TOTAL PARTY KILL | Critical Role Chicago Live 2025

Summary

Critical Role Chicago Live 2025: TOTAL PARTY KILL – Episode Summary

Release Date: May 15, 2025
Episode Title: TOTAL PARTY KILL | Critical Role Chicago Live 2025

---

1. Event Kickoff and Character Selection [03:21 - 09:00]

The Chicago Live event commenced with Matthew Mercer welcoming the excited audience and introducing the unique format of the evening—a blend of tabletop roleplaying and interactive game show elements. The participants, consisting of beloved voice actors from Critical Role, were tasked with portraying characters chosen by the audience through live voting.

• Matthew Mercer highlighted the interactive nature:
  "[05:05] 'You who are here tonight have helped guide how this story will unveil to a degree by deciding which characters our players will be stepping into.'”

The audience voted narrowly for characters such as Beauregard Lionett over Keyleth and Grog Strongjaw over Chetney Poole, setting the stage for an evening filled with personalized adventures.

• Ashley Johnson enthusiastically responded:
  "[05:13] 'Come on, come on, come on.'”

Players like Travis Willingham, Taliesin Jaffe, Liam O'Brien, Sam Riegel, and Laura Bailey joined the stage, embodying their chosen characters and expressing excitement for the upcoming challenges.

---

2. Pre-Game Announcements and Setting the Stage [09:00 - 11:30]

Before diving into the main event, Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray made crucial announcements to ensure the live audience and viewers at home enjoyed a spoiler-free experience. Taliesin Jaffe emphasized the importance of preserving the magic of the live performance:

• Taliesin Jaffe:
  "[10:14] 'Don't be a dick. Don't post spoilers. You know this.'”

Adhering to community guidelines, the cast encouraged fans to refrain from sharing real-time spoilers, maintaining the integrity and surprise of the live adventure.

---

3. The Adventure Begins: Engaging Challenges and Games [11:30 - 1350s]

The heart of the event featured a series of interactive games designed to test the participants' skills, teamwork, and improvisational abilities.

a. Pop Burst: A Test of Strength and Strategy [11:30 - 57:00]

The first game, "Pop Burst," pitted the teams against each other in a strength-based competition involving popping balloons. Matthew Mercer orchestrated the game, explaining the rules and overseeing the chaos that ensued.

• Ashley Johnson humorously navigated the challenges:
  "[11:13] 'Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's one shot of Critical Role.'”

Unexpected moments, such as Grog Strongjaw disappearing with a comedic twist ([21:58] *"'What's going on?'"), added to the evening's unpredictable nature. The game concluded with the blue team emerging victorious, resulting in humorous punishments delivered by the MC, Marisha Ray.

• Marisha Ray playfully interacted with the losing team:
  "[58:23] 'Blue team takes 21 points of necrotic damage.'”

b. Traveler's Blessing: Dexterity and Accuracy Under Pressure [57:00 - 1050s]

Next up was "Traveler's Blessing," a dexterity-based challenge where participants attempted to toss rings onto a traveler's statue. The game required precision and coordination, testing the cast's ability to perform under pressure.

• Liam O'Brien showcased his competitive spirit:
  "[62:38] 'Help us count them out. If they get it, you can find your way out of this place.'”

Despite mixed performances, the activity fostered camaraderie and laughter, with participants like Ashley Johnson and Laura Bailey engaging in light-hearted banter and playful sabotage.

c. Tough Shot: A Constitution Challenge [1050s - 1360s]

"Tough Shot" involved participants taking shots of mysterious liquids while maintaining composure—literally and figuratively. The game was a test of endurance and restraint, pushing the cast to their limits in comedic fashion.

• Ashley Johnson's resilience was on display:
  "[116:02] 'I have a ring of fire resistance arm.'”

The challenges escalated, leading to increased roleplaying intensity as the MC introduced darker elements, heightening the stakes and setting the stage for an inevitable confrontation.

---

4. Escalation and the Total Party Kill Cliffhanger [1350s - 1365s]

As the event progressed, the atmosphere shifted from playful competition to dramatic intensity. Matthew Mercer narrated the unfolding chaos, leading to a climactic moment where the MC, Marisha Ray, unleashed a devastating attack resulting in a Total Party Kill (TPK).

• Matthew Mercer described the harrowing scene:
  "[135:36] 'You take 21 points of necrotic damage.'”

The sudden surge of dark magic, combined with the players' improvisational responses, culminated in the disbandment of the stage setup, signaling a dramatic pause in the adventure.

• Marisha Ray reacted in character:
  "[135:36] 'Wait, wait. Stop, please.'”

---

5. Conclusion and Tease for Part Two [1365s End]

The episode concluded with the cast being transported backstage, marking the end of Part One of the Chicago Live event. Matthew Mercer teased the continuation of the story, promising to resume the adventure after intermission, leaving the audience eagerly anticipating the next installment.

• Liam O'Brien closed Part One with anticipation:
  "[136:36] 'We'll be back in this adventure before you know it.'”

---

Notable Quotes and Moments:

• Taliesin Jaffe on spoilers:
  "[10:14] 'Don't be a dick. Don't post spoilers.'”

• Ashley's humorous plea during Dexterity game:
  "[113:04] 'I am fire right now.'”

• Marisha Ray's playful threats:
  "[73:05] 'I'll be fine. Have a seat.'”
  "[118:44] 'I cast you.'”

• Taliesin Jaffe on game mechanics humor:
  "[16:56] 'I'm real excited.'”

---

Final Thoughts

"TOTAL PARTY KILL | Critical Role Chicago Live 2025" offered fans an exhilarating blend of improvisational roleplaying, live interaction, and comedic challenges. The episode showcased the cast's versatility and camaraderie, culminating in a cliffhanger that promises more thrilling adventures in Part Two. The seamless integration of humor, strategy, and unexpected twists made this live event a memorable experience for both attendees and listeners alike.

---

For those who missed the live excitement, stay tuned for Part Two, set to release on the following Tuesday, where the cast will navigate the aftermath of the TPK and continue their epic adventure.

Transcript

[Ashley Johnson]

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[Ashley Johnson]

Hey there Critters. This is Ashley Johnson and Telus and Jeffe and we're popping in here to talk about our new podcast on Beacon, Weird Kids.

[Liam O'Brien]

In this series, we're diving into our lives as former child actors, from unraveling our eccentric upbringings to embracing all the delightfully odd interests we still have.

[Ashley Johnson]

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[Ashley Johnson]

You can also find fellow weirdos by following the series on our heirdkids pod, Instagram and using the hashtag weirdkids.

[Liam O'Brien]

So to all the misfits, outcasts and weirdos out there, come take a seat at our table and celebrate all things unconventional, nostalgic and wonderfully weird. Welcome to Weird Kids.

[Ashley Johnson]

New episodes release every Tuesday.

[Liam O'Brien]

Hey there, it's Liam o' Brien. And welcome to the Critical Role Podcast network. We're stoked you're here and thanks for making our stories part of your day. You're listening to part one of this episode right now and part two will arrive this upcoming Tuesday. If you'd rather listen to the full episode right now and without any ads, consider becoming a Beacon member. You'll receive access to exclusive content discounts at all our online Critical Role shops, exclusive pre sales for live events and much more. Start your seven day free trial today at Beacon tv. Well, that should cover it. Now let's dive into the adventure.

[Marisha Ray]

Critters. Are you ready? Please welcome to the stage, Matthew Marshall.

[Matthew Mercer]

Hello. My goodness, look at this crowd tonight. Oh, wow. Welcome, friends one and all to what is likely going to be a very unique evening. But it is my pleasure to be here. I am your GM for this chaos of the night, Matthew Mercer. But you who are here tonight have helped guide how this story will unveil to a degree by deciding which characters our players this evening will be stepping into. Beginning with the first player reveal of tonight, you voted to see if either Keyleth or Beauregard would be inhabited for tonight's adventure and you decided upon by a very narrow margin, Beauregard. Marisha Ray, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come on, come on, come on.

[Matthew Mercer]

Thank you for joining us, Marisa.

[Ashley Johnson]

Thank you.

[Matthew Mercer]

The second choice that you all made collectively this evening involves what the next player's character will be. The choice between Grog Strongjaw or Chetney Po. Your votes tonight decided upon Grudge Strongjaw. Let's bring to the stage Travis Willingham, ladies and gentlemen.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes.

[Sam Riegel]

Holy.

[Matthew Mercer]

We're already at some energy tonight. I love this. Up next, friends, the third player of the night had the choice that you guided between two characters. We had Kingsley versus Ashton and you decided with your votes it would be Kingsley. Taliesin Jaffe. Welcome. Bloody hell.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yes.

[Marisha Ray]

This is going to be bloody for you.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm.

[Matthew Mercer]

Welcome to the table, buddy. The fourth choice you helped us guide this night was between this next player's two characters, Caleb Widowgast and Orym of the Arashari. Two very different characters. And you decided tonight game would have Caleb Widowgast. Liam o' Brien, please come to the stage.

[Marisha Ray]

Look at all you beautiful bastards.

[Liam O'Brien]

Let's go.

[Matthew Mercer]

Next up you had a choice between two also very different characters through Fred Bernardo or Breus Doomseed. Both horny in different ways and your sort of horniness to be chosen tonight was Veth Bernardo. Sam Riegel, please come to the stage, buddy.

[Marisha Ray]

Hey.

[Matthew Mercer]

I regret everything narrowed down to our last two players. You had a choice for this next player's two characters between Pike Trickfoot and Fern Calloway. And your votes have decided upon Fern Calloway. Ashley Johnson, please join us on the stage.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hello, my darling.

[Matthew Mercer]

And for our final player to join us, you had a terrible choice to make between Vex' Ahlia and Jester. And through your votes, by a landslide, you decided upon Jester Lovell. Laura Bailey, please join. Welcome, players.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hi.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Hello.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hey, Tails.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, man, this is going to be fun, fun, fun.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my gosh.

[Marisha Ray]

I was under the impression that we were all dressing as our favorite Chicago characters.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, is that not the case?

[Marisha Ray]

I feel like I'm.

[Matthew Mercer]

Well, Chicago voted for him, so I think it is technically.

[Marisha Ray]

Hey, bratwurst.

[Matthew Mercer]

Okay, thank you all so much for joining us. We're super excited to have you. But before we jump into tonight's game, we have some quick announcements to get through. Marisha, I believe you've got a quick note to give as well.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I do. I have a very quick one. You know, you guys, you're special. You're here with us. You're live in person, in the flesh. But there are so many amazing fans who aren't gonna see this for some time. So don't be a dick. Don't post spoilers. You know, you're about to have a magical evening and we want the people at home to be able to experience that same joy in real time. So try not to tweet anything that you might think is a spoiler. If you're like, is this a spoiler? It's probably a spoiler. So that is my one request. Thank you so much. You're all beautiful.

[Matthew Mercer]

I do believe. That concludes our announcement.

[Ashley Johnson]

Chicago, are you ready? Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh boy.

[Matthew Mercer]

Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's one shot of Critical Role.

[Sam Riegel]

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[Marisha Ray]

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[Matthew Mercer]

It's only been months since the historical event known as the Ctathiosis transpired the very pantheon of Exandria vanishing from the realm to be reborn in mortal form to escape the hunger of Predathos, the God Eater. In the aftermath of this chaos, many facets of society and their reaction to to adjust as seen in both robust and mysterious ways. Refugees from the red moon Ruidus seek to explore their new home and integrate with the societies that will have them, while those that remain amongst their crimson wind sheared homeland work to rebuild Rhuidian society either as an opportunity for a better future or to reclaim the proud tyranny of the Weave mind. On Exandria, the many temples of Vasselheim developed protocols to seek out the reborn deities desperate to establish counsel and guidance within the divine before darker minds and interests can snuff out the light of the Primes. As they discover their lives and purpose, the legendary protectors of the realm Vox Machina wrestle with the responsibility of their titles. In a world now thrown into into a new age of growing change and chaos, the subversive guardians known as the Mighty Nein work to quell dangerous opportunism. In a time where ancient dangers grow unsealed alongside new powers seeking to seize the vacuum, a complicated chosen called Bell's Hells flee from the most zealous factions of Vasselheim and deep worship labeled by some as heretics and criminals of the doctrines of the faithful. And it's in these times where ancient magic and arcane seals of old remain broken in the wake of the Malleus Solstice. Sometimes overwhelming power finds those whom even fate might deem dangerously unworthy. And with that we come to Whitestone.

[Ashley Johnson]

Laura Bailey Long of a pause.

[Matthew Mercer]

Here in the later evening of the beautiful valley that surrounds the city of Whitestone. The shaded shapes of the alabaster sierras visible from beyond the windows. Here in the war room of Castle Whitestone, the heroes Vox Machina gather amongst allies circling this central table. Amongst them Sean Gilmore, Lady Elora Vysoren, Lady Kima of Vord, and Cassandra de Rolo as they discuss how best to deal with this new age and the adaptation of those who live near and far. As Cassandra slams her hand on the table. Friends, best we can hear in these spaces, most of Tal' Dorei is still rife with misinformation and misunderstanding. There is a challenge of how best to make people feel comfortable, to not let panic ensue. And I'm going to be honest, outside of us here within this city, most people look up to you. The protectors of the realm we ask you and Lady Allura. Of course everyone asks me. We think we might have a plan for locally in Whitestone. But what do you think is best across tal' Dorei?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think it's gonna take some time for people to get used to this new normal.

[Liam O'Brien]

Whatever this new normal is at this point where this power now lies. I mean, is it worth just admitting that? Time will tell.

[Marisha Ray]

I take the feedbag off of my mouth.

[Liam O'Brien]

Ah, these oats are so good.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, for those who weren't there, Scanlan turned into a centaur because he's an asshole.

