Wilde Out | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 3 Part 1

Summary

Critical Role Podcast Summary

Episode: Wilde Out | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 3 Part 1
Release Date: April 24, 2025
Host: Critical Role
Description: Critical Role features a group of talented voice actors embarking on thrilling tabletop role-playing adventures. In this episode, the Wildemount Wildlings continue their quest at the premier camp for aspiring adventurers, facing supernatural threats and complex challenges.

Introduction to the Adventure

Timestamp: [10:24]
The episode commences with game master Sam Riegel setting the stage for Episode 3 of the Wildemount Wildlings miniseries. The adventurers, members of the Olga cabin, are striving to earn merit badges at their camp when a sudden disaster strikes. Guest counselors Yasha and Bo are abducted by a mysterious porcine beast, prompting the group to embark on a perilous rescue mission.

The Collapse and Descent into Darkness

Timestamp: [10:24] - [17:00]
As the episode unfolds, Jessop and Kai, two of the adventurers, are incapacitated by a sonic scream, causing them to collapse and turn an ominous shade of blue. Sam narrates their dire situation:

Sam Riegel: "Jessop, you have collapsed to the floor, your skin now somehow turning a third shade of blue... Kai, you fall beside her, lifeless, unmoving."
[10:24]

The remaining members, Cadmund and Sky, find themselves plunged into a dark tunnel beneath the camp as the trapdoor seals above them. Their immediate concern is survival, leading to a series of death saving throws to determine their fate. Ashley Johnson's character, Padme, makes a sacrificial move by lighting her manuscript on fire to illuminate their surroundings, revealing potions that offer healing.

Ashley Johnson: "What's the point in making a game about heroism and acts of incredible sorcery if you're not willing to do it in real life."
[16:12]

Despite the challenges, the team manages to stabilize Jessop and Kai using the potions, though Padme's manuscript burns in the process. The camaraderie and emotional support among the characters highlight their deep bonds.

Exploring the Mysterious Tunnel

Timestamp: [17:00] - [24:48]
Guided by Ashley's resourcefulness, the group descends deeper into the tunnel, encountering two identical wooden doors marked "WW" and "DW." After deliberation and a unanimous vote, they decide to open the "DW" door, only to confront a nightmarish dimension filled with shadowy apparitions and a monstrous creature consuming sanity.

Matthew Mercer: "Maybe it's nighttime."
[27:07]

Realizing the peril, the team retreats and opts to explore the other door, leading them to a seemingly mundane waiting room reminiscent of a dentist's office. Here, they encounter two peculiar characters resembling a palm tree and a coconut, engaged in an argument over who is next in line to see "Walk."

Ashley Johnson: "Do we have what we say, like 20 minutes?"
[23:32]

Their investigation reveals that the waiting room is an illusionary pocket dimension, unstable and deceptive. To navigate this space, Taliesin Jaffe's character employs stealth and minor illusion spells to distract the occupants, allowing the team to progress further into the building.

The Confrontation with the Pan Man

Timestamp: [31:39] - [43:35]
As the adventurers advance, they uncover crucial clues about "Walk," including a diploma and a photograph depicting a sentient frying pan wearing a graduation cap. This discovery sets the stage for the climactic encounter.

Matthew Mercer: "We need to kill everybody in here."
[32:30]

The team devises a plan to blend in and confront the antagonists, culminating in an intense battle within a colossal cooktop inferno. The Pan Man, a formidable iron-clad creature wielding culinary utensils as weapons, oversees the frying of Gub the Flying Pig. The arrival of Beau and Yasha further complicates the conflict, leading to a heated showdown.

Sam Riegel: "Ah, the campers. Here to whisk everything for a merit badge. Well, no worries. I'll make this over easy."
[43:37]

The episode concludes with the adventurers preparing to engage the Pan Man and his minions, setting the stage for the next installment of their adventure.

Notable Quotes

• Ashley Johnson: "What's the point in making a game about heroism and acts of incredible sorcery if you're not willing to do it in real life."
  [16:12]

• Matthew Mercer: "Maybe it's nighttime."
  [27:07]

• Sam Riegel: "Ah, the campers. Here to whisk everything for a merit badge. Well, no worries. I'll make this over easy."
  [43:37]

Conclusion

This episode of Wildemount Wildlings showcases the group's resilience and teamwork as they navigate through illusionary traps and confront formidable foes. The blend of humor, strategy, and emotional depth exemplifies Critical Role's hallmark storytelling, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the continuation of this thrilling adventure.

---

Note: Timestamps correspond to key moments within the episode to provide context and enhance the narrative flow for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Travis Willingham]

Hey there Critter Podcast listeners. We have a special new membership service at Beacon TV where you can get early access to all new podcast episodes including Critical Role. For the first time ever. Beacon members also get things like live event pre sales merch discounts, access to a private community discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown. Think of it as our digital Critical role land. Head on over to Beacon TV to check it out for yourself and start a seven day free trial. Thank you so much for your support for being a podcast listener and for being a part of our community.

[Laura Bailey]

Hey there Critters. We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the World of Exandria. The Re Slayer's Take in this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Issylra, home to some of the most dangerous dangerous creatures. Here the Slayer's take as the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and re slay these supernatural threats as the reslayers take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux and Jasmine Shion. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early and uninterrupted by ads.

