Wilde Out | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 3 Part 2

Summary

Critical Role: Wilde Out | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 3 Part 2 - Detailed Summary

Introduction In this thrilling continuation of the Wildemount Wildlings series, the Critical Role cast delves deeper into the adventures of four angsty teen campers and their legendary counselors, Beauregard Lyonette and Yasha Nidorin. As unexpected events propel this unlikely band of adventurers into a quest of a lifetime, tensions rise, alliances form, and the true spirit of the camp is tested.

Adventure Background Wildemount Wildlings is a three-episode miniseries that transports listeners to a unique tabletop roleplaying scenario set within the expansive world of Exandria. Episode 3 Part 2 picks up the narrative where the characters find themselves entangled in a series of supernatural challenges at the Wildemount camp.

Key Plot Points and Events

1. Encounter with the Pan Man ([05:08] - [18:52])

   The campers—Jessup, Kai, Yasha, Beau, and Sky Skullcrusher—explore an underground hallway leading to a dark world. Here, they confront a colossal creature known as Wok Wok the Sandman, a formidable pan-themed antagonist. The encounter begins with Matt Mercer narrating the scene:

   "You do notice that the ground is very, very, very hot." ([07:08])

   The group engages in combat, utilizing their unique abilities and strategies. Notable moments include:

   • Jessup's Mirror of Guilt ([08:12] - [09:38]): Jessup uses a magical mirror designed to paralyze foes with guilt. Despite uncertainty about its effectiveness, the move leads to the Pan Man hesitating before attacking.

     "You can certainly try." - Matt Mercer ([08:37])

   • Taliesin's Deceptive Inspection ([11:17] - [12:33]): Taliesin dons a disguise to pose as a kitchen inspector, attempting to deceive the Pan Man. Although initially unsuccessful, this sets the stage for further tactical maneuvers.

     "That's a very good role and a very convincing disguise." - Matt Mercer ([12:03])

   • Laura’s Acrobatic Assault ([17:18] - [18:52]): Laura Bailey’s character employs acrobatics to mount the Pan Man's pan, striking it with a bo staff. Despite the pan's metal composition, repeated attacks inflict significant damage.

     "This is doing some good damage. Well done." - Matt Mercer ([18:37])

2. Escalation and Team Coordination ([19:22] - [35:36])

   As the battle intensifies, the campers face additional threats:

   • Creation of Grease Elementals ([22:06] - [24:00]): Travis Willingham’s character casts Grease, inadvertently creating elemental threats that compound the danger.

     "Your spell casting is actually quite powerful." - Matt Mercer ([22:09])

   • Strategic Moves and Damage Control ([30:12] - [35:36]): The team collaborates on strategies to mitigate damage and exploit the Pan Man's vulnerabilities. This includes leveraging wood-based spells and physical attacks to weaken the antagonist.

     "I think you're at a level two panic." - Matt Mercer ([31:35])

3. Turning the Tide ([35:38] - [53:51])

   Through a series of coordinated attacks and creative spellcasting, the campers begin to overpower the Pan Man:

   • Taliesin’s Grease Attack ([40:43] - [56:29]): Utilizing stealth and coordination, Taliesin and Travis execute a combined attack that significantly damages the Pan Man, pushing the battle in their favor.

     "These are getting objectively worse, Band Man." - Matt Mercer ([24:41])

   • Liam’s Sorcerer Burst ([58:26] - [60:31]): Despite being low on health, Liam attempts a Sorcerer’s Burst to turn the tide, showcasing the high-stakes nature of the encounter.

     "Your sorceress burst just barely misses and shoots wide." - Matt Mercer ([60:01])

4. Final Confrontation and Resolution ([53:51] - [81:55])

   The climax unfolds as the campers employ desperate measures to defeat the Pan Man:

   • Travis’s Rage-Fueled Attack ([55:18] - [60:31]): Emboldened by rage, Travis delivers a powerful strike that severely weakens the Pan Man.

     "You're not supposed to. Now, that's actually a myth." - Taliesin Jaffe ([36:56])

   • Laura’s Unyielding Assault ([69:36] - [70:34]): Laura's character persistently attacks, demonstrating resilience and determination.

     "You're still hurt, guys. You're okay." - Matt Mercer ([28:01])

   • Taliesin and Travis’s Team Move ([72:06] - [76:46]): The duo orchestrates a synchronized attack, utilizing rope tactics and combined assaults to finally defeat the Pan Man. Their teamwork exemplifies the heart of collaborative storytelling in Critical Role.

     "If you could carry it off." - Laura Bailey as Taliesin ([77:14])

   • Veth's Intervention and Camp’s Baptism ([81:36] - [85:46]): With the battle concluded, Veth steps in to mediate the aftermath. The campers are commended for their bravery despite the chaos, receiving friendship merit badges and resolving internal conflicts.

     "Merit badges are cool." - Laura Bailey as Taliesin ([15:02])

Character Highlights

• Travis Willingham (Padmund): Displays emotional depth by grappling with guilt over unintended consequences of his actions, ultimately channeling his rage into effective combat maneuvers.

  "I've seen my friends in peril too much today." - Travis Willingham ([54:34])

• Laura Bailey (Beau): Demonstrates strategic thinking by manipulating the environment, such as turning off the stove to weaken the Pan Man, and showing resilience despite taking damage.

  "This is turning into a public service announcement about kitchen safety." - Laura Bailey ([23:01])

• Liam O'Brien (Jessup): Balances desperation with creativity, attempting high-risk spells to influence the battle's outcome even when low on resources.

  "I'm gonna use my innate sorcerer to for advantage." - Liam O'Brien ([59:08])

• Taliesin Jaffe (Kai): Utilizes cunning and resourcefulness, preparing for future encounters by planning strategic actions like tripping the Pan Man with rope.

  "I think we have to leave camp." - Taliesin Jaffe ([15:08])

• Ashley Johnson (Yasha): Acts as a steadfast frontline warrior, using divine abilities to inflict significant damage while maintaining her composure amidst chaos.

  "I'm gonna do a two-handed attack with my dagger and hand axe." - Ashley Johnson ([55:08])

Insights and Conclusions

The episode masterfully blends intense combat sequences with character development, emphasizing themes of teamwork, resilience, and personal growth. The campers' journey through adversity showcases the essence of tabletop roleplaying—where imagination, strategy, and collaboration drive the narrative forward.

Notable moments include the effective use of magical items like Jessup's Mirror of Guilt and Taliesin's disguise kit, which add layers of strategy and humor to the encounter. The dynamic interplay between the characters, especially during high-stress situations, highlights their evolving relationships and individual strengths.

The resolution, marked by Veth's acknowledgment and the awarding of merit badges, reinforces the camp's values of embracing imperfections and celebrating unconventional successes. It also sets the stage for future adventures, hinting at deeper emotional undertones and potential character arcs.

Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

• "You do notice that the ground is very, very, very hot." – Matt Mercer ([07:08])
• "That's a very good role and a very convincing disguise." – Matt Mercer ([12:03])
• "This is turning into a public service announcement about kitchen safety." – Laura Bailey ([23:01])
• "Your sorceress burst just barely misses and shoots wide." – Matt Mercer ([60:01])
• "These are getting objectively worse, Band Man." – Matt Mercer ([24:41])
• "I've seen my friends in peril too much today." – Travis Willingham ([54:34])
• "I'm gonna do a two-handed attack with my dagger and hand axe." – Ashley Johnson ([55:08])
• "We might have one." – Matt Mercer ([33:38])
• "I'm so sorry. This is way too real for Walk." – Travis Willingham ([25:04])

Conclusion Episode 3 Part 2 of Wildemount Wildlings delivers an action-packed and emotionally resonant continuation of the campers' adventures. Through strategic gameplay, heartfelt character interactions, and Matt Mercer's expert storytelling, the episode encapsulates the spirit of Critical Role—where every roll of the dice propels a story of courage, friendship, and growth. Whether navigating supernatural threats or confronting personal challenges, the campers exemplify the enduring power of collaboration and imagination in tabletop roleplaying.

Transcript

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[Matt Mercer]

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[Ashley Johnson]

Hey there critters. This is Ashley Johnson and Telus and Jeffy and we're popping in here to talk about our new podcast on Beacon Weird Kids.

[Marisha Ray]

In this series, we're diving into our lives as former child actors, from unraveling our eccentric upbringings to embracing all the delightfully odd interests we still have.

[Matt Mercer]

Today.

[Ashley Johnson]

We're covering so many topics like antique toys, taxidermy, Japanese pop culture and and honestly, anything else we come up with.

[Marisha Ray]

Weird Kids is available exclusively on Beacon. But good news, we're offering a one month free trial on Beacon TV so you can take a look before you become a member. Just use the code Weirdos at Beacon TV to start the trial.

[Ashley Johnson]

You can also find fellow weirdos by following the series on our heirdkids pod, Instagram and using the hashtag weirdkids.

[Marisha Ray]

So to all the misfits, outcasts and weirdos out there, come take a seat at our table and celebrate all things unconventional, nostalgic and wonderfully weird. Welcome to Weird Kids.

[Ashley Johnson]

New episodes release every Tuesday.

[Laura Bailey]

Hey there Critical Role Podcast listeners. We have a special new membership service at Beacon TV where you can get early access to all new podcast episodes, including Critical Role. For the first time ever. Beacon members also get things like event presales, merch discounts, access to a private community discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown where we riff after the show. Think of it as our digital Critical Role land. Head on over to Beacon TV to check it out for yourself and start a seven day free trial. Thank you so so much for your support for being a podcast listener and for being a part of our community.

[Brennan Lee Mulligan]

Hey there Critters we are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Exandria. The Re Slayer's Take in this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Issylra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures. Here the Slayers take as the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm. But when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and reslay these supernatural threats as the reslayers take. So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Exandria battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures. The party is led by a duo of game masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux and Jasmine Sheong. Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts or become a Beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early and uninterrupted by ads.

[Matt Mercer]

Howdy ho campers. It's game master Sam Riegel and you're listening to part two of this episode of Wildemount Wildlings. So if you haven't checked out part one yet, pause this now and head over there first. In this three episode miniseries, we're following the antics of four angsty teen campers and their legendary counselors, Beauregard Lyonette and Yasha Nidorin, as an unexpected turn of events flings this unlikely band of adventurers into a quest of a lifetime. New episodes of Wildemount Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6pm Pacific on Beacon, Twitch and YouTube, with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following Mondays at noon. If you want instant access to podcast content and an ad free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6pm Pacific on Thursdays. Plus you can also check out our Beacon exclusive show Critical Role Cooldown and experience the cast's post show reactions to each episode. Now let's wild out and jump into the much anticipated second half of this episode.

[Laura Bailey]

Sam, hold your horses. The listeners need their Part one recap. The Olga Cabin kids explore an underground hallway that leads to both dark world.

[Matt Mercer]

And a waiting room beyond, which leads.

[Laura Bailey]

Them to a colossal cooktop where they reunite with Beau and Yasha and are.

[Matt Mercer]

Confronted by the powerful puns of Wok Wok the Sandman. Okay, where'd my pen go? How does Matt do this so bad?

[Travis Willingham]

It's a nat 20.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, anybody? 25? 20 to 25. Yes. Oh, what'd you get?

[Liam O'Brien]

Mat 20.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh you got a nat 20. Okay, great. So Jessup first. Anyone 15 to 20?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I got a 16.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Kai. Great. Anybody? 10 to 15?

[Laura Bailey]

10.