[Marisha Ray]

I can help by penning some new.

[Liam O'Brien]

Epic songs and legends that could explain.

[Marisha Ray]

To everybody that there's nothing to fear.

[Liam O'Brien]

With the God's absence, that they're still.

[Marisha Ray]

Still here, in spirit and in intention, if not physically present, beyond the veil. And, you know, I think that should.

[Liam O'Brien]

Allay some worry, babe.

[Ashley Johnson]

You don't have to, Winnie.

[Marisha Ray]

I know I don't have to, Winnie. I also don't need a feed bag. I have hands. But it's just part of my, you know, aesthetic now. It's my aura.

[Ashley Johnson]

You know, horses have a long snout. That's why they use a feed bag. It makes it easier to do.

[Liam O'Brien]

I was just hoping it was a Gax everywhere.

[Marisha Ray]

Clearly it doesn't work.

[Liam O'Brien]

Vax stands out of the spotlight off to the side.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, shit.

[Liam O'Brien]

Watching his family and is immensely happy seeing that nothing has changed.

[Ashley Johnson]

Honestly, though, Scanlan, I think you're onto something. Inspiration is what people need.

[Liam O'Brien]

Hope.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hope. Exactly.

[Matthew Mercer]

Sean Gilmore kind of leans forward. I couldn't agree with you more. Honestly, with the help of a few quite accomplished mages, we could hop you on a rapid tour through tal' Dorei. You just have to turn these songs around quickly. You are a accomplished bard, aren't you?

[Marisha Ray]

I could get to work on it.

[Liam O'Brien]

Soon, but I'm gonna need help.

[Marisha Ray]

What rhymes with Changebringer?

[Liam O'Brien]

Humdinger.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, okay.

[Marisha Ray]

That's a start.

[Matthew Mercer]

How about you, Grog? Do you have anything to add to the possibilities of how best we should. Mr. What was your title again?

[Laura Bailey]

De Gran Poobar De Doink. Of All Disen. Dads. Yeah, that's right. Put some fucking respect on it. I also think what we do going forward is very important. I have to take a shit.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's a. That. That exact moment, a strange buzzing sensation fills the air and this crackling sound begins to spark like some strange arcane resonance.

[Liam O'Brien]

Grog, is.

[Marisha Ray]

Is that a fart? What is that?

[Laura Bailey]

I'm not sure. You're never supposed to Trust him though.

[Matthew Mercer]

At which point there is an impact. And Grog is gone.

[Marisha Ray]

Buddy.

[Ashley Johnson]

Is that.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh no.

[Marisha Ray]

He really had. He really had to go.

[Ashley Johnson]

Where'd he go?

[Marisha Ray]

Where'd he go?

[Ashley Johnson]

Where'd he go?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Where is the Deck of Many Things? Is this a gate? Not again.

[Matthew Mercer]

And we pull away from Whitestone. What the fuck are you doing?

[Marisha Ray]

What's happening?

[Matthew Mercer]

As we now come into some distant Xemnian subterranean tunnels deep beneath the city of Rexxentrum. An underground cavern network where powerful families of old would flee attack or persecution. But has recently been rumored to be used by the Cult of the Cloaked Serpent even in their absence. And infiltrating guilds across the city and the empire itself. And it's here we see the mighty Nein quietly and carefully delving into these dark dank tunnels.

[Ashley Johnson]

What are we doing here again?

[Marisha Ray]

I don't honestly remember.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, we went over this. We are in search of these like cult members. It's just follow along.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

We cover this at length. Keep your voices down.

[Ashley Johnson]

I am. I. It is down. Caleb.

[Matthew Mercer]

How I think survived.

[Liam O'Brien]

Like people around us beyond me.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, that's right.

[Matthew Mercer]

I didn't.

[Liam O'Brien]

Well done.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, I'm so glad you're here, King.

[Liam O'Brien]

Ah, thank you for calling by the way.

[Marisha Ray]

This is ridiculously fun.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's about this time you hear this distant slithering sound like some sort of heavy darkened scales scraping across stone. And the faint blue glow begins to emanate from around the carved stone edges. As you watch a massive spectral Naga type serpent creature shriek its way around the corner. Its hood extending and its odd deeply set humanoid eyes. And its semi ethereal form glancing back at the its massive fangs bared.

[Marisha Ray]

You stride where you should not. New food.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh cool. It talks. They made snakes worse.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna take out my scald saber.

[Marisha Ray]

Gimme.

[Matthew Mercer]

It rears back, strikes out at you. Yasha. That. And it misses with a natural five. You catch it there, your blade in the middle of its jaws. And keep the daggers at bay as it pushes into you. Its strength is more than you expected. It pushes you against the stone. And you feel the full weight of it pushing against your body. And its odd ghostly breath. This mix of rot and acrid air. What are the rest of you doing?

[Liam O'Brien]

Running right at it to take a slash?

[Matthew Mercer]

As you all dart inward, this strange crackling sensation begins to fill the air to the point where the serpent itself seems to draw away. Confused.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Caleb. Is this you?

[Liam O'Brien]

I cast? Comprehend languages?

[Matthew Mercer]

It's about that moment that Caleb vanishes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Where'd he go?

[Marisha Ray]

Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

He's fine. He's fine. He probably dropped me off.

[Matthew Mercer]

Caleb.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. He fell.

[Matthew Mercer]

Bo is gone.

[Ashley Johnson]

What's going on?

[Marisha Ray]

I don't know.

[Matthew Mercer]

J's gone.

[Marisha Ray]

Whoa.

[Laura Bailey]

That's my lady.

[Matthew Mercer]

Kingsley's gone.

[Marisha Ray]

No. Ford. Use your strength to keep me here. You son of a.

[Matthew Mercer]

Son is like.

[Marisha Ray]

Well, this is fortuitous. Less meals, but here. Easier pickings.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait.

[Marisha Ray]

This was only the.

[Ashley Johnson]

The two of us here. I. I think I'm still here.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm still here.

[Ashley Johnson]

Thank God for.

[Laura Bailey]

It'S just swords. Yours and mine.

[Ashley Johnson]

We got this.

[Matthew Mercer]

It charges towards you as we pull out of the darkened shadows from underneath Rex and Fun.

[Marisha Ray]

They'll be fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

You're gonna survive. They'll survive that.

[Matthew Mercer]

And we focus now instead on snow powder Dappled dense forest somewhere in the Vasper timberlands of Issylra. Beyond the burning lights and braziers and torches of Vasselheim Bells Hells flees pursuit from a crew of unhappy faithful. A troop of bounty hunters with two judicators at the set have been following you for days as your staff of traversal hasn't been able to regain enough charges to free you. And we find Bell's Hells breathless and for the moment not hearing their pursuers amongst the night cold air.

[Marisha Ray]

It's out of charges. I can't get into a charge up any faster.

[Liam O'Brien]

DM with a roll of a natural 20 for a 33. Do I sense any threats in the woods around us?

[Matthew Mercer]

As the rest of you kind of take a moment to listen and exhale. Silent darkness. Orym you pick up this distant crunching sound of the underbrush of the forest and fresh snowfall powder. Just ever so quietly.

[Ashley Johnson]

I think we're safe here.

[Liam O'Brien]

Hey guys.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's colder than a witch's tit out here. Can we please just figure out a way to. It really is. Yeah.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I kind of like it.

[Liam O'Brien]

They got wildlife or a problem?

[Ashley Johnson]

What?

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah, something out there.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh no. They're back.

[Matthew Mercer]

There is a blast of bright golden light that emits from the ground, surrounding you all as a divine glyph.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh no.

[Matthew Mercer]

Forms in the snow and blasts up where I need you all to make wisdom saving throws.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no, wait.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I don't have laud. And I'm pulled up. I don't think it's going to do. It's not good anyway.

[Matthew Mercer]

Roll the dice.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I. I rolled a three.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm sure that's not good.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I rolled a two. So witches be ditzes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, is this a. Is this a spell Or a magical effect.

[Matthew Mercer]

It is a magical effect. So you would have advantage.

[Marisha Ray]

Dirty 20. Oh, a little better.

[Liam O'Brien]

Ooh. 22.

[Matthew Mercer]

22.

[Ashley Johnson]

Dirty 20.

[Matthew Mercer]

Great. All right. This table. Fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

We're good. We're good.

[Matthew Mercer]

It blasts and you knock away the impact as it tries to to bind itself to your physical body and hold you in place.

[Marisha Ray]

19 for the sexy Minotaur.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right, Sexy minotaur. You also shrug it off. You know this game.

[Marisha Ray]

Moo.

[Liam O'Brien]

Dirty tent.

[Matthew Mercer]

Dirty tent. Ashton Laudna, Imogen. You seize up and feel your body now battle against you and hold you in place. You hear the cracking of a nearby tree as it splinters. And what looks like a whole upper section of a fur just come crashing through, sending snow and nettles everywhere. And there you can see, just across the bit of moonlight that's reflecting off the snow, the mask of Adjudicator as it slams its fists together. At that point, a crackle in the air begins and Fearne is gone.

[Marisha Ray]

Shit. It's that devil come to collect.

[Matthew Mercer]

As we pull away from Isilra, I would like you all to leave the stage now. Friends, all of you, wherever it is in Exandria that you may have found yourself, this odd gossamer silver curtain seems to surround you.

[Marisha Ray]

You.

[Matthew Mercer]

And you feel pulled from your lives, your worries, your thoughts, and instead find yourselves sitting welcomingly so in a soft, warm, beautifully lit theater. You all sit there in your chairs with an expectation of. Of entertainment. That anticipation itself brimming up from beneath your stomach, that adrenaline beginning to spike. The promise of something extraordinary, something violent, something unique and entertaining has brought you here tonight to this strange, unknown dimension beyond the realm. And it is here, friends, you discover yourselves waiting for a proper night of entertainment.

[Marisha Ray]

Sam. Good evening, everyone. I'm sure you're all wondering what's going on. Well, allow me to explain. My name is Malvolio Contreras. But you can just call me the MC it's just a game A little sterilia A touch of luck Some time to kill so come along, don't be afraid let's sing a song let's misbehave the rules are mine and so's their fate now you call the shots they took the baits they're out of their depth oh, what a shame so let's have a laugh and feed the flame no resurrections or clever plays it seems their plot armor seen better days.

[Ashley Johnson]

Please.

[Marisha Ray]

Get out of here. Your faves. Allow me to introduce my sidekick, Murder Matt. Who gives a.

[Matthew Mercer]

What's a story without some pain?

[Marisha Ray]

I'm Your host, he's insane. I love the sound of a hero screaming.

[Matthew Mercer]

Wakey, wakey, you're not dreaming.

[Marisha Ray]

Get over here. So roll the dice. Hey. And watch them shatter. Live, laugh or die.

[Matthew Mercer]

It doesn't matter.

[Marisha Ray]

Fuck your face. Don't you want to watch them burrow?

[Matthew Mercer]

You know it, bosses.

[Marisha Ray]

Your face. Stop the show. Hello, everyone. Oh, what TPK you want to hear it? You want to say it? Oh, you've just walked right into my beautiful evening. See, this is my own little pocket dimension. And nothing gives me more power than audience applause. So let me hear it again. T, P, K. T, P K. Oh, that feels so nice. I think this is gonna go just fine.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, I think so, too, boss.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm real excited.

[Marisha Ray]

You see, me and my sidekick here, Merty, have been together for years. Oh, you look better than ever.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, speak for yourself. I'm just following in your lead, boss.

[Marisha Ray]

I love to see it. And we've got a special evening planned for you. You see, my favorite thing to do is put people through their trials and watch their tribulations. See, you love to lift up your heroes, and I love to drag them down. Nothing's better than seeing your faves. And by the way, that name of the song was fuck your faves as in favorites, not face. I know you somehow of. You heard that. I know it. I know the minds of this audience. So we're going to mix things up tonight because I know there's nothing a fandom loves more than sudden change. The top half of this show is going to be something a little different. And trust me, it's going to be fun. Don't worry. And you're all a part of it. I promise. So, Murdy, what do we have planned for them tonight?

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, we're gonna bring out your chosen heroes that we yanked from the realm. We're gonna put them through a series of challenges, see what their capabilities are, set them against each other. And whoever loses, well, they get hurt. If they lose really badly, they get really hurt.

[Marisha Ray]

Ooh, I love it when he gets excited. When he gets excited, I get excited. Not like that. We have a few toadies backstage.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right?

[Marisha Ray]

It's going to be a night like that. We've got toadies backstage helping us out with this evening, so I'd like to check. Are any of our contestants back from their magic teleportation just yet?

[Matthew Mercer]

You know, I think I sense an arrival right about now. Let's go ahead and. Yeah, let's bring in some Beauregard Lionette.

[Marisha Ray]

How about that? Yes, yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

What the is this?

[Marisha Ray]

You look fantastic. Oh, would you mind having. I know.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, it's got branding. Oh, gross.

[Marisha Ray]

Corporate shills are one of my favorite things.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Who the fuck are you?

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, I'm your host. Don't worry about the details. You can just call me mc.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I hate this.

[Marisha Ray]

Good. Feel free to take a seat. Murdy. Who else have we got on the dock here?

[Matthew Mercer]

We're pulling a. A very esteemed, very well known figure from exandrian history. Big tall fella, big bushy beard and an unstoppable intellect. Let's see if we can't get ourselves a Mr. Grog. Strong jaw is arriving. Right.

[Laura Bailey]

Man, I gotta go boom boom more often.

[Marisha Ray]

Hey, I know you.

[Ashley Johnson]

I know you.

[Marisha Ray]

I know you.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

What did you do?

[Laura Bailey]

I took a.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh.

[Matthew Mercer]

Take a seat right over there, Mr. Strong. Stone Jaw.