[Sam Riegel]

Hey there campers, it's game Master Sam Riegel and welcome to our new miniseries Wildemount Wildlings. In this three part adventure, we're making our way to Exandria's premier leapaway camp for aspiring adventurers and following the antics of four angsty teen campers and their camp counselors, Beauregard Lionette and Yasha Nidorin. New episodes of Wildemount Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6pm Pacific on Beacon, Twitch and YouTube, with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following Mondays at noon. Prefer your adventures in audio form? Well, the podcast version arrives here on the Critical Role Podcast Network with a one week delay from the original broadcast. You're listening to part one of this episode right now and Part two will be available this upcoming Tuesday. If you want instant access to podcast content and an ad free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6pm Pacific on Thursdays. Plus you can also Check out our Beacon exclusive show critical role cooldown and experience the cast's post show reactions to each episode. Well, that should cover it. Now let's wild out and get this adventure started. Welcome back, campers. It's me, Sam Riegel. I'm joined once again by Alex Lee Eden Regal Liebe Barrera Brennan Lee Mulligan. Horrifying.

[Ashley Johnson]

No, it's good.

[Sam Riegel]

This is episode three of the Wild Mount Wildlings. But before we get into tonight's story, some quick camp announcements to get through. So let's throw it to Ashley and Marisha somewhere else in the camp. Ladies.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh my God.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

Oh, my God. Okay, well, Wild Mount Wildlings is coming to an end today. Thank God. Our final episode. It's right now. It's happening right now. Camp friends are for life, I guess. On Monday, April 28, Sam will be joining Beacon members for a fireside chat and taking questions live from the Beacon discord. So come join the adventure over on Beacon tv and reminder that next Thursday is the premiere of our two part underwater epic. Thresher Thrasher is the name of it. You won't want to miss this thrilling miniseries. Ashley, I believe you have some merch to show off.

[Marisha Ray]

Oh, I do. Just you wait. It's so neat.

[Liam O'Brien]

Here it is.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

I can't wait to see it. What is it?

[Sam Riegel]

Yes. Look at that.

[Marisha Ray]

We have a stunning and deeply powerful new addition to our shops. The critical role 10 year anniversary tarot deck. Consult the universe using this gorgeous tarot deck celebrating 10 years of critical Role. Featuring beautiful depictions of characters from all three campaigns. Search for answers to long and short term decisions. With 22 full color character illustrations for the major Arcana 16 tone. These are actually.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

Look at this.

[Sam Riegel]

So beautiful.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

Look at these color blocks.

[Marisha Ray]

These have been in development for such a very long time. They really have 16 total character illustrations for the minor Arcana court cards and 40 custom designed pip cards for each suit. This mystical deck includes a 70 page booklet with an introduction by our very own Taliesin Jaffe.

[Sam Riegel]

Taliesin Jaffe.

[Marisha Ray]

A guide for how to read the deck and written descriptions for each card. This divine item owes its creation to creative directors Matthew Gilbert. Matthew Gilbert and Taliesin Jaffe, Illustrators James Fenner and Snow Conrad. And graphic design by Matt Paquette and co. Get yours today at all Critical Role shops. Okay, Sam, now let us come back to the table.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

Please, please, please.

[Sam Riegel]

Why, thank you, Councilor Ray and Councilor Johnson. And with all of that, I think we're ready to dive into tonight's episode of a critical role. Okay, I'm just gonna lightning round this. All right? If someone finds a magical potion kestrel, what does it do?

[Liam O'Brien]

It turns them into a baby unicorn.

[Sam Riegel]

A baby unicorn, Great. If someone finds a special weapon. Greta, what kind of weapon is it?

[Liam O'Brien]

A mirror.

[Sam Riegel]

A mirror, right. No, we don't ask why. We just go with give them self.

[Liam O'Brien]

Guilt, make them self conscious.

[Sam Riegel]

But you're not fighting yourself. But aren't we all? Marlo, we're going to encounter two guards. Who are they?

[Liam O'Brien]

He's a palm tree.

[Sam Riegel]

He's a palm tree. That's one of the guards, Marlo. His partner.

[Liam O'Brien]

The palm tree's guard partner is a giant coconut.

[Sam Riegel]

Is it coconut? Okay, Penny, do they like each other or hate each other?

[Liam O'Brien]

Ooh, I'm gonna say they hate each other.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay, do they have names? Ronan?

[Liam O'Brien]

I think the coconut is gonna be named Coco.

[Sam Riegel]

Uh huh, sure. That makes sense.

[Liam O'Brien]

Palmtree is gonna be the hand of palms.

[Sam Riegel]

The hand of palms.

[Liam O'Brien]

Because palm trees are palms.

[Sam Riegel]

I love them. I love them. Does anyone have any ideas that they really wanted to get out that they didn't get a chance to.

[Liam O'Brien]

Maximus, I have a potion idea.

[Sam Riegel]

Sure, what's that?

[Liam O'Brien]

So when you drink the potion, you suddenly become freakishly handsome, and you get freakishly handsome and you get a very high add it to your charisma.

[Sam Riegel]

I love it. So it's a potion of handsomeness or beauty.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, I'm almost. Yes, I am done.

[Sam Riegel]

What do you have, sir?

[Liam O'Brien]

So his name is Dark World, and the area that you fight him in is a dimension of darkness.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes.

[Liam O'Brien]

Where everything is everything alive is like, moving, but it's only shadow.

[Sam Riegel]

I love darkness.