[Ashley Johnson]

10. But you're much more dexterous than I am.

[Laura Bailey]

I'd probably go for it. Unless you want a Rollies. Sure. Rollies.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, geez.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, I'm getting them out of the way now. Okay, 17 1.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, well, that's good.

[Matt Mercer]

You got it out of the way.

[Laura Bailey]

You got it out of the way.

[Matt Mercer]

So Jessup, Kai, Yasha, Bo, and then who's five to ten? Or I have an eight. Okay, that's Sky Skullcrusher. And is that everybody? No. Padmund, where are you?

[Travis Willingham]

I am at an 88 initiative.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, so you're at the end.

[Critical Role Cast]

We have the same.

[Matt Mercer]

You do. You could either roll these to see who does it. That just roll a D20 and see who gets the higher number.

[Ashley Johnson]

Seven again. I like how you say that like that's a normal.

[Laura Bailey]

The camp knows what rule is.

[Matt Mercer]

Is that a double tie?

[Travis Willingham]

Double tie. You want to go the exact same tie?

[Matt Mercer]

Double the dice.

[Travis Willingham]

Want us to go simultaneously.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. You guys get every turn. You guys get to figure out which one goes first. All right.

[Liam O'Brien]

We worked.

[Matt Mercer]

All right. Yes. So this creature, I believe, Jessup, you get to go first. So what would you like to do? You do notice that the ground is very, very, very hot.

[Liam O'Brien]

Can I use one of these things that I've gotten from my. These magic things that you handed me?

[Matt Mercer]

Potions. You can use whatever you want. I will also say because he's been cooking for a while, that this pink post it. Note that that is the remains of Gub. Gub the Flying King.

[Travis Willingham]

Tough.

[Critical Role Cast]

You know, I didn't like him very much, but this seems like a rough guess.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. And you can see that at the center of each of these griddles is a very hot center. But it does look like these iron bars seem to be held up and away from the heat, and so they're slightly less hot than this.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Assuming he's heat resistant.

[Matt Mercer]

You never know. Jessup. Yes. You can use whatever you would like to use.

[Liam O'Brien]

Would this be an action or a bonus action?

[Matt Mercer]

It would be an action to use a potion or action, depending on what it is. If it's just a healing thing, I'll let you take that as a bonus.

[Liam O'Brien]

I think I'm going to use my mirror of guilt against him. So, a hand mirror with a finely crafted wooden handle. The glass is shattered. It causes whoever looks into it to be paralyzed with guilt for two rounds.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

Can I paralyze him with.

[Matt Mercer]

You can certainly try. So you're going to shine this mirror. It's a small hand mirror, right. And you're going to sort of show it at him and see if it works. You're pretty far away, I would say. Let's roll to see if it works. Roll an insight check just to see if you can. If you can aim it properly to get him right in the eyes.

[Liam O'Brien]

13 plus 15.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. You do shine it at his face, and it seems you don't really know if it works because you don't know this gentleman very well, but you do see a glint shining in his eyes, and he seems to recoil from it. You're not sure if it's worked yet or not, but it did something. Would you like to move or do any bonus actions?

[Liam O'Brien]

I think I'll stay there and let him be with his guilt.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. As you stay put, you're the tall one. As you stay put, you get this. You know what? Roll an investigation. Check.

[Liam O'Brien]

14.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. You do get the sense that if you stay put here, this is a very hot cooktop. If you stay put, it's gonna start to kind of hurt your feet pretty soon, so you may want to move from this area.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay. I think I'll get close to it and go. Or as close as I can.

[Matt Mercer]

You can move 30ft, I believe. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. So you can get to about here. Unless you'd like to go anywhere else. Where are you trying to get to?

[Liam O'Brien]

I think I'll go there and just look at him and go. Do you feel bad about the things you've done in your life?

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. He regards you very curiously and just confused at this point. Nothing registers yet, but that's a great move. Next up is Kai. What are you doing?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I put my disguise kit on.

[Matt Mercer]

All right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Not the time.

[Travis Willingham]

Good. He won't recognize you. The person he's meeting for the first time right now.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

My two mustaches hang above and below my lip.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. Go ahead. And what are you trying to. What effect are you trying to do just to look slightly different?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I call out to him, hello, sir. I'm the kitchen inspector.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, okay. Great. Okay.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah. It's not that other guy you didn't have context for. It's a new other stranger.

[Ashley Johnson]

Who.

[Travis Willingham]

He's the kitchen inspector.

[Matt Mercer]

Great.

[Ashley Johnson]

Did you get it?

[Matt Mercer]

Roll a deception check.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh. Whoa. Okay, hold on, hold on.

[Ashley Johnson]

Big numbers.

[Travis Willingham]

He wants to play 25, so.

[Matt Mercer]

Whoa.

[Travis Willingham]

As much as Kai is Padme's best friend, Padman is shaking his head, going we should reward this.

[Matt Mercer]

We should reward this baby. Where is this? He wants to pass. This is this guy? Yes.

[Critical Role Cast]

I think it's really smart.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Matt Mercer]

That's a very good role and a very convincing disguise. Unfortunately, your words seem to be disregarded by this entity. It sort of shakes off what you're saying and says, oh, a health inspector, eh? Well, pretty soon you're gonna be toast.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

He has no regard for the community.

[Travis Willingham]

He's a very bad person.

[Matt Mercer]

Would you like to move or do any other bonus actions?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm gonna throw my dagger right at him.

[Matt Mercer]

That's an action. And I think. I think you used your.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I already used my actions.

[Matt Mercer]

Yourself. And try to convince him that you are a double mustached health inspector.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So for my move, I'm also gonna get right up next to Jess up there.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. So you're gonna move up to right next to her. Okay, great. Awesome. Next up, Walk Walk the Pan Man. Walk, Walk, Walk, Walk the Pan Man. I didn't name these guys.

[Laura Bailey]

Walk Walk's a great name.

[Ashley Johnson]

It is a great name. Look at that.

[Laura Bailey]

Walk, Walk.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah, it's brilliant. Okay. Walk, Walk. The Pan man is. He is going to disappear from here and reappear right over here as if he teleported.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

He can flame hop.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. He goes to attack the two of you.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No.

[Matt Mercer]

With his spatula.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We just died earlier.

[Matt Mercer]

He rears back to attack, and just as he does, seeing Jessop below and the mirror in her hand, he stops himself and says, this just feels wrong. What am I doing? What am I doing? And he loses his attack. He's overcome with guilt, and he loses his round. The mirror of guilt seems to have done something to him. Yasha, you are up with Beau on deck.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, my goodness. Okay. Oh, you're still alive.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You're still alive.

[Laura Bailey]

You're okay.

[Travis Willingham]

Is it necessary for us to stay in this room? Does anyone have an actual gripe with this Pan man, or could we leave as quickly as possible?

[Ashley Johnson]

This Pan man seems so familiar to me.

[Laura Bailey]

What?

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't know why.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, no.

[Laura Bailey]

We have so much to unpack after this.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, if you want to leave, you can, I guess.

[Laura Bailey]

But if you stay and you help us fight this, you all get your merit badges.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes, yes, that's what I meant.

[Laura Bailey]

Just don't die, okay? I can't deal with the liability.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

What's another death, right?

[Travis Willingham]

I do not feel the same way about this as you.

[Ashley Johnson]

You've already died.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I saw Archibald, and he said, what's up, man from the other side? He's from the other side.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We had a very uncomfortable conversation where I had to apologize to him for tossing him through the window. But I think he forgives me for it.

[Liam O'Brien]

I don't know. I don't know how worth it it is to stay in here. These badges are cool, but how much are they ultimately worth? No, we have to leave camp.

[Critical Role Cast]

If we don't win one, it's important.

[Liam O'Brien]

Do we love camp that much?

[Critical Role Cast]

Oh, gosh, I do.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm a rage.

[Matt Mercer]

Great.

[Laura Bailey]

Kang has.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna rage, and I'm going to make my way over to walk. Walk.

[Matt Mercer]

All right.

[Ashley Johnson]

And my movement. It's 30.

[Matt Mercer]

Because you're level three, right?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Are you right there? Are you up on the iron?

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna go up on the iron.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna. Well, I can't attack you.

[Matt Mercer]

Uh, no, you can't quite get up to it, but. But you're close.

[Ashley Johnson]

I will just. You can dash even though I still can't attack you.

[Matt Mercer]

True.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's all right. I'll get up on it. I'm gonna be a distraction, so I'm gonna get up on it.

[Matt Mercer]

So you're gonna make your way all the way.

[Ashley Johnson]

All the way.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Laura Bailey]

Hey. Hey. Over here.

[Matt Mercer]

He's looking down at me. Yep, yep, yep. He's looking down at you. Sure. And that's your turn.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's my turn.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm close, I'm close, I'm close.

[Matt Mercer]

You're up.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay. I just. As we both kind of charge in simultaneously, I say out of the freezer and onto the fireplace. Nice. Am I right, babe?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, man, that was good. I like all these puns. Thank you.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. I am going to step of the wind to get me the rest of the way. I will kind of flank a bit. Dungeon master.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

What's the over under of me parkouring up this pan?

[Matt Mercer]

You can certainly try.

[Laura Bailey]

I can certainly. Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

Acrobatics.

[Travis Willingham]

Do you have little puzzles?

[Laura Bailey]

17.

[Matt Mercer]

I was looking for it back here, but I can't. I don't know where matt keeps the putty, if anyone.

[Laura Bailey]

He normally sticks it on the back of the screens. Is it like stuck. Stuck.

[Travis Willingham]

Little dots on the screen over there.

[Laura Bailey]

Little dots.

[Matt Mercer]

Ew. It's like little chewed up pieces of gum. Yeah, yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay. Does 17 work?

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, for sure. Yes. You pancore up? Yes. Like an iron woman. And you are up. Oh, God.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, how it does match.

[Matt Mercer]

I didn't see that.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I didn't See anything?

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, I'm up here. Swear jar.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, shit.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, you're up on top of the pan, man. What would you like to do up there? Is that your action or is that.

[Laura Bailey]

That was my bonus action. This step is the wind. She's so powerful. Oh, and that's right, my jump distance is doubled. So yeah, I'm up there, no probs. And I'm going to pull out my bo staff, I'm gonna spin it around and just start whacking the pan.

[Matt Mercer]

Pop, pop, pop, pop. All right, roll to attack.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, this is just. I just have one attack because I'm weak. Okay, good. That's gonna be 19 to hit.

[Matt Mercer]

That definitely hits.

[Laura Bailey]

Great. Where's my D8?

[Critical Role Cast]

Guns are back.

[Laura Bailey]

Where's my D8? Damn.

[Matt Mercer]

There we go.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, fine. That is perfectly fine. Seven, damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Amazing. You watch as your former instructor, Beau is up on top of this iron pan creature, just whacking it with a stick. Whacking with a stick. And even though it's made out of pure iron, it seems to be taking some dents. This is doing some good damage. Well done. Beau, is that your turn?

[Laura Bailey]

That's my turn. Just sounds like a blue man group.

[Matt Mercer]

Awesome. Doing it. Her muscles glistening in the hot, hot heat. Up next is sky or Padmind. You guys decide.

[Critical Role Cast]

Can we work together?

[Travis Willingham]

I'm gonna look at sky, and I'm trembling with my staff here. I've cast all my spells, we're out of potions, and I just am gonna look and I'm gonna say, we should try to get out. Merit badge. You're crazy. We're already in the Olga cabin. So what if we get a merit badge? We're always gonna be the kids who had to be in the loser cabin. Oops, let's go again.