[Laura Bailey]

Strong Jaw.

[Matthew Mercer]

There it is. Okay, got it. Whatever.

[Marisha Ray]

Who's up next?

[Matthew Mercer]

Up next, we got plucked out of the space in the ether. A complicated figure. One who's seen quite a few cycles of life on the realm. And the most recent one kind of took over the pirate space. So we got a Kingsley in the pipeline coming to the stage here.

[Marisha Ray]

What? Oh, look at you.

[Liam O'Brien]

You must be the rulers of the tacky dimension.

[Marisha Ray]

Well bloody done. What is this?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I hate it.

[Marisha Ray]

I hate.

[Matthew Mercer]

Hey, don't make fun of that. My mind made that clearly.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

At least we're together.

[Matthew Mercer]

I like it.

[Laura Bailey]

You're purple. He's purple.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So are you, dummy.

[Liam O'Brien]

You know that? Who's happy?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Explain later.

[Marisha Ray]

Bloody hell, Marty.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, this is getting more and more ridiculous as it goes.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm so excited.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right. Looks like the next hero, the compediary total party kill is a gentleman known for his. Well, for his stinkiness. Let's be honest, his bodily upkeep stink. Historically known to be a little under par. If we could bring out Caleb Widow, guys, right about now. Boom.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, of course. You are here too, eh?

[Marisha Ray]

Hi.

[Liam O'Brien]

What is going on? What is this?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think some sort of sick. Yeah, a game it looks like for their expense. I don't know.

[Liam O'Brien]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes, yes, it's around 6,000. Have a seat, please.

[Matthew Mercer]

Ain't that cute? He's doing crowd work.

[Marisha Ray]

I know. It looks like he has cats.

[Matthew Mercer]

Sit down.

[Liam O'Brien]

Sit.

[Matthew Mercer]

Sorry, boss. Is your show.

[Marisha Ray]

No, you're doing just fine. I'll just chit chat with them and bring out the next one.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right. Well, kind of in the theme of this one. He had a companion with their own unique journey. A mother, a fighter, a lover and a camp Counselor. Apparently, if we can go ahead and have Beth Branado arrive at our stage.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I know, I know. Yeah, I know, I know.

[Marisha Ray]

We know.

[Matthew Mercer]

Seats. Your seats. Over here.

[Marisha Ray]

Come on, sit down. It's all right. It's all right.

[Matthew Mercer]

You're going to be fine. Maybe.

[Laura Bailey]

Sounds like a velociraptor.

[Matthew Mercer]

Welcome.

[Liam O'Brien]

I want a hat.

[Marisha Ray]

Well, what do you think?

[Ashley Johnson]

Ah.

[Marisha Ray]

All right. We don't have time for this bit for. It isn't Ford. Is it here? Yes. I'm good. That's the spirit.

[Matthew Mercer]

I love this. We're getting close.

[Marisha Ray]

Almost there.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right. Our second to last arrival for the competition of the night is one who walks between many contracts, A woman who gets around in the most political of ways, I'd say. Fern Calloway, please.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hello? Hello.

[Marisha Ray]

Hi.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hi. Oh, I know you. I know you. I know you three.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Hi.

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't know you two. Wait, what?

[Marisha Ray]

What?

[Ashley Johnson]

What is this?

[Marisha Ray]

Hi.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, hi. What is this? This is hideous.

[Laura Bailey]

This is called purple.

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, I know the color. It's just really not flattering. Oh, this is ugly.

[Liam O'Brien]

I don't know.

[Marisha Ray]

It's.

[Ashley Johnson]

What's it. Oh, my God. Oh, thank you very much. What? What? What's happening? I don't. I have to go back to my friends. They're gonna die if I don't stay with them. Can you send me back? I'm gonna go back.

[Marisha Ray]

Well, no, not right now. Would you mind? And then suddenly, she's glued to her chair.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, what the fuck?

[Marisha Ray]

Welcome to the show.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh.

[Marisha Ray]

How are you gonna pee?

[Ashley Johnson]

I guess I just gotta do it in my seat.

[Marisha Ray]

If you make me a pee. Pinky promised that you'll stay for the first few rounds. I'll unglue your tush.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

First few rounds of what?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes. Thank you. To the hot one. First few rounds of what?

[Marisha Ray]

It's not the Q and A portion anymore. That was two hours ago.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right, thank you. Swear.

[Marisha Ray]

You're free.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, thank God. My ass is free. All right.

[Liam O'Brien]

I like that.

[Matthew Mercer]

On that note, our final contestant for the night in your games, Master, is a. Oh, I think it's gonna be a real wildcard night with this one. A follower of a strange idol beyond the realms of the divine. A touch of Fae magic sits around her. A bit of water escape and a whole lot of chaos. Let's go ahead and bring Jessa Lavore to the stage, please.

[Marisha Ray]

What the. Hi.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my gosh. What is happening here? Hi. Oh, my God. I remember you. Oh, my God. I love you so much. You're coming to the wedding, right? Yes. I'm coming to the wedding. Thank you so much for the invite. What's happening?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

They're probably dead.

[Ashley Johnson]

Is this Octi?

[Marisha Ray]

Hi.

[Ashley Johnson]

What is happening?

[Marisha Ray]

Ms. Jester, look over there at your seat and poof, There's a pile of donuts and cookies right in front.

[Ashley Johnson]

This is the best. Hi. Who are you?

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, my name's in the mc. It's so nice to meet you, too.

[Ashley Johnson]

In the middle of a fight, you know, you left my fiance there. I don't know, Maybe. Maybe should bring Jester.

[Marisha Ray]

He's holding us, not indulge the crazy.

[Matthew Mercer]

Pleasure to meet you. I've heard so much.

[Ashley Johnson]

Seriously, you should bring him here because he would be super.

[Matthew Mercer]

Maybe later. We got it. We got a thing. We got.

[Marisha Ray]

These are the bad guys.

[Ashley Johnson]

What do you think? Bring her fiance because it looks like we're short on this side. Come over here. This is the Mighty Nine side.

[Marisha Ray]

Come over here.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Over there.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are you doing. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm staying in my chair.

[Marisha Ray]

That's a good point. Hello, audience. What do you think? We're all assembled. We feel good. Yes?

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, no, no. Chester, don't indulge them.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, yes, indulge them. Indulge them. They're very attractive, you know.

[Ashley Johnson]

My mama.

[Laura Bailey]

Look at all the head.

[Ashley Johnson]

I've always wanted to be up here.

[Liam O'Brien]

A question, please. Eine Fraga. Who are all of these people?

[Marisha Ray]

These people?

[Matthew Mercer]

Wonderful Exandrians and all kinds of folks who have been affected by history far and wide in events of recent times. And everyone's a little on edge. And people that are on edge need relief.

[Marisha Ray]

Souls from all around the world realm. What about you? What region of Exandria are you from? The Shattered Teeth. Yes. What. What city do you hail from? Here in Exandria. Or the Outer Counties. Ah, the mystical realm of Illinois.

[Laura Bailey]

I never heard of that one.

[Marisha Ray]

That's cold. And tonight we have a challenge.

[Ashley Johnson]

Some of them dressed up as us, though. That's weird. Hi.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, maybe they're. They're like fans of. Of yours. Maybe you.

[Ashley Johnson]

One of them is dressed up as my friend Opal.

[Marisha Ray]

Hi.

[Liam O'Brien]

All of you. Rise up. Rise up together. Raise. Rise up and help us escape from this place.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Agreed. Do not be part of the problem.

[Marisha Ray]

Or. Oh, yes.

[Matthew Mercer]

Are they all here to watch you suffer?

[Ashley Johnson]

Excited?

[Marisha Ray]

The energy in Illinois is palpable. Don't worry.

[Liam O'Brien]

Our enemies. Enemies all.

[Marisha Ray]

Wait. We have to defeat all of them.

[Ashley Johnson]

We could do it.

[Marisha Ray]

I could take the 20 up here.

[Liam O'Brien]

I didn't ask how big the arena is. I said I cast fireball.

[Matthew Mercer]

As you cast fireball. The bead of arcane flame ejects from your fingers and curls into a strange circular motion before you. Before it evaporates ineffectually and dispelled.

[Ashley Johnson]

Then I gotta do anything. It happens to four.

[Liam O'Brien]

That normally never happens.

[Matthew Mercer]

About that time you notice in the pattern that your flames are extinguished. You see the MC's finger swirl and snuff it.

[Marisha Ray]

They all say that. No, no. Feel free to do whatever you like. It's only more entertainment for our friends. But if you'd indulge me, I'd love to play a few games with you. And maybe if you do well, you can find your way out of this place. Maybe.

[Matthew Mercer]

Maybe.

[Marisha Ray]

Maybe.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

Too quickly. If this is what it looks like, there's got to be a prize.

[Marisha Ray]

There's got to be some.

[Liam O'Brien]

Something make it worth our while.

[Marisha Ray]

Very good point. Thank you. Think of something you value more than anything. Perhaps your life.

[Laura Bailey]

Ao.

[Marisha Ray]

We'll see what we can do later on in the show. Concession stands opened at intermission. All right.

[Liam O'Brien]

I've already got one.

[Marisha Ray]

Are you ready? Mty oh, I am always ready. Buzz. What do you say we play the very first game? I'll give you the title and Murray will lay it out for you. Our first game is burst your bubble.

[Matthew Mercer]

A fine test of strength around the realm to see just how mighty some.

[Marisha Ray]

Of you cats are.

[Matthew Mercer]

We have on this side the red.

[Marisha Ray]

Team, this side the blue team.

[Matthew Mercer]

And you are against each other for the remainder of this game.

[Ashley Johnson]

He's so huge.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Also, why are there only three of them? Like I can tell you for a fact, this is out balanced.

[Laura Bailey]

I don't know about that.

[Ashley Johnson]

Listen, we're gonna be okay. I believe you.

[Matthew Mercer]

We never promised balance. We never promised fairness. We just promised entertainment. So each side choose someone to represent your strongest person. And I'd like you to make a strength check.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think it's just. He's probably just strength check.

[Ashley Johnson]

I mean, I can't wait. We're doing strength check. I think I am just throwing.

[Laura Bailey]

Do I get advantage by rage?

[Marisha Ray]

Want me to do this?

[Matthew Mercer]

No.

[Laura Bailey]

Define.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I have faith.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, God.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Wait, so we're all rolling?

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matthew Mercer]

Just whoever's. Whoever is going to be helming this.

[Liam O'Brien]

Caleb suddenly turns into a giant orange amber colored ape.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are you thinking for me?

[Marisha Ray]

I can do it. I can do this? Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, we don't even know what it is.

[Marisha Ray]

I don't know what it is actually. What are we doing? We're having a great time. What are you doing?

[Liam O'Brien]

You're so strong. I really want to see. See what you can do. I believe in you.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, hello, little.

[Liam O'Brien]

Take the first one for the team. We're counting on you.

[Marisha Ray]

All right. Sure.

[Liam O'Brien]

It's like putting a rabbit cave.

[Laura Bailey]

Did you roll yet?

[Ashley Johnson]

I rolled. Wait, are you the strongest firm? No, I don't think so.

[Laura Bailey]

I took the monkey ears.

[Ashley Johnson]

Thirteen for me.

[Marisha Ray]

Nine. Nine for me.

[Laura Bailey]

Sixteen for me.

[Matthew Mercer]

Wait, are we all rolling?

[Marisha Ray]

What's happening? No.

[Matthew Mercer]

Only one person on each team is supposed to roll.

[Laura Bailey]

Here you go.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, wait.

[Matthew Mercer]

It looks like they picked on their.

[Marisha Ray]

Side a little outside of the rules.

[Matthew Mercer]

That might be a penalty later.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, wait. No, no, no.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's fine. You've chosen the monkey.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

He's bursting bubbles on your side and veth Bernardo, would you roll?

[Marisha Ray]

I did.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I rolled a nine.

[Matthew Mercer]

Perfect.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, nine.

[Matthew Mercer]

We could have our stage strange associates come in and set the scene for our.

[Marisha Ray]

You know what that means. Toadies. Bring out the props. Props.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, sother big props.

[Ashley Johnson]

Why are you a monkey?

[Marisha Ray]

Why is he a monkey?

[Laura Bailey]

He turned into a giant ape.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, he did?

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. Giant ape. Caleb.

[Ashley Johnson]

I couldn't figure Caleb. Wow, look at that rat. This is making me a little nervous.

[Laura Bailey]

I can see his butt crack.

[Ashley Johnson]

Seriously, though, be careful.

[Matthew Mercer]

Now, one person from each team gets to be the holder.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Who's good at holding?

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm very good at holding. I mean, I'm. I could hold.

[Marisha Ray]

Caleb can hold.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right. Now, because you.

[Marisha Ray]

What?

[Ashley Johnson]

What? What's happening?

[Matthew Mercer]

Because the monkey, Caleb rolled so high on the strength. Not the highest possible, but pretty high. You get to use the fully inflated balloons. And because you did not, you have to use the half inflated balloons.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are these half inflated?

[Matthew Mercer]

Both teams have 60 seconds to see who pops three balloons by the two of you just sitting on them with your compatriots readying and holding them in the spot.

[Marisha Ray]

And the sitter may not touch their own balloon. Only the holder can hold the balloon.

[Laura Bailey]

They never like to touch.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay?

[Ashley Johnson]

Don't you worry. Okay, listen to me. You need to put all of your weight on it and squish the out of this balloon, okay? I'm so tired.

[Marisha Ray]

Difficult squeeze. I have a very ass.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, Your bony butt.

[Marisha Ray]

Enough strategy.

[Ashley Johnson]

Gotta sit and wiggle Time for our.

[Marisha Ray]

Very first dignified game worthy of 10 years of lore and storytelling.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right, all right, all right.

