right. I'm still going to go with Flaming arrow. That's fine. So 19 plus 4. 23.
Narrator
That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage for that. 5d6 plus 8.
Pips
5D6 plus 8.
Narrator
Okay.
Pips
Here we go. 4, 6, 10, 2, 12, 3, 15, and 5.
Narrator
So 28 points of damage.
Pips
Oh, 20. Oh, yeah. 28.
Narrator
28 points of damage. As you release the secondary flaming arrow, fire it off. It blows up on the side and you watch part of its chin hit the ground and its eyes now go bright white and you. You hear this dull shrieking sound. Its mouth is still closed. It's terrifying.
Teddy
Yep.
Narrator
It's just wide eyed and screaming with its mouth closed.
Barnaby
Hey, Mr. Venus.
Mabel
I feel the same way about magic.
Narrator
Okay, does that finish your turn?
Pips
Yes, it does.
Narrator
All right, so sorry, you're up with Teddy on deck.
Zusari
I'm going to go ahead and just heal, so I'm just going to use my action to heal.
Narrator
All right, so you heal 50.
Zusari
Yes, please.
Teddy
I can't do anything else. I'm gonna go in for an attack. I'm just gonna try and put my fist up its nostril.
Zusari
Let's go.
Teddy
Come on. That's 14 to hit.
Narrator
14 hits. Go damage.
Teddy
All right, do the damage. Come on, come on, come on.
Zusari
14, 16.
Teddy
24 points of damage.
Narrator
24 damage. Oh, you Owen Little fist combo. Oh, God.
Teddy
It's gross in the air.
Narrator
It's gross.
Teddy
It's green cheese.
Narrator
Oh, green cheese. The Mr. Venus moon is like it's barely holding itself up, but it is furious. Its eyes are now emitting this bright headlight light. That finishes your turn.
Teddy
Yeah, I think I made it mad.
Narrator
It's Mr. Venus's turn. It's gonna do another crescent storm.
Zusari
To be fair, Pips angered it first.
Narrator
Really is. That is going to be an 18, which I think hit hits everybody.
Pips
Yar.
Mabel
So all of you take magic damage.
Narrator
This is magic damage. Yeah.
Teddy
There's so many dice.
Narrator
19 points of magic damage to everybody as those crescents fire outward and carve through the entire room.
Teddy
Okay.
Narrator
Okay. Eventually the pain subsides and you all like bleed out a little bit.
Barnaby
I'm feeling great.
Narrator
That finishes Mr. Venus is go. Mabel, you're up.
Mabel
I'm going to jab this dude right in the empty chin. Let's go.
Narrator
Rolling a tag, baby. Let's go.
Mabel
Eight plus zero, right?
Narrator
Plus four. That's for your attack accuracy. Okay, that's a 12.
Mabel
12 hits.
Narrator
Roll damage. Nice. Let's go.
Mabel
Oh, seven plus two plus 11. That's math.
Narrator
20 says 21. How do you want to do that?
Barnaby
As you finish it off, Describe how.
Narrator
You kill Mr. Venus.
Mabel
All right, so I go and I go for the whack right on the empty chin thing. And I go and I Smack it. And then as it hits the chin, it just starts splitting down the middle as I'm following it all the way up.
Narrator
As you carve upward, uppercut. It's moon body cracks like some sort of stone, like porcelain exterior. And as your hammer carves up to the center of it and it tears open, there's just a dark red, muscly, fleshy interior. Just muscle tendrils that emanate from it. A horrendous combination of visuals as you carve through its body, and then the two pieces hit the ground and then burn away into ash.
Mabel
In the slow motion. In the slow motion, I'm like, grow.
Teddy
There's your chance for one liner. You got a one liner.
Zusari
Oh, yes. Yes.
Teddy
Come on. Oh, I believe in you.
Mabel
Now. You're half the moon you used to be.
Pips
Sun's coming up.
Barnaby
Take some of this.
Zusari
That's your last phase.
Narrator
Good one.
Pips
Good one.
Narrator
That's a good one, too. Hey, thanks for helping Remick. Came to sneak in. Find traitor. No, only find creepy moon thing. Other monster. Thanks for helping Remick. What you doing?
Barnaby
Finite.
Mabel
I mean, pretty much the same thing. Remake. I've got to be honest.
Barnaby
We're looking for the treasure, too, man.
Narrator
Well, Gremik work with you. Find treasure with Gremik. Sure.
Mabel
Yeah. Yeah. Hell, yeah. All right. He's cool as hell.
Narrator
Cool.
Zusari
I quite like Gremic.
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
Hey, Gremic's sick.
Zusari
Good.
Mabel
Spirited.
Pips
All right, sidebar. What if he's wanting the treasure and then we're also supposed to get the treasure for Alex? We can't give him the treasure. So should we just kill him now?
Teddy
No, no, no.
Narrator
You're talking about killing grebit. Grebit, get over there real quick. Okay, I'm not gonna start sharpening his axe.
Pips
I just. I mean, we're not gonna heal Gremit.
Zusari
There's six of us.
Teddy
Yeah, there's just gonna be five of.
Narrator
Us, and one of them turns out to be useful. We'll just.
Teddy
We'll give him a cut of some of what we pick up, but, like, the big thing, that's already been taken care of, okay? There's lots of us.
Zusari
Not a lot of.
Pips
He helped.
Narrator
He totally helps.
Zusari
We technically saved, I think. Honor. Well, he's honor bound to be in us.
Teddy
We gotta be fair.
Narrator
It's always fair.
Pips
Here's a cute pup.
Mabel
Oh, is he just gonna follow us around everywhere we go now? Is that what you're saying?
Pips
Maybe. He's so cute.
Narrator
Life dead situation.
Teddy
It's a good dog.
Narrator
Yes.
Barnaby
Oh, yes. It's like. The brevity of it is actually quite, quite nice.
Mabel
This is how we found you. Grammic, you look great. Over there.
Zusari
Where's that mirror? Can it tell him.
Barnaby
Oh, yes, of course.
Teddy
Wait, you have the mirror.
Zusari
I do.
Mabel
Look. All right, all right.
Narrator
You look great.
Zusari
There.
Narrator
Wonderful.
Mabel
I have an idea. I have an idea.
Narrator
Five bucks.
Zusari
Five potch.
Mabel
What are bucks?
Barnaby
You want to give him five bull deer?
Mabel
That's what I call potch.
Barnaby
I call him bots per buck.
Teddy
It's just, you have to do the conversion.
Zusari
Right.
Pips
Five bucks is worse.
Teddy
It's 12 and a half.
Mabel
I mean, what do you say?
Barnaby
We are looking for, like, a. A rune of immeasurable strength? I think you'll get off with five botch.
Zusari
Well, yeah.
Mabel
I mean, you. What do you have, three?
Barnaby
Don't lick my hand.
Narrator
Right?
Teddy
No, Mabel, I was gonna give you this armor, but now I just don't really, like. I just don't really know if it's really worthwhile.
Mabel
Why don't we give it to Grimmik?
Teddy
I'm not gonna give Grimmick the armor.
Mabel
Well, I mean, we gotta give him something if he helps out.
Barnaby
I don't want to kill this guy.
Narrator
We're not gonna kill a dog.
Mabel
Grimmick.
Teddy
Grimmick.
Barnaby
I have something.
Narrator
Shh.
Barnaby
Give me your hands. Let me see your hands. This is a magical item. It is called a sealant. And I try to put his fingers in the finger trap. There you are.
Narrator
He's just like.
Teddy
Everyone kind of has tangling.
Pips
I would chew on him.
Mabel
That wouldn't be my first response.
Barnaby
I have already chewed on him. He's actually chewing on the thing that.
Teddy
I did earlier, so here, just put that on. You're making me nervous.
Mabel
Oh, for real?
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
You're right in the front line, and you're tiny, and I just.
Narrator
Yeah.
Zusari
Grimace. What was in the room you were in?
Narrator
Yeah, it's just.
Barnaby
You gotta put.
Narrator
Yeah, just a little extra. Rach, walk away. Next room. Can't open.
Zusari
Doesn't open.
Narrator
No.
Teddy
Have the bars vanished now?
Narrator
Yeah, they vanished. Well, the doors actually burst open now and kind of rushing through. So if you guys move back into this space, do you move past the central floor that you know, I'm going.
Teddy
To hop over the rune.
Narrator
You're going to hop over.
Mabel
Oh, the floor spot. The floor spot.
Narrator
Yeah, go ahead and roll a D20 and add your deck.
Teddy
Well, I was. Okay, sure.
Barnaby
Hey, before we do this, can we.
Mabel
Help Gremik with the trap, please?
Barnaby
Oh, he's not an open. Oh, never mind.
Narrator
He's still going ham at it. Okay. All right.
Barnaby
Come here, come here, come here.
Mabel
What is your.
Pips
Just be calm. Just be calm and just slowly pull it apart.
Narrator
Yeah, great.
Barnaby
All right, I'll push him and twist.
Narrator
And then come up, buddy.
Zusari
Good job.
Mabel
He's so cute.
Narrator
Come on.
Mabel
He's gotta stay with us.
Barnaby
How did you get in here?
Narrator
Opening other side.
Zusari
Oh, there's an exit. Potentially.
Teddy
Okay, I made my jump. So 21.
Narrator
21. You leap off to the side, catch yourself, and you now can look in this chamber.
Teddy
I should really heal again.
Mabel
Whoa. What the hell is that? An aqueduct.
Narrator
So indeed, there is a massive water aqueduct that is just rushing water that comes down this way. There's a portcullis blocking this way. And there is a. Technically, this is a closed off path right there.
Mabel
Oh, is that a portcullis over there?
Narrator
Really quick.
Teddy
Sorry, I'm trying to figure out what.
Pips
If we take the water out?
Narrator
Water's rushing.
Barnaby
If we take it out.
Narrator
Fight the water. Let's go.
Pips
It's gotta. Well, I mean, like, it's gotta exit somewhere. Like if we take the water somewhere very strangely, like if we. If we go out.
Zusari
I did think you meant like if we removed the water.
Barnaby
Yes.
Pips
I'm really sorry. I really said it in a weird way. I mean, take the water as an exit.
Mabel
Oh, like ride the light.
Zusari
I followed you though.
Teddy
I understood that you were riding a.
Pips
Sewer and leave all sorts of.
Narrator
It seems like there's a little place.
Teddy
To dig for stuff over there. Also, did the moon drop anything?
Narrator
The moon did drop 1,000 poch.
Mabel
Oh, sick.
Narrator
Can someone roll a D20 for me, please?
Mabel
Oh, I'll roll it.
Narrator
Let's go.
Mabel
12.
Teddy
£12,000. I'm at 40,000 divided by 1, 2, 3, 4 frozen.
Narrator
Oh, two medicines.
Mabel
Oh, sh. Yeah, I'm rolling. Who wants a medicine?
Teddy
Oh my God, I'm dying.
Mabel
Yeah. All right.
Narrator
Here you go.
Barnaby
Oh, yeah. How is everybody looking?
Mabel
I'll keep this.
Teddy
I've been better.
Barnaby
But you just got medicine.
Teddy
I just got medicine. I'm gonna take it right now. Okay, everyone gets 166. 166. Including. Including our new friend.
Narrator
Thanks. Money, money, money, money.
Zusari
Don't spend it all.
Barnaby
It looks like he is driven by a sense of adventure.
Zusari
Yes.
Mabel
He'S profiting in fun.
Barnaby
Yeah, I think that's why he's here.
Narrator
Pulls the shield off the back and the axe. Shing my.
Mabel
Where?
Narrator
Go now. What? Kill now.
Mabel
Cool as hell.
Barnaby
Yeah, definitely driven by something.
Teddy
Okay, come on over when everyone's ready.
Pips
Let's. Let's Check out some of this stuff.
Barnaby
Sorry.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
Okay. How about we do this? All right. I gotta. I got a plan. Now that the door's open even in.
Barnaby
The middle of combat, I'm gonna.
Mabel
Cuz we're still on the other side of the thing, right? Only.
Narrator
Yeah, only he jumped over.
Mabel
Okay, I'm gonna do the hammer trick again. Flames are gonna go off. When they stop, everybody just cross. I'll cross and I'll just pluck my hammer off. You know what I'm saying?
Pips
Great.
Narrator
You got it.
Barnaby
Sounds like a plan.
Mabel
Do I have to roll or anything?
Narrator
No, no. Now that you know what it is, you lob it out there, the flames subside, you step onto it, you hold the hammer, the rest of you cross over. Easy enough. When you stepping off the final moment, pulling the hammer free once again, flames engulf it and then leave it safely behind. As your troop has now entered this chamber, the water and they. This goes a bit deeper below and it is a torrent of water that is just rushing down to step too far. Likely to be washed away wherever it's going to take you.
Teddy
I feel like one of those piles looks very conspicuously maybe has a shiny thing in it.
Pips
Yes, it does.
Narrator
Look, you can go and check if you want to cross here.
Teddy
Oh yeah.
Barnaby
I'm going to take them out of.
Narrator
This or over here.
Teddy
You mean that one first?
Narrator
Yeah, this one first. Go ahead and roll a D20 and add your luck to it please.
Teddy
22.
Narrator
22. Rummaging through it 1. You find a small rolled piece of script parchment. What looks like the remnants of a crushed box and bits of wood here. And the remnants of what was within are found as you discover an angry blow scroll.
Mabel
Whoa.
Narrator
Which has the essence of lightning runic magic attached to it.
Teddy
That's monstrous.
Mabel
It's like a Saturday night after a fight. You know what I'm saying?
Narrator
That's just right there. As well as a strange star shaped crest made of a reddish brown terracotta material that looks like it should have been destroyed by whatever this collapsed piece of debris is, but seems to be remaining intact.
Teddy
So it's just a star shaped crest?
Mabel
Yeah.
Teddy
All right. I'm writing that down. Star shaped. And that's not like an item that you put in my.
Narrator
No, no, I should say a side item.
Teddy
Starship's crest.
Barnaby
Could I just take a look at this crest and see if I've ever seen anything like this?
Narrator
Go ahead and roll and add your magic. Magic 10. 10. No idea.
Teddy
It's star shaped.
Barnaby
It's nifty.
Teddy
And a crest.
Pips
Do you think this could be the.
Barnaby
The child of the moon?
Pips
Well, that's not quite what I was thinking, but that is interesting.
Mabel
He's a Venus, dude.
Pips
Oh, yeah. True. What if that's the thing? What if that's in the core, like, you know, saying the thing?
Teddy
I feel like this is a little anticlimactic to be the thing, but. Yeah, no, that's. I mean, that's possible.
Zusari
Is it at all reminiscent of the thing that I turned earlier from the other room?
Narrator
It has a similar sort of. Like the shape that you saw in the first door that you destroyed was a little small pentagonal.
Mabel
Thank you for reminding me.
Narrator
But it had a similar size and shape to it. And what you saw there, that resembled it as well. A similar size and shape of. That is a crystal that was embedded in place. But it has a similar sort of vibe. Just a different sort of size correlation.
Teddy
Okay, we'll save that for later, just in case.
Mabel
So what the heck is it? It's a star thing.
Narrator
It's just a star.
Mabel
Ah, keep that thing away from me. That might be magic.
Narrator
It might be.
Teddy
I think it's cedar. Man, I don't even know. It smells nice.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
Very stiff.
Teddy
All right.
Mabel
Yeah, it's nice.
Pips
Yeah.
Teddy
Yeah. I gotta admit, that's pretty nice. Yeah, it's fresh.
Pips
All right. I'll maybe take a look across the other pile. Yeah.
Narrator
Over here, then. Oh. Oh, God.
Mabel
We're done.
Narrator
Spring break.
Mabel
Jeez. Supposed to have high evasion.
Narrator
So we're about to overhear.
Mabel
You mean.
Pips
Yeah.
Narrator
Okay. You inspect this thing. Go ahead and roll a D20 and add your luck, please.
Pips
Oh, I don't have a lot of luck.
Narrator
12 12. You rummage through it and find just mostly debris.
Pips
Does anyone else want to give it a look?
Mabel
How's that debris?
Zusari
I can give it a go.
Narrator
No, there's a lot of.
Teddy
Once you hit it.
Narrator
Once you hit it, it's hit, so.
Pips
Oh, okay.
Zusari
Is that a rock pile or just part of the wall?
Narrator
This looks like a piece of rubble that has fallen.
Mabel
Can I stick my hand in the water and take a little sip?
Narrator
Sure.
Teddy
Oh, I.
Narrator
Where ya. You reach in, it's freezing cold, and you get a little bit.
Mabel
Oh, geez.
Narrator
It's very clear, very clean.
Mabel
Oh, tastes pretty good. Y'all want a little sip? Get a little hydration afterwards? Do I get any health for that?
Narrator
No, but you do feel refreshed.
Zusari
You are hydrated.
Narrator
This is not strong.
Mabel
Hey, gre, you want some of this water? It's drinkable.
Narrator
You say that and you look over and Gremic's already over the edge going, that's my.
Mabel
Man. You remind me of this kid I met earlier.
Zusari
Can I walk across the aqueduct to this little gated section here?
Narrator
Sure.
Zusari
See what's beyond if I can see anything.
Narrator
It does continue beyond that into a longer hallway. And the water seems to rush and turn around the corner along that path, but it's a little dark beyond that. Looks like there's a slight. A brief period where there's a. As opposed to the open air above you. You come to the door and look at it though, and there is a star shaped indent on that portcullis sign. Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Zusari
Sensei, the item you found, I believe it belongs here.
Teddy
I'm going to walk over and look.
Narrator
Looks about the right shape and size.
Pips
Wait, Grimmick, which way did you come from when you came here?
Narrator
Points that direction.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
As he points off to the back, you do see the waterway disappears beneath a wall that's just beyond that. And you see there's a slight crack in the upper corner of the chamber with a bit of sunlight that's coming through on where that is enclosed. Looks like there was a damaged part of that upper wall that he either managed to carve through or squeeze through.
Mabel
Gremik, did you just crawl in through the wall?
Narrator
Dude, crawl through every few weeks. Come try. Scary.