[Critical Role Cast]

Oops, let's go again. It means we get a second chance. We can't give up now. If we give up now, then we're losers for life. But if we can beat this hideous thing somehow, together, then maybe, maybe we might not be full heroes, but we could be half a hero.

[Travis Willingham]

I'm going to look at Kai and Jessop. Do you guys believe I want to insight check you? To be like, is it worth it to be half a hero? I think Padmin is. I'm looking at you like you.

[Critical Role Cast]

I've never belonged anywhere, but I feel like I belong with you. With you, the four you. And I don't know you very well, but even you.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think about this, Padman. Think about this. Think about this splash art cover box. Four small heroes standing atop a frying pan. Sick as hell. Fire in the background, glistening sweat off your muscles and your mucusy surface.

[Critical Role Cast]

I have another argument. He's not giving up. You can either stay and then you might save your artist, or then what are you gonna do? You can't make your cards without him.

[Matt Mercer]

Wow.

[Travis Willingham]

A beautiful and stirring motivational speech, followed immediately by an extremely pragmatic exhortation to protect my investment in my long running card game.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

How are you doing it, baby?

[Travis Willingham]

You're finally talking sense, Sky. Let's take it to this pan. How do we do it? And I will go ahead and I think if we're going on the same initiative, I'll use my action to give the help action to you on whatever you. I'm out of spells, so I want to give the help action to you on whatever you want to attempt to do.

[Critical Role Cast]

I want to cast grease again.

[Matt Mercer]

That's great.

[Critical Role Cast]

I want to send grease right into the center underneath him to create some kind of a fiery inferno that might singe him.

[Matt Mercer]

Incredible. Incredible idea first, especially on his handle.

[Critical Role Cast]

That looks vulnerable.

[Matt Mercer]

Flip that coin to see if you can wizard enough. It's him. Yay. You got so lucky with those cast grease. What's the range on Greece?

[Critical Role Cast]

It is. Oh, God. I should have looked before. 60ft.

[Matt Mercer]

That's amazing. So from where you're standing, you can absolutely cast grease and just under. Walk, walk the pan man, there is an open flame that you're targeting. Right. It instantly starts a grease fire that shoots up a fireball that definitely hits Yasha. Wow. But let's say let's roll for dexterity to see if you can avoid some of the damage. And Panman will do the same.

[Laura Bailey]

This is fully turning into a public service announcement about kitchen safety.

[Ashley Johnson]

I have advantage on deck. Saves against effects. I can see.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. So go ahead and roll.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. Should I have advantage?

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

Dm yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, that's good.

[Matt Mercer]

What does this say?

[Ashley Johnson]

What's my dex?

[Matt Mercer]

This is. It just happened.

[Ashley Johnson]

19.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. So, yes, I'll say that the grease fire goes all the way up the pan, including hitting you. So go ahead and roll.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay. A Dex save you said. Okay. 12.

[Matt Mercer]

That's not enough. Okay. But Eden, can you roll 3D6 and tell me what you get? This will be the damage. Oh, wow. Hein.

[Laura Bailey]

One.

[Travis Willingham]

10 damage.

[Matt Mercer]

10 damage. So because you succeeded, you take five fire damage, you'll take the full 10.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

And the pan man is, as you might expect, pretty, pretty resistant to heat. But still does take some damage. It doesn't seem to bother him so much. In fact, he sort of. He does that thing, like. And he says to you, oh, you're stirring up trouble now.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We gotta kill this guy.

[Matt Mercer]

I agree.

[Laura Bailey]

These are getting objectively worse, Band Man.

[Travis Willingham]

Seeing this guy's spell go off in an awesome way. And I think there's no attack roll there. So there's no. I don't think granting advantage would help in that moment. I'll look at the pan man and just go, what'd you call me? Would you call me a loser?

[Matt Mercer]

What was that?

[Travis Willingham]

Slimy loser. You think I can't go on the boat?

[Matt Mercer]

I mean, I.

[Travis Willingham]

You're not even my real dad.

[Matt Mercer]

I didn't.

[Travis Willingham]

I couldn't go on the boat this summer.

[Matt Mercer]

I don't think that's.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah, I will go to camp the whole summer.

[Matt Mercer]

No, I mean, you can call me.

[Travis Willingham]

A stupid BU Guide loser all you want.

[Matt Mercer]

I speak in cooking puns. I never said any of that.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah, well, I'll tell you what's cooked you. And I'm gonna jump right at him and just swing with my staff.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Swinging away. Emma. Yeah. You can make it to the base of his pan. And you're attacking with just your quarter staff attack.

[Travis Willingham]

Would you. Normally, it can't work on opponents of this size, but I would like to try to knock him prone if I can.

[Matt Mercer]

Whoa. I'd say you have to roll pretty high, but yes. Let's give it a shot. Okay. Because your outburst of really personal anger seems to have taken him aback. He's used to following recipes and dealing with flavor profiles. Not dealing with really damaged emotional.

[Travis Willingham]

Just frothing.

[Matt Mercer]

You're not my real dad. Yeah, this is way too real for. For. Walk. Walk. So he's taken aback a little bit. Go ahead and roll to see if you hit.

[Travis Willingham]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm just watching.

[Travis Willingham]

Is this a normal. Is this an athletics check or a normal quarter staff?

[Matt Mercer]

So you're not trying to inflict damage. You're just trying to knock himself.

[Travis Willingham]

No, there actually is. I'm looking at the actions for this. The quarter staff does have the topple effect, which maybe does. This might be newer rules. This might be some.

[Matt Mercer]

That's fine. Use whatever rules you want.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah, I'll make an attack. And if I hit her with this weapon, I can force it to make a constitution saving throw on a failed save. It goes prone. So I'll just make a quarter staff attack.

[Matt Mercer]

I've got his stats. I'll do it.

[Travis Willingham]

Ooh, that is a 19. That's a 26 to hit.

[Matt Mercer]

I'll roll. Just in case. I'll roll on the table. He gets a plus one to Constitution. He got a five.

[Travis Willingham]

Great. So I sweep the legs great. And I'm going to then deal. That is seven plus. I deal. 12 points of damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, my gosh. Insane. Yes. Padman, like an uncaged beast, whacks at this thing. Oh, my God. Walk, walk. The Pan man, strangely was standing on just the tip of his pan, which is not a very sturdy surface. It should have been the other way, but it very easily knocks down. I'll say. He's gonna take Beau with him. Unfortunately, he slams down.

[Travis Willingham]

Stop making fun of me.

[Matt Mercer]

You guys are still here. Yes. Beau, you fall prone to the ground. Unless you can make some sort of amazing dope monk shit.

[Laura Bailey]

I mean. Yeah. Would you allow me to try and like three point landing here?

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. Do an acrobatics save. Otherwise you're gonna fall into the flames there and take.

[Laura Bailey]

Is this a deck save or an acrobatic check?

[Matt Mercer]

Deck save or an acrobatics check. Your choice.

[Laura Bailey]

They're the same.

[Critical Role Cast]

Ooh, 11.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, I'm sorry. You slip because he's greasy. He's been greased up with butter. You fall prone onto the flame surface. You take three points of fire damage.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, no.

[Matt Mercer]

How are you doing?

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm okay.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, okay, okay. You're level three. You're okay. All right. The Pan man is down. That was Padman Sky's turn. Incredible. At the top of the round.

[Critical Role Cast]

I know you're still really traumatized right now.

[Matt Mercer]

No, I'm doing great at the top of the round. Let me see how many. Just one. Okay. The Panman, as you jostled him and started that grease fire, a grease ball shoots out of the flames. One would even call it a grease elemental.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Mercer]

And it is searching for someone to get Gracie with. So it's going straight for Yasha and it's going to make an attack.

[Critical Role Cast]

Wait, did I create that with my magic?

[Matt Mercer]

Yes, you did. Incredible spell. Oh boy. It went really good. Your spell casting is actually quite powerful. It turns out you're a better wizard than you thought. It rolled a 19 to hit plus 4. So 23 to hit.

[Ashley Johnson]

Ooh, it hits.

[Matt Mercer]

Uh huh. And you take just two points of fire damage from the grease elemental. That is his turn. Jessup, you are up with Kai on deck. What would you like to do? The Pan man is flailing about his arms. He looks so uncomfortable right now. He's saying, ah, you've knocked me down, but I will scramble your brain.

[Laura Bailey]

I love you. Bailed one of that one.

[Matt Mercer]

They're all bad.

[Travis Willingham]

I'll call out to Kaia Jessup and be like, in his prone condition, he is susceptible to attacks. I would say now is an ideal time for a sneak attack. And I mean that in the colloquial sense.

[Matt Mercer]

True. Great.

[Laura Bailey]

No, this is really a lot.

[Matt Mercer]

This is.

[Liam O'Brien]

I thought I was doing well, but all of a sudden he's down. My counselors are in trouble. I don't know if I could do this. I guess I'll go for an infestation. That's a bunch of wood chips that will hit the remaining fires to reignite the flame anew.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, so you're gonna try to ignite the fire that's under the Pan man to try to blast him with another blast of fire. Okay. And you're making an inch infestation swarm. Usually it's insects.

[Liam O'Brien]

They're really flammable. Tiny bugs.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, sure.

[Liam O'Brien]

They're really flammable. Literal fire flowers.

[Matt Mercer]

I think they're swaying.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's very cool.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. We'll say that they're carpenter ants. So they're made of wood.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

An assortment of other.

[Matt Mercer]

What is the range of infestation and where are you? You're right here.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

So you're trying to aim over here. 5, 10, 15.

[Liam O'Brien]

But I think I'm panicking.

[Matt Mercer]

35. 40. So you can reach and you should absolutely roll to see if this works. Please roll a D6. How panicky would you say in a scale of, I don't know, one to three?

[Critical Role Cast]

I think two.

[Matt Mercer]

You're at a level two panic. And she's shaking. You can see that her hands are shaking. Her whole body is sort of twitching.

[Liam O'Brien]

Little bird bones.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. Go ahead and roll a D6 and tell me what you get. Which one? That's the square one.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, right. Yes. Four.

[Matt Mercer]

A four. That works. Yes, that works. The spell is cast, infestation happens, and a swarm of very flammable insects appears right directly under the flame that is currently heating the Panman. And a burst of fire happens. Go ahead and roll 3D6 and see what happens. He's gonna roll for five.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, that's good. I roll.

[Matt Mercer]

Three. Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Six.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, I know.

[Liam O'Brien]

Three.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, that is. Go ahead and roll a Dex Save. I think at disadvantage because you're prone.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That's right.

[Matt Mercer]

Boom. So what was the total number? 12.

[Liam O'Brien]

It was 6. 11 plus 13. 13. 6.

[Matt Mercer]

14. 14. Oh, boy.

[Liam O'Brien]

Sorry.

[Matt Mercer]

As before, this flame scalds his body, but he is pretty. He's pretty resistant to fire. I don't know why we keep trying fire spells. He yells at you. Oh, are you trying to butter me up?

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, God.

[Travis Willingham]

Wow, you said butter before.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm running out of them.

[Ashley Johnson]

Do you die after all your pluns are done?

[Laura Bailey]

That's okay. 15.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, you take half damage because you managed to roll out of the way of the flame. It was 14, so you take seven damage. Are you okay?

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm so sorry.

[Matt Mercer]

Beau's looking rough, guys. Beau's looking very rough.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, no.