[Marisha Ray]

Marty, are you ready with the timer? Always ready, boss. On your mark, with me. Get set. Drop that ass.

[Ashley Johnson]

Kick him up.

[Marisha Ray]

Harder. Come on. Keep going. Yes. We've got one. Three if you can get the other two before time is up. You'll get a bonus. Don't quit. Don't quit. Keep going. Shoot for three. Go. Yes. Will they have time so they can find one of them? Oh, this is better than I ever thought it would be. Great.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Marisha Ray]

This is just bonus. This is just showing off. Now go, go. Yes. Squeeze that on. Get away, get away, get away. Last 10 seconds. Here we go. Yes. Do they have any worlds? Take them.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh my God. Oh my God.

[Marisha Ray]

My God.

[Ashley Johnson]

That was exhausting.

[Marisha Ray]

60 seconds is a lot longer than we thought it was. Would you believe we've never rehearsed this?

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired that we weren't even doing the popping.

[Marisha Ray]

It's improv, ladies and gentlemen. What was the final score? Murty, do you recall?

[Matthew Mercer]

It was a bit chaotic there, boss.

[Marisha Ray]

What, you can't do math?

[Matthew Mercer]

No, but the best I can ascertain, the monkey had the edge.

[Liam O'Brien]

What?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes, the monkey did. The monkey did.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's true.

[Matthew Mercer]

And you're docked for cheating by removing the ch.

[Ashley Johnson]

Chair. Thank you. Thank you to you, sir.

[Marisha Ray]

I don't even get to roll a sleight of hand to see if you saw that.

[Matthew Mercer]

You know what? I'll allow it. The Fable of Air Bud.

[Liam O'Brien]

If it's not in the. If it doesn't say that.

[Marisha Ray]

32.

[Matthew Mercer]

32. Boss, I'm going to be honest. It looks like they somehow got rid of their chair halfway through the performance. And it kind of put them on a bad path. So I'm going to have to give it to red team.

[Marisha Ray]

Mty. Mty. You've always been my favorite rule. Cheating pays off.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes, it does.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, is this the game we're playing?

[Marisha Ray]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

So cheating will get you ahead.

[Marisha Ray]

Uhhuh.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's go.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Mie.

[Marisha Ray]

Tell them what they don't win.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh. Well, friends, the victorious, they get to gloat. While the losers, well, in this realm, they get punished. And you watch.

[Ashley Johnson]

Punishment.

[Matthew Mercer]

You watch as Malvolio's hand begins to draw a massive glowing infernal flame that suddenly engulfs all three of you in horrible scarring hellfire. All three of you. Help it. Scream in resonating pain as the entire blue team takes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Now I feel bad.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no.

[Liam O'Brien]

I don't know.

[Ashley Johnson]

Feel bad.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Just a little.

[Matthew Mercer]

21 points of fire.

[Laura Bailey]

Cheating. You little piece of.

[Marisha Ray]

Wait on. Are we.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are we splitting that between us each. Each.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

How much?

[Laura Bailey]

21.

[Matthew Mercer]

21. What's the game called, Ms. Callaway?

[Ashley Johnson]

For bur and Bur Pop Burst your pop. Pop your bubble. Pop your cherry. Pop the bubbles. I don't. I forgot.

[Marisha Ray]

Team, team, team.

[Matthew Mercer]

Blue team.

[Marisha Ray]

Huddle up. Huddle up, Huddle up. Listen, listen, listen. You're down a players with a bit.

[Ashley Johnson]

Of a disadvantage, and I was very.

[Marisha Ray]

Sad to see you lose the last.

[Ashley Johnson]

Round, but we actually really won. But that's okay.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm going to do a little something. They can't hear us from here. All right. Okay. Now, I've shut down your magical abilities for the most part, but for the next few moments, say, the next few minutes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

I'll allow you to cast a spell or two that could help each other out or hurt the other team. Now, don't hurt me. Oh, please don't hurt me.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Huddle up.

[Laura Bailey]

Question.

[Ashley Johnson]

Huddle up.

[Laura Bailey]

Do you have magic?

[Ashley Johnson]

I do. You don't.

[Laura Bailey]

You're just listening. Nope. Nothing.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hey, can you turn back into a person? Okay. Do you have magic?

[Liam O'Brien]

A little bit, yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Because we can take some shots at them. Are you powerful? Are you strong?

[Laura Bailey]

What can you do?

[Ashley Johnson]

I've only seen, like, a little bit of what you can do.

[Liam O'Brien]

Well, I don't want to kill any of them.

[Laura Bailey]

I think let's not be too hasty. Killing is good.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do we all. Do we all take a turn?

[Marisha Ray]

The last game was a game of strength. And this game will be a game of. Remind me what comes after strength. You've got it right. You're all so smart. Clap for yourselves. Yay.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yay.

[Marisha Ray]

Yay. We call this next game the traveler's blessing.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my God. Wait, are you friends with him? Does that make so much sense?

[Marisha Ray]

And I are just besties.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait a minute. He's never. Wait, what is your name? Mc. I've never heard. Wait a minute.

[Marisha Ray]

I would never fit to you. Jester.

[Ashley Johnson]

Is this the theater that he hates on.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, that's a deep cut in law beyond my paycheck. This game is called the traveler's blessing. Toadies, please bring out the prop.

[Ashley Johnson]

I want to do it. I volunteer as tribute.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Just wait, wait. Gesture.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my heaven.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, I've had this nightmare before.

[Ashley Johnson]

Now, are we supposed to sit on this? I'm unsure.

[Marisha Ray]

The sacred statue of the traveler. Not to be mistaken with anything else I like.

[Liam O'Brien]

If your traveler looks like that, you've got bigger problems than this.

[Marisha Ray]

Fill them in, baby. How's this game work?

[Matthew Mercer]

So team chooses one person to be the channel of the traveler.

[Ashley Johnson]

I am the traveler's channel. Give it to me.

[Matthew Mercer]

While two other members of the team.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh.

[Matthew Mercer]

Get to try and toss Rings atop it. From a distance, two other members.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm seemed like more of an athlete two teams than me.

[Marisha Ray]

My friend of two. Have you ever done.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Dexterity based, right?

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, we got a rule.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm very dexy.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm pretty dexy myself.

[Marisha Ray]

I mean, I'm the queen of decks, but I just went, so you guys go figure it out.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think, you know you're in this too.

[Matthew Mercer]

I just went, oh, okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Well, then it's me and you.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah, I was just going to do it.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Laura Bailey]

Just do it.

[Liam O'Brien]

Fine.

[Marisha Ray]

Person. One person.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, okay. Boulder.

[Marisha Ray]

Whom are shoes?

[Matthew Mercer]

There's two people.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's both of them.

[Matthew Mercer]

Two of you to roll de. All right.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

And you're two chosen over there. Roll your dexterity.

[Laura Bailey]

Yep, that's done. What you got natural 20?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, baby.

[Matthew Mercer]

Mr. Widowgraff.

[Ashley Johnson]

Gorg. Gorg. Gorg. Gorg. Gorg Borg.

[Liam O'Brien]

It's a nine for me.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right, your two folks over here, roll your dexterity checks for 18 and 23.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, shit.

[Matthew Mercer]

I would like the natural 20 and the 23 to rollsies for me, right?

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, what? Let's go. Abs.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

12.

[Laura Bailey]

19.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right.

[Laura Bailey]

And so yeah, these over here.

[Liam O'Brien]

As grog begins to rise from his seat, I. I throw a bit of licorice into my mouth and pat him on the ass and cast haste.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, I think I just got my butt grabbed.

[Marisha Ray]

What do you do?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Have anything that can soup us up.

[Marisha Ray]

To soup you up?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You've got trick here.

[Marisha Ray]

Here's some alcohol.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, that's great. That's great. Thank you.

[Matthew Mercer]

Now, could we please get the places of the various planes?

[Marisha Ray]

Come over here.

[Matthew Mercer]

The travel is chosen.

[Marisha Ray]

The two of you who rolled have a choice to make.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

You can choose between these rings. The large rings are worth one, and these.

[Ashley Johnson]

You look so good.

[Marisha Ray]

Are worth 10.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

10?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. I like crazy that we both have dicks on our head. I know. So cute. Looks so cute with dick. Yeah, I love it. I really like this outfit.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yeah, I'll do the big ones too.

[Ashley Johnson]

It looks awesome.

[Matthew Mercer]

Big ones for real reach.

[Marisha Ray]

Just try to divvy those up.

[Matthew Mercer]

I actually kind of like now, because you rolled higher and because you have your haste on, you get 30 rings to throw on your side. Wow. Whoa. Your side only gets 20, but you can choose any of the small rings if you like to replace.

[Ashley Johnson]

You got the small. You can do it. I cast guidance.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, I get guidance.

[Ashley Johnson]

I do too. I do too. I can't guide him. Touch him. You didn't touch him.

[Marisha Ray]

Hey, a big log over There.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, I know, but I touched him earlier with my finger. It doesn't matter. You didn't say it when you did it. Well, Chester. Okay, no, stay over. I'm gonna stay right here.

[Laura Bailey]

Hey, what's the thing on your helmet, by the way?

[Ashley Johnson]

It's a traveler.

[Laura Bailey]

It's a traveler.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's a dick.

[Ashley Johnson]

If you have a God. Listen, most of them disappointed here.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

He did it.

[Ashley Johnson]

You should talk to Lisa. Worship him. He's the coolest.

[Liam O'Brien]

He's not wrong.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You should be, like, nimble with this, right?

[Ashley Johnson]

Like you're gonna get those circles right on his dick. Okay, what am I trying to do?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I need. I'm gonna get these on your traveler dick.

[Marisha Ray]

Come back this way. It's clearly just a statue.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, yeah, like that.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Like that.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

All right, grand pooba, you can do this. These things. Things are pretty small, so you should have no problem.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, shit.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hold on. I broke my helmet.

[Marisha Ray]

I'll hold it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, I'm gonna hold it.

[Marisha Ray]

It's time for a test of dexterity. This is exactly what you came here for, is it not.

[Ashley Johnson]

My helmet. Ah, screw it.

[Marisha Ray]

You'll take your turns one at a time. Help us count them out. If they get a ringer on that dinger. Let the games begin.

[Laura Bailey]

Ladies first.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, my God. Come on, come on, come on.

[Ashley Johnson]

Grab this bow.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, we're too low.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, I went too low.

[Matthew Mercer]

Come on.

[Marisha Ray]

Just check.

[Matthew Mercer]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

These. Okay. The old in and out.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Too far.

[Ashley Johnson]

Too high.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Too high. I'm going to go lower.

[Ashley Johnson]

I know you're not used to these things. Okay, I'm going to do this. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. I felt really good.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Deflect missiles.

[Ashley Johnson]

No.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Can I do that?

[Matthew Mercer]

You're the one throwing it. It's not really deflect.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

No, don't arc it more. Arc it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Shut up.

[Marisha Ray]

Just arc it.

[Liam O'Brien]

Let's go, Ms. Calloway.

[Marisha Ray]

Arc it.

[Liam O'Brien]

Work that dick.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

No. Yes. Yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, no, no.

[Matthew Mercer]

I cast blood.

[Marisha Ray]

Curse of the Eyeless. On the big one.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right, I need you to take three steps back. Travis.

[Marisha Ray]

No.

[Ashley Johnson]

I cast enhance ability on. Wait. You have to touch him.

[Matthew Mercer]

You have to touch him to do that.

[Ashley Johnson]

I cast. I cast enhanced ability. And I do the one dexterity ability. Do you have that prepare? Yeah, I do. Are you sure? I'm positive.

[Matthew Mercer]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

I already.

[Matthew Mercer]

Interesting. Interesting. Point of order. Haste lasts how long a minute? Haste has now faded, so you are stunned. So you drop two rings.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's all right. That's all right. That's all right.

[Matthew Mercer]

But now you get to step back up to where you were and continue.

[Laura Bailey]

I. I don't want to.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Who's up?

[Liam O'Brien]

I respect that.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

All right.

[Marisha Ray]

All right, let's go. We lose the arena at midnight.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, Jesus. I mean, who. Okay. Travel and fight.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes. Let's go.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Come on. Pop, pop, pop, pop. Just the tip.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Some of these are painful.

[Ashley Johnson]

Some of these are bull. Come on, Groul. Get your head in the kitchen. Eye contact.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Eye contact.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's just like Traveler caught.

[Marisha Ray]

Hey.

[Ashley Johnson]

I. Every time.

[Marisha Ray]

He just needs a little competition.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Every time and. I know. All right, all right, all right, all right.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, what drama this is.

[Matthew Mercer]

Don't forget, if you want to exchange any of your rings for the smaller ones for bonus points, it's always available for this.

[Ashley Johnson]

No, those are way too small. Come on.

[Laura Bailey]

Come on, B. Waiting on you.

[Ashley Johnson]

They're so small.

[Liam O'Brien]

Let's go, Grog.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, that was way off. That was way off. That's for shits and giggles. Let's see what.

[Marisha Ray]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe in you.

[Liam O'Brien]

I don't.

[Marisha Ray]

Matt can't even lie that of the.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Wind to give me some sort of speed and clarity.

[Matthew Mercer]

Step of the way, you can spend a key point the step of the wind to throw mid leap and you can throw that ring from half the distance.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right. It's teeny weeny. It's a teeny weeny.

[Marisha Ray]

Yep, right there.

[Ashley Johnson]

Step of the wind.

[Marisha Ray]

This is. There's no way.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

This is stupid. Why did I this.

[Matthew Mercer]

I believe in you.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I don't know either. Okay, okay, okay.

[Marisha Ray]

So close. Oh, again. No.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Come on.

[Marisha Ray]

He's locked in.