[Liam O'Brien]

He turns anything that comes into that dimension, he'll try to turn them into like shadow. Guys, I love it. It's amazing.

[Sam Riegel]

All right, the last thing I need on this list is I need the final boss. Max, did you have something?

[Liam O'Brien]

So this is my main idea. So it's a pan, right?

[Sam Riegel]

It's a pan.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah. And it has two utensils. It has a fork and a spatula. Okay. And with the spatula, it can like, do a broader attack where it can hit multiple. And the fork is just more powerful. It can stab at one piercing damage.

[Sam Riegel]

How big are you imagining this thing to be?

[Liam O'Brien]

I think maybe 20ft tall or something.

[Sam Riegel]

Geez Louise.

[Liam O'Brien]

Maybe 15.

[Sam Riegel]

I like it. But if we're fighting this pan monster, what might the battlefield look like? What do you got, Alan?

[Liam O'Brien]

An oven or a griddle.

[Sam Riegel]

So like a gigantic oven where everyone's sort of On. Yeah.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Or a griddle.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. Oven. Yes.

[Liam O'Brien]

How would you get this there?

[Sam Riegel]

Does it have a name? Like, is it a person? Does it have a name for itself?

[Liam O'Brien]

Isn't a pot called Walk?

[Sam Riegel]

There are. Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

I was thinking maybe for a name it could be Walk.

[Sam Riegel]

Walk. I love it. Everybody, thank you so much. Kestrel, Greta, Maximus, Alan, Marlo, Penny, Ronan, thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it. And you'll see all your ideas in the show. Woohoo. We're done. Yay.

[Liam O'Brien]

I am not done.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. See you.

[Liam O'Brien]

Wild Mount Wildlife at Wildlab. Wildlings, we learn Adventuring wizards and war lost Rangers and scouts in fields and rivers. We go exploring and when it's we wild out we are the wildlings yes, the Wildlings Getting in trouble every day.

[Sam Riegel]

No, we're not travelings. We are the wildlings and we don't.

[Liam O'Brien]

Give up what you say Wild out.

[Sam Riegel]

And we're back. Hi.

[Matthew Mercer]

Hello.

[Sam Riegel]

Hi. While most of the Wildemount wildlings were off celebrating their ascension in rank, the four members of the Olga cabin were trying to earn some last minute merit badges. That is, until guest counselors Yasha and Bo were pig napped by a bizarre porcine behemoth. The Olgas banded together and tracked across the campgrounds, confronting a surreal and childlike assortment of challenges, negotiating with Mishi, the curfew creature, navigating a maze of yums, even fitting two friendly land sharks for hats. But now, disaster. Jessop and Kai have been knocked unconscious by a sonic scream, and the Olgas have dropped into a dark tunnel underneath the camp. Curfew is in one hour. Campers, you've gotten wild. But can you get out? Let's find out. Jessop, you have collapsed to the floor, your skin now somehow turning a third shade of blue, this one more pale and sickly, because you are dying. Kai, you fall beside her, lifeless, unmoving. Still very handsome.

[Ashley Johnson]

Is my tongue out somehow more handsome?

[Sam Riegel]

Yes. Your dagger falls from your limp hand. Cadmund and sky, you find yourself in this long, dark tunnel. Or at least that's how you remember it being. Because as the trapdoor shuts above you, you're plunged into pitch darkness. Can either of you see in the dark?

[Critical Role Cast]

I can't see a bloody thing.

[Ashley Johnson]

Wait, I have to consult my features.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I have.

[Critical Role Cast]

No, I. My friend, they've collapsed and I can't even think straight. I don't know what to do. What have I done? What have I done? I should have just. I should have used my strength. Why? Why did I use all those space.

[Sam Riegel]

Before you do anything? Both of you. Let's go ahead and roll a death saving throw. Roll a D20 and tell me what you get.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, 18.

[Sam Riegel]

18. That's a success. So mark off a success on your.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes, it was almost an 11, but it's a 9.

[Sam Riegel]

No. Okay, that is a fail. You failed one death save. Your body just sort of twitches. You're not dead. You're not dead.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Turned into a slightly paler blue.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes, it's a fourth shade of blue.

[Matthew Mercer]

I'm Moana in my sleep.

[Ashley Johnson]

I will look and see. I'll look at sky and go. Do you have any torches or candles?

[Critical Role Cast]

I didn't pack any, but I do have grace.

[Sam Riegel]

You're very useful.

[Critical Role Cast]

Aye, aye. I wait. I can cast grease. Do you have any kind of a flint? And then we can make light.

[Ashley Johnson]

I am going to do.

[Sam Riegel]

You do not have darkvision.

[Ashley Johnson]

I do not have dark vision.

[Matthew Mercer]

There's only one person here who does.

[Ashley Johnson]

I am going to take out. I'm going to. We don't have a torch. I can use press agitation to light a light source.

[Sam Riegel]

You sure can.

[Ashley Johnson]

But it can't produce light on its own. So I reach in my bag and take my entire work of my card game? No, my manuscript. We got a stable. And I'm gonna light my manuscript on fire to make enough light for us to get potions to these two.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Wow, that was beautiful.

[Sam Riegel]

The firelight flickers dimly, but it is definitely enough light to see. I don't remember who has which potion, but there are two potions floating out there somewhere.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes, we have them right here. We have potion of healing and Potion of Greater Healing.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Of greater healing.