[Matt Mercer]

And before the game, I forgot to give both of you healing potions. So great, we got healing potions. Nope, you don't have them. I forgot to give them to you.

[Critical Role Cast]

We might have one.

[Matt Mercer]

We have one.

[Liam O'Brien]

Yes, I have one.

[Matt Mercer]

That's how the cookie crumbles, baby.

[Liam O'Brien]

Is now a good time to give for the children?

[Critical Role Cast]

You're not passed out yet, are you?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, no, no.

[Matt Mercer]

You're very close. Kai. You are up. It is your turn. As you step up, the pan man eyes you and says, well, actually, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So if I move and then I do something.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, I'm so sorry. At the top of the round, because you are standing down there at the.

[Liam O'Brien]

Did I hit myself?

[Matt Mercer]

No, no, no. At the start of your turn, you take two points of damage from the flames that are licking your feet.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Both of us?

[Matt Mercer]

No, you, you take one point of flame damage. Everybody make a perception check.

[Critical Role Cast]

Okie dokie.

[Laura Bailey]

Including me.

[Matt Mercer]

As sure why not.

[Laura Bailey]

As I stop, drop and roll.

[Travis Willingham]

21.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, my God.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, mine is.

[Critical Role Cast]

Mine is five.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Anyone who got over at 10, natural 20. Amazing. Anyone who got over a 10 gets the sense that everything on this map is hot and will hurt you, except with the possibility of anything metal. You could probably crawl up and get away from the flames if you were to use those.

[Ashley Johnson]

You stand on the grill.

[Matt Mercer]

If you use on the grill, you could probably get away from the hot, hot fire. I know that doesn't make physics sense.

[Laura Bailey]

No, it doesn't make sense.

[Ashley Johnson]

In this map it's fine.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So if I move and then do something, would the move itself be an action or.

[Matt Mercer]

No, the move is a move. Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Can I move up right next to him?

[Matt Mercer]

Sure. Yes. You can get base to base with him? Yes. Would you like to be near his thorax up here?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Right there.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, I got a water skin.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm going to try to pour that in his mouth.

[Matt Mercer]

Incredible. I love this. So you use your action to dump the contents of your canteen, essentially right into the pan.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yes.

[Matt Mercer]

His scorching hot mouth screeches and squelches with flame. Roll a D6, tell me what you get.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

All right. Oh, that's a one.

[Matt Mercer]

Actually, you know what? First let me make sure that you can hit him. Roll a D20 for an attack.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

14.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah, that'll hit. And you got a one. I'll say that this is one D6 plus two of damage. So you deal three points of damage, but it seems to. It's not a great amount of water, but the amount of water that you've poured on there, it seems to really, really bother him. HE SCREAMS IN PAIN I can't even think of, of a pun about this. It does more damage than even you thought it would do.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Whoa.

[Critical Role Cast]

Are you maybe spoiling that?

[Matt Mercer]

That's a good one. Why didn't I come up with that one?

[Travis Willingham]

Wait a minute, is he cast iron?

[Matt Mercer]

He is.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

He is.

[Travis Willingham]

You're not supposed to. Now, that's actually a myth, but there's actually. You're not supposed to wash cast iron pans.

[Matt Mercer]

Everybody can rest.

[Critical Role Cast]

He can rest it down, spit in his mouth.

[Travis Willingham]

I always knew camp would end the day that I spat in someone's mouth.

[Matt Mercer]

Kai, that's your. You've used some of your movement. You've used your action. You have a bonus action. You can move a little bit more, probably.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, I'm gonna back up from him a tiny bit.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Where are you going to?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm go on the other. Other. Other side?

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah. Here? Yeah. Onto the grill. Yes. Okay, let's stick you on this grill. I'll try to anyway. Bloop. There you are. End of your turn.

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[Ashley Johnson]

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[Marisha Ray]

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[Marisha Ray]

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[Ashley Johnson]

New episodes release every Tuesday.

[Matt Mercer]

Incredible. It is now Walk Walk's turn. He is going to use half of his movement to stand up back over here and seeing who did this damage to him.

[Ashley Johnson]

Uh oh, can we get a check of opportunity?

[Matt Mercer]

You can if he moves away. He cannot teleport right now, but he will try to jump over here. You definitely get an attack of opportunity. Padmin, you do as well. Hell yeah. As he moves away. Actually, you know What Yasha does. But Padme, he's staying sort of within my threat. In your melee range. So Yasha gets an attack.

[Ashley Johnson]

Great. Well, I rolled 23.

[Matt Mercer]

That hits. Yes. Right. What are you attacking with?

[Ashley Johnson]

I am attacking. Well, I guess third level. Do I have my anything?

[Matt Mercer]

It's your character. I don't know what you have.

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, I would usually have my scald saber, but I don't know if I brought that to camp. Very scary and very bloody all the time. Sure, sure. Let's go with maybe. I just have a maybe. I just. It's just. It says a greatsword here. But so maybe to camp, I just brought a clean basic. Basic sword.

[Matt Mercer]

Does it have a cool name like all of Yasha's swords?

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, it's a silver sword.

[Matt Mercer]

You see, Yasha draws the famed silver sword, and she draws it slowly for great effect, but it's not as big as some of her other swords, so it just goes. And that's it. It's out.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right. Take an attack of opportunity, which is.

[Matt Mercer]

Not very good, would you deal?

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay, so three, four, five, eight.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, that's amazing. Okay, great, Great. Clang. Your sword hits it. The Pan man is irate. A spark flies off of his back. He turns down to you, Kai, and he says, there's too many cooks in this kitchen, if you ask me. And he's going to swipe at you with his fork. His Borg. Yes, his phone. He goes to swipe at you, and right as he does. I can't hit a kid that just feels wrong. He's still affected by the guilt.

[Travis Willingham]

Nice.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. And he abstains from firing off his attack. Instead. Instead he will. Because it's not him doing it. He will summon two more grease elementals that pop up here and here. This one is going to move towards you, Kai, and get there, but not attack. This one can move and attack, and so he's going to roll to hit kai. He rolled a 17, I'm sure that hits. And he deals three points of fire damage to you. You okay?

[Travis Willingham]

Ouch.

[Matt Mercer]

This grease elemental sort of slams into you and you're covered with hot, hot burning grease. That's it for walk. Walk's turn. Yasha, you're up.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, boy. Okay, so, gosh, why it's.

[Matt Mercer]

And by the way, Eden, Alex Liebe, she got to attack twice. Not because she's special or anything. When you move out, when a bad guy moves out of range, you're allowed to get a little swipe as they run away.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right.

[Laura Bailey]

Also because she's Special.

[Ashley Johnson]

I mean, you know, I'm usually very strong, but not in this moment. I don't know whether I go for walk walk or the elementals. Let's go for a walk walk.

[Matt Mercer]

All right, let's do.

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's do this one. Okay. Oh, natural 20.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, my gosh. Oh. At the beginning of your turn, you do take some damage. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Fire damage.

[Ashley Johnson]

I was on the grill.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, you were on the grill. Then you take no damage.

[Ashley Johnson]

I was on the grill.

[Matt Mercer]

That's fine. That's fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

Prior to.

[Matt Mercer]

That's fine, that's fine. Okay, that's fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

All right, so I have Divine Fury on my first hit. So that's 1D6.

[Matt Mercer]

You get multiple hits.

[Ashley Johnson]

2D6. No, no, no. Just one. Divine Fury is radiant damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great, great.

[Ashley Johnson]

So where did it go? There it is.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, man, I'm rolling so bad. Okay, so five, seven points of radiant damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Great.

[Ashley Johnson]

And then we've got six points of.

[Matt Mercer]

Regular damage of just like bludgeoning, slashing, slashing, slashing. That's a huge hit, you guys. Watch as Yasha, who is holding this sword that just kind of feels uncomfortable in her hand. She's used to a much more heavy blade, but yet it moves so quickly, and she's just so deft with it, carving through the side of the Panman. Sparks fly. It doesn't do quite as much damage as you thought because he's made of metal, but it does quite a bit of damage. And he shrinks back in pain, turning angrily at you, as you can tell from his face. So angry.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, come at me, Pan.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. Beau, you're up with sky and Padmund on deck.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah, you're rough. At the beginning of your turn, you take four points of heat damage. Oh, no, we're in the same house now.

[Laura Bailey]

We're not. Good. Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We are both in the trenches.

[Matt Mercer]

Beau has seen better days.

[Laura Bailey]

Yes, I have. This is a fucking I fought demagogues, and it's gonna be a pan that does me in. Okay, first and foremost, just a little observational question. This nice little gas range that we're on with the little knobbies on the back.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, are those functional knobbies?

[Matt Mercer]

I mean, they certainly look functional tubes. They're all turned to the full setting.

[Laura Bailey]

They're all turned to the full setting, you genius.

[Matt Mercer]

Wow, Nuts.

[Laura Bailey]

Do I go for a walk?

[Matt Mercer]

Walk?

[Laura Bailey]

Or do I. Okay, yeah, fuck it. Let's do it. I'm gonna disengage from Walk, walk. Okay, I'm gonna Step of the wind and I'm Gonna go for what I'm assuming is the back burner that Walk walk is currently on, which I think is. I think is the far right one.

[Matt Mercer]

Roll intelligence check, I guess.

[Ashley Johnson]

No pop pops for walk Walk.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Just a straight intelligence. Throw the 13.

[Matt Mercer]

I mean, this is Exandria. You know how gas stoves work? They're all over the place.

[Laura Bailey]

It's true. It's true.

[Matt Mercer]

It's fine. Yeah. Danny knows that there are conventional gas ovens all over Exandria. Why not? So you're going for. God, I can't even see over here. I believe it's this burner.

[Laura Bailey]

I don't know how stoves work. Where's Quien when we need her?

[Critical Role Cast]

You do know how stoves work. Yes.

[Matt Mercer]

And what are you gonna try to do?

[Laura Bailey]

Turn it off.

[Matt Mercer]

Turn it off?

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. You, I guess roll a strength check. This is a big knob. That's what she said.

[Laura Bailey]

All right, come on, come on.

[Matt Mercer]

Is this gonna be your action? Cause you could also. I will say this. I will say this. You could also use your staff to knock it if you'd like to. Or that would be like, attack.

[Laura Bailey]

I'll do that. I'll do that. Cause that's better.

[Matt Mercer]

Cause you're not strong.

[Laura Bailey]

Cause I'm not strong.

[Ashley Johnson]

Jesus.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm rolling, like, absolute ass.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, that's gonna be 10 total.

[Matt Mercer]

Sure, sure. You do make contact with it. And it does spin. And now it's on half.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

It definitely did spin. The flame still burns, but a little less. Pan turns around and says, who? Who dares tamper with my flame? You. You.

[Laura Bailey]

Not so tough blonde anymore, are you?

[Ashley Johnson]

That was a bad one.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm gonna spend a ki.

[Matt Mercer]

Point.

[Laura Bailey]

To do. Flurry of blows. Yes. To continue to punch at the knob.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. Punch at the.

[Laura Bailey]

So I'm gonna do two attacks at the knob.

[Matt Mercer]

Yep, Go ahead.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, that one's cacked.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Laura Bailey]

First one is going to be a 20. Total 30.

[Matt Mercer]

20. 100%.

[Laura Bailey]

And the next one is a 12.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, great.