[Ashley Johnson]

Guiding a Guiding Bolt.

[Matthew Mercer]

Grog hunt. What level do you cast? Guiding Bolt grog.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, he's got legs.

[Matthew Mercer]

Jester, what level do you cast? Guiding Bolt?

[Ashley Johnson]

Second level.

[Matthew Mercer]

Grog, you take.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm sorry. I got caught up in the moment.

[Matthew Mercer]

Eight points of radiant damage and are shining brighter than the dawn sun as you throw this magic.

[Ashley Johnson]

Close.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It was close. That was great.

[Marisha Ray]

Give it up for Exandria's favorite God, the Traveler.

[Matthew Mercer]

Come here and present. Present. The Traveler horns. All right.

[Marisha Ray]

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

[Matthew Mercer]

One, two, three, four, five.

[Marisha Ray]

What a shame.

[Laura Bailey]

Now, I'm not so good with numbers, but I think it's close.

[Marisha Ray]

Mary. Yeah, Doug, Tell them what they've lost.

[Matthew Mercer]

Well, friends, unfortunately, you're on the lower end of this competition. You gave it your all. You had good team unity and that's respectable. But MC's gotta punish you. Sorry.

[Ashley Johnson]

Don't do it.

[Marisha Ray]

I know I like you the best.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm having so much fun. Please. We'll be best friends. Why are you going to hurt us?

[Marisha Ray]

We'll be best friends. Yeah. Wait, wait. Stop. Stop. Please. Please. I've never had a friend.

[Ashley Johnson]

Look, Auntie, listen.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm getting married in a few months.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm so happy for you.

[Ashley Johnson]

Thank you. And I don't have a maid of honor yet.

[Marisha Ray]

It sounds like the audience loves this idea.

[Ashley Johnson]

Have you ever worn pink? I think it would look so good in it.

[Marisha Ray]

I would be honored. And I'm gonna cast that nastiest spell I have in mind.

[Matthew Mercer]

You watch as an endless black void of spite burns from a seamless source and tears through Jester's body, sparking out backwards after it builds up inside and impacting like a shockwave across the rest of your team. Jester, you take.

[Ashley Johnson]

Really cruel. I was serious.

[Liam O'Brien]

You keep asking people to do that for you.

[Marisha Ray]

It's getting ridiculous. I was gonna be here.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yeah, we're literally all here. Jester, we can hear you.

[Matthew Mercer]

Jester, you take 38 points of necrotic damage.

[Marisha Ray]

Whoa.

[Ashley Johnson]

Sir, that was rude.

[Matthew Mercer]

And the rest of your team takes half that.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, I tanked it for 19.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

19?

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no, I was just kidding. I love you guys. You're both my mate of. No, you're not. Because you're Ford's best man, aren't you?

[Marisha Ray]

Toadies.

[Liam O'Brien]

So sad, but it's true.

[Marisha Ray]

Please come. Remove the brats.

[Matthew Mercer]

They're statues with cloaks on. Just wanted to clarify.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are you. Are you Cody?

[Marisha Ray]

All right, everyone.

[Ashley Johnson]

Cody, I need to clean it. I'm so sad.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay, that was pretty fun. We're. We're moving the night along a little bit. You were so good at the last one. Why don't you help me with this one? What comes after dexterity? Wrong. Intelligence. Next. Next game, this will be a test of your smarts your know how, your book learnedness.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, great.

[Marisha Ray]

Marty, tell them how this one. You're the first. Indeed.

[Matthew Mercer]

So for each team, three of your players, I need you to all make intelligence checks for me.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Three.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay?

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Sharon, are you smart? Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack, crack.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

How smart are you?

[Laura Bailey]

I won't let you down. I let you down.

[Matthew Mercer]

Starting with team blue. What do we got?

[Laura Bailey]

Negative 2. Modifier for a 17.

[Liam O'Brien]

What are you rolling?

[Ashley Johnson]

Why is he rolling so well?

[Laura Bailey]

Listen.

[Liam O'Brien]

Well, I will tell you, but before I do, first I take out a little read and I whisper into it to the last person, all the way to the left in this part of the audience and say, listen, I need you to leave through the back door and find the rest of the mighty Nine. We need them. The fate of everything relies on you. You may reply to this message.

[Laura Bailey]

And some chocolate if you find some. Good.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay, it's a 27 for me.

[Matthew Mercer]

And Fern.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's see, I have a negative one, and I rolled a five. So four.

[Matthew Mercer]

Perfect. Which three of you will be competing in this trivia?

[Ashley Johnson]

Who?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I rolled a 21.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right, Bo at 21.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do you want me to do it or you do it?

[Liam O'Brien]

I'll do it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

I rolled a 10.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, right. I rolled a 22 too.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right, we got a. Bloody hell.

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't think I've met you before.

[Liam O'Brien]

No. And I've got to say, you're irritating and very attractive and it's confusing me quite a bit.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes.

[Matthew Mercer]

So, boss.

[Liam O'Brien]

Hi.

[Matthew Mercer]

Each of you will be asked a question. It's up to you to answer. Based on how well you rolled, it might adjust the difficulty and the options you have at your disposal. The team with the most correct answers at the end avoids punishment.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are we allowed to phone a friend?

[Liam O'Brien]

What does that mean?

[Ashley Johnson]

I mean, like, if we don't know the answer, can we talk it out?

[Marisha Ray]

I tried that, but they're not responding to the message.

[Matthew Mercer]

I hope you have yourselves ready for a game, friends.

[Marisha Ray]

Sure.

[Matthew Mercer]

Malvolio, why don't you take this away?

[Marisha Ray]

Who doesn't love a little bit of trivia, huh?

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm really not a fan.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes, and who doesn't know all of the deep, rich exandrian lore before us?

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't.

[Liam O'Brien]

I don't remember what I had for breakfast. Definitely not the cast of Critical Role.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Sorry, Danny.

[Marisha Ray]

Who is this Danny you speak of?

[Liam O'Brien]

Priestess of the Knowing Mistress.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

First question. Why not you, big guy?

[Laura Bailey]

Me?

[Marisha Ray]

Yes, you, Handsome, strong, clearly smart.

[Matthew Mercer]

You have 30 seconds to answer each of these questions.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, and since you did so well, I might make you a little multiple choice.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, thank the gods. Wait, does that mean there's multiple. Oh, wait, I'm already lost.

[Marisha Ray]

This is going to be great. Which of these celestial forces does the matron of Raven hold dominion over?

[Laura Bailey]

I know that guy.

[Marisha Ray]

Fate in masks. Death and undead. Winter in Fate, Arcana and Sadness and Undead.

[Laura Bailey]

Number two.

[Marisha Ray]

Is that your final answer?

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. Number Death and Undead. Cuz he. He killed back.

[Marisha Ray]

Your answer was Death and undead. Death.

[Laura Bailey]

Isn't that what you said?

[Marisha Ray]

Yes. Is that even a word? Undeath or. It is now.

[Laura Bailey]

Yes.

[Marisha Ray]

And the answer is. Would you read that for me, Mie?

[Matthew Mercer]

The answer is Winter and fate. You are Incorrect.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait a minute. I thought the matron was about death.

[Liam O'Brien]

Not sort of the opposite, really. She has a bit of a problem. I read that.

[Laura Bailey]

Just sounds like a branding.

[Ashley Johnson]

She's not here anymore. She's so stupid.

[Matthew Mercer]

The answer was Winter in faith.

[Ashley Johnson]

Winter.

[Matthew Mercer]

And death's in there, too. It's a tricky question. You did good, boy. But that's one negative point for you.

[Liam O'Brien]

Maybe. It's like golf.

[Marisha Ray]

The Larry, you're a member of the Cobalt Soul. You know everything.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yeah, but. But I'm under pressure.

[Ashley Johnson]

You're going to be so good at this.

[Marisha Ray]

Kill it. They can't hear us. I have two quick questions. Yes? They're doing a little better than I thought they would, and it's making me a little bit nervous, if you know what I mean. You've had more experience at this than I. Am I doing okay? Am I all right?

[Matthew Mercer]

You're doing fine. Just, you know, stick to the script. Make sure you put it on hard. Make them fearful so that they don't get angry and.

[Marisha Ray]

Yeah, yeah, you're doing. Doing great. And my last question is. If I say, is that your final answer again, will we get sued?

[Matthew Mercer]

Is that your definitive response?

[Marisha Ray]

I love the workaround. Next question.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, Matt, were we able to hear any of that that was going on just now?

[Matthew Mercer]

Make a perception check for me.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. A little 20.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah, you heard a little bit of that.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right.

[Marisha Ray]

Up next for the red team. Come on, Bo. Bo.

[Ashley Johnson]

You got it, Bo. You got it.

[Marisha Ray]

You did well as well.

[Liam O'Brien]

You can do this, Beauregard.

[Ashley Johnson]

You know everything.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Thank you, King.

[Laura Bailey]

You suck, Beau.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Thank you, Grog. Dah.

[Laura Bailey]

How was that?

[Marisha Ray]

The massive body of water that exists between Isilra and Tal' Dore is known as Hwa.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

If you would like.

[Marisha Ray]

No multiple choices. I will give you two points if you answer correctly.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do you know it?

[Matthew Mercer]

You've got this.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm pretty sure I know this.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do it. You've got this.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

But I really only know one ocean.

[Marisha Ray]

Would you like the multiple choice or no?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It might just confuse me, so I'm gonna say the Lucidian Ocean.

[Marisha Ray]

Is that your definitive answer?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That is my definitive response.

[Marisha Ray]

It is. Four.

[Matthew Mercer]

Three.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh.

[Ashley Johnson]

What the.

[Marisha Ray]

Who's that? Oh, my.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Every time.

[Marisha Ray]

Incorrect. What? What?

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no.

[Marisha Ray]

The answer is the Ozmits. What?

[Ashley Johnson]

He awesome.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I should have known that.

[Liam O'Brien]

I knew it.

[Ashley Johnson]

I thought it was a C. I.

[Marisha Ray]

Thought it was a C. And unfortunately, since no questions or answers, you get negative 2 points. What? My game, my rules.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's how the boss works.

[Ashley Johnson]

He talks like he's compensating for something.

[Liam O'Brien]

Quite a bit, actually.

[Marisha Ray]

I don't know what you're talking about. My horns are huge. Yeah, and. And see, Are you. Are you a minotaur by any chance? Gm? What kind of look is Veth giving me right now?

[Matthew Mercer]

Beth, what look are you. Yeah, that look.

[Ashley Johnson]

Stop.

[Liam O'Brien]

It's the only look it has. It's just one. And it spits up.

[Ashley Johnson]

It never works for you. Beth, try another method. Okay, that's.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes, I am. I am not up next.

[Ashley Johnson]

Caleb, you got this.

[Marisha Ray]

Caleb, you've got to do well.

[Liam O'Brien]

Keen mind, don't fail me now.

[Ashley Johnson]

Guidance.

[Matthew Mercer]

He's already rolled. But I love the.

[Marisha Ray]

Cue the music. Maddie. The mythical dragon Devosa, protector of Ank' Harel, is storied to be. What color? With a 27, you will get the multiple choice. Brass, Gold, platinum, Silver.

[Laura Bailey]

Take your time, don't rush it. If you have to touch yourself, that's okay. I do. When I get nervous. Let a little toot out. You'll be fine. I forgot the colors already, but you got this. Speak that weird language you talk.

[Liam O'Brien]

I have a definitive response. The answer is all about that brass.

[Marisha Ray]

Audience. Was that correct? You are correct as well.

[Liam O'Brien]

Frog dislocates Caleb's arm. Be honest. I was literally born yesterday.

[Ashley Johnson]

Caleb, I can help you. Just come over here. No, no, no.

[Laura Bailey]

Blue team better than red team.

[Ashley Johnson]

To be fair, they have been beating us on everything. We have four people. What the fuck?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

There's two team. There's two games that have happened and we have one.

[Laura Bailey]

We actually made up a song. It's called Blue is Cool. And that's the rule. I'd rather be dead than you.

[Liam O'Brien]

While I am sad to not be with my compatriots, I feel that our strength is in our diversity.

[Ashley Johnson]

I have donuts. Who wants one?

[Marisha Ray]

I'll take it. Donut.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'll take it. Donut.

[Marisha Ray]

Next question for the red team. And Kingsley, you didn't roll so well, so your question is going to be a little bit harder. But I will give you the multiple choice. What creature is emblazoned on the quest? The crest. What creature is emblazoned on the crest? The Dwindalian Empire.

[Liam O'Brien]

You said the multiple choice will get on with it.

[Marisha Ray]

An owl, a wolf, a hawk or a lion. Do you know what creature is emblazoned on the crest of the Dwendalian Empire? An owl, a wolf, a hawk or a lion.

[Liam O'Brien]

I think if I remembered correctly, it's an animal. That means when this gets towards the end, I'm gonna make sure that you fucking die at the end of my sword.

[Matthew Mercer]

10 seconds remain.

[Liam O'Brien]

Hurt you in particular, your bloody friend. You're not gonna survive this. And I think it's a wolf.

[Marisha Ray]

All that bravado and such a weak libido. The answer is an Ow.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, we are going to get hurt again.

[Marisha Ray]

My God.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's okay, Caleb.

[Marisha Ray]

Have pity on me. I'm a mother.

[Liam O'Brien]

Do you want me to cast banish on you right now and send you home?

[Marisha Ray]

No, because as. As bad as we're doing, I think we'll do worse without. That is a fair point.

[Liam O'Brien]

Carry on.

[Marisha Ray]

You can reply to this message. Something catches Malvolio's eye. In the moment between games and in his own dimension, he slowly and quickly looks back over the last 10 seconds to what Kingsley said to him about hurting him, about taking his power, about killing him. And he tries to remind himself of the audience's reaction. Kingsley, what did you say to me again?