[Critical Role Cast]

Okay, so do we want to save one or do we use them all?

[Ashley Johnson]

I think we gotta use them all. I don't think. Can we do doses? Can we do sips? Can we do little sippies?

[Sam Riegel]

No, I don't think that.

[Ashley Johnson]

Down the hash. Bottoms up.

[Sam Riegel]

But the moment of hesitation has come and gone. Roll. Another death saving throws a nat one.

[Ashley Johnson]

A kid's gonna die on stream.

[Sam Riegel]

Oh God, I hope that doesn't happen.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's a seven. Another one.

[Liam O'Brien]

What the hell?

[Sam Riegel]

I got an eight. Okay, two fails, one fail over here.

[Ashley Johnson]

Down the half. I'm gonna go for Jessup and just do the greater healing because you've got the two failed death saves.

[Sam Riegel]

Go for it. Greater healing. What do you roll? 44.

[Ashley Johnson]

44 plus 4.

[Sam Riegel]

Plus 4. So I'll let you do it. Jessup. Roll that pyramid shaped dice four times and add them all up. Cause that's how Much healing you're gonna get. Okay, three.

[Critical Role Cast]

That's good.

[Sam Riegel]

One.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Two.

[Sam Riegel]

That's good.

[Ashley Johnson]

Already six.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

One.

[Ashley Johnson]

Seven plus four is 11.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yep.

[Sam Riegel]

Yeah, but what's your maximum hit points?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Seven.

[Sam Riegel]

So you're back to seven.

[Ashley Johnson]

You're fully healed.

[Critical Role Cast]

I'm fully healed.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm back.

[Sam Riegel]

I'm back. And a syrupy, sickly sweet potion is poured down your throat. Go ahead and roll. What is this? 2D4.

[Ashley Johnson]

2D4 plus 2.

[Sam Riegel]

So that's the pyramid.

[Matthew Mercer]

Pyramid. Okay, when.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

4.

[Ashley Johnson]

4.

[Sam Riegel]

Oh, that's it.

[Critical Role Cast]

Just 5 plus 2?

[Sam Riegel]

7. That's 7. So you're back up to 7.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, okay.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. You're both alive. Come back to life. Oh, thank God. Wow.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

My skin is still that second blue.

[Matthew Mercer]

What's that smell? Something's burning.

[Ashley Johnson]

I had to be able to find the potions of healing in our inventories. I burnt mysterium.

[Sam Riegel]

No.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm so. I'm so moved. Padman. Thank you so much.

[Sam Riegel]

How is that?

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, what's the point in making a game about heroism and acts of incredible sorcery if you're not willing to do it in real life? Also, I've kind of been considering a page one rewrite. There's some rules changes.

[Matthew Mercer]

Hey, it's okay. We can draw the art from scratch too.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, it's actually kind of fun. Cause I actually kind of like making it more than having it be finished.

[Critical Role Cast]

I still think you made the ultimate sacrifice for your friends. And I admire you for it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Thank you, Padmin.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's an honor to wild out with you guys.

[Matthew Mercer]

Padman, you're a goddamn hero.

[Ashley Johnson]

Stop it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm crying even darker blue tears.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, everyone's crying. Please stop. This outpouring of emotion is more than I could possibly process.

[Sam Riegel]

Also, you guys notice that the clump of papers and manuscript, it's starting to burn down. This is not a torch. It's gonna burn out pretty soon.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I have a light spell.

[Sam Riegel]

Oh, I.

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes, she does have a hooded lantern.

[Sam Riegel]

Both are good. Would you like to use your light spell or are you going to rely on the lantern? Up to you.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's a cantrip, so I can use it as much as I want.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes, you can double the light source, right? Are you stressed out right now or are you back to normal?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You think? I think that this new life has given me a wave of confidence.

[Sam Riegel]

Right. So you can cast light. I believe the light spell, it's sort of like an ET Spell. You can put a source of light wherever you want on a fingertip, on A nose tip. Tip on a piece of gear that you're holding. Where does the light emanate from?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm gonna have it come out of my good old monocle like a flashlight.

[Sam Riegel]

Coming out of your face. Awesome. Okay, between the eye flashlight and the hooded lantern, you can see plenty down here. The four of you are up again. A team reunited. And a long winding tunnel stretches before you. You notice its walls are cracked, covered in a yellow skin like paper that reminds you of old people's living rooms. And that faint sound of sizzling bacon. In the far distance, the hallway stretches ahead of you just in one direction. Would you like to go down? Are you going to flee? What are you going to do?

[Matthew Mercer]

Well, we've come this far, might as well, right?

[Critical Role Cast]

I agree. Further in, you've just seen death, so I trust you even more.

[Matthew Mercer]

I don't know what I saw. It was very confusing, but I'm glad I'm not there anymore.

[Sam Riegel]

As you step down the hallway and start, you notice some things are crunching under your feet. There's some wood, but also pieces of broken glass. And a mess is beneath your feet. Why don't you guys make a perception check to see what is scattered around the trash down here?

[Ashley Johnson]

Natural one.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

A five.

[Critical Role Cast]

Nat 20, baby.

[Sam Riegel]

Whoa. 18 padmind. You got a little glass in your foot, so you're sort of distracted by that.

[Ashley Johnson]

I have one hit point, so I'm.

[Sam Riegel]

It doesn't cause any damage. It's just like, ow.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yowch. I tell ya, I sort of tend to respectfully bow out of most physical activities at the. Okay, so today has been a Whopper.