Zusari
Very resourceful.
Pips
Grimmick, do you know what that. What is this way?
Narrator
Nothing.
Pips
Okay.
Mabel
Water.
Narrator
Carry me out.
Pips
Yeah, okay.
Teddy
All right. I say take a step back. Let's see what happens here.
Narrator
You press it inside. I need you to. No, I'm kidding. The porkless.
Pips
Cool.
Mabel
That was easy.
Teddy
That's how it's done.
Narrator
Rises up and reveals the next kind of.
Mabel
No, that was.
Teddy
I think it was just a lot.
Mabel
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Just some kind of.
Barnaby
Oh, maybe it's connected to the water.
Mabel
Exactly. Yeah.
Teddy
It's just a weird looking key. Sometimes keys look weird.
Mabel
It was made of wood and it smelled nice. All right.
Barnaby
Magic stuff's gone. I kind of wanted it, but that's okay.
Zusari
That could have been.
Teddy
You should have mentioned.
Mabel
Oh, hell yeah.
Zusari
I'll ask Mabel to smash through it.
Teddy
Round two.
Narrator
I love it.
Mabel
More dungeon.
Narrator
I love a dungeon crawl.
Mabel
This is exciting, dude.
Teddy
Dungeon crawls are the best.
Narrator
Begin to emerge around this corner. And you can see the water seems to be emerging from further down this direction. As you glance down, there is an actual.
Teddy
Whoa, dude.
Narrator
A massive waterfall that's released out of the side of the chamber. There's a mechanism above It where it looks like some sort of a dam, some sort of a massive stone clockwork piece is currently held in place, and the water is being released from an opening, just splashing into this and causing the current to rush past that is rushing through this way and then this way as well, through a different opening.
Mabel
Where's that water coming from? Deal with that.
Barnaby
I think we have to figure that out.
Pips
Maybe we need to turn it off.
Narrator
Water's rushing out this way. I. Apologies.
Barnaby
Oh, okay.
Pips
So we have to turn it off.
Teddy
I mean, that might be the way to go.
Mabel
Wait, we can't jump over this aqueduct.
Teddy
We can try it.
Narrator
We can try it.
Mabel
That's how I say it. Yeah, go ahead. I'll give it a try.
Barnaby
I'll try to leap over before we do this.
Teddy
I would say if you're gonna try and leap over, we're gonna leap over there, and we're gonna take a step back so that if you fall in the water, we can try and catch you. This is wisdom.
Mabel
Okay.
Teddy
Right there.
Mabel
I gotta admit, that's writing that down.
Pips
Good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zusari
Don't cross over aqueducts without a friend.
Teddy
Always have a spotter. Always have a spotter.
Narrator
Need a spotter.
Pips
May I heal myself if you have a messed medicine.
Narrator
Do you?
Pips
I do. I'm gonna heal myself. Myself.
Mabel
All right. I'm gonna go up to the tippy top of that waterfall while everyone waits behind, I'm assuming.
Narrator
All right. Yeah.
Mabel
Right.
Narrator
So the rest of your raining back there, just in case.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
As the water's rushing past. All right, now go ahead and roll D20 and add your decks.
Mabel
All right, y'all ready?
Teddy
Yeah.
Mabel
Here I go.
Narrator
Good luck.
Mabel
Try to use my hammer as like a kind of pole vault kind of situation. Like, I go like, boom. And try to use the.
Narrator
Hell, yeah.
Pips
Awesome.
Mabel
16 plus 4.
Narrator
Oh, easy enough to do. You leap over and land on the opposite side, Hammer kind of spinning in the air behind you as you catch down the other end. Three point land.
Zusari
Yeah.
Barnaby
That was awesome.
Zusari
Good job.
Teddy
All right, now you're gonna get up there, and you're gonna shut off the machine.
Mabel
Okay. I look at the machine, you look.
Narrator
Up at it, and It's a good 25ft up there. There's a massive cliff face. You can see now that you've reached this opposite side. You have a stronger view down this way. It looks like there is a further path. There's an opening this way, which actually you can kind of see from where you're standing. So you have perspective on all of These different avenues here.
Mabel
Whoa. Sick. Hey, guys, it's awesome over here. Y'all want to give it a shot or.
Barnaby
Not really. All right.
Mabel
Just me, I guess. It's just me.
Teddy
See if you can try and shut off the machine.
Mabel
Okay.
Zusari
Okay, I'll try to join him. I'll try to join you over there. I think I'm quite dexteritous.
Narrator
All right, so you go ahead and off the opposite eye, but the rest of you guys are sitting back there just in case that Zusarion fails. Roll a D20. Add your dex. 12. I was about to say you needed 12, so maybe you just hit it on the nail. You leap over the side and catch the edge and have to catch yourself. And indeed, Mabel grabs you and pulls you to your feet, and you're fine.
Mabel
It wasn't as cool as mine, but I appreciate the effort.
Zusari
It really was drama cool because of the power of friendship. That was the coolest part about this. You were here to catch me.
Teddy
I'm riding that deck.
Mabel
You ride that. That's great. Let's check this little nook right here.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
Is there anything behind that little shift over here?
Narrator
Okay. You look into this nook, glancing around that side, and you do indeed see over on this end, a small chest.
Barnaby
Would you do the honors?
Zusari
Would you want to do the honors?
Mabel
No, I feel like you should. You're really excited about that stuff.
Zusari
I insist. You were the first here. You deserve it.
Mabel
No, no, I couldn't. I couldn't. You should go ahead.
Zusari
The honorable thing would be to let the first who jumped across opened the chest.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
I'll give it a shot.
Narrator
Yeah, I'll open it up. No problem.
Mabel
Let's do this.
Narrator
Yeah. All right.
Mabel
I just got leather body armor plus five defense. Who cares? I go to cautiously open up the treasure chest. Okay. And I take a step back as quick as I can.
Narrator
You go and open the treasure chest. Roll and add your dexterity, please.
Mabel
Two plus four.
Zusari
No.
Mabel
Two plus four.
Zusari
No.
Narrator
You go and you kick it open, and right as you step backward, you catch a bit of slick vine that was on there, fall back and land on the ground just as this cloud emanates from it, fills the area and surrounds you, and you fall asleep.
Pips
What's going on over there?
Zusari
Mabel attempted to open the chest, and.
Narrator
Then you fall asleep as it fills the rest of the chamber.
Barnaby
Oh, well, okay.
Teddy
We're gonna have to deal with that spot me. I'm gonna.
Barnaby
I'll run down.
Teddy
I'm gonna take a leap.
Narrator
Roll an. Add to dexterity. Add a B to 12.
Mabel
11.
Narrator
11. You leap and then carry down the reins of it. Both of you need to try and catch him. You either roll Dex or strength. You're cool. You gotta beat a 10 to catch him.
Pips
All right.
Barnaby
Oh, nice. Okay.
Narrator
16 pulled up out of the water. You're waterlogged and freezing, but you're safe.
Teddy
There's gotta be a better way to do this.
Barnaby
I have something for you. I'll hand you a rock that is slightly above room temperature. It'll keep you. It'll keep you above room temperature. Put it somewhere safe. And I need it back.
Mabel
Cause I'm gonna sell the toilet.
Pips
All right. I'm gonna try to take a leap over.
Narrator
Go ahead and roll and add your decks. Okay.
Pips
Natural 20.
Mabel
Yay.
Narrator
I'll say. For a natural 20, you get to choose one other person to join you.
Pips
All right.
Narrator
As you confidently run and then grab somebody, as you know you're about to make it.
Pips
What's your dex?
Narrator
Oh.
Teddy
Four, so.
Pips
Okay. Barnaby, come on.
Barnaby
Okay. Yeah. Let's do the thing that we always do when we travel around. I pick you up and then I throw you for you to grab my arms and reboard.
Narrator
That's how physics works. Yes.
Mabel
JRPG mechanics.
Barnaby
Over that wall in the northwest.
Narrator
Oh, I love it. Oh, the physics engine on. This is real weird. I love it. As you throw pips and pips right as you leave, like a trapeze duo, you grab the forearms of Barnum and to the momentum of the throw and your power. It makes sense somehow. And you both land on the opposite end while the two friends are asleep on the ground and you are on the opposite side.
Teddy
All right, I'm gonna take one more running leap. I can do this. I don't care how bad my back feels right now.
Narrator
You have to be to 14 now.
Teddy
Now I have to be to 14.
Pips
I'm just gonna pause.
Narrator
Well, actually, I'll keep it at 12, but you don't have anyone helping you.
Teddy
I know.
Pips
Can I pause on the other side?
Teddy
No, no, no, no.
Narrator
You're good.
Mabel
You're good.
Pips
Okay.
Teddy
I actually. How tall are these walls, by the way? Like, the rock wall?
Narrator
I say, like, 15 or something.
Teddy
Okay, so that's too high. Okay.
Narrator
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mabel
Am I still asleep?
Narrator
Yes.
Mabel
Yes, you are.
Narrator
Me and the. All right.
Teddy
Come on. Don't be a jerk.
Mabel
Hey.
Teddy
Not 20.
Narrator
Thank you. There you go. So the rest, the three of you leap behind and just catch yourselves as your two compatriots are currently in a deep slumber.
Pips
All right. I'm Going to go over. I don't know if this is going to work, but I'm going to go over and slap Mabel in the face. Okay, wake up.
Narrator
As you step over to start approaching that area, you see a flash of red and purple out of the corner of your eye. From down this area was that you glance over and you see another flash of red. Two bits of red. These suddenly large red squares trimmed in white like two massive tarot cards of reddish color drift outward in your direction.
Teddy
I am slapping both of them awake.
Narrator
We're they are still asleep. It takes a certain level of force to wake them up as they are magically put under. As these two shit floating cards approach, you watch as emerging from the red space, a blue face with a jester ahead emerges with strange hands and white glowing eyes from each of them as they pour out. What are these? As they look at each other, they glance up as a Mr. Venus descends along with them.
Mabel
Oh, my.
Narrator
What?
Mabel
No, dude, Mr. Venus ruled.
Narrator
Oh, Mr. Venus. Pretty great. That's two nightmares. So cool.
Teddy
Oh, you had so much fun with this.
Mabel
Oh, yeah.
Teddy
This has been incredible, didn't you?
Zusari
Wow.
Narrator
Oh, boy.
Mabel
I wish I was awake to see this.
Narrator
So as you all rush into this point, both of you are currently asleep. Okay, everyone, please roll and add your speed. Even those that are unconscious. Gosh.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
Okay.
Teddy
All right.
Narrator
Oh, boy.
Mabel
13, 11.
Teddy
Well, he'll call them because.
Narrator
All right, so, okay, 25 to 20. 20 to 15. No, 15 to 10.
Barnaby
13.
Narrator
13, 12. Both of you guys roll off rollies. Seven, four. Great. All right, so Mabel.
Teddy
Mabel. Okay, Barnaby, then Barn. I get to snore first and then me.
Pips
What are you?
Teddy
I am 12.
Pips
Or 12.
Barnaby
What are you dreaming about?
Pips
I got it at an eight.
Mabel
Alrighty.
Barnaby
I go. Great.
Mabel
And then Pickles.
Zusari
I got you.
Narrator
Oh, so.
Pips
Oh, oh. So Teddy Dill, Pickles, you're next. Then Teddy.
Narrator
Teddy Zusari, then. Okay, where's our.
Barnaby
Too sweet.
Narrator
Yeah, Roll for Gremic.
Pips
Roll for Gremic.
Barnaby
I'll roll.
Pips
Who's next up playing gremic?
Narrator
It would be me.
Mabel
Yet I haven't acted as gremic.
Teddy
Oh, do you want to act as.
Narrator
I just Grimmik, dude, go ahead.
Mabel
I feel like. I feel like me being separate for Grimmik is a lot more fun.
Zusari
I just want to be around Grimmick.
Teddy
That's me. And so Grimmick comes before me. So it's. Yeah, Barnaby. Grimmick me.
Mabel
Grimmick's cool as hell, dude.
Zusari
Hell, yeah.
Narrator
All right, the nightmares go first as both of these strange gesture things Kind of like withdraw into the cards. And the cards begin to spin. Oh, no. As they spin, the red face begins to change to different elemental images. Water, lightning, all these different things are flickering through. Somebody roll. Actually, no, I'll just roll a D4 here. The first one. That's a 4.
Mabel
What the hell is that?
Barnaby
It's quite a D4.
Narrator
You watch as suddenly, multiple snakes of fire emerge and begin to swirl and enwrap the space here. Rolling against everybody. That's gonna be a 12 to hit. Who does the 12 hit?
Mabel
Is it magic?
Narrator
It is magic.
Teddy
Yeah, but it's evasion.
Narrator
What's your evasion?
Mabel
Oh.
Narrator
Oh, yeah. So it only hits you two in the back. You two take.
Pips
That.
Narrator
Sounded like a lot of 15 fire damage each of you. While the rest of you avoid it, the other one is a one. That's going to be a wind. Everybody in that back row. You feel the wind begin to pick up, and beautiful pink cherry blossom leaves swirl the space. And you feel your senses beginning to dull.
Teddy
I like it.
Narrator
Everyone in the back row falls asleep.
Pips
Oh, no.
Narrator
So currently, the only conscious members of the team are Teddy and Grem.
Zusari
Oh, my goodness.
Mabel
Grem's cool as hell, dude. This is like a dream scenario for me, so you better take advantage of.
Pips
It.
Narrator
To that point. That finishes the nightmares. Go. You're asleep. Barnaby, you're asleep. Gremik, you're up.
Teddy
I'm going to attack with my axe.
Mabel
There we go.
Teddy
I don't know my axe.
Narrator
All right, to which one?
Teddy
To one on the. The one on the right, actually.
Narrator
Okay, let's go.
Teddy
So that's 12 to hit.
Narrator
12 hits. That actually just hits.
Teddy
All right, 12 just hits. Good to know.
Mabel
That's 2D8 plus 6.
Teddy
So let's do Ace. 16, 17, 18, 19 Wells are 22 points of damage.
Narrator
Max damage. Nice. Grimmig gets a heavy hit on that. The right hand nightmare carves into it. The card withdraws for a second. It's almost like a water drop ripple through it. And one of the hands emerges and pulls its way out. You see, the hand is now bloodied from where the ax struck it. And the jester head reaches out. No facial features, just the white glowing eyes. It's kind of like looks at the rest of you.
Mabel
In my sleep. I go, Kremlin school as hell.
Narrator
Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
I feel like I want to attack Mr. Moon, I think.
Narrator
Oh, by the way, this is. Unfortunately, Mr. Moon is in the back row.
Teddy
Yeah, but I have a scroll.
Narrator
Oh, you do? Yeah.
Teddy
Yeah. So I'm gonna take out my angry blow scroll and I'm gonna. I'm just gonna blow that moon.
Mabel
You heard me. I unconsciously roll away a little. Little bit.
Teddy
Do I even have to roll for.
Narrator
This or do you?
Mabel
Do not.
Narrator
It just does damage.
Teddy
It's gonna.
Narrator
So it uses 8D8 lightning damage to Mr. Venus.
Teddy
Mr. Venus. Okay, 8D.
Mabel
8D8.
Teddy
So I'm just gonna. I'm gonna use calculator. My brain is broke.
Mabel
Here we go.
Narrator
That's fine. That's 13.
Teddy
12. 13. And then we're gonna do.
Narrator
That's. Oof.
Barnaby
God.
Teddy
Terrible.
Narrator
27.
Teddy
That's 20.
Narrator
And then two more of those.
Teddy
Oh, that was terrible.
Narrator
I know.
Teddy
And then 26.
Narrator
26 points of lightning damage as you read the scrawl out loud. And then as it evaporates, you see the lightning rune in the air for a second. And then a matching version of it appears above Mr. Venus before a bolt of lightning strikes into the top the eyes going for a second before onto you. And prepare for a total eclipse, motherfucker. Oh, my.
Zusari
Am I See if I write that down.
Barnaby
Never stop.
Teddy
Never stop.
Narrator
I love it. Mr. Venus is going to crescent storm. Angered by your angry blow. Even further angry to angry. Blow you back. Oh, my God.
Pips
Whoa.
Narrator
As all the crescent moon energies emerge and cut through all of you, knocking you all back to consciousness. However.
Mabel
Okay.
Barnaby
That was gonna be bad.
Mabel
Yo. What the hell is going on?
Narrator
That's a 14 to hit, which I think hits everybody. Yep. So everybody takes the moon's back. The moon's back. It could have been worse. 16 points of magic damage across the board for me. Your magic defense is so crazy.
Mabel
I don't fuck with magic. What the hell is going on with the cards?
Zusari
Am I dreaming? Didn't we already defeat this thing?
Teddy
There are more than one? It's not just, you know, there's lots.
Narrator
These two didn't come at you at the same time, randomly checking to see what would show up. All right, cool. So finishing Mr. Venus. Go. Zusari. You're up with pips on deck now that you're conscious.
Zusari
Okay. I see the bloody hand on this one, and I register that that means that he's been hurt.
Mabel
So.
Narrator
Yes.
Zusari
Actually, do you want to team up and do our attack on your turn? I can hold off if you're ready.
Teddy
You know, you should do it.
Mabel
It's cool as hell.
Zusari
Well, do you need to recover first?
Teddy
Yeah, I need to recover first also. We'll only hit two of them if we do it right now.
Mabel
I got a medicine I can give it to you on my turn.
Teddy
We'll hold off.
Narrator
We'll hold off, but we can hold off.
Teddy
Yeah, we'll see if we can. Cause we'll see what you got.
Zusari
Then I'll attack.
Narrator
Let's go.
Zusari
I'll attack the already harmed one.
Teddy
It's possible the moon will come forward, too.
Zusari
12.
Narrator
12 is exactly what you need.
Zusari
This was a terrible roll. Five. No. One, two, three.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
Five plus your.
Zusari
Oh, right. I don't know if I've even been adding that this whole game. Nine.
Narrator
Nine. All right, got it. So you go and you're still kind of slightly woozy from waking up, and you just get one hit that kind of like glances off the side of the card. It kind of folds in the way that a card spokes of a bike. Sounds like it took a hit. All right, that finishes your go. Pips are up.