[Liam O'Brien]

Before this is over, I'm gonna make sure that you meet my sword.

[Marisha Ray]

And what did the audience sound like after he said those words?

[Liam O'Brien]

I think that they think I'm hot. And you're.

[Marisha Ray]

If you were perceptive, you would see one tiny sequin fall off of my jacket. Next question. His ego is his weakness. Up next, we have Fearne. Fearne, you look delightful.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes, I. It turned. I am a professor, so I probably will actually. Actually know the answer to what you're gonna be asking me. Yeah, Professor Princess. Oh, my God.

[Marisha Ray]

This question's going to be somewhat more difficult. Mythborough is the lair. You're cooked already.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

All right, all right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. I'm gonna know. I'm gonna know the answer.

[Marisha Ray]

Mythborough is the layer of which dragon What?

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Myth Baro.

[Ashley Johnson]

And I don't get multiple choice because I rolled bad, right? I just get to guess. May I?

[Marisha Ray]

What do you think? Give me. Give me your input on this one.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah, give him multiple choice. She seems nice enough and kind of lost.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, yeah, give me. Give me a multiple choice rhyme.

[Marisha Ray]

Fang geladon.

[Ashley Johnson]

Great, great.

[Marisha Ray]

Help me with that one. My glasses are a little bit Vorugal.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's right.

[Marisha Ray]

And one more. Raisha, your time begins now.

[Ashley Johnson]

Listen, can I cast sleight of hand and look at the answer?

[Matthew Mercer]

Are you gonna get up from your chair to do so?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, I'll do it.

[Matthew Mercer]

Make a sleight of hand.

[Marisha Ray]

Check.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Dirty 20.

[Matthew Mercer]

Make a perception check.

[Marisha Ray]

Perception. Perception check.

[Matthew Mercer]

10 seconds remain. It's bad.

[Marisha Ray]

For.

[Matthew Mercer]

7, 4, 3, 2, 1. You glance quickly from the Edge of the table over and get one quick look at the card.

[Marisha Ray]

Do I see her doing this?

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes.

[Marisha Ray]

And I mean, I'm going to cast Phantasmal force and make her see if it works. And make her see the. The word Thordak.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Let's go.

[Matthew Mercer]

Burn. I need you to make an intelligent saving throw. I believe. Right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come on. It's a damn six.

[Marisha Ray]

It says Thordak.

[Liam O'Brien]

Does Fearne remember that Thordak was not spoken aloud 30 seconds ago.

[Matthew Mercer]

Do you?

[Ashley Johnson]

Y. Yes.

[Matthew Mercer]

Then what's your answer?

[Ashley Johnson]

My answer is what I saw on the card when I rolled my perfect sleight of hand to see the answer.

[Matthew Mercer]

That the answer said Thordak.

[Ashley Johnson]

The answer said Thordak.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

Rhymefang. Galadon Vorugal.

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, I have to go. Thordak.

[Marisha Ray]

Raishan.

[Ashley Johnson]

5.

[Marisha Ray]

4.

[Ashley Johnson]

I was gonna say. I was gonna say Thordak. Right? I saw it plain as day. It was like so huge on the paper.

[Marisha Ray]

Unfortunately, that's incorrect. The answer is Galadon.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, shit.

[Marisha Ray]

Sorry.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right. I see how we're playing now, boss.

[Matthew Mercer]

That was an answer that was not even given as part of the multiple choice.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, you're right.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's pretty. It's pretty outlifting.

[Ashley Johnson]

How did that happen? Yeah. Maybe you're a professor. Maybe. Did you just remember the correct answer? Were they trying to trick you? Maybe. Maybe they were.

[Liam O'Brien]

Maybe the question's wrong.

[Marisha Ray]

Maybe grog's dumb is spreading.

[Laura Bailey]

Wouldn't be the first time something I've had is spreading.

[Liam O'Brien]

I message veth and say you are not allowed to use the tower for your date nights for six months.

[Marisha Ray]

But it's got that swing we like.

[Liam O'Brien]

I think you're broken.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah. Normally the cats are just on it like it's a. Like a cat tree. They hang out all over it. They have no idea the debauchery that happens when the doors are closed.

[Ashley Johnson]

I feel like the cats would know.

[Marisha Ray]

It's time for the final question.

[Ashley Johnson]

You got this vet.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Gotta bring it home.

[Marisha Ray]

The score is currently negative two to negative three.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes.

[Liam O'Brien]

Bring us home. Bring us home.

[Marisha Ray]

This. I'll make you an offer. With a 20. If you would like to answer this question or with no multiple choice, you may have two points assuring the win. If you would like to answer this easy question with multiple choice, it would tie the game. What would you like to do?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Do we not get to hear the question first?

[Marisha Ray]

Not yet, you do not. Audience, what should I do? Stop, please.

[Ashley Johnson]

Please.

[Marisha Ray]

If you'd like to see them ask and go and get all the questions as multiple choice. Make some noise. Multiple choice. For the tie. Go big or go home. All right, I'm going big or going home. I'm going to make a say a little prayer to this thing that I stole off of a stagehand in the back. It's time. Let's go. The historical era, when the gods of Exandria first divided into prime and Betrayer at odds with each other, is known as what?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You know this?

[Matthew Mercer]

You know this.

[Laura Bailey]

You're an executive producer on both animated series.

[Ashley Johnson]

You know, this is such an easy question.

[Marisha Ray]

The historical era when the gods of Exandrian are first divided into prime and Betray are at odds with one another is known as what era? I really don't pay attention when Matt talks.

[Ashley Johnson]

You know this.

[Marisha Ray]

All right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Only.

[Marisha Ray]

It rhymes with jism.

[Liam O'Brien]

I cast Polymorph.

[Marisha Ray]

Schism.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, Sloth.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

She got it out.

[Liam O'Brien]

Not before I said I cast Polymorph. He said rhymes with jism.

[Matthew Mercer]

They said it was a wisdom saving throw for them, right? Yeah. Make a wisdom saving throw. Bet.

[Ashley Johnson]

Nah.

[Marisha Ray]

25 she beats it. That's right. It's time for your definitive response. Schism. Bitch. Correct.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right, all right.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, Mommy.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my God, you're so smart. You're even smarter than Bob.

[Marisha Ray]

I cast intellect Fortress on myself, that's why.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, I didn't know you could even do that kind of thing. I can't.

[Marisha Ray]

It's a third level spell. Merty, tell them what they've lost.

[Matthew Mercer]

Well, with the victory over here, on the blue team or the red team? I apologize. Little color play. Blue team, over here. An unfortunate loss. And in this circumstance, you're gonna have to taste a little bit of the abyss. My apologies. Watch as Malvolio lifts a hand in the air and the ground cracks underneath and you hear the screaming of a thousand souls. Suddenly you feel a bit of your essence torn and sent into the ground below.

[Ashley Johnson]

Boo.

[Matthew Mercer]

The rest. The red team. The red team takes 21 points, making the audience happy.

[Laura Bailey]

Red team or the blue team?

[Matthew Mercer]

Sorry, blue team? Blue team takes 21 points of necrotic damage.

[Marisha Ray]

Just a little gassy from the catering is all. Next game. Next game. Shut up. Constitution game. Mine's not feeling so well right now. This next game is called Tough Shot. So who among you is the toughest? Give me a second. Marty, can you please explain this one? I'm not feeling so.

[Matthew Mercer]

Of course, of course. I would appreciate three members of each team to make a constitution check to see the order in which you will be enjoying and imbibing some substance that you're unaware of. And upon drinking it you have to make no face for five seconds.

[Marisha Ray]

You guys do it?

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Saving throw or check?

[Matthew Mercer]

Just a check.

[Ashley Johnson]

Just a check. Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

Wait, you said this is Constitution.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, you know, I feel kind of bad about that last round. So even though I'm the best at drinking alcohol, I'm gonna sit this one out.

[Ashley Johnson]

You are really good at it.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm so good at it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are the three things. Is it like milk?

[Liam O'Brien]

Your swing is off limits for 12 months. Keep it up without the swing. That'll be hard.

[Matthew Mercer]

Will. All right, so for this regard, on this side, what are the roles?

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no, Bo, say it. 5, 15, 22.

[Matthew Mercer]

Jester. Kingsley. Then Bo is going to be the order on this side.

[Laura Bailey]

21, 20.

[Ashley Johnson]

I think. I think that was a seven.

[Matthew Mercer]

Alrighty.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Let's go. Let's go.

[Marisha Ray]

Be getting my second win. Speed this along. I'm ready for intermission. Toadies. Bring it out. Whoever rolled the best, come see me. Come, come.

[Matthew Mercer]

That would be Jester and Grog. Please come sit here at the table.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hi, Grog.

[Marisha Ray]

Hello, Grog.

[Laura Bailey]

Hello. It's very nice to meet you.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hi. It feels really cool to be at this table. Now, would you like to sit down.

[Marisha Ray]

On the other side? You can sit if you'd like, but if you could stand at this corner and would be.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, you don't want me to sit down where you've been sitting?

[Marisha Ray]

Yes. Yes. That's perfect. Yes.

[Matthew Mercer]

I love the show.

[Marisha Ray]

Sorry, I'm not quite feeling myself.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are you okay?

[Marisha Ray]

Just fine. Have a seat.

[Ashley Johnson]

You look a little ill. Yeah, well.

[Marisha Ray]

You look a little blue.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm always blue.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, that's a little hotter.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, thank you very much, kind sir.

[Marisha Ray]

Beautiful couple.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm suddenly very nervous.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, why do they look so weird? Hi.

[Laura Bailey]

Hi.

[Ashley Johnson]

Nice to see you.

[Laura Bailey]

Nice to see you.

[Marisha Ray]

You two feeling confident?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Matthew Mercer]

Good.

[Marisha Ray]

Are you feeling confident? Confident? Proud of yourself? Strong. Yes, Strong. You're first to go. Don't worry, this won't be so bad. Moody, tell them what they're having this evening.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, well, this here, you know, let's keep it a mystery.

[Marisha Ray]

I love a good.

[Matthew Mercer]

Let them. Let them discover the flavor as it hits the pow.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do we do it all at once.

[Marisha Ray]

Or we're gonna count them down? 3, 2, 1. And then we start. The goal here is to make no face whatsoever. Good or bad. Are you ready? At the same time, on the count of three, here we go. Three, two, one. Looks like two points for each team, one to the other. Give it up for our contestants. Excellent. Excellent. The first shot was simple.

[Matthew Mercer]

Simply a. That, my friend, was a. It's not written on my sheet here.

[Laura Bailey]

Can I have more? If you find any frog.

[Marisha Ray]

What did it taste like to you?

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, booze.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, it tastes like sugary booze.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm pretty sure it was just a birthday cake shot. So we're good to go. We're just loosening up for the second half. This will surely be as pleasant. Round 2. Get your ass up here.

[Matthew Mercer]

Let's Caleb Kingsley to the table.

[Marisha Ray]

Chop, chop. Come on, red team. Oh, swagger.

[Liam O'Brien]

Does it occur to you that maybe made the best we're paying a little too much attention at beating each other and not the actual problem.

[Marisha Ray]

Lock it up. That's the lemon juice. These are cement mixers. Get after it. Go. Three, two, one. Little tear.

[Ashley Johnson]

Don't make a face. Kingsley, stop it. Don't lift up.

[Marisha Ray]

Another two points. One point, team.

[Ashley Johnson]

Good job, Caleb. Good job, Caleb.

[Marisha Ray]

Sorry.

[Ashley Johnson]

You did great. I'm not working out for you, is it?

[Marisha Ray]

Mc?

[Ashley Johnson]

I have a failing. Yeah. Did you work really hard on this or something? Because I feel bad for you.

[Marisha Ray]

Look at the production value. It's a lot.

[Liam O'Brien]

That was a shit shot.

[Marisha Ray]

Last one. Get up here.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right.

[Marisha Ray]

This one won't go easy, I promise.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Are you used to having strange liquids in your mouth?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes, I am.

[Marisha Ray]

Toadies. Oh, you've already poured it. Well, this is a local favorite from the great land Illinois.

[Liam O'Brien]

I know where this is.

[Marisha Ray]

On the count of three, we will prepare to pray to the porcelain gods.

[Matthew Mercer]

And I will say, as part of this.

[Ashley Johnson]

I gotta stand.

[Matthew Mercer]

You gotta swish before you swallow.

[Ashley Johnson]

Swish before you swallow.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

Had this before. No faces.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm so excited.

[Ashley Johnson]

Why are you all standing like you're excited to see what this is?

[Matthew Mercer]

I want a better view.

[Ashley Johnson]

Can I smell it?

[Marisha Ray]

No. On the count zero, we'll say three, two, one. You know what it is?

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Three, two, one.

[Ashley Johnson]

Go, B. Go, go. Whoa, Whoa.

[Marisha Ray]

Someone loves Illinois. I. I see. Wow. That was fine. Fine. Go back to seat.

[Ashley Johnson]

We're all tied up. It feels like liquid fire. Yeah, I. I don't know. What was that? What the is?

[Matthew Mercer]

We're trying to do our best here, but they're a little.

[Marisha Ray]

Your best isn't good enough.

[Matthew Mercer]

They're a little tougher than I expected.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay, please bring me another shot.

[Ashley Johnson]

You guys, do you need some guidance or something?

[Marisha Ray]

I don't need anything from you.

[Liam O'Brien]

Need a bloody mixologist.

[Marisha Ray]

You think you're so good. Such proud heroes and spies. You think you're so special. Who hurt you, you weirdo? Pick Someone from the three and four of you. Anyone. I don't care.

[Ashley Johnson]

You haven't gone yet, though. That should go.

[Laura Bailey]

There we go.