[Matt Mercer]

You don't even have to roll. Damage. The flame turns off, and Pan man is suddenly. If he could bend, he would slump over. It definitely affects him, but he can't bend. So you just get the sense that it's very uncomfortable for him to be less hot. I suppose he suffers no damage, but he's quite annoyed and distracted by this right now. Okay. Okay, I guess it's my turn. That is your turn. Sky and Padmin, you are both up.

[Ashley Johnson]

Good call on those buttons.

[Travis Willingham]

I'll look at you do you have any way to create water?

[Critical Role Cast]

Uh, no. No, I do not.

[Travis Willingham]

Me neither.

[Critical Role Cast]

I got nothing. But I'm feeling tremendous guilt because I. I cast that grease spell, and it ended up hurting Yasha and creating this elemental. And I feel as though I'm just not helping anyone at all. And it makes me very angry.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, yeah.

[Critical Role Cast]

But I also think I'm quite far from this guy.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes, both things can be true.

[Critical Role Cast]

If I run toward him, that's my whole turn.

[Travis Willingham]

Right? I see that you need to get mad. And we go on the same turn, and I'm gonna say, sky, you've believed in us the whole time. We would never have made it here without you. I'll knock him down. You set it up. And I'm gonna go to. I wanna try to knock him towards sky so that she doesn't have to spend her whole turn running. So I wanna try to topple him again and send him in that other direction. And I'm gonna look at him and I'll say, hey, when we got here, we thought, this grid'll be the death of us. You can be nata genius and see that this is a dangerous situation. We saw tay way to work together, and we have the skill it takes to get this done. Time to put you on the back burner. And if it hurts. Hey, buddy, walk it off. I want to. I want to hit him as hard as I can.

[Matt Mercer]

I'll say that. Amazing. He looks down at you and he just says, that was hot. I'll say that. You're not actually going to swing for him. He's balancing on one of the griddles, the grills, and you're going to go. You're going to aim for that and see if you can sort of take his feet out from under him and tilt him forward. Go ahead and roll to see if you can make this attack.

[Travis Willingham]

Hell yeah. I'm gonna roll. Try to hit him. Here we go. Ooh, that's a 16 plus 70 hit.

[Matt Mercer]

Roll for damage just to see how badly you whack this thing. Yeah, go on.

[Travis Willingham]

I'll forego damage to give him disadvantage on his constitution save.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. Okay. Constitution save. I'll roll it on the table. 8. He's already failed. 4. Terrible. Great. So this works. Clang. You watch as Padmen, fueled by this amazing strength that comes from his belt, slams the grill in front of Walkwalk, who is just getting ready to swipe down at Padman for having those amazingly horrible puns. But there's nothing beneath his. His foot anymore. And so he topples forward as he falls. Feel free to take your action, young sky. As he falls and impacts. Boom. Right there in front of you.

[Ashley Johnson]

Right in front. Wow.

[Travis Willingham]

Get his eyes.

[Critical Role Cast]

And I will. I'm going to two handed attack with my dagger and hand axe and throw them.

[Matt Mercer]

I mean, you could hit. You don't even throw.

[Critical Role Cast]

I'm just gonna throw. I'm just gonna.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah.

[Travis Willingham]

You would have to go into a rage at this point.

[Critical Role Cast]

And I. I'm absolutely in a rage. All I've wanted my whole life is to use my magic for good. And instead my magic has somehow backfired. I can't control it and it's caused too much damage and caused too much harm and I've seen my friends in peril too much today. And I'm hideously angry at this beast in particular. And I would like to be in a rage and attack.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Incredible. Incredible. You believe you are so hot right now, but you can't tell if it's the heat of the flames, the heat of the Pan man, or just the heat of your rage and anger boiled up and bottled up for so long and you release it, unleashing it. Go ahead and roll. How does rage work? You roll with advantage.

[Travis Willingham]

You roll with advantage because he's prone.

[Matt Mercer]

That's right. There you go.

[Travis Willingham]

And then you add extra damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Extra damage? Yes. Okay. Go ahead and roll to hit. Please make it good.

[Critical Role Cast]

I'm 17. Roll one more time and 11.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. Cause you get two attacks or. No, we're just.

[Travis Willingham]

She was advantage.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. 17 definitely hits. Go ahead.

[Critical Role Cast]

And then I. Then damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah.

[Travis Willingham]

What weapon are you taking?

[Critical Role Cast]

I am. Well, can I two handed attack? Is that possible?

[Matt Mercer]

Technically you only get one attack at this level, I believe.

[Travis Willingham]

Are you attacking with daggers?

[Critical Role Cast]

Dagger and hand, yes.

[Travis Willingham]

So the dagger could be a light two handed, but you use your bonus action to go into a rage. So it did.

[Matt Mercer]

So then whenever I hit him, I suggest you hit with the hand axe. Cause that'll.

[Critical Role Cast]

Hand axe 1D6 plus 2.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. Okay.

[Critical Role Cast]

Yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. So that's 6.

[Travis Willingham]

That's another 2 for rage.

[Laura Bailey]

That's 8.

[Matt Mercer]

8 points of damage. This hand axe actually makes not just a dent, but a hole in the side of walk Walk. The Pan man doing incredible amounts of damage. Okay, good. He howls in pain. His googly eyes going crazy. He's doing really, really badly. But he's still alive. Oh, gosh. And that's the end of your turn. Or would you like to move? Would you like to do anything else? Do you have any bonus actions Any potions, any items that you try to use?

[Critical Role Cast]

I only have Riz. Can I charisma him to death?

[Matt Mercer]

You can drink the potion of Riz. It'll just make you more charismatic.

[Critical Role Cast]

Yeah, I don't think that's gonna help you right now.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. Then at the top of the round, all of these creatures get a go.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, no.

[Matt Mercer]

They are surrounding Kai.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, no.

[Matt Mercer]

Kai, no.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, Jesus.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm sorry, Kai. They're both gonna attack you. This one is going to fly over and attack Yasha.

[Ashley Johnson]

No.

[Matt Mercer]

All right, the one at Yasha rolled.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That's not good.

[Matt Mercer]

18 plus two to hit. That hits, sure. You take seven points of fire damage. The first one rolled a nine to hit you. Kyle, what's your armor class?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, 14.

[Matt Mercer]

14. This grease ball chomps at you with its greasy teeth, but you deftly dodge it. Nothing. And then the second roll is a six. The second one beside you also tries to grab at you, but instinctively, you know what's behind you. You drop down and it flies right over your head. Both attacks miss. Nice. Top of the round. Jessop, you are up. The pan Man's looking really rough. What would you like to do?

[Liam O'Brien]

He's so close to me. What I wanted. I want to use my sorcerer's Burst. Cause I'm right there, but I'm really starting to panic.

[Matt Mercer]

Horrifying. Horrifying. That's great. At the top of the turn, by the way, you do take two points of fire damage.

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, I'm really low now.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

What are you at?

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm at A one.

[Matt Mercer]

No problem. No problem. You're still alive. Still alive. Still alive. So you're gonna fire a sorceress burst.

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm gonna attempt to.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, go ahead and roll a D6 and see if this works.

[Laura Bailey]

Come on. Come on.

[Liam O'Brien]

Jessup5.

[Matt Mercer]

I believe it does work. Even though you're anxious, nervous chaos is all around you. You remember the things that your friends have said about breathing. Taking it slow. You focus yourself.

[Liam O'Brien]

There's a song whispering in my ear.

[Critical Role Cast]

Yes, you do, you do. Zorboz one. Zorbo's all. Let's all do the Zorbo call.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It's a very beautiful song.

[Travis Willingham]

I think I may have been absent on the day that was created.

[Matt Mercer]

Your eye lights up with a glowing glint and fires out a sorcerer's burst. Just a subtle reminder. I think as a bonus action, you can give yourself advantage on this attack with the innate sorcery.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come on.

[Liam O'Brien]

But I feel like for a bonus action, I should take up.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm learning.

[Travis Willingham]

Nice, Mia. That's some sick dming back there.

[Matt Mercer]

By the end of three episodes, I've gotten one good thing right?

[Liam O'Brien]

But should I, as a bonus action, be taking my healing potion because I'm about to die?

[Matt Mercer]

That is up to you. You have it for next round.

[Liam O'Brien]

Okay?

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Then I will use my innate sorcerer to for advantage.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. Gathering all of your strength, all of your courage, go ahead and roll with advantage to see if you hit with this sorceress burst. Okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

Not great. That was a. Why can't I read these sixes and nines. Six.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. And I believe you get advantage, so roll one more time.

[Liam O'Brien]

And seven.

[Travis Willingham]

Ooh.

[Matt Mercer]

Plus Jessup plus five. Oh, 12. Your sorceress burst just barely misses and shoots wide. I'm so sorry. Just misses and fires off into the aether. But it was a dramatic and exciting move. That's your move, unfortunately. Jesup Kai, you're up.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So I do have something.

[Matt Mercer]

It was very good.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Very good. I do have something in here.

[Laura Bailey]

It's okay.

[Liam O'Brien]

You guys don't need to lie to me.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'll do better next time.

[Matt Mercer]

You do have a movement, though, so you could perch yourself up on iron so you don't get burned. Okay, so maybe moving over here. Over here?

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah, that one.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, great. You're sitting right next to a dead and dying slab of bacon. Great. Cool. Smells good, though. Yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I have an initiative swap as one of my features.

[Matt Mercer]

That would have happened earlier. However, tell me what you want to do with it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Okay, well, if it can't happen now, I'm not going to do that.

[Matt Mercer]

Basically, you can switch places in the order with one person. That means he would be going later, I guess.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Yeah, but that's okay. I'll forego that.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

What I'm going to do is I'm gonna assume that. Cause he goes after me, walk, walk after me.

[Matt Mercer]

He does.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm gonna assume that he's gonna get up. Therefore, I wanna take my rope that I had.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

And I wanna toss it over to Padman.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. Where is Padme? Right there. Oh, right next to the thing. Yes. Okay, great.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

So I'm gonna toss my rope over to you. And my hope is that once he gets up, we could just trip him one more time.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Okay. So you're preparing for the next round and I guess. Are you holding your action until he gets up and then you'll sort of sweep?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I think so.

[Matt Mercer]

Sweep at the rope. Okay, great. Do you want to move? Just throwing it out there that if you do move, these guys may attack you. As you try to get away, I'm.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Going to stay here and risk it.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Okay. You stay put. Grab.

[Travis Willingham]

Should I grab the rope? And I see him, and I see that we're trying to move that, and I think I've got a plan. So I'm looking at Kai. Kai, you're surrounded by gray salamentals.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I know. It's not great.

[Travis Willingham]

They're killing you.

[Matt Mercer]

They are.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'm very hurt, by the way.

[Travis Willingham]

Oh, no. Okay, grab that and I'm ready.

[Matt Mercer]

I'll wait for my turn as a bonus action. You do. You could. I think you have a potion.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That's right, I do.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm just throwing it out there. You don't have to use it now. I'm just saying that you have it.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, I've learned my lesson. I'm using it now.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm pumping that. I'm pumping that now. Okay, so go ahead and roll 2D4. That's the pyramid ones.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That's a 4, and that's another 4.

[Matt Mercer]

You're back to full. You pop the cork on that, baby, you're back to full. Okay. Incredible. Yasha, Bo, you're both up. Okay, I'm sorry. No, walk. Walk is up. Walk is up. And he's gonna try to stand as he stands. He's gonna go out of melee with you, young barbarian. So you get another swipe at it.

[Laura Bailey]

If you guys come on.

[Matt Mercer]

Go ahead and attack.