Pips
All right, I'm gonna try a firewall for the front row.
Narrator
For the front row.
Teddy
Okay.
Mabel
All right. Thank you for announcing. I'm backing up.
Pips
All right, so that's a. You're welcome. That is a 13.
Narrator
13 hits them both. Yes.
Pips
All right, so that's 96 plus 8.
Narrator
Yeah. Let's go.
Pips
Okay, so 4. 1.
Mabel
5.
Pips
2.
Narrator
That's 7.
Pips
1.
Narrator
8.
Zusari
You got this. 5th.
Pips
2.
Narrator
10.
Pips
Come on.
Narrator
1.
Barnaby
11.
Pips
5.
Narrator
Okay, okay. 16.
Pips
2.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
18.
Pips
4.
Narrator
Okay, last one. 22.
Pips
6.
Narrator
So 28. 28 points of damage to both.
Pips
Plus 8 plus 8.
Narrator
Oh, yeah.
Pips
36.
Narrator
30.
Mabel
Ooh.
Narrator
That will be enough to destroy this card. Yeah, back there.
Zusari
Pip, you're incredible.
Pips
Thank you so much.
Zusari
You're so good.
Narrator
All of fire just bursts up front and just burns across his way, incinerating this card of the nightmare. As it streaks and vanishes this one, the flames catch and the edges of the card burn black. Its eyes get brighter and angry as it begins to retreat into the card, ready to call for whatever runic magic it wishes.
Pips
And that's all enemies in a row. Take that.
Narrator
Yeah, in a row. So it hit both of them.
Pips
Awesome. Okay.
Narrator
Hell yeah. All right, that finishes pipsco. Now it is the nightmare that's still out there's turn. Let's see what it casts there. That's going to be a three. Three. All right, so that's going to be plus. So it's going to go ahead and choose. It's going to choose you. Yep. As you're hurting.
Teddy
That's cool.
Narrator
That's going to be a 19 to hit.
Teddy
That hits.
Narrator
So you watch as the card curls inside and it spins the different runic symbols appear until the one for water apparates. And you watch as a massive streak of water magic shifts up, forms a sphere, and then slams into you for 15 points of magic damage. And then you watch as the magic returns the water and it heals itself a little. Oh, I hate that.
Mabel
That's some evil shit.
Narrator
Yeah, it is finishing its go. You're up, Mabel. Bar to be undone.
Mabel
I start swinging around my hammer a little bit. I'm like, ah, I'm back up.
Teddy
I'm ready to go.
Mabel
Let's go. I just go in for the big swing on the nightmare.
Narrator
Go for it. Roll for an attack.
Teddy
Good call, base.
Narrator
Hell, yeah.
Mabel
17 plus what?
Narrator
17 plus 4. That definitely hits gun roll. Damage 2. D12 plus 11, baby.
Mabel
8 and 2 plus 11.
Narrator
21 points of damage.
Teddy
Nice. Nice.
Narrator
Ooh, that's a heavy hit. It's looking real hurt. You swam it hard. If it hadn't healed itself, that would have been enough, but it just. It's hanging on by a thread. Literally. Like, threads are hanging from it, and it's like the Jester's. Almost like a broken marionette. Barely hang inside the middle of the card.
Mabel
Man, this thing sucks.
Narrator
Agreed. All right, finishing your go. Barnaby, you're up with Gremic on deck. Okay.
Barnaby
I'm going to try to make it so this guy does not hit us in his next initiative. So I'm going to go. I'm starting to agree with you, Mabel. This magic shit sucks. And I'm going to throw my robe back to reveal a small pouch on the side and, like, a holster. And it'll open up automatically as sand, purple sand flies out of it as it turns into the shape of a rune. And then I'm gonna take my hand out and blow it towards the moon to try to make it fall asleep.
Mabel
Oh.
Narrator
Go ahead and roll.
Barnaby
Okay.
Mabel
This is D20 plus magic.
Narrator
Ooh, yikes.
Mabel
Okay.
Barnaby
14.
Narrator
Its evasion is 10. That works.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
So you watch.
Barnaby
I'll say, I'll blow the sand out, and as it falls asleep, I'll say, goodnight, sweet moon.
Zusari
Writing that down.
Barnaby
Oh, I think you look in the mirror and says, me is so cool.
Narrator
Like, the energy's, like, building up, and as the wind kind of. And the dust comes by, goes.
Mabel
One.
Narrator
Eye at a time.
Teddy
I was gonna say it's a jrpg, so we can get the little snot bubble.
Mabel
Right?
Narrator
There's not bubbles happening on the side.
Teddy
When you hit it. So as long as we don't hit.
Narrator
It till it lasts, I'm Just trying to. And also, it's defense is zero on the next time it hits it.
Mabel
Barnaby. Don't tell a damn soul.
Narrator
But that was cool as hell.
Barnaby
Oh my God.
Zusari
Grimmick smelling blood from the nightmare in front, tries to give it an attack. Finish it off. 2012. 14.
Narrator
14. Yeah.
Zusari
Yay. Two D8. Okay.
Mabel
Go ahead, Grimit.
Zusari
Is this D8?
Narrator
That's D8. Yep. Okay.
Teddy
Four actually.
Zusari
And six plus six 12.
Narrator
Grimmick carves through the other nightmare.
Zusari
It is.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
Grimmick.
Narrator
Awesome.
Mabel
Can we just leave it sleeping?
Narrator
You could.
Barnaby
The only problem is I fear that next time we go into combat, we will also have to face it again. But maybe not.
Mabel
But it's sleeping.
Teddy
You know, they only really wake up if you smack them really hard.
Barnaby
That is true.
Teddy
Remember?
Narrator
Well, magic eventually wears off.
Teddy
Eventually. That's fair. Do we want to?
Narrator
Up to you guys.
Teddy
We can end it or we can walk away.
Barnaby
I try to consume resources for our own sake. So I think it would be kind of funny if we just left it.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
Wanna do that?
Barnaby
You seem really excited for us.
Narrator
Whatever. I love it's an interesting scenario we also have.
Teddy
Because we have a run feature. So like we can do it. We can just. Technically speaking, we can leave a fight.
Narrator
So here's what I'll say. If you want to. If you want to try and leave it there, I'll let you make a group run roll via the rules here.
Teddy
Kind of love it.
Pips
And if we fail, we fight it.
Teddy
Yeah.
Narrator
Okay. Right, so. Or you can just continue still asleep.
Zusari
The jump on.
Narrator
I'll just say that the battle will end regardless, but it'll inform other things.
Teddy
Oh, I like that.
Pips
What is that?
Zusari
I love that.
Narrator
I love that.
Mabel
I love information.
Narrator
But I mean, I know.
Zusari
I mean, we beat one before.
Teddy
I know. That's true. We could. Do you want to just go for it?
Pips
I mean, it is funny to run. I feel like.
Teddy
Kind of funny to just be like, eh.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Pips
But we're so close.
Mabel
Maybe we can use it to get us up there or something. Like lose us. Like a hook.
Narrator
Drag the floating dune.
Teddy
Before we leave, let's all take a selfie with the remote.
Zusari
What's a selfie?
Barnaby
I pulled the old camera up over my Twitter. It wakes it up.
Teddy
Oh, I'm amused either way. So I'm down for whatever.
Mabel
Let's do the run.
Narrator
Let's try to run the run. All right, everyone roll a D20 and add your luck.
Pips
Oh, God.
Mabel
Plus 0, 21.
Narrator
6, 11, 4, 16 and 21. You said someone had to beat a 20 for this to succeed.
Pips
Oh, my God.
Narrator
As you all slow. This is the slowest, quietest run ever. As you all just gently tiptoe away and you're. Shut the fuck up.
Barnaby
We're gonna wake the moon.
Narrator
And slowly, quietly, you all say, goodnight, moon.
Pips
Has it taken any damage yet?
Zusari
No, it took damage.
Teddy
It got hit once. Not great.
Narrator
Okay, so. And with that, you leave the moon sleeping.
Barnaby
That will definitely not come back and bite us again.
Teddy
No, no, everything's fine.
Mabel
So, I mean, can I.
Zusari
Is the cloud of sleep smoke still.
Narrator
No, that. That is dissipated. The chest remains open.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
So back chest. I tiptoe back.
Mabel
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Gremik
I opened the chest.
Zusari
Open it deserve.
Narrator
This guy taking this away from me. I fell asleep for this. Pretty much fell asleep.
Mabel
I'm going to go over the chest. I'm going to. I'll be like, hey, hey, come with me.
Zusari
Like, support you.
Mabel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Narrator
You find a. A thick vial of a medicinal liquid as you get a mega medicine.
Barnaby
Mega medicine, yo.
Mabel
You know what, my man, you were so kind.
Barnaby
Yeah, I'll be sure to use the slice.
Teddy
Can I hit that 40?
Narrator
If you're just.
Mabel
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take a hit of that.
Pips
Can I. Can I take a peek and see if there's anything. Can I take a peek and see if there's anything behind the waterfall thing?
Teddy
I like that.
Narrator
Behind the waterfall there. Yeah, go ahead and roll a D20 or D20. Sorry.
Teddy
And add luck.
Narrator
Yeah, add luck to this one.
Pips
19.
Narrator
19. Plus luck.
Pips
Is that was plus luck. I only have a plus one.
Narrator
I rolled an 8 looking behind the waterfall. The water is not emanating from beneath it. It is definitely this whole thing. But there is a small alcove behind it. The waterfall itself is rushing heavily, and to try and get through would be very dangerous. But it is not impossible.
Pips
There is something out this way, but I'm sure. I think we gotta turn this thing off.
Mabel
Okay, you tell me there's an alcove behind this aqueduct.
Pips
Yeah, yeah, that's what I just said, that there's behind this aqueduct.
Zusari
Did you not hear Pip? When.
Pips
Yeah, didn't I just say that? I just said that.
Barnaby
I just wanted to make sure.
Mabel
Sure I was clear, right?
Narrator
I tried to make sure he was clear.
Mabel
Thank you, Gremic. See, this is why Gremic's way cooler than all of them.
Pips
You're a cute little puppy, little Labrador face.
Teddy
Let's try and go through. There's a door back there.
Narrator
Let's, let's.
Pips
Yeah, let's look around.
Narrator
Let's try and go through that door.
Pips
Okay.
Mabel
Wait, wait.
Barnaby
Did we see the stairs?
Mabel
Yeah, there's like. There's like a little gap on the side, right?
Narrator
Or just go through that gap. This technically is covered. Oh, okay.
Mabel
Okay. For real, though?
Teddy
Yeah.
Narrator
Good.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Teddy
Good call though.
Mabel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pips
Let's try to go in there.
Mabel
Let's go in that little door.
Zusari
Can I see if there's any little more indentations? Looks a little similar. Unless it. I don't know if it's similar to the door.
Narrator
We just. This one has another indentation in it. This one has like a three pointed star kind of vibe to it. Like it's almost like three individual points. Same size as the others, but just that kind of. That crest is empty in that shape.
Mabel
Oh, man. We need a good smelling wooden key.
Pips
Or we could just like break off two of the points we let.
Narrator
The other one's still stuck in the other door.
Pips
Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay.
Teddy
But there's a hall. I think there's a hallway over there.
Mabel
That was pretty clever, though.
Teddy
No, that was a good thought.
Narrator
All right, you move further into here.
Barnaby
Why didn't you see that?
Teddy
Let's see what we.
Narrator
Oh, my God. There's a poison. And there is just an empty chamber.
Mabel
I go in the chamber and yell to see if it echoes.
Narrator
It does echo pretty well.
Mabel
Okay.
Zusari
Can I check over and see if the moon stirs?
Mabel
What do you think he dreams of?
Barnaby
Deeply unsettling. Deeply unsettling.
Narrator
That's an interesting question.
Barnaby
Does he have a daily life that.
Mabel
He kind of recalls in his. I don't know.
Teddy
He works nights.
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
So just an empty chamber. Maybe we gotta.
Mabel
Is there a. I can't really see. Is there any kind of door or anything?
Narrator
No door on this side. No. It just kind of finishes the chamber here. There's just this element here.
Pips
Man, I think we need to go across.
Zusari
Yeah.
Pips
Or at least a couple of us do.
Mabel
Maybe I should hit it with my hammer.
Pips
The wall.
Mabel
I mean, I could try the wall, but I was thinking the door.
Narrator
Oh.
Mabel
You know what I'm saying?
Zusari
That's worked twice before.
Teddy
I don't know. This door looks pretty. Pretty secure.
Zusari
I'm not too loud of a noise.
Narrator
Yeah.
Pips
Can you do it like, quietly put.
Mabel
A blanket over it.
Zusari
Can you put a blanket over it.
Pips
As you do it?
Mabel
All cough, no go. Can somebody go over to Mr. Venus and just kind of like, you know, cover it?
Barnaby
My hands are not.
Mabel
All right.
Pips
Does it look like there are any ear holes?
Mabel
Huh?
Pips
On Mr.
Narrator
Moon? On Mr. Venus, you walk over and look towards it. You have no idea the physiology of a sentient weird moon beast.
Pips
Is he easily movable?
Narrator
He is floating in space in a way that defies your understanding of physics and the world around you. So maybe he's still floating while he's sleeping. Oh, yeah, he's a moon.
Mabel
Oh, that's sick.
Zusari
Can I discern if there are any weak points on it?
Narrator
On the moon while he's sleeping? Yeah.
Zusari
Can I?
Narrator
Like while he's sleeping? He has no means of defending himself.
Teddy
He does his defense to zero until you hit him. And then.
Narrator
But like, what if we did like.
Mabel
A super five person attack? Just like make up right now, you know, that'd be pretty cool.
Pips
Or we could blindfold him.
Teddy
You know, if I recall, there was another path. We might actually be able to find a key if we go down the other.
Narrator
There's like. There's other places to check.
Teddy
So before we.
Zusari
But what about blindfolding the moon? That seems like a good plan.
Teddy
You're gonna wake up the moon when you blindfold.
Barnaby
Mess with the moon.
Pips
Okay.
Barnaby
That's also Venus.
Pips
You guys, what if a couple of us try to go over there? Yeah, I mean, I can try. I'll volunteer.
Zusari
I'll go with you.
Pips
I mean, let's go.
Teddy
We'll go together. We're gonna go together.
Pips
Okay.
Mabel
All right. Hey, I have an idea. How hard and dense is the flow of the water coming down?
Narrator
It's pretty intense. Like, it's a rapid flow, so it would carry you and immediately drag you down.
Mabel
Okay. My hammer's like mad heavy. Could I, like, put my hammer down and kind of like block the water flow for a little bit so people could just kind of step through?
Narrator
You can certainly try.
Teddy
How deep does that water?
Narrator
I'm strong enough to grab it and.
Mabel
Get it back or something.
Narrator
Best you can tell, it's probably about 10 to 15ft deep.
Barnaby
How long's your hammer?
Teddy
Not how tall are you? Not very.
Mabel
Yeah, I don't know.
Narrator
You don't know if that adjusts in certain places? From what you can tell, you can't really see the bottom. You just see it gets dark beneath. And just.
Pips
What if we look for, like, vulnerabilities in the wall on this side and we just try to like, break through the stones?
Mabel
Yeah, but there's an aqueduct going through.
Pips
Oh, yeah.
Barnaby
Can we scale the wall up?
Narrator
I don't. You could try. It's about 15ft up.
Pips
Is it open up at the top?
Narrator
It isn't. Upper platform on the wall yeah.
Barnaby
We have scaled walls much bigger than this one.
Pips
That's right. What am I saying? We've done so many moves where we've tried.
Barnaby
Shall we? And I'll clap my hands and eat yours.
Narrator
I'll try to figure out.
Zusari
Physics defying throw.
Narrator
Go.
Mabel
Ellie. Come here.
Narrator
All right. I think this is a good plan.
Teddy
I think this is a plan. Yeah, I'm into this.
Narrator
All right.
Pips
All right. Let's try it.
Narrator
All right. So the two of you are going to attempt to clamber up.
Pips
Yeah.
Narrator
All right.
Pips
We've done this so many times in the past.
Narrator
Ooh. So many. So I'll need you both to roll a strength check or a Dex check. Your choice.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
Okay. But you both need to succeed for this to work. And you have to get at least a 14.
Barnaby
Oh, no.
Mabel
Nat.
Pips
One natural 20.
Narrator
Wow. What a vibe.
Barnaby
Can I help?
Narrator
What a weird balance. Here's what I'll say. The natural. Natural 20. Because the universe of Suikoden is a balance between order and chaos. Based on the 27 true runes. I will enable you both. I'll enable you both A reroll.
Mabel
Oh.
Narrator
So as opposed to an immediate failure. Both those kind of balance each other out. I'll give you both one more reroll. That's fun.
Mabel
Beautiful. Wow. Three. Oh, yeah.
Narrator
One.
Pips
Oh, that was almost a really good one.
Narrator
Okay. Twelve.
Barnaby
Twelve. That's okay.
Narrator
That's okay.
Barnaby
That's right.
Narrator
You grab her and you lift up and you catch the edge in your fingers. Get it and just scrape back down.
Pips
What do I.
Narrator
Well, that was a good choice.
Barnaby
Usually it's a wall and you can grab it and you can do that.
Mabel
The thing.
Barnaby
And we do that. Yes.
Pips
Should we try to go around?
Teddy
Can we give one round really quick just to give it a roll?
Narrator
To what? To jump over?
Teddy
Well, I was just going to give you a. Yeah.
Mabel
Fast forward. I'm pretty tiny, eh?
Teddy
Yeah.
Narrator
Yeah. Both want to give a shot.
Mabel
It's too heavy to bring my hammer, so it just has to be me.
Teddy
At best, I can grab your hammer and I can actually try and, like, shot put you. If you're holding on, then you can let go of the hammer.
Narrator
Oh, that's pretty fun. That's pretty fun.
Mabel
Honestly, that's pretty funny.
Teddy
Are you ready?
Narrator
All right.
Mabel
Let's do that.