[Sam Riegel]

Liebe. When did you roll again?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

18.

[Sam Riegel]

18. Okay, so the two of you, sky and Jessop, you notice a few things on the ground. It's various vials and potions have been strewn about, mostly broken. They probably fell down when whatever it was that sort of tore through the enchant shed barrel down here, most of it is broken, but if you pick through some of the items down there, you realize that there are some intact items down here. You find various things. Because you rolled so high, you get that. And because you rolled so high, you get this. You also get Fuck it. You get all these.

[Ashley Johnson]

I love when Adeno says fuck it. Absolutely love a fuck it.

[Matthew Mercer]

From behind the scenes, I look over, I'm like, what did you just get?

[Sam Riegel]

What is that?

[Critical Role Cast]

I got the potion of Riz.

[Matthew Mercer]

The potion of what?

[Critical Role Cast]

You don't need it. You've got enough.

[Matthew Mercer]

The potion of Riz, it gives you.

[Critical Role Cast]

Plus 5 to all charisma checks for one whole.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's hilarious.

[Critical Role Cast]

And I got a potion of greater healing.

[Ashley Johnson]

You should probably.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Should I read these? You probably what?

[Matthew Mercer]

They're labeled because we should probably give that greater healing potion to Padmen there.

[Critical Role Cast]

It seems like he might need it.

[Matthew Mercer]

He might need it. If there's one thing I've learned from our previous misadventure is that if you have a healing potion, drink it immediately.

[Critical Role Cast]

Drink it right away. He did.

[Matthew Mercer]

Do not hesitate.

[Critical Role Cast]

Did you mention it to me?

[Sam Riegel]

My blood is pouring down Padme's face right now.

[Ashley Johnson]

Given a choice, I'd actually quite like to sample the potion of Charisma. But I will take a healing potion if that is what's being offered.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Listen, I have a second one. So we could give one of them to him.

[Ashley Johnson]

Another potion of Charisma?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, unfortunately not.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, understood.

[Critical Role Cast]

Well, would the potion of Charisma make the potion of healing stronger, perhaps?

[Ashley Johnson]

I would have to assume so. And I don't say that just because I really want it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We could give him either of those. Or.

[Matthew Mercer]

I mean, when are we gonna need it? Just drink all the potions.

[Sam Riegel]

What's that?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Libra potion of baby unicorn. This potion will turn you into a. A baby unicorn for one minute. So if you did, we want to try that one out instead.

[Matthew Mercer]

Maybe we should hold on to that one. Maybe that will come in handy.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, you're right.

[Critical Role Cast]

That seems like we might need to be lazy.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I just got excited by that.

[Critical Role Cast]

I'd be aghast to turn you into a unicorn for a second.

[Matthew Mercer]

That would be very funny. Padme. Drink this potion which.

[Ashley Johnson]

What?

[Critical Role Cast]

I'd like to give this to you.

[Matthew Mercer]

Perfect.

[Critical Role Cast]

Especially because of the great sacrifice you made for all of us.

[Ashley Johnson]

You're very kind. Well, I gladly accept because my head is profusely bleeding. 4. 3. I'm back. No need to keep rolling. I get, like, halfway through, and I'm like, oh, I'm healed already. I am not tough under the best of circumstances.

[Sam Riegel]

Great. Feeling better, I take it you guys walk down this long, winding hallway. As you walk down the hallway, you. There's no light other than the light source that you are providing. But it is sort of getting warmer as you go deeper and deeper and deeper into the hall. It's not, like, brutal. It's just hot. It's a little bit hot and muggy. Finally, at the end of this long hallway, you come to two identical doors. Both doors are plain wooden doors. One. Oh. On the large side of doors. They're both painted white, and they have Tiny, small signs on them that read WW&DW. What door would you like to try?

[Matthew Mercer]

Don't worry. And where we worry, I'm kind of leaning towards don't worry here, guys. But I don't know about you, but.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Are we sure that's what they mean?

[Matthew Mercer]

Where we were, we.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do we have what we say, like 20 minutes?

[Sam Riegel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Mercer]

I mean, there's an hour till curfew, so it would be burning through a lot of time.

[Ashley Johnson]

It would be burning through a lot of time. But I could try to identify the doors or cast. Comprehend languages to see what these acronyms.

[Matthew Mercer]

I was just gonna say, I think you should bring Archibald back and send him through one of the doors.

[Ashley Johnson]

Now that's a fascinating idea. If we have. I mean, we have an hour left, so maybe burning a quick 30 minutes to cast an uttermost world is the.

[Matthew Mercer]

Worst thing in the world for me personally. We've been through a lot. I think we deserve a little 30 minute break here.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We could just try one of the doors. I entered this adventure very scared of everything. But given my brush with death and watching him bleed from his head that much, I think it might be more complex.

[Matthew Mercer]

Had the opposite effect on me. I'm horrified.

[Sam Riegel]

That's character growth and character shrink. Shrinkage.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'll say. If we feel that time is of the essence, then perhaps we simply press on. If one of these doors is certain doom and the other one is the path we seek, then it's an even coin flip that we get it right and we find the path we seek and not have wasted a half hour.

[Matthew Mercer]

Well, I've cast my vote on which door. I'll leave it up to you three.

[Ashley Johnson]

Which one do you want? You want. Don't worry.