[Ashley Johnson]

That should go.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Step up.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do not make a face, Beth.

[Liam O'Brien]

You this up, woman.

[Matthew Mercer]

I will.

[Marisha Ray]

It's time.

[Liam O'Brien]

Bloody swing this.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, Ashley's back up.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

This one's. This one's worth a thousand points. I don't care anymore.

[Ashley Johnson]

Nobody's had more in their mouth than that.

[Marisha Ray]

This is tequila.

[Ashley Johnson]

This is.

[Marisha Ray]

Well, that's probably hot sauce. And in my neck of the woods. Holy.

[Liam O'Brien]

Don't you this up, Beth.

[Marisha Ray]

We call this a prairie fire. I'm not good. Why did you say yes to it then?

[Matthew Mercer]

Now you see why he's the boss.

[Ashley Johnson]

Respect. Respect to you. What's your name? Makia Valley. What did you say your name was?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I want to tag out.

[Liam O'Brien]

Tag out?

[Laura Bailey]

There's no tagging out.

[Ashley Johnson]

You want to tag out?

[Marisha Ray]

I'm gonna lose.

[Ashley Johnson]

No, you're not hot.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Or your group was spicy.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's too late, friend.

[Ashley Johnson]

No, you have to stay.

[Marisha Ray]

Fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

You'll be fine.

[Marisha Ray]

Get it together.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Pucker your asshole.

[Marisha Ray]

That's so red. I put a little extra in for you.

[Liam O'Brien]

Suck it up, soccer mom.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Come on, Come on.

[Marisha Ray]

See?

[Ashley Johnson]

It made a mistake.

[Marisha Ray]

Three, two, one.

[Ashley Johnson]

Get it together.

[Marisha Ray]

You did.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Don't do it.

[Marisha Ray]

Don't.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Don't do it.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh. Oh.

[Ashley Johnson]

Was it.

[Marisha Ray]

Congratulations. You both win. I'm so happy for you.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's great. You've also all made a mess of my DM screen.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no. It really did get messed up. My interior of my body. Body feels like it's on fire. I kind of want to buy it, though. I'm gonna have like a hot tonight.

[Marisha Ray]

All right, all right. We've got to move this along.

[Liam O'Brien]

Rashad acting up or you're going to shard.

[Marisha Ray]

What's that?

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm in a shard for sure.

[Marisha Ray]

Hot.

[Ashley Johnson]

What's going on?

[Marisha Ray]

Yes, yes, I hear you. I hear you. Oh, yes.

[Laura Bailey]

He's getting a call.

[Marisha Ray]

Christ, another stage manager in my ear. Up next, second to last game.

[Laura Bailey]

Wisdom, wisdom, Wisdom, Wisdom.

[Marisha Ray]

Toadies, bring out the props.

[Matthew Mercer]

Pick one person from each team.

[Liam O'Brien]

You're the best.

[Matthew Mercer]

One person to draw.

[Liam O'Brien]

I have good wisdom.

[Marisha Ray]

The second to last game is called intuitive drawing. Oh, Jester, you've got this.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, okay, okay. Don't believe in you.

[Matthew Mercer]

I'm a really good.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So, like, I'm burping.

[Liam O'Brien]

You're also dealing with that.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Ashley Johnson]

Is this a saving throw or a check? Not me.

[Marisha Ray]

Mary, could you give him the run?

[Matthew Mercer]

So both of you choose one person from your team.

[Ashley Johnson]

Sorry, guys.

[Matthew Mercer]

I'm going to have you roll a wisdom check based on what you roll. You'll be given a prompt from me quietly, and you have to draw it while blindfolded. You'll have 30 seconds for your team to try and guess it. And if they fail to do so in 30 seconds, the opposing team has a chance to steal the points. We're going to do two rounds. Each team wait and see who wins.

[Marisha Ray]

How are you going to whisper with a microphone in your mouth?

[Matthew Mercer]

I got way.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay. All right, who's drawing and who's guessing? Everyone else is guessing. Who's drawing.

[Ashley Johnson]

He's drawing.

[Marisha Ray]

Chester.

[Ashley Johnson]

What? I'm drawing.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You're the artist.

[Matthew Mercer]

Jester and Caleb, I'd like you both.

[Ashley Johnson]

Caleb, really? Get out of here. Don't go against me.

[Matthew Mercer]

Wisdom saving or wisdom checks for me, please.

[Liam O'Brien]

I. I have already it up.

[Ashley Johnson]

Guidance. No, you already rolled Truly.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah, I just saw what it was.

[Ashley Johnson]

Never mind.

[Liam O'Brien]

Well, I have very high wisdom modifier, but I rolled a 4, so it's 15.

[Ashley Johnson]

Not too bad, but guidance. No, you didn't.

[Matthew Mercer]

You got a guidance before the roll.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, yeah, no, sorry.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's a good try.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'll just see if you're. I have a really high wisdom as well, but they also rolled really well. So. Caleb, we tied.

[Laura Bailey]

Rose.

[Marisha Ray]

It is.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Come on, Come on.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no.

[Liam O'Brien]

Natural 20.

[Ashley Johnson]

Boom. 99.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

9.

[Marisha Ray]

All right, Caleb, you're up first with an easy prompt. Look, look, Ariana.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right. I got to get it close and.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

See, we technically should all be.

[Ashley Johnson]

Sorry. I'm going to keep.

[Liam O'Brien]

That's what I keep saying. But then the spirit of competition.

[Ashley Johnson]

Here's the thing. I truly love you guys and I know it really. The indigestion is really intense.

[Liam O'Brien]

Cowards.

[Marisha Ray]

Do we.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do we have the same? Do we have the same?

[Marisha Ray]

Only you can guess it first, but if you don't get it, the other team has an opportunity to steal. So you'll want to see.

[Ashley Johnson]

We're going to get it. We're going to get it. We're going to get it. All right. You got this. Oh, my God. You got this.

[Liam O'Brien]

Are you going to tell me go? Is that how this works?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes. Huh?

[Matthew Mercer]

All right.

[Marisha Ray]

Are you ready to start the timer?

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes. 30 seconds to draw and guess.

[Marisha Ray]

30 seconds. Go.

[Laura Bailey]

Nothingness.

[Ashley Johnson]

A bike. A cat. Batman.

[Liam O'Brien]

Got it already.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, great.

[Marisha Ray]

A cat.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. Great.

[Marisha Ray]

Cat is correct. That's it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wow.

[Marisha Ray]

You're up next.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Congratulations. Let's all say it together. You guys, congratulations.

[Ashley Johnson]

Congratulations. You gave Caleb a cat. That's cheating.

[Marisha Ray]

You're right, Jester.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

You're going to get a hard one because you lost your.

[Ashley Johnson]

Listen, I'm sorry. No hard feelings. I don't mind that you attacked me earlier. Okay? I know. It's just your job. I understand. I saw you earlier. Look, I know you're under a lot of pressure.

[Marisha Ray]

Let's talk down here. Talk down here? Yes. Are you ready to draw something?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay. Come over here.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Let me see it. Where is it? Let me see the prop.

[Marisha Ray]

That's just right there. There you go.

[Liam O'Brien]

Good luck.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Oh, wait. I forgot my marker.

[Marisha Ray]

That would help.

[Laura Bailey]

No pressure.

[Ashley Johnson]

You got this, Chester. Thank you. You look really hot. You do, too.

[Laura Bailey]

Thanks.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, God.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, she's a lefty.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh. We don't get to see it until after school.

[Marisha Ray]

Know what to.

[Liam O'Brien]

Understood.

[Marisha Ray]

And don't look at the monitors, either.

[Ashley Johnson]

Don't you tell us what to do.

[Marisha Ray]

I'll tell you. I. I'm fire right now.

[Liam O'Brien]

These magic are enormous.

[Marisha Ray]

30 seconds. Count them down. Mie.

[Ashley Johnson]

Am I going? Oh, wait, no.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, it's. It's a. It's a D12. No, it's a. Oh.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, you're announcing. It's a beacon.

[Matthew Mercer]

Beacon.

[Marisha Ray]

It. That is correct. It's beacon. That's correct.

[Ashley Johnson]

That looks just like a beacon.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It kind of does.

[Liam O'Brien]

It really does.

[Ashley Johnson]

You did a good job.

[Liam O'Brien]

Kind of hit it. It's no cat.

[Marisha Ray]

No.

[Ashley Johnson]

It is not winning.

[Laura Bailey]

I don't want to temp fate, but these games are kind of easy.

[Marisha Ray]

Why would you do that?

[Matthew Mercer]

Don't flock the boss. They're calling you easy.

[Marisha Ray]

I know, I know.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right.

[Marisha Ray]

I'll be fine. Next. Isn't there another. How does this game work? There's more people.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah. They do another round on this side. Are you boss? You okay over here?

[Marisha Ray]

I don't know. Maybe it was the Lord. I'm okay. I'm okay. Yes. Yes. Let's keep going. Let's keep fucking going. Who's next? Who's drawing?

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, we're doing Driven Artists.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right.

[Marisha Ray]

Another easy one. No.

[Matthew Mercer]

This one's been taunting over there. Give him a hard one.

[Laura Bailey]

Whatever you do, don't give us another cat.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

Caleb, look at me. Look at me. Tell me through your mind. Okay. What it is.

[Matthew Mercer]

Sit down, boy. I'm about to start the time.

[Ashley Johnson]

Got it?

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

Say it one more time in your mind.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah. As I sit down, I cast haste on myself.

[Matthew Mercer]

Unfortunately, that window of casting spells on yourself is faded.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, well, I'll save that slot, then.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's Go, Grog.

[Marisha Ray]

Start the timer.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh.

[Marisha Ray]

Back.

[Ashley Johnson]

We're going a circle. It's the moon. It's. It's ruid. Ruidous. It is a mad vampire. A vampire. That's really good.

[Liam O'Brien]

You're just a bloody creature.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's really good. That's a vampire. It's a vampire.

[Liam O'Brien]

That's a vampire.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

To be fair, Vox Machina fought a lot of those.

[Liam O'Brien]

We are the same. We are both artists.

[Ashley Johnson]

Caleb, you're so talented. I'm so proud of you.

[Marisha Ray]

Don't fraternize with.

[Liam O'Brien]

Me. I learned it by watching you.

[Ashley Johnson]

Good job, Caleb. I've been giving him lessons.

[Marisha Ray]

How dare you.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Doing all right?

[Ashley Johnson]

What?

[Marisha Ray]

When you hugged him, did you pick his pocket?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. What's going on over here with this guy?

[Marisha Ray]

Jester, come here.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come here.

[Marisha Ray]

We're friends, right? Here.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are you okay?

[Marisha Ray]

Yeah. Come on.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come on.

[Marisha Ray]

We'll be fine. I wish I could come in.

[Laura Bailey]

Let me guess. In the blind. The sun heal you?

[Ashley Johnson]

You know, I have healing.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, no, it's not like that. Okay. What can. What can I give you to. To. To this up on purpose? Can I give you anything?

[Ashley Johnson]

I've got.

[Marisha Ray]

I've got. I've got money. I got friends in high places. Just. Just draw. Bad. Can you draw? Do a bad. Can you.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. I feel so sorry for you.

[Marisha Ray]

Maybe if I don't feel sorry.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Don't trust a man in a top hat.

[Marisha Ray]

Draw. Draw it. Draw it. Draw it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Are you going to be okay?

[Marisha Ray]

I'll be fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

Listen, are you working for somebody?

[Marisha Ray]

I'll be fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

Whoa. I feel like it's not his choice.

[Matthew Mercer]

What is it? Come sit down and prepare to draw. It's what the boss wants.

[Laura Bailey]

Don't worry. You did so good last time.

[Ashley Johnson]

Thank you, Grog. Oh, no. I feel torn. What if he's not that bad?

[Marisha Ray]

That's what you say about.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, can I. Can I roll. Can I roll an insight check to see if he's trying to trick me?

[Matthew Mercer]

Sure. Roll an insight check.

[Marisha Ray]

He's got a top hat made of gold horn.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Of course he's trying to trick you.

[Ashley Johnson]

I rolled a 13.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's hard to tell.

[Liam O'Brien]

Jess. It hardly matters. I don't think he's gonna do better or worse, depending on if you do better or worse.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. What's happening over here?

[Laura Bailey]

Don't worry, Jester. If they don't guess it, we will. And then we'll win.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. You got this. This is gonna be a hard one. Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

Be clear.

[Ashley Johnson]

Go for it.

[Marisha Ray]

Yep. It's a book.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's a tome. It's a book of some sort. A grimoire.

[Marisha Ray]

It's a page. It's a dick. It's a dick.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's Traveler's journal.

[Liam O'Brien]

No, it's.

[Marisha Ray]

It's.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, bloody hell.

[Marisha Ray]

Chester's journal.

[Liam O'Brien]

No, it's.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Caleb's journal. Caleb's journal.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, it's the poor.

[Liam O'Brien]

It's the poor one.

[Marisha Ray]

What's the. It's.

[Liam O'Brien]

It's smart. It's smart.

[Marisha Ray]

Bloody hell. What was happening?

[Matthew Mercer]

His head around who one.

[Marisha Ray]

Tus glove.

[Matthew Mercer]

Is it Tus glove?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes.

[Matthew Mercer]

I don't. That's a failure. Mother on this team. But the other team has a chance to steal the points.

[Marisha Ray]

Blue team.

[Liam O'Brien]

And they already said.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, no, I know what it is.

[Marisha Ray]

Blue team, take a look. What is it?

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, dog.

[Ashley Johnson]

I mean, I think it. It. It could be. It could be.

[Liam O'Brien]

That is my spellbook.

[Ashley Johnson]

It could be tusclove.

[Liam O'Brien]

No, it's a dick in it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We already said.