Narrator
All right. You guys roll strength or Dex. Your choice. And you both have to succeed on a 14 difficulty. All right.
Teddy
I'll do strength. Cause you're gonna be hanging on to the head of the hammer, and I'm just gonna kind of Try and throw you right up there.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
All right.
Mabel
So it's just me, or.
Teddy
No, we both. It'll be just you getting up there.
Narrator
But we both roll. But you Both rolled for 14.
Mabel
14.
Teddy
Nope. Not one.
Narrator
Fuck. I've rolled so many.
Teddy
Not ones today.
Narrator
Takes your hammer and flings you, and you go. As opposed to going up onto the wall, you just go straight up and drop down. Did you see anything, bro?
Barnaby
You pass over this. I have another. I went to cash, and I'm like, oh, God.
Mabel
I'm a hammer wielder, dude.
Narrator
The Mr. Venus shifts a bit in its sleep. It remains magically asleep, but it won't last forever. We should.
Barnaby
Okay, yeah, we gotta try something else.
Teddy
Okay, let's try this other hallway. Let's see if we can do it.
Pips
So we should jump across and then jump across again.
Teddy
I don't know what else to do.
Pips
What if we do?
Mabel
We got a sleeping Mr. Moon.
Zusari
Why don't we just, like, move him.
Barnaby
Nudge him and climb him, and then.
Mabel
Try to climb up his lithe body?
Barnaby
You know what I'm saying? That is certainly an idea. I don't know what we want to do.
Narrator
Come on.
Pips
Is he far up, or is he, like, close on the ground?
Narrator
No, he's like three feet off the ground.
Mabel
He's really tall.
Pips
Can I just. Can I just gently just try to see if I can push him?
Narrator
If he moves, you push and he moves slightly. Oh, boy.
Teddy
This is insane. I'm gonna be ready to attack him.
Narrator
If it gets weird.
Pips
I'm just. I'm just gonna move him up against.
Teddy
The wall, see what we can do.
Pips
I'm just gonna move him up against the wall.
Teddy
Weirder has happened.
Barnaby
We have to figure out the contraption. He wakes up.
Mabel
Team meeting.
Narrator
Team meeting. Gremic, stay over there. Okay.
Teddy
Okay.
Narrator
Why don't we just get GRE to push him?
Barnaby
I mean, I know he's sick as.
Zusari
Hell, but gremic is a little bit wilder than all of us.
Teddy
Gentle hands, gentle hands.
Narrator
Come.
Pips
Gentle hands. I have gentle hands.
Narrator
Let's go. Okay.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
I just don't want to put you.
Pips
In harm's way, but thank you, Mabel, for thinking, but I feel bad. Okay, just.
Narrator
Just a small, easy push.
Pips
Okay. Slow, easy push. Daisy duzzle.
Zusari
Okay.
Narrator
All right.
Pips
Sleepy times.
Narrator
Where are you pushing Mr. Venus?
Zusari
Against the wall.
Narrator
Against the wall.
Mabel
Here?
Pips
No, like, against.
Mabel
Over here.
Narrator
Oh, yeah.
Barnaby
We should do that because the machine's up there.
Pips
Oh, yeah, you're right. Oh, yeah, you're right. But then we're not going into that room.
Barnaby
Could we also have pushed him floating above the water and then we walk across him? Just another idea. It doesn't matter.
Pips
You're right.
Narrator
What do you want to do? Do you want to.
Mabel
Let's push him up there because there's.
Pips
Staircase into that all, like sit on him like a little boat sitting on the moon.
Narrator
So you push him which way? This way? This way, this way, this way.
Mabel
I say push him off toward the.
Teddy
Machine and then try and.
Pips
Yeah, try and turn it off and.
Teddy
Try and climb up to turn off the machine.
Narrator
You move him here against the edge. All right. Push him just kind of rest against the wall for the hell of it. Because it's fun. Just.
Zusari
Yeah.
Narrator
Okay. He's like a good 10 or so feet tall. Can get you most of the way there if you manage to not wake him in the climb. Who is climbing, Mr. Venus?
Zusari
Can I try this climb?
Teddy
Who is the most.
Narrator
Do you want to try this?
Teddy
He's got some high dex.
Zusari
I have a plus four to Dex.
Narrator
Okay, I do two.
Zusari
Okay, you do two.
Pips
Okay. So maybe you are our most dexterous. Do you both want to go or just one?
Mabel
I mean, I feel like we had this disagreement about the.
Teddy
You haven't tried anything.
Zusari
I haven't tried climbing yet.
Narrator
You go for it.
Pips
All right, so you've got this.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
So you have to beat a 20.
Zusari
Have to be the 12.
Pips
Come on, Zu.
Narrator
I believe in you to not wake him.
Pips
Oh, no.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
Nine. Nine. So you do climb up, Mr. Venus. As you slowly getting up to the top. You get to the very top of the crescent and there's a four foot leap to the edge of the cliff. And you feel the moon shift. And you feel that bassy. The rest of you, watch the eyes. No Lick her open eye.
Teddy
Knew what to do.
Narrator
So we're gonna go into battle here. Do you want to join the battle with them or do you want to try and make it to the top of the fucking top?
Zusari
I'll try to make it to the top.
Narrator
All right. I believe in him. So with that, we go into the remainder of the mystic evil skull. Worth it. Worth it.
Pips
Worth it. All right.
Narrator
All right.
Barnaby
We are exactly where we.
Narrator
Without Jasari, who is currently up here. Yeah.
Mabel
Nice.
Narrator
So with that, we go back. I'm gonna keep the original initiative that we had for this. Just keep it easy. Which brings us to. Actually, no, no, let's reroll. Cause it's been a minute.
Pips
Okay.
Mabel
I was asleep too.
Zusari
Can I play as Grimmick in this round? Since I'm not currently in the battle.
Narrator
Yes, you may. A third.
Teddy
Brilliant.
Narrator
All right, so 25 to 20.
Barnaby
22. 22, 2.
Zusari
17, 16, 19.
Teddy
All right, cool.
Narrator
All right, so who's that first? Teddy?
Teddy
No, it's Mar.
Barnaby
Should I put it back to sleep?
Mabel
We move this.
Narrator
All right, and then 15 to 10. Or 10 to 15.
Pips
I'd say 13. Sorry.
Narrator
13 for pips.
Mabel
Did you get me on the 17?
Narrator
Oh, I did not get that. All right, thank you.
Pips
Wait, so it's Barnaby, Teddy, Mabel. Mabel, Pips.
Narrator
All right, then. What did Gremit get?
Zusari
Oh, four.
Narrator
Okay, got you. All right, so top of the round, Barnaby. What you doing, Sec?
Barnaby
I will throw my boomerang at him. I go. Well, we learned one way. That would be 9.
Narrator
9.
Barnaby
I'll take the D8 as I'll come back and regrettably grab it.
Mabel
That's not bad.
Barnaby
I'll take one damage.
Narrator
Not too bad.
Mabel
That thing's gonna kill him someday.
Narrator
100%. Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
All right, I'm just gonna go for. Punch him in the face again. I don't know what else to do.
Mabel
Here we go.
Narrator
11. 11 hits.
Teddy
Oh, thank God. No, this is, eh. It's not bad. 16, 17, 18. 26 points of damage.
Narrator
26 points of damage. All right, heavy hit once again. It's got a fairly thick defense on it, so when you slam it, your knuckles hurt a little bit, but still a bit of damage gets pushed through there. Well done. Bashing Yorgo. It's now Mr. Venus.
Teddy
Yep.
Narrator
Mr. Venus is going to moonbeam this column. Gremick and Barnaby.
Barnaby
Oh, great.
Narrator
That is gonna be a 20. Dirty 20 on that. So that is 3D12. Magic damage down that column as both Gremock and Barnaby take. That's not a great damage roll. That's 12 points of magic damage. Could have been a lot worse. Alrighty. Finishing Mr. Venus. Go. Brings us to Mabel with Pips on deck.
Teddy
Kick its ass.
Mabel
All right. Same old, same old. And you know what worked last time? I'm straddling that chin and going straight for the nose. Yeah. Let's go.
Narrator
Woo.
Mabel
Woo.
Narrator
Woo. Woo. Shoosh. Nine plus four. Thirteen. That hits. Good old damage. Hell, yeah.
Mabel
All right, damage time, baby. 5 plus 12 plus 11.
Narrator
17. 28 points of damage.
Pips
Let's go.
Narrator
Heavy hit. His nose kind of like denses a little bit. And the eyes kind of. It's getting furious. The color of its pupils is getting brighter.
Mabel
Oh, no. I'm, like, staring at it right in the face. I'm like, okay, your Hair's kind of.
Narrator
Like, starting to stand out like Ghibli anger.
Barnaby
Yep.
Narrator
Perfect reference.
Mabel
And then I do a cool backflip off of his chin.
Narrator
Back in your place. Perfect. Finishing your go. Pips, you're up with Grimac on deck.
Pips
Flaming arrow.
Zusari
Flaming arrow.
Pips
Oh, I don't think I got it. 11.
Narrator
11 hits. Evasion.
Teddy
Not hard to hit.
Pips
Okay. Okay.
Barnaby
So are you using magic?
Mabel
Let me know.
Narrator
I am.
Mabel
Okay, I'm stepping back.
Pips
All right, we got a six.
Narrator
Great.
Pips
We got a four.
Narrator
Ten.
Pips
We got a three.
Narrator
Thirteen.
Pips
We got a one.
Narrator
Fourteen.
Pips
We got a two. Sorry. And we got a one.
Narrator
Seventeen plus eight. Plus eight. Yes. So 25 points damage. Oh, a heavy fiery hit that it cannot defend against as you. The fiery arrows, like, arc into it and blast. As it does, one of the eyes kind of closes up, and the other eye gets even brighter angrily as this one's, like, darkened and dark, pulled inward, burned and closed.
Mabel
Ew.
Narrator
Yeah. Well done.
Mabel
That's nasty.
Narrator
Finishing you.
Mabel
Go.
Narrator
Grimmick's up.
Zusari
Grimmick hates moon creatures. They terrorized him. He's going to try to attack with the axe. 18. 18.
Narrator
18 hits.
Zusari
18.
Narrator
Let's go.
Mabel
5.
Zusari
So the 6. So 11. Plus 6. 17.
Narrator
17 points a day damage.
Teddy
All right, sharks in over.
Narrator
The axe finishes coming. Top of the round. Barnaby, you're up. Oh, sick.
Barnaby
I. I'll throw my boomerang at it.
Narrator
Let's go.
Barnaby
Okay.
Mabel
Thirteen.
Narrator
Thirteen hits.
Barnaby
Oh, sec. Okay, cool.
Narrator
And Teddy are up there.
Teddy
Oh, yeah. I'm ready.
Barnaby
19 damage.
Narrator
19 damage. Nice.
Barnaby
And then I'll roll for the damage for myself. And I'll take two.
Narrator
Oh, yeah.
Zusari
I was like, why do you keep doing that?
Barnaby
Oh, it's because the last moon cursed my boomerang.
Narrator
Yeah, sorry about that. All right, finishing your go. Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
All right, this thing's looking kind of rough. I see the chin's kind of going. I'm just gonna. I'm gonna run, and I'm just gonna do that. Just giant jumping fist right up in that chest. Yeah, you can.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
Sure you can. Well done.
Teddy
That's a 15.
Mabel
Four.
Teddy
So that's 19. And it's also in a crit.
Mabel
It is.
Narrator
Let's go. Roll that crit damage, baby. Come on.
Pips
Roll high.
Mabel
Ooh.
Teddy
Okay, so that's 10. 15. 23 times 2.
Narrator
46. 46.
Mabel
Oh, my God. I'm have to start paying for this guy's gym.
Narrator
You punch the chin off. You just fall on, and you watch as this blast of energy as Teddy just lifts in. The air. There's an arc of power off the fists and where the chin was, you just see this broken edge and the piece of it is glowing and ricocheting and just being fired off down the.
Mabel
Hall.
Narrator
Like, lands into the water. And the disabled chin ends up being carried out of the.
Teddy
Oh, man.
Mabel
I wanted that.
Narrator
You can find it later. All right, that finishes your go, Teddy. It is now Mr. Venus. Go. Mr. Venus is very unhappy and is going to go ahead and Crescent Storm. Everybody present in this room, Crescent Storm. That's going to be a 10 to hit.
Barnaby
Oh, nice.
Mabel
Not me.
Barnaby
Get Gremit.
Narrator
That doesn't get anybody.
Pips
No, I'm 11.
Zusari
Oh, you get gremic.
Narrator
Gremik takes 16 points of magic damage.
Pips
Oh, no.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
He's fine.
Pips
He's good.
Zusari
His magic defense is kind of decent.
Narrator
Alrighty. Finishing Mr. Venus. Go. That brings us to Mabel.
Mabel
Hey, what's up? What's up, players? Yo. I was pretty impressed. Impressed by your Shoryuken. So you know what? I'm gonna do that.
Barnaby
Sure you can.
Mabel
Here we go, baby. I'm gonna swing and do a little uppercut action. Thirteen plus four.
Narrator
That'll hit. Roll damage.
Mabel
One and three.
Zusari
Nice.
Mabel
And an 11. So we got 15.
Narrator
Fifteen points of damage. How do you want to do that? Once again, that's the second blast from that one.
Mabel
I don't know. I did the same thing last time. I'm kind of going for it. But you know what? I'm gonna straight. I'm gonna go and then go straight for the nose and like, just like crunch it in, you know, like the whole thing folds, right?
Narrator
So you smack it once, kind of knock it up in the air a little bit, and then leap up to catch it there and then full on. You watch as, like, it's one swollen, blackened eye. The other one's staring at you. That glow of energy is. It's about like moonbeam blast right in point blank range begins to build up as the hammer swoops in. The face just caves in and you.
Mabel
Hear, dang, eat this.
Narrator
Grimy goes. Hey, good one.
Mabel
Thanks, bro.
Narrator
As the face is carved in and your hammer's stuck in it and it's kind of holding you there and you're hanging from the hammer, the face spider cracks before bursting into hundreds of pieces. And you plummet and catch yourself and catch your hammer in the way, finishing that battle. Cool as hell.
Mabel
Yes, Mabel.
Teddy
All right, here's your chance. Say something cool.
Zusari
Say something cool.
Narrator
Yeah, just go for it.
Teddy
Come on.
Mabel
Damn.
Zusari
Yeah.
Barnaby
Writing that one down. Wonderful.
Zusari
Amazing.
Mabel
Thanks, y'all.
Narrator
While that's happening, Zusari.
Zusari
So what do I see while I'm up here?
Narrator
So you set up this mechanism. It's a massive stone clockwork contraption. There are levers and turning stones there. As you look at it. Go ahead and roll a D20. Add your magic.
Zusari
Nat 20. Yeah, I don't have any magic, but Nat 20.
Narrator
Well, sure, you like. You're worldly, you've traveled a little bit, whether by choice or by force, and you've interfaced with people of different disciplines. But there's one thing that's always enthralled you is the creation of clockwork. And the idea of not everyone who's trained in great runic magics can create things that can last and things that seem like magic, how they move, and whether it be watchmakers. Clockmakers. You've always had an interest in seeing people do this craft. As you watch the patterns of it shifting, you realize, oh, okay, these are how these things are moving. And if this piece were to be jammed and then turned the opposite direction, it would shut off the gate. And with that, you take one of your tonfas and jam it in there and break it at the right angle where the rest of the wheel sets loose and begins to spin rapidly. As it does, the gate closes, shutting off the source of water. And that entire basin now just slowly diminishes until it is traversable.
Mabel
Wait, wait, wait. I'm thirsty as hell.
Narrator
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Barnaby
To the bottom. I don't know.
Teddy
Hey, Pips, you can finally get. You found it. You can get in that little alcove.
Pips
Well, we should probably see what else is here now that there's no more water.
Teddy
Yeah, but you can into that little alcove while we're here.
Pips
Okay, I'm going to go over the alcove and just over where peek it. Oh, behind the waterfall.
Narrator
Oh, behind the waterfall. You glance in there and you can see that there is a hanging on a chain, a small object. It's a crest of a three pointed star that could have been used to open the door that was there. But there is also what looks to be a small bundle wrapped in cloth.
Pips
Okay, I'll go in there and get both of those items.
Narrator
Okay. You grab the chain with the item, and you grab the bundle and you realize, oh, it's not a bundle of cloth. It's an actual robe. And you gain a guard robe.
Zusari
Nice.
Mabel
Is that magic defense?
Pips
Yes, plus four defense. Plus two to magic moly.
Narrator
Not magic defense. Plus two to Magic. So it help. It helps the casting of magic.
Mabel
Yeah, that's perfect for you.
Pips
Dang.
Teddy
Okay, good find.
Zusari
Good find.
Pips
Hey, I found the key thing for the door. Should we just go?
Teddy
I mean like, let's open it. Cuz there could be something cool.
Mabel
No, no, no, no. We don't need to. Cuz I. I want it.
Narrator
So you're still up there.
Mabel
So why don't you just go down the stairs and check out what's in that room. We have access to it.
Zusari
Can I do that?
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
Okay.
Zusari
I'm just gonna go look in the room.
Narrator
Head on down. There's a small chest in the corner over here.
Mabel
Oh, so true.
Zusari
I have a little bit of trauma with chests, but I'm gonna open it anyway. Yeah, you guys can open the door if something bad happens.
Pips
Exactly.
Zusari
I attempt to open the chest.
Narrator
Okay, you open the chest and kind of kick it open. I need you to roll. No need for it. Here we go. I can use it over and over again and it never gets. It's old for me. It's old for all of you, but not for me. You get two medicine out of that chest.
Mabel
Nice.
Narrator
Yeah, cool. As well as what? A small scroll of runic magic?
Mabel
What'd you get in there? Zeus?
Zusari
There's medicine in here. And out of consideration for you, I won't tell you what else is in here.
Mabel
Oh, it's magic related.
Barnaby
Maybe you magic doesn't like you. I don't understand what.
Mabel
Yeah, we have a very toxic relationship going on.
Teddy
Schrodinger's irritation.