[Matthew Mercer]

Don't worry.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, great.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Given that I have no other clues to go off of, I'm compelled to agree.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, fantastic. Two votes for don't worry.

[Critical Role Cast]

It was too traumatizing to see two of my friends briefly die. And I feel that we should do a little reconnaissance of some kind before going through doors. Can we possibly, possibly touch the doors and see if one of them's hot? I was taught that in our life saving class. You know, you should touch the doors to see if there's fire on the other side.

[Sam Riegel]

Sure, go ahead, Roll a perception check to see how your hands feel. Sixteen. Sixteen's great. Yeah. Neither door is hot, per se. Like I said, it's. It's not sweltering down here. It's just sort of warm. But there is one of the doors. The DW door has a little bit of a hum to it. It's my mom. Our mom. My favorite. I love it.

[Critical Role Cast]

A slight humor, slight helm behind dw.

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, we have two votes for dw. We have one vote for additional reconnaissance. In my heart of hearts, Sky, I agree with you, and I think I should be allowed to cast spells for 30 minutes to try to entertain. But if I vote with. If I vote with you, then we were at a tie, and that would create an impasse. So DW it is. And I'm gonna just reach an open dw.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. The door is not locked. And it opens. The door opens, revealing an endless dimension of rot and madness where shadow people writhe and hollow out their own eyes, whispering secrets that begin to twist your mind.

[Matthew Mercer]

This is kind of like what I saw just a couple minutes ago.

[Sam Riegel]

Faces locked in eternal screams float through the gloom, vanishing as if reality is ashamed of itself. Looming above is a monstrous creature, enormous, of necrotic limbs and viscera, its ghostly maw devouring sanity itself.

[Matthew Mercer]

Maybe it's nighttime.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna close the door.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That is actually not perfect.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's not the door we want. And I will be.

[Matthew Mercer]

Maybe it stood for do worry.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We don't consider that possibility.

[Critical Role Cast]

Maybe it was upside down and the other one stands for Mommy.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, absolutely I will. After this adventure convinced includes me pursuing vigorous legal action against this camp. Absolutely. I'll never be the same. Okay, WW I'm going to open the other door.

[Sam Riegel]

The other door, also unlocked. It opens to a cozy waiting room, like a dentist's office. There's a cute little sofa. There's some magazines, there's a pitcher of water. There's an attendant at a desk with a sign in sheet.

[Critical Role Cast]

Are you going to sit smash the attendant like you did the businessman?

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, an attendant is a helpful receptionist, whereas that businessman absolutely had it coming from the word go.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Also, context, environment.

[Sam Riegel]

Crazy, for sure. There are two creatures sitting in some of the chairs, waiting. One is a tall, skinny, the color of tree bark with wild green mop of hair that flops to the sides. Sort of looks like a palm tree. The other is a short, squat, darker gentleman covered with a thin layer of stringy fur. His shape sort of reminds you of a coconut, and they're just sitting around. The taller one says, oh, hey, you guys here to see Walk Walk us too. I'm next. The smaller gentleman says, what are you talking about, I'm next? I've been here longer. You. You lost your place in when you left. I had to use the bathroom. That doesn't count. They're arguing with each other. That's what's going on.

[Matthew Mercer]

We are Wak Wak's assistants, actually.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay.

[Matthew Mercer]

We are here on an internship and we need to go discuss important business with him before the time is up.

[Sam Riegel]

The attendant pipes up. She's an older goblin woman with a beehive haircut. She pipes up and says, excuse me, you're what? Wakwak's assistant?

[Matthew Mercer]

Yes. We are on an internship.

[Critical Role Cast]

We're all his assistants.

[Sam Riegel]

I'm his assistant. I'm here to. I'm his assistant.

[Critical Role Cast]

This is uncomfortable, though.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. Can I make an investigation check to see if this is an illusory as well?

[Sam Riegel]

Sure, go ahead and roll. For Investigation or Arcana 19. Yeah. So, I mean, yes. Everything you've seen today that you've peered at for a long time, it has this sort of faint warping effect on everything. It's not that it's 100% illusory, it's just. It seems to either not be of this dimension or not be of this particular piece of space time. It's almost like you're in some sort of strange pocket dimension that doesn't exist in the camp or exists in an ether space like the Upside Down.

[Ashley Johnson]

Does it feel like another. Does it feel like this other dimension has been fabricated? Or that this is a legitimate other realm like the Feywild or something like that?

[Sam Riegel]

There is. Because you rolled so high and because you're such a knowledgeable wizard, nothing today has really felt stable. Everything is in a state of flux. It springs forth. It fades away. Even when something feels solid, it's sort of moving a little bit. And this place is no different. This is not a permanent dimension, as far as you can tell, but it is an otherworldly place or space that has been at least temporarily constructed.

[Ashley Johnson]

Gotcha. I'll look at my friends and be like, you're Walkbox Assistant.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, no, you're not. Cause Walk's not real, and neither are you. And I simply can't be bothered. I simply. I can't be troubled. I can't be troubled with this. I can't hear any more about Walk Walk or who's late for a meeting or sonic screams. I can't hear about any of it. It's not real.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay, well then you're going to the bottom of the waiting list.

[Ashley Johnson]

Fantastic. All right. I will just try to peer around for. For any sign of Gub Gub.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay, great. Roll a different investigation check. Any of you guys want to do anything else in the meantime, is there a bathroom in there you can ask for? Sure. 19 again. 19 again. Okay.