[Travis Willingham]

Hell, yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

Roll a D20 to attack if you'd like to.

[Critical Role Cast]

Yes, I'd like to. I'm gonna say no to that. 17 definitely hits.

[Matt Mercer]

Roll for damage plus rage. So 1d6 plus 2 plus 2.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

Come on.

[Critical Role Cast]

2 plus 2 plus 2, 6.

[Matt Mercer]

Incredible. Ooh, he's hurt. Oh, he's hurt. He's looking really rough.

[Critical Role Cast]

How strong is this guy? Very strong.

[Matt Mercer]

He's made of metal. He's also. It makes me madder. Yep. Okay, great, great, great. Walk. Walk the pan, man. He's not really in range of anybody else. Oh, wait, he's going to use his. He's going to try to search the two that are in front of him in range. He's going to fire a cone of grease. He can get both of you, just barely.

[Travis Willingham]

Is that Jessup and me?

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. And he fires a cone of grease. Make a dexterity save to see if you can avoid this spray of grease.

[Critical Role Cast]

Oh, my gosh.

[Liam O'Brien]

Thirteen plus zero.

[Travis Willingham]

Nine plus one is ten.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, Jessup, you managed to just barely get out of the way. You take no damage.

[Liam O'Brien]

God, that would have killed me.

[Travis Willingham]

I know. Oh, no.

[Matt Mercer]

And Padmin, you take four points of damage.

[Laura Bailey]

Padmin, no.

[Travis Willingham]

I drank that healing potion. Right.

[Matt Mercer]

You are at full.

[Travis Willingham]

I have three hit points left.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, that's his move. Yasha Bo, you're up.

[Laura Bailey]

So wait, is Padman down?

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, wait, no, no.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah. Meaning I am okay.

[Matt Mercer]

You are okay.

[Travis Willingham]

As he hot grease on me, I'm gonna look up and go, bonjour, mama. I didn't know we were trying to cook some frog legs. I'm badly injured.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

It smells good in here.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. And as he turns to you, Padman, just so that I can say another pun, he's just going to say, soon you'll be off the menu.

[Ashley Johnson]

You bailed out on the menu.

[Matt Mercer]

I did. I bailed out on all of them on the menu. Off the. God, you kids.

[Ashley Johnson]

This will be okay.

[Matt Mercer]

All right, all right. What you got?

[Ashley Johnson]

I have a weird idea.

[Matt Mercer]

Great.

[Ashley Johnson]

So the burst that you did, was it like a physical burst? Like a magical.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes, yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Is there any way that I can sort of see that it's going wide and just kind of like bat it with my greatsword into Walk Walk to do like a combined.

[Matt Mercer]

The sorcerer's burst is. Describe it. It's like a burst of radiance, or. What is it?

[Liam O'Brien]

Yeah. Of powerful force that shot out of my monocle.

[Matt Mercer]

And as you watched it, as it was flying towards Walk Walk with the Pan man, he held up his very shiny mirror finished spatula, which did block it, and it shot out into the world. But you can see in the distance that it has been sort of knocking around and it is flying, currently flying back. It would be pretty hard to catch, but you could catch lightning in a bottle and you could possibly deflect it towards him. It would take quite a move.

[Ashley Johnson]

What kind of move would it make?

[Matt Mercer]

Or what kind of move would it take? I'll say it's flying right this way, fizzling out as it goes. And you would have to roll an acrobatics check to see if you can do a bow type move.

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, acrobatics is terrible. Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

All right.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm just gonna take a. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

[Matt Mercer]

You're bailing.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm bailing.

[Matt Mercer]

Your wife has taught you acrobatics for years.

[Laura Bailey]

I have not screwed up.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

You know what?

[Ashley Johnson]

Let's just try. Let's just see if it works. Let's just see if it works. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

[Matt Mercer]

All right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. What did I need to get.

[Matt Mercer]

I would say a 15.

[Ashley Johnson]

No, I didn't do it.

[Matt Mercer]

Sorry. So Yasha jumps off of this grease creature, does a double backflip, just like she's seen her wife do a hundred times, but she's much, much larger and heavier. Doesn't get the ups that her wife does. I landed between them, and you just fall short of the blast, and you just. You fall on your hip.

[Travis Willingham]

It really hurts.

[Matt Mercer]

Your keys were in there. Oh, yeah. And I'll say that you take.

[Travis Willingham]

This is the big, chunky medieval king.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

And take three points of damage as you land. Oh, boy. That's your action?

[Ashley Johnson]

That's my action.

[Matt Mercer]

Bow, you're up.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, very torn here. I don't know if turning off fire is worth my time.

[Ashley Johnson]

But he got a little droopy, right?

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. And also, he's moving well. Now he's back on flame again. But he got droopy. He moved with half speed. He couldn't do his teleporting. Yes, it does help.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, yeah, that's still lame. So I'm still not gonna mess with the oven anymore. I see Kai and Padme setting up this move, and I see what they're trying to do, and I'm kind of delirious, and I think the fumes are starting to get to me as well as this potion. So I turn and I look at Kai, and I see him flanked by these grease monsters. And I go, my boy. Little Bo, I'm coming to save you. And I run.

[Matt Mercer]

Yep.

[Laura Bailey]

I run 40ft.

[Matt Mercer]

Yep.

[Ashley Johnson]

Get back.

[Laura Bailey]

Leave Lil Bob alone. And I'm gonna do two big swing. Well, I'll start with just one big swing to the first one.

[Matt Mercer]

Go ahead and roll the hit.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay. 12 hits. Rolling like ass hits.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah, no, that's okay. I'm easy enough.

[Laura Bailey]

Swing at the first is one looking a little more rough.

[Matt Mercer]

Neither have taken any damage.

[Laura Bailey]

Neither have taken any damage. Okay, fine. The first one is going to take cheese louise 5 bludgeoning damage.

[Matt Mercer]

That one's gone great. Yay.

[Laura Bailey]

And I'm gonna spend my last ki point to pop, pop, and do two unarmed strikes at the next one.

[Matt Mercer]

Amazing.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay, I believe those both hit. That's gonna be. The first one's a 16. So 22 for the first one and then 14 for the second. These are D4s. These are. I am not prepared. Where's my dice? Here we go. Okay, first one. Oh, that's better than my damn staff. That's gonna be eight damage.

[Matt Mercer]

Dead.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

Gone.

[Laura Bailey]

And I just look at him, and I go finish this.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I look at I look at him and I go.

[Laura Bailey]

Say it.

[Matt Mercer]

My counselor.

[Ashley Johnson]

Hey there, critters. This is Ashley Johnson and Telus and Jeffy, and we're popping in here to talk about our new podcast on Beacon, Weird Kids.

[Marisha Ray]

In this series, we're diving into our lives as former child actors, from unraveling our eccentric upbringings to embracing all the delightfully odd interests we still have.

[Ashley Johnson]

Today, we're covering so many topics like antique toys, taxidermy, Japanese pop culture, and honestly, anything else we come up with.

[Marisha Ray]

Weird Kids is available exclusively on Beacon. But good news, we're offering a one month free trial on Beacon tv, so you can take a look before you become a member. Just use the code weirdos at Beacon TV to start the trial.

[Ashley Johnson]

You can also find fellow weirdos by following the series on our heweirdkidspod Instagram and using the hashtag weirdkids.

[Marisha Ray]

So, to all the misfits, outcasts, and weirdos out there, come take a seat at our table and celebrate all things unconventional, nostalgic, and wonderfully weird. Welcome to Weird Kids.

[Ashley Johnson]

New episodes release every Tuesday.

[Matt Mercer]

Sky and Padman, you are both up. Padman, you are sort of doing an action in concert with with Kai. But whatever you order, you guys want to do.

[Travis Willingham]

I've got the rope, so I'd like to do the first part of an action to use this rope with Kai to try to once again trip walk. Right. But I think too, I want to look at. Does walk walk go before Jessop and Kai go?

[Matt Mercer]

No, Jessup and Kai go before Walkwalk.

[Travis Willingham]

Cool. So in that case, I can delay my turn. I'll send my turn down the initiative order to go along with Kai.

[Matt Mercer]

Great.

[Travis Willingham]

But does Jessup go before Kai or no?

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Travis Willingham]

Yes. So in that case, on my turn, I'll ready an action to go with Kai.

[Laura Bailey]

Well, and Kai delayed his action to go with you.

[Travis Willingham]

Oh, he did? Oh, you did. Okay, so we're doing the same thing. Great.

[Laura Bailey]

We'll go the same.

[Travis Willingham]

And now there's no talking opportunity, so I'll look at you and say, let's do it. But I want an Audrey interaction. I see Jessop panicking, and I think, I have this item that I got, which is a box of tea, and it goes. It's oolong.

[Matt Mercer]

It is oolong. It's very familiar.

[Travis Willingham]

I look at Jesse panicking, and I look at this tea and think about the calm of drinking a cup of tea in the morning, looking over this beautiful campsite, and I go. And I go, jessop, it's okay.

[Matt Mercer]

What?

[Travis Willingham]

You're an incredible sorcerer.

[Matt Mercer]

What the tea.

[Travis Willingham]

Center yourself. Breathe in the fragrance. And I want to hurl the box of tea right at Jessop's face.

[Matt Mercer]

I guess. Rolla, Delicious. Roll a athletics.

[Travis Willingham]

14 plus 5 is 19.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. Not only do you throw it, you open the box as you release and fragrant tea leaves flit about you, combining with the heat of the area. And you are just sort of. You're in a brief moment of paradise where all other stress fades away and it's just you imagine yourself. Well, I'm not gonna tell you what you imagine. You imagine a very peaceful, serene moment, maybe from your past or from your future. Where are you right now?

[Liam O'Brien]

I'm thinking about this moment by the lake with my friend over here. When we first got here, Sky, I was really nervous for this camp. Sky sat down beside me and said, hey, Jessup, you're going to do great. And for a moment, I believed her. Right now, I believe her.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. All your stress is gone. Wow. You are restored to zero. Amazing. Would you like to use the rest of your action to continue this move with.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah, we're going to do this team move here.

[Matt Mercer]

Both of you roll a D20 just to see how this works.

[Travis Willingham]

11 plus 5 is 16 for athletics.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Athletics. That's where it is. So I have an 18 plus three. That's 21.

[Matt Mercer]

Incredible. So you guys both take this rope using all your motion and you kind of jump over and go around him, trading places. Let's say tying him up. He cannot resist. He's gonna roll a constitution save to see if he gets thrown forward.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah. I think at the end, as we scrambled up in the rope, I'll do the finishing move with a long one handed base of the quarter staff. As I swing this massive wooden staff at the bottom of his pan, I go, oh, and I thought you were a non stick pan.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I'll look up at him and I'll yell, hey, ugly. You're not gonna like how this pans out.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, Jesus.

[Travis Willingham]

Your performance has been universally panned.

[Matt Mercer]

As he falls, he looks at both of you with sort of like begrudging respect. Well played. Well played. He's falling forward. Everything sort of clicks into slow motion as he falls forward. The direction he's falling, he wobbles left, wobbles right, and he's falling right between sky and Jessop. And as he falls, both of you simultaneously, it's your turn. Both of you can make an attack together.

[Laura Bailey]

Come on.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. Yes. Cause you're next, Padmin. I'm sorry, Skye's next.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

And Jessup's after her additional context. When we were crossing paths with the rope, we did a sick high five.

[Travis Willingham]

Absolutely, absolutely insane, fucking twisted high five. Absolutely metal high five.