Narrator
Just go with it.
Zusari
Is there anything else I can see in this room?
Narrator
No, it's mostly an open chamber that just kind of leads to that doorway where you had more or less circumvented.
Zusari
Right.
Narrator
Hop on over there.
Mabel
Okay.
Zusari
Yeah, I'll go over. So we definitely join my friends.
Narrator
You hop down the rest.
Mabel
I definitely don't need that star thing anymore, so could I have it?
Pips
I mean, I don't see why not, but let's just hold on to it just in case.
Mabel
Yeah, I mean, I'll hold on to it.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
Here. Awesome.
Mabel
Hey, do you have any kind of like string or something?
Barnaby
Oh, ab. You want to wear it around your neck?
Narrator
It's actually got a chain on it, so you could.
Mabel
It does?
Narrator
Yeah.
Pips
Yeah.
Mabel
Oh, this is.
Barnaby
You're so accessorized.
Mabel
It actually kind of works. I'm not going to lie.
Narrator
Kind of clashes. Oh. Oh.
Teddy
Did the moon drop anything, by the way? I forgot the moon and the cards. Did they drop anything or.
Narrator
We'll get to that in a second. We're having a moment.
Mabel
All right, Grandma, you're kind of pushing your luck right now.
Narrator
Just being honest.
Mabel
All right. A good friend is usually on us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pips
I mean, it does take up portion of your body.
Narrator
Yeah. Another thousand potch from the Mr. Venus. And somebody roll a D20 for me.
Teddy
10,000, which turns into 166 apiece.
Zusari
12.
Teddy
That's right.
Narrator
12. Okay. That's all you find extra.
Teddy
166 of these.
Narrator
Yep. Okay.
Teddy
Who's rolling the D20?
Zusari
I already rolled it. Oh, all right.
Mabel
We didn't find him.
Narrator
All right, sorry.
Pips
Let's make our way over to over there. I guess now that there's no water, we might be able to just go straight into that room then.
Barnaby
Yeah, yeah, we should at least take.
Pips
A look instead of. I mean, maybe just go down this.
Zusari
Now that when I go down the.
Pips
Out, we could go that way.
Narrator
Did you want to.
Zusari
I think so.
Teddy
I want to kind of see just.
Mabel
Kind of sneak up in there.
Pips
Yeah.
Narrator
Reveals into this chamber. Hey. And to where water was also dropping from above. You can see there's, like, an entryway where another, like, part of the sluice system was dropping down into here and causing the water to rush out, but also has been cut off from turning off that machine. Now, as we enter into this chamber, there are two chests to each side. And it continues onward into a long, beautiful hall with an arched top.
Teddy
Let's check out those chests.
Mabel
The chests. Hey, Gremik, why don't you go over and open one of those chests, buddy?
Narrator
Okay. Watches over, opens the chest. Someone rolled you 20 and out of Gremic's decks.
Zusari
Nice. 17, 18. 19.
Narrator
19. Grant just jumps out of the way. This little beam of red energy and just detonates, creates a localized explosion that shatters the chest and probably would have done a lot of damage to anybody in the immediate vicinity of the chest. As the pieces of wood scatter and you all protect your eyes for a second, nothing is left in the place of the chest.
Mabel
Wow. Good job, Grammac. That was cool.
Narrator
You're still wearing that.
Mabel
What the hell? I kind of like. I kind of, like, pull my robe.
Teddy
Oh, man.
Mabel
It's cool, though.
Zusari
Very cool.
Mabel
Thank you. Thank you. I kind of pulled my robe back. Thanks.
Pips
You can pull it off.
Zusari
Don't be ashamed. You wanted that.
Teddy
There's another. There's a. Still another chest, though.
Mabel
Hey, Gremit, what are you doing right now?
Narrator
All right.
Mabel
What. Why don't you go open that other chest? Man, surely there's not another one. I'll give you a high five.
Barnaby
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice kick.
Narrator
Somebody in the chest. Roll a D20 at Grammax 670. Wow.
Barnaby
Opera as across from his face.
Mabel
Oh boy.
Narrator
Grant kicks his rope and looking back at you and puts a thumbs up like in slow motion, is like, no, right?
Teddy
As they.
Mabel
No. Oh, no.
Narrator
This white flash I like. They pull on anime, you see like the shadow of gremic as white fills the screen. Like we're talking about like Neo Tokyo, you know, Akira explosion. Gremig takes 35 points of magic damage. Oh God, he's still alive. After the ringing in your ears subsides, you all look over and Gremik is standing there, still with the thumbs up, but is just smoldering and smoking. All of his fur is just singed dark and he's like.
Mabel
Yo, grubbing, is there any treasure over there?
Narrator
Looks over and there's just like the ground is just a scarred black eyed cylinder.
Zusari
No, man.
Mabel
Grumpy's cool as hell. I walk over to him, poor Kremik.
Zusari
And I'm like, here, Gremik, you deserve this. I give him a medicine. Please drink.
Narrator
It's like weird. Like just slowly tongues the medicine over the period of 30 seconds.
Mabel
That's like weird.
Teddy
I don't know what that's triggering, but.
Narrator
He does heal 50 hit points.
Mabel
Oh, that's great. Hey, great job grabbing.
Narrator
That's what I'm here for. Cops of a spatter of blood.
Barnaby
That's internal. That's internal.
Pips
We should check that last room.
Barnaby
Yeah, let's go check that out.
Narrator
Over where? Here or this way?
Pips
Yeah, I'll go around.
Teddy
We're just going to look into.
Narrator
This door is indeed locked and latched.
Teddy
Is there anything looking through it, does it seem like there's anything?
Narrator
Well, all right. A4. A4. Best you can tell. Looks empty.
Mabel
What, the room?
Narrator
Yeah. Looking through the bars on the inside, yeah, you do see a mild like one chest across the way.
Mabel
All right, here I go. Wish me luck.
Teddy
I'm walking away.
Narrator
Roll Strang.
Mabel
15 and I guess plus three. Plus three. Yeah.
Narrator
The door caves in a bit. It doesn't quite break fully. You just kind of put your foot up and push and it. Nice dust colliding outward as that is now.
Mabel
Oh, when it counts, yes, that's yours. Aw. Hey, Gremon.
Narrator
No, no, no, no.
Mabel
What? What are you not going to.
Narrator
Three.
Mabel
No, Barnaby.
Teddy
Two.
Mabel
Oh, wonderful.
Barnaby
Don't mind if I do. I found this branch one time and it opens chests really well.
Mabel
And I will.
Barnaby
Yeah, I guess I'll try to poke it open with something.
Narrator
The lid opens up. There's just a small little platform there that has. Looks like a rolled up piece of ancient parchment. To present to you, a firewall scroll. Whoa.
Barnaby
Very cool.
Mabel
What is that? Oh, no.
Teddy
Get that shit away from me.
Narrator
Yeah.
Barnaby
I'm so sorry.
Mabel
This is.
Barnaby
This is bizarre. I've never seen a scroll that does some kind of lethal magic. That's in. Okay. I've only seen scrolls that teach me how to read the scrolls.
Narrator
Those are also the scrolls.
Mabel
Well then why don't you read that scroll?
Barnaby
Oh, it's only for that applicable scroll.
Mabel
Oh, I found that.
Barnaby
That's right. Yeah.
Mabel
Got it. The Rosetta stone, for one thing.
Barnaby
Yes, yes, it is up for sale.
Zusari
He must be quite the linguist.
Pips
I walk back through the.
Narrator
I think it's.
Teddy
I want to see what's in the fancy room.
Mabel
Yeah, me too.
Narrator
Let's go see what's in the fancy room.
Teddy
There's a fancy room. We were heading towards it, but what's.
Mabel
Going on with this right here?
Teddy
What's going on with this?
Mabel
Like, cuz we came from here.
Narrator
Right, right. So this actually was a wall.
Mabel
Oh, okay.
Teddy
Got it.
Narrator
That I didn't have room for to put the things on.
Mabel
Got it.
Narrator
So you return to this chamber. So you head down this long arched hallway for probably a good 50, 60ft or so before it opens up into a beautiful massive chamber. You can see in the back wall is a heavy set of stairs that raises to an upper platform and there are pillars that line the sides of it. You see two statues that mark each side. One that looks like one of the robed figures with the hood reaching outward towards the center. On the other side, you see a statue that looks like a big two headed snake. It has its heads curled up. There is on the upper area above the platform, a massive statue that looks like a hulking Sindarin figure that has its arms up and its hands out like this. And down in the center of it, there is this beautiful. Almost like a. A dried patch of wild looking vine and withered flowers that sits upon a stone platform like some sort of a plant nursery or a cultivated ancient flower garden that was built in the center of this chamber, like a massive indentation that's risen up and where all of this old plant matter was raised to what was probably a very vibrant color. And you can see amongst the withered browns and grays, just enough shades of undercurrents of color that it looks like it probably Was once extremely vibrant, but is now dried, brittle, and wither.
Mabel
Whoa.
Pips
Do we have any water?
Narrator
Beautiful.
Mabel
Well, we got rid of it, actually. Stop the water.
Barnaby
Oh, did we do this?
Teddy
That would have been pretty quick.
Narrator
I know.
Barnaby
I mean, I've met Jiraiya. Plants died immediately. What did you do to go.
Mabel
I'll take a look at the flowers.
Zusari
I guess I was gonna do the same thing.
Mabel
No, you go ahead and do it.
Narrator
Because go ahead and roll a D20. Add your luck. 10 10. Okay. Looking through the space, you touch bit pieces and parts of it. When you touch it, it crumbles away into dust. Other parts move, but it's easy to also move some of the vines aside as you do, and they fall away. This is very old, but this chamber was. Was important. And the way it's built and everything's driven towards the center here. This looks like it was once a prominent piece, part of the things. One of the things that possibly could be at the core of a temple. You're uncertain, but looking through, there is one little bud, one soft, faint, little, faintly pinkish bud that has the only real touch of color amongst all the rest of this. Oh.
Zusari
Can I pluck it?
Narrator
You can. You pull it and takes a slight tug. But this little budding herb that has a flowered part that's still enclosed is now at your. Thank you. Nice. Wonderful. You're going to hold it aloft. And you can sense this has some unique healing properties to it. Likely.
Zusari
I. I notice the bud is. I'm assuming it's pretty Sindarian. And I take it and I look at Pip and I give it to her, since she's an elf, and I know there's a connection there. And so I take it and I give it to her.
Narrator
So. Yeah.
Pips
Are you sure?
Zusari
Positive. It's probably better used for you, someone who's probably connected to this place than I.
Pips
This is so beautiful. Thank you.
Zusari
Of course.
Pips
Uh oh.
Narrator
The chamber shifts with a heavy impact, and you watch as big clouds of dust fall from the ceiling as you watch the massive stone entity on the upper stairs. Its foot has shifted forward. Its hands rest low as modicums of dust fall into drift down in clouds of ancient forgotten elements. And it begins to charge toward your troop as the ruin guardian has been awakened. Let's go ahead and get that ready.
Mabel
Okay.
Barnaby
Well, you weren't taking good care of it. Clearly what you wanted from us.
Pips
Yeah.
Teddy
What's everyone's max?
Narrator
HP 80.
Mabel
Yeah. Oh, big stone guy.
Narrator
Oh, boy.
Pips
Okay.
Teddy
What's your max? Hit points.
Zusari
My Max is 75, but I'm currently not there.
Narrator
Where am I? All right, everyone, roll D20. Add your speed.
Teddy
All right.
Mabel
Woo.
Narrator
All right. 25 to 20. 20 to 15.
Mabel
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Narrator
15 to 10.
Teddy
10? Really?
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
Really?
Teddy
Oh, boy, how exciting.
Narrator
Okay. All right. So you have Teddy.
Teddy
I guess I'm gonna be using the scroll on myself.
Narrator
Cause everyone else is defensive there. 10 to five. Six.
Pips
Nine.
Narrator
Okay, so.
Pips
So wait, wait.
Narrator
Nine. What'd you get? Five. Five. And you got six.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Zusari
Four.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Mabel
Six.
Pips
Okay, wait, so it's Ted, Pips, Barnaby. Barnaby.
Zusari
Me. What did you get?
Narrator
I don't wanna talk about it. Sorry. You got a one, and then.
Zusari
Wait, don't you add a thing.
Narrator
What did Grimmick did?
Mabel
I don't have speed.
Zusari
Oh, Grimmick. Where's his speed? 15.
Narrator
Okay, Gremik goes before most of you.
Mabel
Oh, Grimmick's cool. He earned it. He didn't earn it.
Pips
Wait, so I have a question. Matt.
Narrator
Yes.
Pips
So this guard robe, can I put it on?
Narrator
Yeah, you can put it on.
Pips
Okay, so then.
Narrator
So that adds. So your magic becomes a plus six. You can just mark that there.
Pips
Got it. Okay.
Narrator
And you get one more use of both of your spells. Oh, cool.
Pips
And then this says plus four defense. So would I add that to.
Narrator
Yeah. And your. What armor do you have right now?
Pips
I have.
Narrator
What's the bonus of your body armor? The bonus of your body armor you have currently.
Pips
Oh, bonus of my body armor.
Narrator
Oh, the leather coat would be plus three. So that gives it up to a plus four. So our defense becomes an 11.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
Sweet. All righty. So as all of you stand there watching as the Guardian comes towering and rushing towards all of you. It goes first because everyone rolled really bad. It's gonna begin with a seismic swing. It's gonna go ahead and swing and attack. Everybody in the front row. Oh, boy. That's gonna be a 17 to hit.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Narrator
All three of you in the front row?
Teddy
Yep.
Narrator
All right. You all take 38 points of physical damage.
Pips
Oh, my goodness, that's nasty.
Narrator
And you are all. As it slams its fist, the sheer immensity of its power causes a shock wave to blast you all back. And everyone switches. Rose, that's not good. I can't attack.
Pips
Okay.
Mabel
Hey. Do si do. Am I right?
Narrator
There you go.
Pips
Do si do.
Teddy
Wow.
Mabel
Ow.
Narrator
And that finishes the ruins. Guardian's turn. So bringing us back to Barnaby.
Zusari
You can play gremic now.
Barnaby
Oh, I go.
Pips
Wait. No, it's Grem.
Narrator
Oh, sorry. No gremic. I read that Wrong. Oh, sorry. My bad is good.
Pips
Gremic's going to go.
Narrator
Gremic cannot attack from the back row.
Zusari
Yes.
Pips
Oh, yep, that's good.
Narrator
Because Gremic has an axe, which is so Gremic would have to either defend or use an item or use the shift ability to change position positions with somebody in the front row.
Pips
I'm going to. You know what? Let's do defense.
Teddy
I would recommend shift.
Pips
Shift. Shift. Yeah.
Teddy
Just because we're gonna have to flip.
Pips
Let's shift.
Barnaby
What's the lowest physical defense then out.
Narrator
Of us three in the final.
Teddy
Also, whoever has distance attacks.
Zusari
Also, you might wanna.
Narrator
Actually, you should determine.
Teddy
Two of you should flip either or.
Zusari
Because you have the bow.
Teddy
Either of the two.
Pips
Barnaby, what's your physical?
Barnaby
Because, like, if he attacks, my physical defense is 12. So maybe if yours is lower than that, maybe you should switch. But I don't know what it is with the robe.
Pips
Let's switch with Barnaby. Okay, wonderful. Yeah, let's switch.
Mabel
Get me away from this thing.
Narrator
All righty.
Teddy
I'm gonna use this.
Barnaby
So cool.
Narrator
All right, with that, Barnaby, you shift back to the front and Gremic gets to the front. All right, that finishes your go there. Gremic is done. Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
I'm gonna use an item. I know I should switch, but I'm going to use the Clave Guardian scroll.
Narrator
That's.
Barnaby
Ow.
Teddy
So my defense is now 14.
Zusari
Oh, nice.
Narrator
Okay, cool. Yeah.
Mabel
Hey. Fight one Guardian with another Guardian. That's crazy.
Narrator
There you go. Cause.
Teddy
Ow. But, yeah, that's all I got.
Zusari
When you use the scroll, you only get that one use.
Barnaby
How are you looking?
Mabel
Yeah, pretty bad. 42.
Zusari
Good to know.
Narrator
Scrolls.
Teddy
Scrolls. Unless they have multiple dots, they're just one use only.
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
Finishing your go there. Pips, you're up with Barnaby on deck.
Mabel
My goodness.
Pips
All right, so I am going to take a shot and I'm going to try to do a firewall.
Narrator
Okay, let's go.
Mabel
That's just gonna make it harder. Right?
Barnaby
Well, you're smelting it.
Mabel
Yeah.
Pips
Nine.
Narrator
Nine, unfortunately, just misses. So you do half damage on that?
Pips
Oh, I do. Okay, so that's. So it's 96 plus 8. So 1, 3, 1 5, 6, 11, 2, 13, 5, 18, 1 19, 4, 23, 1, 25, 24, 6, 30 and 2.
Narrator
32 plus 8 plus 8, 40 points of damage reduced. So that's 20 points of magic damage. First damage taken by the ruins guardian. The firewall engulfs the front of it as it burns, you see, it pushes through, but nevertheless, the stone heats up. You can see the edges between where the various pieces of rock formulate the statue themselves crack slightly. It is taking damage. Great.
Pips
Okay. Okay.
Narrator
All right. That finishes your turn. Turn at the end of your turn. Pips. Barnaby, you're up.
Barnaby
Teddy, you look like you're gonna go down soon.
Teddy
I'm okay at the moment.
Barnaby
I'm gonna hold off just for a little bit. I will throw my boomerang at it.
Narrator
Let's go.
Barnaby
Not one.
Narrator
Wonderful.
Barnaby
Okay.
Narrator
Oh, boy. Nat 1.
Barnaby
I go. The power is just too much for me right now.
Narrator
Oh, great.
Barnaby
I take eight damage from that.
Zusari
Oh, no.
Narrator
All right. No. The ruins guardian, unfortunately has reached with its master of fist. So it is going to counterattack from the back row. So it is going to go ahead and attack you. That is going to be a 21 to hit you.