[Critical Role Cast]

Do we know it was right there?

[Sam Riegel]

No. No. As you investigate around, there's not much in the room. It's a waiting room. You do sort of come across some of the magazines that are on the coffee table, including the Whitestone Whisperer, which is a scandalous gossip rag. You also come across Tusk Love Weekly, which is a spicy companion to the infamous romance novel Tusk Love, offering relationship advice and steamy fiction. You don't see any obvious signs or evidence of Gub Gub. However, you do smell that sort of bacony smell and a sizzling scent of bacon coming from the far door in the room. And it's pretty hot in here. That's your only connection that you can glean.

[Matthew Mercer]

I think we need to kill everybody in here.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Can I use my Boots of Elvenkind?

[Sam Riegel]

Yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

And I. To sneak away from the group and go toward the door to do some.

[Sam Riegel]

Sure. I mean, it's a waiting room that's not terribly big, so you'd be walking past other people. Is there something you want to do to distract or.

[Critical Role Cast]

You've mentioned this to me and I'm going to cast a minor illusion to distract everybody in the room. And it is going to be a small child who has looked up and all their teeth are bleeding as they fall in.

[Sam Riegel]

That's horrifying. Why don't you flip a coin to see if your strong meaty fingers can conjure this spell?

[Critical Role Cast]

It's heads.

[Sam Riegel]

You're amazing. This child, this image of a child floats to life in the middle of the room. And everyone's a bit taken aback by it. The two gentlemen sitting in the chairs. Boy, one of them, the taller gentleman who looks like a palm tree. This guy, he doesn't seem to. He can't be bothered. He just says, well, I'm not giving up my spot in line. And he just kind of sits there planting himself. This gentleman, the coconut looking gentleman, he gets up and goes over to the child and tries to give aid. Can I help you? This kid looks like he's in a lot of pain here. Maybe this kid should go in first. So he's distracted, but the palm tree guy is not. But you can feel free to try to sneak by.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think I can sneak by.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. Actually, you know what? Let me. Let me roll for the assistant here. She's sort of filing her nails. She looks down, she says, oh, gosh, that poor kid. She's not terribly bothered, but she's Also not watching your every move.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, so all these do is give me silence, but I'm still completely visible.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes, you are completely visible. Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Still advantage on a stealth check.

[Sam Riegel]

It is.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It is true.

[Matthew Mercer]

Guys, what if you're up arms. So it's the three of us standing arm by arm.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We're both very young. What if I.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's right.

[Sam Riegel]

You know what? Roll the perception check. Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

15 plus 17.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. The one thing that you notice about this room, as opposed to the hallway, is the furniture, the decor. It's very drab. It's very boring. I should say. Not drab. It's. It's boring. But the walls. The walls are painted blue. Maybe it's not the identical shade that you are, but it is a shade of blue.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

If only I hadn't changed that first time, I would have been the exact same color as the walls.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes, that's it.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm just looking at you and say, I believe in you. I think if you think you can sneak in there, I think you can. And if you don't, I'm gonna take my quarter staff and bash all these illusions apart. Cause they're not real people.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's what I was saying.

[Ashley Johnson]

Just absolutely smash them to hell.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yeah. Can I. Can I put them in my. Like I have a.

[Sam Riegel]

Put who in them?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

The three of them in my coat thing that I'm wearing. To like, to disguise them to bring my friends with me.

[Sam Riegel]

So you're going to try to wrap all of your friends since I'm the.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Only one that's the same color as the walls.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. Yeah. Like three children in a trench coat.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Like three children in a trench coat.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

But I'm tall enough.

[Matthew Mercer]

Before you do that, can I do a perception check to see if there's a picture around of this walk, was it?

[Sam Riegel]

Sure. You can look at the walls. Sure. Just roll a perception check.

[Matthew Mercer]

20.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. There's. It's a natural 20.

[Matthew Mercer]

It's a nat 20. And then plus perception is 22.

[Sam Riegel]

Incredible. You see on the wall there is a diploma that says walk, walk the pan man. And then.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Sam Riegel]

Walk. Walk the pan man.

[Critical Role Cast]

The pan man.

[Sam Riegel]

And next to it is a photograph of. Of a frying pan. A young looking frying pan wearing a graduation cap and holding a diploma in his hand.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, wow. Can any of you guys, do you want to stack up together to make a big adult and then cast an illusion spell to look like a pan? I got my disguise kit. We can put a mustache on there. Assuming that he's older now.

[Sam Riegel]

At this. At this point, the coconut man is a little bit confused that the kid is not talking to him or really moving at all. He's just sort of like, okay, kid, kid. I think this kid has a lot of problems because he's like. He's not moving or anything. He's not making a sound.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna look right at him and say, you're not experiencing these emotions. You are a figment. I refuse. This is like that time we got quartered at the corner at that. At that dance at the end of last summer and one of the counselors tried to explain astrology to me. I can't handle it. I'm losing it.

[Sam Riegel]

I'm getting heated. He turns to you and is like, I don't know what your problem is, man, but we're all in line here. All right, Just take your seat and wait.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna unbelieve you.

[Sam Riegel]

What do you. I. I gotta deal with this guy. He turns over to the assistant. The assistant. I don't like the way this guy is treating me. Okay, let's do it this time.

[Ashley Johnson]

And I'm gonna jump into the coat.

[Sam Riegel]

You're going in the coat?