[Matt Mercer]

Did you just out of curiosity, do you bend down to high five him or do you leap up to high five?

[Travis Willingham]

Actually, I'm holding my staff and my web feet and I come underneath my own legs, like through. It's like up there and then come back around, hit the back of his foot. It's hard to look at this high five. It's like an MCS you're drawing of staircases.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

A loud sound resonates throughout the space.

[Matt Mercer]

Both of you can attack together. Whatever you'd like to do.

[Critical Role Cast]

What do you got?

[Liam O'Brien]

I think so. I have this. A brain.

[Matt Mercer]

You found a brain in a jar?

[Liam O'Brien]

Sure, yeah. A brain in a jar suspended in liquid. It smells gross. I'm gonna take this brain in the jar and crack the smelly jar open and throw it onto the. Throw it onto the pan to forever ruin its cooking abilities and drown it in this terrible smelling grape.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. And sky, what are you doing?

[Critical Role Cast]

Yeah, I'm pretty close to it. I'm gonna take my hand axe and I'm going to scrape off its non stick coating.

[Matt Mercer]

It's been seasoned for years. It has this beautiful patina on it.

[Critical Role Cast]

That's the secret of its success. That's the secret of its strength. And it's very proud of that. And so it will add insult to injury if I can. If I could carry it off.

[Matt Mercer]

You roll to see if you hit. I think for you just roll a D20, I guess athletics to see if you can toss this at it. Do I add anything to this is for an attack.

[Laura Bailey]

Your attack modifier minus.

[Liam O'Brien]

I got two.

[Matt Mercer]

That's fine.

[Travis Willingham]

I mean, you don't need to with prone. Is that advantage?

[Matt Mercer]

Oh, for sure it's an advantage with prone. Go ahead. Both of you get advantage because it's prone.

[Critical Role Cast]

Oh, thank goodness.

[Liam O'Brien]

17 minus 1. 17.

[Matt Mercer]

Amazing. Amazing.

[Critical Role Cast]

10 a little better. Wait, do I add anything?

[Matt Mercer]

This is. You're doing your attack right with your.

[Ashley Johnson]

Your hand axe.

[Critical Role Cast]

Yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

So that's a plus four to hit. Yes, yes, that's right. So that's a 14 to hit. Yeah, yeah.

[Travis Willingham]

Which is.

[Critical Role Cast]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Laura Bailey]

I can get the wrong thing on. Plus four.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

Yes.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay, 14 roll for damage.

[Critical Role Cast]

Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

You. Yes. One D6, plus two. Plus two.

[Critical Role Cast]

D6.

[Matt Mercer]

Plus two. Plus two. Filled with anger, rage bubbling up.

[Critical Role Cast]

It's five, seven.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. The contents of the jar, which is a brain, but it's Filled with sort of a weird, viscous syrupy liquid spills out over the Pan Man's face. He recoils in pain. Ah, no. This is. No, it's rusting me. And you see this brain sort of skittering across, and you smash right down on the brain, shattering it. How do you guys wanna do this? You are. You have killed Walk Walk the Pan Man. How do you want him to die?

[Laura Bailey]

How do you wanna Fawn do this?

[Critical Role Cast]

Okay, so we. I think that he's still a little hot, so the brains kind of sizzle. And I say to him. Cause I know it's gonna really hurt his feelings. That's the most brains you've ever had.

[Matt Mercer]

Great. Great.

[Ashley Johnson]

Very insulting.

[Liam O'Brien]

And my impulses, you know, we've been on this ride together. Olga's. We've all grown a lot. We've had friends along the way that we've lost. And I'd like for us all to have a role in this.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Friend along the way that we lost.

[Travis Willingham]

Yes.

[Matt Mercer]

Our choice.

[Liam O'Brien]

We had a vision. He came back very briefly for a cameo. And I'd love for us all to have a hand in taking this guy down. Is that a thing that we can do?

[Matt Mercer]

Absolutely. If you want to wait until Kai and Padmen come over to join you. You all stand around the pan bubbling with heat. And you all can do whatever sort of action you'd like to. To finish it off.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I say we just start kicking the shit out of you.

[Travis Willingham]

Hell yeah. Hey, whose brain was that? I know that I'm really locked into this moment of camaraderie with you guys, but you didn't mention that you had that, so I'm alarmed. But let's do it.

[Matt Mercer]

Let's do it.

[Ashley Johnson]

That's a tomorrow.

[Matt Mercer]

Okay. Yes. You curb stomp. You curb stomp the pan to death.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm gonna be watching this from the Great. And I'm just gonna take a knee and put my sword down. Just watch.

[Laura Bailey]

I walk over to Yasha and I just kind of like, as she's on her knee, just kind of like hug her from behind.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

And we just.

[Ashley Johnson]

We did it.

[Laura Bailey]

We did it.

[Ashley Johnson]

They're so good.

[Laura Bailey]

They're so violent.

[Ashley Johnson]

They're so violent.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm so proud.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. He's beaten into oblivion. Looks like I'm well done. And he's dead forever. Dead and gone. All of the cook surfaces calm themselves. The fires died down. The grease elementals disappear from view. Everything starts to slowly disintegrate around you. It looks like the entire space that you're in is starting to disintegrate. Melting, Falling away. In fact, it's looking quite dangerous when all of a sudden, a purple and blue glow light lights up the chamber and a familiar voice beckons. Oh, campers, I'm afraid it's curfew. Mishi, the curfew creature is somehow, inexplicably right in front of you. Before you have a moment to react. Poof. A warm radiance washes over the six of you, and you are teleported back to the central meeting point of Wildemount Wildlings camp. The hubbub Hub. Mishi delivers you to this spot and says, congratulations. It looks like you had an eventful day. Let me know when those cards come out, will you?

[Travis Willingham]

Is this real?

[Matt Mercer]

She pinches you and it feels real.

[Travis Willingham]

Face covered in blood. I'm like half cooked, holding a staff. So violent. I'll never be normal again.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

That just means the cards get even better.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah. Oh, right. We had a thing with cards. Sorry. I'm not doing okay.

[Matt Mercer]

You are at the central meeting hub of the camp. You notice that in your absence, the campers have returned. Yeza had alerted Veth and the others about what was going on. The campers had returned for safety and insurance reasons. They all gather around to hear what happened, many of them with scared faces and impressed faces as you guys regale them, explaining the events of the afternoon. The bizarre monsters at the Magic meadow, the strange maze of food, the scary childlike encounters you somehow overcame. As you do, the campers are on the edge of their seats, wrapped by your every word. Even Drock Winterforge, the guy who had mocked you earlier, he's like, oh, my God, you guys. That sounds awesome. Finally, as you finish telling them about the day's events, Veth takes center stage and says, well, it looks like I was right about you all. After all. I always knew you had what it takes to be true. Wildlings never had a single doubt. Which is why I'm proud to say. Well, I'm not gonna say anything. You two. Did they. Did they pass their exams today?

[Ashley Johnson]

With flying colors.

[Laura Bailey]

With flying colors.

[Ashley Johnson]

We. And. And I'm making pretend we said that.

[Laura Bailey]

At the same time.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

Flying colors.

[Matt Mercer]

Did you guys rehearse this?

[Ashley Johnson]

No, I just. We felt it in the moment.

[Laura Bailey]

Bishop. Mary, you know.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah. It's shorthand. We finish each other's sentences. Sentences. I'm gonna make sure that all of the campers here, they all saved our lives. Had they not been there, two members of the Mighty Nein would have been dead.

[Laura Bailey]

It's true.

[Matt Mercer]

You do look like shit right now.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, I feel like total hats shit. Gonna have to have a serious talk with Caleb and Yeza about whatever the hell that potion was.

[Ashley Johnson]

That was unfair.

[Laura Bailey]

That was very unfair.

[Ashley Johnson]

I still feel like we could have done this with our full. At full capacity. Yeah, I'm not gonna kill a child.

[Laura Bailey]

No, I've only punched like two kids.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, I don't even know if I.

[Matt Mercer]

Punched any punch kids.

[Laura Bailey]

You have seen me punch kids. But they deserved a.

[Matt Mercer]

My child also died in your care once.

[Laura Bailey]

Well, well, that is a little different. No, no, Luke's fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

That was.

[Matt Mercer]

Look at him.

[Laura Bailey]

He's fine.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah, that was a bad. That was a bad mothering choice that you sent him with us.

[Matt Mercer]

True, true.

[Ashley Johnson]

So I'm just gonna put that on you.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Travis Willingham]

Padman, Director Veth I have a question.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes?

[Travis Willingham]

Were the events that we experienced today real or figments of a powerful illusion magic?

[Matt Mercer]

You know, I don't really know. Honestly, I don't know how this happened. And as she says that, Yeza stands forward saying, actually, I have a theory about this. I think it might be my fault. Earlier I was experimenting with dunamancy in my lab. It's a chaotic and unpredictable form of metaphysical magic that can bend reality, physics, time, space. Caleb lent me a small vial of Dunamis and I was trying to create some potions from it. And I believe earlier one of my potions, poof. Went and exploded by accident. Yasha, you were there, weren't you? When that explosion saw the poof come.

[Ashley Johnson]

Out and then I felt drunk.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. I think maybe that Dunamantic explosion had some sort of unintended effect. Apologies, but sometimes Dunamis can access the parts of us that we are. Unexplored or unknown. Emotional states, anxiety, imagination, that sort of thing. Does any of that ring true to you?

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, of course, I have all those things at all times.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes. And those monsters, did they mean anything to you?

[Ashley Johnson]

Well, I feel like.

[Laura Bailey]

Is this some repressed childhood trauma or something?

[Travis Willingham]

Who was with the two sharks?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

And one of them had a hat on. What was that all about?

[Ashley Johnson]

Oh, interesting.

[Laura Bailey]

And scub. Gub.

[Ashley Johnson]

See? See? So there's a. I have a journal, okay? And I draw. There's a whole entire section that is just like modern art style, you know? What's the word I'm looking for?

[Laura Bailey]

Expressionism.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes, like expressionism. So I draw things.

[Matt Mercer]

As she flips through the pages, you see very, very similar pictures.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm trying to make it seem like.

[Matt Mercer]

It'S to the ones that you saw.

[Ashley Johnson]

I draw Much better than this.

[Matt Mercer]

You see one called Dark World, which reminds you of that horrifying dimension of shadows that you.

[Ashley Johnson]

I actually, if I'm going to be honest with you, I'm developing a comic, so I have been very proud of hearing about your.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

We could do a collaboration down the line.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, but it is. It's for kids, right?

[Matt Mercer]

It's for kids.

[Ashley Johnson]

Which is why it looks the way that it. That it does.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Liam O'Brien]

Which is why is this responsible for the shade of my skin changing to that other shade of blue?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

No, I think that was your fault.

[Matt Mercer]

I think that's unrelated. Dudamancy has been known to interact with strong desires or feelings or repressed worries.

[Ashley Johnson]

They were coming alive because of what was in my head.

[Matt Mercer]

Somehow dunamantic magic took control of the pages of your notebook and somehow brought them to life.

[Ashley Johnson]

This is embarrassing.

[Matt Mercer]

It's embarrassing for me. I made this happen as well. I'm so sorry.

[Ashley Johnson]

I mean, like, why didn't you pick the parts of the journal?

[Matt Mercer]

I didn't pick the parts of the journal.

[Ashley Johnson]

I'm not getting. Whatever.

[Matt Mercer]

Anyway, I apologize. Veth steps forward and says, you know what? Maybe no one should admit fault just for legal reasons.