Teddy
Oh, my God.
Barnaby
That just about does it. That just about does it.
Narrator
All right. You take 38 points of physical damage as its fist just moves between. Gremik.
Barnaby
I'm well and sorry. Donald Duck to the side. You said 32.
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
Okay, cool.
Narrator
30.
Pips
38.
Narrator
38.
Barnaby
Oh, okay.
Narrator
Okay.
Mabel
22.
Narrator
Rough. Yeah, that's really tough. So that finishes Barnaby's turn. So sorry. You're up with navel on deck.
Zusari
Would you like to shift? Can I shift?
Mabel
Well, I need to. Yeah.
Zusari
Yes. I shift with. Is that my entire turn?
Narrator
That would be your action. Yeah.
Mabel
Worth it. Yeah.
Narrator
All righty. Finishing Zuzori's go to shift to get you in the front row. Maybe you're up.
Mabel
Oh, I gotta smack it. I gotta smack it real good. I'm gonna try to smack it like, in the. You know, the inner knee. You know what I mean?
Narrator
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mabel
Try to kind of like, knock it off balance. You know what I mean?
Narrator
Totally. Totally. Go for it. Let's go ahead and roll an attack on that.
Mabel
No. 1.
Zusari
No.
Mabel
I'm gonna roll with a different time.
Narrator
We're awesome. Oh.
Zusari
So you go the guardian to de roll all the ones.
Narrator
You go ahead and swing, and it hits the side of its knee, and the knee does not budge. The hammer goes like the wobble goes through your body. That's hard, too. And as you kind of gather yourself, you look up just as it brings his one fist up to counterattack from above. That's going to be a 22 to hit.
Teddy
Yeah, it just hits.
Zusari
Narrow.
Mabel
I think that. Why is it I can roll high on doors?
Narrator
27 points of physical damage to you.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
17 massive crushing blow. From above.
Barnaby
Jeez.
Narrator
All right.
Mabel
I'm really hurting.
Narrator
All right, that finishes your go back to the top of the round. Now it's the ruin Guardian's turn. Yeah. Let's see if it regains. Regains its sea seismic swing on a four plus. It does. It regains its seismic stack.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
It is going. I think I'll miss you.
Barnaby
You'll also miss me.
Narrator
However, it's going to use its shockwave ability. It's going to do +4 to all in a column. Since you emitted the firewall on it, it's going to go ahead and bring its hands back and hulk slam both hands together to go towards both of you in that column right there. For both Pips and Zusari.
Mabel
It'S going.
Narrator
To be an 11. Does 11 hit either of you?
Pips
No, just hits.
Narrator
It just hits you. So misses Usari. But it hits you. The shockwave blasts into you. You take no 30 points of magical damage.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
And you are silenced. The rune within you, your fire rune, suddenly goes quiet. And as you try and shout, nothing comes out and you lose the ability.
Pips
To use the 30.
Narrator
30 points.
Pips
Okay, so minus six.
Narrator
I'm going to connotate you as silenced with this. No.
Mabel
Is there a way to.
Zusari
Pips, are you all right?
Barnaby
I can get. I can fix. I've done it before. I can fix it, but I need to fix myself first. How about as large gashes? Take just about a moment.
Mabel
Just a little bit.
Pips
Just a moment.
Narrator
Alrighty.
Pips
Okay, Grimmick's turn.
Narrator
Indeed. Grimmick and Teddy.
Pips
Where did I put the.
Mabel
All right, Grick, show us what you got.
Barnaby
Shit.
Zusari
No. No way.
Pips
Five.
Narrator
Five misses. What are you rolling the dice?
Pips
Three.
Narrator
Three is within the ruin Guardian's counter range.
Barnaby
Oh, my God.
Narrator
This is real rough, y'all.
Zusari
This is really bad.
Narrator
The Guardian rolls a nine to hit Gremic. What's his evasion? Nine just hits. So dark.
Mabel
Oh.
Narrator
Gremic Grimoire takes 38 points of physical damage. All right, so you just like double. Double hand over. Just slams. Greg just kind of goes like flattens out the shield above. The Guardian's fists are still on the ground before it like dislodges them. Like bits of rock and stone falling and grabbing. Kind of like.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
Picks up the shield and the axe and kind of just looks back at you. I'm sorry.
Barnaby
I think it's cool.
Pips
Anyway, that's. You said 30. Do I use. That was magic defense or defense?
Narrator
No, regular defense.
Pips
Regular defense. Okay, so I could do. So it's 30.
Narrator
That would be 30 yeah.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
All right, that finishes Gremix. Go Teddy. You're up with Pips on deck.
Teddy
I actually have to flip with Pips because I can't do anything where I am. So we're flipping.
Narrator
All right, you get back there.
Teddy
It'll be fine.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Teddy
That's my turn.
Mabel
The elf row.
Narrator
Alrighty, finishing your Pips, you're up with Barnaby on deck.
Pips
Oh, shit. Okay. All right, so gremic is at 47.
Narrator
Oh, okay.
Pips
Oh, okay. I'm silenced. I can't use rune magic, so I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna take a shot with my bow.
Narrator
Alrighty. Go for it. Roll for an attack.
Pips
Okay, I don't think that's going to work.
Mabel
No. Wow.
Narrator
It's a seven to hit. Yeah, that misses. What'd you roll in the dice?
Pips
I rolled a three.
Barnaby
Oh my gosh.
Teddy
We are so.
Mabel
This is fucked.
Narrator
The ruins Guardians. So bad. Its crit range is in a one to three.
Mabel
Or.
Narrator
Sorry, its counter range is a one to three. So you roll the three. That is a counter attack. So as you release the arrow, you. You pull back, right? As the guardian sees it happening, you fire the arrow and it swats it out of the air and brings its hand down just to slam and crush you. Open palm on the ground. That's going to be.
Pips
Why didn't I heal myself?
Narrator
12 to hit.
Pips
Why did I take a shot?
Teddy
Why didn't I heal?
Pips
What did you say? 12 to hit as the hand is coming down. Why did I heal myself?
Narrator
Why did I do this?
Pips
Why was this a choice?
Narrator
Okay, not a great damage roll for 22 points of physical damage against you. That's a great one.
Zusari
Okay, you have that.
Narrator
That was a bad day.
Pips
Wait, you said. I'm so sorry.
Narrator
22 points of physical damage. Physical.
Pips
Physical. Okay, so that was 22 you said.
Barnaby
Correct.
Narrator
Great.
Mabel
Okay.
Narrator
As you just kind of like wham, just open palm crushes you onto the ground. You, like get pulled underneath the hand, eventually removes itself and you stick to it for a second and then kind of peel off and drop.
Teddy
Are getting slaughtered out of his turn.
Narrator
All right, finishing Pip's turn. Barnaby, you're up with Zusarion deck.
Barnaby
As much as I'd like to help everyone else here, I cannot go down or else I can't heal, nor heal anybody. So I will once again pull out this long slab, stone slab that is painted white. Looks very intricately detailed. We found this in some kind of ceremonial site. Don't ask.
Narrator
And then I'll.
Barnaby
I'll turn it around to face it as myself, as I get, like, blasted by a strong yellow light. And I will use my healing wind and I will heal to full HP from 18.
Narrator
There you go. Boo. 18. Yeah. You needed that.
Teddy
You do what you need.
Pips
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mabel
Cool. Hell yeah. I don't care how dead I am, don't use it on me. Okay.
Barnaby
All right. I'll use the rag.
Narrator
Your favorite rag. Hate the rag.
Mabel
I'm slowly canning it. No, no, no, I.
Narrator
Sorry. You're up.
Zusari
I also use one of my medicines to heal myself.
Narrator
All right. Heal your 50 to full health. Hell yeah. All right, Jusaria's done. Nickel, you're up.
Mabel
All right, Mother effer.
Zusari
I just, like, see everybody getting beat.
Mabel
Up and I go.
Narrator
Valid response, valid response.
Mabel
That's fair. That's fair. I'm gonna go for his knee again. Here we go.
Pips
Come on.
Mabel
Oh.
Narrator
Oh, my God.
Mabel
Oh, my God.
Narrator
You're a heavy hitter, but what did you roll?
Mabel
A three?
Narrator
God, this is so fucking ridiculous. Okay, I'm gonna roll this above the table.
Teddy
Yeah.
Narrator
Cause now we're getting to that fun point. All right, that is going to be a 12 to hit you.
Mabel
Oh, yes. I'm 13.
Narrator
13.
Mabel
It misses you.
Narrator
Oh, God. So it's a plus six to hit. So that's like, full on this time as you go forward and you're like, I got this. And you just. The fear of the last impact hits you and you kind of falter a little bit. And as you look up and see the shadow coming towards you, leap back just in time as the fist hits the ground, cracking the stonework and leaving this massive indent crater in the middle of the temple floor. All right, that finishes your turn. Top of the round. Rune guardian's turn. Yep. Yep. Let's see if it gets its shockwave back. It does not. Oh. It has a seismic swing, but instead, it's going to use its one a day special. It's going to use toxic fog.
Mabel
Of course.
Narrator
It inhales and exhausts from inside of its stone mouth this dark, brackish, purple brown fog that fills out the entire space there. That is going to be 10. Does 10 hit anyone?
Mabel
No, not me.
Pips
No. Well, it hits Gremic Grimmik.
Narrator
Gremik.
Mabel
No.
Narrator
Does 10 hit you?
Barnaby
No.
Narrator
Oh, man. Wow, he rolled really bad on that one. All right, so Gremik is poisoned. Gremik.
Teddy
Oh, thank you. Poisoned is so bad.
Pips
Okay, do you want to take over for Gremic now?
Narrator
Sure. Pass him along. Gremic takes eight points of magic damage from the Fog.
Teddy
And it's now poison.
Barnaby
Okay, so he doesn't take any because of his magic defense.
Narrator
Right.
Mabel
Gremic, how do you feel?
Teddy
Oh, boy.
Mabel
Grymick's cool as hell. You got an antidote, right?
Barnaby
I do, but you need to use your runes, right?
Pips
I mean, I can do more damage with the runes.
Barnaby
Yeah, but, I mean, I guess Gremic.
Narrator
Is up, by the way.
Barnaby
Oh, yes. Okay, great.
Teddy
Immediately takes 2d6.
Narrator
Takes 2d6 points. Magic damage?
Teddy
No. Of physical damage.
Barnaby
Or does he just straight take it?
Narrator
No, it's 2d6 damage, but ignores physical damage.
Teddy
Yeah, maybe ignores.
Narrator
Yeah.
Barnaby
So he takes the full thing.
Narrator
Yeah.
Barnaby
Okay, cool. He'll take six. Go down to 41.
Teddy
Oh, it's fine.
Mabel
Yeah, it's fine.
Teddy
This is another. I mean, well, you know, don't die.
Narrator
Don't die.
Mabel
Cool.
Barnaby
I assume he just wants to swing at this thing, so we'll go ahead and roll that.
Teddy
It should do some damage to this thing.
Zusari
Hit it, maybe.
Barnaby
Oh, nice. Okay, cool. 17.
Narrator
17 hits. Look at that. Look at that. We got another hit.
Barnaby
Cool.
Teddy
Oh, my God. This has just been.
Zusari
Yeah. Wow. It's been rough.
Narrator
Roll damage.
Barnaby
13 damage.
Narrator
13 damage. Gremik strikes it with a heavy ass. It scrapes it and does a little bit of damage. But this is a hardy entity, and its defense is high enough to the point where you have to do a lot of damage at once, because it is a high defense. It is a Stone Guardian. So Grimac, even with a heavy hit with his axe, it, like, kind of barely cuts through its stone. Finishing Grimx. Go, Teddy. You're up.
Zusari
How are you guys on health?
Barnaby
I'm baffled. I just.
Zusari
How are you on health?
Pips
I'm at 31, but I can take some health.
Mabel
Something.
Pips
Yeah, I can take something.
Zusari
I was wondering if you guys wanted to try, though.
Narrator
Oh, I want to try it.
Zusari
You want to try the whirling?
Mabel
Absolutely. Yeah.
Pips
Oh, let's try Whirling Fury.
Teddy
Okay, so I'll take my attack, and then you guys are going to do a whirlwind. All right, so I'm taking just a straight shot to see what I can do here, because I have waited for this. I'm gonna go and try and just get my fingers in its throat. Nat 20.
Mabel
Yes.
Narrator
Let's go.
Teddy
Just going for the throat hit right there.
Mabel
All right, that's gonna hurt your hand.
Teddy
That's worth it.
Zusari
These strong hands.
Teddy
My hands are strong. All right, that's 24 times two.
Narrator
What is that? 48. Heavy hit. Even with its defense, you break through With a heavy impact as you jump off its knee, off its shoulder, and then just impact it right in the throat. The stone cracks inward, and you watch as chunks fall free.
Mabel
Backflip back.
Narrator
You backflip back as the head shifts down in your direction and the hands try and reach for you and just go wide as you land, flipping back, landing on your feet right in the front, ready to go.
Zusari
We do take damage at the dragon drawback, so I don't know if you want to risk that right now.
Barnaby
Just letting you know, I run up and grab.
Pips
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Mabel
Hey, you want one?
Barnaby
What is this?
Mabel
It's one of the stones that fell off.
Narrator
Oh, absolutely.
Mabel
I put in my pocket.
Narrator
Hell, yeah.
Barnaby
It speaks to me.
Pips
So, in theory, all enemies take 3D8 plus double your combined strength stats. Takes all of our 3D8s combined.
Narrator
Sorry, this is four. Whirling Jerry. Whirling Fury.
Pips
Because I'm at 31.
Narrator
I don't know if this is smart.
Zusari
Right.
Narrator
So it's not based on weapons. All enemies take 3d8 double plus double your combined strength stats. So the idea is that you'd add all your strengths together and then double that on top of whatever the 3D8 is.
Barnaby
Gotcha.
Narrator
So it's more useful for, like, multiple enemies and groups, but single targets. It's debatable. But also you get to, you know, all roll and see if you Items. So up to you. Y'all take the highest roll.
Zusari
We can hold off if you wanted.
Barnaby
Yeah, but it's cool.
Zusari
It's cool. But it's like we take damage at the end.
Narrator
Yeah, it's cool. And you all get to choose the highest of the attack roll. So it's like.
Zusari
It's a better chance of it being successful.
Narrator
Up to you.
Zusari
It's up to you.
Pips
We can try it.
Zusari
You might want to try it.
Pips
Let's try it. We haven't tried it yet.
Narrator
Let's do it.
Barnaby
Let's do it.
Narrator
Let's go.
Teddy
Oh, boy.
Narrator
All right, so have you all roll an attack roll against the Guardian and the highest among you, we'll use. Ooh, six.
Barnaby
17.
Pips
Nice. We are adding. What do we add to it? Magic.
Narrator
Accuracy.
Pips
Accuracy. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 18.
Narrator
Oh, yes.
Zusari
10.
Narrator
All right, great. Yeah. So that hits. Nice. So someone roll 3D8. And what's your strength modifier?
Barnaby
My strength modifier is 1.
Narrator
1. What's your strength modifier?
Pips
2.
Narrator
2 is 3.
Zusari
Also 2.
Mabel
2.
Narrator
So it's 5, so 10. So roll 3D8 plus 10 damage.
Barnaby
Just one of us?
Narrator
Yeah, all of you do together. Yes.
Pips
3D8.
Narrator
Sorry, 3D8.
Mabel
3D8.
Narrator
Okay.
Barnaby
9.
Narrator
So 19.
Barnaby
Not the best rolls.
Narrator
No, that's okay. But however, it does still break past his defense and he does take a heavy impact. Describe how the three of you do your combined attack, Zusari.
Barnaby
I don't know if you saw earlier. I was.
Zusari
I've been wanting to try the throw.
Barnaby
I grabbed it and then I. I was like, start running in a circle.
Narrator
Okay.
Barnaby
The force of us do it. We start. Yeah, we start to hover. Cuz we like, we toss ourselves at and just kicks.
Narrator
Just impacts. Kind of knocks back a little bit. You both have all the impacts kind of also loosened your shoulders a bit in a rough way and you're all like, oh, that's gonna feel real rough in the morning. I hate that. But a heavy impact past his defense and you all take. I'll roll damage here on this. You all take. That's like three points of damage. Not too bad. All right, so that finishes your go. Pips, Barnby and Zatari, you're at middle. Of course. I'm up.
Mabel
Up. It's Mabel time.
Zusari
Mabel time.
Mabel
I'm gonna do the same thing. I gotta get this to work, man. Yep, I'm going for that knee. Here we go.
Teddy
I believe in you.
Narrator
Let's go.
Mabel
18 plus 4.
Narrator
That's nice. That's it. That's a crit.
Mabel
Oh, that's a crit.
Narrator
Oh, nice. Full damage.
Mabel
It's all coming back. 10 and an 8 plus 11.
Narrator
So 18 plus 11. 29 times 2. 58 points of damage. That's a heavy fucking.
Mabel
I run up and I'm like, fuck, this knee.
Barnaby
I'm just like, wham.
Narrator
The kneecap just explodes outward in a massive stone about the size of your torso. Like, like rolls down the stairs and skids by and you're like, oh, if that had hit somebody, it would have killed him. But then he kind of like falls onto one ground and now he's still standing, but just on one knee.
Mabel
Oh, cool.
Pips
There we go.
Narrator
Busted one leg and just busted out.
Mabel
Does that like change anything about him?
Narrator
Oh, that's reducing his defense a little bit. I'll allow it.
Teddy
All right.
Pips
Yes.
Mabel
Hey, we're all working together, right? Yeah. Hell yes.
Narrator
Yes.
Zusari
I softened it for you.
Mabel
We.
Zusari
We softened it for you. We did the buzz saw.
Narrator
So his defense is reduced a little bit. That finishes your go, Mabel. And now is the room's guardian's turn. Yeah, it's going to seismic swing since it hasn't Swing to all of you in the front row. Yeah. Yep. That's gonna be 21 to hit.
Pips
Wait, I'm in the back now?
Teddy
Yeah, you're in the back.