[Ashley Johnson]

Four kids in a trench coat, One of whom is wearing the trench coat.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Normally, while I'm totally visible, my footsteps are silent.

[Critical Role Cast]

By the way, I've grabbed the Tusk love book.

[Sam Riegel]

The magazine?

[Critical Role Cast]

Yeah, the magazine before we moved.

[Sam Riegel]

Tusk loves it.

[Critical Role Cast]

Looked like it was pretty interesting.

[Sam Riegel]

Yes, it's very spicy. There's shorts, stories, articles. There's some comedy in there, too. There's some little jokes. There's a centerfold. It's very nice.

[Matthew Mercer]

Oh, wow. It's sticky, too.

[Ashley Johnson]

In the waiting room of the office, this is a poorly rendered illusion.

[Sam Riegel]

Lieve Jessop. Are you just walking straight through with purpose? Are you trying to subterfuge your hiding.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Close to the walls to blend in so that my color, because I'm the same color as the wall.

[Sam Riegel]

Sure. Roll a stealth check with advantage. Yes. Because of the rules of Dungeons and Dragons.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Stealth with you rolling it plus zero. Okay. 14 and nine. So 14.

[Sam Riegel]

14, okay. Our shorter gentleman, the coconut looking fellow, is really getting into it with the assistant, the attendant there. You gotta kick these guys out. You gotta kick these guys out. Right. They're disturbing me. They're bothering me. I'm here to get seen. And she's like, please, sir, I can't control who walk walk sees. They're very distracted. They don't see you pass right by. The other guy does, though. The palm Tree looking fellow, he says. Excuse me. Excuse me, miss. They're getting through. Hey, miss. Miss. Marcy. The attendant does turn to see you guys right as you get to the door. Are you going to try to burst through or are you going to try to do anything?

[Matthew Mercer]

I'm sick of this.

[Ashley Johnson]

Just go for it. Let's cheese it. Let's burst through. Yeah.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. You open the door right as she fires off a spell at you. Let's see. Actually, you know what? Let me look here. Everybody roll a dexterity check. Dexterity Saving throw.

[Matthew Mercer]

Dexterity three.

[Sam Riegel]

Who got above 12?

[Matthew Mercer]

I did.

[Ashley Johnson]

16.

[Sam Riegel]

Great.

[Matthew Mercer]

I got looks like 13.

[Sam Riegel]

Great.

[Critical Role Cast]

10.

[Sam Riegel]

Okay. And three. Okay.

[Critical Role Cast]

You were carrying three kids.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes.

[Critical Role Cast]

I mean.

[Sam Riegel]

A spout of flame shoots out of her hand at you and singes just two of you. You two both manage to duck out of the way. Kai instinctively moving Padme out of the way. But the two of you take two points of fire damage. But you do make it through. You do make it through the door and find yourself in a new space. You find yourself inside a blistering inferno. A large rectangular chamber, the floor glowing red with angry heat. At once you realize this is a colossal cooktop. The air shimmers and warps from the scorching metal. The smell of charred grease stings your nose. Meals in various stages of cooking litter the floor. Bacon, eggs, hash browns, pancakes. Many of which have feet, hands, eyes, as if they were once alive, but no longer. At one end of the room stands a large pan man, a hulking monstrosity of blackened iron, holding an imposing spatula in one hand and a razor sharp grilling fork in the other. Sky and Jessop. You instantly recognize Gub. Gub the flying pig. However, he looks much more succulent before because he is dead and currently being fried atop one of the cooktop surfaces by this pan creature. And what's that? Across the chamber, you notice a door has just opened and two other figures, barely visible through the smoking grease, step through. It is Beau and Yasha. Yes. They have just entered the chamber through a door opposite yours. Let me show you what this all looks like while Ashley and Marisha, please step on back.

[Ashley Johnson]

Should we scooch our chairs down?

[Sam Riegel]

Yes, please. Oh, my God.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Matthew Mercer]

That's insane.

[Sam Riegel]

Where's my pan man? Awesome.

[Ashley Johnson]

Truly awesome.

[Critical Role Cast]

Hey, pals.

[Ashley Johnson]

You're back.

[Sam Riegel]

We're back.

[Critical Role Cast]

It's been so disturbing.

[Ashley Johnson]

We've been through a lot.

[Matthew Mercer]

We've been through quite a lot.

[Sam Riegel]

You guys have all entered right about cha. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's so hard to do this. I don't know how Matt does this. Brennan, it's easy for you. And here you see before you walk. Walk. The pan man. Look at him. He's terrified.

[Critical Role Cast]

His eyes behind his mouth.

[Sam Riegel]

Insane, horrifying.

[Marisha Ray]

Look at his little shepherd.

[Sam Riegel]

Bo and Yasha have just emerged over here and are taking this sight in along with the others. This is the first time you've ever seen anything like this. The pan creature notices both parties and bellows at the top of his iron lungs. Ah, the campers. Here to whisk everything for a merit badge. Well, no worries. I'll make this over easy.

[Marisha Ray]

That's my favorite type of egg.

[Sam Riegel]

Everybody, let's go ahead and roll for initiative. Oh, my goodness, yes. And just see what happens. Okay, that's a wrap for part one of this podcast episode. Part two is heading your way this upcoming Tuesday at 5am Pacific, and we'll pick up this adventure right where we left off. Until next time, we'll be back at Camp Wildemount before you know it.