[Laura Bailey]

I'm not.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes, this was all a big whoopsie. But that. You know what? Sometimes that happens at the wildlings camp and we roll with it. Right.

[Travis Willingham]

As soon as I get home, I will be asking my mom to pursue vigorous legal action against.

[Matt Mercer]

What if. What if I were to sweeten the pot for you? Padman, you've wanted to become a wizard, correct?

[Travis Willingham]

Yes, very much so.

[Matt Mercer]

I could possibly write a strong letter of recommendation to the Soltris Academy, the foremost academy for wizards. I happen to know someone who works there and maybe they could get you in free of charge. Wow.

[Travis Willingham]

Be a great wizard. I'm gonna look at my friends. But there's nowhere in all of exandria that can teach me what my friends have already taught me. So no. I'll be suing the camp at shutting it down.

[Matt Mercer]

All right, Understood.

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't disagree.

[Travis Willingham]

Or me and my friends get to come back for free and we don't have to be in the older cabin anymore.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Also, what are you wearing right now?

[Matt Mercer]

I'm wearing my camp outfit. My hat. My.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I want that hat.

[Matt Mercer]

I mean, this is the camp director's hat.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

I want that hat.

[Laura Bailey]

Give him the damn hat, Veth.

[Matt Mercer]

But I have hat hair right now.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Legal actions.

[Matt Mercer]

Legal actions.

[Travis Willingham]

Free tuition. We get to. To be in a normal non shade based cabin and we get your hat and call it Even Stevens.

[Laura Bailey]

We also all owe you autographs.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes, that's right.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Not you, though.

[Ashley Johnson]

I just want that. If you still want them, we can.

[Travis Willingham]

So we're trying to arrive at a settlement right now. So if you guys have anything you want to throw in there, because afterwards it'll be double jeopardy.

[Laura Bailey]

So you have to.

[Liam O'Brien]

Do you have any more of that tea left?

[Matt Mercer]

Was there tea involved?

[Liam O'Brien]

There was this oolong tea that would smell just delightful.

[Matt Mercer]

That's my tea. I drink that every day. That's my tea. I import that from Marquette.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Put the tea in the hat.

[Travis Willingham]

Tea, hat. Normal, non shame based cabin, free tuition, and there's no living room.

[Matt Mercer]

What do you want, Skullcrusher?

[Critical Role Cast]

I just want to stay here. Will you allow me to come back?

[Matt Mercer]

How about this? In addition to all those things which I will reluctantly grant, you all get a merit badge as well. And you can pick whatever merit badge you like or name your own.

[Critical Role Cast]

I, I, I'd like a friendship badge.

[Matt Mercer]

A friendship badge? Well, that's very.

[Critical Role Cast]

I was gonna say take the wizard one.

[Matt Mercer]

Cause. No, no. Friendship is somehow more meaningful. No, no, no. Wizard's good, too. Whatever you'd like, but that's very sweet. We don't have a friendship badge here, but maybe you're the first to earn it. And yes, yes, you're right. Jessop, I know that some of your counselors, and even myself have been saying, follow your barbarian instincts and don't be a wizard. It's not what you were meant to be. But you know what I think I'm wrong about that. You should be whatever you'd like to be if you want to be a wizard. Barbarian. That's fantastic. Do that. Why should we stand in the way of your dreams? This isn't a place that says no to dreams. We say yes. Right?

[Critical Role Cast]

I've never. That's music to my ears. I still have a lot to work through with my rage and magic and figuring out how to integrate the two sides of myself. But if I could take wizarding classes going forward and not the more brutal barbarian ones, I'd really like that.

[Matt Mercer]

Absolutely. In fact, I will schedule a private lesson with Caleb Widowgast to make sure that you have a proper spellbook and all the components you need. You can do both. You can sort of multi class if you wish.

[Ashley Johnson]

It's not a bad idea.

[Critical Role Cast]

I was never threatening legal action, but now even less so.

[Matt Mercer]

Batman.

[Travis Willingham]

Yeah.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Summon Archibald and see what he wants.

[Travis Willingham]

Can I summon Archibald?

[Matt Mercer]

Sure. Quickly enough. Archibald comes to life. Well. Whoa. What is this place?

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Hey, Buddy, I owe you one. Go ahead, ask this person what you want.

[Matt Mercer]

Is this what life is?

[Liam O'Brien]

Oh, boy. He brought him back for more than six months.

[Travis Willingham]

Oh, Archibald, you missed a lot. We're engaged in a legal settlement right now. So we're talking to the director of a camp that has engaged in some criminal negligence of minors. And so right now we have a hat, a bunch of tea, some wizarding classes as a merit badge.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

What do you want, man?

[Travis Willingham]

Free tuition are all currently on the table for us. Is there anything you want, Archibald? You actually gave the most today. You died.

[Matt Mercer]

I've never experienced true love.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

Oh, wow.

[Travis Willingham]

All right, we might have to back that up.

[Critical Role Cast]

I've got a magazine I could give him.

[Matt Mercer]

That's right. Oh, look. Can I see it?

[Critical Role Cast]

Here, Archibald, this will open your.

[Matt Mercer]

Whoa. Archibald uses his little frog legs to turn the pages until he gets to a particularly saucy bit, and he says, this is true love. I'm gonna need a few minutes. And he drags it away.

[Travis Willingham]

I don't think Archibald has the hardware to do anything in private with that magazine.

[Matt Mercer]

But for the next few minutes, you hear horrifying sounds coming out of the bathroom. Squeaky sounds. Sort of like a sponge being squeezed.

[Taliesin Jaffe]

This was a great decision.

[Matt Mercer]

And after all is said and done, Veth gathers you all together and says, we can't seem to have a normal day at camp, can we? But you know what? That's perfect. Normal is over, safety is boring, and insurance can go fuck itself. I am proud of the four of you. You didn't make good choices. You didn't make safe choices, but you did live up to the spirit of the camp. You wiled it out. And for that, I'm happy to award you with these friendship merit badges. And upon receiving these badges, the ogres have earned the rank of 3 free below can stay at the camp for free. Nice advance to the next year. And, oh, yes, sorry, you also get my fucking hat.

[Critical Role Cast]

And your teeth.

[Ashley Johnson]

And my teeth.

[Matt Mercer]

How am I gonna wake up tomorrow? Fine. That's my problem, not yours. Can I get a wild out? 3, 2, 1. Wild out. Thus ends our tale, A story of acting your age, which doesn't mean acting older or wiser or better. It means staying young as long as you can. I'd love to thank Ashley Johnson. It's Marisha something. Marisha Rae. Ashley. Eden Riegel. My sister Lee.

[Travis Willingham]

Babe.

[Matt Mercer]

My sister Brennan. Lee Mulligan. My sister. Thank you all so much for watching. Oh, and thank you to ikeo. I'm gonna say his name wrong. Lassa ball. Lacable KO. Yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Matt Mercer]

He made this. Amazing.

[Ashley Johnson]

Matt, it's so great.

[Matt Mercer]

And those grills.

[Laura Bailey]

He's probably standing right.

[Matt Mercer]

I think those grills are from Kyle's apartment or something. Oh, my gosh.

[Critical Role Cast]

You gotta get those badges.

[Laura Bailey]

Borrowing.

[Ashley Johnson]

He'll use these for Disney.

[Matt Mercer]

Incredible.

[Critical Role Cast]

Starving.

[Matt Mercer]

Thanks to everyone who helped out with the music. Thanks to the kids again for coming up with these wonderful monsters that Yasha definitely drew.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yes.

[Matt Mercer]

Love you all very much. And until next time. Is it Thursday yet? Bye. Bye. Amid the hubbub, amid the excitement and the relief of this, a celebration of sorts. Veth steps away from the Olgas for just a moment to just have a quick chat with Yasha and Beau. I sup. Sorry.

[Ashley Johnson]

No, really, this was quite fun, but I have notes.

[Laura Bailey]

Oh, I hope we didn't let you down, by the way.

[Matt Mercer]

Let me down? You did exactly right. I was sort of expecting you guys to mess stuff up a little bit and. And that they would be, you know, challenged, pushed.

[Ashley Johnson]

It was very stressful. Like, I was very nervous having the responsibility of the kids. But we talked about it and it was actually. It was kind of cool.

[Laura Bailey]

It was kind of invigorating.

[Matt Mercer]

Yeah. So, I mean, I know that you two were talking about stuff, like serious grown up stuff before. Did you ever come to sort of a realization, a decision?

[Ashley Johnson]

I think. I think we're still talking about it a lot.

[Critical Role Cast]

But we had an idea.

[Laura Bailey]

What if.

[Matt Mercer]

Cause I know which one of you is gonna get pregnant first. Hold on a second. Wait, wait.

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't know.

[Matt Mercer]

I really want to see.

[Ashley Johnson]

The thing is, we are getting. I don't know if it's the time.

[Matt Mercer]

Your abs would be like crazy.

[Laura Bailey]

Just be like an olive bun on.

[Matt Mercer]

A toothpick and you would have a 20 pound kid.

[Ashley Johnson]

Why?

[Laura Bailey]

I don't know.

[Matt Mercer]

You're big.

[Laura Bailey]

That's not how.

[Matt Mercer]

I'm small. I don't know.

[Laura Bailey]

I know. Just shut up for a second. Listen, look, we talked about it. We do think we want to take this plunge into parenthood.

[Matt Mercer]

Yes.

[Ashley Johnson]

Yeah.

[Laura Bailey]

But maybe we could start. We know that Kai doesn't really have a family or anywhere to go. You think he'd want to come live with us? I know he's old and he's basically an adult now, but like a foster sort of thing.

[Matt Mercer]

Adoption.

[Critical Role Cast]

Yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

Like, you know, he can if he wants someone to. To people to hang out with or take care of him. For two years.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, just a bed, you know, just try it out. Give him some kind of.

[Ashley Johnson]

Not try it out. Not like we'd send him back or anything. We would take care of him.

[Laura Bailey]

Take care of him.

[Matt Mercer]

I love this idea.

[Laura Bailey]

And then maybe. Maybe he could be a big brother, you know?

[Matt Mercer]

Maybe I could feel it. Babe, stay right here. Stay right here for one second. I'll be right back.

[Laura Bailey]

She's never coming back, is she?

[Ashley Johnson]

I don't think so.

[Laura Bailey]

Okay.

[Matt Mercer]

Oh. Oh.

[Laura Bailey]

That was actually.

[Matt Mercer]

He said no. Oh.

[Ashley Johnson]

Okay. You know what? You know what? We made a decision.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah.

[Ashley Johnson]

And like, now we know. We're ready. If the time comes. Yes.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah. He still taught us something.

[Ashley Johnson]

He too you, Fez.

[Laura Bailey]

He's still taught us something.

[Matt Mercer]

You're welcome.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Ashley Johnson]

To mom of the year over here.

[Matt Mercer]

Let's go get a drink.

[Laura Bailey]

Yeah, that sounds good. How about that lawsuit?

[Matt Mercer]

Hey there, Sam Riegel again. Wild Mount Wildlings is officially over. And you campers have to say your teary goodbyes and head home. But remember, don't be sad that camp is over. Be happy that you survived all the dangerous adventuring trials. What was your favorite story from the camp so far? Consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice and let us and new listeners know what you loved about Wildemount Wildlings as it could help us recruit new adventuring souls. Thank you so much for listening to Wildemount Wildlings. We hope we'll see you at camp again you next summer. Bye.