Narrator
Okay.
Teddy
I threw you back there.
Barnaby
Are we gonna switch?
Narrator
That is going to be 30 points of physical damage to Gremic, to Mabel, and to Teddy. And you all get knocked back into the.
Pips
You're at five.
Mabel
You got a heal while you're back there.
Zusari
You should.
Barnaby
Do not worry.
Mabel
I don't have anything. Yo, you still got that rag?
Narrator
I do.
Barnaby
Oh, you seem very excited about it.
Narrator
No, I just.
Mabel
I need.
Barnaby
The health is all right.
Narrator
As you all get pushed back and shifted back into position, wrangling your setup in a bad way. Finishing the Rune Guardian, Gremmack is up. Gremmink takes.
Mabel
Oh, I'm gremmink.
Narrator
Gremmink takes five points of damage.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
The poison.
Mabel
He's a 41 right now.
Pips
Wait, did he. What was the 30? The seismic.
Zusari
Oh, yeah. 30 fizz.
Narrator
30 fizzle. Yeah.
Barnaby
And then an additional 23, so. Because I don't think you mark the physical from the.
Mabel
Oh, yeah.
Narrator
So 23 damage.
Barnaby
Oh, he's actually pretty messed up.
Narrator
He's at 13 hit points.
Mabel
How do you feel?
Narrator
Oh, man, that's pretty bad.
Mabel
All right, Gremic's going for an attack.
Narrator
I guess Gremic cannot attack because Gremock's in the back row after being seismic slammed. I don't know.
Mabel
What's the. Oh, it's.
Teddy
Oh, so you can flip. So that's the one thing Remic can do.
Narrator
Is he actually come forward?
Teddy
Shift like I would. Yeah, I would definitely shift.
Narrator
Should he.
Mabel
Oh. Cause somebody's about to die.
Narrator
Well, also, he might be our healers.
Teddy
In the front row right now.
Mabel
Oh, I see. So I should switch with. Or Gremlin should switch with Pip.
Teddy
Or Barnaby.
Narrator
With me or with Barnaby.
Mabel
Oh, okay.
Narrator
Wanna do that?
Barnaby
Yeah, we can do that.
Mabel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Barnaby
Yes, please.
Mabel
Go.
Narrator
I was gonna say that.
Teddy
Or flip with me so I can attack other way.
Narrator
Yeah. All right. So that finished your Grammax. Go. Fuck. Teddy, it's your go.
Teddy
I'm changing my flip.
Mabel
All right.
Narrator
Who you flipping with?
Teddy
With Pips.
Narrator
All right. You got it? Yep.
Pips
Let's go, Teddy.
Narrator
Back up front. That's what I got.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
There you go. Alrighty. Finishing your go, Teddy. Pips, you're up.
Pips
All right, I'm gonna take a shot with my bow.
Narrator
Let's go. Yep.
Pips
Maybe I should heal myself. I'm gonna take a shot with my bow.
Narrator
You can also. You could also. So you also have a Unite attacks if you want to. Don't forget, you have that at your disposal.
Pips
Say again?
Narrator
Unite Attacks.
Zusari
Unite attacks.
Pips
Oh, I just rolled.
Narrator
That's cool.
Mabel
That rolled.
Pips
Shit. I rolled a nine.
Narrator
You rolled a nine? Yeah. Okay. A total of nine.
Pips
A total.
Narrator
Total of nine misses, unfortunately. But he does not get a counter attack on you. I don't believe. Right?
Pips
No, I rolled a five.
Narrator
Yeah, you're fine. Okay, cool. So you fire the arrows, splinters across the chest. No major impact. That finishes your go. Barnaby, you're up with a Susari on deck.
Barnaby
All right, no worries. Now take out a rag, and I'll rig it out.
Narrator
And I look away.
Mabel
Here it comes.
Narrator
Oh.
Mabel
Yeah.
Barnaby
Now I'm uneasy at all.
Mabel
I just start sucking on.
Barnaby
Oh, my gosh, dude.
Zusari
I record when I'm injured, and that seems. That seems quite. Quite refreshing.
Teddy
How you feeling right now?
Zusari
I'm great.
Teddy
Okay, there's a world if you want to double up.
Zusari
I'm completely open.
Teddy
Yeah, we'll lose defense, but I'm okay with that.
Zusari
I'll take. I can take it. Are you okay?
Teddy
I'm still in my. In the high 40s.
Mabel
All right.
Zusari
Yeah, we can do it. All right, I'm next.
Barnaby
55.
Narrator
Yeah.
Zusari
Do we wait till.
Teddy
No, if you initiate it, then I just lose my next turn, which I'm fine with.
Mabel
Okay.
Gremik
Yeah, let's do it.
Mabel
I take the rag that I just took out of my mouth, and now it's only sopping with my spit, and I just, like, thunk it on the.
Narrator
Ground, and I'm like, yeah, fill that rag up, baby.
Mabel
It just fooled us, like, make it weird.
Narrator
It just, like, doesn't even make.
Mabel
It just sticks.
Barnaby
My eyes are concerned, like, right behind.
Narrator
Yep, yep, yep.
Barnaby
It's like looking around. Oh, God.
Narrator
All right, well, that finishes. Bartimsco, Zusari are up.
Zusari
We're going to do our unite. I'm like, sensei, ready?
Narrator
Let's go for it. All right, so this will take up your next turn. Yeah. All right, I run four.
Zusari
Hopefully you rolled better.
Narrator
Eleven if both hit. All right. Otherwise only wimmies will have.
Teddy
If only one, we get D6.
Narrator
So you rolled a four.
Zusari
A total of eight.
Narrator
Eight that does unfortunately miss. Eleven that does hit.
Teddy
Okay, so we get the D6.
Zusari
Okay, so.
Narrator
Yeah, so otherwise only do damage for the weapon that hit plus 2D6.
Teddy
So I'm gonna. I'll roll for my attack, so.
Narrator
Well, unfortunately, you. The impacts of everything around. Hearing the shouting and the heavy, sick thud of the wet rag on the ground kind of unsettles you and distracts you briefly. So your strikes just go wide against the creature.
Mabel
I'm sorry. I got a little overexcited. I'll keep it together next time.
Teddy
And 13, 8, and 5. So that's 26 points of damage.
Mabel
All right. Got it.
Pips
All right.
Narrator
Not bad.
Teddy
Not bad, not bad, not bad.
Narrator
All right, that finishes your go. And that brings us to the Mabel's turn.
Mabel
Oh, hell yeah. Let's go for the other knee, baby.
Narrator
Yeah. Let's go. Eighteen. That's another crit.
Mabel
Another crit.
Narrator
Let's go.
Pips
That's what we need.
Mabel
Oh. 10, 6, 11.
Narrator
So 16, 26. 52 points of damage.
Mabel
It's that rag. It's all the rag. Did that rag be soaked yet?
Barnaby
Can I have some more of that? I do have more. I don't know if I want to.
Mabel
All right, here I go. I do this, like, whoosh. And then, like, the power overwhelms me, and I'm, like, spinning and shit. I'm like, yeah.
Narrator
Boom. Crack. Other knee slams up from underneath, and it falls down. That's gonna reduce its defense even further.
Mabel
Yeah. Doing work over here with the rag. With the rag. Status on the rag. Hell.
Barnaby
Marinating.
Mabel
Marinating.
Narrator
Awesome. That finishes your turn. That brings us back to the ruins. Guardian.
Barnaby
I can't attack.
Mabel
I was in back row. Oh, no, no.
Pips
No, no.
Narrator
We'll save that for your next turn.
Mabel
Oh, no.
Narrator
I'm gonna hold that onto that. We'll come back to that because that was an amazing turn. But for now, you're in the back row. Do you want to switch?
Mabel
Yes.
Narrator
Yeah. I take it you want to switch with Zusarion.
Mabel
Is that kosher?
Zusari
It's kosher, but I think you should switch with. No, he's at 13.
Narrator
Up to you.
Mabel
Yeah, I'll switch with Gremic.
Teddy
Yeah.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
All right. Grimac.
Zusari
Will, isn't Gremick, like, dying?
Teddy
No. Grimmix had 47 hit points.
Narrator
Oh, no.
Barnaby
Oh, no. He's had 13.
Mabel
You hang back, Gremic. I got you. I got you, buddy.
Narrator
Okay. All right. So that swaps will come. We'll serve that awesome moment for their next turn. All right, bring it over the top. It is now the runesguardian turn. It's gonna go ahead and do a massive front row swing.
Teddy
Oh, no.
Narrator
It's gonna do. It's gonna do back row. Oh, oh, oh. Because I can choose either.
Mabel
Gremnick. Gremnick.
Narrator
I'm gonna roll this in front.
Zusari
This was my fault.
Narrator
That's gonna be a 17 to hit.
Barnaby
I did this.
Zusari
Yeah, I did this.
Narrator
You did?
Barnaby
I did this.
Pips
Rolo, Rolo, Rolo.
Narrator
This damage in front, too.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Teddy
Oh.
Barnaby
Oh, that's rough.
Narrator
37 points of physical damage to everybody in the back row.
Pips
37.
Narrator
37.
Teddy
Oh, that's rough. Grimmick.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
Yeah.
Teddy
No, Grimmick's dead.
Narrator
So as he swings, you see it's going to go for the front row, and it kind of arches forward. It's one broken knee. It kind of leans over and just kind of heavy arc swings. It slams into all three of you.
Mabel
Can I do an emotional last ditch to try to get the hand out of the way to save Gremik?
Narrator
Because you just moved to the back row. I'll say you move up the hammer to do so, but it's not quite strong enough to resist it. As the impact goes by, the two other you see Pips and Barnaby stand, pulling back, and they look over Mitra. But you all notice that Mabel is not looking back at you. Mabel is looking at the unconscious and bleeding body of Gremming that is just flat on the ground. Now, healing somebody while they're unconscious does nothing. They only recover after battle. Unless you have a way of reviving an ally.
Mabel
Okay, Grimmik. No.
Barnaby
Okay, I'm covered in Grimmick right now. Oh, my God. My ears are ringing. It's like my heart down.
Mabel
I get a fire in my eyes.
Narrator
Okay, that finished the runes guardians. Turns gremic. Doesn't get a turn because Grimmick is unconscious and is out of the battle. Teddy, you're up.
Teddy
I have to skip my turn because we used.
Narrator
That's right. You used your thing. Last turn.
Teddy
Pips, you're up.
Narrator
Barnaby on deck.
Pips
Okay, I am at two hit points. I am going to heal. Take a healing potion, please. For 50 GP, I could also heal.
Barnaby
You, and then that way you can take an attack. Oh, but I guess if you miss horrible wrong.
Pips
Yeah. Then you goes horribly wrong.
Barnaby
Then something goes horrible.
Narrator
I got it. I got it. I got it.
Pips
Okay, so I am now at 52.
Narrator
You got it.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
All righty. Barnaby, you're up with the Zusarion deck.
Barnaby
Anybody else super messed up right now?
Teddy
I'm holding.
Barnaby
Fine.
Narrator
Yeah.
Zusari
Okay.
Teddy
I can take one big.
Mabel
I'm only emotionally messed up.
Narrator
Yeah.
Barnaby
That speaks to me. Yeah, I will. Yeah. I will throw my boomerang at this guy.
Narrator
Let's go.
Barnaby
Oh, my God. What the Crazy seven. I rolled a four.
Narrator
I rolled a four. You're outside of the counter.
Barnaby
I will still take the eight from it. Dude, I take another eight. That crazy.
Narrator
This is absurd.
Barnaby
Bad luck, y'all.
Mabel
This is so crazy.
Barnaby
My clubs have made melted into my skin. We'll talk about it later.
Narrator
No worries.
Barnaby
That's crazy.
Narrator
I'm pretty sure that's just flesh. There's no love left. All right, finishing Barnaby's. Go. That brings us to Zusari.
Zusari
All right, let's get a hit, please. Okay, 14.
Narrator
14 hits.
Mabel
Let's go, please.
Zusari
Good damage roll.
Barnaby
Good damage roll.
Narrator
13, 13 damage.
Mabel
Oh, wait.
Zusari
13, 19, 14, 15, 16, 17.
Narrator
17 points of damage. All right, great. So while still reduced by its defense, still a heavy hit that cracks through the stone. Start and show wear and tear. The Guardian is starting to look damaged. You are impactfully. It has crossed a threshold of bloodied. It is now. If it could bleed, it would be bloodied. It is about half health, I'd say. Okay, that finishes your turn, Mabel. Now you. Awesome rushboard. Earlier, while you were in the back row, you had this, like, vision of the future. This brief burst of the moment where you're like, wait, that could be me.
Mabel
I'll do it right now.
Narrator
For Kravic. Rush up.
Mabel
Wham.
Narrator
Knock out its knee. Critical hit.
Mabel
Boom.
Narrator
48. Damage reducing its defense. Now falls on its second knee. It's almost like you had foresight. You can see the future. Whoa.
Zusari
That was like magic.
Mabel
No, it wasn't. It was just my. My love for Gremic is all.
Narrator
That's all it was for.
Zusari
Gremic is magical.
Mabel
Yes. Yes.
Zusari
There it is.
Narrator
All right, the ruins Guardian is going to go ahead and shockwave.
Mabel
Oh, boy.
Narrator
To this column here. I'm going to roll this in front.
Zusari
Which column? I'm the one I'm on.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Narrator
That is going to be an eight to hit.
Barnaby
Oh, it's just not.
Narrator
Rolled a natural two. Oh, that means.
Teddy
Does anybody get a counter on that?
Zusari
No, it's a two.
Teddy
My counter.
Zusari
He rolled a two.
Narrator
He rolled a two.
Zusari
I count as four.
Narrator
Yeah. So both of you get a counterattack on 20 seconds.
Zusari
Nat 20.
Narrator
That's what it's about.
Mabel
My.
Narrator
Look, I swear to you, it's not scripted's crazy. This is why we shoot all. I know, dude.
Barnaby
We like. That's crazy. Oh, my God.
Narrator
Be the balance. Roll one.
Zusari
Which camera? The balance.
Pips
The balance.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
All right, well, both of you guys roll your damage and then double it. Oh, my gosh, you guys, this is so cool, dude.
Mabel
It's. It's all from Gremic.
Barnaby
Is there a chance he's doing that?
Pips
Yes, he is.
Zusari
22 time.
Teddy
Is that including your plus?
Zusari
That's the double I had. 11, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Oh, wait, no, it's not plus, dude. So I'm sorry. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. So 30.
Narrator
Actually 30 points of damage, y'all.
Barnaby
I did 62 damage. Yeah, that was. I rolled. All right, 12, 8, 20, 24. Wait, 24 plus 7, which would be 31. So 62.
Pips
Yes.
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
62. Oh, my God. Yo, Revic didn't need us. We needed Revit.
Narrator
Rebecca.
Barnaby
Holy shit.
Mabel
Wow. That's so good.
Narrator
Wow.
Teddy
Holy.
Narrator
That is. Oh, man. Yeah, that swung things the other way a little. Okay. Dang.
Pips
Is he still up?
Narrator
Oh, yeah, he's still up.
Mabel
Oh, shit.
Teddy
Oh, my God.
Narrator
Okay, that was.
Teddy
That was his attack.
Narrator
Wild. All right, Teddy, you're up. Yeah. The Guardian is not now like. Like on the. Doesn't have the feet up on the knees. It's on the back knee after losing both knees and is like, I'm.
Teddy
I'm just gonna spend my turn going, no.
Mabel
Okay, yeah.
Teddy
I'm going for it.
Narrator
Come on.
Teddy
That's. Oh, my God. That's a crit. It's 15.
Mabel
Oh, my God.
Teddy
Okay.
Narrator
Never forget.
Mabel
I run over to Gremock's body and I see. I take my star necklace off and I pull it on him.
Narrator
Yes. I go in and I'm just.
Teddy
And I just go like, full running. I'm trying to get to the dragon. Punch right to the chest, like, right.
Narrator
Where the heart is.
Teddy
And it's 52 points of damage.
Mabel
How do you wanna do that? Yes. Let's go. Let's go.
Teddy
Yes.
Narrator
Jim.
Zusari
Crazy.
Teddy
Woof, woof, motherfucker.
Narrator
You punch through and you watch as the back outside the back of his shoulder just rocks go flying out the side. As you pull your hand back, you see this massive hole in the Guardian's chest. The Guardian starts tumbling and breaking off in pieces. The stones crumble and tumble, and eventually, as it tries to lurch forward its fists, he watches its body, before it can get the momentum to even strike back at you, just crumbles apart and fills the ground with shale and broken stone.
Zusari
You're grounded.
Mabel
Hey.
Pips
Oh, I am going to run over to Grimmik.
Mabel
Me too.
Pips
Great. And I was given this budding healing herb from Zoo.
Zusari
Yes.
Pips
And it revives one ally to one hp. So I'm going to go over and just scruff his little head and just like, open his mouth and just shove.
Narrator
You've obviously fed a dog a pill.
Pips
You're like, no, no, no, no. Close this it out. Just swallow. Just swallow. Just swallow.
Narrator
Hey, buddy. Sees the pile of stone. You got him.
Mabel
You got him. Where?
Narrator
Treasure.
Mabel
Oh, Kremic. Look down.
Narrator
Kremlin. Treasure. For Gremik.
Barnaby
For you.
Narrator
Gremik been treasure whole time.
Mabel
I mean, I was talking about your necklace, but you've been the treasure the whole time.
Zusari
Gremic says the treasure was you, Gremit.
Narrator
Gremik has a lot to think about. Gremik's not. Wasted a lot of time. Took a lot of time to learn treasure within.
Pips
Yeah, yeah.
Narrator
Kind of clashes.
Mabel
Looks better on you, Gremik really does.
Narrator
It does. Right? As the room shifts slightly and you watch as the stone statue of the two headed serpent shifts slightly and you hear in the distance, something move. Something large. You hear this heavy slithering sound from beyond the hall of where you are currently in. There is no other exit to the chamber that you currently sit in, but the hall you came from. And that sound is coming from that direction. What do you do?
Mabel
Hey, Grem.