[Marisha Ray]

You said the answer is pamphlet.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's a pamphlet. Traveler Pamphlet.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Wait. Can I get one more chance?

[Matthew Mercer]

Absolutely not.

[Marisha Ray]

Spell book. Blue team takes it. Yes. This is what I needed.

[Ashley Johnson]

Point of the cake.

[Marisha Ray]

Ancient power. APPLAUSE Fuck you. And I cast you.

[Matthew Mercer]

Watch out of the anger and frustration of Malvolio. This blast of infernal spite and fire.

[Marisha Ray]

Wait. I object. Overruled. He's got you there.

[Liam O'Brien]

It was a good try. It was a good try. I understand that difference.

[Matthew Mercer]

Your team takes.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's very good for a blindfolded spell.

[Matthew Mercer]

40 points of fire damage.

[Liam O'Brien]

I have resistance to fire.

[Ashley Johnson]

How much?

[Marisha Ray]

40.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

40.

[Matthew Mercer]

So you take 20.

[Liam O'Brien]

All right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait. I have my ring of fire resistance arm.

[Matthew Mercer]

Then you also take 20.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Can I attempt to evade this fire damage dungeon master?

[Matthew Mercer]

Not in this round.

[Ashley Johnson]

This is. This is our side.

[Marisha Ray]

I love you.

[Ashley Johnson]

That was a really good drawing though, Caleb, wasn't it?

[Liam O'Brien]

It was beautiful.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, what's that? Awesome.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes. Yes. Go on.

[Matthew Mercer]

We're down to the last part of the first half and it looks like they're starting to come apart the seams. I think you're making this up. I think you're actually getting this.

[Marisha Ray]

I really needed it. I was feeling a little dicey there near the back half, but it's getting better. I feel good. We've got one more game.

[Matthew Mercer]

Let's make it happen.

[Marisha Ray]

And nothing will make them seem as foolish as this. We are going to have to make a move soon.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes, I agree. Maybe we can.

[Marisha Ray]

Audience. Do you love a dance off?

[Ashley Johnson]

I see.

[Marisha Ray]

Do you love a dancer?

[Ashley Johnson]

Hey.

[Marisha Ray]

Marty, tell him how it goes.

[Matthew Mercer]

I would like Each team to choose two dancers.

[Marisha Ray]

What?

[Ashley Johnson]

I think you two should take it.

[Marisha Ray]

I'm down.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

All right, who's the other one? You all look.

[Ashley Johnson]

Two dancers.

[Matthew Mercer]

Two dancers on your.

[Liam O'Brien]

I only know the waltz.

[Ashley Johnson]

Who's so charismatic. You're definitely a real tourist. I've seen you dance.

[Liam O'Brien]

Two of us.

[Ashley Johnson]

So many shots.

[Marisha Ray]

So you know, this will be a 1v1 dance off each dancer.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Yeah, you're definitely doing it. Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Each dancer will be surprised with their music track and have 15 seconds to bust a moon. Each dancer will have two 15 second spotlights to show us what they got. And audience applause will determine the winner of the round.

[Ashley Johnson]

They want us to die. They're going to kill us. We're going to team up.

[Matthew Mercer]

And who are you?

[Marisha Ray]

Dancers?

[Matthew Mercer]

Blue team.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

Roll a charisma. Check.

[Ashley Johnson]

Guidance. Guidance.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Guidance.

[Ashley Johnson]

Guidance. Guidance. Grog. D4.

[Liam O'Brien]

D4.

[Laura Bailey]

D4 plus D4.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, it'll make a difference in you going first then.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah. Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

You're fine.

[Laura Bailey]

Grand 16.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right.

[Matthew Mercer]

Second dancer on this side.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, okay. Guidance who's doing it? And I'm gonna cast guidance to myself.

[Matthew Mercer]

Sure, fine. Go for it.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right, so let's see here.

[Laura Bailey]

Why the fuck not?

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, wait, what are we. What are we rolling again?

[Liam O'Brien]

I've got a plus one. Should be dripping in that. What do you got? You are dance.

[Marisha Ray]

I can for dance.

[Laura Bailey]

Need more of this water.

[Liam O'Brien]

You want to dance? No, I'm fine either way.

[Marisha Ray]

You dance.

[Laura Bailey]

Go for it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I did read that right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Marisha Ray]

Yeah, you got this. All right.

[Matthew Mercer]

Fern.

[Ashley Johnson]

28.

[Liam O'Brien]

Hardly matter at that point anyway.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Marisha Ray]

12.

[Matthew Mercer]

The First Dance off is between Grog and Beauregard. Please come to the front.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's go. Let's go, Grog. Come on. You got this. Hang on a minute, Hang on, hang on.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

This is tough though. Oh, good.

[Marisha Ray]

That's right.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Real quick, real quick. Before we start, I just, honestly, I just want to show a little bit of appreciation. Okay. I just want to like.

[Marisha Ray]

Yeah, you know. Uh huh.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Can I extract aspects from the MC with my little playful punches? Just. You're fucking crushing it, man.

[Matthew Mercer]

I'll allow it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Extract aspects. Can I know his vulnerabilities? I get to pick four things, right?

[Matthew Mercer]

Well, you learn that he is immune to charm.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Immune to charm.

[Matthew Mercer]

Paralyzed.

[Ashley Johnson]

Paralyze.

[Matthew Mercer]

Let me see what this guy. Charm. Paralyzed and frightened. No resistances, no vulnerability.

[Ashley Johnson]

Sorry.

[Matthew Mercer]

And you also get the sense that there is a very powerful well of dark arcana within this entity.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Guys, this guy's super Fucked up. He's super fucked up. He's covered.

[Matthew Mercer]

He's got darkness.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay. It's good to know. Do you want. Do you want a B Boy hat?

[Ashley Johnson]

Rob.

[Liam O'Brien]

Let'S go, Strongja. Put all that junk in that trunk.

[Marisha Ray]

To use Two rounds and pop that thing. That's right. Throw your pride to the side and shake it like your mama gave it to you.

[Laura Bailey]

Rob, who's going first?

[Matthew Mercer]

Grog's up for the first 15 seconds, Bo for the second, Grog for the third, and Bo for the fourth. When we're done, we'll ask the audience which side they come like dancing in front of.

[Ashley Johnson]

Fucking a bunch of thousands. Yeah, right.

[Laura Bailey]

Let's go, Chicago.

[Marisha Ray]

That's right, Chicago. Give it up for the CEO.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's go. Let's go.

[Marisha Ray]

Three.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Let's go.

[Matthew Mercer]

Two.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come on, bitch.

[Marisha Ray]

One dance.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh. Oh, this is great.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes. Yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Running Man. Hell yes. Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Break Bar.

[Marisha Ray]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Wow. There we go. Solid. Solid.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Pretty good.

[Matthew Mercer]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

Whoa. She's going for the.

[Marisha Ray]

Was that Prague?

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh. Oh. Wow.

[Laura Bailey]

Grog.

[Marisha Ray]

Yay. Mo. A little louder.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yeah. Couldn't hear it.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, he's falling apart. He's just.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh.

[Matthew Mercer]

Beauregard.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You didn't tell me that he could do that. That he could do that.

[Ashley Johnson]

I didn't think he would bust it. Out. Out. I really did it. Oh.

[Marisha Ray]

Whoa.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, man.

[Liam O'Brien]

It has been a while since we have seen Tracy make an appearance suddenly. I understand what you're saying.

[Marisha Ray]

All right, you two take a bow together. Yes. You're going to cheer for each of them. And Murty will be the judge. Who thinks Grog was the winner.

[Ashley Johnson]

Terrible.

[Marisha Ray]

Enough. It's out of character, but it feels bad yelling at you. Who thinks Bo was the winner? Murty. This is going to be a tough one. And I'm sure you've got no vested interest in who wins this or not.

[Matthew Mercer]

Not at all. But what is this if not for raising the stakes, right? So I'm going to say, in this regard, it's a tie.

[Marisha Ray]

Hey.

[Matthew Mercer]

Which means whoever dances next is the one that decides the losing team.

[Marisha Ray]

Be gone. You're both too good.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Hide my mic.

[Matthew Mercer]

So.

[Ashley Johnson]

You guys are so talented.

[Matthew Mercer]

Hurrah. The pieces.

[Ashley Johnson]

Really good.

[Marisha Ray]

I like this. Blood King's life.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

When I stripped and exploited myself. Thank you.

[Marisha Ray]

All we know about you is that you're a pirate.

[Laura Bailey]

I think one of my vertebrae moved.

[Matthew Mercer]

Fern, get on stage.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, really?

[Matthew Mercer]

So because it's now tied, your friends left it all on the table. The two of you are going to decide which team Wins and Which team loses? 15 seconds each.

[Marisha Ray]

I like it. I like it.

[Matthew Mercer]

We're gonna start Hawks.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, shit. This is so embarrassing. Really? Really.

[Matthew Mercer]

We're gonna start with Kingsley this time.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

15 seconds, Kingsley. 15 seconds, Fern. 15. Kingsley. 15. Fern. Are you ready?

[Ashley Johnson]

I cast Thomet.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, cat.

[Ashley Johnson]

Little dicks, like floating all around Kingsley. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like fireworks.

[Marisha Ray]

Let the dance off begin.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes.

[Marisha Ray]

Soul stirring.

[Liam O'Brien]

I surround firm in dancing lights.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Flash dance.

[Marisha Ray]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

I can do the worm, too.

[Marisha Ray]

I can feel their power.

[Ashley Johnson]

I can do the worm, too. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

[Marisha Ray]

Round two.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, come on.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Hard here.

[Marisha Ray]

I don't hear this.

[Matthew Mercer]

Like, hard to hear.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes. Oh, I didn't even.

[Marisha Ray]

That's my first mosh pin.

[Ashley Johnson]

I time. I was afraid I was going to die.

[Matthew Mercer]

All right, dancers to the front, please.

[Liam O'Brien]

Whatever.

[Marisha Ray]

Circus Vargas. Everyone to the front. Because you all danced. Center stage, please. This is the big moment before intermission, I promise. Hands up. Exhausted. Big bow to all the dancers, please. Your applause again.

[Ashley Johnson]

Ah.

[Marisha Ray]

Bow. Yes. Yes. That's right.

[Ashley Johnson]

What is happening?

[Marisha Ray]

No fucking clue, please. Give it up. If you thought the red team won.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let'S die.

[Marisha Ray]

Let's hear it for blue.

[Matthew Mercer]

Boss. I think we gotta give it to the blue team.

[Marisha Ray]

Pretty clear. If you'd be so kind as to take your seats. May I ask a question?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I saw that. You back corner. I saw that.

[Marisha Ray]

Is this dd? Dd Dungeons and Dancing.

[Ashley Johnson]

Dungeons and dancing. That was dumb.

[Marisha Ray]

Merty. For the final time this evening, tell them what they like, lost.

[Matthew Mercer]

Ah, Red team. A good try, a good attempt, but unfortunately.

[Ashley Johnson]

Does your mama love you? Great question.

[Marisha Ray]

Mrs. Contreras is a wonderful woman.

[Liam O'Brien]

If she let you come out with that top hat, she can't love you that much. I cast vicious mockery. Mother.

[Matthew Mercer]

Make save on that, please.

[Marisha Ray]

You want me to what?

[Matthew Mercer]

To roll a dice and make a wisdom saving throw.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, I want to watch this face.

[Marisha Ray]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't sound like mty. Who the are you?

[Matthew Mercer]

I'm a fan force beyond any moving count.

[Marisha Ray]

What's an 11 mean?

[Matthew Mercer]

11 means you fail. Go ahead and mark that damage.

[Marisha Ray]

That's. Where is it?

[Matthew Mercer]

The very back.

[Liam O'Brien]

It's not a lot, but it's.

[Marisha Ray]

What does it do?

[Liam O'Brien]

There's one action it's trying to see.

[Ashley Johnson]

You know our spells.

[Matthew Mercer]

See, this is D and D. Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

It doesn't actually say on my sheet right now.

[Matthew Mercer]

It doesn't say on my sheet. That's all right. Roll 3D4 for me.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, thank you.

[Liam O'Brien]

There we are.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's hot. That's all the dancing.

[Liam O'Brien]

That's not right.

[Marisha Ray]

Hold on.

[Liam O'Brien]

Where's 3D4? Sorry. Yeah.

[Matthew Mercer]

There we are. I found them.

[Liam O'Brien]

They're hiding in here. These are not my normal dice. This is us. Six.

[Matthew Mercer]

Six points of psychic damage to Malvolio Contreras. And you feel somewhat dismayed.

[Marisha Ray]

Just a little twinge in the side of my head. Nothing to worry about. The space is still mine. And I throw out my hand and the studio feels like it's shrinking, getting smaller. The stage lights are getting dimmer. I throw out the other hand and you feel the heat of the park hands land on your face. And you think, this isn't right. This isn't what a show feels like. This isn't fun. I didn't just pop balloons with my ass and dance in front of 6,000 strangers.

[Matthew Mercer]

No.

[Marisha Ray]

What they feel inside instead are the burns at the soles of their feet and the slashes to their body and the twisting pain in their psyche. And I feel your applause all night long. And it fills me with power and rage. You think that's going to work now? You already gave me too much baby Murdy. Throw the fucking commercial.

[Matthew Mercer]

Both teams suddenly are enveloped in a flash of black flame and find yourselves shunted to a nearby green room to think and talks amongst yourselves and will return after intermission.

[Ashley Johnson]

What? Oh.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh.

[Liam O'Brien]

That's a wrap for part one of this podcast episode. Part two will land here this upcoming Tuesday at 5am Pacific, and we'll pick up this story right where we left off. Until next time, and we'll be back in this adventure before you know it.