Narrator
I can't breathe.
Barnaby
Oh, God.
Narrator
Yeah.
Mabel
How are you feeling right now, bud?
Narrator
Greg? Honestly, a little windy. We have something for Greg.
Barnaby
Give us some of that rag.
Narrator
Broken stone. And then there's the hallway you exited from. There's nothing else in this chamber. The central part of the chamber, really. The part of this temple that it was protecting and gardening, or was this garden in the center and the one living piece from it you removed and ate and then gave it to bring Grimit back to life. So the treasure of this part of the temple was found and used, and something is now shifting and slithering elsewhere in the temple, coming from the sound of your only exit. What do you do?
Pips
We gotta make a run for it, I guess.
Zusari
Okay.
Mabel
Let's do a mad dash, right?
Barnaby
I can always try to put it asleep.
Mabel
I think we gotta get out of here.
Zusari
We have to leave.
Narrator
I think we should.
Barnaby
Yeah.
Narrator
We going?
Mabel
Yeah. What do you think, Remick?
Narrator
I think. I think Remick has made new friends. Let's go.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
You're my treasure. You hear this weird slithering kind of hissing sound from beyond in response to your loud howling that draws attention to your area. And you all just start running out through the hallway that you came from. You can see where the of the aqueduct begins, where the water had been set out. You all notice as you see a shadow slither past the opposite side of that chamber where you had originally come through. Something that fills this chamber moves by. Grimmy goes. I'm scared.
Mabel
Wait, sir. There's Something in that.
Narrator
You all exit this area and you see something. Large black shadow.
Zusari
Just go right there.
Teddy
Okay, what we're gonna do, turn around. We're gonna break. We're gonna break the dam that's holding the water back.
Pips
Yeah. And ride the water out.
Narrator
We're gonna ride the water out. Ride the water out. Yeah. Ride the water out. Yeah. Let's do it.
Mabel
Ride the water out. We're gonna ride the water out.
Pips
Okay. Can I try to, like, peek around this corner and try to shoot this to get it started?
Teddy
I was gonna say we can, because it's okay. Cause it's like a metal thing.
Narrator
A gate has fallen to close off the water supplies. So you have to either break the gate or somehow get the machine to make it.
Barnaby
Nothing.
Narrator
I mean, you could try and shoot if you think there's something on there. It's gonna be a very hard shot.
Teddy
But it's possible breaking the gate might be.
Pips
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Break the gate. Sorry, I didn't realize about the gate.
Narrator
That's all good.
Pips
Break the gate. Mabel, would you do the honors?
Mabel
Oh, it's just the gate, right?
Narrator
Yeah. Okay.
Mabel
I can just run up and hit it.
Teddy
Then we wait for the moment. Yeah, we're going to time this.
Narrator
All right. The shadow shifts by and heads this area. You have a closer look of it now as you're all down in the basin. It looks like a gargantuan serpent. Something that's probably a good 15ft wide and is endlessly long. 60, 70, maybe 100ft. And you swear for a second, you almost saw one. No, two heads slither by as it vanishes this way.
Mabel
Whoa. If we weren't about to die, I'd.
Barnaby
Say that's cool as hell.
Teddy
Okay. Wait for it to come back. And once the tail goes by, once you hear it pass one more time, we're gonna make a run for it.
Narrator
Fuck out of it.
Mabel
Yeah. Okay. I'll cough off.
Pips
I'll cough.
Teddy
All right, I'm going, and I'm going with you.
Mabel
Yeah. All right.
Narrator
You both just go charging down the basement. Yes. Both of you roll. Strength checks for me.
Pips
Come on.
Mabel
12 plus three.
Teddy
No, no, I rolled a one.
Zusari
No.
Narrator
Oh, no. All right, so you go. You go in like. Like your fingers kind of like kind of crack and break backward. You slam into it once, it cracks, but it's not enough. No, no. You can try again if you want to. However you hear in the distance, the heavy impact echoes.
Teddy
Hit him again.
Mabel
I'm gonna try again. I'm gonna try again.
Narrator
Go for it both of you roll again. Better.
Mabel
19 plus 3.
Narrator
15. Okay. You beat a 20.
Mabel
Yeah.
Narrator
It impacts and breaks. The water fills the basin, spreading by an incredible speed. The rest of you that are waiting on the side suddenly get picked up by the water. As all of you now are being rushed in the rapids, the massive two headed serpent comes around the corner and sees you all rushing in the water and is going to take three bites at those that come first. Since you were both the first two coming in there, who amongst you would be the first in the base? And I'll let you choose.
Pips
Should we roll for it?
Narrator
Sure, sure. You know what? All three of you roll a D20 and then I'm going to roll for Gremik.
Zusari
13.
Narrator
19.
Pips
17.
Narrator
13, 13. You and Gremic. Let's roll again.
Mabel
Rollies, rollies.
Zusari
2:15.
Narrator
It's you. Me. All right, all right. So it's going to be a 14 to hit you.
Teddy
It hits.
Narrator
You take 35 points of physical, physical damage.
Barnaby
Ouch.
Narrator
As it bites you okay?
Teddy
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
Narrator
It's going to be a 11 to hit you. No misses. You basically go underneath, the water goes by and then coming towards you. Sorry.
Mabel
I pick up my hammer and I.
Narrator
Ride the whole boat. So the two of their heads snap by.
Barnaby
No impact.
Narrator
You're all riding in the water, trying to tread water as best as you can. Into the carries you around the corner underneath where the broken gate was, into the next chamber beyond, rocketing through until eventually you can see there's just a wall and the water, you don't know where it's going to come to. And Grimac's like Kripicrack swim. It's just like being dragged up and over the surface. The serpent is slithering up along the wall, trying to keep up with you all. And you can see its shadow going up along the edge and trying to follow suit. As you're getting to that, the water then ducks beneath it, sucked into an underground basin and everything goes dark. All of you have to hold your breath in the last minute.
Pips
Hold your breath Grim.
Narrator
And then pulled under. I need you all to roll a protection roll for me.
Teddy
What on earth?
Narrator
Protection roll. Roll D20 and add your protection. Oh, that, that, that. This is more or less your endurance.
Pips
Wait, what's protection?
Narrator
24. Statistics 29, 20, 21. 19 for Gremlin 21.
Zusari
No.
Mabel
Pardon me.
Narrator
So an impossible period of time passes, seconds, minutes. Who knows of shadow, where you are holding your breath till your lungs begin to burn, until you have no choice but to about to. You are jettisoned out of a river waterfall down into a lake on the opposite side of that mountain edge. And release. As all of you eventually come to the surface. Get your breath and swim there for a second and look at each other and check in. Grandma gets up there and you see the floating shoulders of Barnaby, who is currently in the process of drowning Barnaby. Flip him over.
Zusari
Yeah. Swim to him and try to grab him.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
Flip him over.
Narrator
Okay.
Pips
I'm just going to whack him in his chest.
Narrator
Awesome. Roll a strength check for me.
Pips
Okay.
Narrator
To beat a 10.
Pips
Definitely 20.
Narrator
20. Wham. Kind of cracks your sternum. Let's be real. And you're sore for a while, but you. And it just sprays through the helmet. It's just some of it gets in your own eyes because there's not a lot of room for it to go.
Mabel
Oh, God.
Barnaby
I think the boomerang took me. It took me. I'll be honest. It did take me for a minute there. Thank you.
Mabel
Thank you.
Zusari
I go over to sensei and I grab the rock that is just above room temperature and I place it on your chest.
Barnaby
Is this.
Zusari
That is the rock that is just above room temperature.
Barnaby
It's true.
Narrator
How heavy is that rock?
Barnaby
So heavy.
Narrator
It drags you back underwater.
Barnaby
Oh, gosh. Here it goes. It seems that these items weren't useless magic at all.
Zusari
Never.
Barnaby
It was just dependent on how you use them.
Zusari
Yes. As all things are.
Teddy
We couldn't hear that though, because you're.
Barnaby
But I tried to get that across.
Narrator
You all take a minute to recover your breath.
Mabel
Wow.
Narrator
And get an idea of where you now sit amongst the forest. It takes you the better part of the afternoon before you. And finally return to the White Deer Inn. Exhausted, waterlogged, but nevertheless Alex, Hilda and Pete are there waiting. And as soon as you step within the door, looking worse for wear, Alex immediately pipes up, friends, friends, you've returned. My goodness. Tell me, what did you find? Did you find the treasure?
Pips
That was fun.
Zusari
It was.
Mabel
Yeah.
Zusari
Quite thrilling. And accelerating.
Barnaby
We were supposed to find stuff.
Zusari
We did.
Narrator
Oh, we did? You did.
Teddy
We found a lot of. We found also a giant serpent. There's a giant. Giant serpent down there.
Narrator
It's a lot.
Teddy
At some point, you may want to.
Narrator
Get that looked at. Yeah. All right.
Zusari
Armies of men, perhaps.
Narrator
Yeah.
Barnaby
We did leave that door open.
Mabel
Yeah.
Teddy
Would it have to go down the. It would have to.
Barnaby
Right? I'm just saying. Inevitably.
Mabel
Yeah.
Teddy
No, that door is open.
Barnaby
You might wanna. Might want to do what I didn't have.
Narrator
But the treasure. Did you find the treasure? And big old hairy PA pushes past your shoulders as a barely conscious, bloodied Gremik steps forward and goes, I'm the treasure. And Alex goes, all right, you know what? I'll give you half what I promised. It's fine. I'll find somebody else to figure out where it is. But thank you all. And he counts up a bunch of potch and gives you a pouch and is like, why do I keep doing this? Lola's like, it's okay, honey. He's like, maybe I'm not cut off for this treasure hunting business.
Zusari
To be fair, you're probably not. You ran at the first sign of danger.
Narrator
No. You told me to go home to my family.
Zusari
I did. No, I told you to.
Teddy
And, you know, this is a really nice inn. This is a great inn. I couldn't run an inn this nice.
Narrator
No, this is a. I'm going to.
Pips
Give you 100 potch for the evening and the food that you gave us, and a little extra for 10.
Narrator
He kind of looks you all over, I think. You've certainly put in the work. It's fine.
Zusari
I go to Gremic, and I remove the necklace. And I go. Everyone says this is clashing. Maybe this will fetch you a pretty potch takes it.
Teddy
Hmm.
Narrator
I could probably hawk this in Mew City.
Zusari
It's definitely an artifact.
Mabel
Mm.
Teddy
Smells great, too. Sorry, Barnaby.
Narrator
It smells real good anyway.
Barnaby
It's real good.
Narrator
It's cedar.
Teddy
Yeah, it's really nice. It feels clean.
Narrator
It's herbal. Reminds me of dawn on a fine spring eve.
Teddy
Oh, that's the mold down there. It's amazing.
Narrator
Oh, I shouldn't be breathing this. Okay, well, you know what? For the first venture in, you've taught me how to get through the front door, and that was the first step. With that knowledge, I'll keep an eye out for some other possibly talented folks that might be able to get a little further in. There has to still be treasure in there. It's too big a temple. I got faith. But in the meantime, why don't you guys stay the night? We'll take care of it. We'll get you breakfast. And, hey, who knows? You're mercenaries, right?
Teddy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zusari
More or less.
Narrator
Traitor. Just heard a rumor that there is some sort of an odd scuffle that might be breaking this armistice. Conflict might be on its way. Looks like there could be opportunity coming up anyway.
Mabel
That sounds dope.
Narrator
Well, let's get you some croissants. Hilda.
Mabel
Yeah, there's the ale.
Teddy
Carbs and sleep. Carbs and sleep.
Mabel
Where's Peanut? You didn't open that jar, did you?
Narrator
You just hear piss. And that's where we're going to end our adventure for tonight. Piss. Oh, my goodness. Thank you all so much for coming along for this insanity.
Zusari
So much.
Barnaby
That snake is. Oh, gosh, that was terrifying.
Narrator
Oh, God.
Barnaby
No more open well, fun bit.
Narrator
You know, canonically, in Suikoden ii, you get to continue this adventure at this temple. This temple exists there, and that snake might have something to do with that temple. So this. While it's not canon within Suikoden, what we did today, it is inspired by the events. I did try and fit it somewhere in the narrative where at least if you play through Suikoden ii, you can be like, I know this place. Keep an eye out for some familiar things.
Zusari
I was like, there's something here.
Narrator
Yeah, there is indeed. But no. Thank you all so much for joining us. Once again, go through Ashley Johnson, Taliesin Jaffe.
Teddy
Hello.
Narrator
Sino Robinson, Zach Ronaldo, Aaron Hanson. I want to tell the folks they can find you on places on the Internet and such.
Barnaby
You can find me ackthebold on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, wherever you get your short form content, where I make D and D videos and magic videos. And you can check me out there.
Narrator
Fantastic.
Zusari
I'm at Childish Gamzino at all any and all social media platforms. Yeah.
Narrator
Hell yeah.
Mabel
And go check these two out.
Narrator
There you go. And him too.
Zusari
You just have to maybe Google it.
Barnaby
If you want to do the legwork.
Mabel
Go ahead, check these two out.
Narrator
Hell yeah.
Zusari
He's worth it.
Mabel
He's worth it.
Narrator
Great people at this table. Thank you so much for joining us. It was so much fun. Thank you, you, Konami, for letting us play in your world as part of the Suicide and one and two HD remaster. This was. Oh, man. I've. I've. They sent me an early copy so I can prep for this. And it was such a flashback to my childhood. Hell yeah. Come on, I'll show you that. But thank you so much for playing it. Once again, reminder this. Well, this is not canonical to Suikoden 1 and 2 A3 master. It is inspired by the events there, but we're so happy to play in it. We hope you had as much fun as we did. And may you indeed find the treasure that is Grummik inside all of us. Yeah. Love you very much. Thank you for joining us. See y'all next time. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. To help new listeners discover the show, please give us a rating and review on whatever podcasting app you're listening on. Until next time.
Mabel
Is it Thursday yet?
Episode Title: Suikoden One-Shot
Release Date: March 18, 2025
Host/Author: Critical Role
Description: Dive into an exhilarating tabletop roleplaying adventure inspired by the legendary Suikoden saga. Join a group of talented voice actors as they navigate the perilous continent of Issylra, battling supernatural threats and uncovering ancient mysteries.
The episode begins with the Narrator welcoming listeners to the "Re Slayer's Take," an audio adventure set in Issylra—a land teeming with dangerous creatures and ancient secrets. The Reslayers, a notorious monster hunting group, have been tasked with investigating the mysterious resurgence of previously slain creatures.
Notable Quote:
Narrator [01:04]:
"Here, the Slayer's take as the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm."
The adventuring party consists of five members, each bringing unique skills and personalities to the table:
Notable Quotes:
Teddy [06:40]:
"I'm feeling nine down. You're five down. I think that's all we got."
Pips [12:39]:
"We spent like this the entire time fighting like a team. I just wanted to know if we're close or whatever."
As the party ventures beyond Mew City into the scrub brush-lined roads of the Josten Alliance, they are ambushed by three shadow wolves. The group engages in a tactical battle using a customized Suikoden-inspired combat system, showcasing their collaborative skills and individual combat styles.
Notable Quotes:
Mabel [09:54]:
"Hey, gem head, can you drive straight? Depends."
Teddy [10:00]:
"Can you actually sit down and shut up?"
After repelling the initial threat, the party encounters Alex, a wandering treasure hunter who recently lost his horse and seeks assistance in exploring the ancient Sindar ruins. Recognizing the opportunity for renown and potential wealth, the Reslayers agree to join Alex's quest.
Notable Quote:
Alex [35:56]:
"So, my wife and I have purchased this charming inn... Should you be interested in making yourself a bit of renown and a little bit of potch on the side."
Navigating through the Sindar ruins proves challenging as the party faces numerous adversaries, including undead creatures and enchanted guardians. Their journey is marked by strategic combats, the discovery of magical items, and interactions with NPCs like Gremik, who becomes an unexpected ally.
Notable Quotes:
Mabel [15:05]:
"I don't wanna, I don't fuck with magic shit, though."
Barnaby [36:07]:
"This is a screaming spoon. When you put it in hot soup, it screams. Would you like one?"
The Reslayers reach the heart of the Sindar ruins, where they encounter Mr. Venus—a massive, sentient crescent moon guardian. A series of intense battles ensue, testing the party's resilience and teamwork. Utilizing enchanted weapons, scrolls, and sheer determination, they manage to weaken and ultimately dismantle Mr. Venus, securing the ancient treasures hidden within.
Notable Quotes:
Teddy [94:06]:
"I'm gonna take out this guy."
Mabel [236:38]:
"I cyclone, I'm putting the rag in your mouth."
Barnaby [244:07]:
"I do have another thing for you."
Victorious but exhausted, the party returns to the White Deer Inn. They are greeted by Alex and Hilda, the innkeepers, who commend them for their bravery and share insights about future threats looming over the realm. The Reslayers receive their reward and acknowledge the bonds they've forged during their perilous adventure.
Notable Quotes:
Alex [305:56]:
"For the first time ever, Beacon members also get things like live event presales, merch discounts..."
Pips [305:57]:
"We got a little money on him. We have to take care of it."
The episode concludes with the party reflecting on their journey, the treasures they've acquired, and the challenges they've overcome. They express gratitude towards their hosts and listeners, hinting at future adventures and the enduring spirit of camaraderie that defines Critical Role.
Notable Quote:
Narrator [305:57]:
"This was inspired by the events in Suikoden 1 & 2 HD Remastered... we hope you had as much fun as we did."
"Suikoden One-Shot" serves as a thrilling homage to the classic RPG series, blending intricate storytelling, rich character development, and dynamic gameplay. The Critical Role team masterfully navigates the complexities of the Sindar ruins, demonstrating their prowess as collaborative storytellers and beloved voice actors. Fans of Suikoden and tabletop RPG enthusiasts alike will find this episode both nostalgic and refreshingly original.
Recommendation:
For those unfamiliar with this episode, listening to "Suikoden One-Shot" is highly recommended to experience the blend of Critical Role's signature narrative depth and the intricate lore of Suikoden-inspired adventures.